Twilight had to admit that Blessed Fang’s idea of a picnic and just having a night of rest and relaxation was exactly what everypony needed.
She had found herself enjoying the time with the Lord and his wife quite a lot! There had been food, some laughter and casual conversation. Twilight had been actually surprised at how much she had enjoyed Lord Consort Kindlefang doing a thorough critique of the different types of honey and her rather strong opinions on, of all things, scented candles. What had made it even more hysterical had been Blessed Fang opening up a little and letting her know that he hadn’t ever tried lavender honey. Which the mare had taken as a personal affront not only to herself but the entire beekeeping community of Family Fang, vowing to amend that so quickly she had almost called her servants to gather some of said honey right that instant.
And to everypony’s joy, the weather had held up, despite some gathering clouds. At the end of the night, Blessed Fang had looked that much more lively and satisfied, especially when compared to his overburdened self during the recent, spiritual events.
And Twilight, herself, had felt in high spirits, seeing smiles and good humor all around...
... well, almost.
She had been assured that the Lord had sent out proper bats to the other Mountains earlier that night. And as soon as the replies would come, the next step of her journey would also happen. For the next night or two, she was more than welcome to enjoy her time with the Family, in whatever capacity she would find proper.
So the next night meant a slower, but orderly pace for Twilight. She knew that, as much as she would want to witness absolutely everything about the Mountain of Fang and the Family’s ways, she had to begin preparing for the road ahead. And the challenges which it would bring. She didn’t know yet who among the Covenant would be her next host, but... she had her thoughts on that.
And, as it looked like, her entourage had those as well.
“I’m not certain if Lord Crimson Shade will relent to the visit, Honored Princess...” Midnight commented, checking the state of his breastplate despite the fact that it must have been as spotless as yesternight during the picnic. “Not that I wouldn’t be hoping for it, but his grudge runs deeper than the Shades’ lower mines. I’m sure you have learnt all about it during Coweneu meetings, haven’t you?”
Twilight had sworn not to reveal the contents of those gatherings, but... Midnight wasn’t a pony that needed many words. He had witnessed one of the talks himself, he would know.
Still a question came, from none other than Rowan Berry. And in a sharp tone. “Would you blame him, Midnight Wind?”
“No, I’m stating a fact,” the stallion replied, not bothering to make eye contact. Instead taking care of a real or perceived stain he had spotted on his armor. “It does not mean that he cannot change his opinion, however. It would be a simple and traditional courtesy to allow the Honored Princess to see Iug u Umber.”
The healer grimaced a little and shook her head. “With all due respect,” she said, nodding Twilight’s way, though the melody of her voice left something to be desired. “I see very little chance for that. Hwalbu haspadr Grimzinu Umber is a perfect example of the Shades. Their firm and unforgiving stance on some matters. And he would sooner eat his own Lord’s circlet then forget what happened during Cruziate.”
Well, that wasn’t very promising, Twilight thought. Again sitting by the smaller table in the antechamber, she was strongly considering everything.
Yes, she had given herself a break last night. But it was once more time to tackle tough topics and muse on maddening matters.
And while understanding the complexity of the issue, which would cause Lord Crimson Shade to be harder to approach... Twilight had not once nor twice seen a terrible situation work in her favor in the end. She was sure that even somepony like him could be reached from the right angle and convinced that openness and an honest talk was the better alternative to animosity.
... and she couldn’t think of a better “angle” than Friendship. Especially since that sounded much better than any form of political manipulation.
She had made a choice to do a... test run of that as well. Tonight.
Because it was nothing short of foolhardy to simply ignore “some” stances. And she didn’t mean only the possibility of having to fly right past the Mountain of Shade on her way to someplace else.
“Mountain of Dusk, Mountain of Crescent, Mountain of Sunfall...” Twilight muttered to herself, returning to the conversation for a moment longer before moving on. “Quite the choice, truth be told. I... think Lord Dusk Harvest would be most likely following Lord Blessed Fang as our next host.”
Midnight breathed and huffed onto the metallic surface, continuing to polish it with diligence. “Seems likely. His is the closest Mountain from here, aside from Iug u Umber. And I know that the Valleys are also something to interest you, Honored Princess. I’m sure you will enjoy both the orchards and the lower altitude.”
“Very much so,” Twilight admitted, nodding thoughtfully at both of those opportunities. “I am most intrigued to see what your agricultural techniques are. I’d like to provide a well-considered solution and opportunity to Noctraliya, depending on what exactly could be improved, if we are to enter a new sort of relations.”
She meant her words. Though she managed to spot a little grimace from Rowan Berry at them. And Twilight was rather certain that it wasn’t just her imagination.
Midnight, in the meantime, put down the cloth and checked his own reflection in the breastplate, appreciating his work. “I’m sure that could be a strong argument, Honored Princess.” He put the armor down, with nothing short of reverence. “It’s not a secret, actually. The last few years the harvests were passable, so food at least wasn’t a terrible issue. But I think we all are worried if there were to be true, Bogine cronae, times of vaunt...”
“It’s times of ‘want’, Midnight Wind,” Twilight corrected him, but her voice was somber and understanding. “It would be beneficial for Noctraliya to know that it isn’t alone in such moments. Not anymore.”
Again, Twilight had nothing to gain with being duplicitous here. She truly believed that.
Whether everypony believed her... that was a different matter entirely, considering Rowan Berry’s glance.
Something to be addressed, Twilight decided.
“I’d like to do some more sightseeing tonight, before the inevitable flight onward. Yet before even that,” she began. Sounding a little regal but without the unnecessary exaggeration. “Rowan Berry, would you come with me? I would like to discuss something. Between the two of us.”
The mare looked at her with interest, her brow furrowing. “Tac, hwalba knaze? Do you require my aid?”
“It is a matter of aid,” Twilight admitted, encouraging the healer with a little gesture. “We’ll talk in my chamber.”
Rowan Berry quickly got up, with the diligence required of her position, and trotted through the chamber calmly. Still, Midnight’s gaze was following the mare with unmistakable caution. When it met Twilight’s own stare, she conveyed to him that she was being, likewise, vigilant. And that he had to trust her.
