“What am I going to do, Angel?” Fluttershy sighed. The streetlamps offered no comfort against the encroaching, oppressive night. Rather, those pinpricks of light leered at her through the dark, judging her for her transgressions. “I could barely speak with her, especially when she hugged me. And goodness knows Pinkie loves hugs.” The gentle breathing on her back provided little comfort against the visibility the light provided of her.
No lights were on in the houses, apartments, and shops that littered the landscape, but Fluttershy could swear someone was watching her. It was so obvious now, of course she had a crush on Pinkie, the only mare she could think about leading up to the proposal. And now that she knew, Pinkie was certainly going to find out. Yes, it was only a matter of time until Pinkie worked out her feelings. She would abhor the idea, of course. Sure, she wouldn’t say anything, Pinkie was entirely too considerate to reveal her disgust. But Fluttershy would know.
She would notice the twitch in Pinkie’s vast and engulfing azure eyes as she revealed her loathsome secret. Pinkie would recoil just before any physical contact, forcing herself through the worry that she was suggesting romantic feelings. Eventually, Pinkie would start to avoid her, just to prevent any more pain for either of them.
“No,” Fluttershy said aloud, “I can’t let her find out. I’d be inconveniencing her and hurting myself. There’s no way she likes me back. I’ll just have to keep it from her.”
As Fluttershy approached the bridge to her cottage, she noticed the snoozing forms of over a dozen creatures. Fluttershy idly thought about waking one up to talk to. But, like Angel, she let them be. They needed their rest and it wasn’t right to wake them up simply because she was upset.
Fluttershy sighed.
It wasn’t their fault; she was just being mopey. This wasn’t a big deal. She had ignored her feelings for Pinkie before and she could do it again.
But she really didn’t want to.
As she crossed the bridge, she looked up at her cottage. The dark abode loomed over her, it knew all her secrets and lorded them over her through the blank stare of its windows. The wind blew through the leaves. During the day, Fluttershy would find such a sound comforting. But tonight, the wind sounded hollow and deceitful.
Fluttershy opened the door, wiped off her hooves, and made her way to Angel’s bed. Gingerly, she removed the bunny from her back and placed him in his bed. As he curled in on himself, she gently placed the blanket over him.
“Goodnight dear,” she whispered.
Fluttershy stared out the nearby window. As she stared out at the encroaching darkness, illuminated by the faint glow near her face, she sighed. “It just isn’t worth it, Angel,” she whispered.
There was no response from the sleeping form behind her.
Fluttershy awoke to something tickling her face. She pushed it away and murmured “just a little bit longer.” She felt something hopping against her torso. Fluttershy sighed. Slowly, she sat up in bed. She noticed Angel, forepaws crossed and tapping his foot against her. She turned to look out the window. The sun was already well above the horizon.
Her eyes shot wide. “Oh! I’m late, aren’t I Angel. I’ll be downstairs when I’m done in the shower. Thanks for waking me.”
It had been nine days since the proposal, which was certainly the most important thing that happened that day. No, she certainly wasn’t ignoring anything.
Fluttershy continued ignoring nothing throughout her morning routine. She sped downstairs and grabbed her feed bag. She fed the mice, chicken, and songbirds as Angel hopped behind. Just as Fluttershy was feeding the squirrels their nuts, he managed to plant himself in front of her and gesticulate wildly.
“I’m sorry Angel, I’ll get you food in a moment. I’m afraid it might not be as… um… well-prepared as you like it this morning,” Fluttershy paused, then smiled sheepishly and said “but I can make you something nice when I get back. How does that sound?”
Angel shook his head. He got down on all four paws; smiled a wide, mock-genuine smile; and began hopping around.
Fluttershy blushed. She turned away and replied “Angel, I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, but whatever it is, it can wait until after I’ve returned. Now, come on, we just need to get the deer, Harry, and you fed.”
Angel kept quiet during the rest of breakfast, though Fluttershy thought he was avoiding her eyes. She, herself, had a quick breakfast of dandelions before scampering towards the spa, calling “Be good while I’m gone,” as she shut the door.
As she ran, she saw Pinkie talking with Carrot Top at the market. Pinkie waved to her and Fluttershy smiled wide as she ran past. Oh, there’s Pinkie. Hello there Pinkie! Sugarcube corner must need carrots for something, I wonder what? Her mane was especially poufy today. Gosh, I could run my—no, no I can’t think about that. I’m going to a spa day with Rarity and if she catches even a whiff that I’m hiding a crush she’ll extract it out of me. Just… don’t think about Pinkie while we’re there. That’s all I have to do.
