//------------------------------// // Chapter 8: The Final Countdown // Story: School Daze // by Paleo Prints //------------------------------// School Daze by Paleo Prints Chapter 8: The Final Countdown Cheerilee’s brow glistened like a Mareibu surfer. She stared across the great philosophical divide represented by Principal Placeholder’s desk. I have to nail it this time. The last time I tried this it wound up getting me here. She smiled with confidence for the first time that morning. Maybe that wasn’t so bad. Now, I just have to sell him on my idea. I just wish I could remember what it was… Placeholder’s cream coat looked as unsettled as she felt. His collar was poorly done, sticking out as Red’s tended to most of the time. He had four cups of coffee on his desk; one was tipped over and empty and the next one over was half-finished. The next two replacements in line were rapidly cooling. Cheerilee chose not to comment on his flawed caffeine delivery system. “So,” he began. “So! So…” His eyes looked up from his cup expectantly. He pushed his unbrushed pink mane out of his eyes. A long-suffering smile spread out as if supplicating itself to an alpha male. “I understand you have plans.” She wiggled nervously on her haunch. Play it cool. “Of course! Always trying to do what’s best for the school. I’m full of gnarly things to throw against the wall; call me Miss Spaghetti!” Her uncertain grin showed her lack of confidence in the metaphor. His eyes dropped pack to his coffee as he gestured half-heartedly with his hoof. “Now, about the current course of ill-advised action…” Think, girl! What did I say? She nibbled on her hoof while trying to jog her memory. I remember…liquor. A cactus. Prince Blueblood. She coughed. Wow. My imagination isn’t kind to me. She briefly remembered what Miss Scribbles used to say to her during her student teacher days. “Have a good time going out tonight, dear! Be careful, don’t do anything I wouldn’t, and if all else fails name it after me!” “Yeah, I expect yesterday was a…doozy.” Placeholder dropped both hooves on his desk. His leaned over to sip his cup, too exhausted to use his horn, and found it empty. He backhanded it off the desk. It skipped across the top of another desk, sending the empty cup, a school finance clipboard, and a few stray bottle caps into a packing crate, which closed with a slam. Placeholder didn’t even notice. Cheerilee gulped. Well, someone will get confused when they open that someday. “I received callers at my home last night. Five parents came to offer their opinions on your audio breakdown.” Cheerilee meekly nodded. “I must have really offended them.” Placeholder wiped a grimy hoof against his brow. “I almost wish you had. I’m well versed in termination paperwork. It would be an appropriate action for this stage of the game. No Miss Cheerilee, it was with a more nefarious purpose they infringed on my designated dinner time. They came to offer encouragement.” She blinked. “Miss Cheerilee, I had little problem when your ‘innovations’ involved existing materials and a minor amount of paperwork. The idea of creating something large and new while we’re in the homestretch to a successful end is anathema to me. So imagine my reaction when a herd of townsfolk showed up on my door with words of encouragement for your school community outreach festival.” Okay, that’s a good one. She smiled as she listened. I can work with that. Go Drunkilee; I wish I could talk to you more often! “You say they were excited?” He sighed. “Quite. Apparently several of our student families noticed the effect you were having on their children. Report cards went home with the students last week.” She raised an eyebrow. “…and they were happy with the grades?” Placeholder started chuckling to himself. “My dear pony, listen to what I said. The report cards went home; they arrived. The students actually took them home and ensured that the papers survived the journey.” He raised his eyebrows. “This is, to my knowledge, without precedent in all the seasons I’ve been here.” A ray of hope shone on the earth mare’s heart. Placeholder continued. “Now, they want to help with the festival. Have you thought about how you’re going to organize it in just three weeks?” She nodded. “I have the idea down, boss.” I have no idea. Keep smiling. He nodded weakly. “So, what are we going to do about…HIM then? I’m nearly too terrified to think about it.” He was shaking. “I know the Smooze is real. I believe in the Smooze. I’m not afraid of the Smooze. I’m afraid of him.” Her heart froze. Does he know? Did Discord do something else? If he’s hurt my students… “Have any of the students seen him, sir?” Placeholder nodded. “He was going into Red’s classroom last I saw him.” He heard the sounded of a kicked chair and a flung open door. Looking up he found himself alone. Well, she’s in a hurry for disaster. I felt more comfortable around immortal goddesses with astronomical might than around…HIM. Cheerilee galloped down the hallway recklessly, not even stopping to see how her class was treating ‘substitute teacher’ Cleansweep. She lowered her head and barreled into the science lab, finding herself nose to nose with… Prunecrop? The majority of the class started waving at her in greetings. The aged unicorn turned to regard the source of the loud noise. He offered a manticore’s smile as he locked gaze with Cheerilee. “Ah, my dear exile. How pleasant of you to join us. I feel honored that you’d leave your duties to dereliction just to keep me company.” Red was a step behind Prunecrop, his eyes nervously scanning his room. Two opposite sides of the room both sported black acid-proof countertops for the length of their walls; this was the student work area. Cabinets were affixed to the wall over the stations. They were filled with tools as Cheerilee recalled, although from the cluttered science posters covering them they could be mistaken for modern art collages. At each station a pair of students were assembling rockets and mixing chemicals. In between the stations and cabinets lurked sinks that had long since been stained with a variety of colors. Red‘s face lit up as he saw the fuchsia mare into the room. “Miss Cheerilee! We’re thrilled to have you here. I mean, I am. I mean, everyone but he is.” Prunecrop nodded in agreement as he checked in on the workstations. He looked over Screwball’s shoulder at her work; she returned a nervous toothy grin. Next to her Quest took a protective step between the filly and the administrator. “Can I help you, sir?” Prunecrop snorted. “As much as I find it doubtful, I’ll give you a chance to impress me. Where are your instruction sheets for this lab?” Quest and Screwy looked at each other. “Instruction sheets?” The gray stallion snorted. “How are you supposed to follow all the steps?” Quest shrugged. “We’ve been working with this stuff for weeks. Right now we’re measuring the effect of slight variations in the formula. It’s…something like a