//------------------------------// // Chapter 18 // Story: Swapping Scales For Suave // by Jest //------------------------------// “So… This is the first place, eh?” Spike remarked. Together the pair looked up at the enormous, weirdly foreboding mansion built atop a large hill. The wall which surrounded it was tall, made mostly of stone and topped with black iron spikes that were fancy, but still quite effective. The gate itself was flanked by two enormous statues of deer with their hooves raised high into the air. The building beyond was also rather imposing, and a bit out of place given the close proximity to the ocean. Tall, made primarily from wood, with the primary colors being a mix of green and brown, it looked like it would be at home in a more wooded area. “It almost looks like a hunting lodge only, like really big and really fancy,” Spike exclaimed. “The Northwest family apparently lives here,” Rarity replied, flipping through a sheet of paper. “There aren't many notes in here, just that they want everything to be quote unqoute, exactly as it was last time.” “Huh. Well, nothing ventured, nothing gained,” Spike declared before pressing the button next to the gate. In the distance they heard the distant din of a very large bell that announced their arrival loud enough for half the town to hear. “Ominous,” Spike muttered. “Did you need something, sir and madam?” asked a male voice. “Bwah, where did you come from?” Spike exclaimed, stumbling back from the aged stallion who had appeared out of nowehre. “The gardens, sir,” answered the butler in a slightly exasperated tone. “Err yes,” Rarity declared. “We were hoping to discuss mister and missus Northwest’s reservation at the Belmond.” “I’ll fetch the lord and lady,” declared the stallion. He then turned and departed, trotting at a quick yet leisurely pace back towards the mansion. Leaving Rarity and Spike to look around the rather grand interior of the majestic home. “Expensive, yet rather gauche,” Rarity remarked. “Talk about flaunting their wealth.” “At least everything isn't gold plated,” Spike added. “True,” Rarity agreed. “Oh good, the help has arrived in order to confirm our reservation,” declared a tall, thin earth pony stallion with a prominent moustache. “Wonderful darling. I was so looking forward to our third wedding later this year,” added a unicorn mare whose nose seemed permanently raised upwards. The male had a brown mane which was parted to the left, and his white fur could barely be seen under a well pressed black suit. He also wore a white undershirt, a tie the shade of an evergreen’s quills and sharp onyx shoes on his hooves. The mare he was joined by had a similar fur color mostly rendered invisible due to the purple dress she had on. Her ears were adorned by diamond studs, and her face was caked in makeup intent on making her eyes more visible. “Strange. I’ve never seen you two working at the Belmond,” remarked the stallion. “We don't work there,” Spike explained. “Were actually here to talk you into giving up your reservation.” “You see we’ve been cursed,” Rarity continued. “He's in my body, and i'm in his but if we get married we’ll switch back, but we need a reservation.” “Your reservation,” Spike finished. For a moment there was silence, then both of the other ponies erupted with laughter so loud that Spike stumbled back a step. The stallion stomped his hoof and cackled, joining his partner who giggled like she had just been told the funniest joke ever uttered. They continued to guffaw until the point that both Rarity and Spike began to feel slightly ashamed, as well as a little annoyed. “Oh that is a good one,” exclaimed the stallion as he wiped a tear from his eye. “I don't think I’ve ever laughed that hard in my life.” “Not since that cart full of orphans fell off the pier,” added the mare. “Oh that was quite amusing,” replied her partner. “We are not joking,” declared Spike. “We need this to-” “What you need is a mane stylist dear,” offered the mare. “In fact, why don't you take this down to the corner of third and main. There is a wonderful little peasant boutique that could spruce up that mop of yours.” The other unicorn then tossed a pair of bits at Spike, who stood there indignantly and let them bounce off his chest. “We don't want your money. We just want your reservation,” Rarity reiterated. “Oh and the jokes don't stop!” shouted the stallion. “We aren't joking,” Spike stressed. “Tch, how disappointing,” muttered Mrs Northwest. “Yes, quite. I’m afraid we are all out of charity at the moment so if you wouldn't mind taking your poorness elsewhere that would be just great,” exclaimed Mr Northwest. “Now listen here,” Rarity began, gripping the fence tight in her claws. “We’re trying to be nice, and I don't know why you are being so rude.” “And I don't know why you are still here,” exclaimed the snooty unicorn. “Perhaps they should be escorted off the premises, hmm?” “Good idea. Barnaby! Release the hounds!” shouted the earth pony. “Come on Rarity, let's get out of here,” Spike whispered, tugging at