The autobiography project was going… acceptably. Adagio was willing to give Shimmer’s little herd of pony-contaminated humans that much. Not all of them were helping, but she didn't want all of them involved anyway. Some had roughly as much brainpower as Sonata on a good day—not that Adagio wanted to waste any more thought on that little traitor—and the one with the hat might not actually know how to write. But between Shimmer, the yellow one, and the purple one’s doppleganger, she had a tolerably competent team of co-authors.
Moreover, they had enough participants that they could rotate whenever Adagio got to be too much for whoever was helping her at the moment. Yes, she supposed it would be in her interest to be a bit less abrasive, but she could only hold back so much when working with her murderers.
“The country was in such dire straits, we barely needed to do anything," said Adagio, lounging on the current one's bed as she waxed nostalgic. "We had people fighting one another just so they could claim credit for the archduke’s assassination.”
Twilight Sparkle had turned a fascinating shade of pale lilac, notepad and pencil limp in her hands. If she hadn't been sitting, her knees might have given out. “That’s… equal parts fascinating and horrible.”
Besides, if Adagio did play nice, she'd miss the looks on their faces. Those were their own reward. Yes, this Twilight Sparkle wasn't the one who'd helped disempower her, but petty revenge on what amounted to her twin was good enough. For now.
Adagio rolled so she was smirking at Sparkle with her chin resting on the back of her hand. “You said that about the last four stories.”
“Because it keeps applying.”
“Flatterer.” Adagio winked and kissed the air for good measure.
Sparkle just sighed and put pencil back to paper. A shame; her fidgeting blushes were even more entertaining than her fear response. “So, you’re claiming responsibility for World War II as well?”
Adagio frowned and sat up. When she put it like that... “In our defense, we didn’t think Stirrope was that much of a powder keg. As far as we knew, Lebensraum was just a demagogue copying a movie star’s mustache. And we certainly weren’t involved in the Manehattan Project.” She shuddered at the memory. None of them had believed what befell Neighpon at first. Then the tests started. “The goal was always conflict, Sparkle, not death. A corpse can’t feel anything. We’d thought the Great War was as bad as you people could get, but then you went and made those. And used them.”
Sparkle nodded at that, flipping through her notes and not paying nearly enough attention to the fact that her species kept setting off nuclear weapons like they were firecrackers. “You do seem to have a tendency to underestimate humanity, for good and for ill.”
Despite gritting her teeth, Adagio had to give that a grudging nod. “You do keep surprising us, even after all these years. I’ve seen humans more virtuous than ponies even claim to be, and more ruthless than the sirens who chased us out of the sea in the first place.”
That got Sparkle to look up with the surprise she should have had towards the bombs. “You’ve never mentioned that part.”
Adagio grinned, leaning back onto her side. If that got her interest... “Because this biography is meant to be about our time on this world." She gave an airy wave. "I cover all of the Equestrian history with Shimmer; she has the context for it.”
“Oh." Sparkle wilted and drew a line through whatever she'd just written down. "That’s… understandable.”
Hook, line... Now came the concerned pout. “Oh, has she not told you much about where she comes from?”
A shake of the head, and Adagio fought to keep her lips still. “Sunset doesn’t like talking about her history, and it’s hard to avoid it when discussing Equestria.”
“Really, now." Adagio stood and sashayed to Sparkle. "You know, I could be persuaded to share some details. Things I’m sure ponies have forgotten." She knelt down, putting them at eye level, and offered the smile she loved using on her tools. "Things they never knew.”
“Uh huh." It didn't usually get a flat stare in response. Adagio was almost impressed. "And what’s the catch for the oh-so-tempting forbidden knowledge? My loyalty? My magic? My soul?”
Adagio snorted before she could stop herself. Ah, nostalgia. “Nothing so crass. I’d just like to… test a few things." She straightened up and tossed back her hair. "I’m something of a scientist myself. And it’s been a long time since I got help on a truly intellectual endeavor.”
Sparkle frowned up at her, a white-knuckle grip on her pencil. “I know you’re manipulating me.”
“Am I?" Adagio strutted back to the bed and flounced down on the edge. "Or have your overtures of friendship finally turned my heart to the light of Harmony?”
“You’re absolutely manipulating me. I appreciate you using more carrot than stick, but this is not the first time someone’s used me as a tool to further their own ambitions.”
Adagio smirked. It was always more fun when they saw it coming. Riskier, but more fun. “This is leading to a ‘but.’”
“But…" Sparkle looked away, biting her lip. "Well, we’re here to record everything you want to tell us, and I hate the idea of letting knowledge go forgotten when there’s an alternative.”
The smirk grew to a full shark-toothed grin, the first one Adagio felt with all her heart in months. “I couldn’t agree more.”
Adagio looked up at the cackling dark angel at the eye of the brewing storm. Vivid, purple bolts of lightning crackled in the sky as chunks of the earth uprooted themselves to orbit the madwoman.
“Well," said Adagio. "That backfired.” Part of her thought she ought to be panicking, but the majority was too stunned to do anything but stare and compose an appropriate score for pipe organ and choir.
Sunset Shimmer massaged the bridge of her nose. “So. Explain to me again how this happened?”
Her tone was enough for Adagio to snap out of it and defend herself. "Firstly, I would like some credit for calling you."
"After you explain what you did."
"It was just a little harmless hypnosis!"
"Harmless," Shimmer echoed, watching as Sparkle cackled and reduced the materials circling her to powder with the power of her will alone.
“I was only trying to make her suggestible! Get some information to use against you!" Somehow, that only made the unicorn glare right at her. Adagio threw up her hands. "It’s a compliment, Shimmer. You’re a worthy enough adversary that I’ll take any avenue to take you down.”
Shimmer took a deep breath and nodded. “So you guided her conscious mind down and Midnight took advantage of the vacancy. Got it.”
Adagio crossed her arms. “You could have mentioned she’d externalized her inner demons.”
“We have an understanding. I don’t blab about her demons, she doesn’t blab about mine. Plus, I didn’t think you’d need to know, because for some reason I'd actually trusted you.” Shimmer punctuated that by jabbing a finger into Adagio's sternum.
She rolled her eyes. “That’s clearly your problem.”
Shimmer shook her head. “You really never learn, do you?”
“Look, I’m the only sane siren in this world. It’s hardly my fault that I’m surrounded by apes and a pony." Adagio offered a winning smile. "So, same time next week?”
Shimmer facepalmed. Sparkle performed the finishing touches on a crystal statuette of Shimmer, "assembled on the molecular level, just for you!" Adagio shrugged. Mammals. Go figure.