recipe. We’ve got it down.” The aging inspector stared at Screwy. “Do you actually know what you’re doing?” Screwy nodded profusely. “Not at all! Me am failing hard.” Quest through a hoof over her mouth and nervously giggled. “She’s such a kidder. We’re the top team in the class.” Placeholder shook his head. “Not exactly a ringing endorsement,” he commented as he moved on. Screwball raised her eyebrows and looked guiltily at quest. “Me say not enough? Too much?” Cheerilee watched nervously as the incredulous unicorn stared down the two of her favorite students. Suddenly she noticed an opened box of sem-rusty nails on a nearby counter, sitting next to pile of utility knives. Red, did you forget to clean up yesterday’s lab? She quickly swept the materials into a drawer before Prunecrop noticed them. Noticing a pile of hot glue guns further down the counter, she waved at Red desperately to get his attention. Unfortunately the scarlet science pony was too busy fielding questions from Prunecrop to notice. Oh, this isn’t good. She moved through the maze of rearranged school desks, dodging students carrying chemicals. As she rushed to the counter, she grabbed the tangled mass of power cords with her mouth and flung them into the nearby equipment cabinet hanging on the wall. She marveled at the random assortment of objects mixed in with the equipment. Okay, that’s a clay dinosaur and a fleet of miniature ships next to a tin of peaches. Really? How did…never mind. She sighed with relief as she closed the cabinet. Looking down into the sink she saw a rusted outline of some metal tool that had been left there far too long. Next to it were three broken beakers sitting in the sink, their jagged rims of broken glass glistening with the promise of administrative write-ups. The determined mare reached down to grab them and hesitated. Okay, Snail’s science project is one thing, but I am not grabbing broken glass with my mouth. She heaved herself onto the counter as she started to sweep the glass together with her hooves. “What are you doing there, Miss Cheerilee?” She grinned like a child caught present-hunting on Hearth’s Warming Eve. “Nothing! Nothing but breaking glass. Just an accident, you know. I love the sound of breaking glass!” She looked to Red for back-up. Unfortunately, Red was shouting across the room. “Riversift, drop that! That’s not to be used with that mixture. Oh, dear. That’s…not what teacher said to do…” Prunecrop turned with a smile to the spreading cloud of purple smoke. Looking to Mr. Glare he saw the earth pony precariously balanced on a desk, waving his arms as if he was trying to attract a lifeguard. “Everybody out! Orderly chemical evacuation! Get the buck out of here!” The students shocked Prunecrop by filing out the room with good cheer. He expected riots and trampling; his pencil telekinectically snapped in shocked. Soon he trotted out into the hallways, leaving an empty classroom behind. “Pardon me, Mr. Glare,” he started while cleaning his glasses. “How did you get them out so quickly?” Red beamed. “We do that often!” Cheerilee superimposed herself between the two stallions. “Drills! He has constant drills. You have to be prepared!” Red scratched the back of his head and tried to play along. “That’s right, I have lots of drills! It’s a mining town, after all!” Both adults turned to silently stare at him. “Um…drills plus mining. No one else then?” Red shrugged as he followed the two into the hallway. Prunecrop clicked his tongue. “Well, I’ve seen all I need to here.” He walked across the hall and peered through the door. Mr. Trotter was dressed as a Veneightian canal boatpony, balancing on a small craft inside a toy swimming pool. As Prunecrop cleared his throat for attention the class continued to pay him no heed. “So, the ancient canal builders put all of these rooms in for machinery control and siege defense, and that’s where Emerald and I found ourselves after lunch one day.” The green unicorn grinned. “Wait, was it Emerald or Satin? I think we all ended up there at the same time. Anyway, back to the Third Council of Epona…” Prunecrop closed the door. “And that’s absolutely everything I need to know about this school. Miss Cheerilee, you’re to be commended.” A brief hopeful smile fought its way to the front of her face. “My dear schoolmare, you’ve added enough pomp and circumstance and meaningless show to this curriculum that I don’t recognize this as a school anymore. It’s a daycare with grades.” The smile stayed on her face, fighting for survival. “Pardon me a moment, Mr. Prunecrop.” She cracked open the door to Globe’s class. Noticing her with a smile, Globe gave a long showpony’s bow in her direction. The class shifted their gaze to the door just as the costumed teacher lost his balance and pitched sideways out of the kiddie pool. Globe rubbed his rump. “Can I do anything for you, Our Lady of Literature?” Cheerilee nodded. “Please be quiet, Mr. Trotter.” As confusion spread on his face she amended, “but only for a second.” The fuchsia pony stomped the ground once to gain the class’ attention. “Nailkicker, why did the Veneightians build the canals?” The black-coated student nearly jumped out of his seat. “They got their city sunk by magic in the bog war o’ 1314. ‘at’s the one where they used the halberd-flinger machine; I’m making one for me science project!” Cheerilee suppressed a shudder. “Can anyone tell me what started the war?” Prunecrop stomped the hallway floor in frustration. “This is ridiculous. If these wretches remember what they had for breakfast yesterday I’ll eat my clipboard.” A flurry of hooves went into the air. “The crop burnings,” shouted Luster. Sluice waved his hoof. “The Imperial Family Jewel’s theft!” Bomber rolled her eyes. “Come on, mates; yer’ got to go back a bit further to the botched trade dinner…” She waved her hoof in impatience. The entire class shouted at once, “The Noodle Incident!” As Prunecrop blinked, Bomber got out of her seat. She bowed to her peers and then headed to the administrator. “Oh, Mister Prunecrop?” He adjusted his glasses with a hoof. “Yes, what is it?” “A half dozen batter-fried sunflowers with a side of carrots.” The peach mare waved to the stunned administrator and Cheerilee as she closed the door. Cheerilee turned to the coughing stallion. “We have ketchup and mustard in the cafeteria.” Red thought a picture of the grin she wore could hang in a gallery. The flustered Prunecrop pointed a hoof at the schoolmare. “All right, let me be blunt. Regardless of your curriculum, there are a lot of noble benefactors who’d like the bits sunk into this mess spent somewhere else. Whatever I write on this form is immaterial. So,” he continued with a smile, “my dear schoolmare, I admit that it works. Everything you’ve done here is working. Soon, however, everyone here will not be working. Good day.” He turned his flank to her and walked off. Red turned to Cheerilee while he waved his students back into his lab. “What