his partner’s tail. “No. I am not leaving until I have that reservation,” Rarity declared. “Oh good. It's been so long since I’ve purchased the dogs a new chew toy,” remarked Mr Northwest in a disinterested tone. The distant sound of barking could be heard echoing over the hills and quickly coming closer. “Let's get out of here. There are more on the list,” Spike hissed. “No,” Rarity replied. “These people have been quite rude and I will not-” “Hold on a second,” Spike remarked. “One of my bandages came off.” The unicorn paused to use his magic and reapply the thick band of gauze and medical tape that bound his right foreleg. He then paused and looked over the rest of his bandages, as well as other coverings to ensure he hadn't bled through any of them. With that done, he looked up to find that Rarity was standing there with a bitter look on her face, one arm scratching at her covered chest. “Don't pick at it,” Spike hissed. “But it's so hard,” Rarity whined. “How did those mere dogs even bite through my scales anyway?” “Well you haven't exactly been keeping proper nutrition so your scales are probably a bit weak,” Spike pointed out. Rarity sighed. “I can't help it. Gems taste good but they aren't something I think about when I’m hungry.” “Just be glad they didn't get anything vital,” Spike muttered. “Now then. Who's next?” “A mister Corleone,” Rarity replied. “What a fascinating last name. Do you think he is from the old country?” “I don't care if he's from the moon. Lets just go ask him about his reservation so we can get this over with,” Spike muttered. “No need to rush darling,” Rarity warned. “His house is just up ahead.” Again the pair found themselves in front of another mansion, only this one overlooked a mighty vineyard. Though empty of workers at the moment, such an establishment would likely command an entire army of staff to properly man. An army which likely could have all stayed within the sprawling, white walled villa which lay at the end of the long driveway. “Nice place,” Spike remarked. “Real cultured. Unlike that last one.” “It is quite pleasant, but do you get the feeling you’re being watched?” Rarity whispered. Spike looked around and shrugged. “Not really, why?” “No reason I guess,” Rarity murmured. The pair trotted up to the entrance, but were stopped before they could reach the door, a tall stallion stepping in front of them. “What is your business here?” he asked, the mustachioed male peering intently at the pair. “I’ll handle this, darling,” Rarity offered. “My name is Rarity Belle, and this is my fiance Spike. We are here to discuss the reservation at the Belmond with a mister Corleone.” “Rarity, I don't think this is a good idea,” Spike whispered. “Hush darling. It will be fine,” Rarity whispered back. “Hmm, that sounds important. I’ll bring ya right to the boss,” declared the stallion. “Thank you very much,” Rarity exclaimed, glancing down at Spike in a slightly gloating manner, to which Spike merely rolled his eyes. Together they were led into the large home, their burly guide leading them further and further into the house. Revealing more wealth, and historical artifacts then most small museums could boast. “There sure are a lot of knives,” Spike muttered. “The boss likes his relics,” replied their guard. “Well he seems like quite the collector, and with such wonderful taste,” Rarity added. “Yeah if you like the macabre,” Spike whispered to himself as he passed by a rather gruesome painting of a pony eating someone else. “Wait here,” commanded the stallion in a firm tone. “Err okay,” Spike murmured. The pair stood patiently outside of a small circular room at the edge of the mansion. Through the glass door they could see what looked like a smoking room, one which prominently featured a large oak desk. Behind it sat an earth pony stallion with black fur, gold eyes, and a short mane of silvery hair. Together he and the other stallion spoke for several seconds before the first male appeared once more. “You may enter,” he exclaimed, pulling open the door and beckoning into the room. “Why thank you,” Rarity replied. “Err ya,” muttered Spike. Rarity and Spike strode inside, coming to a stop on the other side of the desk. Now standing before the other stallion, the dou were surprised to find that he was stroking a cat in a slow, loving manner. “I’m told you’re from the Belmond. Is there a problem with my reservation?” asked the mystery stallion in a calm, low tone. “It was my understanding that my message was received.” “Oh uh. I’m not sure about that but were actually here to ask a favor of you,” Rarity began. “You come here, talking about the day of my daughter’s wedding. Asking for a favor?” replied the stallion, an eyebrow raised. Spike gulped. “Well we don't want to inconvenience you so if you’re busy here then we can just-” “Nonsense,” Rarity interrupted, flashing the stallion a smile. “I’m sure if mister Corleone here is a reasonable stallion.” “I have been told as much on occasion,” murmured Mr Corleone absently. “Well you see, my fiance and I have been