{Rainbow Dash}
On one of my days off Gilda and I sat by the edge of a cliff. I wanted to train but I knew it wasn't possible because of those out of control sonic rainbooms I've been doing lately.
Gilda smiled at me. "Hey I have an idea! Since we had that burping contest a couple of days ago, I was thinking why not do another silly contest? You know, because I've been spending more time with you being your bodyguard and all."
I raised an eyebrow. "Bodyguard? From the way I see you're still my babysitter, but okay. So what do you have in mind?"
"Well," said Gilda, "I doubt anyone can hear us right now, I was thinking about a screaming contest?"
I laughed because what Gilda doesn't know is that screaming contests were my specialty when I was still inside AI. Me and Eli would do stuff like that all the time. We would always argue about who was the winner.
So Gilda and I started our screaming contest. Gilda did her griffon roar and I did my pegasus scream. After the contest was over, Gilda and I started to argue about who won.
"I won!" Gilda exclaimed.
"No," I countered, "I won and you know it!"
After a while of going back and forth of arguing, I heard Jude say, "I think it's a tie you two."
I chuckled when I saw Jude, "Hey Jude, what's up?"
"So what's the screaming all about?" Jude asked.
"Oh," I answered, "we were just having a screaming contest. Gilda doesn't know that screaming contests are my specialty! I was still inside AI, Eli and I do it all the time."
"I won and you know it Rainbow Dash!" Gilda said. "A griffon's roar is louder than a pegasus scream any day!"
"Is that the lion roar I heard before I got here?" Jude said.
"So much for no one being around to hear us, Gilda," I said.
Gilda puffed out her chest. "Yeah that was me. I'm half lion and half eagle. I think my roar is awesome!"
I rolled my eyes. "You think everything is awesome. You were the one that started the 'Gilda line' around the Sixth."
Gilda puffed out her chest again, "Yup! I'm proud I did it too!"
Jude raised an eyebrow. "What's the Gilda line?"
I groaned, "Gilda, would you do the honors?"
"Why thank you Rainbow Dash!" Gilda smiled. She cleared her throat, "Rainbow Dash is tough, she's fast and she's the definition of the word awesome!"
I facehoofed and groaned. Jude was on his stomach rolling in laughter. Gilda joined in on the laughter.
"Not funny you two!" I growled.
Jude composed himself, "Okay what's so bad about a statement that's true?"
"Uh no, it's not!" I said. "I'm just a regular Pegasus who can apparently do a legendary sonic rainboom."
"Well just being able to create a rainbow by doing something like that makes it true." Jude said. "You're no ordinary pegasus mom and you know it!"
"See? He's not the only one that agrees with me," Gilda said. "Why won't you listen to reason?"
I scoffed, "Fine whatever you say Gilda." I turned to Jude. "Anyway, what's new Jude?"
"Not much except for when AI made Eli, Royal Advisor Eli, things have been entertaining lately." Jude smiled.
I tilted my head. "Why's that?"
"Well there's this ugly old hag named First Mother that works at the Mainframe along with Eli. She's gone bananas for the guy ever since he became Royal Advisor," Jude replied.
I paused and I wondered if this was the same woman that Eli told me about. "Uh, First Mother?"
Jude nodded. "Yeah she's one of the Mothers of the Mainframe, she helps me keep AI running properly. She was the head of the Mainframe until Eli got promoted to Royal Advisor. So now Eli's her boss. She keeps stalking him and trying to break into his room at night to watch him sleep."
"Wow," I shuddered, "that's not creepy at all. That reminds me of something Pinkie did when I first broke out of AI."
"She recently asked Eli out on a date," said Jude, "and Eli's response was to throw up in front of her as his own special way of saying no."
Gilda and I fell over on our backs laughing at that idea.
I was surprised I was able to say anything in between my laughter. "Well that's one way to get rid of someone! Too bad I have a strong stomach."
"I doubt that's going to keep her away for long," Jude said. "The thought of being with her to Eli is repulsive and I don't blame him. She should at least date someone her own age."
I finally stopped laughing. "Well, how old is she?"
"She's got to be over a hundred years old." Jude replied. "AI won't let me see what her age is. She looks ancient."
"I've never asked this before but how old is Eli?" I asked.
"He's thirty-six," answered Jude, "at least that's what AI has him registered as."
"I think there's a better way for First Mother to tell someone that they like them without stalking them or breaking into their rooms at night." I said.