And not eavesdrop on the upcoming talk... though she imagined that it could have been too tall of an order for her beloved.
When the doors between the chambers closed, Rowan Berry stood nearer to the entrance while Twilight took her place at the table in the center. Still wishing to invite the other mare to join her, as she wanted to make this conversation as... “non-uncomfortable” as it was possible. Which would definitely be a challenge.
“Please, Rowan Berry, sit,” she encouraged the healer further, seeing that she was a tad reluctant. At such a direct request she, naturally, complied, but her moves remained mindful and practiced.
“How can I help you, Honored Princess?” she asked, with that small amount of keenness that could have easily been connected to her talent and calling.
Whatever that calling was.
“I wanted, mostly, to talk, Rowan Berry,” Twilight began, putting her hooves on the table. In a, she hoped, conciliatory gesture. Even if the topic of conversation would be far less diplomatic. “And know that I wish to do so without holding any ill will towards you. I simply have a few... observations that I would like to be transparent about... and hopefully receive some clear answers as well, if only you are... permitted to provide them.”
“Permitted?” the healer asked, sounding rather surprised. Whether it was genuine remained to be seen. “I mean... I would be happy to answer your questions if the answers are within my reach, hwalba knaze.”
“I sincerely hope so,” Twilight replied.
Again, honestly. There was a good amount of belief in her that an open conversation could deal with a lot of animosity and antagonism. Maybe some ponies would brand her naïve and optimistic to the point of being callow... but she couldn’t care less. She was yet to consider intrigue to be her strong suit. As such... Twilight preferred to stick to her own thing.
She took a deep breath. “I have, especially lately, observed a change in your attitude, Rowan Berry. A marked change, I would say, but whether it is so I leave to... interpretation. It is not that I think you are failing in performing your role as a retainer, as that I couldn’t possibly claim, but... I have an inkling that you have grown far more serious. Gloomy, almost. I take into consideration the various other, possible reasons for it, but... almost gone is that excitable healer that came to aid me at the Sanctuary...”
As she was talking, Twilight was paying very close attention to Rowan Berry. For many reasons.
For the same reasons, prior to the conversation, a helpful item had been place on the chair next to Twilight. Yes, there was her magic, but... one could never suffer from pre-planning too much. Especially if some unpleasant scenarios were to be considered.
After all... she had already experienced a curved dagger burrowing itself on the other side of the door she was standing by. And since, well... the more sentences escaped Twilight’s mouth, the colder did the other mare’s eyes appeared... caution was most warranted. The healer’s coral gaze was visibly losing its vibrancy, as if the sun shining through the sea and evoking the brightness of the seabed had dimmed. Hidden behind gathering, storm clouds.
But Twilight was ready to face the storm. In many ways. Depending on which ones would be necessary.
“Which makes me want to ask...” she continued, her stare unflinching, but her heart beating faster and faster. “... has accompanying me been such a draining and tedious task for reasons that I’m sure could be considered valid... and I would not hold against you were you to name them,” Twilight assured, putting as much honesty into that sentence as reason allowed, “or was that simply a performance? A mask that you have decide to let go of, Rowan Berry?”
The mare said nothing at first, just looked back with a keen, yet strangely absent stare. That blank expression on her muzzle and her straight, glaucous mane really did make her look like a strange spirit, fixated on the pony before it. Ready to share its otherworldly wisdom... or strike, for the nerve and daring of having called it forth.
The haunt... had a question first and foremost.
“What... would make you say that, hwalba knaze? I admit, the journey is long and it can get tedious, but I have been assigned to you and I am attempting my very best... That I am not reaching that ‘best’, I feel that I want to apologize...”
There was truth in her tone, despite how cold it sounded. Twilight squinted just a little. Those sentences had many, many meanings. Was the mare trying to convince her... or was she speaking to herself and some unknown witnesses to this exchange?
“Rowan Berry,” Twilight put emphasis on the name, “you are perfectly capable of grasping why I am saying it all. It is not me calling you out. Pointing a hoof at you and screaming ‘knew it’ or anything else. If, indeed, I already am correct in assuming your role and your task.”
The healer took her time to answer. Tension clenched her jaw, but other than that, she wasn’t making any sudden moves. Something about her bearing and stance was simultaneously deflective and... transparent. At least to Twilight.
Rowan Berry finally spoke again. “I am a healer, hwalba knaze... Mine is the role to provide aid in matters of health and natural remedies.”
“That I won’t deny...” Twilight replied, leaning in just a little. “I have every reason to believe that yours is the talent of a lupule. I also am aware that, whilst most of the night dwellers practice one profession and have access to the caste knowledge reserved for them... that is not always the case.”
A little spark in Rowan Berry’s eyes was enough to discern that she caught onto the notion without any delays.
Her voice, however, remained the same. “That is not an arrangement I should speak of.”
“In general?” came Twilight’s retort. But, realizing it had been almost biting, she raised her hoof a little. “I will repeat what I said. I am not here, having this conversation against you, Rowan Berry. I understand the concept of patriotism and loyalty to one’s country. And I know that sometimes faithfulness needs to be practiced through matters clandestine. Do not think that such a situation fills me with fear. I’ve had... experience in this already.”
Twilight wondered if the mare knew exactly whom she had in mind. There was a chance. Or this was simply becoming one, gigantic fluke and misinterpretation of certain signs. But... that seemed less and less likely.
The healer took a deeper inhale. “I’m not sure if I can be helpful here, Honored Princess. If you are prepared for such a scenario...”
Twilight briefly wondered if that was a taunt or just an expression. She would wish the latter, but... being open did not mean being oblivious.
“I am prepared for it,” she claimed, sounding a little bit more firm. But just briefly. “However... I prefer to lay things on the table, since I hope that my actions so far did prove that I have nothing but good will towards Noctraliya and its inhabitants. You not least of all, Rowan Berry... if you would just accept that.”
“Is that why—!”
Twilight flinched just a little at that sudden, if broken, outburst. She could see how the mare’s nostrils flared and her ears twitched, she could almost testify that the tufts on them puffed up in a surge of anger.
