Last time on My Little Pony: Friendship is Overrated:
We read some back story, established the main characters, and set up the plot for this half of the story. So now we’re all on the same page (pun intended).
My Little Pony: Friendship is Overrated
“Arrest her!” the mayor yelled.
“Magic Ninja Disappearing Act!” Dominatrix Moon screamed. She vanished in a puff of smoke, and the police officers fell clumsily in a heap where she had previously stood.
Bored of the festivities and still blissfully ignorant of the situation’s seriousness, Twilight Novel slipped away back to the library to find another copy of that romance novel she had mentioned to Dominatrix Moon. After several minutes of fruitless searching, she started looking for books instead of fruit, and she noticed several books missing from the nonfiction section. She tried looking for the book some more, but her curiosity got the better of her. She grabbed her lizard and wandered out to find what had happened to the missing books. She found her answer at the edge of town, where all the ponies she had met earlier were gathered. In front of them was an ominous entrance to a spooky forest.
“What are you losers doing here?” she asked.
“We’re going to find the Elements of Comedy so we can beat Dominatrix Moon,” Pukie Pie replied.
“They’re in the abandoned royal second home deep in the Forest of Doom,” Apple Peel added.
“You know, they say no one who enters the Forest of Doom ever comes out,” Brainbow Bash mentioned.
“Then what about those guys?” Apple Peel asked.
A short distance away, a small crowd of ponies strode out of the forest. The lead pony turned to the rest and said, “…and that concludes our tour of the Forest of Doom. If you have any questions, we have plenty of books and brochures in the gift shop. Don’t forget to drop by there on your way out!”
“All right, let’s go into the Forest of Doom. It’s not like I have anything better to do,” Twilight Novel sighed.
They began their journey into the forest. As they walked, they began to bicker about who the hunkiest stallion in Pokeyville was. Suddenly, the cliff edge they were standing on gave way, and they all began to fall. Pukie Pie and Rhapsidy were caught safely by Brainbow Bash and F**kershy. Apple Peel, however, managed to stay on the unbroken part of the ledge and managed to catch Twilight before she plummeted over the edge.
“Don’t let go!” Twilight screamed.
“I won’t! You can trust me!” Apple Peel replied. She strained to pull the unicorn to safety, until a thought occurred to her. “Hey, how are we holding on to each other without any fingers?” she asked.
With the suspension of disbelief shattered by logic, Twilight Novel began to fall. She started to scream, “F**K YOU, APPLE PEEEEeeeee…!”
(SPLAT!)
To her surprise, Twilight Novel landed safely on a huge pile of patties. “Thanks, Pukie,” she gasped as she climbed down. Moments later, Apple Peel landed on the pile as well. “Did you just dive off the cliff after me?” Twilight asked the orange pony.
“Yep!” she proclaimed proudly.
“You’re an idiot,” F**kershy said, and the others grumbled in agreement.
The group continued their journey into the Forest of Doom. They began to grow sleepy as Brainbow Bash started quoting trivia facts about the forest in an ironic attempt to stave off boredom. A loud roar jolted them awake, and they found themselves face-to-face with a monstrous creature.
“A manticore!” Twilight screamed.
The group readied themselves for battle, but F**kershy held up her hoof and calmly said, “Relax, guys. I got this.”
What the ponies saw next can never be unseen.
After the ponies had safely formed mental blocks around their memories of the manticore incident, they wandered even deeper in the forest. Suddenly, the moon disappeared behind some clouds, adding to the scariness of the area. Suddenly, they noticed every tree had the word “boo” spray-painted on it in glow-in-the-dark paint. The ponies had never been so terrified in their entire lives.
Fortunately, Pukie Pie started throwing patties at the trees, safely covering each piece of graffiti with a round piece of fake meat. “That’s better!” she said. “You know, this reminds me of a song my grandparents used to sing.”
“Hold it!” Rhapsidy yelled. The music immediately stopped with the sound of a needle scratching a record. “What does this have to do with anything?”
“Nothing. I just really like this song,” Pukie Pie replied.
After enduring over half an hour of Pukie Pie singing the same song over and over, the ponies arrived at the Bank of a River. There, they each withdrew $50 from their savings and used it to bribe Pukie into shutting up. After a few more minutes of walking, they came across an actual riverbank. They stood there for a few moments, trying to figure out what to do.
“Look, a bridge!” Twilight called out.
