//------------------------------//
// The thing about sails... 
// Story: The Anti-Friendship Lesson 
// by Ezekiel Namuh 
//------------------------------//

'Looking at this vast mass of apple trees, I realized something. I had something more than just my toque, but a better idea of where I am. The Everfree couldn't have been that big, and since I saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon back there, I'm probably near ponyville, and at least in Equestria. But now I'm positive.

Come on, there's a barn-ish building over there and an outright sign showing me where I am. At least I think that sign means this is Sweet Apple Acres. It's only ten feet in front of me and I can just barely make out the sign's inscription. Was my vision always this... no, it had to be the writing. It's just a bunch of wavy lines, that's all. Completely indistinguishable from gibberish if you didn't understand it. Like newspaper print in animated TV shows like the one I'm in. Or Japanese.

'*Sigh*' Well this is an interesting situation. I'm basically a paper cut-out who can't read, has no idea on how to use magic, and no personal connections in a world pretty much depending on them. And I thought this could've been simple. I had my ship's route, and the sail just had to catch a different breeze. The only thing I'm missing is amnesia and I'll be...'

Would amnesia help here? Actually, yes. I've got it! I'll pretend I've lost my memory! Then it'll make sense that I know barely anything about this world, and if I say something they don't understand, I'll just play it off as an inside joke.

I'll save that for when I need it, which might be quite often considering who I'm sharing a world with.

Anypony would be concerned if there was an alien in a pony's body, so anyone with a lot of power would probably have me put in jail and questioned as if I was here to invade. Being studied by a foreign government was generally something I wanted to avoid. And since I don't know of any portals to Earth just lying around, it might be best If I just stay out of the way, especially of any royalty.

The elements in general all present their own little problems for me. Twilight would catch on quicker than the others, and if she did it's only a matter of time before I'm strapped to a chair next to a bunch of surgical equipment. Applejack would be the one to find me, considering I'm right next to her family's farm which might be my only source of food for a while. I might be able to convince Fluttershy to stay quiet if she met me, but in order to do that she needs to not see me as a threat to either her, her friends, or any animals. Rarity would have the most social influence, so if she's concerned, essentially everyone else is concerned. I might have to simply trick Rainbow Dash in some way. She would be the hardest to outright lose, what with the whole "fastest flyer in Equestria" and all that. Pinkie Pie might not even be believed by her friends about the whole "Shapeshifting alien" bit. Knowing her, she'd probably just find out naturally. I'd never be able to do anything to lose her though, and after a while the "Welcome to Ponyville party" invitation cards would start to say "Get your flank over here this instant!". And all of them at the same time? I'm basically screwed in the "don't get found" department at that point.

The only other pony I would worry about would be Lyra. Even if my knowledge on the shows world and it's characters itself is somewhat limited due to my small pool of episodes to pull from, I've hung out around Zach long enough to know about S.M.I.L.E. and what bronies think about Lyra, so putting those two together with me would be absolute chaos.

At this point, I'll just make my way back to the divide between the Everfree and orchard. The only other thing I could do to sell it would be to change my name, as "Ty" doesn't exactly scream Equestrian or Earthen. If I wanted Equestrian I could easily think of something. I guess I could name myself after someone for an Earth name. All I have is a toque and bad luck to work with on either one. Really, I don't know if I should lean heavily into one or the-

"So, why did you want us out here, again?"

I froze. I'd recognize that raspy voice any time. Slowly turning I saw several ponies down by the barn. Small patches of orange, yellow, and cyan, along with a larger red one. I quickly figured out who they all were.

"The paints runnin' thin and the ladders busted. Now, ain't that right Big Mac?"

"*Sigh* eeyup."

'Gee, thanks captain exposition.'

I could barely make out Fluttershy saying, "Well I would be glad to help."

Luckily nopony had seen where I was, so I started to retreat into the brush.

Keyword, 'luckily'.

I don't normally associate myself with that word.

"Hey, did you see something over there?" I heard Rainbow Dash ask.

Applejack replied with, "Yeah, it kinda looked like Rarity."

"But why would Rarity be in a forest, let alone the Everfree?" Rainbow Dash returned.

"What if there's a problem?" Fluttershy suggested.

"Then we had better go solve it!" Applejack said back.

This could prove an issue. They made their way over to where I was, but I had nothing to distract them with. Well, almost nothing.

With a sigh, I started to pull off my toque, then threw it over towards a tree.

"Was that her?" Fluttershy thought out loud, "It kind of looked like her mane."

"Let's see," Applejack told her.

'Perfect. Now let's just back up slowly and-'

CRUNCH

"EEP!" Fluttershy squeaked.

Startled, I whipped around and saw I'd stepped on a dry branch. SCREW YOU, CLICHES!

"W-W-Was that her?" Fluttershy asked the others.

Nopony answered.

"Hey, da' any of ya'll get the feeling we're being watched?" questioned Applejack.

"Eeyup."

'This could be bad.'

