//------------------------------//
// Local Flavor. 
// Story: Bros in Equestria 
// by Mandroid 
//------------------------------//

	It seemed they skip summer in Stalliongrad. 
The air was temperate and moist, it carried the smell of gas and hay. Everything in this city looked waterlogged, the ponies walking the streets looked tired and irritated. The entire city had an air of dreariness.
"You two come from, quite possibly, the most depressing city in existence." you say.
Aloe and Lotus shoot you a look.
"And I've been to the Griffin kingdoms."
Aloe rolls her eyes. "You can't judge an entire city off of your first glance, Mous. Stalliongrad is one of the capitals of industry in all of Equestria!"
Lotus throws her saddlebags back over herself and starts walking down the road. "Oh, don't listen to him. He's just grumpy that he has to travel to Canterlot once we get back."
It was true. By god did you hate travel. What did you care about some stupid royal wedding, anyway?"
The three of you continue down the road. You take the opportunity to look around.
"Why is everything here positively dripping?" you ask.
Lotus looks over her shoulder back at you. "We get a lot of snow here, so when it starts to warm up we get a bit waterlogged"
You'd hate to be here during the winter...
"And your parents still decide to live here?"
Lotus chuckles. "Mama and Papa would never leave Stalliongrad."
"Mama and Papa?" you think.
Not weird in the slightest...
The three of you reach your destination, a townhouse on the eastern bloc of the city, in time. Aloe and Lotus are practically giddy as they trot up the front porch and knock on the door.
A blue earth mare opens the door with a big smile. "My little girls!"
"Mama!" Aloe and Lotus cry as they lunge at her.
You climb the porch as the three of them have their reunion. The girl's mother looks ecstatic "How are my daughters? Are you well?" her eyes drift to you. "And is this the one you told us about, Lotus?"
Okay, first impression time.
"Hello, my name is Mous. It's a pleasure to meet you." you say with an extended hand.
 A little too much boy scout there...
The mare extender her hoof and shakes. "And I am Celtic Kick. It is so nice to finally meet the one my daughters speak of so often."
You glance at Lotus. "Only good things, I hope."
Lotus gives you a wink. Good, she hadn't mentioned the cult business.
"Come in, come in." Celtic Kick mutter as she ushered you all into the house.
She calls into the kitchen. "Darling! The girls are home! And they brought a guest!"
What follows is the bastard child of an atom bomb and a jet engine. "WHAT!? MY LITTLE GIRLS ARE HOME!?"
A brown earth stallion bounds out of the other room and practically stampedes you. "AH! MY LITTLE GIRLS, COME BACK TO VISIT AFTER ALL THIS TIME!"
He spots you and trots up. "AND YOU MUST BE ALIEN THAT MY LITTLE LOTUS MET!" he wraps his hooves around you, yet the shouting continues. "YOU WILL CALL ME STRELNIKOV! IS GOOD TO FINALLY MEET YOU!"
Yep! We're deaf now!





