There was heated debate on how to make a s’more. Rarity wanted the dessert to be perfectly symmetrical, and so she preferred them raw to have a 100% certainty that they’d have no unsightly burn marks. Applejack wanted to toast them over the fireplace, but Trixie argued that the fireplace must be purely for decoration, because if they actually used it to build a fire (inside a tree, mind you) they would burn the place to the ground. Dusk Shine wasn’t sure about it, for he never needed the fireplace for anything in the short time he lived in Ponyville.
And yes, there were a lot of jokes about Rarity being a marshmallow. I won’t share them with you, so you’ll have to use your imagination.
Eventually, it was time to go to bed. Trixie was against having two mares sleep right across from Dusk, but she lost the argument.
Dusk lay in bed, listening to the two mares bicker.
“Gimme some room!” Applejack demanded. “Yer hogging all th’ covers.”
“I am not hogging them,” said Rarity. “I’m just straightening them out because you keep messing them up. And will you quit nudging me?
“Like this?”
“Ow! You did that on purpose, you ruffian!”
“Yeah, but this here’s an accident.” There was a thud as Rarity was shoved out of the bed.
“Oh, that was completely uncalled for. I demand an apology. Now.”
“Can’t hear ya, Ah’m asleep.” Applejack began a faux snore, almost in a mocking tone.
Dusk Shine then finally heard the arguments cease. In a more aware state of mind, he would’ve been suspicious of the conversation ending so abruptly, but in all his grogginess, he was just happy to finally get some sleep.
To his surprise, he felt a disturbance in his sheets. Somepony was getting in bed with him. He rolled over to see Rarity’s face inches away from his.
“Evening, darling,” The fashionista said in an all-too-familiar seductive tone. “Did you miss me?”
“RARITY!” shouted Dusk in panic. He then realized if Applejack overheard and saw them like this, it would be the death of him. He lowered voice to whisper.“What are you doing here?”
“There’s no need to be quiet, my prince,” She assured, gazing at him with her eyes that were dilated by darkness of the night. “I put up a little soundproof bubble around us. You’re not the only one with a few magical tricks up his sleeve, you know.”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Dusk said with a normal volume.
“Oh it’s simply terrible,” she pouted, using a little bit of baby-talk. “That meanie Applejack kicked me out of the bed, so I have no place to sleep for the night.”
“There’s Trixie’s bed,” Dusk said obliviously.
Rarity deadpanned. “You’re missing the point.” She moved in closer. “I. Want. You.” She threw one of her hind legs over him, wrapping herself around him and closing the space between them even closer. He could feel her hot breath on his face. Their chests pressed together, and judging how fast Rarity’s heart was beating, Dusk could fairly guess that Rarity was planning this moment for a long, long time.
“It’s just not fair that the likes of Applejack got to kiss you before me,” complained the drama queen. “I could excuse that Luna girl to touch those perfect lips of yours only once, but Applejack is unforgiveable.”
“Wh-what are you going to do to me?” asked Dusk.
“Shhhhh….” Rarity hushed. “No talking. Besides, you’re going to be busy with your mouth doing… extracurricular activities. I want to remember you exactly like this; the strong, silent type that I have like putty in my hooves.”
“Rarity, I really think you should back out now before you do something we both regr-UMMPH!” Dusk was interrupted with Rarity’s tongue slipping into his mouth. Their kiss was drawn out, and Dusk began to doubt himself. Did he really want her to stop? Did Rarity never give up because she knew deep in heart that she loved him? His thought dissolved as their lips’ embrace continued for a full three minutes. He finally pulled back, realizing that he was kissing back for some time now.
“This is wrong,” he said. But it feels so bucking right, he finished in his head.
“That… was magical,” Rarity breathed. “I was skeptical about how I imagined our first kiss would compare to the real one, but you erased all my doubts. You really ARE my Prince Charming.” She tightly hugged him, nuzzling his neck.
“Please,” he explained. “I’m not this delusional idea you have of the perfect stallion. I’m just me, and I can’t…” Rarity lightly put hoof over Dusk’s mouth and smiled.
“You’re more amazing than any colt I’ve ever met,” said the white unicorn. “Don’t think you can just turn me away just like that. I know you have flaws, and that makes my dream of you more of a reality. For instance…” she leaned over to his ear. “…I’ve seen the way you look at me with my mane wet.”
Dusk’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. “You know about that?” he said with a blush. To be honest, he couldn’t deny his attraction to Rarity. For example, he had suffered wet dreams for two weeks straight after the little incident that they shared in the shower.
“Of course, you know what happens now,” Rarity hinted.
“You go to the bathroom to get your mane wet?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, that would ruin the mattress sheets,” she answered, surprisingly switching from “Saucy Rarity,” back to “Neat-Freak Rarity” in seconds. Just as quickly, she went to “Ladylike Manners Rarity." “You’ve each kissed the Princess, Applejack, and me in that order, correct?” she addressed with authority.
“Yeah…”
“I believe a lady should never settle for tie, and she should give it her all to get ahead of the pack.”
Dusk didn’t like where this was going. Fortunately for him (or unfortunately), the bubble that Rarity made only blocked sound, not actual ponies who decided to invite themselves in. There was another disturbance in the covers, and another mare slipped under the blankets beside Dusk. Knowing somepony came to foil her plans, Rarity didn’t dare to make a sound.
“Who’s there?” asked Dusk, turning over to face the second mare.
“Shut it!” hissed Trixie, unaware that she had passed through a soundproof barrier. “Do you want to wake up those two insane whores?”
