//------------------------------// // "Applejack" // Story: It Happened One April Foal's Day // by Dreadnought //------------------------------// In the east the first rays of dawn broke the horizon. The trees horded the sunshine, casting long dark shadows upon the ground. Meanwhile, in a secluded clearing, a small pond lay cold and still. A blue pegasus silently glided down and effortlessly landed in the clearing. None who knew her would be amazed at her mastery of flight. They would, however, be surprised by two odd behaviors. First, on a day off from work, it was highly unusual to see her up and about before noon. Second, the stetson hat she wore was the trademark of another mare. The pegasus approached the pond and gazed at her reflection. She studied it for some time, almost as if she would never see it again. In the pond, a blue pegasus mare with pink eyes and a rainbow mane stared back. At last, she reached up into her hat and withdrew a small glass vial filled with a thick green sludge. She also retrieved a single golden strand of hair. Popping the cork, she dunked the hair into the vile vial and sloshed it around for a moment. Finally, she steeled herself for the foul flavor and downed the contents. She stood there waiting for something to happen.... Nothing. She began impatiently tapping her hoof on the ground. Nothing.... She sighed, “Well, I guess it’s a dud.” Suddenly, she dropped the vial and it shattered upon the ground. She grimaced in agonizing pain and clutched her barrel tightly, barely managing to stay standing. Her wings flared and stretched to the greatest span they ever had. Then, they began jerking back and forth, twisting and contorting into grotesque unnatural shapes as the joints popped like popcorn over the stove. She stared in horror as her beloved wings dissolved back into her sides. Releasing her barrel, she gasped for air. She watched as her blue fur turned orange and her rainbow tail transformed into solid gold. Even her cutie mark melted away, replaced by a trio of red apples. For a long time she just stood there, panting heavily, until she at last approached the pond again. The reflection was familiar, yet at the same time foreign. Green eyes shone in large eyes framed by a friendly, freckled face. A golden windswept mane hung lazily from her neck and the brown stetson rested firmly on top of her head. Only one thing left to do. After tying her mane and tail, the transformation into the perfect doppelganger was complete. The mare introduced herself, “I’m Applejack.” The voice was not her own but belonged to the reflection. “Yee haw.” She tried again, “Yee haw?” She reared up onto her back legs and cried, “YEEEEEE HAW!” Falling back down onto all fours, she continued, “Cornsarnit! Dangnabbit! Land sakes! What in tarnation?” A grin split her face. “Ah’m Applejack, y’all!” With that, she turned and disappeared into the orchard.... “Applejack” continued her trot through the forest of trees. The morning was cool and quiet with a light dew upon the soft grass. A gentle breeze blew through the orchard, carrying the sweet perfume of ripe apples and the melody of songbirds. She began to understand why Applejack truly loved the farm. “There you are!” came a voice. She spun in place to see a little yellow earth pony with an oversized pink bow. “Oh hi, Apple Bloom.” “Applejack, Granny Smith said breakfast is ’bout ready.” “Oh boy breakfast! I skipped it this morning. I’m starving!” replied the older mare, arching her back as if she were willing non-existent wings to lift her in the excitement. Apple Bloom gave her “sister” a strange look. “Skipped it? What do yah mean?” “Nothing!” Rainbow Dash internally cringed at the slip and paused for the slightest of moments to get back into character. “Now why don’t we all mosey back to that there farmhouse, suga’cube?” she said with an extra-large grin. Apple Bloom continued to give her a strange look but said “Alright” and led the way back to the house. After a short walk the home to four generations of Apples came into view. As they approached the kitchen door, the air became filled with the smell of fresh pancakes and the sounds of something sizzling on the stove and the shuffling of dishes. “There y’all are, we’re ’bout ready to eat,” said Granny Smith as she looked up from the stove at the pair of ponies entering the kitchen. “Eeyup,” added Big Mac as he set the table. “Applejack was out fer a mornin’ walk in the orchard,” explained Apple Bloom. Rainbow Dash smiled and swung her right foreleg, “Yer darn tootin’!” “Well, git yer flanks to the table so we can have some breakfast,” ordered Granny Smith. Rainbow Dash didn’t have to be told twice, sprinting to an open seat at the table. Soon her plate was laden with pancakes, a muffin, and hay sausage, accompanied by a big bowl of sliced apples and a glass of amber liquid. Granny Smith sat down with the