//------------------------------// // (Bonus chapter) Target: Starlight Glimmer // Story: How About You Eat It? // by ThePinkedWonder //------------------------------// Where was she? I combed Ponyville after I left Twilight’s castle to look for Starlight, but she was AWOL. Spike didn’t know, the gang didn’t know, and even Trixie didn’t know where she went! The risk of eating Twilight’s cookies couldn’t have freaked “Starie” out so much that she fled Ponyville without a word! Something was up. Chrysalis still wanted Starlight’s head on a silver platter and was at large–something I try to avoid thinking about. Maybe–no, that couldn’t be it. My paranoia struck again. Like Twilight, Starlight has taken the role of an “Equestrian big sister” for me too, and the thought that she might be…NO! Running around Ponyville like a madman was getting zilch done, so I decided to make a beeline back to the castle, and busted through the front door. Maybe Starlight already returned and I missed her. Why didn’t I check there sooner? “Starlight?! Are you here?!” “Yeah, I’m in my room! Is something wrong?” Whew, what a relief! My paranoia could take a hike for now.  Wait–the cookies! I forgot why I was even looking for her! “No, nothing’s wrong, but I want to ask you something! Stay in your room and I’ll be right there!” Carrying the plate of Twilight’s cookies I had picked up from my room, I walked inside Starlight’s room. She sat on her bed while working on a new kite lying in front of her, and a few new ones lay by her bed. That pony sure likes kites. “Did Twilight tell you about these cookies she baked?” Starie lifted her head to face me, and nodded. “She did. She asked Spike to test one, but they smelt horrible! I ran off with Spike after he lied about Rarity needing him, so Twilight couldn’t try to ask me to do it.” “Did you talk to her after that?” Starlight shook her head. “No. I’m not even sure she’s still in the castle.” Wonderful. My target was clueless. Easy pickings! “In that case, you don’t know what you missed!” “What?” “She asked me to taste them, and–” “Oh no!” Starie yelled, her hooves slapping onto her cheeks. “What was I thinking?! I’m so sorry I left without warning you Twilight might–” “Don’t worry, it’s fine.” Couldn’t let her start feeling guilty, especially with what was coming. “I’m glad you took off without warning me, because these cookies are good.” “What?! Twilight’s cookies?! Are you serious?!” “No. They are delicious! Twi could be the richest pony in Equestria if she mass-produced and sold these cookies!” “Whoa. They really are delicious?” “Would I lie to you?” I asked with the most innocent smile I could summon. Even sheepishly scraped the floor with my foot for extra innocence points. “Yes, for pranks.” “But–” I raised a finger; I only needed one hand to hold my plate. But she had a point, so I lowered it. “Okay, then would I lie any other time?” “Well,” Starlight answered as her eyes rolled thoughtfully upward, “I can be…sensitive. You might lie if you were worried about hurting my feel–” “Starlight, you know what I mean!” “Hee hee, I do. Sorry.” She rolled off her bed and trotted to me. “So, these cookies really are tasty, huh?” “I can’t even describe it, but let’s put it this way: when Twilight ate her first one, it left her speechless.” “Wow.” “And knowing Spike, when he finds out how good they are, he might eat them all at once. You better chow on one while you still can.” “If you’re serious, I’ll try one. Here goes nothing.” Starlight floated a cookie off my plate and took a bite. Thought she’d hesitate at least a little. But hold on–where were the gagging and spitting? Did she toss the rest of the cookie in her mouth while smiling?! “You were right! This is delicious!” “IT IS?!” I slapped my cheek and cleared my throat – had to focus all my willpower just to calm myself – and asked, “I mean, uh, it is?” “Well, yeah. You said they are, so why are you so surprised?” “Surprised? I-I’m not surprised! I, uh, thought you’d have a…stronger reaction.” Starlight puzzlingly tilted her head sideways. “You thought I might sing a song over it or something? Equestrians can’t resist singing when we’re in the mood, but that cookie wasn’t good enough for a song.” She straightened her head, her lips curling up into a sly grin. “Oh, and as Pinkie said last Hearth’s Warming’s Eve, we are gonna get you to sing your first song someday!” Pinkie just had to open the singing request floodgates. No one cared about my singing “skills”, not even the Princess of Curiosity, till Pinkie opened her big mouth about how I never sang. Now they want a performance! “I…forget it. But, if you want a song out of me, prepare for a LONG wait!” The singing-lover giggled, then I gawked at the plate of cookies still in my grasp. How? Why? How?! Those things tasted so bad, merely having one in her mouth for a second sent Twilight flying to the bathroom! Then again, maybe that wacky ingredient becomes tasty after sitting out for a while? Starlight’s taste in food couldn’t be that different from Twilight’s. I couldn’t believe I was picking up a cookie. I forced myself to not breathe through my nose during the quickest bite ever. Bad idea. A pure, raw, repugnant flavor swarmed my taste buds like killer bees, and I spit that cookie out pronto! What Twilight use as a base for her ingredient?! Feces?!  