"It feels like it's coming from over here," Rainbow Dash suggested, heading directly toward my bush.

'And it's bad. Thank you cartoon logic! Very cool! Now they'll be here and thinking I'm Pinkie Pie!

Wait... That might actually be a good thing.'

As though nothing was wrong, I slowly stepped out of a bush, looking at everypony with an unrealistically large grin on my face.

Applejack and the others looked surprised. "Oh! Howdy there, Pinkie. You feeling okay? That's a really small smile on yer face. How'd you get all white anyway, it's not really your color."

Unrealistically for me anyway.

"Wait, that's not Pinkie Pie, Applejack. Her Cutie Mark is different," Rainbow dash responded. This made me lose the grin further, and start my way back into the bush.

"Hey, now wait just a minute," Applejack said.

"Uh... hi," I did my best to answer calmly, though their shocked expressions showed me they weren't calm.

Just then, a sound rang in my ears. No, not a sound. This was more, musical. Oh, please don't tell me I have to deal with musical numbers.

Apparently, Applejack noticed my confused expression. "Um, you alright there sugarcube?"

This, at the time, was a bit too much to process as the music started up. "NNNOPE!"

"I'd rather"

I don't know why, or more importantly how, but I automatically knew what to do. The words just came out, even though not talking might have been more beneficial. I still know how to play the cards I'm dealt, and I felt the song felt the same way.

Every time one of them was a bit too close, whether because they just wanted to ask who I was or whatever comic book randomness Rainbow Dash was expecting, the words decided to help me out with some surprising nonsense they had to stop and consider.

The words felt perfectly designed to help me out, even if smacking into a tree didn't. That was what caused me to get cornered between it and Big Macintosh. Using the lyrics to my advantage, or the other way around, I did the first thing I thought of. I can't say it was the best idea, but casually calling Big Mac "Dad" was just enough to confuse him enough to zip by him, though he didn't seem to keep following after that for some reason.

Not much else seemed to help at the time, and all I could do was continue as the three that were left kept chasing, more or less out of concern. "Concern" actually sums up how I felt when the first to catch up to me was Fluttershy. Something for the cartoon, probably.

"Um, sir, do you think we can stop and just talk?" She asked me.

"Oh, I'd love to. But I don't think your friends would like that idea. Maybe you could ask them?"

"I think that's a lovely idea," Fluttershy said as she started to drift back to her friends.

'Perfect. Now I just slow down and convince them to let me leave once they stop.'





Applejack and Rainbow Dash couldn't believe what had happened in the last thirty seconds. Fluttershy caught up to this random pony who ran from us for no reason. After all, what's strange about musical numbers in the Everfree? We've all had one at some point, right? And then all she does is talk to them and come back here asking them to stop so we can come to an agreement.

"Honestly Fluttershy, it's probably just a trick," Rainbow Dash told her after seeing what had happened.

Applejack added, "Yeah, it's probably best if y'all jus' head back, we'll take care of this."

"Alright then," Fluttershy added before leaving.





"Oh, well. I offered."

I hadn't even noticed the music I had hit a split in the song, but immediately after it reminded me by forcing some lyrics out of me again, this time managing to flash by Applejack after convincing her we shared the same name. Now all that's left is Rainbow Dash. Unfortunately, that's where the song ended, so I have to do the improvising now.

She was just a few feet behind me. I was continuing my efforts to utilize our relatively thin frames by dashing through small sections of vines, upturned roots, and thick foliage, yet she was still gaining on me. Rainbow seemed like most of her practice was held in open areas, mainly focused on sheer speed and stunts. She may have the ability to do tricks and travel extremely fast in a single direction, but this is a woodland filled to the brim with obstacles. That's my specialty.

Despite that, those short bursts of speed were just too much. I needed an idea, and I think I've got it. I suddenly jerked to the left, still failing to lose her.

'Come on, where is it?' I looked around until I finally found it. Right in front of me was the river.

SPLASH

It worked just as I thought, pegasus wings didn't exactly do well in water, and she refused to go in it. I couldn't hold back a grin. She started to hover towards me.





"Look-"

"Yeah, right. Now you're trying to talk to me. Maybe you should just stop since apparently I'm your enemy," that's when they stopped when they saw the concerned look on my face. "There's a waterfall right behind me, isn't there?"

I nodded.

"*Sigh* Just my luck," right behind them was a large drop.

The pony jumped. They didn't make it to the ledge, they just jumped.

"Wait!" I shouted at the falling mystery pony, but as I lurched forward towards the ledge he had already disappeared. I couldn't see him over the edge and I had no idea where he could have gone. He wouldn't have hit the bottom by now.

"That's gonna be hard to forget," I thought out loud, before heading back to find the others.





Unseen by Rainbow Dash, Ty was holding onto an indent in the cliff with his forehooves.

"Phew, thank you Henry-" he started to say before realizing he shouldn't be able to hold on to this rocky section. He started to lose his grip, and almost immediately after he lost it entirely.

It was at this moment that he knew. He screwed up.