It took much longer than I’d like to admit for me to regain my composure. Even when I found the strength to stand up and follow him to his home, I was still way too emotionally out of it, letting the tears drip down as I walked. I was so glad he caught me when he did, something that was probably the luckiest moment of my whole life. I couldn’t have been more grateful.
“Sorry we have ta take ta walkin’ back,” the stallion apologized. “Used up a good portion of my magic teleportin’ here ta catch ya. Not that I mind it. Guardin’ this here mountain is my job, and that means protectin’ anypony that happens ta find themselves in danger up here, too. Speakin’ of which, what’s yer name? Mine’s Rusty Bucket.”
“R-r-raleigh…” I quivered quietly, still shaking from that cliff, not to mention, the cold. “Raleigh Leanne Woods, but a lot of people call me Rally.”
“Well, I hafta say, Rally, that was mighty dangerous of ya,” he told me. “Climbin’ up there with no gear or nothin’– what’s a stallion like yerself doin’ up here all alone anyhow?”
“I’m a lady,” I said quickly, a bit irritatedly, forgetting for a second what I’d been turned into. Rusty Bucket’s look of confusion quickly reminded me of the fact that I was a male once again, and I had to sigh, a few more tears dripping down. This was going to be extremely difficult, having to get used to correcting people all the time again.
“I woke up at the top of the mountain,” I started to explain, looking down at my hooves before I glanced at something I didn’t want to see. That was another thing I’d forgotten about, a thought that hardly crossed my mind up until now. I was naked, and now that I remembered, I was completely embarrassed by that fact. I couldn’t see Rusty Bucket’s unmentionables on account of his cloak, but I had to assume that other than that, he was just as bare as I was.
“Um, do you, um, have any clothes I could wear when we get there?” I asked shyly as we walked. It felt like I was drawing attention to my nudity, something that only made me more self conscious about my body than I already was.
“I’ll hafta see, but ya aren’t really my size,” he told me. “But ya were sayin’ ya woke up at the top of Mount Everhoof?” he asked. “How’d ya go about doin’ that?”
“I don’t know. Some guy named Lord Zulu turned me into a stallion and placed me at the top of the mountain. I mean, I asked him to turn me into a pony and put me in Equestria, but I didn’t ask for all of this. I wanted to be put in, like, Ponyville or Canterlot or something. As a mare.”
“Hmmm. Well I’m not sure whatcha mean by all that, but I’ll go along with it. Where should ya be headin’ off to now?”
I sighed again at that. “I… I don’t know,” I said quietly. “I don’t have any plan or anything. I don’t know where I’m going to stay or what I’m going to eat or where I’m going to go… I didn’t think something like this could actually happen.”
“Well, it’s dangerous out here for ya, so I’ll let ya stay at my place for a while so ya can rest on up. Whadda say, Rally?”
“Yes, please. I’d appreciate it very much.”
We walked the rest of wherever we were headed to in silence. It was still cold and the wind still bit me, but it somehow felt a bit better now than it did before. It helped that the sun was shining directly on me now, as though Celestia were taking pity on me. My ears and face still felt completely frozen, but they were a little better now than they were before.
I tried to only look at the ground ahead of us as we walked, putting everything else out of my mind, but couldn’t help but notice how I looked compared to the stallion in front of me. It wasn’t by much, but I could tell I was taller than Rusty Bucket was, and a lot more stocky looking. It was like I was a slightly smaller version of Big Mac or Shining Armor, a thought that made me flinch and cringe silently to myself. I felt terrible, and knew I looked it, too.
It wasn’t long before we got to Rusty’s residence, a log cabin built right into the side of the mountain. Actually, cabin wasn’t the right word. It was more like a mansion, larger than the house I spent my childhood in. I could see the light of a fireplace glowing through the windows on the side, and smoke came out of a chimney on the roof. It was overlooking a large expanse of snow before the mountain started again, and behind it was the trail I was just on, the part of the mountain I started at just a dot in the distance. It was something I remembered seeing in that one season nine episode of the show, where Cozy Glow, Tirek, and Chrysalis were all teaming up to get Gorgar’s bell.
I let out a relieved breath when we finally got inside. It was nice and warm, something I craved after spending all night and all day in the cold. I didn’t make it five steps before I flopped down onto the floor– a carpeted floor of all things. It felt nice and soft, like a pillow as I took in the warmth I got. I closed my eyes and took a moment to appreciate the fact that the wind didn’t cut me like a knife anymore.