rest of the family and the Apples began to eat. Rainbow Dash glanced around in eager anticipation. “Ain’t cha’ hungry?” asked Granny Smith. “Oh, right,” said Rainbow Dash as she loaded butter and syrup all over her pancakes. She cut a big, sticky piece and shoved it into her mouth. A look of confusion spread across her face. “Is this apple butter and apple syrup on an apple pancake?” “Eeyup,” said Big Mac. “We all know how much you love it,” said Granny Smith. She let out a sigh before brightening up, “Ah just love me some apples! Cain’t get ’nough of them apples, that’s fo’ sure!” “Eeyup!” “That’s the spirit!” cheered Apple Bloom. Rainbow Dash continued eating her apple syrup and apple butter-covered apple pancakes. She took a big bite of the muffin – an apple muffin. She cut up the sausage – apple-flavored hay sausage. She rolled her eyes. But throughout, she frequently glanced around the kitchen looking for something that was missing. Noticing the strange behavior of the orange mare, Granny Smith asked, “Somethin’ a matter, Applejack?” Rainbow Dash said hesitantly, “I don’t know.” She got up from the table and opened the back door, hoping to find it waiting outside but found nothing. Closing the door, she awkwardly rubbed her neck, “Is everypony here?” Raising her head from the plate of food she’d been devouring like a ravenous wolf, Apple Bloom asked, “What do yah mean?” Granny Smith said, “Course everypony is here. There’s four members of this here family.” She pointed a hoof at everyone. “One. Two. Three. Four. That’s everyone.” “Eeyup.” “Are we expectin’ company?” asked Apple Bloom, placing her forehooves on the table in eager anticipation of a mystery guest. “No, I... guess not,” said a confused Rainbow Dash. “Awe there, Applejack. Maybe yer comin’ down with somethin’. Come over and let me feel yer head,” commanded Granny Smith. Rainbow Dash trotted over, and the elderly mare placed a hoof on the orange pony’s head. “A little warm. No wonder yer not feelin’ like yerself today. But,” she smiled, “Ah know what’ll keep the doctor away.... More apples!” “Eeyup!” said Big Mac as he loaded even more apple pancakes onto Rainbow Dash’s plate. She sighed as she took a gulp of apple juice and looked at her untouched bowl of apple slices. After breakfast, Rainbow Dash helped clear the table and wash the dishes, though she kept looking around trying to find the somepony she was looking for. A look of worry began to grow on her face. When the kitchen was spick and span, she said, “I’m going into town. I need to find somepony.” “Now hold on there, youngin’,” said Granny Smith. “You know today is Big Mac’s turn to run the stand. You got yer mornin’ chores to do.” Rainbow Dash cocked her head. “Chores?” “Eeyup,” confirmed Big Mac. “What chores?” The two other adults shared curious looks. “You know,” Apple Bloom started as she packed her saddlebags for school, “choppin’ the firewood, waterin’ the garden, feedin’ the chickens an’ collectin’ the eggs.” “And feedin’ an’ cleanin’ the hogs,” added Granny Smith. “Eeyup.” “But –” “No ‘buts’ Applejack, you can go play with yer friends later.” Rainbow Dash deflated and hung her head. “Okay.” She headed outside. “Applejack, where yah goin’?” asked Apple Bloom as she galloped to catch up with “Applejack”. “I’m going to chop the firewood,” Rainbow Dash explained. “Uh, the ax is in the toolshed that away,” said Apple Bloom as she pointed in the opposite direction. “Of course it is,” sighed Rainbow Dash as she turned and headed to the small building on the other side of the farmhouse. Swish! Chop! The log split in two. Rainbow Dash paused to tip her hat and wipe the sweat from her brow. It had taken a while, but she was finally done. Chopping wood was difficult work. No wonder Applejack was so strong! Rainbow Dash had used muscles that she didn’t even know that she had. Still, she was surprised she was able to do the work at all. She mused that, in addition to giving her Applejack’s form, Zecora’s polyjuice potion must have given her Applejack’s earth pony strength as well. That was the only way to explain how she had lifted the heavy steel ax and swung it with such force to split massive logs with only a single strike. With that done, now she could... move onto another chore. What was next? Oh, right, watering the garden. She was sure that she could get it done in ten seconds flat! Rainbow Dash rubbed her head as she surveyed the garden. It wasn’t like Fluttershy’s garden or the small family plots found behind many of the houses in Ponyville. No, this was a vast field easily spanning several acres. It would take hours to water this by hoof. Luckily, there was an intricate network of pipes crisscrossing the field. She turned a valve and waited expectantly. Nothing. She went on to the next valve and turned it. Again, nothing. This process was repeated several more times, but not a single drop