//------------------------------// // 185. Park Perils. // Story: Baa-Ram-Ewe! // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// -Saint Canard City, Pom- The main part of the bridge was down, but the cables were still up and we carefully made our way into the city and made a right turn at Albuquerque Lane We were on our way in three separate groups. All entrances and exits to the city were broken or watched, they likely even had people underwater watching for anyone trying to scuba dive their way out of here. Having hidden eyes all over the city wouldn’t prepare us for what was coming, Darkwing only placed them in places that were likely to be robbed or attack. Most of those places were oddly empty, aside from what Darkwing had noted were Moliarty’s forces. Professor Moliarty was a villainous mole with an army backing him and why the city was shrouded in darkness, the moles had an extreme weakness to sunlight and were definitely working with Negaduck. No sign of who was behind the Eggheads, but it did have Dolly worried that The Phantom Blot would try to come out of nowhere and steal our magic. I hope that guy never succeeded at that, as doing so to Ocellus would probably kill her outright. It would leave Shanty and me incapable of fighting and Smolder wouldn’t be bothered by it at all. Dolly could survive without her magic, but she wouldn’t be happy about it as it is a part of her. What was going on in the city wasn’t just a simple bank flipping like what I had to deal with that started my traveling around this world, this was a full blown takeover and there was little information about how it all got started or what Negaduck’s plans were beyond killing me. He had multiple plans running, that’s as much as we knew. We did have ideas of where to investigate though, I had to resist using Dancing Flame as my health was already on the poor side and I’ve barely recovered from our groups run in with Clockwerk. Darkwing and Quiverwing were in his personally built motorcycle called Ratcatcher, they were heading to an arboretum and one of the pillars farthest away from the bridge, there was apparently a lot of activity among the trees near the pillar over there. They could easily dodge Eggheads and mole troopers at the speed they were going. Maui and Launchpad were taking a closer pillar, which was next to the coast, the bay area was swarming with those Egghead guys and they would have to deal with that. Maui was itching for a fight and Launchpad was his back up. They were going on foot and sneaking into the area. Darkwing, wanting us to be safe because I was an out and out marked target with one of the world’s greatest assassins out to get me, he wanted us to go to the closer Theme Park opposite direction of the bay side activity. This left the power plant open as the unvisited spot for anyone who could get there. Apparently the activity around the theme park pillar was relatively quiet and we’d probably find one of the trapped heroes to rescue here. “Pom…” Whispered Shanty and stopped me from walking out of the alleyway a group of moles with rifles passed by without checking the alleyway, they obviously weren’t very bright. Shanty poked her head out and looked around, being shorter made her harder to spot and so she was leading us towards the location. “Okay, let’s be moving.” I followed after Shanty with Dolly riding on my back looking out for anything amiss as we quietly snuck around all the moles running around. We had Ms. Shuttle on standby and Ocellus was at Darkwing Tower, so far nothing was going wrong, but it was only a matter of time before we had an encounter. After we crossing the road and as we tried to enter the next alleyway a mole popped out and spotted us. Before they could alert anyone to our presence sneaking along the walls of the buildings of these darkened streets, Shanty quickly leapt up and bucked them in the skull and they toppled over unconscious. That she managed to do so despite the guy’s helmet either meant that these guys only had numbers while not being very strong or that Shanty dealt a really good blow to his head, probably the latter considering these guys weren’t weak and there was a pair off hoof prints left in the helmet. We quickly scrambled down the alleyway and dragged the short biped mole in with us and left him in the middle of it next to a dumpster. Before moving towards the other end, I broke his weapon against the ground and tossed it in the dumpster, hopefully not making enough noise to attract attention. We were already close to be theme park and there was a patrol of three moles marching on by. Thankfully the citizens of this city were laying low and were not out in the open or in immediate danger other than some of them being held hostage in certain places. “Just going to say it, my family is not very big on theme parks Pom… mostly since they aren’t dog friendly and the most my family can do is book a bus to a nice place for the puppies. Give me a grass and trees park any day, roughing it like wolves for a while and running around wild.” Yeah, never been a big fan of theme parks either Dolly. My life is enough of a living attraction all its own, which means I’m getting too much excitement already. Once we were clear to make a move Dolly spoke up as she hopped off my back and prepared to rush the three guys with her skateboard. “Okay… guy on the right.” “Shanty take the middle Dolly has the guy on the right.” I