That was a first. I’ve never been embarrassed before. But Princess thinking that Mirage was truly my daughter was more than enough to be that, as was her ‘curiosity’ over how I fathered her.
I did clarify that misunderstanding, both with Princess, and then with Smart and Clover both. Admittedly, my telling Smart ‘she is blood’, was misleading on my part, but I wasn't really thinking at the time. And why is it that not one of them thought that to be ridiculous, and seriously imagined that I am Mirage’s true father?
It raises one particularly uncomfortable question, and several others as well. I’ve never really thought of fatherhood; I have sort of acted as Mirage’s and the girls’ father, but I never felt that way and they didn’t show any particular sign as to the same. More so, I’ve not even had a single thought as to me finding a… mate.
And now…
Now, female ponies sort of ‘stand out’ to me. There is a new attribute to them that draws my eye which I cannot describe, and Princess’ ‘curiosity’ keeps coming back to me, bolstered by the way nopony thought the idea absurd. It’s mildly worrisome.
Particularly as the sight of Princess has become capturing. There is a new feeling in me whenever I see her, one that grows a little whenever she smiles at me, or calls my name.
Mirage herself spent a few days feeling uncomfortable and embarrassed about it before she recovered. She seems to have almost forgotten the incident altogether, though I suspect a reminder might return her to hiding in my mane.
I’ve spent almost a week now simply resting by the fire on the rug. The air outside grows colder and colder, and cold drafts gust in whenever somepony opens a door to the outside; I’ve no real desire to move from the fire in the face of that, and Smart has continued to feed me her food, which keeps me satisfactorily full.
Smart spent several days sleeping by my side, until she grew comfortable enough to take her own room. Mirage spent a night with me before telling me about her bed, which she likened to a cloud, but ‘better’. I let her go without trouble; she enjoys the novelty, and she won’t have it forever.
Smart, thankfully, soon lost her aggression towards unicorns, and I think I have Clover to thank for that. She was so nice and understanding with Smart that Smart calmed down, but to then later learn that Clover was being nice because she herself feared earth ponies was a bit of a surprise. But it seems that they’re both helping the other to overcome their fear and hates, so that’s all good.
I also got to hear a little more about what Smart told me back in my den. I had Clover tell me why the unicorns were here, and the tale she told me was rather interesting to hear, even if I did have to yell a few times at Smart to let her speak.
In brief, the unicorns were apparently putting in their all, while earth ponies and pegasi leaned on their magic and demanded ever more from them, ultimately leading to the unicorns feeling abused.
I now firmly suspect that they all have their own unique tale that make themselves the victim, though Clover was far calmer about it than Smart had been. I might be missing the pegasi version, but I think I’ve gotten to the heart of the conflict:
They all hurt and hate one another because they all hate and hurt one another.
Whenever that began, nopony knew, but apparently, it had been going on since before their first home was buried under snow and ice. Princess, Chancellor, and even Commander, all came here to find a new home for those left behind. All fleeing the encroaching snow and ice, and the other tribes.
They had actually all bumped into one another when Mirage spotted them, and had made up their minds to just go their separate ways and never see one another again, splitting the land here into more or less equal parts, and declaring the fields around the single peak to be neutral ground so no border had to touch another. Peace through separation.
Which seemed to have been working, up until Princess, in the pursuit of helping me, reignited old hates in her attempt to reclaim the fillies.
Smart was able to tell me that unicorn and pegasi battling one another in the peaks was the big reason why Chancellor wanted me to get better. She had wanted me to scare them both off so that the earth ponies could live in peace, without pegasi messing with the weather and unicorns causing avalanches, which was accidental and apparently easy to do, according to Clover, or miscasting spells into the earth pony valleys.
I doubt this conflict will end peacefully at this point. Clover and Smart both told me that as it stood, Commander would undoubtably make a move on his own if the unicorns did not, and Chancellor might take an action as well, since I escaped, depriving her of her first plan, though Smart has no idea what Chancellor may decide to do.
I feel rather responsible for this whole mess. If I had just gone with Mirage and the girls in the first place, Mirage wouldn’t have been captured by unicorns and the fillies wouldn’t have run into the pegasi. Princess wouldn’t have wanted to help me, and in so doing reignited slumbering hates between the pegasi and unicorns, their conflict distressing the earth ponies in turn.