watered the garden. Something wasn’t right. Finally she approached a large valve and decided to give it a try. Nothing. The old, rusty wheel was stuck. She stood up, placing her forehooves on the wheel and started applying that newfound earth pony strength she had acquired. Still nothing. She straddled the pipe to get better leverage and tried again. She put all her strength into turning the valve. Suddenly, it spun wide open. Rainbow Dash’s elation was cut short when she felt a rush of water under her butt that lifted her up, flipping her midair. She landed with a Thud! on the ground and looked up to see a small geyser of water shooting into the sky before falling as an artificial rain. “Ow,” she groaned. By late morning, “Applejack” had finished most of her chores. Yeah, parts of the garden had been turned into a muddy quagmire and other parts had barely seen a drop of water. But she crossed that off her mental checklist. And fully half of the day’s haul of eggs had been casualties, dropped as she fled from the angry chickens attacking her for stealing their eggs. But she crossed that off as well. She only needed to feed and clean the hogs then she could head into town and look for the real Applejack. She sincerely hoped that something terrible hadn’t befallen her best friend. Rainbow Dash arrived at the pigpen, a large group of mud-covered hogs staring up at the familiar orange mare expectantly. She dumped the bucket of slop into the trough and the pigs eagerly gorged themselves. They only stopped for a moment when they heard some loud noise off in the distance. Still, Rainbow Dash was too tired to care. All she wanted to do was get the hogs cleaned so she could finish her chores. She grabbed a large brush and a bucket of soapy water and opened the gate. Upon hearing the squeak of the hinges, the hogs looked up and saw the bucket and brush and did what their instincts told them to do – run! “Oh no you don’t!” cried Rainbow Dash. She took off after them, but they ran this way and that, in circles and squares and back and forth. Rainbow Dash spied a little piglet and zeroed in on it. She pumped her legs fast closing the distance on the squealing pig. The piglet cut to the left and Rainbow Dash came within a foreleg’s reach – until her hooves slipped out from under her and she fell down. All the hogs stopped to watch the mud-covered pony trying and failing to stand up. “Granny?” called a dirty, disheveled pony covered in filth as she entered the house. The grandmare entered the kitchen. Instantly her eyes widened and her jaw fell open. “Land sakes child! What happened to yah, Applejack?” “Cleaning the hogs is harder than it sounds,” replied Rainbow Dash. “I got all the chores done, so I’m headed into town.” Granny shook her head. “You ain’t goin’ nowhere lookin’ like that! We may not be as particular ’bout the way we look as Rarity, but no grandfoal of mine is goin’ into town lookin’ like she spent the last year bathing in the swamp.” “But –” Granny waved her off. “Ah won’t have yah traipsing through the house leavin’ mud all over the place. Go wash up using the tub by the barn. It hasn’t been used nearly as much since Apple Bloom an’ her friends got their cutie marks.” “Yes, Granny,” sighed Rainbow Dash as she turned and left the kitchen. A while later a clean, though still somewhat wet, orange pony returned to the kitchen. “Granny, I’m headed into town.” Granny was reading a book as Big Mac stood at the stove. Looking up, Granny Smith noted, “It’s lunchtime.” “Eeyup.” Rainbow Dash’s stomach let out a large growl, and she sighed in resignation. She sat down and shortly Big Mac filled everypony’s plate. Taking a sniff, she began, “Is that –” “Apple hash,” finished Granny Smith. “Eeyup,” said Big Mac as he joined the other two. Rainbow cocked an eyebrow as only Applejack could. “Seriously?” “Eeyup.” “I mean, I know the Apples are real big into – apples, but this is getting ridiculous.” Putting her fork down, Granny Smith asked, “Somethin’ the matter, Applejack?” For a moment, Rainbow Dash was at war with herself. On the one hoof, the polyjuice had worked perfectly and she looked and sounded like the real thing. On the other hoof, the prank wasn’t complete without the real Applejack. Then again, everypony believed she was the farmpony, so she could keep this going as long as it took. But what had happened to the real Applejack? Nervously she fidgeted, “Yeah, there’s something you all should know.... I’m not really Applejack. I’m Rainbow Dash.” The other two ponies stared at each other. Then, Big Mac began to snicker followed by Granny Smith. “What?” A smiling Granny Smith said, “You thought you got us? Well yer wrong!” “Eeyup.” “April Foal’s Day has been around since Ah was a filly.” “Eeyup.” She shook her head. “Ah’m just disappointed in yah, Applejack. That’s a pretty lame prank. Claimin’ yer Rainbow Dash when Ah can tell