"Maybe you can teach First Mother some pick-up lines so she can snag the guy that she likes?" Gilda suggested. "That would be a lot better than breaking into someone's room to watch them sleep at night."
Jude tilted his head. "Pick-up lines?"
"It's a subtle way to hint to someone that you like them," I explained. "You can tell by the way a person reacts to it that it's okay to stick around for a while or pack up and move on."
Gilda snorted. "You want to demonstrate for him Rainbow?"
"Why I'd love to!" I quipped.
Gilda sat down pretending to mind her own business and I put on my best flirting smile when I went up to her. "Hey beautiful fancy meeting you here. Do you come here often?"
"Why yes I do come here often!" Gilda said. "This is my favorite spot thanks for asking!"
"So can I buy you a drink?" I asked.
"Sure, what are you having?" Gilda replied.
"How about some coffee?" I said.
"Why I'd love one!" Gilda smiled. "I take mine black. What about you?"
"I take mine with cream and sugar, sugar," I raised both of my eyebrows in such a way to show that I was flirting with her.
Jude definitely found our little demonstration funny because he burst into laughter. He laughed so hard he couldn't breathe.
I chuckled, "Yeah so that's how it's done. If you ask me, if people like First Mother and Pinkie pie would do this then maybe they would have a better chance of getting the person they like. Or they can do what Oliver did with me when we first met. They can throw paper balls in their trash cans."
"Is that how you two met?" Jude asked.
"Pretty much, I was working at JJ Inc when I first met Oliver," I said. "That was right after I had you. At first I thought he was cute, but then he got on my nerves by throwing paper balls in my trashcan and asking me out on a coffee date all the time. Every time he did that my answer was, we have coffee in the breakroom.
"It was clear to everyone that Oliver had feelings for me. Everyone seemed to think that I had feelings for him. I wasn't sure about that. So I figured it out when I kissed him and now here we are two years later and we're married."
"Aww that's cute." Jude said.
"Yeah and Oliver's been overprotective of her lately." Gilda said. "Although it doesn't surprise me because he was like that when he was doing her six day training."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah and it's getting on my nerves considering he's appointed Gilda to be my babysitter every time I'm out of his sight."
"I don't blame him because he's concerned about your safety because of out of control partial sonic rainbooms." Gilda said. "Of course from what I heard you did finally figure out why everyone's so worried about you."
"Yeah I know, I'm possibly pregnant." I said. I crossed my forehooves and sat on my haunches to show my annoyance. "I'm not pregnant."
Gilda rolled her eyes. "Uh-huh let's see here, out of control partial sonic rainbooms, eating mountains of food like you're eating for two people, throwing up randomly and being extremely tired all the time, need I go on?"
"Oh speaking of that," said Jude, "Ivy just gave birth to our son Leo."
I smiled. "Well congratulations! Please send my congrats to Ivy too."
"Sure I have a picture of him that I want to give to you as a personal photo," Jude said.
Jude took out the picture that was in a gold picture frame. The picture was of Leo sleeping in his crib. Leo's name was engraved at the bottom of the picture frame. Leo looked just as adorable as Jude did when he was a baby. As a matter of fact, Leo looked a lot like Jude when he was born. If Jude didn't tell me that was a picture of his son, I would've sworn that it was one of Jude's baby pictures.
"Wow," I said, "if I didn't know any better, I would say this was one of your baby pictures if you hadn't told me it was a picture of your son."
"Really?" Jude asked before raising an eyebrow.
I nodded. "Yeah you looked like this when you were a baby. Does he have a strange birthmark on one of his hands by chance?"
"Oh you mean like the one I have?" Jude said. "No, he doesn't, he looks like a regular baby for now. Oh and the crib Leo's laying in First Mother built for him. That to me is about the only good thing she's done so far."
I laughed. "At least she did something good."
An alarm went off on the watch Jude was wearing. He sighed, "It looks like it's time for me to go. It was nice seeing you again mom."
"Sure, anytime Jude." I said.
* * *
{Jude}
Eli and I were sitting in the computer going over the video footage I got of Rainbow Dash and Gilda doing a demonstration of what they called pick-up lines. I thought it would be a good idea to teach First Mother this to save her the trouble of someone throwing up in front of her again.
