“Take deep breaths.”
Fluffyheart performed her practiced breathing exercises. In and out, in and out. She shook erratically, trying desperately to stay still. It didn’t work. Nothing seemed to calm her down.
So how did we get here? Mom had decided that it was time for Fluffyheart to grow up some more. This lead to Fluffyheart being forced to go to a manedresser for her mane cut.
Fluffyheart and Mom had arrived. Or right outside the door that is.
The glass door’s reflection fogged up as Fluffyheart’s shallow breaths were marked on the door. What was once a red furred thestral, or batpony for the cool foals, now looked as though she was missing an arm. Fluffyheart’s mane looked horrible in the reflection, although after looking at looking at herself quickly, found that her mane was as terrible in the reflection as in pony.
Fluffyheart scoffed. Ask any character from the novels that Fluffyheart read and they’ll tell you that maids cut overlord’s manes.
Fluffyheart looked over to her Mom. Mom was like a maid…
“Mom why can’t you just cut my hair?” Fluffyheart whined.
“Dear we’ve been over this. I can’t keep giving you mane cuts.”
A lie. Mom didn’t really mind the mane cuts. She was always smiling while giving her a mane cut. There’s no way Mom would fake that.
Right?
“Now,” Mom said, “Do just like we practiced.”
“I can’t.”
Why? Why can’t Mom just cut my mane?!
Mom gave Fluffyheart a look that did not accept quitting.
“If you don’t go in the store, then you won’t get your allowance.” Mom scratched her chin, almost as if contemplating something. “Also there’s a book coming out about Nightmare Moon and what drove her to do the terrible things she did.”
Fluffyheart scoffed. That was easy. She had read several books like that.
What would make this new one any different?
“They say with this one that they’ll go into how she accomplished her evil deeds.”
Fluffyheart scoffed. “You’re just making that up.”
Mom had a wide grin on her face. It was almost as if she was telling the truth.
But there was no way she was.
“Oh no, it’s real. It’s called…” Mom scratched her chin, trying to remember the title. “Ah! ‘A Lunar Heart Driven Mad.’ It’s a novella."
Now Fluffyheart was interested. Fluffyheart shuffled her hooves about, deciding whether or not she was going to enter.
“But,” Mom continued, “If you enter in five seconds, then I’ll buy it for you, free of charge.”
It was a very tempting offer. But could Fluffyheart actually enter the door and go through such a horrific process?
“Five.”
No no no. That’s impossible.
“Four.”
Maybe. But what about the stares?
“Three.”
To walk in the door, or not to walk in the door; that is the question.
“Two.”
Fluffyheart wanted that book.
“Ooooonnnnneeee.”
Fluffyheart dashed through the door.
Fluffyheart looked around. This was the place where she was supposed to get a mane cut?!
It had pink walls, which seemed to be an invitation for only mares to join. A white roof and white floors, looking as though the place was well maintained. And purple furniture throughout, with the furniture all matching in the exact tone of a deep mauve. Why anyone thought the color scheme was a good idea was beyond Fluffyheart.
They must have a bought all their stuff from a thrift store, caring only for color. Proof of this theory was a banner, which looked much like a birthday banner, that hung from the ceiling. Written on the banner with permanent marker was the name of the store, ‘Hair Extrodinare’.
They should’ve just called the store, ‘The Tackiest Place Around.’ At least then the name would be accurate, as there was nothing extraordinary about getting a mane cut.
Looking at the decorations only calmed Fluffyheart so much. Fluffyheart focused back on the task at hand.
All she had to do was as practiced. That was easy, right?
Mom, attempting to unroot Fluffyheart from her position, nudged her forward.
Everyone’s eyes must have been on Fluffyheart. Fluffyheart was always right about these things.
Mom forced Fluffyheart’s head to look at her. “Now listen, I understand that its hard to look at these ponies.”
Fluffyheart started working her way up to hyperventilating.
“But if you really want that book-”
Fluffyheart really wanted that book.
“Then you need to go up to the counter, and tell them that you are here for your scheduled appointment. That isn’t too hard, is it?”
Yes it was.
“Do you know how to walk?” Mom asked, in an all too serious tone.
And now she begins with the jokes.
