//------------------------------// // Griffon The Brush-off // Story: Devil May Cry: Demons in Equestria // by GeekMaster101 //------------------------------// The sun began to set on the horizon, and Nero sighed as he made his way back to Devil May Cry. He had just finished another job dealing with demons, and while it paid well, it wasn't nearly enough to cover the debt he now found himself in. This time, a few Basilisks had been sighted in the meadows outside of Ponyville. It was a little bit more of a challenge than what he had dealt with previously, but the fight still seemed to be over quicker than he would have liked. I'm not getting enough jobs. While it is a good sign that there aren't too many demons roaming around, it isn't doing my wallet any favors. The devil hunter pushed the doors open and made his way over to his desk. At the very least, he can now sit down and relax for the day. He levitated Red Queen off his back and leaned it up against the wall, then he took a seat in the chair behind the desk. *THPPTPHTPHPHHPHPH!!!* As soon as he sat down, a loud, gassy fart could be heard from underneath him. ...It wasn't me, I swear. He got up and looked at the chair to find the source of the fart. There, he saw a deflated whoopie cushion sitting right in the middle of it. As he wondered how he'd missed that when he first approached the chair, Nero heard a faint snickering from outside his window. He turned his gaze to see Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash peeking in from the outside. As soon as he laid eyes on them, they burst out into laughter. "Oh hardy har. Very funny, you two." He deadpanned before chucking the whoopie cushion out the window at them. The pair continued to laugh as they ran away from the scene of the crime, despite already being caught. The devil hunter couldn't help but chuckle. From what he'd heard on his way back, Pinkie and Rainbow had been pulling pranks on everybody today. He didn't mind being the victim of one as long as it was harmless. With the threat of the whoopie cushion no longer present, Nero sat down in the chair, kicked his hind legs up onto the desk, then closed his eyes, preparing to take a well deserved nap. ...Until the phone rang, that is. With a groan, he picked up the receiver and greeted the caller with the usual "Devil May Cry." before they told him of the next demon sighting. According to their description, it sounded like there were a couple of Hell Vanguards a little ways past White Tail Woods, so there was a chance it might be challenging enough to be fun. "I'll be right over." He said before hanging up. Soon, he was out the door once again. Guess it's back to work. So it turned out there was more than just the two Hell Vanguards. Like, a lot more. After Nero had dealt with the pair of demons, several pools of blood appeared and four Hell Antenoras, along with three Death Scissors, sprouted from them. After dealing with them, even more demons appeared, this time two Behemoths and two Hell Judeccas. Then after that- ...well, you get the idea. The demons just didn't seem to stop coming. On top of that, he had to walk back to Ponyville, so by the time he got back to the shop, it was 5 in the morning. While he did have a blast dealing with the demons, he was exhausted, and immediately went straight to bed. He figured he could sleep in tomorrow, he deserved it after all. So when a certain pink party pony jumped on him to wake him up the next day, then dragged him to Sugarcube Corner for a party, he was a bit grumpy. On the way, she explained what the party was for, but the devil hunter was too tired to pay much attention. Something about a griffon and turning their frown upside down. For a second, he thought she might have been talking about the bird brain that followed V around, but the likelihood of that was slim to none, considering he'd never been to this world. Nero just chalked it up to Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. So here he was, standing in Sugarcube Corner, bags under his eyes and trying not to pass out. The interior was decorated with balloons and streamers, and refreshments had been set up everywhere. A pile of presents sat on one table, while a large cake sat on another. Pinkie was greeting ponies as they entered while everyone else enjoyed the party. Nero grabbed a glass of punch and listened in on the other partygoers. he figured if he focused on something, he wouldn't drift off to sleep. "Who's this Gilda I've heard nothin' about?" He overheard Applejack chatting with Rarity. "I hear she's an old friend of Rainbow Dash. A griffon, so rare!" The dress maker responded. Wait, Pinkie was being serious about the griffon thing? Griffons actually exist in this world? Man, I've still got a lot to learn about Equestria. Nero's attention was then drawn to another conversation, this time between Twilight and Fluttershy. "You've met Gilda, right? What's she like?" Twilight asked the shy