are we going to do?” She flashed a combative smirk at the retreating administrator. “Take a good, long look at that stallion’s haunch.” Red’s eyes crossed for a second before his mind straightened out. “Why?” The schoolmare bared her teeth. “Because I shall kick that haunch so hard it shall never been seen in a school again.” She turned to him as she walked off. “Teacher’s meeting today in the breakroom! You bring the donuts!” Red stared after the retreating fuchsia spitfire. Ponyville girls, eh? He was snapped back to reality by Luster’s waving hoof. “Okay, let’s get back in the room,” the stallion started. “Gravel and Shinestone.” Red’s eyebrows rose. “There’s a donut place on Gravel and Shinestone. Two stores down is a thrift store with a jewelry stock. Tell miss Second Chance that Luster sent you. She’ll show you the box behind the counter. You’re looking for something in gold or navy blue to complement fuchsia.” Red stared at her for a second as comprehension dawned. “How…” “Mr. Glare, you are the only thing in this school easier to understand then Miss Ratio’s practice problems.” She demurely pressed a hoof to her chest. “Now, I’m just a young student,” she continued, imitating a New Canterlot accent. “Just imagine how easy it would be for a mature mare who teaches lessons on character motivation?” She smiled as she walked back into class, leaving a contemplative stallion in the hallway. Goldy leaned over the desk of the staffroom. The outside hallways were filled with the stampeding hoof beats of children leaving school. She blocked out the noise as she stamped ‘X’ marks onto the stack of quizzes she had brought in. Ugh. I really wish they made flavored stamp handles. This hickory one lacks the smoky flavor my oak one had. She perked up as Globe came, tracking wet hoof prints. He bumped into the coffee machine as he walked, struggling to undo complicated straps of his period costume. “You know, since the early days of the Republics we’ve invented Velcro. Why can’t they make a costume with Velcro?” Cheerilee walked in with springing step. “Has anyone seen Red yet? I covered his class for the last ten minutes so he could grab donuts for our meeting!” Her voice rang out with a melodic lilt. Globe shook his head. Does anything ever get her down? Red stomped into the room with a donut box in his mouth. He spouted out a mumble of apologies until his co-workers’ gestures convinced him to spit out the donuts first. Cheerilee looked at him questioningly. “Why’d it take so long to get donuts? The shop’s down the corner.” Red laughed nervously. “Went to Gravel and Shinestone.” Cheerilee raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “They had a better selection.” She flipped open the box. “Really? That’s why you got a dozen identical glazed?” Red started sweating. “But they were the best!” The fuchsia teacher waved him off with a smile. She leaned onto the table, grinning like a madmare. “Gentlecolts…how do we kill Mare-Do-Well?” Silence followed. Cheerilee rubbed the back of her head. “Well, that one flopped. All right, I’ve got a plan. I think we can keep this school afloat.” Globe nodded. “We’re all on board.” Red and Goldy nodded. The earth mare paused. “I haven’t explained it yet.” Red nervously scratched his chin. Goldy covered her mouth as Globe victoriously turned to her. “I got you there, Ratio! One bit, right now!” Goldy nervously forked over a single bit. Suspicions grew in Cheerilee’s mind. “What’s going on?” Trotter flipped his newly won bit in the air as his smile grew. “I bet Goldy a bit you wouldn’t remember your plan to save the school.” He flashed a smile at the stunned lit teacher. “You were pretty drunk at that time.” The white pegasus snickered. “You were adorable.” I will NEVER touch that stuff again. “Okay. What did I say?” Red raised a nervous hoof. “Um, I liked the part where you said that bravery can turn ten percent into a hundred percent. Then you started screaming about how ponies didn’t need to believe in themselves if they believed in you believing in them.” He smiled. “It really was kind of adorable.” Cheerilee facehooved. “I said that. Okay, I said that. Did I give indication of how we would get this magnificent plan off the ground?” The co-workers looked at each other incredulously. Goldy tapped the table nervously. “Um, sweetie? We all talked about this when we called in.” Red cleared his throat. “As a point of order, I’d like to change my part of the plan. Even if I could send us on a rocket to the Asteroid King’s Space Castle in Space, I don’t think we’d get back in time.” Cheerilee buried her face in her hooves. “Okay. If I’m lucky then no parent heard this.” A mighty bellow sounded from the hallway. “Hoy! We’re ‘ere!” Cheerilee sank back into her haunch as a bulky blue stallion with a pink mane walked in. He dragged a cart overburdened with tools and lumber. Flip the mask on now, girl! “Yes?” The burly pinked-haired miner saluted. “Surehammer reportin’, Miss!” Cheerilee blinked. “You’re…Nailkicker’s dad?” He nodded. “Yep. I gots the lumber ye asked.” Cheerilee walked over to the huge stallion. “I…” She looked at the faces of her amused co-workers. “I can’t begin to thank you for dropping this off. He laughed. “Droppin’ this off? Not likely. Miss Bright is bringing the costume jewelry in out front, and the rest of the planning committee should be here soon. Meeting starts in ten minutes; you set the time, remember?” He paced off, whistling. Cheerilee was frozen in place. Goldy walked to the side and through a hoof around her neck. “Face it, girl. When you remove the inhibitions from the most inspiring mare I’ve ever met, you get magic.” Wordlessly the stunned and surprised ringleader walked to the cafeteria door. At least a half-dozen parents were setting up planning areas. Screwball was entertaining Bomber by juggling sequins and baubles and setting them into place. Nailkicker’s father was telling some kind of embarrassing family story to Flip; the young gamer was trying not to laugh as Nailkicker was trying not to die of shame. At the back table Crunch and Luster sorted out the huge row of incoming students and their donated equipment. Cheerilee found herself unable to speak. She meekly gave voice to a short succession of squeaks. As the rest of the volunteers busied themselves Screwball started jumping high in the air, waving to her ‘aunt.’ Slowly the rest of the room turned to the fuchsia schoolmare. The applause was deafening. Cheerilee felt like she was flying. She realized a steady pressure on her side was Red’s hoof holding her up. As she nodded mutely to the crowd, Globe walked in front of her, raising a hoof and quieting the crowd. “Okay everybody, you all know why we’re here. Everyone working the Cultural Fair booths will follow me. If you’re working in the games Miss Ratio will be setting up in the back of the room.” The demure white mare gave a reserved wave. “Mister Glare’s volunteers will follow him to his lab for equipment.” Globe grinned widely as he turned to Cheerilee. “Miss Cheerilee, would you mind going over the schedule with some of the new volunteers?” He passed her a clipboard with her own handwriting clipped to it. Yup, there’s the Asteroid King idea. Hey, I’m running a play! She jumped slightly. Looks like the choices are some Findingway stories and...’Pearlshield Against the Lobster Giants in the Caves of Chaos?' Cheerilee walked onto the cafeteria stage to inspect the materials placed in her care. As she crested onto the platform, the cafeteria went silent. She turned to see several dozen eyes staring at her expectantly. They expect me to say something…sober. Grinning apprehensively she walked to the school microphone. Tapping the button started a shower of sparks from the rotted cord; a drone of feedback sent the hooves of her audience over their ears. Cheerilee turned and bucked the offending device into the wall. Globe whispered to Red. “Remind Miss Forgetful Hangover about that Fancy Pants donation, will you? We’ll need it.” Cheerilee cleared her throat. Heck, if my kids hear me during lunchtime projecting in a near empty cafeteria is a cinch. “I want to thank all of you for your support.” She looked down and scratched her hooves together. “This outpouring has been…amazing.” Red saw a familiar flash in her eyes; She’s got her internal soundtrack running, he thought as Cheerilee stepped more confidently to the front of the stage. “There’s something more important than that. You gave us what no one else gave this town; you gave us a chance. You let a crazy mare from the sticks come here and turn everything upside down. I’m so proud of where we’ve ended up.” She narrowed her eyes. “I intend to keep us going regardless of whatever the school board thinks they can do.” Hollers sounded from the cafeteria. Globe nudged Goldy. “Could you go get her cart? She’s going to be running on automatic for a while; I don’t want her to forget it.” The pegasus smiled as she left the cafeteria; She could hear the energized earth pony screaming from the stage. “We’re not going to take it anymore!” She’s really hit her stride. As she walked into the literature room she swore she could make out the sounds of Cheerilee ordering Placeholder to do push-ups. Dragging Cheerilee’s battered cart from behind the desk, she noticed a piece of artwork lying on a desk. She walked over to satisfy her curiosity and immediately inhaled in shock. Is that supposed to be…Red and Cheerilee? She looked away quickly, then slowly returned her gaze. She rotated the drawing around several times. I’ve known Red for years; he’s nowhere near that athletic, and he’d never use engineering supplies that way. She smiled. They do look cute together, though. Goldy carefully placed the artwork in her friend’s cart with a mischievous grin. Cheerilee whistled happily as she and Screwball trotted home. The schoolmare reveled in her young filly’s account of her day. “…and me made a mess of the jewelry and Nailkicker’s dad said I was very useless!” The young filly radiated contentment. Her guardian felt a swell of pride. As the two mares turned a corner Cheerilee’s heart stopped. Princess Luna stood in the middle of the path, admiring the architecture. The schoolmare had no illusions that this meeting was coincidence. Well, time to check in. “Good evening, Your Majesty!” Luna snapped out of her contemplations and gave a polite nod. “Welcome, educator. I see thou hast thrived in these environs.” The schoolmare nodded. Luna’s eyes widened as she gestured to Screwball. “What is she doing?” Turning to the side, Cheerilee saw Screwy doing a swaying handstand; her legs juggled several balls. “Um…I think it’s supposed to be a curtsy, Your Majesty?” Luna shrugged. “Times certainly have changed. How does the school fare in its struggles?” “We’re working hard,” Cheerilee started. “We’ve put so much into this place; we’ll fight to keep it alive.” The alicorn nodded. “If I may, Your Majesty; is something bothering you?” Luna met the worried eyes of the earth pony. “The eyes of Equestria are upon us. This school is the first thing my name has been attached to since I broke my self-imposed exile.” She gave a deep breath. “I am made so proud by the things I hear that you have accomplished, and yet we stand on the brink of failure.” She absent-mindedly played with a loose cobblestone. “I wish I had my sister’s wisdom. She has an extra millennium of experience ruling, and sometimes I am surprised at the fierce insight she offers.” Luna lifted her head to meet the gaze of her audience. “I have yearned to be as successful as she at giving second chances; mayhap I only gave you false hopes.” Cheerilee shook her head; she was preparing to answer the alicorn’s concern when Screwy made her displeasure known. “I say thee nay!” The purple filly stomped on the ground in frustration. “A noble band of the motley and downtrodden now stands together. Whatever the morrow brings, seeds of joy and friendship have been sown that shall grow for a lifetime. I swear by the Obsidian Trident and the Beard of the Foamrider that her sacrifices shall not be in vain.” Luna blinked. “Do I really sound like that?” Cheerilee shrugged. The princess started to giggle, and the schoolmare joined in. The Princess smiled at the young and determined filly. “My little pony, I know that whatever happens I’ll be proud that you and Cheerilee found each other.” The alicorn stretched her wings and took to the air, only stopping when Screwy shouted, “Wait!” Luna hesitated. “Why, my pony?” Screwball shivered with effort; she coughed up a glob of something dark and red. She looked imploringly at the Princess as she strained to speak. “Because you’re lonely. You speak funny and people don’t understand you. You worry that everyone will hate you and you’re still trying to help.” Screwball gritted her teeth; Luna looked worriedly at the purple pony as she struggled to regain her composure. “Come home and have dinner with us!” A single bloody tear rolled out of Screwy’s eye as she bit her lip. “Please?” Luna gently landed in front of Screwy; she wiped the red trail off the quivering earth pony’s face. “How can I resist such an eloquent plea?” Screwy bounced up and down in relief. Cheerilee felt a wave of pride flush through her. “Let’s hit the marketplace; I think this calls for extra cranberries.” She made eyes at Screwy. “Maybe we can even have a guest or two over.” Flip strained at the cart harness while groaning. “Remind me again why the pegasus gets to pull?” “Because Quest said we needed the full equipment, making you the muscle,” Crunch replied. He kept his eyes on the map hovering in front of him as he dodged a streetlamp; years of reading while navigating the school hallways served him well. He stepped over a large pile of old chocolate milk bottles. “I myself am too valuable as a navigator, whilst the Lady Luster beside me should not be pulling a cart when a gentleman