She arrived at the spa, panting and out of breath. She poked her head inside and saw Rarity idly flipping through a magazine. As their eyes locked, Rarity held a knowing smile.
Oh dear, Fluttershy thought, she can’t possibly know already. I haven’t seen her since before I knew myself. And I haven’t told anyone except Angel, who certainly couldn’t have told her. Did… did Twilight figure it out that night? No, she never notices these things. Applejack and Rarity were dating for a month before she even suspected anything.
“Fluttershy, I was beginning to worry. Whatever happened this morning?”
Did… did she figure something out after Pinkie and I were spotted? No, we barely talked, how could she possibly know? And it’s not like anything I’d done before would’ve given her that idea. Well, Angel figured it out, I guess.
“Fluttershy, darling?”
No, she doesn’t know; she can’t know. And it’s not real anyway. It’s just a figment of Angel’s imagination. He’s just seeing things. So no matter what she says, she’s just seeing things.
“Fluttershy, you’ve frozen up, is something the matter?”
I’ve been thinking too long. “No, just a bit stressed.” Just, keep the conversation off Pinkie.
“Well, it’s a good thing we’re at a spa, isn’t it?”
“Are you ladies ready to enter?” Aloe asked as she poked her head into the lobby.
“Oh yes, dear,” Rarity replied, “do lead the way.”
The pair was led to the mud baths. As they neared the entrance, Fluttershy said, “Sorry I was a little late today, I slept in this morning.”
“Did the birds not wake you this morning?”
“Oh, they tried to, but I seem to have slept through it…”
“That’s quite alright, I’m just glad we’ll be able to have a spa day today. I know that you know I’ve been running myself a little ragged trying to finish those dresses for Applejack and I; not to mention the couple of last-minute clients I had commission a dress last week. Applejack and I consulted Pinkie about our wedding plans Thursday. It’s going to be a while, I’m sure, but it’s never too early to plan your own wedding.”
“You sure sound excited, Rarity,” Fluttershy said with a smile.
Rarity grabbed Fluttershy’s face and pulled it towards her. “I am,” she cooed, drawing out the sound. Rarity let go and threw her hooves towards the ceiling. “I cannot believe this day is here. I mean, I know I was preparing to propose to Applejack and I know she would never have said no.”
Fluttershy tried to cover her giggle with her hoof.
“Alright, fine I didn’t know,” Rarity said through a pout. “Honestly, I thought you said you weren’t going to come.”
“…I, um, I wasn’t.”
“Oh? Then what changed your mind?”
“Pinkie said she was going and that Applejack had a surprise for you that we were supposed to watch.” Fluttershy smiled. “She wouldn’t tell me what it was, but I decided to tell her you had a surprise too. I wouldn’t tell her what you were planning, though. I thought if she wanted to be coy, I would be too.”
“What an adorable choice, darling. I’m sure it really elevated the romance of the moment.” Rarity paused to sink her hoof into the mud. “Applejack told me Pinkie was going to take a photo. Did she end up getting one?”
“No, she said she was surprised enough by your proposal that she forgot to even pull out the camera. Applejack was planning on proposing later, so Pinkie wasn’t prepared.”
“Drat. I was really looking forward to a photo of that moment.”
Fluttershy focused on her hooves. “I… I could tell you about it from our perspective, and maybe you could draw that?”
As Fluttershy looked back at Rarity, she found her friend’s eyes sparkling. “Yes. Oh, yes, that would be lovely, darling. Oh, we’ll have to get started on it as soon as we can.”
“I’d be happy to help.”
The pair sat in silence for a moment. Eventually, Rarity furrowed her brows. Then, a smirk grew on her face.
“So… you weren’t going to come watch, but Pinkie convinced you to come? How did that go?”
“Oh, she just told me I would want to see a surprise and that we were going to spy on you.”
“That’s all dear?”
“Um… yeah?”
“No, I don’t know, convoluted schemes to keep yourselves hidden; reassurances that’d everyone would be fine with it; or pleading or anything?” Rarity asked with a single eyebrow raised and a smirk.
Oh no. She knows. No, she doesn’t. All I have to do is tell her what happened. “Um, well, she did inform me that, um, Applejack knew she was going to be spying on you. So, I knew we wouldn’t be doing it without her knowledge. Really, that was what I was most nervous about.”
“Hmm… indeed.” Rarity furrowed her brows and stared towards the wall.
After a few moments, Rarity turned back to Fluttershy with a smile. “In any case, do tell me about how the proposal was.”