pegasus. "Oh, um, well... I'll tell you later, Twilight." She replied meekly. I'm kinda curious about this 'Gilda' now. Is she really a griffon? Nero eavesdropped on a few other conversations that didn't really pique his interest until a new guest entered Sugarcube Corner. Instead of a pony, this guest looked like a hybrid between an eagle and a lion. There was no doubt about it, it was an honest-to-God griffon. "GILDA!" Pinkie hopped over to the griffon and greeted her. "I'm so honored to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties, and I really, truly, sincerely hope you feel welcome here amongst all us pony folk!" The pink pony raised a hoof to shake the griffon's hand- er, rather, claw. Gilda seemed to eye Pinkie with suspicion before hesitantly raising her claw to meet the hoof shake. She was rewarded with an electric shock. Pinkie turned her hoof over to reveal the buzzer strapped to it, giggling. Gilda, on the other hand, did not look pleased by the prank. At least until Rainbow Dash came over to them, laughing. "Oh, Pinkie Pie, the old hoof-shake buzzer! You are a scream!" The rainbow-maned pegasus complimented. "Yeah, uh, good one, Pinkie Pie." Gilda chuckled nervously. Her voice was tomboyish like Rainbow Dash, only somehow even raspier. After she finished chuckling, Rainbow turned to face the griffon. "C'mon, G, I'll introduce you to some of my other friends!" "Right behind you, Dash!" The griffon called out to her friend before leaning closer to Pinkie. She whispered something to the pink pony, but Nero wasn't able to hear what she said. Still, he was able to see the glare Gilda was giving to Pinkie. The pink pony in question didn't seem to pay it any mind, however, simply responding to the griffon with a "Great!" Gilda groaned then whispered something else to Pinkie. The party pony snorted and laughed in response. "Well, I hope so! This wasn't supposed to be a surprise party!" Gilda whispered to her once more, and Pinkie got up in her face, though not out of malice, as was evident by the innocent smile she was wearing. "And I..." Pinkie's eyes seemed to bulge out of their sockets as they zoomed in on Gilda. "...Got my eye on you!" After that, Pinkie began to address the crowd of party guests. The heck was that about? "Everyone, I'd like you all to meet Gilda, a long time, dear friend of Rainbow Dash. Let's honor her and welcome her to Ponyville!" Pinkie gave the griffon a hug before stepping away, letting everyone greet and cheer for Gilda. Once they were done, Pinkie offered some refreshments to the guest of honor. "Vanilla lemon drops. Don't mind if I do." Gilda plucked a lemon drop from the bowl and ate it. She made a contorted face that Nero couldn't quite describe before belching out a spurt of flames. Seeing an opportunity, Pinkie raised a marshmallow on a stick up to the flame, letting it roast. "HOT! HOT!!!" "G, the punch!" Rainbow pointed to a glass of punch that for some reason wasn't anywhere near the punch bowl. Gilda sped over to the glass, desperate to wash down the burning taste in her mouth. She grasped the glass and attempted to greedily gulp it down. When she tried to pour the drink down her throat, Nero realized why the glass hadn't been anywhere near the punch bowl. Gilda was befuddled to see the punch pouring through a small hole in the side of the glass rather than into her beak. It seemed someone had filled a dribble glass with punch as another prank, most likely the same person who made the lemon drops spicy. "Well, whaddya know? Pepper in the vanilla lemon drops, and the punch served in a dribble glass!" Pinkie giggled. "Ha! Priceless! Priceless!" Rainbow nearly fell over laughing. Gilda zoomed over to the punch bowl and grabbed an actual glass of punch this time, downing it in one gulp. "Yeah, hilarious." The griffon rolled her eyes. Her attention was drawn once again by the sound of Rainbow Dash's voice. "Hey, G, look! Presents!" Rainbow pointed to the table covered in presents. Hearing the rainbow speedster's words, Gilda raced over to the gifts in the blink of an eye. She opened one up and was met with an explosion of rubber snakes in her face. Everyone watching burst into laughter. "Spittin' snakes! Somepony pulled that prank on me last month!" AJ chuckled. "Ha ha. I bet I know who that was." Gilda deadpanned angrily, glancing over to Pinkie Pie. "You do?" The pink pony herself just blinked, clearly oblivious to Gilda's annoyance. Seriously, am I the only one noticing Gilda has some sort of beef with Pinkie? What's going on between them? The party continued on as normal after that, everyone having a good time. Eventually, Pinkie wheeled the cake over on a cart. "Cake time, everypony!" "Hey, can I blow out the candles?" Spike asked as everyone gathered around the cake. "Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike? She is the guest of honor, after all." Twilight suggested. Spike was about to reply, only to get knocked to the side by Gilda, who