My stomach didn’t care what was in those cookies, but its effects: the poor organ twisted. A sinking wave of nausea ordered me to run. Which I did, out Starlight’s room, down the castle’s halls, and to the bathroom. I came inches from crashing into the bathroom’s door before I turned on the brakes to open it. Once in front of the toilet, I finally let my stomach turn inside out and went the unofficial “number three.”  Oh man. It was the semi-sweet potato muffin incident all over again. At last, my stomach finished having a temper tantrum, and I rubbed my head to ease the bedroom’s spinning. Barfing can have a habit of making things spin around you. Couldn’t forget to massage my now-sour, jelly-feeling belly too. Oh, and I definitely couldn’t forget about washing my mouth over the sink, vigorously, to get the remaining taste of that cookie out. With my surroundings only slightly spinning and my mouth feeling kinda clean, I staggered back to and into Starlight’s room, enduring the echoing laughter cutting through the halls. You got one guess who was laughing. I didn’t notice that I dropped the plate of cookies right before I ran, but since Starlight had it beside her, she must have caught it. “Your running speed has improved! You should enter the next Running of the Le–” “Never mind the ‘running’ jokes, wise mare.” I pointed at the wise mare. “What did you do?” She let out a mock gasp, laying a hoof on her chest. “Me? ‘Do’?” “Yeah, you, and do! This has your hoofprints all over it!” “Well, I might have come back to the castle to give you a warning. Then I might have secretly listened in when Twilight tried to get you to eat a cookie, and I might have anticipated you’d try to prank me with them. Next, I might have gotten more cookies from Sugarcube Corner, and might have cast a spell to make them look and smell like Twilight’s cookies.” The repeater of “might haves” pulled part of her blanket off her bed. It uncovered a second plate of cookies that looked just like Equestria’s worst-tasting cookies. This just wasn’t fair! My mouth could only emit baffled stutters. Starie levitated off her bed with her magic with a huge, know-it-all smirk few can nail better, and petted me on my head with a hoof. I growled, but I think she likes it when I growl during her pets. Although I’ll admit her counter-prank was executed all but flawlessly. She ended her levitation, and floated a cookie off the original plate in her magical grasp. “But, to show I’m a good sport, this cookie is one of the disguised ones from Sugarcube Corner, so take it. I promise I wasn’t lying about them being good.” “Really?” “Really. They might even help settle your stomach.” “In that case,  thanks, Star–” I gasped. Nearly fell for it! “Oh, no you don’t!” “What do I don’t?” “I bet that’s another of Twilight’s cookies, so I’m gonna take one that’s on the other plate! Ha!” “Darn it,” she said with an outwitted frown. “I almost had you.” I strutted to Starlight’s bed and snatched one of the cookies from the second plate. I waved it in her direction and said, “It was a nice try, but you gotta wake up pretty early in the morning to nail me with the same prank twice!“ I bit into the cookie–no! It was one of Twilight’s cookies! I coughed it out on the spot, but my stomach twisted again. I obeyed another wave of nausea’s order to run, sprinted back to the bathroom, and went number three again. Well, sorta. Barely anything came out. Still washed out my mouth with the prior zealous effort though. I floundered out of the bathroom; laughter from a certain kite-liking unicorn further rubbed in how I got outsmarted again! Turned out I was easy pickings. Once I made it back to Starie’s bedroom – she was snickering to herself with a hoof covering her mouth – I said, “I’ll wake up at 6 AM from now on.” “Good idea.” She hopped off her bed, carrying one of the plates of cookies in magic, and petted me a second time. I growled for the second time. They may be playful pets, but I still hate them! But wait–an idea popped in my noggin. I teetered on my feet while I slowly, dazedly, wobbled my head. Starie’s smile sunk like a rock as her eyes enlarged. “W-what’s wrong?! Oh no, I shouldn’t have tricked you into eating these cookies and I’m so sorry–for real this time! Just hang in there and I’ll–” Ha, got her! I snatched a cookie