But a second later, Rowan Berry resumed the perfect composure. Which shift had little to do with a young caretaker, overwhelmed by her task.
“I profoundly apologize, Honored Princess, stress is getting the best of me,” she claimed, in a tone of obvious denial. “I am ready to continue my assignment to the best of my abilities and my assignment is to be by your side.”
“And spy on me.”
“To be by your side,” the healer repeated, in the same, blank and empty tone.
And Twilight felt a little sting of irritation. She wasn’t going to let it influence her, however.
“Rowan Berry... I simply want to talk,” she assured the healer, no matter how strange this assurance would sound. “I understand the need for keeping eyes on things. Those eyes are often hidden, I found... But I don’t want there to be animosity, just mutual understanding. That I do not pose a threat to the noctrali. I am not asking you to abandon your mission, betray who exactly has assigned you to my entourage. I’m not even sending you away.”
At those words... the healer’s eyes widened a little. There was a small tilt to her head, even.
“You... what?”
Twilight could find it in herself to smile, but decided that keeping things a bit more serious was for the better. “Call me naïve or even weird, but it is not my intention to unmask you and banish you subsequently. No. Honestly speaking, at your very first appearance I had a hunch that you joining my retinue was some sort of an additional precaution that had less to do with my health and more with just natural distrust. I have decided to banish the thought and focus on my role as the Princess of Friendship... but I feel like just now I have finally reached the correct stance on the matter.”
The healer’s expression betrayed that she was confused. And she wasn’t outright denying some things, which was a proof in itself. The very fact that she wasn’t protesting and pretending to be absolutely and utterly innocent was also curious.
So Twilight continued, trying to sound altogether firm and kind. “You’re doing your job, I would expect nothing less. But... I have little to hide. My intentions are open. I have come to Noctraliya for the same reason I am sitting here with you, Rowan Berry. To talk, to find common ground. To show transparency and honesty and receive at least a little of it in return.”
The mare on the other side of the table almost flinched and her expression turned into one of bewilderment.
“That has to be... one of the silliest stances I have ever witnessed...” she said, not bothering to sound nice.
Which was good. That was honest.
“I suppose you might be right to some extent,” Twilight assured her, embellishing that sentence with a small smirk. “Offering Friendship to others can make one vulnerable... but it does not make one lacking. Or weak. Nor does it make one stupid...” she accentuated.
She fought doubt and worry for the briefest of moments... but then lit up her horn.
The effect was immediate.
Rowan Berry sprang up from her chair, almost toppling it and assuming nothing else but a battle ready stance. Twilight had seen it from Midnight before. This was a posture of somepony that had received proper training in responding to threats, both regular... and not, as she could imagine. The healer’s eyes narrowed and her pupils dilated in preparation for anything. Her back legs readied a jump, dodge or a pounce, her wings prepared to beat, one of her forehooves came right by one of her little satchels. No doubt containing whatever distraction or weaponry to quickly perform an attack of her own in retaliation.
But that was not going to be necessary. Nothing further happened.
Other than, well, a confirmation. A proof for certain assumptions and observations.
Twilight extinguished her horn, not changing anything about her position otherwise. Just looking at Rowan Berry, calmly and with her own measure of grace. But not uttering even a word. Nothing had to be said, after all.
And the healer knew it as well. She held her position for a few more heartbeats, participating in the staring contest. Twilight could even let her win that one... because another game had already been lost. And lost clearly.
“I believe you are not stupid yourself, Rowan Berry. If that is even your name...” Twilight continued her previous thought, unbothered. Or at least appearing so, because her heart was thrashing in her chest and she could feel it all the way in her ears. “You’re simply being loyal and faithful to your creed. And I simply hope that this creed of yours won’t make you an open threat to me. I might be a Princess of Friendship and try my best to live by its tenets. But I know that to you, I am a student and disciple of the Judging Sun. A bearer of the Divine Aspect. I can bear it down on your head... even if I wouldn’t wish it.”
It wasn’t necessarily a threat. At least, Twilight didn’t care to mean it like one. But a simple fact. She wasn’t one for violence or conflict after all... but that did not mean that she had the luxury of not being prepared for it. She considered that, in such regard, Midnight Eye had taught her a thing or two after all.
The other mare took a few more breaths. When she understood that there would not be a true attack, her stare began shifting. To normal. Well... whatever “normal” could be achieved in such circumstances.
Or so Twilight thought.
“... well played, soleerane.”
The declaration was as biting as it was cold. And alongside it... it was as if a switch was flipped in the mare’s head. After all, to continue pretending would be folly.
Her whole body language changed in a blink. She assumed a proper, elegant stance, then gracefully shifted towards the chair she had pushed away. She grabbed it with a fluent, steady motion. Returning to take her seat with the grace of a noble mare, shifting her head to have her mane neatly flow down the sides as she again glanced at Twilight. And in that glance it was hard to find any worry, any nervousness, especially not one of an overwhelmed healer, assigned to accompany a foreign dignitary.
Those were the coral, keen eyes of an experienced operative who, whilst called out, was not intimidated nor put on the defensive. And in which stare Twilight could all too easily see a personal distaste for herself... if not even more than that.
Still... that didn’t mean that the cause was lost, right?
“So... how should I call you?” Twilight asked, trying to match the atmosphere with the tone of her voice whilst still remaining both civil and open.
“My name is Rowan Berry. And I am a healer,” came the reply. Stoic, but laced with the sort of slow-acting poison that would only make the conversation harder and harder to stomach, Twilight thought.
There must have been an attempt though.
“Glad to learn that, Rowan Berry. And I take it that you are an occultane.”
“Let us not bother exchanging obvious knowledge,” the healer replied, with a small, but most unpleasant smile. “You know that already. How, I don’t really care. I am aware where my mistakes lay. And yet, for some reason and even with that realization... you decide to keep me around. Which brings me to a less obvious matter. What is your game?”
That was a quite blunt question, considering everything.
