I shouldn't be going back to her so soon. Why am I going back to her so soon? A hoof tapped against the ground in front of the small cottage's doorstep. Every so often, its owner would raise it to knock, only to lower it as she questioned herself again. Come on, she's not gonna have time for this and if you don't need it, she shouldn't have to make time for it.
If one were to look at the front of Fluttershy's house, there would seem almost nothing notable or unusual about the cornflower blue pegasus currently dithering on the door stoop. The only even mildly odd things were the yellow vest she wore – while the winter night was a little chilly, even for a pegasus used to high-altitude temperatures, the vest didn't look especially warming and didn't cover enough to be practical for that purpose – and the flowers tucked under her wing. And even with the latter, it wouldn't be unusual for someone to be considering asking Fluttershy out, it simply would have seemed unlikely that they would proceed and inconceivable that Fluttershy wouldn't drop dead of embarrassment on the spot. That that point had been passed long ago and these were flowers given within a relationship rather than to start one would have been absurd to suggest.
Furthermore, even if one were to already know that the vest contained a potent bit of illusion magic and that the mare was under a disguise spell, the idea that the nervous, jittering pony currently floundering in front of Fluttershy's door was the famously confident, assertive and... vocal Captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts would have seemed absolutely comical. Even her own close friends and teammates – those who knew both the face she showed the world and a fair bit of the one she kept hidden – would most likely be astonished to think of it. It would probably be less of a stretch to think it was Princess Luna under the disguise.
And yet, here Spitfire was, shifting uncomfortably within the exceedingly comfortable vest, hesitating in front of the door as if she was afraid it might bite her hoof off.
Come on, this has gone on way longer than is healthy. She sighed, lifting her hoof. Just leave it, you can get back to barracks in half an hour – a bit of sleep'll do you just fine. She pointedly ignored any thoughts about how restless that sleep would be. There's no point standing here if you're not going to...
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Spitfire blinked for a moment before looking down – she was positive she hadn't just knocked on the door. Sure enough, her hoof was still there, hovering in front of the door. However, as she stared at it, a small patch of white at the corner of her vision drew attention to the reason for the discrepancy.
Standing there, glaring up at her, was a small white rabbit. Once he saw she was looking at him, he gave an exaggerated roll of his eyes and threw his paws up in the air, letting her know just how tiresome and exasperating her hesitation was. That established, he quickly turned and hopped back into the bushes around the house, not even pausing long enough to let Spitfire thank or threaten him for making her decision for her. Which was good, as she still wasn't sure which she'd have gone with.
Admittedly, there would be no lasting damage from it and little chance of lasting improvement either. Spitfire and Angel Bunny had a kind of tense accord between them – neither was especially fond of the other, but both were acutely aware of just how much Fluttershy cared for them, even if they had no idea why. As such, while there was no real fondness there, they tried not to cause too many problems for each other and would even help each other if, and only if, they thought it would be good for Fluttershy.
Spitfire didn't have long to consider this, however, before the door to the cottage opened and the lovely mare in question looked out at her.
It was a cliché to describe a mare's beauty as being more “natural” than the various celebrities and supermodels Spitfire typically found herself around. In fact, attempting to make one's beauty look totally natural was generally the practice for most of those in the public eye, such that someone trying to look simultaneously scruffy and handsome was a sure sign of someone who was truly neither.
And yet, there was something Spitfire couldn't quite put her hoof on that made Fluttershy truly feel special in that regard. Maybe it was the gentleness and, in many cases, nervousness in her expression that conveyed just how far such things were from her mind. Maybe it was the faint, not-offensive-but-fairly-noticeable smell she and her house gave off that spoke of one who spent most of their time caring for animals, with all the mess and... unpleasantness that entailed. Or maybe it was just the fact that Spitfire knew her, and knew just how little she cared about keeping up appearances beyond a basic level of presentability, making it astonishing how effortless looking beautiful was for her. Whatever the reason for it was, however, it didn't change the fact of it and, every time she saw her, Spitfire couldn't help but thank her lucky stars she'd met someone so graceful and adorable.
