We don't go to Sub-Level Five

by RadBunny


Chapter Forty Five: Grounding

Sassi woke up with a yawn. The mare blinked, looking around briefly. Despite the restful sleep, she still felt exhausted.

More importantly, Astral wasn’t being her pillow. That made her immediately annoyed, a lot more than Sassi would have originally thought.

Something immediately made the alarm bells in her mind clang away, however. The door was unlocked, swinging slightly.

He wouldn’t have left, let alone not closed the door.

She shrugged on the remaining suit of armor and guns, her helmet sealing with a soft hiss. Oddly, the HUD seemed warped, distorted. Astral didn’t answer on his radio either.

She crept out into the hallway, a shudder running down her spine.

Something had cleaned up the floor. It looked almost like a normal workday, sans creatures. Papers neatly stacked; computer screens brightly lit…

A ladder drew her gaze, her hooves mechanically moving towards it. It didn’t have any place here, leagues underground rock and dirt. And yet Sassi felt compelled to climb it. It seemed to go on forever, but finally, the mare reached a simple, locked hatch.

Forcing it open, the mare clambered out into fresh air- at least, until she took a breath.

Smoke filled her lungs, the mare’s eyes widening in horror. Canterlot burned in the distance, and two nearby towns were reduced to embers. All the greenery of the world was in flames.

Her hooves began to shake. Even as ghostly shapes darted among the ruins, Sassi knew why this had all happened. Why the Everfree forest was on fire, why the skies were raining ash and embers.

Her world had done this. It had gotten out, infected everything from outside the Silos. There were no more forests to explore, no oceans to swim in. It was all burning. Everything Sassi’s world touched was turned to ash and barren rock.

An unintelligible sound then caught Sassi’s attention, the mare turning to look.

She couldn’t process the sight at first, the mare staring. It didn’t make sense. When it finally did, Sassi couldn’t hold back a horrified cry.

Strapped to a disturbingly pristine lab table, was Astral. He looked more like a fish at a market than a pony, neat incisions now laid open that matched the scars on Sassi’s own body. Considering how much blood was on the table, he shouldn’t be alive.

And yet his green eyes turned to look at her, now narrowed in disgust. Sassi’s entire body went cold, terror gripping her heart as flames began to ignite around them both.

“You killed me,” Astral hissed, the stallion's eyes narrowed. “You killed it all. You don’t belong in this world. Look what happened when you took a step into it!

You shouldn’t even exist.”

It was when the stallion’s sneering, now-severed head flopped off the table to rest next to Flask’s that the mare woke up screaming.


The real Astral was dead asleep, the past weeks of constant stress starting to take an increasing toll. However, he was abruptly awakened by a rather tight grip around his barrel and a completely distraught mare, Sassi bawling into his fur.

“Wha? Sassi? What…” his words failed him, Sassi refusing to look at the stallion as she cried. Out of pure reflex, Astral shifted around to wrap a forelimb tighter around her shoulders.

Rocking her back and forth slightly, all Astral could do was hug her. It was obviously a nightmare, but he had never even thought Sassi could be this…

Vulnerable?
Distraught?
Emotional?
All the above?

The fact she was physically shaking was another clue that Astral had barely scratched the surface of the complicated mare even with the genuine moments between them. Even what she had told him was so unrelatable and complex; how could he fully grasp the impact of it?

In short, he couldn’t. Trying to imagine Sassi’s dilemma, merging two separate ways of life and aspects of one’s self was overwhelming. Add in the fact that one of them was wrong in many, many ways, and it just compounded it all. He didn’t blame her in the slightest for having these moments. The events he had experienced had nearly pushed the stallion over the edge. He couldn’t imagine realizing that his current way of life was wrong, and over, let alone Sassi coming out of her shell.

All he could do was rock her back and forth. Sassi only said a few more words before falling silent again.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

Leaning into Astral’s embrace, the mare eventually dozed off again, Sassi refusing to say anything else.

What is going on with you, Sassi?


He woke up again slowly, a pleasant, blissful existence in the never-never land where anxiety or fear hadn’t yet taken hold. All he knew was that he wasn’t too tired, and was quite comfortable. The air was cold, but he was quite warm.

Of course, that was when he realized his blanket was a slowly-awaking mare, one who seemed to be half furnace. It was like having the best-weighted blanket ever, but it would have been better in a colder room.

He filed that under the ‘things to definitely try’ folder in his mind.

The day’s interrupted sleep came flooding back, Astral yawning as he glanced over to Sassi. It certainly confirmed (yet again) that she was absolutely adorable more times than not. She was flopped half over him, resting on his shoulder with a forelimb wrapped around his barrel.

