A cool autumn breeze was blowing through Vanhoover as Barrier trotted through the city, his saddlebags stuffed with freshly bought groceries.
Taking in a deep breath, Barrier looked at the ponies walking the streets. One would have no idea that just one week prior, a draconequus had broken free and unleashed chaos throughout all of Equestria. Barrier recalled how he had to ride half of an oversized orange while his cadets regaled him with how they were baked into a giant pizza.
“Hey there, Barrier!” The charcoal unicorn’s ears stood at attention as he saw Verdant running up to his side. “How’s your day going?”
“Pretty well, Verdant,” Barrier casually replied as he looked at his saddlebags. “We should have enough vegetables to last the week. I even got some tomatoes that should make a good pasta sauce.”
“Excellent,” Verdant said as he rolled his right shoulder. “Things got pretty intense at the community center. These two mares, Triple Crown and Moonshot, were having a crazy intense tennis match.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t that intense,” Barrier scoffed.
“I’m not kidding, the building’s now got a ton of holes in it. It had to be evacuated and a building inspector’s been brought in to see if it needs to be condemned,” Verdant stated. “You know what’s the real crazy thing? Neither of them were earth ponies. Moonshot’s a pegasus and Triple Crown’s a unicorn!”
“Hmm… Either that’s rather impressive or the building’s made of breadsticks, hoofpaint and shellac,” Barrier said as the two of them saw the manor’s front gate up ahead.
The pair were suddenly taken aback as the gate was knocked down by a flying blanket encased on a magenta light that was being clung to with a living chain made of Winter Gem, Hat Trick, Swiftsword, Iron Forge, Fleetfeather and Wind Whistler. Eventually, the blanket was pulled from Gem’s grip, making the pony chain collapse to the ground below.
“Fleet, what in Tartarus is going on?” Barrier exclaimed as he rushed over to Fleetfeather’s side.
“I have no idea!” Fleet said as she got to her hooves before rushing to Windy’s side and making sure she was unharmed. “One moment, I was reading a book to Windy on the couch when suddenly, the blanket starts glowing and we’re sent flying before it takes off!”
“Do you think maybe Discord’s back again?” Just as Forge finished speaking, the sound of glass shattering started to fill the street as blankets started to shoot through many of the windows that dotted Starflower Street.
“I don’t think it’s Discord,” Hatty said as he took to the air, seeing many of the blankets flying towards a single point. “Guys, they’re all heading to the center of town!”
“Windy!” Fleet barked as she flew up to meet Hatty. “Run to High Steaks’ immediately. We’ll try to see what’s going on.”
Wind Whistler gave a salute before she darted off as Barrier raised an eyebrow towards the pink-maned pegasus. “I don’t recall you being a higher rank than me, Fleet.”
“I really liked that blanket, dammit!” Fleet roared, taking Barrier and the privates aback before flying off towards the source of what was now a swirling vortex of blankets.
With a sigh, Barrier started to charge after the cycloptic mare. The privates quickly started to follow along after him.
***
In a matter of minutes, the band of former soldiers made their way through the crowd of stunned ponies to the center of town. The townsfolk were chattering at the sight before them.
Above the fountain in the center of the plaza was a violet coated unicorn mare with a frazzled indigo mane with pink and purple streaks. Her horn glowed violently with magenta light as her twitching eyes glowed with white light.
“Twilight Sparkle!” Barrier barked as he teleported closer to her as some of the blankets flying above them were flying into a formation as glowing needles and thread quickly started to bind the sheets together.
“Oh, hello, Barrier!” Twilight gently floated to the ground with a manic grin. “I’m so glad to see you! I’m here to fix your problem!”
“Problem? What are you talking about?” Barrier’s muzzle scrunched in confusion as a mad giggle came from the violet mare.
