I reached the dining hall just a little after Ron. The words I'd shared with Draco were still swirling in my thoughts as I stepped through the doorway and saw the light lunch being put on by the house elves of Hogwarts. Cheese and egg butty was the target of my eyes—and my stomach if the sounds it made at the sights and smells were anything to go by.
"Harry Potter," Addera said as she slithered up beside me. Somehow, she always just appeared without making any sound. "You ran into Draco Malfoy."
"Yeah, she seemed kinda—" How did she seem? The normal Draco would have ignored me or accused me of something—or both. Maybe even tried to make a joke at my expense. Draco had just brushed me off, but she'd also said something. "… different. Like, she didn't try to be friends or anything crazy like that, but she also wasn't actually hostile."
She sped around and past me, curling herself up at a seat and offering a spot beside her conveniently on her coils. "It sounds like time with other ponies has softened her, Harry Potter."
I bounced up and onto her scales, my hooves doing nothing to harm her. "Maybe. She was staying with Twilight's mum. I guess she's a nice pony since she raised Twilight." I shrugged and cast a Locomotion charm to pull the plate of butties closer. "I missed these so much."
"Why didn't you make them while we were at Twilight's, Harry Potter?" Reaching out her hoof, Addera pulled a tray of boiled eggs closer. I could have sworn they weren't even there a moment earlier, but that was how house elves worked.
"Cheese is annoying to make and I don't have any of the spells that let you split food." Picking up the first toasted cheese sandwich with my hooves, I bit into it and let out a happy sigh. The bread was nicely toasted and the cheese was soaked into it, gluing the egg in place.
Addera placed an egg in her mouth and bit down on it. I couldn't see her eyes because of her glasses, but her features relaxed and a big smile spread across her snout. I guess, before my time in Ponyville, I didn't recognize expressions quite so well, but ponies (and Addera's face was all pony, on the outside) were like open books now.
When she finally gulped it down, Addera reached for a second egg. "It is hot, Harry Potter, and the yolk is runny. It's wonderful!" In the second egg went.
"What'd Malfoy say, Harry?" Ron asked me. He was having one of the butties too, though from the look of the crumbs on his plate he'd already eaten a few.
"Nothin'," I said when I could gulp down some of my lunch. "She was acting weird, though. Not the usual Malfoy style of being a git. Maybe it was being around ponies."
"What do ya mean, Harry?"
"Ponies are—" No, it wasn't about what they are. "Ponies are just different. They look at things differently. Uh, different—"
"You said that already."
"Right, but it's true. Like, a pony would look at someone who's being a right Malfoy"—my joke got a snort of laughter from Ron—"and instead of walking away or telling them they're being a git, they'd find out what's wrong. They'd try to help them feel better."
"That's barmy." Ron was staring at me like I'd just told him that up was down. "How does anyone get anything done?"
"Easy," I said, reaching for another butty. "Everypony is happy."
So far, there hadn't been any adults in the room—not counting Addera. I was starting to wonder what was going on when they all poured out of a side room together. McGonagall was in the lead and took her seat quickly. Dumbledore wasn't here, but I saw Flitwick, Snape, Pomfrey, Hooch, and Hagrid come out after her. Seeing Hagrid alive and well still amazed me, but then the next lot blew my mind.
A woman with wild-looking hair strode out like she owned the place, she was followed by Sprout, then Lupin, and Sirius walked out last. What had happened that we had so many new teachers? That question lasted about three seconds in my head before I realized how stupid it was—Hogwarts had been ripped into another universe and was at half staff.
I watched them all get settled before another woman left the side door, closing it behind her. I didn't recognize who she was, but she walked upright, still had her hands, and had a long horn protruding from her forehead. Muggle-born, then, and really lucky.
"What do you make of all them, Harry?" Ron asked.
"Lot of new teachers. I wonder if we'll still get the same classes or if they'll come up with new ones, Harry Potter?" Addera asked.
I couldn't really help with Addera's question, but Ron's was straightforward. I opened my mouth to reply when I watched the mostly-human woman, who'd walked out with Lupin and Sirius, turn her head and caught her hair changing color from violet to a deep blue. It was definitely magic, but the only pony features I'd seen on her had been a tail and crystal fingers.
It didn't make sense. How could she have gone, what, three months without using magic? She was using it right now by changing her hair!
"I don't know, Ron. There's a lot of new faces. How do you think that woman's changing her hair and stuff without turning into a pony?" I asked, trying not to point at her in case I'd get in trouble.
"Dunno, Harry, but it's a neat trick. Here, isn't that your uncle or something?"