with mah own eyes an’ ears who yah really are.” “Eeyup.” “But –” attempted Rainbow Dash. Granny Smith continued, “Next year, yah should put some more effort into yer prank, like that Rainbow Dash friend of yers.” “Eeyup.” Rainbow Dash protested, “No, really. I’m Rainbow Dash. I used this potion to turn into Applejack and I don’t know where the real Applejack is.” The two began openly laughing, Big Mac pounding the table with a hoof. “No, I can prove it. Ask me something only the real Rainbow Dash would know.” Granny Smith rubbed her chin in thought for a while. “What’s the best angle of attack for maximum lift-to-drag?” Rainbow Dash faltered, “Okay, pegasus aerodynamics was never really my strong suit. But you can – hold on a moment, how do you know about something like that?” Granny Smith smiled, “Ah dated a handsome rainbow-maned pegasus stallion before Ah met yer grandfather.” “You did?” gasped Rainbow Dash. She chuckled, “Ah haven’t told yah everything, Applejack.” Rainbow Dash sat speechless. “Now Applejack,” Granny Smith said soothingly, “yah gave it a good try, but now yah need to git out to the orchard and applebuck.” “Eeyup.” “But you said I could go into town when I was done with my chores!” Granny nodded, “Ah said when yah are done with yer morning chores. But yah wasted all mornin’ doin’ them. Now it’s time tah do afternoon chores.” “Eeyup.” “But – But –” Rainbow Dash protested in vain. Bam! Rainbow Dash looked up and saw the apple swing back and forth on its branch. She turned and reared onto her front legs then shot her back legs into the tree trunk. Bam! She looked up and again the same apple taunted her, never snapping free. She heard a rumble and saw Big Mac hauling a wagon of apples towards the barn. “Big Mac?” she called. He stopped then gave her a lazy stare. “Eeyup?” “You know Applejack, right?” “Eeyup.” “You two grew up together?” “Eeyup.” “You know here like the back of your hoof?” “Eeyup.” “And you could pick out the real Applejack from a crowd of strangers?” “Eeyup.” “And you can tell that I’m not the real Applejack?” “Nnope.” He turned and continued hauling the apples towards the barn. Out of frustration Rainbow Dash kicked the tree. A moment later the elusive apple bounced off her head. Rainbow Dash held her breath as she listened through the door intently. All she could hear was the loud snoring that rivaled her own. Good. With Granny Smith asleep, she could carry out her new plan. She carefully walked down the hall, ever cognizant of squeaky floorboards that could rouse the napping matriarch. She opened the bedroom door and looked around. Upon a shelf stood a row of books. Scanning the titles, she found what she was looking for. She rummaged around the closet, moving foal’s clothing and pink bows out of the way, until she pulled out a potions kit. Five minutes later Rainbow Dash was set up in the kitchen, reading the instructions. “This looks complicated,” she said to herself. “Still, I think I can brew the polyjuice antidote. It’s just a good thing that Apple Bloom has all the ingredients.” She began throwing everything into a pan heating on the stove then put the lid on it. She set the timer for ten minutes and paced around the room, listening to the incessant ticking. She pondered where Applejack could be. It made no sense. This was where the farmpony lived and worked, where could she be? The more she thought about it, the more a terrible thought began gnawing away at her. What if, when she turned into Applejack, the real Applejack disappeared? That couldn’t be it. Zecora knew she wanted Applejack to see this prank. But the zebra did mention a lesson. Could making her friend vanish off the face of Equestria and leaving her with a guilty conscience be the lesson? Perhaps if she took the antidote, the real Applejack would return? Brrrr! cried the timer. Rainbow Dash eagerly went to the stove and removed the lid – Blew! Rainbow Dash stood shellshocked as she and much of the kitchen lay covered in a sticky green slime. The door swung open. “What happened here?” cried Apple Bloom. “I, uh, had an accident,” admitted “Applejack.” Finally the kitchen and the faux-farmpony mare were clean. “That’ll teach yah fer goin’ ’round makin’ potions without any trainin’,” noted Granny Smith. “Y’all made enough messes today, Applejack. Ah don’t want anymore.” “Eeyup.” “Okay, okay,” Rainbow Dash sighed. “Can I finally go into town?” “Nnope.” Rainbow Dash balked, “What? I did all my chores.” “Have y’all forgotten, Applejack?” asked Granny Smith. “It’s yer turn to make dinner.” Rainbow Dash slowly trudged up the stairs, each step an exhausting endeavor. Even with earth pony strength, she was bone tired and could barely keep her eyes open. How did Applejack do this everyday? She couldn’t care less at this point. She pushed open the door to Applejack’s bedroom and flopped onto the bed, falling asleep instantly.