body swapped by a curse,” Rarity began, gesturing from herself to Spike and back again. “In order to break that curse we need to get married and I’ve always wanted to get married at the Belmond.” The earth pony raised a hoof suddenly, cutting off Rarity’s speech. “I’ve heard enough.” Rarity’s eyes lit up. “Oh, really? Well that's quite generous of you-” “You want someone removed from the list as it were,” he continued, tapping a hoof against the desk. “Yet you are a stranger, I don't know you.” “I’m Rarity Belle, and this is Spike,” Rarity replied. Spike waved awkwardly. “Hi.” “What I’m trying to say is that you’re not a part of the family,” Mr Corleone explained. “We may know one another’s names but that does make us kin and I only do favors like this for blood.” “Oh I totally understand,” Rarity replied. “We came here in hopes of convincing you to give up your reservation but if it is for your daughter’s wedding I simply couldn't get in the way of young love.” The earth pony nodded slowly. “You have made a wise decision this day, Miss Rarity. Now, I’d appreciate it if you saw yourself out.” “Of course, of course. Thank you for your time,” Rarity exclaimed, bowing slightly. With a nod, the stallion at the door opened it once more, and the pair were ushered through the house again. This time their trip ended at the entrance to the home, where their guide stood impassively with a neutral expression. Spike only gave him one last glance before pulling Rarity away at a quick, yet unhurried pace. “Great work back there Rarity,” Spike whispered. “I wasn't sure how we were going to get out of that one.” “What are you talking about? Mister Corleone was an absolute gentlecolt,” Rarity replied. “Hes a gangster Rarity,” Spike retorted. “You know, a real mafioso type.” “I mean sure he has a nice house, and has a bunch of burly stallions waiting around his property who all call him some kind of variation of boss- but…” Rarity trailed off for a moment. “I think I see what you mean.” “Let's just keep going,” offered Spike. “Yes, let's,” Rarity agreed. “Are you sure this is the place?” Spike asked. “It's already getting late and I don't want to wander around town any longer than I have to. My hooves are killing me.” The unicorn gazed down at the small, single storied structure sitting away from the rest of the town. Squat, and with a slanted roof, it wasn't quite run down, but neither did it seem like it was in good shape. An eaves trough drooped, a few shingles were beginning to come loose, and though clean there were clear repairs left to do. “Lady Gaval, and Fine Line, three hundred fifteenth street,” Rarity read aloud. “This is the place.” “Lead on then I guess,” Spike offered. Rarity nodded mutely and strode forward, making her way up to the door with a hand raised. After knocking twice, the dragon stepped away. They didn't have to wait long for an earth pony mare with a two toned orange mane reminiscent of a creamsicle answered the door. Standing slightly shorter than even Spike, she had bright purple eyes beneath which were deep bags. She also wore the simple, yet professional collar that some office workers or clerical staff usually sported. The earth pony was slightly on the thin side, though her bright green fur remained lustrous. “Good evening,” greeted the mare in a slightly masculine tone. “How can I help you?” “Good evening to you as well. My name is-” Rarity began. “My name’s Spike, this is Rarity, we got cursed and forced to swap bodies. To break the curse we need to get married, and we want to get married at the Belmond,” Spike interjected. “They are booked however. Would you be willing to part with your reservation?” “Spike, have some tact,” Rarity whispered. “I’ve heard you give that spiel a dozen times today. I don't have the patience to sit through it again,” Spike retorted. “Still,” Rarity replied. The other mare merely sighed, and stepped inside, extending a hoof. “I’d prefer to talk about this inside. Would you like some coffee, or perhaps tea?” “Some green tea would be lovely right about now. Thank you,” Rarity answered, bowing slightly as she entered the low room. “Coffee, black,” Spike added. “Sure, take a seat,” offered the earth pony, who gestured to an empty table in the center of a rather small, cramped dining room. Again, like the exterior of the home, everything was relatively well maintained and clean but in slight disrepair. It made both Rarity and Spike think that the ponies who lived there were poor, but not definitely not lazy. There were also a few pictures hung against one of the walls, ones which showed off two mares with forelegs hooked together. In addition there were two sets of family portraits, one with what looked like a noble family and the other a more rural group of mostly earth poneis. Spike seated himself at the table, while Rarity took one look at the chair and decided to seat herself on the floor next to it. Before either of them could open their mouths to inquire about their new hosts, a new pony appeared from a hallway. Wearing a very old, but well