“There is no ‘game’. I have no real interest in those,” Twilight claimed, focusing on projecting a certain level of majesty. If she was going to be met with such a stance from Rowan Berry, it was a reasonable thing to do. “First of all, I want to see whether it’s possible to have an honest conversation with you. That you have your task does not mean that we cannot find a way to... coexist in mutual respect.”
The other mare gave her a particularly icy side-eye. “So you trying to... befriend me? Is that it?”
“I’m giving everypony a chance.”
Rowan Berry’s expression turned into one of venomous pity. “I know a good soleeranu expression for this. ‘That’s rich’,” she commented, with ridicule. Most obvious ridicule. “You poor, sweet mare. You have a spy right under your muzzle and you think that simply making friends shall make all the possible bad things to happen go away...”
“No. But maybe it can spare us at least some bad things,” Twilight insisted, biding her time for the strongest arguments to resound. “And even if we cannot hope for that, I see no reason why we should be enemies at the very least.”
“I’m having hard time believing this to be in any way sincere... You sit there, all high and mighty in your beliefs, so much so, that you are willing to delude yourself if only to follow your agenda? Who would be so monumentally ignorant of the world around them? To miss the obvious signs that her path is folly?” the healer asked, leaning forth and squinting, as if trying to decipher Twilight’s most veiled thoughts.
“I don’t know. I’m not the pony who sent you, Rowan Berry.”
The unveiling of said thoughts was so rapid that the other mare looked momentarily stunned. And Twilight used it to her advantage.
“I will repeat it as often as necessary, because this is nothing but the truth. I have no ill intentions towards anypony. I come here with an open hoof, seeking not to deceive, not to manipulate, but to show that we can find a way in the world together,” she explained, doing her best to remain calm, collected and clear in her words. “I’m not an agent of Sewira Solee. I’m not here to destroy your lands. I’m not here to taint your religion or culture or—”
“Clearly not,” came Rowan Berry’s short, but strong interruption as soon as she managed to regain her bearings.
And Twilight would recognize the tone which had been used as easily as any other mare. Which, strangely, made things that much more transparent and straightforward.
As much as matters of emotional attachment could be straightforward.
“I see. Well, that is not the form of bitterness one can do much about... But assigning blame for such a situation?”
Rowan Berry caught on well that her protest had been read through. Not that she felt discouraged by that.
“What else are you expecting, soleerane? You’re a wide-eyed filly, nothing else. What you have...” she paused, glancing towards the door leading to the antechamber, “... it’s abominable to think of.”
“Love is abominable to you?” Twilight retorted, but that only caused the healer to hiss. And viciously so.
“Don’t even mutter that word! I maybe could understand your ignorance, so typical of Ekwestriyau blood, but him!” Rowan Berry’s tone turned the mention of Midnight into a most dreadful and despicable fact. “What vile, twisted promises have you given him? What forbidden arts have you used? To turn a warrior, a paragon like him, focused and strong a-and loyal... into owec. Blindly following you like you were his shepherd! His new goddess!”
Twilight almost missed it among such daring accusations... but there was that little shudder in Rowan Berry’s voice. Duly noted.
“I have done no such things. As you know enough already... I’m not going to deny this love. Enough said that you are not the first to learn of this...”
Twilight did strongly point that out. Also considering that she had been in such a situation before. Heard the same allegations from Deep Mist all that time ago, the same sort of language. Hurtful and unfair... And yet...
“... and yet Midnight Wind is still at my side. Though I imagine he could have been told to leave at any moment.”
The healer bared her fangs and hissed... but in her expression there was not solely anger. Also a lot of... Twilight wasn’t sure what, actually. Something contained. Something bubbling up, but kept secreted with sheer force of will... and loathing.
“Listen...” Twilight attempted to reach the mare again, though she doubted she could do so through said topic. “This wasn’t by choice or ploy or whatever other scenario you might be envisioning, Rowan Berry. Love simply doesn’t work like that—”
“It really doesn’t, does it?”
Twilight wasn’t sure whether that was acknowledgment or mockery. Maybe a bit of both.
“But I won’t be ashamed by this,” she insisted. With all the strength of her will and of her feeling. “I respect your traditions and wish not to disturb or disrupt anything. Besides, even this is not why I am here,” she pointed out the truth. “My reasons are going beyond just my bond with Midnight Wind. I will say it again, I wish to extend my hoof to everypony. Even those initially unwilling to take it. I think it is worthwhile to try.”
The other mare shook her head. “And... you think it is that easy?” she asked. There was more trembling in her voice, though she tried to keep it under control. “You come here, invited honorably, yet you are more than ready and willing to meddle in our affairs—”
“How have I done so? Ever since I came, I have done nothing but learn your ways, discuss all the issues, calmly and openly accept even signs of great, great discourtesy. Even from the Lords. Still I believe that there can be a bond forged between our races and nations. One that will strengthen everypony.”
“You...! You say that whilst the blood of our ancestors is on your hooves!”
“There is no blood on my hooves whatsoever,” Twilight calmly responded, hoping to sound as conciliatory and yet as strong as it was necessary. “Upon learning the truth, which I had no way of knowing before, I showed every bit of understanding I could have mustered and then some. The tragedy of your kind is undeniable and a dark blot on history. With the right approach, we can come to a solution that will both honor those that perished and allow their memory to bloom into something more.”
Rowan Berry was shaking her head nervously, as if she was trying to get rid of some disgusting insects buzzing around it. Was she trying to ignore everything that was being said just like that? Or was that some sort of—
“And Maednoc Wentr!” she blurted out, almost slamming her forehooves on the table, standing up in a fit of anger. “Why you?! Why would he choose you?! Why not...! Why...!”
Twilight took a deep breath, accepting the outburst, but not paying it back. There was a better way.
“Rowan Berry... I don’t know,” she replied, trying to calm the mare, as laborious as that task could be. “I simply don’t know. I... wouldn’t think myself special. And I don’t mean my position, my Divine Aspect, as those are not feats nor traits that would make me desirable in your culture, I imagine. And I did not think, nor did I envision that I would ever be chosen by a brave, batpony warrior. Having in mind your traditions and your deep respect for your bloodlines.” Twilight was going to bite her tongue, but... something told her to continue anyway. “And why not somepony like you, you wish to ask? That I also do not know. I suppose you would have to ask yourself that.”