Fluffyheart scoffed. “Yes Mom.”
“Well it sure doesn’t seem like it.”
“Mom I’m fine.”
“Well your legs are supposed to move like the little ants. I don’t see that right now.”
Mom always mentioned those ants. Sure, the ants were hard workers that did their job for the good of their community, but Fluffyheart liked them when she was foal. She was a grown mare now.
“Come on, just like the song. The ants come marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah.”
“MOM!”
“The ants come marching two by two, hur-”
Fluffyheart angrily cantered to a front desk ahead, wanting to get away from the annoying mare.
“Works every time.”
Behind the receptionist desk was a mare clerk, who from the looks of it, was happily chatting with a stallion on one of the couches in the waiting area.
The mare was a sight for sore eyes.
Literally, the mare made Fluffyheart’s eyes hurt. She screamed, ‘super cheery with a cherry on top’. Her bright yellow fur and luminescent green mane made her look like a neon sign.
And the hair ties across her wrists weren’t helping anything, as she wasn’t even using them for her mane.
The mare was, dare Fluffyheart say, a good person.
Fluffyheart hated it.
The mare was also doing some paperwork.
Fluffyheart, in an attempt to distract herself, decided to look at what the mare was writing.
It seemed to be tax documents with number and letter combinations. The mare was writing on a document that had a ‘W2’ at the top of it. There was also a name, the mare’s name from the looks of it, on the top right: ‘Wishy Washy.’
Wishy Washy didn’t seem to notice Fluffyheart at all, too engrossed with her conversation.
It wasn’t until a stallion, which Wishy Washy was talking to, told the clerk to ‘look up’ that she finally addressed Fluffyheart.
“Ah my apologies!” Wishy Washy said, with a bright smile on her face. “Did you hear about what Old McStuffins did this time?”
“Um…”
Wishy Washy laughed. “Why it was hilarious! See Old McStuffins works as a vet. Since he’s always around animals-”
This wasn’t how to conversation was supposed to start! A clerk was supposed to say something like ‘What are you here for?’ or ‘How can I help you?’.
She could pretend to laugh and nod at the jokes, but she might laugh at the wrong one. What then!
Fluffyheart knew this was too hard to do. She should’ve stayed home and let her mane get scraggly. Or just cut it all off.
“I don’t think she’s here to gossip,” the stallion said. “Plus I think you’re making her nervous.”
“Oh,” Wishy Washy said.
Wishy Washy then waved her hoof almost as if to say ‘Hi!’, causing her various hair ties around her hoof jangling.
“What can I help you with then hun?”
Wishy Washy exuded a sense of being perfect at talking, almost as if talking was something to take pride in.
Worse yet, Fluffyheart finally noticed that the entire store was talking. Everywhere Fluffyheart looked, somepony was talking with another somepony.
And yet Fluffyheart was the only one talking to nobody. Something had to be done to rectify this.
Fluffyheart thought hard.
Aha! A joke. All she needed was the perfect joke, then she could bridge the gap from ‘outsider’ to ‘part of the group’. After all, everypony loves a good joke.
It was the perfect plan.
“Uh, hun.” The clerk waved her hair tied hoof in front of Fluffheart. “You still there?”
Drat, she made a social blunder! Not to worry, every social blunder could be rectified with The Joke.
“Yes um…” Fluffyheart cleared her throat. “I am here for an uh… appointment.”
Wishy Washy moved her papers to the side, all the while listening in on what the stallion was discussing.
“Aha, here it is! What’s your name again?”
“Fluffyheart.”
Wishy Washy laughed at a joke the stallion told. Something about cucumbers and zucchini.
Hey! Maybe food would make a good joke!
Yeah, Fluffyheart had the perfect joke!
“What do you call-”
Wishy Washy looked straight in the eyes at Fluffyheart.
Fluffyheart promptly stopped speaking, far too nervous from the intense gaze Wishy Washy gave.
No that joke was too corny. Get it?
In all seriousness that joke wasn’t good enough, she needed something better.
Wishy Washy laughed one more time before addressing Fluffyheart again, “Alright, I found you in our system. Feel free to stay in the waiting area while, well, waiting!”