"Sirius? He's my godfather. He's been really busy, though, and he sent a letter explaining that it was safer for me to be away from the Crystal Empire while school isn't on. His friend there is Lupin, I think. They were both Dad and Mum's friends." The rush of emotion I felt at the reminder of my real parents' fate still stung, but I didn't really know what to do about it. All that stuff was back on Earth, and from what everyone says (even Twilight) we can't get back there. "I don't know who the last one is either."
"She is lucky, Harry Potter. A unicorn horn seems to be key to using magic without a wand." Addera found a plate of scotch eggs and pulled three of them onto her plate. They smelled so good that I reached out and grabbed one too.
"Don't look now, Harry, but Malfoy just walked in," Ron said.
I turned to look and saw her. She wasn't wearing her Slytherin colors at all, instead wearing what looked like a kilt with a jacket covering her from her back knees all the way forward to her neck. Her eyes caught mine and we both looked away.
"I bet the other Slytherins turn up soon and they get all chummy again. What do you think she wanted upstairs?" Ron asked.
"No clue. We could finish lunch early and go try to find out." I used my Locomotion charm to pluck a scotch egg from the tray.
That's when I saw Draco, without casting a single spell, make her knife and fork animate and start filling her plate with fish and chips. Where was the glow coming from? How was she doing it without a wand? I had so many questions and I couldn't ask her because she was just about the most annoying pony in the school.
"Is she using magic without a wand or horn?" Ron asked.
I nodded. "Yeah, seems to be. Do you think she'd tell us how she does it?"
"Doubt it. When do you think anyone else is going to—?" Ron cut off sharply, looking at the door.
When I turned my head, I saw the others from Gryffindor walking in. George had his salamander ridding on his bare back, Fred walked at his side, trying to poke the salamander into doing something while carrying Ginny's book on his back.
That's when it hit me that even as ponies they had the same coloration. That was going to drive people even crazier than their normal antics.
"Please take your seats." McGonagall's voice echoed through the chamber. Having been focused on the twins, I hadn't even seen her stand up and approach the lectern. "You are here early, which means I will be employing all of you to assist any new students in their integration into Hogwarts' society. You Weasley boys, I want you on your best behavior. You can take any new Gryffindor students under your metaphorical wings."
"Miss, we're not exactly—"
"Do not fear, I expect your best behavior, George Weasley, not the best behavior of other students." It was a shock to hear McGonagall give the twins free rein to have fun with their task, but I guess she knows them better than I do. "I can practically feel you wanting to say something, Mr. Malfoy. Out with it."
"I don't want to be in Slytherin."
Seven words I'd never expected Draco to say. What was going on? This was crazy.
"Headmaster, I have a room I'd rather stay in, if that's okay? I just—" Draco stood up and looked around the hall. "I'm a pony now. I want to be a pony. Ponies don't live in dank dungeons."
McGonagall wouldn't go in for it, surely. I mean, I kinda got what Draco meant, but this is Hogwarts. You can't just tell them to shove a thousand years of tradition.
"Very well. You realize this will mean you cannot compete in quidditch?" McGonagall asked.
"That's okay. I only played because—because my father told me I had to." I expected Draco to collapse a little after saying that—she'd seen her parents die. But if anything she sat up straighter and seemed focused on McGonagall.
"Then that's settled. You have probably all noticed we have some old faces up here as well as new ones. Now that our situation seems more or less stable, I've sought a change in curriculum. Defense Against the Dark Arts will be widened to simply Defense—and for that you have Professor Lupin." Half turning, McGonagall gestured to Remus Lupin, who stood up and smiled before taking his seat again.
"Charms will continue under the very capable administration of Professor Flitwick." After McGonagall said his name, Flitwick stood up and likewise smiled and nodded before returning to his seat.
"Professor Snape will continue his tenure teaching potions, but his class will cover a wider field of Alchemy and Chemistry." It was Snape's turn to bow, and I was reminded that he was a kirin like me. Unlike me he'd managed to tame his hair down to a similar look to when he was human.
"Professor Sprout will expand Herbology into Horticulture." When McGonagall gestured, Sprout stood up and gave a little nod—though she didn't smile.
"Madam Hooch will, of course, continue to teach broom flight to anyone who wishes it, but now she can teach pegasi how to use their wings, too." McGonagall gestured to Hooch, who stood up and ruffled her wings. She was wearing some kind of shirt with holes in the back for her wings.
"Professor Hagrid will be teaching Care of Magical Creatures, however he will share stewardship of the class with Madam Pomfrey. Care will include medical care." Both the named teachers stood, Hagrid giving a little wave to us while Pomfrey nodded very slightly.