“This here’s my house,” he explained as he stepped in front of me and hung up his cloak and bucket– he was completely bare under the thing– turning around afterward to look down at me. “I don’t know about all this wakin’ up on the mountain business, but yer free ta stay as long as ya need,” he told me. “Been a while since I’ve had company over. I could use some companionship.”
“Do you have anything to drink?” I asked. “And something to eat if I can have it? It’s been probably a full day since I’ve had anything at all.”
“All in the kitchen around the corner,” he explained. “Feel free ta take anythin’ ya like. What’s mine is yers.” He looked me over for a moment before adding, “But if ya can, I’d suggest gettin’ yerself cleaned up first. Yer more than a might dirty, and I don’t want ya trackin’ dirt everywhere ya go.”
He used a hoof to point out the bathroom and I thanked him, making my way over. The second I entered the room though, I caught sight of myself in the mirror, and practically gasped out loud as I was slapped in the face with dysphoria.
Reflected back at me was a stallion. He was a stocky looking thing, definitely larger than most stallions were, with wide shoulders and a prominent jaw. His jaw was more rectangle shaped, like that of every other stallion in Equestria, and there was maybe a tiny bit of what had to be stubble peaking through on his chin. His mane was parted down the middle before heading down his neck, and he had deep purple eyes, violet colored, much like Twilight’s. They were eyes that stared in disbelief at whatever he was looking at, clearly not liking whatever they saw.
It certainly was not a body that could possibly belong to me, but I once again watched in disbelief as this stallion’s hooves moved at my command.
“I can’t do this,” I whispered aloud, starting to shake as I turned away from the sight in front of me. “I can’t go back to looking like this. I can’t do it!” I spent way too long trying to fix myself to have my happiness snatched from me so coldly, and yet it seemed it hadn’t mattered. Maybe I was a serial killer in a past life, because it was feeling like reality had a grudge against me at that moment.
“I can’t do this a second time!” I yelled as I shut my eyes, the voice I heard sounding like nails to my ears. “I could barely get through doing all of this the first time! Living like this again is gonna kill me! I don’t want to have to go through this again!”
I knew I wasn’t very mentally stable right then, but that wasn’t a surprise. I didn’t imagine anyone would be particularly healthy mentally if they had everything they worked for snatched away over what amounted to nothing. I could not imagine a way I could be harmed more psychologically than this.
Before I could get very far into crying, Rusty was knocking on the door and asking me if everything was alright.
“Are ya okay in there?” he called. “I don’t want ya hurtin’ yerself. I can come in if ya need me to.”
“I’m fine,” I lied, my cracking, tear filled voice telling a different story. “I just- do you have a towel so I can cover up this mirror, please? I don’t want to have to look at myself while I’m in here.”
“Sure, they’re in the closet off to the side, behind the toiletries,” he said. “Help yerself to whatever ya want.”
I found one and quickly covered up the terrible sight, not wanting to look at it for a second longer. Then I quickly hopped into the shower and ran the water, which used buttons instead of knobs, turning the heat up as high as I dared. It practically burned my coat, but I stood under it anyway, wanting the heat to make up for my time outside in the cold. I stuck my head directly under the water, letting it run down my mane and back and onto my ears and face, grunting as I tried to get used to the high temperature.
I was glad to be standing on all fours because it meant I didn’t have to look at what was underneath me. Seeing it felt like getting a visit from someone who you absolutely despised, a childhood bully who tormented you for years, and after they finally left, came back and told you they needed a place to stay and forced themselves into your house. And then continued to torment you once again, to the point where you just wanted to break down at the sight of them. That’s what I wanted to do. Break down, since I didn’t have a proper chance to. Every time I started to, the snow and cold and wind stopped me. Now was my chance.
I didn’t take it, instead focusing on the burning water. I didn’t need to break down. I was going to get something done about this again and that was that. I was not going to stay this way for one second longer than I had to, and I was going to be aggressive in making sure I didn’t have to, more aggressive than I was the first time, if that was possible.
I stood under the water, letting it almost burn me until it started to turn cold again when I stepped out. I felt a little better as I shook and dried myself off with that plan in mind, but I needed to form something more specific for the here and now. I need a course of action for my next steps now that I wasn’t in danger.