A moment of silence came across the chamber. A stillness that, after so many words, was much appreciated, but heralded only more to be said and to be clashed over. Twilight, on her part, was trying to calm her heart down. She managed to keep up the facade of serenity, which was most important. Doubly so when sitting in front of Rowan Berry at that moment.
Twilight could easily see the healer’s shaking forelegs. She could hear each and every, ragged breath escaping her mouth. And she could definitely spot that the mare’s eyes seemed a little... glassy, as she found enough determination to cross her stare with Twilight.
Although... that gaze was not one giving much promise when it came to a ceasefire.
Rowan Berry took a half-step back, as if pushed by the strength of Twilight’s eyes... and stumbled down onto her chair. She breathed in a few times, then ran her hoof across her forehead, to remove some strands of her mane and let it flow down without more interruptions. She was definitely regaining composure and whether there was shame about losing it... well, her voice didn’t testify of it.
It was cold and sharp, like an icicle precariously aimed at one’s head.
“I could ask myself. I could also give answers. Answers that would hurt you. Right down to your core.”
“What’s stopping you?” Twilight asked. With serenity. Enough of it to make Rowan Berry huff and hiss.
“I don’t overstep. I know my place and I know my role, and I surely don’t paint myself as some sort of a perfect mare that will come around with good, silly words for everypony and everything shall be fine, just like that!”
Now, that just felt like an unreasonable reply, but... Twilight knew it would be folly to try and dig deeper into it. It was clear that Rowan Berry had formed a strong emotional attachment over Midnight during her time travelling around Noctraliya lately. Maybe it was even love... and Twilight would find it hard to blame her, honestly. But for the same reason... the healer would not be above saying empty, harmful things just because.
That she was ready to do it was certain from the look of her tear-soaked eyes.
Twilight took another deep breath. She wasn’t sure which one that very night. “I simply want you to know... that I am not your enemy, Rowan Berry. I never was and I don’t wish to be. Unless you want me to become one.”
There was a momentary pause... before the healer chuckled. “How very noble and regal of you, soleerane...” she said with anything but praise. “Just send me away. You won’t have a constant problem right under your muzzle. A serious problem that could do you a lot of harm, that I can assure you of. And all that we need is one order. You don’t know half of what the likes of us are capable of. It goes beyond your greatest fears...”
Twilight would not lie and claim that such a declaration didn’t cause a shiver down her spine. Though she kept it contained, she believed, as nothing about Rowan Berry showed that she had spotted that moment of weakness.
Still the healer declared further. “So spare yourself both the trouble and the inevitable failure of whatever this... charade of ‘Friendship’ is. And send me away.”
“No.”
Twilight’s calm tone remained. So much so that it caused Rowan Berry to tilt her head.
“Oh my, what is stopping you?” she parroted the previous question, lacing it with a truly poisonous mockery.
But the answer was far more benevolent. “Because I also know my place, Rowan Berry,” Twilight announced, holding her head high, but trying make her words as kindly as possible. Despite everything. She had to try. “For I am a Princess. It is my role to care for other ponies, it is my great mission in my life. Regardless of nation or race or anything else, my task is to help with word and gesture, with action and with warning. And I know... that by sending you away, I would put you in horrible danger. So I won’t do it.”
Rowan Berry’s head moved just a little, but that was enough for Twilight to continue. She might have missed something about the mare’s body language... but she knew she had just struck a chord. She felt it. She heard it, almost...
“You don’t need to confirm or deny, you don’t need to even comment, Rowan Berry. If you have your orders and your loyalty, I cannot ask you to break or abuse any of that. But I have every reason to believe that you were not assigned to me from Honored Lord Dusk Harvest. Nor from the entire Covenant. And if I am not wrong... then I have every right to also believe that were you to return to your true haspadr... or haspadre...” Twilight corrected herself, but that didn’t get her anything new. “... your well-being and life could be endangered. And that I cannot allow and won’t.”
There was another moment of silence. Silence that was heavy and overbearing, especially after such a declaration. Yet it was also another opportunity for Twilight to catch her breath... though it might not have been a break, but the ending of this particular exchange.
For it was hard to say what Rowan Berry would do. She just sat there, almost motionless, as if frozen in place by the chilliest of winds. Looking at Twilight with those coral eyes of hers, in which there was... a storm. A blizzard happening.
... had this talk succeeded? Twilight wasn’t going to be gullible, but... she could be hopeful.
The stillness continued. And so did the tumult. Rowan Berry didn’t flinch nor move a muscle and it would be foolhardy to try and discern what was going on in her head, considering the absolute chaos of feelings all twisting and turning right in her gaze. At least... Twilight wouldn’t dare to peer deep into all of that just to learn whether she was successful.
Actually... she had to be ready to accept that she had failed in this little challenge she had put before herself. Though that was far more than just a test of Twilight’s abilities. It was a genuine offer of help or... well, at least a plea for a ceasefire. But whilst on the matter of spying, there could have been some measure of “progress”, as she imagined... little could be done when it came to pure emotions and calls of the heart. After all... they ruled themselves. And reason had no true sway over them.
Twilight would know... She was helplessly in love with a batpony, despite everything happening around her and all the obstacles she could think of.
“You will not endanger my life...”
Rowan Berry’s whisper brought Twilight back to the present immediately.
“... but you would have me by your side. Making me watch as... as you glance at him. As you try to hide smiles and kind gestures...” the healer uttered. She wasn’t even looking forward at that point, her gaze... lost. Somewhere else. Maybe inside. “You would not send me away, but instead force me to witness the unthinkable... Maednoc Wentr. Wampir. Nocferratan—” Her voice hitched. “He risked his well-being, his very life in the verlupte. Only to win. For you. For a soleerane...”
She laughed briefly. A laugh that as far away from joy as it could have been imagined. And brought anything but joy to Twilight, considering her own trepidation over Midnight’s latest wounds.
Rowan Berry’s eye twitched just a little. “Him... and you. Of all ponies...! If you only kn—!”