“Well, I tried to find a friendship problem in Ponyville, but I couldn’t find a single one! I thought I was doomed to be failed back to magic kindergarten, but then I remembered I have family and friends in Vanhoover with a massive problem that needs fixing!” Twilight’s left ear jittered while a maniacal grin formed on her face once more.
“And… And what would that be, Twilight?” Barrier cautiously asked as he took a single step closer, his housemates getting into positions around her in case things got ugly.
“Why, Vanhoover winters of course!” Twilight nearly shouted as her magic kept sewing the many blankets together into a chaotic quilt. “Vanhoover gets the harshest cold and more snow than anywhere else in Equestria for winter, and thus the longest winter wrap-ups in all of Equestria! So I decided to take care of that issue before it could even come up!”
Twilight giggled madly as she pointed a hoof up towards her colossal sewing project. “You see, I’m going to make the biggest blanket Equestria has ever seen! With this blanket covering Vanhoover, you’ll all be toasty and warm without a speck of snow to be shoveled off! Isn’t it wonderful?!”
“I’m certain your intentions are noble, Twilight, though your plan seems to me more than a little lacking.” Barrier’s words made one of her eyes twitch. “I suggest you put the blankets down and we talk things out like sane, rational adul—”
“NO!” Twilight roared, causing a magenta shockwave that knocked down the ponies in the area. As Barrier tried to get back to his hooves, he found his body engulfed by the mad mare’s magic. His forelegs became pinned to his sides and he was lifted into the air.
“I’m not going back to magic kindergarten! I’m going to fix Vanhoover’s friendship problem and none of your are going to stop me!” A fierce wind started to roar during her angry shouting.
“Somepony… stop her…” Barrier winced as he tried to struggle out of her powerful binding, but even with all his might, he wasn’t able to even move a millimeter.
“On it!” Verdant reached into his saddlebags before tossing something at the violet mare. In its speed, Barrier could only see the spherical object whizzing past as it approached Twilight’s head.
With her focus on the sewing in the sky, Twilight was caught off guard by the round object that quickly planted itself on her horn.
The sudden impact caused her magic to suddenly stop, dropping Barrier to the ground and the blankets to drift downward.
As Barrier looked up towards Twilight, both he and the unicorn mare were rather perplexed by what was now planted on the end of her horn; a tennis ball.
“What the—” Before Twilight could gather her thoughts, the sound of an explosion rang out as something struck her. In an instant, she was bound up in a collection of knotted ropes.
“Y’know, I wish I got used for stuff other than my knot cannon.” A voice made a chill run down Barrier’s spine as he saw Pinkie Pie, the other element bearers, and Spike emerging from an alleyway. Pinkie was rolling along a large colorful cannon as Spike ran up to Twilight’s side.
“Twilight, we need to stop this! Pretty soon, Pri—” Spike was interrupted as a bright flash of golden light appeared above the fountain. Once the light started to fade, several ponies gasped at the sight of an alabaster alicorn looking down at her. The large crowd quickly started to bow.
“Twilight Sparkle—” Princess Celestia was interrupted as a large white blanket with red polka dots landed on her head. “We need to talk.”
As the alicorn pulled the blanket off her head, Swiftsword trotted up to Verdant’s side. “Excellent work, my friend. I never would have thought of using a tennis ball to neutralize a unicorn’s magic.”
“Uhh, yeah… That was my plan that whole time,” Verdant said as his eyes quickly shifted from side to side. “And definitely not to throw a flashbang grenade that I stole from our time in the empire… Heh… That would be crazy… Eh heh… heh.”
***
After night had fallen, the element bearers were gathered in Barrier’s living room along with Princess Celestia and the mayor of Vanhoover. She was a yellow-light brown unicorn with a long, curly mane. On her flank was the image of a short wooden hammer. It was fitting for a mare named Chestnut Gavel.
“So, in the end, Twilight doesn’t need to send a friendship report to you every week and we can also write them. Right, Princess?” Rainbow Dash asked as Celestia took a sip from a cup of tea.
