I would say before I knew it, the sun was rising, but it felt exactly as long as it took before the first yellow rays made their way onto the horizon. It was hours of me walking down that hill of a trail before Celestia thankfully raised the glowing yellow orb into the sky. It took longer for it to rise than to set, but within five or ten minutes, it was hanging high in the middle of the sky, warming up my fur and my frostbitten ears.
I was tired, so tired from walking all night. My hooves were starting to hurt and my ears and face were absolutely aching from the cold, but I kept moving anyway. I still wasn’t sleepy, what with my little nap that I had in the middle of the night, not to mention another one directly before I got here. Plus, walking was keeping warm and concentrating on not slipping and falling had me focused on things other than what I didn’t want to think about. I could probably go for a while longer, and then when the air had warmed up more, sleep in the sun and walk again at night.
It was disheartening though to see how slowly I was moving though, how much longer the distance between myself and the green was. Turning around for a moment showed that I was nowhere near where I started off this journey, thankfully enough, but the green I was heading towards seemed just as far away now as it was before. I wasn’t as frightened about how much walking I had ahead of me anymore, but that didn’t make the sight any less depressing. How long was this trip going to take?
“Fuck you,” I said aloud as I walked, mostly to myself, but imaging that the spellcaster could hear me. “Fuck. You,” I said. “All of this for one tiny joke. You’re absolutely horrible.”
More horrible than that though, at least for the moment, was my voice. It sounded less like my own and more like my father’s, extremely deep and bassy, a place my own voice had luckily never gotten to. Thankfully though, there was something I could do about that, and it was called voice training. Even better, I wouldn’t need help doing it this time like I did when I trained originally, since I already knew what I was doing. It was something that could be done while I walked.
“Heat from fire, fire from heat,” I started as I moved, still watching the trail carefully. I almost imagined it was getting steeper as I walked, and sure enough, I came to a spot where it flattened out for a few feet before dropping too steeply for me to be able to make my way down. If I were a human, it’d be no trouble at all, but as a pony, I wasn’t sure I’d be climbing down. Even more than that was the trail taunting me at the bottom of the drop-off, leveling off into something much closer to flat past this fifty foot section of cliff.
I’m gonna try and get down there and break my leg, I thought to myself. I just know it. Break my leg if I’m lucky, break my neck if I’m not.
I pranced in place in my spot, trying to decide how best to go about this before I finally just screamed out in frustration and sat on my haunches. I knew that this spot was basically a dead end with no way to advance, a thought that made me want to pull my mane if I had fists. My options were staying right here and not moving, attempting to make my way down and certainly breaking my back in the process, or heading back up the trail and seeing if I could hopefully find another spot to descend. An idea that would add on who knew how many hours to this adventure. As untenable as the first option was and scary as the second was, there was no way I was going back up after making my way down here.
“God damnit, come on!” I complained as I sank down onto my stomach. I wanted to cry again, but was unable to, whether because of all the tears I had last night or my new hormones, I didn’t know. I was tired and cold and starting to get hungry, and I hated every single thing about this. There was no one here to help me all alone on this mountain, and Luna couldn’t help me because of whatever dumb international law apparently. This wasn’t supposed to be how being a human in Equestria was supposed to go. This wasn’t supposed to be how real life was supposed to go, but apparently it did.
I laid in the snow until my stomach and body started to get numb, then forced myself to stand back up. I guessed that was another good thing about the cold. It kept me from being in one place too long and forced me to get moving, even when things were looking hopeless and frustrating like they were now. Unless I wanted to get frostbitten, I would keep moving.
“Come on, Rally,” I told myself out loud. “Rally up some strength or an idea or something. You’ll have lots of time to cry later when you’re safe.” Or, you know, dead when I broke my neck.
I didn’t start heading down immediately. I began with pacing back and forth by this ledge, trying to think of what I could possibly do to get down there. I was a unicorn– something I forgot about again until I looked up and saw the tip of my horn off of my forehead. That meant in theory I should know how to use magic. A few minutes of trying to do something with it though proved that I was no Lord Zulu. I was inept at spell casting, not that I had any idea what kind of spell I would use on this cliff. What else was there?