The fact he was still ok with the gesture when he was only partially awake spoke volumes. Astral naturally wasn’t a ‘physically-close’ type of pony. That applied to hugs, general contact, and so forth. Yet right now, those boundaries were muted for Sassi, be it for her benefit or otherwise.

He wasn’t surprised, especially after realizing things the previous day during their ‘totally not first date’. The warm glow in his chest refused to fade at that thought. There was still a lot he didn’t know about her, but he wasn’t about to let Sassi think he didn’t care. He couldn’t help but find himself continually falling head over tail for her, circumstances permitting.

I wouldn’t mind waking up like this more often.

The brief thought that flickered through his mind made the stallion’s cheeks heat up. It was true, one of the many thoughts that were based on the future. What would going on normal dates with Sassi be like?

Who was Sassi underneath it all? Once the walls of the Silos were torn away?

He had a feeling that question was slowly getting answered, piece by piece. Moments like this, when she had looked in the mirror during the date, and the various glimpses during the day. There was a mare underneath the training and horrors of this place, and Astral couldn’t wait to get to know all of her.

Even if things didn’t work out, Astral didn’t have any intention of just letting her flounder once they escaped this place. Sassi was incredible, even if she couldn’t see that herself. Somehow Sassi had checked all the boxes, and then some for what Astral would look for in a partner. Not without her own challenges of course, but everyone had those to an extent. He still couldn’t help but just find her fascinating and admittedly adorable.

Astral’s eyes flickered down at that thought. Perhaps she needed a reminder about all of that. Then again, he was still processing his feelings. He liked her, certainly enough to want to pursue things. The switch in his mind had definitely been flipped in that respect during their jungle expedition. And yet how much should he let on, especially for how attractive he found the mare? It was a grey area. Yet apparently, moments like this were ok.

When in doubt, ask. It’s all in the phrasing I suppose.

It didn’t help that she had roused quite the protective streak in Astral, especially on seeing how shy, and admittedly troubled Sassi was underneath the initially confident and independent exterior.

Shifting upright slightly, Sassi let out a huff in what he assumed to be in annoyance on waking up, the mare then flopping her head into his fur.

“Good night to you too,” Astral said, the mare’s head darting up with a pink tint on her cheeks. She couldn’t meet his gaze, instead looking down with her ears flattened against her skull.

“Astral, I…” Sassi’s words failed her, a simple shake of the head conveying enough. Despite her embarrassment, she still had no qualms about resting on his shoulder.

“We don’t have to talk about it. I just hope you’re feeling better,” he replied softly, “I don’t know what it was, but I know a nightmare when I see it. I’m here regardless, even as a pillow. I’m certainly not going to complain.”

That made her glance over, expression lightening at his words.

“Well, you are a comfy one,” she muttered. A softer, almost embarrassed smile darted across the mare’s usually stoic features. “I could get used to it.”

“Likewise. But as I said yesterday, not at your expense,” Astral clarified. “I’d feel much better knowing you were in this position of your own accord, not because of a mental battle you’re fighting.”

Sassi promptly gave him a brief hug at that, head shaking against his fur.
“This would be so much easier if you weren’t so sweet.”

“To be fair, I’ve been surprised by my sugar content.”

The rather lame joke still made Sassi snort, the mare sighing.
“Just keep being you, Astral. I’ll catch up eventually. Wanting something and feeling ok with something are two different things right now. So, thank you for being cautious.”

As she was clearly reluctant to move (and, to that end, so was Astral) he decided to chance something.

“You are most welcome. I just don’t want to push things too much,” he said. “Hmm. How much do you know about, well, Thestral dating…stuff? Specific gestures and things?”

That earned an immediate blush, the mare shaking her head.
“Thestral specific? Not much. And I mean that in a general sense. I never really realized how nice it was to have another Thestral around in general,” she admitted, “like how my lights in the apartment were always dim, or the smoothies tasting off. I guess there’s a lot I don’t know, a lot that I never was able to appreciate.”

“I mean, what we’re doing now already counts as one,” Astral said with a cheeky grin, one that made Sassi blush, “Buuuut right now, you’re in the perfect position to learn about another one, with your permission,” Astral said, raising a single hoof. “Just with a forelimb that applies to us Thestrals. That’s all if you’ll let me.”

She was more curious and cautious, Sassi nodding.
“Fair enough. I am still laying on you. So…” verbalizing that fact immediately returned the blush to full force. “Go ahead.”

Noting that her words seemed almost cautious, Astral was struck by a simple realization.
She’s still trying to defuse the aversion to somecreature’s touch.

It was a trust Astral would never break, and it was heartening to see Sassi was trying. He was beginning to understand that the pony underneath the horrific upbringing and conditioning genuinely was yearning for a connection. The fact she trusted him to try and break those barriers that spoke volumes. First, a hug when she needed it, and now this. Sassi was clearly pushing herself, and that meant more than Astral could fully understand.