Fluffyheart sat down on a couch, as far away from everypony else as possible.
Now comes the boring part. What to do… What to do…
Fluffyheart could plan the takeover of all that is good and righteous.
Nevermind, that sounded boring.
There were magazines. But who wants to read gossip magazines? Worse yet, ‘Your Hair and You’, did not look like an exciting read.
Why couldn’t there be a magazine about murder mysteries, or, who knows, anything else.
Fluffyheart sighed. What to do… What to do…
It was then that Fluffyheart’s eyes glanced over to some sort of table bolted into the floor.
That’s peculiar…
Fluffyheart inspected a table, finding it to be a foals’s toys with various beads and tubes running throughout.
The goal was simple. Put the beads from one end of the tube to the other end of the tube. Or she could cause havoc and jangle the beads wherever one desired. Fluffyheart liked the second option better.
Fluffyheart looked to Mom, contemplating. Then back at the table. To Mom. The table. Mom. Table.
Surely Mom wouldn’t mind, right?
Fluffyheart, ever so carefully, approached the beaded table. Slither, slither, like Mr. Snake….
Success! Fluffyheart was at the table.
And the jingling began!
Jingle Jangle! Jingle Jangle! The beads moved positions.
Mom’s head flew over to where Fluffyheart was doing her jangles.
Mom’s teeth were clenched and throat strained from the effort of a too-wide smile.
“What are you doing?” Mom asked, all the while looking around, likely from trying to make sure no one was looking.
Fluffyheart moved another bead. “Waiting?”
Mom’s throat looked more strained from before and her smile widened.
“Oh no,” Mom said, “You are not making a ruckus while waiting.”
“But Mom!”
“No buts.”
Fluffyheart moved the beads more frantically then before. “Then stop me!”
Jingle Jangle! Jingle Jangle! Jingle Jangle!
Jingle Jangle! Jingle Jangle! Jingle Jangle!
Jingle Jangle! Jingle Jan-
“ALRIGHT!” Mom said, a bit too loudly. “You can play if you stop making such a ruckus.”
Fluffyheart began cackling to herself, for she always got her way.
The cackling continued on, nothing could stop Fluffyheart.
Cackling could quietly be heard throughout the waiting area.
Fluffyheart was on top of the world! She owned it! She-
Mom smacked Fluffyheart’s snout with a rolled up magazine.
“Stop making a ruckus! Go back to playing with your beads.”
Fluffyheart sneezed.
She then continued her jangles.
Fluffyheart looked at Mom. Good, seems Mom was okay with the jangles now.
Although Mom’s eyes were staring into the distance. Fluffyheart wondered at what it could be.
And was disappointed at the sight of it.
The manedressers were all talking amongst themselves, pointing at Fluffyheart.
Fluffyheart didn’t feel like jangling anymore.
Just like in high school, ponies were talking, pointing, and laughing at Fluffyheart.
Just like in high school, they probably were saying things that they wouldn’t say in public. Some especially inappropriate things.
And just like in high school, rumors would spread. Some so bad that she would have to go to another school.
But then she didn’t want her parents to worry about the other ponies, so she would pretend to have a friend when she didn’t really have any.
Oh well. At least she could go back to her Cave of Villainy, trademarked by the way, after school and try to forget everything that happened.
It never worked.
And so, rather than being a nuisance to be made fun of, Fluffyheart sat on a chair across from Mom.
Or she would have, had a bead not fallen on its own.
Fair game! The jangles shall continue.
Mom let out a sigh and a sad smile. Perhaps she was happy Fluffyheart was playing with the jangles?
Of course! Deep down everyone liked the jangles!
“Fluffyheart,” the clerk behind her desk called out. “The manedresser is ready for you.”
Oh colt! Fluffyheart didn’t practice this part.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Fluffyheart got up and approached the front counter.
“I’m Affinity and I’ll be your manedresser today. Let’s get going!”
Affinity led Fluffyheart forward. As they walked, Affinity’s brown and pink mane swished around.
It was easier to look at her hair than her face.
“Sit and let your head fall back.”
Fluffyheart did as she was told.
It felt kind of nice. Sitting on padded seat with a little basin for her mane. She could get used to this.