could. Be quiet now so I may locate Miss Cheerilee’s house.” The green-coated filly to Crunch’s side gave a flattered nicker. “If I knew you blokes were gentlemen I would’ve started hanging with you years ago.” The winged gamer shook his head as the three students navigated down the dark Old Canterlot street. “I could’ve read the map.” Crunch lifted his eyes from the parchment for the first time since they picked up Luster. “The last time you mapped our characters fell in seventeen pit traps.” Flip shrugged. “Could’ve happened to anyone.” “Flip,” Crunch said with a sigh. “They were all the same pit.” Luster started outright laughing as they came to the end of the street. The irregular stream of bottles lead to an overflowing alley. Crunch cleared his throat. "I think our good teacher’s domicile is beyond.” Flip kicked the bottles aside. “Man, this is weird.” He suddenly gasped as he felt more weight being piled into the cart. He turned an gave a irritated glare at the abashed pink-haired filly as she stacked the cart higher with the glass refuse. “Don’t look at me,” Luster countered. “These bottles get one a one-bit deposit each.” Crunch knocked politely on the door as he looked disdainfully at his friend. “And that mindset, my dear Flip, is why our lovely new compatriot shall increase our treasure and experience haul exponentially. She can focus fully on the economics whilst I keep your character alive.” Crunch shrugged. “I just don’t get why Quest said this game was so important.” The door to Cheerilee’s apartment opened. Past the cornucopia of hanging plants was a scene that dropped the young ponies to their knees reflexively. The Dusky Princess of the Dark lifted her hooves into the air as she triumphantly bellowed, shaking the table in front of her. “Huzzah! I highly succeeded at the roll! The damage is thus doubled!” Cheerilee’s apartment was a scattered mess. All the usual gardening and grading tools had been pushed to the side; a field of textbooks now occupied the couch. The kitchen was a field of used dishes and food preparation tools. The table, free of food, now held an improvised map; Screwball knocked over a saltshaker and Quest nodded from behind a wooden screen with images of sea pony warriors imprinted on it. Cheerilee stood at the door, beckoning the prostrate teens to stand. “Come on. Screwy wanted to share something special with our new friend.” She grinned as she lead the astonished teens to the table. The young ponies took up seats around the table; Flip unrolled the map as Crunch levitated small metal figures out of a travel case. Luster gulped nervously. “Your Majesty…you’re playing with us tonight?” The Princess smile. “Tonight I am not thy Majesty. Thou shall refer to me as Moon Catcher, earth pony ranger and master trapper! My Necklace of the Conch shall allow me to traverse the ocean depths in search of adventure.” Quest nervously looked up from his notes at Luna and Screwball, and then switched his gaze to Crunch. Crunch met his friend’s stare, then turned to Luster. They both suddenly glowered at Flip with a message so intent no spoken words were needed. Flip, they mentally commanded in the telepathy that only teenage boys could share. Don’t you dare buck this night up for me. He wiped his sweating brow. No pressure, right guys. “So,” said the young pegasus said with no hint of apprehension. “Are you gaming with us, Miss?” Cheerilee shook her head. “I’m too exhausted. Maybe I’ll try next time.” Quest raised his eyebrows apprehensively. “Do we need to make Luster a character?” The green filly shook her head. “Don’t worry. I took a look at some of those books with the knights and numbers Crunch has. Assuming I’ve got the math right, my character is a metallic-coated unicorn with a mastery of telekinesis, the maximum levels of Beauty and Charisma, and enough spells so she can function underwater. Her name’s Pinnacle.” Quest’s eyes strained to leap from their sockets as he examined her sheet. “You…you made this on your own?” Luster batted her eyelashes at him. “Putting a hero together is like buying things; you just got to recognize the bargains.” Crunch stared at her in silent adoration. Flip cleared his throat. “So, let’s begin. Moon Catcher and Pearlshield meet a group of allied heroes in the Whalebone Badlands…” Cheerilee relaxed on the couch. Her yawns and stretches were answered by a pop so loud she caught one or two glances. Wow, I’m wiped. She flipped over and nuzzled her pillow. Now to close my eyes for a second. Her thoughts were interrupted as a mint hoof kicked her door open. “Reinforcements are here, sir!” Cheerilee cracked a worried eye open. Oh no. I know that tone of voice. She struggled to raise herself from the couch. As the exhausted schoolmare reclined back she caught the sight of a stunned green unicorn gazing across the now silent room in awe at the Princess. The exhausted mare waved a hoof as lighting flashed outside. “Please be calm, Your Majesty. It’s just an old friend come to visit.” Turning her weary head felt like pulling the moon down from orbit to the weary teacher. “Lyra, what’re you doing here?” The perpetually perky pony recovered as best as she could. “I’m just the first of many, Lee! Well, at least two. I have a whole cart of supplies and good wishes from Ponyville.” She levitated an envelope out of the cart into the exhausted mare’s lap. “This is from Ditzy; she said it was very important that I bring it. Have you two been working on something?” Cheerilee nodded; the envelope’s delivery seemed to stir pleasant thoughts. “One of the most important things I’ve ever done.” The bouncy musician settled on the couch, sitting in her own idiom. She glanced at her friend. “You know, you’ve got that ‘human-sitting’ thing down a lot better. Ugh, don’t remind me. My back started hurting the moment you made me think about it. “I wouldn’t know, Lyra. You read all the Humanworld novels; I never got far into the second book.” Cheerilee adjusted her posture, draping herself over the edge of the couch. The sudden silence stole Cheerilee’s attention; all the boys at the table were looking at the attractive noble mare sitting in her peculiar way. An angry alicorn gaze showed impatience with the interruption. “Let’s take this conversation outside.” Under the moonlight the two friends laughed; one chortled uproariously while the other only softly snickered. “Seriously? Bon-Bon went into the cake headfirst? You wouldn’t happen to be exaggerating now, would you Miss Heartstrings?” The unicorn shook her head. “Man, it’s good to talk to you again. I’ve missed you these past few months.” She suddenly grabbed the exhausted mare into a bearhug. “Now we get to see other everyday!” Cheerilee croaked out a questioning squeak through the strangulation. Lyra released her. “I’ve got a few weeks between concerts. I convinced Bon-Bon to let me come over and help you out.” A playful hoof hit the teacher in the shoulder. “She’s a little jealous, but