Pain. Physical, deep pain manifested on the mare’s muzzle as she clenched her jaw and shut her lips. She wanted to do nothing more to say something, to shout something right in Twilight’s muzzle, but... she had stopped herself.
... and that gesture of forced silence against every ounce of gathered emotion was terrifying for Twilight. More frightening than whatever was to escape from the mare’s mouth. What knowledge did Rowan Berry have and what was causing her to stop herself so viciously...?
There was little time to ponder on that, for the healer had inhaled deeply and then let out a long, almost depressed hiss.
“I won’t be the one to break my oath...” she muttered, though it was hard to tell whether she was reminding herself or Twilight of the fact. “I will be ready for departure... hwalba knaze...” she returned to the proper title, but there was little respect in that. It was training, whatever parts of it the healer decided to return to from then on.
Enough said, the mare stood up, gave Twilight a little curtsy and then trotted away from the table, not a word nor a glance shared anymore.
When the door opened, Twilight did wonder whether Midnight really had heeded her and stopped himself from listening all the time, or was he simply so fast to return to his bed... which would have been quite the achievement, considering the state of his. Nevertheless, he was checking something in his bag as if nothing clandestine had been happening.
Rowan Berry trotted through the antechamber without a word and then left, closing the door behind her in a way which was entirely too calm.
Midnight waited for exactly five seconds, then wasted no time to spring up from his bed, with a little groan of protest from his own body, and made his way to Twilight’s side.
“Iau lumn...” he whispered, not giving her even a moment to reply, but closing the distance and kissing her right on her lips.
She would protest, wanting to talk outright... but that could wait a few seconds as she shared this encouraging and rejuvenating gesture.
Twilight savored the moment... and then another, easily tempted by the closeness... but that was enough. She broke the caress and stared at Midnight, as he held her muzzle tenderly.
“So... how much have you heard?”
The stallion exhaled in a short laugh, then shook his head. “You think I would be eavesdropping after getting that glance from you? Who exactly do you take me for?”
“A warrior that is very, very worried for his beloved?” Twilight replied and it seemed that her response was accurate as Midnight grinned stupidly just a little. “So, did you hear all of it?”
“Not all...” he admitted, his face falling just a little. “But just enough not to ram the door down and do something about it all.”
He paused, looking the way of the antechamber. In his eyes, Twilight saw not only irritation, but... something more. A deep-seated... frustration? Rage? She must have, considering the hiss that came from his throat.
“Ipeu ver cesa, that...!” he began clearly fuming, but somehow managed to stop himself from spewing more vulgarities.
Twilight was grateful. That wasn’t the direction she would prefer the conversation to move... even if the topic could become particularly unpleasant. “I get that you can be angry, Midnight... but you also do realize that she’s... hurt, right?”
“She’s also an occultane...” Midnight replied with intensity, as if that word could suffice for an insult on its very own. “There’s far too many occultani around for even my tastes...”
Twilight cupped his cheek gently, hearing the absolute distaste and a touch of sadness in his voice. “It’s alright, Midnight. It’s not pleasant, but... well, it’s a part of the situation, I imagine. The more I learn about the philosophy of your country and the history, the more I grasp why I would be observed and investigated. Even prior to my arrival here. That wouldn’t surprise me.”
“Yes... I suppose it’s an inevitable occurrence,” he admitted, leaning into her touch quite visibly, his eyes losing a lot of their vibrant look. “I just... you didn’t and you don’t deserve that. Any of that. Believe me that I truly think so.”
“I do, Midnight...” she replied, leaning in to nuzzle him a little, hoping that would help his perturbed expression.
The stallion inhaled and participated in the gesture, with care and tenderness. “Also believe me when I say, that you are... one of the bravest ponies I have ever witnessed. I mean, I knew that for some time now, but...” He leaned away just a little, to look her in the eyes again. “You, outright talking with a member of occultani. Offering them your kindness and your generosity and...” He paused to chuckle just a little, thought it was a somber expression after all. “How can one not be moved by it? Regardless of loyalties and oaths. Your stance... it can touch a pony’s heart.”
Twilight smiled. Deeply and with gratitude. Even if she didn’t feel like she had truly succeeded that night... it was always a warming thing, to hear such praises. Especially with Midnight’s keen tone and his yet more keen eyes, looking deep into hers.
“Please, Midnight. I’m really not doing much, just... being myself.”
“I love that ‘yourself’.”
“Glad to hear it...” Twilight admitted, not able to stop a little giggle. But then she had to be more serious. “And I try to see a pony in... everypony, however strange that sounds.” She stared at the doorway as well, but found it hard to feel anything but... pity for Rowan Berry. “We all have our roles to play. Sometimes, we need to deal with our... clashing feelings and loyalties. She’s just doing her job. She’s having issues with it too.”
The stallion hissed just a little, apparently far less understanding. “You could say that again...”
Twilight would have to work on that a little.
They didn’t know how long they had, but they decided to move from the table towards her bed. And, despite all the bandages and the stress, it still felt very nice to enjoy a long and gentle cuddle with Midnight. It was definitely something that Twilight found necessary, as all the tension of the conversation started to finally cause her to shiver and her legs to hurt a little, with waves of cold passing through her. Like she was buffeted by mountain gales, unfeeling and constant.
It helped to have a stoic protector against such inside threats.
Midnight rested his muzzle on the top of Twilight’s head, sighing deeply. She heard... and felt him taking in the smell of her mane, which also caused her right ear to flick. She looked up towards him, seeing a portion of his neck tensing up for a brief moment.
“What’s wrong?” she began... though she expected that she would have far more to reveal in that regard.
Still, she granted Midnight his turn to speak first and he went to do so with honesty. It felt like it. “Is it weird of me to think that... Well, I would have really preferred life to be less complicated than it is.”
“Define ‘complicated’,” she requested, listening in to the hum of his voice in his chest, occasionally reinforced with his heartbeat.
“With less... everything, I suppose...” the stallion tried his best to explain. “I mean, without all the troubles so far in... I would say in both of our lives. The challenges, the choices... but... we wouldn’t be where we are. We wouldn’t even have met without us having certain roles and without making certain choices. Do... I make sense?”