-Headcanon Strelnikov Voice-


You're pushed into a living room and plopped on a couch, Lotus hops up next to you. She must have noticed your dazed look. 
"Yes, Papa has a good set of lungs. You'll get used to it." she whispers.
You really hope so.
The obvious questions are taken care of first: What are you and where did you come from? You give the abridged history of your life before you came here and your species, stopping once you landed in Ponyville.
Celtic Kick takes a sip of her tea. "So, Mous. How did you meet our daughter?" 
"YES! TELL US OF HOW YOU KIDS MEET!" Strelnikov says.
You swear you can feel the house shake when he talks. Or was that the continent below you?
"Well, I met Lotus when I applied for work at the spa." Lotus leans her head on your shoulder. "We got along well enough and things just kinda... took off."
Oh god that was a terrible story. You'd have to work on that.
Aloe covers for you. "You should have been there to see it, mama. These two acted just like how you and papa did in your old stories." 
"Did they now?" Celtic Kick chuckles out.
"HA! IS GOOD TO SEE OUR LITTLE GIRL TAKES AFTER HER MOTHER!" Strelnikov says as he slaps the table.
"Tease all you want, but I can just look at the two of you and see that everything worked out well." Lotus says.
"And I don't mind being like your dad, it would be cool to be able to shout like that." you say.
You almost go deaf again as Strelnikov laughs at your joke.
The five of you sit and talk for a while before Strelnikov rises from his seat. "MOUS, WHAT SAY YOU AND I GO TO BAR? GIVE THE GIRLS TIME TO AWAY FROM US."
You glance down at Lotus. "What? He's safe, he doesn't bite or anything." she says.
You pull yourself off the couch and chuckle. "No more than you do."
You and your new partner in crime head out, Strelnikov leaking the way to a bar a few blocks down. The first thing you notice when you walk in is that it looks like the entire town is in here.
Stalliongrad must not have a particularly bumping night life...
Strelnikov leads you to some stools at the far end of the bar. "BARMAN! RED BAYBALES!" he calls out.
The drinks float over to the two of you. You're about to down yours when you see Strelnikov eyeing you.
You raise your mug. "To decent drinks."
"YA BUDU PIT' ETO." he says.
What?
Must be his native tongue 
You throw your drink back and start chugging. And chugging. And chugging... You slam your empty mug down on the counter as Stelnikov chuckles. Let it never be said you cannot impress. It helps that Equestrian booze is weaker then the stuff you're used to.
The two of you sit in silence for a moment. "SO, MOUS. LET US TALK OF THINGS." he says.
Oh?
"What kind of things?" you ask.
"THINGS LIKE CULTS."
Fuck.
You turn to try and make a joke to let this blow over, but Strelnikov has a deadly serious look on his face.
"You heard about that, huh?" you groan.
"ONLY BECAME FACTORY WORKER WHEN THE GIRLS WERE BORN. STILL HAVE OLD FRIENDS IN HIGH PLACES." His voice sounds like rolling thunder. "THEY TELL ME THINGS. THINGS LIKE HOW ALIEN JOINS CULT TO BRING BACK DISCORD AND THEN BREAKS THEM BEFORE IT HAPPENS. BUT NOT AFTER DOING MANY BAD THINGS."
You motion for another drink and down a gulp as soon as it gets to you. "Yeah, that sounds right..." you say.
You didn't like thinking about the cult. Not after that trip to Canterlot's jail.
"I AM NOT WONDERING WHY, ALREADY KNOW THAT FROM FRIENDS. WHAT I AM WONDERING IS IF YOU BRING THAT TROUBLE TO LOTUS." he asks.
You turn to look at him. He's staring straight ahead. "MANY OLD FRIENDS DID NOT WANT ME TO GO FACTORY WHEN MY GIRLS WERE BORN, WANTED ME TO STAY AT OLD JOB WITH THEM. I DID NOT WANT THAT LIFE FOR MY NEW FAMILY. HAD TO DO LOTS OF BAD THINGS TO PUT IT ALL BEHIND."
He finally looks you in the eye. His eyes are cold, but you can see the determination behind them "YOU HAVE IMPRESSIVE START. BUT I WONDER, WOULD YOU DO BAD THINGS AGAIN TO PROTECT MY DAUGHTER? WOULD YOU STEAL AND LIE AND HURT TO KEEP YOUR FAMILY SAFE?"
You think about who you're talking to. Then you think about the worst case scenario you can think of.
You grab your mug. "I'd do a whole lot worse than that."
Strelnikov stares you down for an eternity, seemingly testing your conviction. A smile parts his lips and he throws his hoof around your shoulder. "I KNEW MY LITTLE TSVETOK HAD CHOSEN WELL!"
The two of you laugh and order another round, reveling in the skewed morality that neither of you can seem to give a damn about right now.
You spend the next few hours at the bar, regaling Stelnikov with tales of your exploits. "So, I'm standing between Anon and this bucking manticore, and it's growling and howling and making a big scene. I get it to chase me all over the area and eventually lop its tail off."
Strelnikov grins and nods. "HA! GOOD SHOW!"
"Yeah...he got me back, though." You rub the scars on your back at the memory.
"DOES NOT MATTER! YOU STOOD GROUND AGAINST FOE MUCH BIGGER THEN YOU, THAT TAKE KISHKI!"
Or a stupendous lack of intelligence.
"Strelnikov! Stop making so much damn noise!" comes a voice from the opposite side of you.
Strelnikov leans back on his stool. "PERYEITI SEKSOM S SAMIM SOBOI, SICKLE STAR! DO NOT BE JEALOUS OF MY NEW FRIEND JUST BECAUSE HE CAN FACE MANTICORE AND YOU RUN FROM LITTLE BUNNY!"
Strelnikov laughs as this Sickle Star stomps his way over to you. He was a gargantuan red pegasus, his friends followed behind him.
Dammit...It's Whistleblower all over again.
Sickle Star gets right in your face. "I see no friend here. I only see some freak." he spits out.
Oh hell naw.
"Look, Tinkerbelle. There's no reason to be rude." you say in your seat. "Why don't you and your boytoys head back to your seats and ignore us until we go away?"
Sickle Star doesn't like that. "Maybe we don't want to ignore you! Maybe we make you go away...?"
"YOU GOING TO TAKE THAT FROM THIS KHUL?" Strelnikov says.
You throw a wink to him as you pick up your mug.