cared for and rather fancy green dress, the unicorn’s face immediately lit up the second they landed on Rarity and Spike. “We have guests. Why didn't you tell me we were entertaining?” exclaimed the newcomer in an excited tone. “They just arrived and were not expected,” answered the first mare. “Then go sit, talk. I’ll fetch the refreshments,” replied the second mare. “Green tea and black coffee,” offered their original host. “Good choice. I’ll see if I can't find a few of those crumpets from this morning in the fridge,” added the other unicorn. The first mare merely nodded and seated herself across from the new arrivals. “So,” she began. “You want our reservation.” “If you would be so kind. Though if it's too much trouble then don't worry about it,” Rarity quickly replied. “The truth of the matter is I can't afford the down payment so the reservation is yours. I just haven't had the heart to finally cancel it. I admit I’m a bit curious about your situation though,” inquired the mare. “Oh thank the stars,” Spike muttered, sinking into his chair with an exasperated sigh. “You have no idea what a relief it is to hear you say that.” “Well, it's as Spike said,” Rarity began. “We are cursed, and forced to swap bodies. I am usually a unicorn while my fiance is a dragon.” “But how exactly did that happen?” pressed the mare. “I bought some rings I shouldn't have,” Spike replied, reaching up to tap the band around the base of his horn. Rarity displayed the finger which bore its twin. “Though beautiful, Spike forgot to read the fine print as it were.” “I was just too happy I found something that beffitted her beauty,” Spike added. “And I do love them,” Rarity declared. “Huh. You know I dealt with a bunch of cases that involved curses of that magnitude in the past, but I never really sat down and talk to the afflicted before,” remarked the cream haired pony. “Oh, are you a lawyer?” Rarity inquired. “Judge,” replied the mare, turning to the side to reveal the gavel that was emblazoned upon her flank. “Just don't get the chance to work much since my fiance’s health began deteroriating.” “What happened?” Spike asked rather bluntly. “If you don't want to say that's okay,” Rarity hastily added, shooting Spike a quick glare. “No its-” the earth pony turned to the hall just as the other mare returned with a rather fancy silver platter loaded with goods. “I found a few biscuits and a bit of jam at the back of the cupboard. I hope you like strawberries,” she exclaimed. The other unicorn’s magic fluctuated just as she was about to set the platter down on the table. Thankfully her partner was swift to catch it, and deftly put it down before anything could spill. “Oh I’m terribly sorry about that my dear. It seems as though my horn is a bit on the fritz today,” muttered the unicorn rather guiltily. “It's no problem, my love. Now before we get any further I believe introductions are in order. This is my amazing fiance, Fine Line,” offered the cream colored mare. Fine Line bowed low, and did an exaggerated curtsy the kind Rarity had only ever seen old nobles do. “Tis a pleasure,” Fine Line offered. “And my name is Lady Gavel, as you are no doubt already aware of. Given that you knew of the reservation,” added Lady Gaval. “My name is Rarity Belle, and this is my fiance, Spike,” Rarity replied, gesturing from herself to Spike. “Howdy,” Spike greeted. “Rarity Belle! Like, the designer?” exclaimed Fine Line in shock. “Yes, that's me,” Rarity answered. “I got cursed and swapped bodies with my draconic partner.” “Oh I do hope you get swapped back, or that you keep making dresses,” Fine Line gushed, shakily pouring a cup of tea for Rarity and pushing it towards her. “I have been such a fan of your work.” “Fine Line keeps up with all the latest fashion and she’s always wanted to get something custom from you,” added Lady Gaval. “I just wish I had the extra funds to purchase one of your masterpieces. Oh well, I’m sure mother will send me my stipend any day. For now I’m just happy to spend my days with you, my dear,” Fine Line declared, nuzzling Lady Gaval’s cheek affectionately. “And I enjoy every second I spend with you, love,” Lady Gaval replied in a low tone. “Oh but where are my manners? I did not get you two plates!” Fine Line exclaimed in shock. “Why don't you get the fine china from our room,” Lady Gaval offered. “Good thinking. Fine company deserves fine china,” Fine Line replied with a giggle before trotting away. After the other mare left, Spike put down his cup of coffee and leaned across the table. “So what exactly does she have?” “Spike,” Rarity hissed. “I know you are tired but do be a bit less forward.” “Its fine,” Lady Gaval replied with a shrug. “And to answer your question, it's complicated. Fine Line came from a very old family of blue blooded ex royals who were none too happy when they found out we were dating.” “You don't mean they put her through conversion therapy?” Spike whispered. Lady Gaval nodded slowly. “What in Equestria is that?” Rarity asked. “They tried to make her straight,” Spike