from the floating plate and shoved it in that mare’s mouth and stopped my wobbling. Her pupils shrank, and she spat out that cookie out in a flash. Glorious, simply glorious. Starlight looked like Twilight performing the wiping her mouth/spitting out stray cookie crumbs combo. Even more glorious. I had no idea which cookie was which, but it was either take a guess or let that chance slip by. “Hey! That–” Starlight’s stomach grumbled –”oh, Celestia, out of my way!” She dashed out of the room in a light-purple blur and gust of wind. Glad my reflexes let me catch the plate in mid-air, and I laughed at the following moaning and heaving, which I’m pretty sure came from inside the bathroom. My stomach was still tender, but laughing felt too good to care. Knew pretending to be sick would make Starie enter “big sister” mode and drop her guard. The moaning ceased, and I waited for hoofsteps to approach. They came, and soon afterward the maker of the steps stumbled into her room. “If you’re waking up at 6 AM, I’m waking up at 5:59 AM.” “Good idea.” I reached out to pet her head, making her growl. Payback is fair play. After I cut out the petting, Starlight commented, “For a princess and headmare, I’m starting to think Twilight has too much free time. What do you think?” “Probably. She needs either more books or a boyfriend, so she’ll be bored less often. You all right?” “Yeah.” Starie smiled, her more usual cheerful one. “But that was good acting you did before. I really thought you were about to faint.” “Same for how you got me, twice. We’re way better at acting than Princess Celestia.” “We are, but it’s not hard to outdo her in acting.” We broke out in laughter. I’ll never forget what we went through when Twi put on a play at the school and made Celestia the star. Let’s just say the Princess of the Day shouldn’t give up her crown to be an actress anytime soon. “Oh! I got an idea!” Starlight glanced toward the plate in my hands. She put on another smirk. “You wanna get Spike to eat one of Twilight’s ‘delicious’ cookies the way you tried to trick me into eating one?” I stroked my cheek. “Well…part of me don’t want him to suffer eating the all-time worst-tasting cookies. Then again, he might feel a little left out if he didn’t join the party.” I nodded in agreement, my own smirk building. “I’m game. Let’s do it!” “Great! When we find him, I’ll pick out the cookie. My spell had the good ones’ appearance slightly differ from the bad ones to let me tell them apart. Do you kn–” The castle’s front door creaked open. That must be either Twilight, if she had left, or Spike. “Ten to one that’s Spike. If it is, let’s have some fun with our favorite dragon,” I said and stepped out of the room. Starie followed, carrying the cookies with her, and we waited. The small figure known as “Spike” eventually came into view in the hallway. Showtime! “Spike, there you are!” Starlight raised a greeting hoof. “We were about to look for you!” “You were?” “Yep! As you know, the Princess of Baking baked some cookies.” Spike shuddered. “Calling them ‘cookies’ is probably giving them too much credit. I’m glad you finally found Starlight, but did Twilight ask you to taste one? I ran off so fast, I forgot to warn you! Sorry!” “I’m glad you forgot to give me a heads-up, because they are delicious!” His mouth dropped. “WHAT?!” “Trust me, the idea stunned us too, but tasting is believing.” I motioned to the cookies in Starlight’s magical grip. “So give one a try.” Starlight floated a cookie to him. He picked it from her magic and stared at it, flipping it over a few times, while grimacing.  “Cover your nose if you have to,” I suggested.   With a deep breath, Spike covered his nose and bit into the cookie. I was evil for this. I knew it. But on the other hand, Spike is my “Equestrian little brother” so that means I gotta mess with him sometimes. “Whoa!” Spike said, with a smile! “Bad smell or not, that is pretty good!” “IT IS?!” Starlight and I shouted. My eyes remained locked on Spike, but I was quite sure Starlight’s mouth was agape–mine sure was. “Yeah!” Spike wolfed down the rest of the cookie. “I wouldn’t call it delicious, but I could get used to eating these if Twilight bakes them again.” He fiddled with his claws and took a step forward. “Are you going to eat the rest of those, or, heh heh, may I?” “You may, and take them all. Starie and I are…full.” Starlight floated the plate to Spike, and he walked off while chomping on more cookies. Had no clue on what to make of that. My partner in crime and I switched between staring toward the retreating dragon and each other.  Life in Equestria is weird sometimes. “Starie, did Spike like those things?” “Yep.” “You did give him one of Twilight’s cookies, right?” “Yep.” “Should we lie down in case those cookies put us both in a state of delirium?” “Definitely yep.”