This wonderful feeling only increased when Fluttershy's face lit up upon seeing her. “Oh, Sp- er, Miss Beach Comber. Oh! Um, that is, Beach Comber. Come in, please!” She stepped aside and gestured for her to enter.
Spitfire sighed with an endeared smile as she entered, Fluttershy closing the door behind her. That done, she quickly flitted around the room, drawing all the curtains closed while Spitfire undid the vest's buttons. As soon as Fluttershy was finished, Spitfire shrugged off her clothing, a flash of magic returning her to her true form.
“I'm sorry,” Fluttershy said as she landed in front of Spitfire. “I don't think I'll ever get used to calling you that.”
Spitfire chuckled, simultaneously thinking about how she was the one who should have been apologising and wondering why she'd hesitated about knocking for so long. Still, she waved the apology away with a hoof. “It's fine, Shy. If I wanted a marefriend who was a master of lying, I'd be dating a politician. Believe me, there've been enough who asked.”
Fluttershy giggled for a moment before looking away. “Still... I mean, you're nice enough to disguise yourself just so I don't have to worry about drawing attention. The least I can do is...”
Spitfire put a hoof against her mouth gently, her smile reassuring her that the interruption wasn't out of annoyance, just not needing to hear the rest. “No, the least you can do is just be yourself, and that's more than enough for me.”
Fluttershy blushed as Spitfire lowered her hoof, before catching sight of something to Spitfire's side. “Oh, are those for me? Oh, you didn't have to...”
Spitfire blinked, having totally forgotten about the bouquet she'd been holding. “Oh! Oh, well, I kinda did. I mean, I was going to give them on Saturday but...” she drew a sharp breath in through her teeth, “well, I figured, since I'm the one who’s barging in on you, you really deserved something a little bit extra.” She took the bouquet in a hoof and held them out to Fluttershy.
The pink-haired mare gave her a slightly disapproving look even as the hints of a smile poked onto her face. “You're not “barging in”, Spitfire, and you know I never need anything special to want to see you. But... thank you.” She took the flowers from her before leaning in to give her marefriend a kiss on the cheek. That done, she flew off to one of her windows to put them in a vase while Spitfire hung around the door, taking a moment to let her nerves dissipate in the calm cottage.
“To be honest,” Fluttershy said, her voice carrying easily through the house despite the lack of force behind it, “I... well, I mean... you're never going to be a bother to me, I hope you know that...”
“I guess,” Spitfire replied, rubbing the back of her neck with a wing. “It's just... hard not to feel like it, you know?”
A delightfully musical giggle echoed through the hall as Fluttershy flew back to her. “Oh, I know what that's like. But it's true. And if I'm ever busy... which is, um... kind of rare... well, I know you'll understand and I promise I'll tell you. But anyway, things have been pretty quiet recently. It's winter and a lot of my little friends are hibernating, so things have been... well, quiet.” She winced at the repetition as she landed, prompting Spitfire to lean in for a neck-hug. “So, I'm... very happy to have you here... keeping me company,” she finished, relaxing into the embrace.
They stood there for a moment, neither moving, just letting the moment breathe as Spitfire's neck rested on Fluttershy's long, soft mane and her shorter hair tickled Fluttershy's ears gently.
After a few seconds, though, Fluttershy pulled away. “So, um,” she began, slowly brushing her mane out of her face and behind her ear, “was this just a normal visit... well, I mean, it's never 'just' a visit from you, it always means more to me than just... I mean, were you just planning to spend an evening here or did you want us to...” her eyes darted towards the staircase leading to the cottage's upper floor and her bedroom.
Spitfire took a deep breath, having to fight hard to keep herself from grimacing with discomfort. As much as she adored Fluttershy, it was sometimes hard to talk to somepony who was so quick to read expressions and body language and even quicker to take them in the most self-effacing way possible. Still, she swallowed and spoke. “Well, I mean... I wasn't expecting it, I'm sure as Sun not going to demand it, but... I was kinda hoping. But if you're not feeling up for it...”
“Oh, no, I... I think I'd like that. I just wanted to know so... well, I'd know, I guess.” She shook her head for a moment, her eyes closed before they rocketed open the instant she heard Spitfire take a step. “Um, aren't we forgetting something?”