prepared to leap at the guy on the left, we approached them. “Do you ever get the feeling that we were meant to be underground, I mean what’s so great about being up here?” We were almost upon them and then Dolly burst forward on her skateboard and hopped into the air to slammed into the back of the mole on the right knocking him face first into the ground knocking his helmet off as Dolly bounced up and came down swinging her skateboard for the back of his head with a painful sounding noise. Shanty that by leaping onto the back of the trailing middle guy who suddenly turned gun aimed in Dolly’s direction and soon dropped it as Shanty started slamming her left hoof into his face multiple times. The last one continued on obliviously. “We have everything below the surface, also this city is surrounded by water we’re not exactly great swimmers you know. So why are we listening to Moliarty again?” I tapped the last one on the shoulder gently, sighing loudly as I did so. Could I really expect one of the moles to be reasonable? I didn’t have the heart to actually hurt the guy for being a free thinker. “Excuse me, but… you seem like a reasonable guy. I think it’s because he’s got a commanding presence and a number of moles willing to fight for him therefore it’s a mob mentality.” He looked at the other two unconscious guys with Shanty and Dolly. “That said maybe you should go find somewhere else to be, maybe make a better life for yourself than being an oppressive militaristic stooge like the rest of the other moles for one guy that doesn’t appreciate you.” “You know what… your right. I’m going to find something better to do than walk around and look menacing.” He seemed amiable enough to talk with us and didn’t look angry at the guys we knocked out, more like he was sad that they had to be knocked out. He looked unsure of himself. “My names Gaetan, nice meeting you…” “Leap Lamb, but you can call me Pom Lambchop or just Pom.” I waved at him as he tossed his gun down and walked off. “Nice meeting you Ms. Lambchop and might I say that you have a lovely figure, but you may want to stop that guy Quackerjack from torturing the people being held hostage with toys in the theme park. He’s more bananas than the exploding ones he wields and he’s attacked several of people I’m generally ashamed to be associated with now. Also please be watching out for his lethal toys.” He waved back at us as he left the area. “I’m going to start a dirt collection and becoming a world renowned archaeologist, I’m being quite through with Moliarty Militant Masses!” “I didn’t be thinking that would work.” Shanty said a second later with some surprise as we dragged the two moles into the bushes and searched their bodies for anything that could be considered dangerous, we destroyed their weapons too. “That guy has some nice life goals and a quirky Prench accent.” Why can’t all people part of evil regimes be nice and relatable like that? Wait… I pulled out Dormarch. “Dormarch call Ocellus, Ocellus can I get a dossier on who is Quackerjack? The guy we just met told us he has exploding bananas and something about dangerous toys? We’re doing okay before you ask.” “Hey Pom, hold on a second, I’ve recently lost contact with Darkwing’s team and something bad is going on in the arboretum. Maui’s team has figured out what’s going on over by the bayside and they are currently trying to figure out how to stop it and destroy that pillar.” On screen was Ocellus’s natural face, on a biped body. A tad uncanny, but it helped Ocellus work the computer. “Okay, Quackerjack, Darkwing Duck show villain specializes in weaponized toys. Last seen unconscious getting sucked back to his home dimension, there is no file of a Quackerjack having been reported as existing in this world… strange. The incident of his existence was during the one where the criminal Taurus Bulba tossed Gosalyn’s living relative into an alternate dimension and started causing major dimensional instabilities in the world. There are currently no signs of such a portal having been opened recently within one hundred miles of Saint Canard. Darkwing was very thorough about the detector for that kind of thing.” “We’ll worry about how Quackerjack is here later, I have an idea Ocellus. Ms. Shuttle can provide support fire for Maui and Launchpad. Connecting you to her now.” While Dormarch did that we ducked down in the bushes as another armed patrol passed by. “Can I get an image of what he looks like?” I asked quietly as the moles passed by. The image popped up of a duck biped. He appears to be a jester in a purple suit, red and purple hat, mismatches sleeves with polka dots and stripes. He looked silly with the big teeth in the top of his beak, a perpetual grinner by the looks of it. After the moles were gone we made our way into the park, the theme seemed to be pretty generic if acceptably lovable to some degree… At least the mascot for this place looked cute, a yellow police rabbit that looked a little sickly and yet seemingly full of life with a bright smile. “All the hairs on the back of my neck be raising up.” As we walked through the entrance things were quiet around the park, there were no moles around and I was now entering a full paranoid state. Where was everyone? A little beyond the entrance were empty food stands as we walked on the pathway I felt my right hoof stepped into a large puddle of water on the path… wait that water wasn’t there a second… oh