slammed into him with her elbow. "Exactly." The griffon sneered before taking a deep breath. She exhaled, blowing all of the candles out in one go. ...Only for them to relight themselves almost immediately. She tried again, and the candles reignited once again. The ponies around her began to laugh, and the griffon refused to give up. She continued to blow out the candles, and they continued to relight themselves each time. "Relighting birthday candles, I love that prank! What a classic!" Spike chortled. "Now I wonder who could have done that?" Pinkie put a hoof on her chin, lost in thought. "Yeah. I wonder." Gilda continued to give the party pony the stink eye. Seriously, how is no one else seeing this!? Spike didn't hesitate to dig into the cake, as in literally dig through the cake then sprout out from the top layer. Twilight scolded him, but the baby dragon didn't seem to get the hint. Gilda's seething was much more obvious now, seeing the giant hole in the cake. "Hey G, you're not upset about some silly candles, are you?" Rainbow asked the griffon, who dropped the scowl immediately. "No way, Dash. Like I said, I'm down with a good prank." Gilda reassured her old friend. It seemed to do the trick, as a smile returned to the pegasus' face. "Come on, then. Let's have some cake." She joined the other guests in grabbing a slice. Nero grabbed a slice as well, not failing to notice that the glare had returned to Gilda's face. Nero recalled hearing Twilight say something about Fluttershy meeting Gilda already, so he decided now was a good time to ask her what she knew about the griffon. He spotted the shy pegasus amongst the party goers and made his way over, careful not to drop his slice of cake. "Hey Fluttershy, can we talk?" The devil hunter grabbed her attention. "Oh, hello Nero. What did you want to talk about?" "I heard you met Gilda before and got to know what she was like. I can't be the only one noticing she's been acting... how do I put this...?" Nero scratched the back of his head. "...Mean?" Fluttershy finished his sentence. "Yeah, that works. Do you know what's up with her? What was she like when you met her?" He asked, and Fluttershy seemed to get a bit apprehensive, rubbing her hoof nervously. "She... well, she was..." Fluttershy struggled to find the words, hiding beneath her hair. "Hey, it's ok. You can tell me." Nero gave her a calming smile. After a few seconds, Fluttershy took a deep breath to relax and faced the half-demon. "Earlier today, I was leading a mama duck and her babies through town to make sure they didn't get hurt. I wasn't looking where I was going and accidentally bumped into Gilda. I tried to apologize, but she kept yelling at me, then she called me a doofus, and then she r-roared at me. I-It was really scary." The poor girl began to tremble, simply recalling the memory was enough to make her uncomfortable. Nero's lips curved into a frown. Gilda seemed like a bit of a jerk from the impression he got so far, but she was clearly worse than he realized. She went out of her way to antagonize Fluttershy of all ponies!? That was crossing a line. The devil hunter's attention was drawn to a commotion from behind him. Apparently, they were about to start playing pin the tail on the pony. Rarity asked to go first, and if she could have the purple tail, only for it to be snatched away by Gilda. "Well, I am the guest of honor, and I'll have the purple tail." "Yeah, Gilda should definitely go first. Let's get you blindfolded!" Pinkie agreed, somehow still oblivious to Gilda's behavior. Spike approached the griffon with the blindfold and tied it around her head, blocking her sight. "Hey, wh-what are you doing!?" Gilda grunted angrily before being spun around several times by the pink party pony. "We're spinning you around and around, and then you can pin the tail on the pony!" Pinkie led Gilda over to the poster with the tailless pony on it. "Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail!" "'Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail!' Hmph! Yeah, right. This is another prank, isn't it? I'm goin' this way!" Gilda said, turning to walk in the direction opposite of the poster. Pinkie tried to stop her, but the griffon slipped on a mushy piece of cake from when Spike had dug into it. She slid all the way through the doors leading to the kitchen, followed by a loud crash. When she returned, she was covered in bits of cake. As for the purple tail, it sat on her beak, looking like a mustache. "Uh, Gilda? You pinned the tail on the wrong end." At Pinkie's comment, Gilda finally noticed the tail on her beak as everyone else started laughing. Well, hey, that's what you get for- The griffon let out a monstrous, rage-induced roar. Uh oh, now she's pissed. Gilda flapped her wings and hovered above the crowd, glaring down at them. "This is your idea of a good time!? I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life! And Pinkie Pie..." She pointed a claw in the