"Professor Tonks will be teaching Transfiguration. You can rest assured that if there was anyone in this or any other world whom is my equal on this topic, it is her." The woman with the wild hair stood up and her whole body changed. In a moment there was no more Tonks but a second McGonagall who giggled and waved at us. It was terrifying. "Thank you, Professor, please don't try giving the Weasley boys any ideas." Rolling her eyes up, Tonks dropped the McGonagall shape and slipped down into a crystal pony that looked just like Fred and George.
Elbowing Fred (at least I think it was Fred), George said, "I think I'll like Transfiguration this year."
"There remains two more classes that will officially be run by Hogwarts staff. These are entirely new to our curriculum. The first will be a class in Offensive Magic. This will build upon the dueling some of you learned last year and I hope will make the students of Hogwarts far less targets than they have shown to be in the past. Professor Sparks will be teaching this." The woman with the wild hair stood, and seemed to be able to both straight-backed and slouching at the same time. She looked to have been half-blood, so while she seemed comfortable standing up, she had no hands—but had scored a horn.
"The second class will be optional. Professor Black"—McGonagall paused a moment—"will be teaching how to become and how to control being an animagus." When she gestured to him, Sirius (a pure-blood crystal pony without horn or wings) jumped up onto the table and his body flowed down and out into the shape of a black wolfhound. He looked around us all, bowed, then took his seat again—becoming pony again.
"Why we are introducing you to these classes should be obvious, you are going to assist us in settling new and old students." McGonagall gestured to us.
"I bet she wanted to test out her speech, too," Ron said, then froze as everyone turned to look at him—including the teachers.
"While I wouldn't have put it quite so bluntly, Mr. Weasley, you are correct. These are not insignificant changes. We have had to cut several classes completely, but felt it more important to maintain some level of normalcy rather than abort the school year while we seek new teachers." McGonagall sounded a little tired. Had she been practicing this? Was she panicking about having to run the school herself?
"What about the heads of each house?" Fred asked. "We got Professor Lupin…"
Sprout spoke up, "As last year, I will be head of house Hufflepuff."
"And I Slytherin." Snape seemed to glare at Draco as if he could make her catch fire with just the force of his eyes—for all I knew that might be a power kirin got as adults. It would certainly explain why they kept burning their village down.
Everyone looked at Draco. Not having a house seemed like the craziest thing in the world, but—but I think if the alternative was being surrounded by Slytherins, I might take that option too. Maybe she was onto something.
"When you're all done eating, feel free to take your leave. Just be aware that we're expecting students to begin arriving over the next several days." McGonagall left the lectern and returned to her seat.
This was going to be weird.
When the last of the students had marched out of the hall, Jenny Sparks deflated a little. She couldn't believe it had all come down to this. She was meant to be a keeper of the peace. She took all the little bumps that witches and wizards made and smoothed them out so that muggles and wizardkind could all live cozy and happy lives.
Now she was a teacher at Hogwarts. Hogwarts! She looked at the others, thankful that Albus Dumbledore wasn't still here. "So, my teaching plan was okay?"
"You mean the one where you teach all the students how to throw fire, fire, and more fire?" Sirius Black asked. "It sounds great! I heard Rolanda is a master at water magic now." Manic sarcasm wasn't just his defense in Azkaban, it was a way of life.
It was the kind of camaraderie that Jenny could remember in her training days. She raised a hoof and sent a little jolt of magic up her horn in a wordless spell akin to her namesake. "Might want to stay close to her, then. I hear fur burns real well."
Severus Snape had the luxury of seeing someone else not just antagonize Sirius, but actually get under his skin. But he was here for a reason. Gingerly, using a knife and fork, he dissected the scotch egg on his plate and peeled the crumbing away first, then the meat, and finally had the three components separate on his plate. That's when he finally started eating.
Relaxed to be once more inside Hogwarts, Rubeus Hagrid tossed egg after egg in his mouth, chewing each once or twice before gulping them down, much like a full human might eat popcorn. Holding up his fork, he gestured forward at an imaginary foe. "An' then he was all panicking about somethin' or the other, so I 'it 'im with the cell door. Strange place, that Azkaban, no animals about."
A little overwhelmed by Rubeus, Nymphadora just managed to nod at the wild story he was telling. Azkaban was meant to be some terror used to threaten young witches, but he made it sound like some kind of crazy adventure. "What about the dementors?"
"Oh, them. Well, we weren't lettin' them in on account of closing all the doors and such. That's when the dragon attacked and someone ripped a wall off the place. Right inconvenient that, though they only seemed interested in them death eaters." Rubeus leaned back in his oversize chair, ignored its creaking, and gazed up at the ceiling. "I'm still reminded, sometimes, of the sound that dragon made as it clawed at the enchanted stones. Right 'orrible it was. Not a normal dragon at all if'n you ask me."
The story, if just half of it was real, was amazing. "How'd you get away?" Nymphadora asked.