Eli wasn't so sure if that would help because First Mother still keeps invading his personal space. Eli did throw a couple of his stunner needles at her and that still doesn't keep her away. One would think someone throwing up in front of someone to tell them no to a date would give them a hint that they don't like them. But no, First Mother can be very hard headed when it comes down to someone saying no to her.
"Honestly I think it might help with the next guy she goes after." I said.
Eli shook his head. "I don't think there's going to be a next guy she goes after. If she uses them on me, I'll throw another stunner needle at her."
I snorted. "Yeah one would think that would be a clear cut no for an answer."
Eli laughed. "I've told her several times I'm not interested. I'm gay so there's no way I'm sleeping with a woman if I got something to say about it. Servant Milo told me that you know about our relationship?"
I nodded. "You did say I love you to him right before you passed out after a Feeding Ritual. Don't worry, your secret's safe with me."
"Um, thank you." Eli said.
Eli and I heard a disturbance outside and I knew what it meant. But this time I requested an audience with her so it would be okay to let First Mother into the computer room.
"I should go-" Eli said.
"Actually I requested an audience with her this time." I said.
"You're going to do what I think you're going to do aren't you?" Eli asked.
I nodded. "That's exactly what I'm going to do. This should be fun at least for me it should be. You and Servant Milo can escape from her after you let her in."
Eli chuckled, "Okay then."
I laughed when I heard the conversation outside.
"Ah, it's the handsome Royal Advisor Eli!" I heard First Mother say.
Eli gagged. "Yuck! Please don't call me handsome again, I'm not interested. It's okay to let the old hag in the computer room. Lord Jude wants an audience with her."
"Oh, sure Royal Advisor Eli." Servant Milo said.
Then I heard Eli say, "Let's escape from Grandma while we still can Servant Milo."
"I'm not a grandma!" First Mother snapped. "I'm a one hundred and fifty year old beautiful young woman."
"Yeah I don't think the words beautiful and young should go in front of one hundred and fifty years old in the same sentence." Eli said. "Besides, I'm thirty-six and you're three times my age so my answer is definitely no thank you."
I heard Eli and Servant Milo laughing as they ran away from First Mother. I imagine they ran as fast as they could away from her and I don't blame them.
* * *
I smiled when I saw First Mother walk into the computer room with a curious look on her face.
I raised an eyebrow. "So you're one hundred and fifty years old huh?"
"Yes," said First Mother. "You heard me say that to Royal Advisor Eli didn't you?"
I nodded. "Yup, when are you going to learn to take Eli saying no for an answer?"
First Mother tilted her head. "Eli?"
"That's what I call him, but it's still Royal Advisor Eli to you." I said.
"Oh, okay," First Mother said.
"To add to that," I said, "Eli's gay so he wouldn't have been interested in you anyway."
First Mother put her hands on her hips and gave me a look of disbelief. "Oh, and how do you know this?"
"A little birdie perched on my shoulder and whispered it into my ear." I with a mischievous smile. I had a feeling with the evil look on my face that First Mother wouldn't believe not one little bit. Judging by the look on her face, she didn't believe me. I wanted to laugh at the look on her face but I chose not to. Don't laugh, in the name of AI please don't laugh Jude!
First Mother gasped. "I don't believe that a handsome hunk of a man like Royal Advisor Eli is gay! That's impossible!"
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah and one would think that Eli throwing up in front of you and throwing stunner needles at you would give you clear cut no he's not interested."
"Oh he'll be interested in me sooner or later!" First Mother declared.
"More like later or as a matter of fact never," I said, "and Eli's already told me that if you use what I'm about to show you on him, he'll throw a stunner needle at you."
"What is it?" First Mother asked.
"Are you lonely First Mother?" I asked.
First Mother shifted her gaze. "I, uh…"
This time I couldn't stop myself from laughing, I finally composed myself, "So that's why you're so grumpy all the time! You know if you just told me, I could've been able to help with that. You know I could find someone that's actually interested in you."
"Yeah, yeah," said First Mother. "Anyway, what did you want to show me?"
"According to Rainbow Dash," I said, "you can use this to figure out if someone's interested in you or not. Have you ever heard of pick-up lines?"
First Mother raised an eyebrow. "Uh, pick-up lines? Nope, never heard of them."
"I know right?" I said. "I didn't know what they were until Rainbow Dash told me about it."
I proceeded to pull up the video footage of Rainbow Dash practicing pick-up lines with her friend Gilda.
