//------------------------------//
// Masquerader 1.2 
// Story: A Real Hero 
// by Writer87 
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Confusion. Anger. And bemusement...?

The room went silent at my perfectly reasonable words. It's like these guys had never heard of paying people for their good, hard labor. Or maybe this was a place where people just worked for free. It would go along with theme being set so far just fine.

I just know my old boss would've loved if that were the case.

"What sort of hero is this...?" One of the guards-ponies behind me muttered in an annoyed tone. 

"And I thought heroes were supposed to be valiant and noble." I could just hear the eyeroll in his voice. "I don't want to insult them, but did the princesses accidently summon a common ruffian instead?"

They appeared to be astonished for some strange reason. I just pretended to have not heard them, it was amusing nonetheless either way to hear the way these barbarians think.

Luna began to speak again. "Money? What use would funds be of to you? The nation of Equestria has already supported you, as even me and thy sister have put in time and resources to bring you to us."

I wasn't able to contain my eyeroll at that. "And?"

She gave me a contemptuous look. "What does thee mean with 'and'? You're here to help save our world from terrible evils, no coin required."

"Then... I'll have to refuse. Go find another hero instead."

"What?!"

Again, the astonished faces around me brought me pleasure.

"So what if this land is facing some, 'terrible evil'? That's not enough to force me into action at all." I lifted up my hands, shrugging. "Even if you're the one who decided to go and kidnap some stranger - me - to go and play Hero, it doesn't mean that I have to play this game. Pretty lousy way to treat a hero if you ask me."

And it was. This innocent hero could've chosen to just leave for another kingdom to gain support, but I had trust that the ponies would relent. Also, I both didn't know where to even start looking for another kingdom and was pretty sure my chances of a good reception among the populace to be very low if I did so.

"How dare you, to Her Majesty...!" One of the guards-ponies flared up, holding out his spear towards me threateningly. 

I smiled, pointing at the spearhead. "You're free to attack me if you want to... but what happens if you do? If you wound me, who's going to go out and slay the demon lord? You can replace a King with a prince, but who can replace a hero?" I let the room go quiet before finishing. "No one."

This place probably ran on some dumb fantasy logic where only the hero was capable of slaying the 'big bad guy'. Or at least I hoped no one else could, which was probably the reason why they haven't straight out stomped my ass back into the ice age. I'd really hate to be wrong and look really stupid... and dead. Yeah, that sucked too. 

"Lay down thy weapons," Celestia finally spoke for the first time since we came into the hall. The guards-pony did so, even though it was obvious he'd rather have skewered me with it instead. I made note to watch my back for any suspicious looking poles in the near future.

Were these guys just princesses? I mean, I've heard of loyalty to the Queen, but nothing quite like this. Either they were really good leaders or I'm just out of the loop on crucial information. Hero or not, just having them be on my bad side wasn't optimal. We were supposedly allies, after all.

I needed a new plan. A new angle; continuing this route may get me what I want, but it would simultaneously gain me the ire of both princesses which would probably translate to the rest of the kingdom having a bone to grind with me. A message that would not only ease the doubts towards my person, but would also get the princesses to offer me what I wanted on the spot. I recalled the multitude of stories read across years of study, drew upon the natural flow they always followed.

Luna had recoiled at the word 'kidnap', wrinkling her lip. "We give apologies for any distresses that have been caused to you as a result of this, but we still require you to be a hero."

"I know but just..." I sighed, forming a gloomy expression unto my face. "I was just about to meet my mother for the first time in several years after finally saving up enough money to do so. And just when I'm about to be able to meet her... I'm dropped off here. Penniless, confused, kidnapped. Reminds me of the days when I grew up poor, scraping for every crumb, my mother my sole parent..."

I forced my head down, and in a quivering voice said, "It was just too much for me to be back to... all of that. I just wanted security, and I found that in money."

All of which was a blatant lie.

I had no convenient depressing childhood background to go back on. Both of my parents loved me, I talked to them regularly quite often, and I had a group of friends I talked with quite often. And let's just say money was never really... a problem for me. 

All in all, I was a perfectly well functioning member of society. Heavens know why I was summoned out of the literal millions of social rejects all across the world. Well, I sure wasn't going to complain. I was equipped with both the opportunity to see true fantasy at work and an intelligence above 'algae-eating isekai protagonist'. 

Here, I was a god.

At last, Celestia uttered five words.

"Sorry, we had no idea." Celestia sounded sincerely sorry. I couldn't tell if she was being genuine or lying to save face in front of her men. "We don't wish Equestria to be a place of strife for you. Just allow me to converse with my sister for a brief moment."