“Oh, it was a bit disheartening at first. I was so excited to see you ask that when Applejack started laughing I couldn’t really handle it.” Fluttershy paused, “You were crying, and it was clear—at least at the time—you two weren’t really on the same page. A-and you hadn’t been for a while.”
“Oh dear, was it really that dreadful?”
“Well, I mean, you certainly seemed to think so,” Fluttershy said with a smile.
“Yes, alright, I was being rather dramatic, wasn’t I,” Rarity replied through an eye-roll and a slight smile.
“Oh no, it was very reasonable.”
“Do continue dear.”
“Yes, well, it was too much for me, so I couldn’t watch. But,” Fluttershy took a deep breath, “Pinkie… I knew Pinkie knew what was going on and she told me to watch. And so I did.”
“Yes, and how on earth did she manage that?” Rarity stared disinterestedly at her hooves.
Keep it together, Fluttershy. “Well, I knew she had talked to Applejack about it, so she certainly knew something.”
“Hmm… I suppose so.” Rarity paused. “Well, I’m certainly glad you got to witness the proposal. I mean, really, a double proposal. A double proposal. Do you know anyone who was even involved in anything so romantic?”
“Not a double proposal. Pinkie didn’t think she’d seen one yet either.” Fluttershy’s brows furrowed. “How did you manage it anyway? I understand why you were planning on proposing, but what was Applejack planning on doing? How did she know about the date?”
“She didn’t, actually. She had made the decision about a month ago and bought the ring two weeks ago. Her plan was to propose at a sufficiently romantic moment and—when I proposed the spa day—she used the excuse of returning a bucket to her house to sneak the ring under her hat. As the sun was setting, she was apparently considering whether to propose then or when we returned to the Boutique.”
“Well, I suppose you made that decision easy for her.”
“Indeed.” Rarity blinked twice. Her eyes widened. “Oh my, where are my manners. You mentioned you were stressed. Whatever for? Has something happened?”
“Oh…” Fluttershy paused. “Nothing beyond the usual. I’ve been treating a mouse’s broken foreleg, Angel’s been a little difficult this last week, and I’ve been having trouble sleeping—which has only compounded things.”
“Angel, difficult?” Rarity said with a smirk.
“He isn’t always difficult; he’s very helpful sometimes.”
“Oh, is he now.” Rarity sank slightly into the mud. “I do think you let him take advantage of you sometimes.”
“He’s getting better.”
“Yes, and that’s why it’s been a difficult week,” Rarity said sarcastically. “Tell me, what is it this time? A carrot marginally undercooked? Too much attention to the mouse?”
“No, nothing like that…”
“Do tell, dear.”
“I’d rather not…”
“Well, if you’re sure. Although, talking about it could help.”
“I know…”
“Alright darling, I’ll drop it.”
The pair sat in silence for a few moments before deciding to move to the sauna.
“By the way, Twilight wanted me to thank you coming over to help calm her down the other day,” Rarity said “She wanted to tell you herself, but said something about dealing with a bunch of circles. Do you know what she as talking about?”
“Oh, yes, she was working on some spell construction or other. Honestly, I didn’t really understand what she was doing. She spilled some ink on some spell calculations and was worried about meeting a soft deadline Celestia had given her. Spike brought Pinkie over to cheer her up, but she wasn’t able to calm her down. He brought me over to… show her some kindness I suppose.”
“Oh, now aren’t you a gentle soul. Tell me, how did your particular brand of wisdom fare against Twilight’s anxiety attack?”
“Pretty well, actually. As soon as she realized Celestia wouldn’t be disappointed in her, she calmed down. Um… I think she was hungry and tired. Spike said she hadn’t eaten almost all day before the spill. We talked for a little while. Then, we went home. I walked Pinkie to Sugarcube Corner and…”
“And?”
“And… I went home. Not much else. Angel fell asleep on the way home.”
“Angel came with you, whatever for? Nothing to do with why he’s been difficult?”
“Oh no, nothing like that. To be perfectly honest, I don’t really know why he came along. Actually, it probably…” Fluttershy trailed off.
“Probably…?”
“It’s nothing.”
Rarity stared blanky at Fluttershy. Fluttershy hid behind her mane. Rarity cleared her throat. “Darling, it seems Angel’s behavior is something you’d like to talk about.”
“It’s nothing.”
Rarity placed a hoof on Fluttershy’s. “Dear, if you need to talk about something you should. If you don’t want to, I won’t press it, but you should.”
Fluttershy took a deep breath. “It’s… complicated.”
“Well, we have the time.”
“So, after your proposal, Pinkie walked me home. Angel spent a lot of energy trying to… um… well…”
Rarity was staring intently at Fluttershy.