It took more than a few minutes of pondering before I looked down at my hooves. Ponies having a magical hoof grip in Equestria was a thing, although it was something that was hardly ever talked about. I wondered if that was the case for me, and gingerly tried to pick up a hoofful of snow with one of my front hooves. No luck. I didn’t give up though, spending more time than I’d like to admit trying to get it to work. I tried the snow, then just random rocks and pebbles that I saw lying around, then eventually my mane, hoping they would be able to latch on to something. Nothing seemed to work for me, however.
I took a deep breath to keep myself from screaming. So I had no magic and no hoof grip. Fine. I would figure this out, because turning around was not an option I wanted to consider.
I looked over the edge for a long moment, trying to consider if there was any way I could head down. There were ledges and stuff built into the side of it, but those would be useless if I couldn’t grip them. I’d be able to go down maybe six or seven feet before falling if I couldn’t grip stuff, turning the fifty foot drop into a forty five foot one. Either way, I’d likely be just as dead.
The more I looked at what I was facing, the more I was certain I wasn’t going to be able to make my way down it. It was a frustrating sight, made even more so as it confirmed the fact that there was really only one course of action for me to take from here.
“Eerrggghh, god! Fuck!” I screamed as I started to angrily stomp my way back up the trail. I hated being so angry, but I couldn’t help feeling my temper flaring up. I knew the reason why, but tried not to think about that because it only made me more angry when I did. Nothing about this felt like myself at all. It felt like someone I left behind years ago.
I only made it a couple hundred yards before I stopped again. I was not going back up this hill, and that was final. Heading backwards was not an option in my book. Having to waste an entire day and night heading back up to find another way down this mountain would be way too demoralizing.
I got back to the edge of the cliff and paced back and forth along my tiny section of trail. I didn’t know how I was gonna get down there, but damn it, I was gonna do it. This was Equestria after all. I’d never seen or heard of one pony dying, other than Applejack’s parents, but I didn’t think that happened climbing down a mountain. Besides, there was an episode where Rainbow Dash broke her wing and was healed in a day, and one where Twilight was slammed against a wall by Tirek without any trouble. That had to mean that ponies were more resistant to injuries than people were.
I was gonna look like such a fool if I broke my neck and died.
I took one more breath before I started making my careful way down the side of the cliff. I moved backwards so I could start by placing my back hooves on the ledge, manipulating my front hooves so that I could have some grip on the ledge with my fetlocks. It was risky business, but it was certainly better than nothing at all. Infinitely better than walking back up this mountain.
My body was shaking in anxiety as I looked down to find the next spot to place my back hooves. I gingerly let my front hoof hang out, now having only one fetlock to support me as I leaned down to get to the next spot. I felt my hoof touch the rock it was supposed to be on, but then screamed as my limb suddenly slipped out from under me.
Nearly. It nearly slipped out from under me, but I was luckily somehow able to gain control of myself and stop that from happening, but only barely. Now, though, I was absolutely shivering in fear, wanting to stop and pull myself back up. My lack of hoof grip, however, told me that that wasn’t an option anymore. I could only continue to descend.
What the hell is wrong with me? I asked myself as I shook. Why did I think this would be a good idea? I’m going to die falling down this ledge.
I stayed where I was for a long minute, taking deep breaths to try and get myself calmed down again. I didn’t want to be shaking while I tried to get down this cliff without breaking my neck. The more stability I had, the better.
Come on, Rally, you can do this, I encouraged myself as I quickly moved my left hoof down to the ledge my right was on. You thought this was a good idea, after all, now get your butt moving. Err, flank moving.
I took another breath, but just before I could move, a particularly strong bite of wind hit me, making me clench my jaw from the cold. I couldn’t do this. I didn’t know what I was thinking, deciding not to just head back up the mountain. I could not do this. If I had moved any earlier, I would’ve lost my balance and fell. It was only a matter of time before I slipped and killed myself.