Conflict is assured, but nopony yet knows what shape it’s going to take. Just that it will.
And that it’s going to be bad.
If it does happen…. When it happens, I’m going to side with the unicorns. I’ve a grudge against the Commander, and Chancellor and her ponies did little to earn my respect. The unicorns fear me, but none of them hate me. Princess has been nothing but kind and accepting as well.
But this situation troubles me.
It would trouble me far more, however, if Mirage had not adopted a new habit.
Every night, before she heads to sleep, she comes to me, carrying some book, and reads to me.
Carrying on the long tradition of her ancestors.
I cannot really express how soothing it is to hear her reading to me. It brings to mind many, many memories; ones I often share with her, and Mirage adores hearing about her ancestors. Every moment of hearing her reading takes my mind back, and steals my worries from me.
I watch her leave after the latest, and sigh as I shift on the rug. The days grow colder, conflict on the horizon, Smart and Clover yet to find any hint as to how to get the collar off of me, and this newfound feeling I’ve yet to be able to describe. And, of course, the girls…
Lots to worry about, but Mirage’s reading yet lingers, and help me to relax. The fire’s flickering light the only light now, as the magical ones turn off when it comes to night, I yawn and close my eyes.
“Kitty? Are you awake?” is whispered just as I start to drift off.
I crack open one eye, wondering who it was that was bothering me so late at night.
I see Princess standing in front of me, and she is… She isn’t wearing her tiara, and her normal gown is replaced by a far simpler nightdress. Her necklace is the sole piece of jewelry on her, and the flickering firelight glints off the gold. She seems faintly damp, her mane and tail undone from their normal designs, and I catch a stronger scent of flowers and more from her.
“Princess?” I ask softly, finding the sight of her stunning. She seems… perfect.
She nears me, quietly asking, “Have I disturbed you?” before she delicately sits on the edge of the white carpet, just a few feet away from me.
“No, no.” I tell her, trying to focus. “Why have you come so late at night, Princess?” I ask, shifting up a little.
“There is… something I feel you can answer for me.” Princess says, her voice a touch hesitant, her gaze drifting towards the fire. I wait, and she continues, “About yourself, Mirage, and the fillies.”
“Ask.” I tell her, wondering.
A moment passes before Princess looks at me and begins, “Mirage… she told me many things about you, Kitty, but she… she recently said something rather… strange. She was talking with Clover about the recent snow, and she… she said that she ‘knew the story of Hearth’s Warming’. That she knew about the snow and ice, and about… about me, and Commander Hurricane, and Chancellor Pudding head; things she couldn’t possibly have known about us.”
“When Clover asked her to explain, she panicked, and refused to answer her; saying something about ‘not wanting to mess something up’.” Princess sighs, a troubled look on her face as she looks away slightly. “It reminded me of other strange things. Like how she told us that you arrived here with her and the fillies, but she wouldn’t say from where, nor how it came to be that you have come to care for three fillies, one from each tribe, with her.”
A moment passes before Princess looks at me again, her face troubled. “…What did Mirage mean when she said she knew the story of Hearth’s Warming, Kitty, and why has she been hiding things from us?”
I do not respond for a long time, watching her, the fire crackling softly nearby. Then I slowly tell her, with as much seriousness I can manage to imbue it with, “The knowledge you seek, Princess, is not something you can forget. Once you know it, you can never not know it again. And even if I do tell you, I might not be able to answer your questions anyway.”
“Are you certain you want to know?” I ask her with careful seriousness, watching her watch me.
Her face is unreadable, and she makes no motion as she keeps staring at me. I see her answer before she even speaks; her eyes harden, and I see her determination to know. “I am sure.” she tells me, and I only nod, accepting.
“Mirage, the fillies, and myself came to this land less than a year ago.” I tell her, trying to think of the best way to tell her what I am about to.
“From where?” Princess asks me. “What land did you come from Kitty?”
“…The question is not ‘where’.” I say, and I see Princess hesitate even as I finish, “The question is ‘when’. Mirage, the fillies, and I came to this land from one far distant, yet, the same. We came from this land many years in the future, to arrive here, in this time, in the same place.”
Princess stares as I continue, “Sometime centuries from now are the fillies’ true homes; the field outside this very forest is where their town will one day be. Mirage was born in the same age, which looks back upon this one through the broken lens of oral history and tradition; that tradition being to tell the story they tell each year about the time of cold and ice, the time of conflict and struggle.”