“Well, he was trying to tell me something. And, I… um… I didn’t really listen to him.”
“Darling, that doesn’t sound like you at all. What on earth could Angel have said that you wouldn’t have listened to him about?” Rarity held back a chuckle. “He’s not unhappy about you spending too much time away from the cottage recently, is he?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Fluttershy averted her gaze.
“Well dear, spit it out. I’m afraid I can’t help much without knowing what it was.”
“He um… he…,” Fluttershy took a deep breath. She then quietly said “He thought I had feelings for Pinkie.”
Rarity blinked twice.
“He thought you had feelings for Pinkie.”
“Yeah, I know, it’s silly isn’t it,” Fluttershy said quickly. “Just because I couldn’t stop thinking about her doesn’t mean anything at all. Be-before,” Fluttershy chuckled hysterically, “before he said anything I wasn’t even thinking it, so how could he possibly be right. He’s just put this crazy idea into my head. It’s not like I’m spending copious time thinking about her or anything.” Fluttershy chuckled nervously again.
Rarity blinked twice.
“The rabbit figured it out.”
“Um… what?”
Rarity grabbed Fluttershy’s shoulders, her eyes bored deeply into Fluttershy’s. “You’re telling me the rabbit not only figured it out, not only convinced you he was right, but he did so before I did.”
“R-Rarity, what are you t-talking about.”
Rarity took a deep breath. “Sorry darling. I didn’t mean to lose my temper there. I just thought I had a sense for these things and it turns out a rabbit—a rabbit—has understood this side of you better than I did.”
“Wait… so…”
“I thought you had an interest in Pinkie. But I only figured it out two days ago when Applejack and I were talking about the proposal. Not only did Angel figure it out before me, but he figured it out without witnessing your actions relating to the proposal. He wasn’t there, was he?”
“Um… yeah…”
“Excellent,” Rarity said dryly. “Tell me, did he see you and Pinkie interact at all that day?”
“Um… I’m still a bit confused on the… um…”
“Your crush on Pinkie?”
“… yeah…”
“Do you still have doubts you have one?”
“Well…”
“Darling, you just admitted you’re spending more time than you should thinking about her. Not only that, but she convinced you—easily I might add—to do something you were utterly uncomfortable with just a day prior.”
“But-”
“And, she convinced you to watch what you thought would be Applejack and I break up.”
“Well, she knew more than me in that moment—”
“And were you thinking of that when you opened your eyes?”
Fluttershy looked at her hooves.
“My point exactly, darling.” After a moment of silence, Rarity said, “sorry darling, I didn’t mean to be short with you. Angel figuring it out has really frazzled me.” Rarity took a couple of deep breaths. “What do you think you’re going to do about it?”
“I don’t know… probably nothing…”
“Nothing?” Out of the corner of her eye, Fluttershy saw Rarity’s eyes widen and her mouth open. “You’re in love, Fluttershy! Why ever wouldn’t you do something about this?”
“Well… it probably won’t last…”
“That’s what dating is for Fluttershy, to see if it will.”
“But… she doesn’t like me back…”
“She… she doesn’t?”
Fluttershy finally turned back to Rarity. “Well, why would she?”
“…You should ask her out, dear.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened and she scooted away from Rarity in the sauna. “W-w-why would I d-do that?”
“You won’t know if Pinkie likes you until you ask.”
“But… but what if she starts avoiding me?
“Honestly darling, do you think she’d start avoiding you?”
Well, she could. Right? I mean, wouldn’t I if I thought I was hurting her? Fluttershy tried to imagine what she’d do. No, no I don’t think I would. And she’d probably try to cheer me up with a joke or a pun or something fun.
“Darling?”
“… no, she wouldn’t.”
“Exactly, what do you have to fear?”
“I… I… I don’t know…” Fluttershy’s eyes turned back to her hooves.
“The idea of the romance, nothing more.” Rarity put a hoof over Fluttershy’s. “I know it’s terrifying dear—”
“That’s not the half of it.”
“Yes, but it’s worth it to ask anyway. Trust me when I say a good partner is worth every anxiety-inducing second. Promise me you’ll at least consider talking to Pinkie about it.”
Fluttershy sighed. “Alright, I’ll think about it.”
“Good, and think about it quickly. You don’t want her getting away from you, do you?”
“… no…”
“And do something dramatic.”
“Rarity…”
“Oh, I’m only teasing.”
Rarity laughed and Fluttershy chuckled.
“Really though,” Fluttershy said through a laugh, “just because he’s a Rabbit doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand romance.”