she understands how important your friendship is to me.” The somber tone switched gears again. "So, shall we go out to dance?” The mint smile was infectious. Maybe I could go for an hour; it’s honestly not that late. “We can dance if you want to, Lyra. You didn’t forget that, did you?” The green partypony smacked her friend in the shoulder. “That’s the spirit, ‘Lee! I know a hopping club on the edge of New Canterlot where some agile mare could sweep you off your flank.” “Lyra, I'm not sure I remember how to swing that way.” She stretched her limbs out and yawned. “Flower Flank, in my hooves you’ll swing a lot of ways.” She looked at her friend’s long suffering smile. Cheerilee's eyes held painful memories. “I mean on the dance floor, I promise.” She placed a hoof gingerly on the schoolmare’s side. “We’ve got plenty of battles to fight tomorrow; let’s celebrate tonight.” The schoolteacher stood as she triumphed over exhaustion. “Heartstrings, sometimes I think you’re delirious the way you run me down. Why do you always pop up when I need you?” The unicorn’s heart jumped a little. Because if things were a little different, you could’ve been the one. She walked over to her fuchsia friend and gave her a tender hug. “You never gave up on me.” They stood there for a while under the moonlight. A half hour and a ride on a taxi cart later, the two laughing friends found themselves in front of a brightly-lit club. The flashing lights marked it as ‘The Unstable.’ Lyra shook her head in disappointment. “Man, this place was cooler when it was the ‘Crazy Corral.’ Let’s give it a shot. Her friend only looked on in confusion. “Hey, Lyra?” The mint musician pushed through the club doors. “Yeah, Flower Flank?” “What’s a ‘man’?" The two friends shortly found themselves on the dance floor. Both of them soon commanded a crowd. Lyra had the superior rhythm; she moved elegantly and flawlessly. Cheerilee's dance skills were by no means unimpressive, but she drew the crowd through bouncing enthusiasm. Shortly the girls from Ponyville found themselves out of breath. As they grinned, the DJ threw a new album onto the player. A loud whinny filled the club. Stand and deliver! I’m the dandy highwaymare that you’re too scared to mention… “Hey, Flower Flank!” “Yes, String Butt?” Lyra smiled. “They’re playing our song.” Cheerilee listened to the memories of years long past playing around her. “Heartstrings, let’s rest this one out. I’m hitting the bar.” They idea was greeted with clops of applause. “Let’s bring back that funny drunken mare I’ve heard so much about.” Soon the friends found themselves drinking together. An athletic bartending mare mixed up cocktails for the two giggling girls while they waxed nostalgic. Their conversation was interrupted by a voice behind them. “Oh, look at that! It’s the exile.” Lyra stopped in midsentence as another voice joined in. “I wonder why she bothered to grace Canterlot with her presence.” Cheerilee felt a chill go down her spine. Lyra looked to the barmare. “Pardon me,” she stated calmly. “Could I have a beer? Any kind will do.” A familiar fear coursed through Cheerilee’s veins. Oh, please don’t let that happen tonight. She’s been happy for so long. She turned around to see a group of four hipster ponies barely controlling laughter. She had been a schoolmare long enough to recognize how bullies work. She looked at the purple-coated pegasus that instincts told her was the ringleader. “Please leave us alone.” The mare ignored her; she only tittered in response. “She went all the way to Ponyville, didn’t she? I guess you have to go that far when your tastes deviate that far from the norm.” The bottle exploded in Lyra’s telekinectic grasp. A shard flew past her cheek, drawing a crimson bead down her face. The enraged unicorn seemed not to notice. “Okay. Alright.” She turned to the stunned group. “So, who’s first?” She lowered her head and pawed the ground with her hoof. “Who gets to be the first?” A crowd started to gather around the disturbance. The amused group of fillies laughed at Lyra. Oh buck, thought Cheerilee. They have no idea what they just did. A flood of memories filled Cheerilee. She was staring through time at a blood-spitting teenage Lyra. The defiant filly stood surrounded by sneering schoolmates. A bent over Cloud Kicker was already rolling on her back as her crony Lily Blossom held a hoof to her own leaking nose. The mint unicorn bared her teeth in a scary grin as she looked at the mob that outnumbered her. “Who’s next,” she had asked calmly that day at recess. “Who gets to be lucky number three?” The terrified mare snapped out of her remembrance. She quickly superimposed herself between Lyra and the pegasus. The Canterlot pony sniffed at the intervention. “Miss, I’d advise you to stay out of this." A snicker was the response. "What makes you think two of you can handle us any better than one?” The earth mare shook her head with a pleading look. “I’m not fighting at her side.” Cheerilee could swear she saw Lyra’s face go pale. The confident popular mare examined the back of her own hoof. “If you won’t even stand by her…” Cheerilee cut her off. “I will stand by her side if we faced the Smooze itself. In this fight, she just doesn’t need me cramping her style.” The clique laughed. The indigo mare tossed her hair back. “What, she’ll do one on four? Did she learn that in Ponyville?” As Lyra stood impassively like a statue, her friend tried to defuse the situation. “You’ll need at least double than that to even phase her. Look at her; she gives no bucks. If you mess with her now you’ll all wake up spitting teeth.” Cheerilee shrugged. “If I get into that fight I’ll probably end up taking a hoof myself.” The ringleader gently laughed; her cohorts shivered in fear. “Miss, I refuse to stand down to a fillyf… ” Two fuchsia hooves grabbed the laughing mare’s head and pulled it closer. “Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” An apprehensive chuckle escaped the filly’s throat. “What… what are you going to do about it?” Cheerilee’s look promised pain. “I’m going to do the worst thing I could imagine.” She pulled the hurting pony so close their noses almost touched. “I’ll let you finish that sentence. Then I’ll stand out of my friend’s way.” A score of minutes later the two found themselves laughing as they wandered through the streets of Old Canterlot. Cheerilee was supporting her unsteady friend as Lyra’s levitatation kept a near empty six-pack in tow. “Did you see those buckers run, ‘Lee? You’re… good at the thing where you mix the words and the stuff and they do things in the brain.” The struggling schoolmare nodded as she pulled the unsteady barroom brawler with her. “Anytime, Lyra.” A pensive green face gave a bashful look to her escort. “I owe you so much, man. I mean…I don’t know what I would’ve done without knowing you in school. I never would’ve found Bon-Bon if you hadn’t egged me on.” She belched unsteadily. “You were right; it