Then the water came. And that felt pleasant too!
“Now, I’m prepping your mane for your mane cut. Wouldn’t want a bunch of knots in your mane. Then I might accidentally cut too much!”
Affinity laughed.
Alright that was a scary prospect.
Then Affinity used the spray nozzle, and Fluffyheart sunk into her seat a bit more.
“We also wouldn’t want your hair to be dry. I might accidentally not notice how much I’ve already cut then! Another way I might cut too much off.”
Hoo colt, wouldn’t want that, but there was no need to worry about the mane cut.
Affinity added some sort of lotion to Fluffyheart’s mane. It felt like a slice of bliss.
“And we need to make sure we lotion your mane. The lotion will keep your mane soft and moist. Wouldn’t want to cut too much hair.”
Cut too much hair? Cut too much hair! How many times was the mare going to mention cutting too much hair?
Surely the mare knew what she was doing?
“We’ll be done in like twenty minutes. So don’t get too comfortable.”
Fluffyheart’s mane! It was doomed!
Fluffyheart needed to stay in this seat for as long as possible.
That was easier said than done, however.
Affinity then started to run her hooves over Fluffyheart’s mane.
“Now if I don’t run my hooves over your hair then…”
It’ll probably end with something about cutting too much of her mane.
“…Then snip! You’ll have a short mane!”
Fluffyheart hated being right.
Fluffyheart squirmed. She imagined the look on the mirror she would give herself. When her mane was lobbed off.
It’s fine it’s fine, short manes are in.
Although she hadn’t seen many mares with short manes.
There was nothing to worry about, she had… Fifteen minutes!
What happened to the rest of those minutes! Did they jump off and commit a mutiny of their own?
What kind of evil overlord has a short mane? Sure the stallions do, but the mares? Impossible.
She needed to be feared, respected, admired even.
Torture was necessary to ensure that even with a short mane, Fluffyheart was feared.
That meant more chili powder in Dad’s coffee. And chili powder in Mom’s water.
But not in a whoopee cushion. Fluffyheart learned the hard way when Dad had to go to the hospital.
Okay it’s fine she had… Ten minutes?
Why? Why was she doomed to have a short mane.
Deep breaths. There was nothing to worry about.
Eight minutes! And that was only when she rounded up!
Affinity had continued gabbing on about short hair. “...whoopsie! Too much cut!”
Fluffyheart’s eyes locked onto the clock.
Of course! The solution was so simple!
She just needed to manipulate time!
Fluffyheart looked deep within herself for a nonexistent well of magic. Slowly, through the use of evil sorcery, she would turn back time.
And… three minutes.
No! Not like this!
Two minutes, thirty-eightish seconds.
Fluffyheart would have to accept her fate. She knew it all too well.
But she could act dead?
No Mom wouldn’t believe her.
“All done!”
And just like that, all hope Fluffyheart had drained out of her soul.
“Now come,” Affinity continued on, “Let’s get your mane cut.”
Fluffyheart accepted her fate, following Affinity to a purple swivel chair.
Buzzzz. The clippers turned on.
Affinity grabbed a comb and began her work.
This isn’t so bad…
Fluffyheart felt Affinity cut a bit too much off the sides.
Fluffyheart shook slightly.
Then Affinity took too much off the other side!
Fluffyheart shook some more.
Affinity continued with her clippers, alternating between them and a pair of scissors.
What felt like large portions of hair were taken off.
Fluffyheart closed her eyes. She tried to distract herself from the manecut, thinking of anything that might help her escape this terrible place.
She picked up the various noises around her in greater clarity.
“Have you heard that Miss Periwinkle-”
“-And she just stood there, laughing-”
“-I couldn’t believe it! Why you should have-”
There was one particular conversation that sounded very interesting.
“-And can you believe that Old McStuffins has been a vet for thirty years now! Like hello-”
Fluffyheart looked up at the speaker. It was Wishy Washy!
That mare was a bright and cheery menace to all of introverted kind!
Yet she seemed kind of fun to talk to…
So what kind of joke would a mare like her think is funny?
The Joke had to be grand, magnificient, the sacré bleu of jokes.
Dad did get that joke book. And Fluffyheart had looked through it.
If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?