goddesses! I quickly grabbed Shanty with my front hooves and dove backwards as the water electrified brilliantly, blinding us for a few seconds and the water puddle dried up quickly afterwards. My eyes darted about until I saw the shadow of Tobias Rieper as he turned from me and walked disappeared through a door in one of the nearby buildings. We were not chasing after him, he could have more deadly traps waiting for us. We needed to find the hostages and stop whoever this Quackerjack guy is. Dormarch made a slight whimpering noise and I could feel his fear for my life. “That be him?” A wide eyed Shanty asked as she saw where my gaze was going as his back disappear out of sight. Well our lives just flashed before our eyes for a second there. Dolly was about to go chasing after him growling loudly and preparing to push off with her skateboard. “Dolly, stay with us, we can’t split up now.” I said calmly and even sent her an image of why it was a bad idea to go chasing after the guy. Dolly looked like she was going to anyway and I stated one thing. “Don’t.” “But… he just… he almost fried the both of you!” Dolly was angry, but she quickly calmed down as I stared her down from doing something rash. “How did he get so close anyway?” “Maybe, he’s just that good.” It can’t be called paranoia if someone was really out to get you and they were waiting for the opportunity to make it quick and painless. At least I could thank him for not going the slow and torturous route. I think he pulled the trap early because I noticed it, otherwise he would have waited until Shanty was clear. “We need to find and rescue the hostages that Gaetan guy told us about, maybe defeat Quackerjack depending on the situation while we’re at it. We can’t go chasing after a guy that’s trying to kill me, because that’s the likeliest thing to get me killed if he ambushes us again.” We carried on from the food stands and were now far more wary of our surroundings, the noise of the city being drowned out by an eerie quiet. The area opened up again and I looked at a park map while Dolly had her skateboard at the ready to deflect anything on my back and Shanty was staying low to the ground preparing to roll in any direction. Okay entrance there, snack foods near the entrance along with bathrooms... well planned park really… and, ignoring the various rides, then that is where we should go. If Quackerjack is playing to a theme, he would of course be in the… -Fun house- Bright, colorful and eye catching… I hated this place already. “We be going in there?” Shanty asked and Dolly mirrored her questioning look at the entrance. “It’s either that or we wait for that assassin to take another crack at me.” I slowly made my way forward shivering at the thought that the guy might be aiming at my back. We walked in through the entrance, a big clown’s mouth, with trepidation. “It’s concerning that we’re basically walking into this place just because Quackerjack is likely to… is that a box?” It didn’t take us ten feet to run into a large box with a handle on it, Dolly was staring at it distractedly and the handle started cranking itself in a disturbingly slow manner. Looking about the room we were in and how it was designed, also noting that the entrance closed quietly behind us, I made a snap decision. “Get on top of the box, now!” I ran forward and leapt onto the box. Shanty and Dolly did the same, but looked confused as to why we were on it. Well Dolly didn’t look so confused, but when the box played a few specific note, everything but the box sprang up on springs and slammed into the ceiling of the room at a high speed. We all looked up at what was the floor impaled into the ceiling. “Pop goes the her-ooohhh darn it… and here I thought that would of worked!” A figure bound into the room looking excitedly at the ceiling and then noticed us standing on the box and a small portion of the floor that didn’t spring up around the boxes handle. “Oh you have a little friend as a sidekick. I was expecting Darkwing Duck, but he’ll do! Hey little boy, what kind of toy do you want? I, Quackerjack, can spot you one for free!” “If it be coming from you, then I probably not be wanting it. I be growing up without toys or a roof over my head, so I be knowing a bad deal when I hear one.” As sharp as Shanty’s tongue was, she was right in not taking toys from strangers. Not from this one at any rate with the various warnings we got. “Also I be a girl!” “Are you sure? You have this scraggly beard and look like you enjoy playing pirate.” Oh that got Shanty angry. “I'm not playing pirate, I am a pirate and I plunder rum whenever and wherever I can!” Is that really something to be proud of Shanty? “Also all goats be having beards!” “Wait… so you’re a girl… also you let her drink?” Quackerjack seemed confused while rubbing a finger against his chin and looking at the smashed ceiling and the springs that looked to be staying permanently extended. “Huh, really thought those would have retracted by now and crushed me in a comical fashion… guess that joke wasn’t meant to be. Why is this world so cruel?” “Let her? She’s been drinking long before I met her.” My dull flat tone was met with laughter. “I really doubt I can get her to quit at this rate. Also did you really want to be crushed by the entire ceiling?” “Well you’re a fun one, and where there’s fun to be had… IT’S PLAYTIME!” Crossing his arms he flung a bunch of bananas at us that created