gets better.” Cheerilee shook her head as she dragged her oldest friend along. For someone so ready to fight, she’s always been a sappy drunk. She grinned at old memories. This should be okay, as long as she’s not drunk enough to try to kiss me. This time, at least. As the two struggle against unstable hooves a familiar academy pulled into view. The schoolmare stared in surprised as she looked through the gate; the lights were on. Who’s in there at this time of night? The struggling pony pushed the gate open and took her burden into the courtyard; she lowered the nearly unconscious unicorn onto a bench. “Lyra, rest here for a little while.” She cast a glance back and forth until she found a discarded helmet from one of Globe’s battles. “I’m going to go up and check out that light. I’ll be right back to take us back to my house. If you have to spew, spew into this.” Her drunken friend waved a hoof in the air and started drawing into an unconscious, snoring ball. As the curious teacher opened the door with trepidation, she saw Cleansweep standing in the main intersection. Even through his dark glasses the stallion looked nervous as he stared into one of the classroom. Cheerilee softly trotted over to him; her whisper made the green custodian jump; his hazmat helmet mark was visibly vibrating. “Sweep, is there an intruder in the school?” He shook his head with force. “Some is in Red’s room though, right?” He drew a nervous smile and nodded. “Well, I’ll go tell them to scram.” The bold pony cantered into the science room. “Excuse me, but office hours are only between…” She paused, dumbstruck. Red’s desked housed a three-dimensional model of the sun. A student had made the cross-sectioned sphere for a project. An ivory alicorn regarded the crafted artwork. “Do you think it captured the good side?” Cheerilee dropped to the ground at the sight of the Mare of the Morning. She averted her eyes; she prostrated as hard as she could. As silence continued she slowly and cautiously cracked open a single eyelid. She saw a perfectly formed tongue rolling around outside a pair of alabaster lips. Two eyes alight with mischief frame the regal face. Is Princess Celestia…making faces at me? The alicorn suddenly crossed her eyes and blew an impressive raspberry at the earth pony. Cheerilee was helpless to resist shaking with laughter. She rolled onto her back, quivering and giggling. After a minute, she silenced herself and looked at Celestia. The Princess smiled and beckoned her to rise, then started giggling to herself. “I always love doing that! You’d be surprised how long some ponies keep their eyes closed.” Cheerilee stood as she wiped tears from her eyes. “Do you really always do that, your Majesty?” The alicorn’s smile briefly disappeared. “It’s lonely sometimes to be in a room where every pony is afraid to look at you.” The grin quickly reappeared. Cheerilee’s mind raced. She wears a mask just like me; I use it for the students, but she has to wear it for everyone. A more pressing concern came to the forefront of her mind. “Your Majesty, what brings you to the school after hours?” Celestia regarded the nervous filly with curiosity. “The workings of this building consume my sister’s thoughts. I wanted to see what the fuss was about.” The surprised schoolteacher scanned the area. “Is it safe for you to be here without your guards, My Lady?” The nonplussed ruler raised an eyebrow. “You’re right. They should be here in case Discord shows up; they could buck him in the face.” The earth pony felt a strangled yelp get caught in her throat. Does she know? If I tell her, will he step up his game? Her answer came when Celestia leaned close to her. “That’s a joke, Cheerilee. Calm down.” Celestia started walking into Cheerilee’s classroom, gesturing for her to follow. The teacher kept as respectful a distance as her curiosity would allow her. She saw the alicorn’s gaze sweep over the graded assignments pasted to her wall; Celestia smiled with appreciation. “It is a good thing to let your students know how much you really appreciate them. So, my sister tells me you will be holding a festival here?” The fuchsia mare swallowed. “Indeed, Your Majesty. We’ll be putting on an event for each of our subjects to show the townsfolk why the children need us.” Celestia nodded as Cheerilee continued. “I do wonder something, Your Highness.” The monarch tilted her head. “If you support what we’re doing here, why don’t you pass a royal decree to save the school?” Celestia’s horn glowed as she closed the classroom door. As soon as the two mares were alone she dropped onto her haunches. “Cheerilee, there is an old body of rules and statutes in Equestrian law that restrict my actions. They date back centuries.” The teacher nodded. She walked over to her desk and opened a box of donuts left over form from the volunteer meeting. Suddenly thinking better of it, she placed the box on the floor between the Princess and herself. Celestia’s eyes lit up with glee. She immediately began attacking the pastries. As Celestia devoured the pastries she noticed Cheerilee’s shocked expression. She spoke through a mouth that was not entirely empty of donuts. “Trust me, if more mares could exercise using nuclear fusion they’d never have to diet.” Cheerilee let out another laugh as she started on her own donut. “Princess, as the ruler of Equestria, couldn’t you somehow find a way around those laws?” Celestia blinked. “I hope not. I wrote them very specifically to avoid that.” Cheerilee stared. “You wrote the laws that stand in your way?” The alicorn rolled her eyes. “Not single-handedly. My sister can work magic with tax codes.” She saw Cheerilee’s uncomprehending expression of confusion and sighed. “My little pony, I could easily decree that the school remain open. I could go on to make sure Old Canterlot accepts my charity donations and uses them for the academy. They may need to restructure their economy; I could offer suggestions they would feel obligated to take.” Celestia chewed a donut. “If there’s a labor problem, some ponies may have to move here and others move out to spread skills through the job pool. I’m sure they’d do it if I asked.” Cheerilee listened attentively. “It would certainly all happen just like that. I’d just have to open my mouth – and I’m absolutely terrified of that.” She thoughtfully chewed a donut. “The night before Luna became Nightmare Moon she gave me a wager. Luna was crazed with jealousy; she offered to forget all of her demands if I did a single thing.” Celestia’s eyes swelled with painful remembrances; Cheerilee almost begged her to stop. “I’d like to think it was the dark thing that was Nightmare Moon talking. She said she would go into exile if I just asked one family to lead their only child into the woods and sacrifice them to me. I was to tell them it was for a matter of importance I couldn’t explain, but the fate of Equestria hung in the balance. ‘Surely no one would do such a thing, even