Mistle-toes!
No that was a Hearthswarming themed one. Fluffyheart needed better.
What do cows most like to read?
Cattle-logs!
But did the staff actually read the magazines set around the store? There was no good way to know.
Surely there must have been a better one? But what?
What did the hoofball coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarterback!
But there was nothing sports themed around the store. So what was the joke she should go with?
Worse yet, Fluffyheart didn’t remember any of the other jokes from the book.
“-Good for Old McStuffins I say, why I can’t imagine-”
Fluffyheart was losing precious conversation time!
Wishy Washy’s laughter resounded throughout the store.
Drat! Fluffyheart missed the joke!
Fluffyheart didn’t want to be the weird one that kept to herself.
Snip! Affinity got a rather large chunk of hair.
And itchy! Everything was itchy!
Fluffyheart cackled to herself. She could weaponize this itchiness.
Just imagine, chili powder and hair. It was a magnificent combination.
From Mom’s facial expression, she seemed to notice that Fluffyheart was thinking unsavory thoughts.
But drat what the mare thinks! More importantly drat this haircut!
Evil does not rest while having a mane cut. Evil inspires others to quake where they stand, to fear what is around them, and to be less than what they are.
And this mane cut was evil! And nothing could stop evil.
Wishy Washy talked on. If she knew how evil mane cuts were, maybe she wouldn’t work at one of these places!
Or maybe that’s exactly why she worked at one of these places!
Surely her and Fluffyheart would get along well. So then what joke would Wishy Washy like!
Wait! What about that new joke Dad told Fluffyheart that he learned at work.
The joke was corny. The not the good – haha they didn’t think of that – but the – haha they can’t believe you actually said that.
But it might just work…
Fluffyheart focused back on the conversation Wishy Washy was having. Rather than talking about Old McStuffins, they seemed to be talking about her.
Affinity responded to Wishy Washy. “I know. Can you believe her? It’s not everyday you see a thestral who dyes their fur red. Nor do you see them play with the toys.”
Great. Make fun of the one sitting in the chair why don’t you.
Fluffyheart should’ve expected that they would talk ill about her.
So what if she likes to cackle when she finds something funny. So what that she likes to dye her fur red. And so what if she plays with kids toys, sometimes, when she’s trying to relax, and definitely doesn’t try them when she’s alone.
So what that she was weird.
Affinity laughed. “I know! But who could believe she was brave enough to even play with the table. She’s got some guts.”
Huh?
“I know,” Wishy Washy responded, “It’s radical she even touched the table. Everyone always wants to play with the table and swish around those beads.”
They couldn’t be…
A stallion chuckled. “To be honest, when I saw her playing, I was a little jealous that I hadn’t played with the beads myself.”
The store burst out into laughter.
It didn’t sound like they were making fun of Fluffyheart.
But they were gossiping so much that Old McStuffins had become a close friend!
Fluffyheart looked up at Affinity. “Weren’t you making fun of me?”
“Celestia no! Why would we do that?”
“Because everypony makes fun of me…”
Affinity gave a sad smile, one that assured its recipient that all would be well. Affinity was about to give Fluffyheart a hug, then thought better of it when she looked down at her hooves and realized she had clippers in them.
“What kinds of things do they say?” Wishy Washy asked in a concerned tone.
Fluffyheart had them right where she wanted them. They pitied her! The fools!
Fluffyheart could use this against them! Evil overlords often used the heroes emotions against them. It would be so easy. She could cause devastation to them.
So why didn’t that feel right?
No, for once, instead of being an evil overlord, Fluffyheart decided to be a vulnerable person: herself.
“They used to call me names.”
“Like what?” Affinity asked, leaning in.
“Freakozoid. Weirdo. Their favorite was Gothy McGotherson.”
Fluffyheart sunk further into herself, trying to hide her face. What would people think of an evil overlord that wants to cry.
“That one’s a little fun-”
Affinity looked wide-eyed at Wishy Washy.
“Not funny. Definitely not funny.”
Affinity set down her clippers and hugged Fluffyheart. “There, there.”
Fluffyheart sniffled. She tried not to think too much about how bullies in the past had treated her. It just seemed that everywhere she went she was mocked. Scorned at. Belittled.