The hall was silent except for the furious hushed whispers between Celestia and Luna, both whom kept sending looks back towards my way. The guards-ponies around me avoided my gaze, embarrassed by the treatment given to me after hearing my 'tale'. If all people here were like this, I was going to have a field day.

A 'taking candies from babies' type field day.

Despite not being able to hear what they were saying, I could tell from the softening look on Luna's face that I was going to get what I wanted. A smile graced my lips.

Luna was the one who spoke first. "So we have come to a conclusions of sorts, and have decided to reimburse you for your troubles and future Heroic duties."

"Good! Quick question though." I put a finger up. "How much is the average salary for people around here?"

"People...?" Celestia sounded confused, but answered nonetheless. "I haven't taken a look at this years census but it should approximate to around two-hundred thousand bits per pony a year. Why?"

Two-hundred thousand as an average?! Granted I didn't know what that equated to in dollars, but still. Two-hundred thousand of anything was a shit-ton amount. "Because, I'm going to ask for that amount, but times ten."

Now at that, Luna actually coughed. "Times ten? Thee pleads for... two-million bits?!" 

I winced, covering both ears. I could actually feel the air vibrate with her words, the ground slightly rumbling beneath my feet. If she could do this with just a yell... I fear what she could do if she got serious. For now.

"I'm a national asse- No, I'm a world-wide asset." I opened my arms, just showing the entirety of myself. "I am not one to be prideful, but unironically I'm about to take on a task that will save millions, if not for future billions. I'm worth at least ten ponies in cost."

"Or do you not..." I paused, glancing at the ponies with fake contempt in my eyes. "Care about the future of the world?"

I've laid it all out for everyone. You can't hardly go against what I said, can you? At least, not in front of all of these people.

"It is true that'll you'll be doing an important duty," Celestia said, her voice conversational, as if we were having a dinnerside chat. "Quite a large sum of money would prove to be a hassle for me to get processed into our records." She looked me straight in the eyes; pupils heavy with implication.

I had a feeling that she wouldn't out right accept me getting two million off the bat, so I had another offer for her up my sleeve. Never go in asking for anything without several other offers. "I admit it's a wee bit much of money. So how about you take off like five-hundred thousand bits off that amount and grant me with the title of noble... as a Hero."

The guards began to make a commotion, unable to keep their silence any longer. How could they? A random alien comes out of nowhere and asks to become one of the nobility without being of royal blood. It was crazy. If the nobility here was anything like that of Earth's kingdoms, then this was an extremely wild thing to ask for.

Considering the looks on the princess' faces, they had already decided I was insane, and were only debating how much meds to pump me onto.

Celestia's smile tightened just a fraction.

"Nobility is quite the... heavy burden to deal with. It is absurd to ask for it." Celestia said. "No offense, but without the proper training, even with all its blessings... it may turn into a curse."

Is she trying to goad me into 'realizing' I'm out of my depth and taking back my offer? Ha! Well, that wasn't going to work on me. If I was a noble, nobody would be causing any trouble for me. Not even immortality could save you if you were to make a wrong move in front of a noble.

But a hero? You could spit on their faces and insult them all you like; no retribution is going to come back towards you for doing that. Heroes were just glorified mercenaries anyways, who would stop you from messing with a foreigner? 

"Then don't give me any of the duties that come with one." I rubbed my chin. "I mean don't add anymore. I think saving the world is enough of a noble duty, don't ya think?" I grinned the biggest, dumbest grin I could.

"..."

Once more, the princesses turned to each other to converse for a solid five seconds. The hall was so quiet that I could've heard a pin drop.

At last, a resigned smile touched Celestia's lips. "I can't say that there is anything wrong with what you're asking for. I shall ask for your royal stipend to start as soon as possible, as well as process your status of a noble." 

She said it so calmly and so smoothly, that I could've believed that she really had no problem with my offers. That she wouldn't want me to take back what I said. She looked into my eyes again. This time there was more hidden meaning.

"There will be... many troubles ahead of you," she began slowly. "Some may come from your tasks as a hero, and others from your status as a Hero. Should you find any trouble with your current position, don't wait to seek my aid, yes?"

Give up my nobility and money? Hahaha! Celestia, you're a funny horse unicorn pony thing.

"Actually, I got one more thing."

The princesses just looked at me, somehow tired of my perfectly reasonable demands.

"This is the last thing I promise." I raised a finger, smiling wryly. "Could I get that in writing? Preferably in a signed contract."