Dusk decided to play along, wondering how Rarity could sneak out without Trixie knowing that she was there with them. “What are you doing here?”
“Don’t take this the wrong way,” warned Trixie. “I’m just going to stake out here for the night to make sure nopony tries anything funny.”
Too late, thought Dusk and Rarity simultaneously. Rarity however, thought it with much more glee than she should.
“Besides, it’s n-not like the Great and Powerful Trixie LIKES you or anything,” Trixie lied. “I mean, you know Trixie was just kidding about the stuff she said to you back at the Ursa Minor thing, right?” There was a clash of lightning, and the blue unicorn involuntarily pulled herself closer to her tutor. She felt her cheeks get hot, and Rarity’s temper fumed in that her love was sharing an intimate moment with another mare.
“Trixie, are you scared of thunderstorms?” whispered Dusk with concern.
“Don’t be ridiculous!” said Trixie with more volume than needed. “You have witnessed Trixie perform storm magic before, so why should she be afraid of lightning? Besides, the Great and Powerful Trixie fears nothing!”
*CRACK-BOOM!*
“…Although, she would appreciate it if you held her a little tighter.”
“THAT’S IT!” screamed Rarity, revealing her presence. “Stop this at once, you little parasite! I see what you’re doing!”
“What??” Trixie said in confusion. “What are you doing in Dusk’s bed?!!”
“What lovers do in their bedrooms is none of your business,” said Rarity diligently.
That’s when the first pillow was thrown. Hard.
Rarity sailed through the air, landing on Applejack across the room. With her concentration broken, her soundproof bubble was dispelled.
“What in tarnation is goin’ on here?” said Applejack.
“Trixie caught Dusk and her doing… THINGS in the bed!” Trixie tattled.
“Well, Ah never…” said Applejack. “Ah knew somethin’ was going on when it became too quiet!” She slugged a pillow at Rarity, who was still dazed by Trixie’s attack.
“Girls, please…” pleaded Dusk. “This is all a big misunderstanding!”
“Shuttup, cheater!” He got a pillow to the face.
Eventually, Rarity regained enough focus to fight back, and the pillow fight escalated into a full-fledged pillow war. Applejack supplied pillows by bucking them with her hind legs, while the two unicorns used their magic to turn their ammo into levitation-guided missiles. Each mare cussed like a sailor, throwing the lowest punches verbally and physically. This lasted for thirty grueling minutes, and then was halted by a particularly close lightning bolt to a nearby tree outside.
“That tree’s gonna crash on Berry Punch’s house!” said Applejack, opening the window and getting out her spare lasso.
“Applejack, don’t! You’ll-”
It was too late. Applejack pulled the upper half of the tree into the library bedroom.
“-Bring the tree inside,” Rarity finished.
The room was a disaster. Braches littered the floor as rain poured in the open window. Applejack surfaced her head from under a mess of leaves and wood, seeing Rarity was cleaning up a few spilled shelves.
“What are ya doin’?” demanded the Applejack. “Stop sweatin’ th’ small stuff an’ help me move this tree outside.”
“This is coming from a mare that freaks out when she sees two of her friends in bed together, but says that kissing one of those friends behind the other’s back is ‘no big deal?’” Rarity huffed. “I’m not going to listen to you lecture me on priorities.”
Applejack saw that she wasn’t going to have much luck with Rarity, so she turned to Trixie. “How ‘bout you? You’ve got magic, help me!”
“Trixie wasn’t the one who pulled in that tree,” the showmare said. “And getting any closer would break Trixie’s promise to herself.”
“What promise?”
“That Trixie wouldn’t get within ten feet of that… that hussy!” she pointed a hoof at Rarity.
“Look,” said AJ, addressing both mares, “Ah know we’ve got a darn right ta be mad at each other, but there’s somethin’ bigger than our fight over a dumb boy right now. If we don’t work together, we’re gonna be in a deeper mess o’ trouble than snake pit. Now, who’s with me?”
There was a pause. “Fine,” Rarity said spitefully. “I suppose I can put aside our differences to help out, just this once.”
“Trixie… agrees,” agreed Trixie. “She doesn’t like either of you, but she’ll help you out in a jam.”
“Wait a minute,” interrupted Dusk. “I remember installing a magical lightning rod here,”
“So?”
“So, shouldn’t it have absorbed the lightning bolt?” With that, the crashed tree branch disappeared in a puff of logic. The bedroom returned to normal, the window looked like it was never opened, and the tree outside was even intact.
“…What just happened?” asked Trixie, breaking the most awkward silence ever.
“I have no idea,” said Dusk, confused as everypony else. “I was just pointing out a detail. Did I just accidentally correct something reality itself temporarily forgot?”
“Beats me,” shrugged Applejack. “Ah usually ask Pinkie Pie ‘bout stuff like this.”
“I say we shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” said Rarity gratefully. “Shall we go back to bed and never speak of this again?”
“Hold it right there, missy,” said Applejack. “Ah say that Dusk sleeps on th’ couch downstairs, so Lil’ Miss Prissypants here doesn’t try nothin’ else.”
“I suppose that goes without saying,” admitted Dusk.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Everypony knows that slumber parties can be fun, but there’s a time and place for them, and it’s called foalhood, especially if you plan on having both genders for it. It’s a little sad that I’ll never have a proper slumber party, but I guess playing Book Fort with Shiny and Cadence will provide a nice replacement in my memories.
Your Faithful Student,
Dusk Shine
P.S. I’m sorry that this had to be delivered to you by Derpy-Mail, but as you know, it’s that time of year again, and Spike’s in Canterlot with you on Royal Business.