So it was nice for someone to show they cared, even if they were faking it.
“You’re lying…” Fluffyheart said.
Affinity gave a sad smile. “Deary if you think I like to see young mares cry-”
“I wasn’t crying.”
“-then you’ve got another thing coming. There is no way that what those bullies did to you was okay.”
Fluffyheart wiped an eye. “Wait, don’t you mares mock people. I heard all the gossip you were talking. Especially Wishy Washy.”
Affinity looked at Wishy Washy. Affinity looked ready to strangle her.
“It wasn’t anything bad, I swear!” Wishy Washy quickly defended herself. “I was saying that it’s awesome that Old McStuffins was still a vet even though she was getting older.”
Affinity looked as though she didn’t quite believe Wishy Washy.
“I swear!”
“Um…” Fluffyheart interjected, “I didn’t actually hear exactly what she was talking about.”
“See!”
“You got lucky,” Affinity stated, waving her clippers around, “You were about to become maneless.”
Fluffyheart smiled. This wasn’t so bad.
Everypony was talking and laughing, having a good time, the works.
Too bad it ended.
“And done!” Affinity said. “Look at the mirror and tell me what you think.”
Fluffyheart did as instructed.
Now! Now was the time to lie! Say that she hated it, say that it was awful. Say-
Fluffyheart spoke, “It’s nice.”
Affinity smiled. “I knew you’d love it.”
And now came time for The Joke. The Joke that was so funny that it would knock the socks off of the mares. Get it! Since ponies don’t wear socks…
That wasn’t the joke.
“How do rabbits travel?”
“Well-” Wishy Washy began.
“I think she’s trying to tell a joke,” Affinity politely pointed out.
No the joke was bad. It would never work.
“How?” The stallion on the couch asked.
It was now or never.
“By hareplanes.”
Everyone stopped speaking for a moment.
Fluffyheart sighed. She knew The Joke was bad, now she would never become friends with them-
Then the room burst out into laughter.
“That’s a good one!” Wishy Washy pounded one of her hooves on the table. “Would be a good use of all this hair.”
“Why haven’t I heard that one before?” Affinity asked. “That seems like something I should’ve already heard.”
A stallion in the corner of the store was chuckling to himself.
Seems ponies liked puns. Who knew.
Fluffyheart looked at Mom, only to find her letting off a weak laugh and shaking her head. Seems she thought the joke was… corny.
It didn’t matter, Fluffyheart was on top of the world. Nothing could stop her! She had achieved the peak of an evil overlord, and forced ponies to suck in and out air at an alarming rate. In short, she had made them laugh!
It was a wonderous feeling, with nothing being able to stop her.
The world was Fluffyheart’s oyster!
“Wait! You need to pay!” Wishy Washy stated.
Oops. Seems Fluffyheart had slowly started walking off.
Now came the hard part.
Fluffyheart approached the front desk.
“That’ll be ten bits!” Wishy Washy all too happily stated.
Right bits. Too bad they didn’t accept Monopony Money.
Although Mom had given Fluffyheart the money, so it wasn’t too bad.
Fluffyheart handed the bits over to Wishy Washy. Wishy Washy counted the bits. She then began scribbling something on a piece of paper.
Mom was smiling when she looked at Fluffyheart. Mom likely was glad that Fluffyheart was being treated well.
And Mom would now hold this experience above her head any time Fluffyheart complained about going anywhere.
That wasn’t a thrilling prospect.
Surprisingly, Fluffyheart didn’t care that much.
Mom checked the clock on the wall, which led to Fluffyheart checking the clock on the wall.
Forty-five minutes had passed since Fluffyheart had entered the store. That was no good!
Fluffyheart had dreams, passions, goals, a book to get. She had better things she could spend her time on…
Fluffyheart shook her head. No, it was just nice to be in the moment.
Wishy Washy handed the piece of paper to Fluffyheart. It was a receipt.
On the receipt there was a little heart. It was almost like they were friends.
Fluffyheart rubbed her hooves in a cynical manner, silently cackling to herself.
Friends! Who would have thought Fluffyheart would be treated as if she were a friend.