“Oh... right...” Spitfire awkwardly picked up the single hoof she'd moved and rooted it to the spot once more. “Er... are you sure about this?”
Fluttershy gave a small sigh as she looked at her marefriend, though at that moment she seemed more like a gently disapproving kindergarten teacher than anything. “Now, Spitfire, you know the rules: no repression past the doormat.” She glanced down to the mat beneath Spitfire's hooves.
“I know, I know,” Spitfire nodded, a hindhoof scuffing gently against the mat. “It's just... it always feels... kinda wrong to let it all out like this.”
“It'll only feel wrong until you start,” Fluttershy reminded her, putting a hoof lightly on her shoulder. “And I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want it to happen. You don't have to worry about bothering me and we both know you'll never offend me. So, just... let it all out.”
Spitfire let out an affirmative hum, allowing a brief grimace at a point she knew Fluttershy wouldn't take it as directed at her.
There was a moment's silence as Fluttershy stepped back, her eyes briefly scanning the area around her door, making sure there wasn't anything fragile in the area. At least, nothing physical – the silence seemed incredibly brittle at that moment. However, after taking a second to allow Spitfire to prepare, she spoke:
“So, how was your day?”
Spitfire let out a long, steady breath before her mouth opened. “Oh... sweet... mother of CELESTIA, my day! I don't even know how to... dealing with my team is just... I mean, I'd say it's like herding cats sometimes, but I've seen you herd cats! Doesn't even come close to the level of chaos they can shove in my face. I mean, they're damn good at their jobs, but I swear, it's like so much of their brains are dedicated to flying, there's none left to tell 'em how to act like functioning adults! I mean, they can get on my nerves at the best of times, but right now, Soarin and Wave Chill – you know, a senior 'Bolt and my second-in-damned-COMMAND – have this stupid, petty...”
And so, Spitfire just ranted, her forehooves and wings gesturing around wildly as if she was trying to visually represent how annoyed she was and failing due to lacking several miles of reach. She went on for minutes and minutes on end, just letting everything out – all the vein-twisting aggravations, all the slow-burning burdens, all the tiny, technically-insignificant-but-always-infuriating moments of irritation that had been pinching at the edge of her brain. It all came flooding out in a formless, unceasing torrent. Even the parts she wasn't comfortable voicing to herself weren't spared, assuming they even could be filtered out given the momentum she had. And through it all...
“...and look, yeah, I get it, I screwed up... royally when it came to Rainbow Dash... twice, but do I have to keep getting... I mean, I know it's stupid, both wanting to remember and learn from it and not wanting to get reminded of it, but still...”
“It's not stupid at all,” Fluttershy said, her gentle interruption halting the flow easier than the loudest shout could from anyone else. “We do need to remember the things we did wrong, but... but it still hurts. That's how we know it's working. And you don't have to remember it all the time, so getting reminded... it isn't nice.” She said with a small smile, looking apologetic at not being able to word it better.
Spitfire barely noticed, however, just nodding along. “Exactly – it's not like he needed to rub it in my face. And, yeah, I know he didn't mean to, but it still...”
Through it all, Fluttershy listened. She truly listened. She didn't simply tune out of the conversation, if it could truly be called that, nor did she ever seem like there was anywhere she'd rather be. Occasionally, she would interject, but never with anything but gentle encouragement, both for Spitfire to get all her anger out and for her to not feel ashamed of herself, and never with any intent of stopping the diatribe for more than a short moment. But mostly, she just listened.
And even as she let her frustration gush out of her, Spitfire knew that she was being heard, that she wasn't being judged and that nothing she could say would distress or disturb her marefriend. Not that Spitfire thought there was anything truly hurtful or belittling one could say about Fluttershy and she wasn't about to go looking, but she knew that Fluttershy knew that her apparent rage wasn't any kind of deep-seated hatred burning inside her. It was simply somepony who was under a lot of pressure a lot of the time allowing herself a short period of cathartic release.
And, at the back of her mind, she couldn't help but recall the first time the two of them had truly met.