“They tell one another the story of your age, and they call the time when they retell the tale, ‘Hearth’s Warming’.” I finish.
“…Magic eternal.” Princess breathes, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “You… You walked through time.” She says, looking at me again, her expression complicated. “Only the most powerful of unicorns ever entertained the idea of manipulating the moments, and that only in the very heights of their pride…” Princess tells me. “Yet, you walked through unnumbered years, carrying four ponies with you…”
I nod as she says so, watching her. She is taking this far better than I feared she might.
Princess doesn’t say anything more for a moment, her expression still difficult to understand, but there is a sheen of awe, and the hints that she is thinking quickly.
Then she stands, and with her voice a touch desperate, asks me, “Kitty, I, I must know; what is the end of the story of Hearth’s Warming? What is the fate of the unicorns? What is my fate?”
“…The details elude me, Princess.” I tell, her noting the mildly desperate look in her eye. She wants to know more; perhaps even feels she must know more. “And even if they did not, I could not tell you what will happen.”
“Why not?” she asks me, gaining just a faint glare.
“If I tell you, that would make it different.” I tell her, and Princess hesitates. “If you know, you will act differently than you might have, and your changed actions would send ripples through your future and will make anything I tell you wrong. A large enough ripple may even have catastrophic consequences, not only for the future, but even in your own present.” I finish, and I feel a familiar sense of unknown familiarity.
I know that it would be very bad if I tell Princess too much. I know that speaking the future to those not myself could cause some terrible thing to happen. Another unlearned knowledge within me, though I am not certain what the consequences I speak of would be…
“…I suppose that makes sense.” Princess sighs, shaking her head as she sits back down. “It would be as though you told me the moves I might make in a game of chess, where the motion of a single pawn changes the whole of the game.”
“There are things I can tell you, Princess.” She perks up slightly, looking at me again. “I can tell you that unicorns are within the future, as strong as they are today, and that they do not live within a barren tundra; this land does find its sun again.”
“That is… calming.” She tells me, relaxing from a tension I had failed to see before. “…How do they recall me, Kitty?” she asks. “When they tell the tale of my time, do they know me? Has history recalled me fairly?”
“…I am afraid not.” I tell her, seeing Princess hesitate as I say that. I don’t really want to tell her, yet, it seems wrong to not let her know at least this. “You are recalled as arrogant and stubborn beyond reason, apathetic to the troubles of your own, and an enemy to the other tribes.”
As she gains a look of horror, I try to sooth it, by adding, “Commander Hurricane and Chancellor Puddinghead are recalled much the same, Princess. The tale of the past is foggy, passed through countless hooves and many might forget something in the retelling. Others might change something purposefully, or add something else, so as to make the story what they want it to be, rather than what it is.”
“…That is cold comfort, Kitty.” Princess sighs, lowering her head, obviously saddened.
“It is the only comfort I might offer.” I tell her, a touch saddened myself; I don’t like seeing her so. “…But I know you.” I say. As Princess looks up at me again, I continue, “When you thought me a monster, you faced me with courage. When I tried to remove your dignity, you remained dignified. You showed great kindness to Mirage, myself, and Smart. You lead your unicorns with strength and wisdom alike, worrying for them as I might worry for the lost fillies.”
Princess gains a small smile as I speak, looking away slightly, and gaining the faintest touch of blush.
“And all the words they speak of your beauty do not touch upon the reality.” I say, smiling at the sight of her.
Princess looks to me, surprised, before she gains a brighter blush, and a slightly wider smile. “…You have a silver tongue, Kitty.” she tells me.
“Go rest, Princess.” I tell her, trying to relax myself. “It grows very late, and even I begin to tire.”
She nods and stands up, only to then hesitate. I see her thinking about something before she smiles at me again, and heads to me. I hesitate somewhat as she carefully reaches out to delicately put her hoof on my nearest paw, leaning closer to me still.
“…I’ll have to find ways to get you to talk to me more often.” she tells me, smiling, before she ever so delicately kisses my head.
She then steps back, and tells me, “Good night, Kitty.” As she leaves. I do not respond. I cannot.
Is there a word for ‘paralyzation by kiss’? Because I… she… but then I… is… I don’t…
…
My thoughts are a mess. I suspect I won’t sleep well tonight.