Fluffyheart sighed however. It would be nice to be friends with the mare, but Fluffyheart barely knew the mare.
And it would be weird to ask somepony you barely know to be your friends!
Fluffyheart would have to do it the old fashioned way, and get to know Wishy Washy some more.
Fluffyheart thought of questions she could ask.
Why does she even where those hair ties around her wrist?
“Because it makes me look colorful!” Wishy Washy responded.
Ah! Fluffyheart hadn’t intended to actually ask that!
“Oh oh!” Wishy Washy raised her hoof as if she were in a classroom asking a question. “Why do you dye your fur red?”
Fluffyheart swallowed nervously. “Um… It makes me look… evil.”
“Works for me!” Wishy Washy responded.
It was then that Fluffyheart noticed something amazing. They had lollipops!
A spherical miracle! There were blue ones, and green ones, yellow ones, and purples ones. Some that tasted of strawberry and some that tasted of blueberry.
They all looked very delicious.
But would Fluffyheart have to pay to have one.
Oh no! Fluffyheart hadn’t brought money.
She could steal one. But what would the ponies at the store think!
An evil overlord takes what they want, Fluffyheart remembered reading that in one of her books. But thievery was heinous!
But to be an evil overlord was to be hated. And so Fluffyheart took one.
And immediately asked: “Can I have one?”
Wishy Washy smiled. “Sure, go right ahead!”
“How much are they?”
“Free. We like to give them to the younger customers. It helps them feel better about getting their mane cuts.”
Success!
Fluffyheart had tried a different route for an evil overlord. She should be praised and admired for taking a forthright path.
And she hated how it felt. Being good didn’t feel right.
So Fluffyheart took another one.
Wishy Washy laughed. “Fine, I guess you can have another.”
Success!
Perhaps she could take another.
Fluffyheart’s hoof hovered over the lollipops…
Wishy Washy gave a flat stare at Fluffyheart.
…And Fluffyheart’s hoof slowly retracted.
Whatever, Fluffyheart didn’t actually want more than two. It wasn’t like she wanted to try all the flavors. She really didn’t, honest. Honest…
Mom got up and approached Fluffyheart. “Ready to go?”
Fluffyheart showed her prize to Mom.
Mom sighed. “Of course you took some candy. And two no less.”
Mom, rather than dwelling on Fluffyheart’s childish behavior, began walking to the door. Fluffyheart followed.
A unicorn mare opened the door to the establishment and held it open. Fluffyheart peeked out the door and noticed a pegasus stallion and pegasus colt just outside, the stallion dragging the colt inside by the hoof.
“NO!” The colt said, nearly crying. “I don’t wanna get my mane cut!”
“We’ve been over this,” the stallion said, pulling the colt somewhat roughly, “The manedresser is that not scary. You’ll be fine.”
Eventually, the stallion succeeded in getting the colt inside the store.
That’s when the colt began crying.
WAH! WAAAAAAH! The crying was loud. Unpleasant.
Everypony hated to see a colt crying in front of them.
Wishy Washy tried talking to the foal to calm him down, but it didn’t help. The foal kept crying.
Mane cuts were scary. Mane cuts were itchy. Fluffyheart understood the colt’s fear all too well. She had lived it.
Fluffyheart looked to the lollipops in her hand. Blueberry and strawberry.
Being an evil overlord did mean that she should recruit henchponies to aid her.
But did she really want to do it?
Fluffyheart looked at the lollipops in hoof, then to the crying colt.
She sighed. Goodbye lollipop.
Fluffyheart approached the foal and held out the best lollipop she had, the strawberry one.
The colt took it.
“I know it’s scary getting a mane cut.” Fluffyheart said. “But after your mane cut you can get a lollipop! And there’s a bunch of cool flavors that I haven’t even tried yet.”
The colt wiped his eyes. He was still crying, but it seems he was calming down.
“Really?” The colt asked.
“Really. But if you’re good then you can get two of them!”
“Okay. I’ll be good.”
The ponies in Hair Extrodinare let out a collective sigh, glad that the crying had finally stopped.
“I’m proud of you,” Mom said.
Fluffyheart and Mom left the store.
Fluffyheart would come to wonder what the strawberry flavor tasted like for the next month.