First Mother gave me a skeptical look. "Are you sure this is going to help me snag a man, Lord Jude?"
I shrugged. "I don't know but it's worth a try."
"So who am I supposed to practice with?" First Mother asked.
"I'm glad you asked that," I said. "I have the perfect person for you to practice with. Servant Charlie?"
"Yes, Lord Jude?" Servant Charlie said.
"Can you please send in Servant James?" I asked.
First Mother's jaw dropped. "My number one Servant? You want me to practice this with my number one Servant? Seriously Lord Jude?"
I bit my bottom lip trying not to laugh, Don't laugh! Don't laugh, nope not laughing!
Servant James entered the room and smiled when he saw First Mother. I smiled when I saw the way Servant James was looking at her.
"Servant James," I said, "do you by chance know what pick-up lines are?"
Servant James nodded. "Yes your highness I know exactly what those are. I've used them many times on women that I've liked. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't."
"I didn't know about them until recently," I said. "First Mother didn't have a clue what they were either. She's one hundred and fifty years old."
Servant James gasped, "What?! I'm sixty years old and I know what pick-up lines are. What rock have you been hiding under First Mother?"
First Mother's face turned red and she looked away. I literally bit my bottom lip so hard that I was surprised it didn't bleed. No laughing Jude, nope no laughing
"So I guess I'm here to practice these pick-up lines with the beautiful First Mother?" Servant James asked with a smile.
"Are you just saying that to be a butt kisser Servant James?" First Mother asked while raising an eyebrow.
Servant James shook his head. "Nope how many times have I called you beautiful Master and you don't even give it a second thought? It's like you don't even notice I exist."
"I uh, oh." First Mother said.
I snorted. "Well there you go! Someone that actually likes you. Although I don't think you need to practice pick-up lines on him and I bet he won't throw up on you either."
Servant James chuckled, "I still can't believe Royal Advisor Eli did that. If that's no for an answer, I don't know what is."
First Mother looked speechless at the fact that one of her servants liked her. Without warning Servant James kissed First Mother.
I smiled and thought, This might be what keeps her from stalking Eli and away from the computer room for a change? If so, it works for me!
I grinned as I saw Servant James grab First Mother's hand and guide her out the door.
* * *
{Eli}
I was laying in my bed holding Servant Milo in my arms. I kept holding him so I could get the repulsive idea of First Mother asking me out on a date. I still felt a little sick to my stomach because of that.
I wondered if maybe seeing Servant Milo naked would help. I wasn't sure why I thought that but I did. I didn't know how to go about asking that from Servant Milo. So for the moment I kissed his neck and played with the zipper on his pants. I wasn't sure if he was enjoying this or not but he did snuggle closer to me.
"Royal Advisor Eli?" Servant Milo said.
"Yes, Servant Milo?" I said.
"Do you want to see me naked or something like that by chance?" Servant Milo asked.
"How-" I said.
"You're playing with the zipper on my pants and kissing my neck." Servant Milo replied.
I smiled. "Yes, I do want to see you naked."
Servant Milo chuckled, "Well I was wondering when to ask you about seeing you naked too."
"Oh." I said. "You're my first relationship so I don't know anything about this."
"Okay then," said Servant Milo, "you can start by unzipping my pants and taking them off."
I hesitated at first, but then I brought myself to take his pants off. Servant Milo then told me what to take off next. The next thing I knew he was completely naked. I couldn't help but marvel at how beautiful Servant Milo looked now that he was naked.
Servant Milo smiled. "What?"
"You're beautiful." That was the only thing I could think of to say.
Servant Milo laughed, "Thanks. I bet you'll be even more beautiful than me when I see you naked."
"Huh?" I said.
I had no idea what was going on after Servant Milo took my clothes off and climbed on top of me. I felt myself get hard and then groaned with pleasure when Servant Milo guided me into him. I kept groaning when Servant Milo started pushing on me. Whatever was happening I enjoyed every single minute of it.
* * *
After Servant Milo was finished pushing on me, he got off me and I laid there staring up at the ceiling.
"Exactly what did we just do?" I asked.
"We just had sex," said Servant Milo, "you mean to tell me that was your first time?"
I nodded.
"Did you enjoy yourself?" Servant Milo asked.
I nodded. "Yes I did."
"You want to do it again?" Servant Milo said.
I nodded, "Yes."
When we started having sex again, I didn't want it to end.