party pony's direction, "YOU! You are queen lame-o with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think you could make me lose my cool?!" "Seems like she did just that, actually." Nero finally stepped in. "What did you say!?" Gilda turned her attention to the devil hunter. "You said she didn't make you lose your cool, yet here you are, blowing up at everyone and complaining like a child just because you couldn't take a joke. Lemme guess, Had you been the one to pull those pranks on someone else, you would've found them hilarious. But because you were on the receiving end, that automatically makes it 'lame'. How 'bout you grow up and start acting your age, 'cause right now, your acting like some schoolyard bully." "Zip it, mohawk!!!" She yelled at him. "Actually, it's a faux hawk-" "I DON'T CARE! You think you're cool!? You're just as lame as everyone else here!" Gilda landed at Rainbow Dash's side, wrapping an arm around her. "Dash and I have 10 times as much cool as the rest of you put together! Come on, Dash, we're bailin' on this pathetic scene!" Gilda started marching her way out of Sugarcube corner, but she stopped when she realized Rainbow Dash wasn't following her. Instead, the rainbow pegasus just glared at the griffon. "Come on, Rainbow Dash! I said we're leaving!" Gilda growled. Rainbow glared at her old friend for a couple more seconds before responding. "You know, Gilda... I was the one who set up all those 'weak pranks' at this party." "What!?" Gilda's beak dropped and her eyes widened. Nero was pretty surprised himself. He thought Pinkie had been the one to set those up. Clearly, the pink pony was also surprised, letting out an 'Ooh'. "So I guess I'm queen lame-o!" Dash stepped in front of Pinkie defensively. "Come on, Dash, you're joshing me." Gilda chuckled in denial, but Rainbow didn't waver. "They weren't all meant for you specifically. It was just dumb luck that you set them all off." She continued. "I should've known. That dribble cup had Rainbow Dash written all over it!" Pinkie commented from behind the pegasus. Gilda still seemed to be in denial. She shook her head, not willing to believe it. "No way! I-It was Pinkie Pie! She set up this party to trip me up, to make a fool of me!" "Me? I threw this party to improve your attitude. I thought a good party might turn that frown upside down!" To emphasize, Pinkie somehow defied physics and turned her neck so that her head was upside down. That's admirable, Pinkie, it really was, but the chances of that happening were slim to none. Also, shouldn't her neck be broken like that? "And you sure didn't need any help making a fool of yourself!" Rainbow resumed standing up to Gilda. "You know, this is not how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends. If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should go find some new 'cool' friends someplace else." Gilda grinded her teeth in anger as she struggled to come up with a response. "Yeah? Well, you-... you-... you are such a, uh, flip-flop! Cool one minute and lame the next! When you decide not to be lame anymore, gimme a call." She stormed out of the building, slamming the door on her way out. "Not. Cool." Rainbow finished. "Wow... talk about a party pooper." Spike said, and the rest of the guests seem to agree as they murmured amongst each other. "I'm sorry everypony, for bringing Gilda here. I didn't know how rude she was." Rainbow looked to the ground sadly. "And Pinkie Pie, I'm really sorry she ruined that awesome party you put on for her." "Hey, if you wanna hang out with party poopers, that's your business." Pinkie brushed it off. "I'd rather hang out with you. No hard feelings?" "No hard feelings!" The two ponies went to hoof shake each other. ...Only for them both to get zapped. They turned their hooves over to reveal that they were both wearing hoof-shake buzzers, and everyone laughed at their antics. Twilight then approached Pinkie, looking a bit guilty. She apologized to Pinkie for accusing her of misjudging Gilda, and the pink pony accepted her apology no problem. Things were starting to get a bit too sappy for Nero's tastes, but it thankfully didn't last long as Pinkie got the party going again. Things resumed like normal after that. Well, that was an episode. Hopefully, once the party is over, I can finally get some rest- Nero was stirred from his thoughts by the sound of a loud burp. He turned to see Spike had received a letter from Princess Celestia. The baby dragon gave the letter a glance, then ran over to the devil hunter. "Nero! Princess Celestia says that a large group of demons had been spotted outside of Canterlot! She needs you to go take care of them ASAP!" ... "Uh, Nero?" "Yeah, yeah, I'll go take care of it." The half-demon groaned. On his way out, he told Pinkie he would take a raincheck on the party, then left to get his sword before heading to Canterlot. At least I'm getting paid for this. Happy thoughts, Nero, happy thoughts.