for you? Just wait until they refuse and you’ll be rid of me forever,’ she told me.” Cheerilee couldn’t move a muscle if she wanted. “I never had the heart to find out. The moment I banished her I set about codifying the laws to strip myself of almost all political power. I couldn’t find a better way to resolve my greatest struggle except to banish my only sister; pony kind ill deserves a savior such as I.” The alicorn’s eyes were pointing downwards. A tear rolled onto the floor before she willed the smiling mask back onto her expression. Cheerilee stood up and walked over to Celestia. Am I really brave enough to do this? She laid a hoof on the shoulder of the immortal monarch of the her kingdom. “Princess, the reason we love you…the reason we’d all walk into Nightmare Valley for you if you asked is that we know you’d never tell us to do something as awful as Nightmare Moon suggested. We do what you say because of how much you care for us.” In for a bit…What the Hay, might as well go all out. If this is a mistake the only thing that could happen is the royal bodyguards showing up now and kicking me in the head. Celestia’s expression crumbled into a look of surprise as Cheerilee put her hooves around the neck of the reclining alicorn. This is such a bad idea. Maybe I’ll end up on an asteroid. Actually, I hear comet Ingram’s got a nice view every few decades. “We love you. Your sister loves you more. She talks about how much she wants you to be proud of her. She forgave you, and the awful thing that made that bet is gone.” Gonna go to space, gonna go to space… Celestia’s neutral tone cut through the quiet. “Cheerilee of Ponyville, you have done something no other pony has done in generations.” Okay, I’ll be sucking cold vacuum in five…four…three… Cheerilee felt the intensely warm neck of the Princess lean onto hers; her ear momentarily caught the sound of a heartbeat that kept in unison with a core of raging hydrogen. After a few quiet and peaceful moments, the monarch raised her head out of the hug and smiled. It was not the royal smile given to crowds, nor was it the mask raised by bedraggled teachers and immortal royalty to assure nervous students and subjects. It was a smile of genuine joy. “Thank you.” Yay! Awesome! No space for me! Celestia stood up. “Miss Cheerilee, I shall do everything that is allowed within my power to help. The final hurdle must be jumped by you. You have used the power of friendship to rally this faculty; have faith in it to carry you forward.” Cheerilee feel back onto the floor, relieved. “I’ll do everything I can to save this space...place! I mean, ‘place’! The Sister to the Stars merely smiled. She patted Cheerilee’s head with her hoof. Opening the window, she flew out gracefully. Suddenly she turned to the classroom, staring in confusion. “I sense something; a presence I’ve not felt in…” She shook her head. As if remembering a final task, she turned to the schoolmare. “By the way, mare of inspiration…could you try to get Twilight to lighten up a little toward me as well? She still occasionally worries that I’ll pitch her into the cosmos or something similar. How ridiculous is that?” Cheerilee just grinned and waved as the alicorn teleported out. She walked over to her desk, head supported on her hooves. The schoolmare smiled for a few minutes, lost in thought. Her smile gradually faded as she noticed the pile of festival plans sharing fighting for space with a stack of ungraded assignments. It never stops coming, does it? A draconequus smiled with anticipation. Let's establish the players, now... Cheerile’s living room floor was filled with snoring teenagers. Luna kept guard over them; she stared out the window at her sky, lost in thought. Her sister was briefly silhouetted against the Moon, and she breathed deeply. I will impress you this time, Celestia. Placeholder nervously shrunk from the attention of Prunecrop; the administrator sat in Placeholder’s living room as he regaled Placeholder with his plans against the schoolmare. Goldy and Globe shared a look over coffee at a diner. Their expressions showed how worried they were. Red walked through the streets slowly; his mind was on someone else. The stallion looked up at the Moon, his heart filled with the kind of prayers to Luna that only astronomy-minded ponies offered nowadays. Discord sat on the roof of the school holding a conductor’s baton. He waved in the air to the buffalo brass band, and then gently gestured to the rooster mariachi band to begin. “Places, everyone!” Note to the readers: For this musical interlude, our dedicated cast have adapted a number from the popular Humanworld series of novels; specifically, the series about vampires and slaying them. If you're not familiar with that particular walk through the fire, you may find the original 'human' version here. In order to really hear our devoted players sing, read along while playing this instrumental version in the background. Please imagine our steadfast heroine's voice beginning at ten seconds in. Regardless, as our dedicated if demented draconequus begins the first few bars, let’s return to the star of our show… CHEERILEE: The unknown future frightens me. I look into it and it’s blank. I’ll walk on through It’s the only thing to do. I’m going to kick some flank! The other teachers look to me I'll smile hard to fan the flames. I've save the day, or slowly walk away. I think I hear the train. Now we are down to the wire There’s nowhere left to turn I will go down to the wire To help them… PRUNECROP: That classroom menace torments me. But now she's helpless I've no doubt. She's sure to fail, Get run out on a rail! PLACEHOLDER: ...I need to help her out. LUNA: For like a moth to a fire She'll risk for what she yearns She will go down to the wire To help them... RED: Can I do a thing to aid her? Will this clumsy screw-up save her? I've just found her; life is never fair. GOLDY: We'll stand with her while she needs us GLOBE: If we triumph she won’t leave us. Imagine just what that would do to Glare. TEACHERS: We’ll help her through It’s what we’ve always meant to do And now we’re down to the wire... CHEERILEE: The kids all place their hopes on me I’ll help them all be without fear. RED: I have no fear CHERRILEE: Am I too late To change my students’ fates; RED: While we’re together CHEERILEE: Can they be happy here? GLOBE: She made all us teachers better. PRUNECROP: No there is no one to save her! GOLDY: Everyone will try to do their part. CHEERILEE: Rocking like an ocean. PRUNECROP: She can’t help the school anyhow! LYRA: I think that beer’s coming up now! RED: What’s it going to take to win her heart? LUNA: She’s a friend to me. CHEERILEE: Tomorrow’s rain is finally falling all the same. TEACHERS TOGETHER: So we are down to the wire A path from we won’t turn And we’ll go down to the wire To help them Learn. Help them learn. Help them learn. Help them learn! (Cheerilee lets her head fall onto her desk) DISCORD: Showtime!