“I think so, yes...”
Midnight nodded to himself, squishing her head just a little. But it was a nice feeling. “And maybe I’m saying what I have before said, but... why could we not have just... I don’t know, normal lives...?”
“Less issues, less worries, just us and our love?” she inquired and he hummed in approval. “But, you have just said it. Do you think we would have met if that were the case?”
Midnight grimaced a little, she could feel that wave of tension going through him. “No. I know we wouldn’t have... but I don’t think me or you... I don’t think anypony is looking forward to their lives being more... complicated than necessary, no?”
Twilight pondered how much of this sentiment was due to the conversation he had listened to... still, she couldn’t disagree. Not really.
“I think I know what you mean. And where you’re coming from...” she admitted, but that only caused him to hold to her tighter. “But, well, life’s not easy in general. For anypony. Not me. Not you. Not even a mare like Rowan Berry.”
Midnight hissed just a little, which was... a rather unpleasant sound to hear. And to feel against one’s own head, Twilight decided.
Unfortunately... the unpleasant things would have to continue, she imagined. Considering what had happened in the very chamber. And what was happening still in her head. That gnawing feeling, that one splinter that lodged itself in her after what the healer had said... or hadn’t said.
Twilight... hesitated for a breath. She would ruin the moment quite likely. And after all those wounds and the blood... she wouldn’t want to cause Midnight any further discomfort, especially outright. But... Rowan Berry’s actions and her stopping herself from certain actions... that was hard to simply disregard. Or accept. Or ignore. Or anything else that would make Twilight shut her mouth that very moment.
“Midnight...” she called for him. Uncertain and sure at the same time.
“Ia bid hic, iau lumn...” he uttered.
“You... you heard what she was saying at the end there... right?”
Twilight felt Midnight’s legs hold her with that little bit more strength. Was it tension or reassurance...? She couldn’t tell. And that was definitely not reassuring.
“I have heard, my light...” the stallion admitted, clearly waiting for her further questions.
“Do you... what do you think she meant? What did she want to say...?”
Midnight stayed silent for a few moments. She could almost hear that subtle sound of grinding teeth as his jaw tightened. Did he... did he actually know something and was holding it in?
... again? It would not be the first time he held something back from her.
So Twilight was thankful when he actually spoke up. Maybe she would get some answers. Clear ones. Not that she would be overjoyed to learn he had withheld something from her once more. Hadn’t she asked him to trust her and be open always?
“She’s an occultane. Occultani, in general, have knowledge on the... how do you say it... inner workings of the Lords. Not all of them, I am sure, but they are let in on certain, deep secrets and schemes. And... you do realize who she is the servant of, no?”
“Yes, I do. Or so I believe...”
“Tac, well... she has to be aware of some things. Plots that... might be aimed at you. Or me. Or us... as I am more than certain that Altu Opar spared no details of our relationship, true or exaggerated...”
Twilight would have to agree with the reasoning and yet... that wasn’t a transparent answer. Just... something about all of it seemed very cautious. Too much so.
... he knew something and wasn’t telling her. He absolutely did! He wasn’t actually expecting her to leave that alone, right? She couldn’t. She couldn’t just accept his words and move on.
“Do you... do you know something but you don’t want to tell me?” There was that little bit of hesitation in that question. She didn’t want to have a fight with him... She didn’t need that right there and then.
But that uncertainty in her voice was exactly what seemed to have hurt him the most. Midnight leaned back a little so that he could look her in the eye. In that gaze she saw that touch of sadness... but also, and there was no doubt about it, great love and dedication.
It was such a shame that he was holding something back. That was marring that keen stare quite visibly for Twilight. And it was obvious that it was weighing on him heavily.
“My light... I am nocferratan. A protector. I carry my title and fulfill my role... I try to, at least. Maybe... maybe I’m not being the best at it. Once again.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.
A little satisfied that he was seeing an issue, but worried about that incredible burden that manifested in his gaze. She turned around, to face him fully. Making sure to put one of her hooves on his. Yes, she was concerned... she was even a little irritated and trying to contain it. But she wanted them to work through that concern together.
Midnight appreciated the gesture, that much was evident. Without losing that tether of connection, he sat up, looking pensive. But committed to whatever course of action he decided to take at that point.
“I... Listen, I try to spare you when I can. When I can take things on the chest, as we say...” He took a deep breath and even bit his lip a little before speaking up again. “Yes, maybe I was stupid again. Once again. Maybe I should have been more transparent, more clear, I... I am sorry. Truly. Perhaps I’m just flawed... Perhaps I’m simply... I’m...”
He wished to say something. To diminish and berate himself, most likely, as Twilight saw that shiver causing his entire body to shift. His fangs almost drew blood from his lower lip. His gaze shone and yet remained encumbered when he spoke again.
“She... Rowan Berry was ready to seduce me. From the start. The very start...” he started, his voice filled with conviction. “When we were on the way to Iug u Maednoc she wanted to manipulate me into betraying you. Into forgetting my love and devotion to you. She wanted to be ‘intimate’ with me... is... is that how you say it again?”
Twilight, even among the freezing sensation enveloping her entire body, did speak up. She found her voice blank and cold. “Yes, that’s the expression.”
“She threatened that, if I don’t become closer with her, she’s going to bring the Lords’ wrath on our heads.” He was still looking at her, fighting the urge to look away in shame, that was obvious. She could at least appreciate his valiant effort, even if that was the only positive feeling she could muster at the moment. “She was... she would be ready to poison you, if ordered to.”
“... is that why you poured the drink for me after my visit to the effiti place? During the meeting with Lord Blessed Fang?” Twilight found herself asking. Maybe a little randomly, she admitted, but Midnight did nod anyway.
“She wouldn’t be able to do anything there and I also wanted to be, you know, nice to you... but... habit might have happened as well, I suppose.”
Twilight felt a grimace manifesting on her muzzle. “And you... found it better not to tell me about any of this?”