Small steps.

He carefully reached up to gently place his forelimb next to her head, Sassi looking at him oddly. That expression abruptly faded as he stroked her fluffy ears, the mare immediately settling her head back down on his shoulder.

“Whoa,” she mumbled, Astral not able to resist a laugh as a content sigh left the Thestral.

“Yeah, we have sensitive ears, both inside and out,” he explained. “Most Thestrals think it feels really, really good. There’re massage parlors with special experts dedicated to ears.”

“I knew that in general, but Flask had only done that when I was a foal,” Sassi murmured, “so, this is a Thestral gesture then? Family?”

“Family, really close friends, yeah,” Astral explained, not about to stop the gentle movements. He wasn’t sure if Thestrals could purr, but Sassi seemed pretty close. She was definitely more relaxed; the stallion having to try and not focus on how nice it felt to have her snuggled up against him. “It’s also kind of like a kiss on the cheek, in a way. Between couples at least. A less obvious gesture in public but can have the same meaning. Like right now.”

That made her eyes snap open, violet gaze locking onto his.

“I just want to be here for you, whatever that may entail,” he explained. “I never really said it during our date yesterday.”

Something darted across Sassi’s eyes. It was dark, twisted, and shrouded in fear. Something that was immediately buried. His words seemed to make her withdraw, a shaky breath leaving her barrel.

“How long will you be here, Astral?” she asked softly, “there’s a lot you don’t know about me. A lot.”

“True. But you’re not taking into account what I already know,” he said. “You’re an interesting mare, Sassi, one who I still want to get to know more. Rocky road and all.”

“Not a bad flavor of ice cream either.”

He chuckled at that.
“True. But I just didn’t want you to think I’m just here for the nightmare comfort sessions,” Astral said, finding his voice starting to waver. “For what it’s worth, I do care. In case I didn’t make that clear before.”

Sassi reluctantly sat up, Astral doing the same as he retracted the forelimb. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, voice hitching as she spoke.

“It’s worth a lot, Astral. More than I can really explain,” she replied, “I just don’t want you to go anywhere.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Don’t…don’t promise something like that,” she warned, gaze abruptly hardening and becoming more guarded. A bit of the armor returned, her demeanor stiffening. The mare steeled herself for the next few sentences. “That’s a big promise for a lot of unknowns. Before we meet the scientists later today, or tomorrow morning, there are a few things I need to explain. Not now though.”

The words were forced as if they were being dragged out of Sassi kicking and screaming. She didn’t meet his eyes, and Astral could have sworn he felt her start to shiver against his side.

Whatever she still had to tell him, it must be a doozy.

“Well, I still mean it. I’m not going anywhere,” Astral finally said firmly, “even if it takes a while for me to convince you.”

The armor abruptly shattered, Sassi’s shoulders sagging as her ears flattened. It was such an abrupt demeanor shift. False confidence held up with rotting foundations that a few kind words tore away.

“Please, don’t stop trying,” she whispered, almost sounding afraid. After a moment, the mare leaned forward and gave him a final hug, burying her face into the Thestral’s fur with a happy sigh.

Astral hugged her back, her gesture another reminder of how Sassi wasn’t the only one who was starved for positive physical touch. It was a gentler gesture lacking any of the previously intense comforts as before. A simple hello, a friendly, affectionate touch in an environment that sucked out anything good. As she pulled back, Sassi blushed, her eyes meeting Astral’s for a moment.

“Just wanted a time when I wasn’t a total mess,” she said softly, her gentler tone still very much present.

“As you wish.”

His returning quip made Sassi’s cheeks redden again, the mare shaking her head shyly as that side of her poked through. Letting out a sigh, Sassi then chuckled softly.
“I suppose it’s time to get started.”

Astral nodded, getting up and stretching.
“I agree; we’ve got a Silo to traverse.” His gaze softened, Sassi’s violet eyes looking at him curiously. “And I promise not to stop trying.”

The gentle smile on her face was as good of an answer as any for Astral as the two began to down a quick meal and get suited up. Despite the familiar stoic demeanor and actions as Sassi shrugged on her armor, there was a softness to it all. Astral couldn’t place it. Just the way she glanced his way every now and again. It was affectionate, but there was something else, something deeper. Then again, the trust he had in Sassi was far more than any other friend the stallion had.

It wasn’t in a less-or-more sort of gauge, but a simple realization that he could trust Sassi with his life. He trusted Gabbro in a general sense of being there for him, but Sassi had proven it. Fighting side by side and saving each other’s lives…that was a deeper level of trust Astral was only now starting to understand. The trust between a squad, of soldiers.

Those thoughts could wait, however. They had a Silo to tackle.