“Yes, I’m sure you’ve seen more than a hundred romantic rabbit dates. Oh, I can see them now: two white puffballs sitting across from each other at a candlelit rock loudly munching on carrots; another pair tossing pill bugs down a stream-alley to some propped up sticks; and two more simply reading an oversized romance novel together by a stream.”
Fluttershy’s face lost its smile. “I suppose I see your point.”
“Sorry darling, I’ll try not to give Angel such a hard time.” Rarity put a hoof to her chin. “Although, I suppose I should maybe get him a nice meal. It’s not every day I can thank him for doing such an excellent job. Wordlessly, no less.”
“I’m sure Angel will graciously accept that.”
The pair sat in silence for a moment before the conversation turned towards Rarity’s recent business. However, Fluttershy did not stop thinking, her thoughts both conflicted and confused.
Fluttershy walked slowly back to her cottage. She stepped gingerly on the tough soil of the road.
What am I going to do? What if Pinkie doesn’t like me that way? It would hurt. A lot. And even if she did… do I even want that? Sure, I’ve got a teensy-weensy crush, but nothing serious. I mean, what Applejack and Rarity have is entirely different from what we have. And it always was and always will be.
But she’s adorable. That energetic bounce when she’s excited about something is so wonderfully expressive. To create such energy in her is absolute bliss.
And nothing could compare to the captivating gaze of those brilliant blue eyes. Just thinking about them, I can’t imagine looking anywhere else. Those eyes could swallow me whole and I simply wouldn’t mind. It’d be like swimming in the sky, but without the ground to fall to.
And her fluffy mane. I could run my hooves through those billowing locks each day anew, never tiring of the tingling sensation.
Although, I suppose she does keep quite a few gross things in there, Fluttershy thought as she began to frown. I think she pulled out Gummy once. I’m… not sure I want to run my hoof through her hair just to pull out an Alligator. Would… would she clean it for me? Would I even have the courage to ask her to?
Even if I asked her out, I don’t think I’d be able to tell her when something’s wrong. Sure, Pinkie wouldn’t hurt me intentionally, but sometimes she just think things through. I guess she would fix whatever it was if I did talk to her about it. But would I even ask?
But she would do better. And she would make the effort. And—
Suddenly, a cart had blockaded Fluttershy’s path. She squeaked as the air was pushed from her lungs.
“Huh? Oh, Fluttershy, what are you doing here?”
She was in the middle of town now, in between about a dozen stalls packing up for the day. Applejack, apple cart in tow, was stopped waiting for another cart to cross the intersection ahead of her. “Applejack? Oh, I’m just walking home from my spa date with Rarity.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that was today. Say, did she mention anything about the photo of the proposal?”
“Um, yes, um… Pinkie meant to… but…” Fluttershy looked down at her hooves.
“Come around to the front of my cart so I don’t have to crane my neck like this.” Applejack interjected. After Fluttershy had fulfilled the request, Applejack continued, “Pinkie got caught up in the moment, didn’t she?”
“She brought the camera; I think it was because I was a bit… um… distraught and she decided to focus on me rather than the picture.”
“Eh, don’t beat yourself up about it. I’m sure we can do something similar. Rarity was probably much less happy about it than I am.”
“Not really, um, she’s going to draw it, I think.”
“Now that’s an idea,” Applejack replied. “Oh, where are my manners, was I in your way there? The cart’s not too wide, is it?”
“Oh, no, just a bit… distracted, I guess.”
The intersection emptied, and the pair started walking towards the outskirts of town.
“Do I need to talk to Rarity about something?”
“No, no, nothing like that.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
“No, I… I think I need some time to think is all.”
“Well, I can certainly give you that. Just know we’re all here to talk to you if you need it.”
Fluttershy took a deep breath. “I know Applejack, but thank you for the reminder.” She smiled slightly.
“Do you have anything you need in town yet, or are you on your way home?”
Fluttershy looked into the market. Most of the salesponies had already taken their leave for the day. However, Carrot Top was still parsing a few customers.
“I… I think I have some things I need to do yet.”
“Well, I best be gettin’ my cart back to the farm then. Rarity probably wants to discuss the drawing you mentioned before she gets started.”
“Don’t let me keep you then, have a nice evening.”
“You as well.”
Fluttershy watched as Applejack left her. Well, she thought, I didn’t promise him anything, but a carrot couldn’t hurt. I’ve been a little dismissive of his thoughts. I know he’s doing his best, I’m just not ready. I’m sure if I sit down and talk with him, he’ll understand that what I’m doing now is for the best.