fizzling noises. We all dove off the box backwards and Dolly was the last as she held her skateboard forward vertically to block the small blast and some shrapnel. The box had been blown open, revealing a teddy bear with bolts in it. Also Quackerjack was now holding a banana doll with a goofy looking face. “What’s that Mr. Banana Brain? They need Terror Teddy to show them how to have some fun? Good idea!” “Something about this guy smells really off Pom.” Taking Dolly’s random commentary into consideration as the teddy bear slowly stood up while making clanking noises, revealing it to be a machine and not a soft and cuddly sleep aid. I sniffed the air and something did smell off. Not a gunpowder or explosive smell like the bananas after exploding, more like a something we’re missing kind of smell. I’d worry about it later as the teddy bear was growing sharp bladed claws and lunged at us, Dolly was knocked back by the first slash and then Shanty surged forward to block the next with her own hoof. What followed was Terror Teddy slashing several times, only to be deflected by Shanty with well-timed hoof swings. “Your right Mr. Banana Brain, it’s not nice to leave Leap Lamb out of the fun too!” Quackerjack flung two yoyo’s my way and I easily dodged both with slight lazy leaning, avoiding a hit to the head and a hip. He pulled them both back and I dodged them again despite them having spiked razor sharp edges this time, which retracted before they reached Quackerjack’s hands. That would have hit my throat and an artery I my hind leg. “How did you dodge those?! I angled them specifically so you’d get hit when I pulled them back!” “I know someone far more annoying than you that is much more skilled at wielding yoyos.” I wasn’t going to mention the annoying Abyssinian by name, I wouldn’t want her to show up and ruin my day any further than this situation with Saint Canard already has. She was more skilled with a yoyo than this guy was. Shanty and the bear continued to scratch and claw at one another. “Can I just know where the hostages are and what you’re doing in this part of the city?” “No, that would take all the fun out of it!” Stated Quackerjack menacingly, preparing to throw again. Only before he could throw his yoyos again, he took a slung skateboard to the back of the head rolling him forward and directly into my prepared left haymaker that planted solidly on his cheek. He went rolling away sideway in a different direction and lost both his yoyos, he got up and started stomping his feet angrily. “No fair, no fair, you don’t play nice at all!” He dodged backwards with a hop as Dolly went for him again, he started running away for the nearest door when I joined in preparing another attack. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get some bigger toys just for you!” Despite how much Dolly looked like she wanted to give chase, she instead turned around and slung her skateboard out for the Terror Teddy that Shanty was tearing up bit by bit. So far Shanty had avoided any injury whatsoever. The teddy bear machine caught the skateboard easily without injury, it however missed the flash of Shanty’s two hooves slashing through its neck in a hard rightward axe swing that she followed through on while the bear bot was distracted. After a second of silence the head tilted slightly as if asking if it really thought that Shanty could actually injure it. That’s when the head started to slide sideways until it and a portion of one of its arms fell off its body. All of it having been cleanly cut through, soon the body of the dangerous toy toppled over lifelessly too. Shanty looked perfectly fine to continue, so we would and made for the door. “That was being dangerous, but actually somewhat fun.” Shanty stated as we gave chase after Quackerjack through the door. “How did you be knowing the floor would go up to the ceiling like that?” “Don’t encourage this Quackerjack guy Shanty. I guessed by the way the entrance room was designed and that the box was sitting in a very oddly designed and rather specific indentation.” There was also the fact that the jack in the box was not making too many mechanical noises. “Also I heard the springs underneath us slowly building up. Now come on, let’s go!” We ran through a hall of mirrors and into a large, circus styled room where we could see people trapped in cages on the far side of the brightly lit arena. One was separate from the other people. The hero 'The Sneeze Master' was stuck in a novelty sized tissue box, I’m pretty sure everything with Quackerjack was a novelty in its own way from what I’ve heard. Sneeze’s sonic sneezes were being countered by the pots of boiling water nearby with what I assume to be antihistamines by the smell that flowed through the arena. “If you big girls are too old for my toys, then well how about this!” A pair of large yellow glowing eyes started to rise up in the large room design like a circus ring. Standing at full height was a Quackerjack robot with him on the head of the machine. “It’s the biggest one I have on hand, say hello to my Quacker-Smack robot!” “At least this one is made of wood.” I said in an agonized tone, can I stop dealing with dangerous robots already?! I was undoubtedly going to get splinters from this somehow. "Hey, you try to building a giant toy robot of yourself on a budget!" Was Quackerjacks response as he got it into an offensive stance. "It's not easy! Again... it's playtime."