Yet, I think I won’t mind not getting much rest either.
I… I still do not know what to think or feel about this whole thing. I still don’t have the words to describe this feeling, and I still have not made up my mind whether or not it is a good or bad thing for me to feel.
I have found I cannot bring myself to speak it in front of others though. Mirage might be the only one I might, but once I managed to get across what I was feeling, she got flustered and agitated and asked me to please stop.
The day after passed without incident, to my mild surprise. Princess was the same as she always has been, and I firmly suspect she has not told anypony else what I told her last night. I expected something to change, but it hasn’t… I’m not entirely certain if I wanted it to change or not either.
The next has barely begun when Smart delivers my breakfast, only to remain nearby.
“Princess called Clover for some meetin or another.” she told me once I looked at her, wondering why she was lingering. “Didn’t tell me fer what, but she did remind me o somethin.”
“What did she remind you of?” I ask, for Smart to produce a large brush.
“I haven’t groomed ya since a couple a weeks ago an you could do with one.” She says, heading to me with it.
I do take care of myself, but the feeling of the brush is quite pleasant, so I say nothing as I finish the food, and just relax, feeling Smart brush me. Mirage comes soon after, and joins her in doing so. Between the two, I am purring and near totally relaxed.
At some point, I hear the door open, and I see Princess, in full regalia, enter, followed by Clover and three unicorns in armor; one of them is Emerald.
“Kitty.” she says as she stops near me, her retinue stopping behind her, her expression serious. “The time has come. If we wait for much longer, Commander Hurricane will take the initiative, and we cannot allow that. As such, we are making plans to besiege their peak stronghold, and rescue your fillies from them. I felt it important to ask you if you would join us in the assault upon the pegasi.”
Smart and Mirage have stopped brushing me, and I knew that this would come one day. I already know the answer:
Commander is going to pay for that humiliation he gave me.
“I shall.” I tell her, and Princess nods, her expression firm, but I spot the hints of a smile.
“Your assistance shall be of great aid.” Princess tells me. “As the plans develop, Clover shall alert you to whatever role you shall play during the conflict.”
With that, she leaves, followed by the others again, and I hear Smart sigh from atop me as they go.
“This is it then.” she says, resuming her brushing with a little less force than she had before. “Pegasi against unicorns. Exactly what Chancellor knew what was going ta happen days after she found ya in th mountains.”
“I’m not staying behind this time.” Mirage tells me firmly.
“I ain’t either.” Smart adds. “Even if it means flyin agin, I’m gonna be wit you th whole way.”
Their determination might have made me smile, if circumstances were different. But this is nothing to smile about.
The future promises that this conflict would end, and that peace between the tribes will one day come. I know that to be true.
But now I begin to wonder how many ponies are to die before that peace comes.
Clover returned to me several times to tell me how the plans were taking form.
I am to be the leading point; Commander Hurricane is expected to zero in on me immediately, and I am to be the one to fight him, with Mirage and Smart assisting me. Later on, Clover was assigned to join me, to ward off the cold so I might not freeze in the frigid air in the peaks, and to try and protect Smart and Mirage as well.
The rest of the unicorns are to distract Commander’s forces, hopefully so I can face him by himself. The idea is that I incapacitate Commander Hurricane, and in so doing, cause his forces to surrender without too much loss of life between the pegasi and unicorns. Clover told me that the unicorns will be using spells to stun and incapacitate, but could not guarantee that a fall would not be fatal nor that a panicked or upset unicorn would not use more deadly spells.
Apparently, the Commander is very well known for his ‘no prisoner’s’ attitude, though whether that holds true for ponies remains unclear.
As the plans finalize, and unicorns start preparations to move out in the morning, Mirage is atop my head. She is tense and nervous; I feel much the same.
Come the next day, I will march with a small army up the mountains to confront the pegasi, and Commander Hurricane. As much as I hate him for his humiliating me, the memory of his power still makes me shudder. Even with Mirage, Smart, and Clover assisting, I am not certain I can defeat him.
And if I do not, the conflict will take many, many lives.
Starting with my own, and my passengers’. It is not only my life I now hold; it is Smart’s, Clover’s and Mirage’s as well. The fate of the girls rests on me on well.
The fate of ponykind itself might rest on me.
I have to do this. I must overcome him. I must defeat him.
I cannot lose this battle.