About ten minutes into the lecture, the only pony present anymore was Twilight, her friends having snuck out. Twilight finished, now half an hour in, and holding a small stick she had brought from… somewhere, she smiled, satisfied with her work.
“So, are there any questions before we go into Quantum Friendship Theory?” Crypto was the first to respond.
“Yeah, while I gotta admit that was mildly interesting… WHEN THE FUCK ARE WE GETTING CLOTHES TWILIT?!”
“My name is Twilight!”
Carma soon joined in, “Girls really out here getting named after a time of day while I’m still freezing.”
“Yeah, it’s cold as balls right now.” Twilight looked like she was about to retort but stopped and contemplated that for a moment.
“Bu… but scrotums are not inherently cold.”
“We know Twilight, we’re just saying it’s cold in here in our own way, no need to get all biological on us.” With a short sigh, Crypto cleared his throat, “Lemme try this again, can we please get some clothing so we don’t feel as uncomfortable as we feel now? Unlike you all, we wear clothes constantly.” He said, staring straight at her.
Twilight sighed and nodded, “Yes, yes. I apologize. You did just come here from another world and the first thing I did was put you through a speech. I may have gotten ahead of myself.”
Hearing this, Crypto seems satisfied with her apology. “It’s alright Twilight, plus I did say that the lesson was interesting so I’m pretty fine with it.” He gave her a gentle pat on the head. Carma seemed to be the only one who was still quiet.
Crypto turns his attention towards Carma,”Why so quiet all of a sudden?”
A moment passes as Carma seems to break out of the thoughtful trance he was in. He looks at the two of them for a moment before motioning Crypto to get closer to whisper something to him.
“Okay so we already know they’re not gonna eat us, right?”
“Right.”
“Well… if they’re all herbivores… what will they do when they find out we’re omnivores?”
“...oh shit.”
“Is everything okay?”
Instantly the two of them turned to Twilight wearing plastered grins on their faces, deciding to gather information about the ethics of these ponies before saying anything. Crypto was the first to respond.
“So Twilight, what are the rules around here? Since we’re new and we may be stuck for a long while, I think that we should know as much as we can.” The other seemed uneasy with Crypto suddenly having interest in their so-called “New Home”.
Twilight raised an eyebrow in confusion, “Well, in all honesty the rules are pretty simple. Be nice is all we ask.” She squinted, “Why do you ask? You’re not planning anything devious are you.” With a look of terror she covered herself with her wings and stepped back, “Your species doesn’t do bad things to mares, do you?!”
Crypto put his hands up in defense, “No, trust me. We may be omnivores but we never eat a horse. It’s taboo even where we come from.”
Carma snickered a bit and couldn’t help himself, “However we do do terribly erotic things to ponies back in our respective worlds. Pretty often actually, and you’re lookin’ mighty nice right about now.”
With a blush and pop, the mare disappeared and Carma went into a laughing fit. He received a slug in the shoulder for his troubles.
“The fuck is wrong with you? That did not help things in the slightest.” Crypto couldn’t help but chuckle a little too. Granted, the situation might not have been optimal at the moment but they could surely explain themselves… probably… hopefully…
Carma shrugged and tied the current blankets they had around his body like a toga and stood up, “Well, since we’re alone, how about some proper introductions. For example, what in Sam Raimy’s Dune Buggy are you? Like, most of the people I know don’t have fruit for their heads.
“I’m a pumpkin mage that got sent to the future after my race got murked by humans and some other races and now I'm fighting evil gods. I made a pact with a demonic being to save my life and yeah i'm part demon now.” Crypto said while swirling a lick of flame around his finger. “What about you? I know you’re a human and all but what other qualities do you have?”
Carma stood up on the couch, and held a hand over his face, the aura of the room changed to one much more sinister as he looked into something unseen by any but himself. A feeling of deathly cold fear came over Crypto as he observed the man before him. Eventually the human lifted his hand and looked Crypto dead in the eye.
“I make bussin’ pancakes.” He said epicly.
After a moment, Crypto silently rose and stood over the human, staring at him menacingly, “Oh really now? Well I can make an omelet that everyone will fall in love with.”
The challenge had been set, and Equestria would never be the same.