Midnight’s brow furrowed, not that it hadn’t already been showing tension. “I... thought it better, considering everything on your head, to keep an eye on matters myself,” he explained. With intent. One that Twilight didn’t know yet whether she was entirely enjoying. “To let you concentrate on your role whilst I would keep you safe from her. You had so much to tackle, only lately things began to look a bit brighter, and—”
“So instead of warning me and telling me all of this...” Twilight interrupted him, thought trying to limit the amount of emotions in her voice. And in herself. “... you just vaguely admitted that she was ‘making a move on you’ the last time I pointed things out? Suggested that she could be an occultane, although you knew it all along, is that so?”
Midnight’s expression twitched once, but he was also containing himself. Not that Twilight found it pleasant in the slightest that there was this mounting tension in the room.
“I knew you’d figure it out yourself in due time. But there wasn’t a good opportunity to just let you know without disrupting things, you would have been distracted by all of it, and—”
“You knew all along. And you didn’t tell me.”
“Kirwe, I want to spare you some ache in your life, ache that we cause you!”
He spoke with strength. Both in his tone and in the way he almost desperately grabbed Twilight’s hoof. But then he shook his head and hissed again, mad mostly at himself.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry... Listen, I know how things run around here. I know what we are doing. You made me even more aware of just how... how unacceptable and short-sighted can our actions be. Mine as well...” he admitted, now clearly upset. But he never let go, his touch becoming even stronger, almost to the point of hurting. “My light, iau dilece, with everything happening, you had to concentrate. Focus on what was crucial in your mission... and I focused on what was crucial in mine. Protecting you. I would handle a spy,” he declared, with conviction.
With pride. There lay his lapse.
“Handle a spy...” Twilight repeated after him, somewhat surprised at her vexed tone... but not that much. She wasn’t looking for a confrontation, and yet... “You have yourself warned me of the occultani. Of how much of a threat they can be. Deep Mist eluded you at first and then he almost slit your throat with the blades. Rowan Berry was coercing you. You’re a brave warrior, that’s for certain... but what gave you the conviction that you could ‘handle’ them? What sort of advantage do you have? What sort of a secret way of doing so, that you are claiming it with so much certainty?”
Midnight’s face fell even more than it had done before. He remained where he was. Silent. Still. Only his eyes spoke. Of shame. Of hurt.
Twilight wasn’t enjoying what she had to say and do.
“You revealed it yourself. Rowan Berry would be ready to poison me. Were you there when she was medicating me for my headache and back pain? Should I understand that I could have had a bit too much of a dosage given of that poppy remedy? And I would have never woken up?”
Midnight wasn’t going to interrupt, Twilight knew it. He was accepting whatever castigating was going his way. But that argument did completely break whatever retort he could muster. She felt her own heart rending a little at that look in the stallion’s eyes.
Only deepening when she took her hoof away from his. Without saying anything she got off the bed and trotted to the table.
“My talent is magic, you know,” she reminded him. She knew he accepted her “gift”, but... was hoping for him to feel at least some discomfort. “I have spells for many occasions. To clean. To carry things. To change place. To give myself some aid in seeing in the darkness. To shield myself. To battle many, many foes. Some of those I tackled wielded incredible powers. They were far greater than one operative with secret training and a personal grudge. I hope to be able to best the challenges before me... but do you think I am so certain, so sure of myself to claim that I can ‘handle’ everything? Just like you just did?”
She turned to face Midnight, having stood by one of the chairs, right next to where she had sat during the talk with Rowan Berry.
“You know I love you for who you are. You’re my protector in more ways than just those usually connected to your role and rank. But I’m powerful. An alicorn, of Divine Aspect,” Twilight pointed out. A second time that night. As if she had to repeat her points to the exact same pony. “Still, I try and not to fall into the trap of false confidence. Back in Equestria, I have my friends to lean onto, if I have to. I wrote to the Judging Sun, even, for help and guidance,” she spoke, calmly and regally. “And I did open my hoof to Rowan Berry... but I armed the other.”
She looked him in the eye, moved the furniture and produced the silver hoofshoe, the gift from Avalanche.
“Just in case.”
Midnight’s muzzle was a picture of depressed acceptance. He didn’t even flinch when the metallic click caused the blade to protrude forth, sharp and definitive. But he spoke soon after.
“You’re right...”
“To Tartarus with whether I’m right, I don’t even know if I’m making a point here!” Twilight replied, finding it impossible to stop herself from being indelicate, nor expressing her frustration. “I’m not ashamed that I have chosen to try and befriend Rowan Berry! It’s my calling, I’m the Princess of Friendship! But I would have preferred to know.” She paused just so she could take a breath. And to lower her voice a little. It would work better, she thought. “Is it really that hard? To trust me? To tell things to tuu lumn i tua dilece?”
Twilight had no idea whether it was the Noctraliyar or just the very words she had spoken, but Midnight’s gaze first sparked up, like dry straw catching fire, in something akin to recollection... and then fizzled out in a blink, as all the blaze turned into dead and cold ash.
She knew that stare. She recalled it well. That night in the Sanctuary, when she had found him after a whole day of prayers.
She knew she had touched him. She hoped that, despite the pain... it was a healing touch.
Midnight got up from the bed. Slowly, but that care had nothing to do with his wounds. He trotted towards her. Looking down until he made his way before her. And although he was slightly taller than her, the guilt and the shame made him hunched and almost... small.
But he wasn’t small in her eyes. Not with his care and his love. Twilight just... wanted him to be honest with her. Open with her. For him to finally step out of the shadows of his pride. If they were to continue growing in their relation even further... he would have to.
Midnight finally looked up at her. With guilt. And with that very care and love she wanted to feel from him.
“What...” he uttered, his voice quiet. “How... can I make it up to you? How can I be worthy of you? With all of my... my...”
She reached out, moved a strand of mane from his forehead and touched his muzzle ever so gently.
“You are worthy, Midnight. But I don’t want to have this sort of a discussion with you again,” she told him. Strongly. Definitely. “Just trust me, okay? We can deal with everything together, simply... talk to me.”
The stallion inhaled shakily. Containing whatever flood of emotion was trying to choke him up and drown him.
“I... I will.”
She would very much hold him to that.