“That is correct, Rainbow Dash,” the alabaster mare answered as she set the teacup down on the silver tray Verdant was holding before turning to the violet coated mare with a sullen, ashamed look plastered all over her face.
“Twilight… I wish I knew before this how much pressure you felt you were under. I just hope this doesn’t happen again.” Celestia gently brushed Twilight’s back with one of her large wings.
“Thank you, Princess,” Twilight said as a tear fell down her cheek. After taking a deep breath, she turned her attention to the rather stern looking mayor. “Is there anything I can do to make up for what I’ve done?”
“First and foremost, you’ll be billed for the damages you’ve caused,” Chestnut Gavel said. “Both for what was done to the blankets and the many windows of the city.”
“That’s understandable. I'm glad it’s just a fee,” Twilight said before sighing in relief.
“Oh, I’m afraid you misunderstand, Miss Sparkle. That’s just for the damages. The punishment for your actual crime is much worse.” The mayor’s words made a cold sweat form on Twilight’s brow as she swallowed.
“Now hold on now,” Applejack said as she stepped up in front of Chestnut. “Is takin’ all those blankets really worth a worse punishment than a fine? She returned them all and they weren’t even that damaged.”
“I’m afraid this is far more complicated than you know, Miss Apple,” Chestnut Gavel said as she brushed past the farm pony. “Vanhoover has always been known for its harsh winters, ever since its founding. Because of this, the theft of blankets, A.K.A., grand theft blanket, is treated far more harshly here than in any other city in Equestria.”
“Twilight,” Celestia said with a hint of fear in her voice. “I know what the punishment is and if you wish, I’d be willing to grant you a full pardon for this.”
“I… While I do appreciate the offer, Princess, I believe I should face the consequences for my actions.” Twilight’s response made Celestia wince before the lavender unicorn faced the mayor. “Mayor Chestnut Gavel, I’m willing to face whatever punishment you’ll bestow.”
“Very well then,” the mayor said just before a knocking came from the front door. “I believe that should be what’s required for this punishment.”
Barrier teleported to the front door and opened it up. With the door opened, he spotted Erica with a wagon being pulled by her tail. The contents of the wagon were completely covered by a gray tarp.
“Hey, Barrier. The Mayor asked for an express order from my dad. Can I come in?”
Barrier stepped aside as Erica and the wagon inside, pulling all the way to the living room.
“Perfect timing, Miss Sorae. Now we can carry out the sentencing immediately.” The mayor’s horn began to glow with amber colored light that appeared on one of the corners of the tarp. “Are you ready for this, Miss Sparkle?”
Twilight uncomfortably swallowed as she approached the wagon. “I am, Mayor.”
With a strong tug, Chestnut Gavel pulled the tarp off the wagon, revealing ten large jars of mayonnaise.
“Your punishment, Miss Sparkle, is to eat the contents of all these jars,” Gavel said as Twilight’s face started to turn pale. “As has been done since antiquity, the punishment for grand theft blanket is for the convicted to eat ten jars of mayonnaise. Mr. Range, bring Miss Sparkle a spoon.”
“Urgh… this is going to suck.” Twilight muttered as her magic picked up one of the mayonnaise jars.
***
Over the course of three hours, Twilight slowly emptied all the jars of mayonnaise. Not long after, the mayor and princess left the manor, followed by Twilight tasting all the mayonnaise a second time as she occupied Barrier’s bathroom.
As she and her friends took the train back to Ponyville, Twilight swore a hatred on mayonnaise. Her hatred of the condiment would be passed on through other unicorns for centuries to come.
“Hey, Rarity, Fluttershy,” Pinkie said as she stood up in her seat. “What do you think that you didn’t get a speaking part in this chapter?”
“Chapter? What are you talking about, Pinkie?” Twilight asked, clear queasiness in her voice.
“Oh, nothing.” Pinkie sing-songed before winking at someone her friends couldn’t see.