You’re not gonna die. You promised yourself a long time ago that you wouldn’t die as a man, and being a stallion is the exact same thing as that. Now get moving so you can find Twilight Sparkle and get yourself out of an ugly, masculine body for a second time. You did it once, now you have to do it again, and you can’t do that if you’re stuck whimpering on this ledge.
That gave me the encouragement I needed to continue down. Somehow, even without any gripping ability or magic, I was able to make my careful way down, step by step. It was a slow process, but before long, I was a quarter of the way down, then nearly halfway. I was starting to get more confident in myself, and began to move more quickly so I could stop hanging off the side of this mountain. I wanted to get my hooves back on dirt… err, snow, anyway.
That was a mistake however, because the next thing I knew, I was slipping. This time, though, I wasn’t able to catch myself, my back hooves slipping completely off the ledge they were on. I screamed again and closed my eyes, certain that this would be the end of me.
Instinct, thankfully, was a powerful thing. By pure instinct, I was able to grip onto the side of the cliff and hold myself up. Not that it was a good position to be in; my hooves were dangling out under me, no ledge around me for me to rest them on. I was hanging onto the side of this cliff for dear life.
“Someone help me!” I yelled loudly, desperately hoping someone was around. That was my only hope for not falling. Hanging here and hoping someone would save me. Granted, being nearly halfway down helped. Thirty feet wasn’t fifty feet, but it still wasn’t something I wanted to experience falling down.
“Please, someone!” I begged, closing my eyes and hanging on for dear life. “I need help! Please!”
I heard no answer, but I hoped someone was coming. All I could do was hang on. I didn’t know how I was, and was too panicked to try and think about it. That might have been a good thing though. I’m certain had I put conscious thought to it, my grip would’ve given way right then and there.
Not that it wasn’t then. I could feel it slowly starting to slip, much to my terror. I tried to pull myself up, but didn’t have the strength to. There was nothing below me to land on except hard rock, so I couldn’t let go without dying. All I could do was try my best to hang on as my hooves started to lose their grip.
“Lord Zulu, please!” I got out in a last ditch effort, on the verge of tears. I knew it was unlikely that he’d hear me, but I didn’t want to fall, and was willing to try anything.
“I won’t mess with you again!” I pleaded. “I’ll give you whatever you want! Just don’t let me die like this! Please! I learned my lesson!”
As if he were listening and trying to spite me, my grip slipped further, and I knew it would only be a moment before I was falling. I teared up at the thought that I would die right here, on the edge of a cliff near the top of a mountain as the very last thing I wanted to be. All of this for a dumb joke.
A second later, my grip was lost, and I was falling. I was able to turn over to see the ground crashing toward me, and closed my eyes to brace for impact. It was an impact that never came, however, and after several seconds, I opened my eyes to see that I was suspended in the air. There was a brown glow of magic around me holding me up somehow.
My heart was pounding and my body was shaking, tears running down my face as I gasped for breath. I turned my head to look up and see who it was that saved me, finding a brown pony with a whitened out mane and little mustache, a unicorn. He was dressed in a little bit of armor and had a stitched together threadbare cloak, a stick for a staff and a rusted bucket for a helmet laying on the ground next to him. I recognized him as the stallion who lived on Mount Everhoof, which meant I at least knew where I was, although I couldn’t remember his name. I also didn’t remember him being a unicorn, but I certainly wasn’t going to complain about that.
“I hafta say, that there was a close one,” he started as he gently laid me down on my stomach in the snow. “Good thing I heard yer screamin’ when I did. Another second and ya’d be painted all over the side of this here mountain,” he said as he magicked his bucket back on his head, covering his smallish looking horn. “What were ya doin’ up here anyhoo, what with no gear or winter garments or nothin’?” the stallion asked.
I couldn’t answer him. I was already too busy sobbing.