Goated

by ItsYaBoiSatan


The pasture

On earth:
The day started like any other, accept today was different. Today marked the Lunar New Year of the Goat. Many different forces and energies we're running rampant in the universe, like a state of cosmic unrest.

On Equis:
Up in the mountain, Stagnant and still from the outside world. It stood.

In between:
Discord was sitting on the couch eating paper when he noticed his hoof needed a scratch, his GOAT hoof specifically. And it wouldn't stop no matter what he tried, at least to his knowledge.

"Now listen here you nitwhit, if i wanted to make a hoof stop itching, i could've done it ten times over already."
"At least to my knowledge"

...

"What's the matter, are you done narrating me"
He began tapping his other foot.

His hoof began to itch furiously this time, and their would only be one way to stop it. To cause some form of goat related chaos.

"Okay Geez, you can stop it with the itching."
"Let's get on with the fun bit of creating some truly wacky scenarios."

-Curtain close-


A portal opened up, not in any place in particular other than a farm. A Very Particular Farm. What a coincidence, it just so happened to spawn right behind a farmer. And he might've just so happened to fall into it, along with two goats that felt the energy pulling them into the portal.

Upon entering they had formally passed out, and the farmer dreamed. He didn't know what it was that he saw, but he was confident it wasn't normal, It looked ancient. He tried to reach for it but was just a few inches away before he couldn't move.

They sleep in the forest, untouched by the surrounding wilderness. The goats dream of the bell, They know what they see for they hold it in their dream. But for now, they rest. A once believed in God knows they need it.

It was currently night which gave sight to her, she saw it as they came through. Luna saw their dreams but did not intervene, she only thought.

'This troublesome bunch might lead us on any number of dangerously endearing adventures.'

"I must tell Celestia at once."

She traveled through the dream realm until she found Celestia's. Many lavish Desserts we're lined up on silver platters across the room, and Celestia was currently stuffing herself with cake from the royal kitchen.

Luna was almost appalled with the sight of her older sister engorging herself, but put it aside.
"Celestia, three deviant entities have entered Equestria, they could prove to be dangerous if left unattended."

She quickly finished her mouthful.
"Just send twilight and and her friends after them, Easy."
She then proceeded to burp
"Excuse me, that was rude."

"Now, what exactly we're the creatures that have infiltrated Equestria?"

"One of them is a strange bipedal creature, it doesn't seem to have the same tendencies as the other two, but it still might be a problem in its own right."
"The other two would seem to be normal goats, if it weren't for their confusing and impossible connection to grogars bell."

"Hmmm, how did they get here? "

"That's the problem, i haven't a clue."
"I just felt the allure of their dreams, there's somethings off about them, they just, arrived."

"Can u tell where they are?"

"In the Everfree, somewhere, it's hard to tell, they don't currently know their own destination, so it's kind've rough guestimation."

"Interesting, I'll send a message to twilight about this in the morning, keep an eye on their dreams for now, if things get out of hoof we can take control of the situation."

"Alright, though i don't appreciate your laid back nature with how serious this situation could get."
"Goodnight sister, I'll wake u once it's morning."

"Goodnight Luna, I'll see you in the morning."
She then went back to stuffing her face as usual.

Celestia went back to sleep, and Luna made sure to leave her to it. Luna went back into the dream realm to check on their visitors, it didn't take long to find once again.

What she found exactly was a surprise, there was nothing. The strange creatures dream was completely and utterly void of anything, except black. It was a backdrop of nothing, except a singular thing in the distance.

"Hello, is any creature there?"

No response

"I am princess Luna of the night, you seem to have entered into Equestria quite recently."

It turned around

"If I may ask politely, who are you?"

"I don't know anymore, what's my name?"
It scratched it's head

"I don't know, would you like one?"

"Yes, I would please."

"Alright then, from this day forth you shall be referred to as Goat Keeper."

"Goat Keeper?"

"I think it fits."

"I kinda like it."
"Goat Keeper, it has a nice ring to it."

"So, Goat Keeper, do you know how you got here?"

"No, I don't think so."
"At least, I don't think I know so, where are we?"

"We are in the dream realm, you are currently asleep."
"Do you have any idea of what you are?"

"Yes, i know what I am."
"I'm human, I think."

"Two other creatures arrived here with you."

"Really?, Where are they?"

"Right next to you, also sleeping."

"Well dang, i guess I'll meet them when i wake up."

"These other creatures could prove to be devious, can you keep an eye on them for me in the waking world?"

"I guess so, but no promises."
"Promises are for fools."

"Wherever did you hear that?"

"I don't know, somewhere, kinda hard to remember stuff like that."
"Are you done asking questions, because I also kind've have one too?"

"Proceed."

"If were in the dream realm right now, then why is there nothing here."

"Well, it's your dream, it really depends on what's going through your mind during life."

"But there's nothing going on in my life, right now at least."
"Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow night."

"Wai-"

It woke up.