-Music-
You empty the contents of your mug. "Ah...that's good."
You bash Sickle Star between the eyes with the mug and knee him in the chin on his way down. You bring down the mug onto his friend on the right side, shattering it on his horn. You kick Sickle Star out of the way and grab the last stallions hoof as he jabs it towards you.
"I'm faster than you." you say as you deliver three punches into his ribs and bash his head on the bar counter.
You can hear Strelnikov working over the unicorn you blew past as Sickle Star gets back on his feet. He scrapes his hoof on the floor twice and charges you.
Mistake.
You swipe a barstool and bring it down on his head in a swift motion. If the fistfight didn't alert the rest of the bar, the shattering barstool did. Might as well make it count, you haul Sickle Star's prone form over your shoulder and toss him behind the bar.
Sickle Star apparently had more friends, because another pair of earth ponies rise from their seats and trot towards you.
"Oh come on, you too?" you moan.
You hear a galloping behind before you see Strelnikov sail over your head. "KTO SLEDUYUSHCHII!?" he cries as he tackles one of them.
Time to wrap this up.
You jump up on the bar counter and make for the door, being sure to kick the tackled ponies friend in the face on your way. 
"Stelnikov! Exit!" you call out.
Strelnikov delivers two more blows to the pony on the ground before he bounds over him and runs out the door with you. The two of you are halfway down the block before anypony gets out of the bar.

Strelnikov and you are still laughing by the time you get back to the house. "YOU HAVE GOOD RIGHT HOOK FOR ALIEN!" he shouts.
"You should have seen me before I came here..."
The two of you walk inside. "We're home, how're you gir-" you start.
You walk in on Aloe, Lotus, and Celtic Kick all sitting down, they were holding their hooves over their mouths smiling. 
"Oh, Mous. *snrk* Y-You're back. *snrk* How was it?" Lotus says as she eyes her sister and mother.
What was going on he-Oh dammit.
You sigh. "You told them that I'm ticklish, didn't you?"
The girls erupt into furious laughter as the cat escapes from his bag, Strelnikov joins them as you both sit back down.
A few more hours of conversation leads you to bed. Aloe and Lotus insist on sleeping in their old bedroom upstairs. You don't complain, they had sweet bunk beds.
Unfortunately, you and Lotus were stuck on the bottom bunk. Aloe's head pokes out from around the edge of her bed. 
"I better not hear anything down there." she warns with a smile.
You grin back. "Don't worry, you won't. We're very quiet."
Aloe sticks her tongue out and recedes back.
Lotus settles in on your chest. "So, did you and Papa have a good time bonding?"
"Yeah, we did some stuff." you report.
Lotus raises her eyebrow. "Oh? What kind of stuff?"
You think back to the events of the night. Strelnikov knowing about the cult, the conversation that followed, the bar brawl.
"Oh...you know. Guy stuff."