answered. “It wasn't technically illegal back then, only extremely frowned upon,” Lady Gaval remarked. “Thankfully that changed, but unfortunately it wasn't dealt with soon enough. Now she struggles to remember where she lives some days and believes she is still a princess.” “One of Twilight's classmates was put through the same thing. Not because he was gay but just because they thought he was,” Spike added. “Poor guy just really enjoyed theatre.” “The process wasn't a pleasant one, and though she never stopped loving me, the mind magic they used threw a wrench in things,” Lady Gaval explained. “That's horrible,” Rarity whispered. “It was,” Lady Gaval agreed. “Worse still is the fact that she can't remember any of it so she still thinks her family loves her and hasn't disowned her.” “Dear! Could you lend me a hoof please? I seem to be having some trouble,” shouted the voice of Fine Line. “Sorry, just a second,” remarked Lady Gaval before she stood up and walked away. Once alone, Spike released a sigh. “Well that's a sad story. At least we got our reservation though. Now we can return the ledger thingy before they close and get out of here without having to spend a second night. I’m sure there's a night train we can grab” “Yeah, that's great,” Rarity muttered, her gaze lingering on the hallway. “Don't worry. I’m sure once we get back to Ponyville we can do something nice for them. Maybe send them a dress or maybe I can talk to Twilight about any research into helping Fine Line,” Spike offered. “I have a few ideas myself,” Rarity added. “Sorry about that,” offered Fine Line as she was helped into the room by Lady Gaval. “My hooves get a little achey sometimes and it's hard to get around without a little help.” Lady Gaval gently placed the china down on the table using her mouth. “It's no trouble at all,” offered the judge. “Now then. I hate to be a nosy Nelly, but I simply must ask about your fall line,” Fine Line exclaimed, her hoof twitching as she grabbed a biscuit for herself. “Oh of course. Ask away,” Rarity encouraged. Spike gave his partner a sidelong glance, and shrugged, mentally readying himself for a long, and probably boring discussion he wouldn't likely have much of a part in. “Well you see it's about the length of the dresses,” Fine Line continued. “Now I know the more voluminous kinds were in style, but some of yours nearly went all the way to the ground. How is a mare supposed to walk around when-” “Thanks again for all your hospitality!” Rarity called, waving back at the two mares standing in the entrance to the home. “It was lovely,” Spike added. “No thank you. Your company was as unexpected as it was welcome,” Fine Line replied. “Feel free to stop by anytime you find yourself out this way,” offered Lady Gaval. “Now hurry along, you two. It's getting late!” Fine Line shouted. “We will, good night,” Rarity yelled back. Spike and Rarity exchanged one last series of waves with the two mares before walking away. In front of them, on the horizon, rested the setting sun, its pale rays covering the world in a dull orange glow. Beyond that there was a long dirt road before them, one which at the end, lay their hotel and most likely, Twilight and Trixie. “Well that worked out well. If a bit sad,” Spike remarked. “I sure hope there is something we can do for them.” “I have something in mind,” Rarity replied. “Oh, what's that? A dress, maybe a new wardrobe? Donations?” Spike inquired. “No. I…” Rarity hesitated a moment before taking a deep breath. “I want to pay for their wedding, and to make their wedding dresses. I’m sure a talk with Twilight will help their financial and medical situation.” Spike nodded slowly. “I half expected you to say something like that. Fine Line would certainly appreciate living out her dream of being treated like a princess.” “They are both so kind, and loving,” Rarity whispered. “If anyone deserves a big fancy wedding it's those two.” “You’re saying we don't deserve something like that?” Spike replied, smirking up at his partner. Who chuckled. “We deserve something that we would both be happy with. Like a ceremony on Applejack’s farm, with all of our friends.” “Settling again eh?” Spike teased. “Settling would be if I chose Blueblood or one of his ilk,” Rarity retorted. “I’ve already got my knight in shining armor and my happily ever after.” “Well you don't have that last thing,” Spike pointed out. “Not yet anyway,” Rarity replied. Spike nodded. “So what's the plan then?” “We return the folder, apologize to the coordinator, pay for their wedding and then go find Twilight before she starts worrying,” Rarity answered. “Before she worries anymore you mean,” Spike retorted. Rarity giggled. “True.” “And then what? We go home and send them a letter informing them of what we did?” Spike pressed. “Yes,” Rarity stated. “I don't want to make this about us, so something impersonal like a letter will allow them to have this moment all to themselves.” “You really are the most generous pony around,” Spike remarked. “No,” Rarity replied with a smile. “I try to be though.”