"Well, me trusty old bike—I guess it was technically Sirius' bike—was always good at turning up when needed, and by gosh weren't it needed. We piled on, rode the bike back to the coast and caught the Knight Bus to the portal and through it." When Rubeus saw that Nymphadora looked incredulous, he shrugged his big shoulders. "'M not embelish'n or nothin'. That's the honest truth, that is."
It would have been completely unbelievable if Nymphadora didn't know that Alastor Moody had come back with them. She let out a sigh—Hogwarts had always been filled with characters, now she was one of them. "I guess we could have a drink of something and discuss it further. I'm curious about what the place was like."
"I'll need a stiff drink or two to spend any time thinkin' hard about that place. I mostly just try to forget it. Maybe we could ask—Sirius." Rubeus looked over at the man he'd wrongly thought guilty. "Thinkin' I owe him a few drinks at that. Hey, Sirius, Tonks 'ere wants to know about Azkaban. Join us in a drink or two later?"
Glad to have a diversion from the crazy (to him) fire witch, Sirius Black turned his attention to Rubeus and smiled. "Sure thing, old friend. We'll drink long into the night and remember things fond and not." The sound of Minerva McGonagall clearing her throat pulled him back to reality. "No more than one or two, of course."
"How much you drink is your own business, Professor Black, except when it's done in Hogwarts castle." Minerva turned her full glare on Sirius. "Keep it until after the last class and see that it's no more than two."
Sirius, who was in a bit of panic, relaxed and smiled at Minerva's demand. "Of course, Headmistress."
Hermione Granger hadn't changed too much from arriving in Equestria and using magic. She had hands, she had mostly human features, and she had her supportive parents—but she also had a tail that was every bit as unruly as her hair was, she had hooves, and she had supportive parents. "Mum, it's never going to brush out neatly."
Mrs. Angelique Granger didn't often frown, but her daughter's hair had always caused her perpetual smile to wane just a little. Having discovered that her daughter's tail was just as unruly had brought her dangerously close to a thin-lipped glare. "I'm sure with another hour of—"
"Mum!"
"Well"—Angelique clicked her tongue with the same sharpness she'd use in her dentistry practice when seeing the result of a lack of brushing—"we can't just leave it like this. What if we gave it some body, like with your hair, so that it spreads out a little better?"
"It was just fine, Mum." Hermione looked at the clock on the table beside her. She'd been perched there for nearly twenty minutes while her mother was trying to divine a way to tame her tail, but now things were getting too close. "I'll be late if I don't go now."
Her daughter was an ongoing conundrum to Angelique. Even with the latest changes, she'd been as supportive as she could, but things had become problematic when they'd had to just abandon their practice in England and skip not just to another country—but another world entirely.
"Have a good day, dear, and remember to have a little fun." Angelique waited for Hermione to get down from the table to kiss her on the forehead.
"I will, Mum."
As she watched her daughter run out of the crystalline home she now resided in, Angelique felt her husband approach and put his arm around her. "I can't for the life of me work out what to do with her hair."
"She'll figure it out. I was talking to the headmaster of the school, and she said it's a common trait for witches to have wild, untameable hair." Mr. David Granger, gave his wife a kiss on the cheek. "I talked to Cadance—the empress, it's still hard getting used to having such royalty just there and willing to talk. She's right happy to have a dentist opening up. She didn't sound the least bit put off by having us not be wizards."
"You can't say we didn't do well off the weird folk back home. Those galleons had so much gold in them we had a small fortune just from the odd case we took." Turning in her husband's arms, Angelique kissed him firmly enough that he wasn't able to reply for well after the kiss. "What is the currency like here? Comparable?"
"I worked that out, too. The local coin for here and Equestria are bits. They come in gold, copper, silver, and aluminium—value wise, in ascending order." David waited for his wife's eyebrows to raise. "Sadly, all those gold coins we got are almost worthless here, but darling, remember the cookware you made me promise to haul?"
A case of the giggles overtook Angelique. "The aluminium cookware?"
"I'll never doubt you again, Angie." It was easy stand there, his wife in his arms, and just let the world flow by, but David had more to do—they both did. Eventually he said, "So, we need to open our practice back up."
"There's no Diagon Alley here, though. Where will we find magical medical supplies? Or any medical supplies, for that matter?" Angelique used another kiss to distract her husband and slip from his grip. "For that matter, do we need any qualifications?"
"We'll need an assistant or three. Plus, if there're any differences in equipment here, we'll need some training with it. Cadance said we should visit Canterlot and investigate these things." Following Angelique to the bench, David helped her prepare two bowls of oat porridge.
"No matter where we end up, Dave, we'll always find people—or ponies—who need to have their teeth cleaned, straightened, and replaced," Angelique said.