Getting somewhere was clear enough, but where would I go? The obvious answer was Ponyville. Being there, I would certainly run into Twilight Sparkle, and then she could hopefully fix whatever the hell this monsterish body I was in was. If she was even in Ponyville, that was. I realized that I had no idea what time I entered Equestria. It was past the first episode since Princess Luna showed up in my dreams, but beyond that, I didn’t know. The way things were going, I’d probably walk all the way to Ponyville to hear it didn’t exist yet because it was a thousand years in the past and this guy was some long ago ancestor of the Rusty Bucket from season nine.
“Hey, I have a question,” I called as I stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around me after several careful minutes of manipulating my hooves to accomplish it. “Do you–” I was stopped when I stepped into the main room of Rusty’s house to see him lying on his back, legs splayed out as though there was nothing in between them, casually reading a book. I’m sure it would’ve been perfectly normal for anyone else, but seeing that made me severely uncomfortable with this whole thing.
For a second, I almost forgot he was a pony and that this kind of thing was probably acceptable here. I was a lady, and I knew what kinds of things could happen to me in a situation like this. I was a second away from bolting out of his home back into the snow had I not remembered that this was Equestria.
“Yeah?” he asked as he turned his head to me, raising an eyebrow as I looked away from him. I had to shiver uncomfortably at the sight of him, using all my strength to not gag.
“I– nothing,” I got out, nearly forgetting my question. “Have you ever seen a little pink filly running around up here?” I asked. “A pegasus with blue curls, probably seven years old?”
“Nuh uh, not that I recall,” he answered, putting a hoof to his chin and looking up in thought as if trying to remember. “Pretty sure I’d remember somepony like that. Whydda ask?”
“No reason,” I said quickly, making sure to stare directly at his face when I looked at him. I had the strong urge to tell him to put something on and cover up, but I didn’t. I didn’t know if that would be something rude to say to people here.
“What was, like, the last big villain to try and take over?” I asked. “I just need to know how long it’s been,” I added nervously, feeling like he might have been getting suspicious of me for some reason.
“Don’t know,” he replied. “I might be the guardian of this mountain, but that don’t mean a lot happens. A lot of borin’ patches of time, honestly. I can’t even remember the last time I saw a pony before you. Might’ve been months, honestly, maybe years.”
I sighed at that. Of course he didn’t remember. Because nothing could be simple. He did say though he’d hadn’t seen Cozy Glow, so that at least meant we were before the second half of season nine. Whether before though meant a few episodes before or a time well before season one, I had no idea. I found myself hoping for closer to season nine than season one though. A more experienced Twilight Sparkle would be easier to talk to.
“Would’ve been nice had I woken up in Ponyville,” I muttered. Or Manehattan, since I had to do my best to avoid looking at anything outside of the stallion’s face. Then I yawned and asked, “Do you have a place I can sleep for now? Or actually, water first, please? And some food?”
“Sure. Water’s in the kitchen and there’re a bunch of bedrooms down the hall from here. For food, I’ll fix ya up something ta eat later for supper, or ya can grab somethin’ yerself if ya wanna.”
“Thank you very much, I appreciate your hospitality,” I told him gratefully.
I tried to grab water and apples from the fridge (somehow, Equestria had refrigerators of all things, not that it was filled with anything other than bread, apples, flowers, and hay), but wasn’t able to on account of my now once again useless hoof grip. After a little while of trying, I just settled for drinking water out of the sink and eating the apples directly out of the fridge before heading into one of the bedrooms he told me about. It was about what I expected, although I did notice the poster of Twilight Sparkle hanging up in the bedroom, so I could at least be certain I wasn’t a thousand years in the past. At least that was one good thing.
I yawned again as I flopped onto the bed, the uncomfortableness of what was under me making me grunt in frustration. Maybe this was just a nightmare I was having, I tried to imagine. A nightmare that was the longest and most detailed that I’d ever had in my whole life. It was unlikely, but still a possibility. I did take a nap earlier, but a nap wasn’t the same as fully sleeping, was it? Plus, I could still remember exactly what happened in that dream. There was a small chance that was what this was.
I sighed and closed my eyes at that thought, curling up under the blankets. I was kidding myself. This felt way too real to be anything other than real life. You couldn’t have the kind of pain I had from the cold in a dream, the kind of aching my soul did from being forced into being a stallion outside of real life. There was no way this was anything other than reality. I wished that after these last bunch of hours I had a moment to break away from it all. What amounted to less than a day of my being here so far had felt like months by that point.
I took my moment to stop and break down right then, somehow finding the ability to sleep in between my crying. I wondered if my friends knew I was missing yet.