The ponies ran to the bridge and stopped. A group of fraternity stallions lay along the sides of the bridge, passed out from too much drinking. What little walking room remained was covered in their puke.
“Disgusting,” Brainbow Bash commented.
“Yeah, and it’s kinda gross, too,” Apple Peel added.
“Not to worry, girls. I’ve got it covered,” Rhapsidy said, producing a mop and bucket of water. Within moments, the bridge was sparkling clean, and the frat stallions were halfway to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.
As they crossed, Twilight asked, “So, you just carry cleaning supplies with you wherever you go?”
“Of course! Who knows when you’re going to need them?” she replied.
“Uh… how?” Brainbow asked. “You’re naked. Where in the Fiery Death Corral do you keep them?!”
“In Twilight’s lizard,” Rhapsidy replied. Mike belched, as if in confirmation. Of course, everyone except Twilight Novel knew the timing was just a coincidence.
“Look, there it is! The royal summer cottage,” Twilight called as they approached the edge of a cliff. “Now we just need to cross the-” She stopped upon seeing the sign reading “Bride Out”. She growled in irritation as she turned to another sign. This sign was covered by a pony skeleton wearing a wedding dress. She pushed it aside to reveal the second sign’s text, “Bridge Out”.
“Now what are we gonna do?” Pukie Pie asked.
“I’ll go inspect the damage,” Brainbow Bash said. A fog rolled in as she trotted across the bridge. When she got about halfway across, she found that the rest of the bridge had disappeared. Suddenly, a trio of black pegasi appeared in front of her.
“Are you Brainbow Bash?” the middle one asked.
“Indeed, I am,” she replied.
“We’re from the mayor’s office,” the stranger announced. “She was so impressed by your legal skills, she’s appointed you to be a judge!”
“It’s my dream come true!” Brainbow squealed.
“Let’s go meet her,” the pegasus urged.
Brainbow Bash, however, immediately became suspicious. “Hold on,” she said. “Where’s all the paperwork? I’m supposed to see a signed document from the mayor declaring the appointment, an approval notice from the city council or citizen’s petition, and several triplicate forms for me to sign to make the appointment official.”
“Um… they’re back at the office,” another pegasus explained with apprehension.
“We just thought you’d like to go through the installation ceremony first,” a third one nervously added.
“Oh, that’s just a formality. If you were telling the truth, you’d have those forms with you,” Brainbow Bash scolded. “I should have you three arrested. Fortunately for you, I’m rather busy at the moment, so I suggest you be on your way.” As she pulled out her cell phone, the three pegasi wasted no time in fleeing the scene.
Brainbow placed a few calls to some friends in high places, and a team of army engineers arrived at the scene a few minutes later. They used their bridging equipment to erect a temporary structure over missing bridge section. After thanking the soldiers, the ponies resumed their journey.
“I don’t think this is legal,” Brainbow Bash complained as they entered the house.
“Don’t worry, I swiped a search warrant from the sheriff on my way to Pokeyville,” Twilight assured her.
“Look! Those must be the elements,” Apple Peel exclaimed. In front of her was a display labeled “Elements of Comedy”.
“I thought the book said there were six elements. I only see five,” Pukie Pie pointed out.
“Fine, I’ll check the book,” Twilight Novel groaned. She began to read, “When the five elements are together, a spark will cause the sixth to appear.”
“Well, go on then. Make some magic sparks,” Apple Peel urged.
“Do I have to?” Twilight moaned.
“YES!” everyone yelled.
Grumbling, Twilight turned to the elements, and her horn started to glow. “Come on, come on. Just appear already!” she said under her breath. The elements vibrated a little, but nothing really happened. “I don’t think it’s working,” she said. Mike, however, simply grabbed the elements with his tongue and ate them.
The six ponies gasped. “No! Bad dragon!” Twilight Novel scolded. The room was suddenly filled with evil laughter and dark smoke. Suddenly, the smoke vanished and Dominatrix Moon stood before them.
“Did you really think you were funny enough for the Elements of Comedy? You thought you’d just zap me with some magic and the episode would suddenly come to a happy ending?” she sneered. “Well, now all my subjects will feel what a real ‘happy ending’ is like!”
Suddenly, Mike started to gag. He threw up, and out came five pieces of jewelry, each of which flew over to a different pony. Twilight Novel gasped as she realized what they were. “You think the elements can be destroyed just like that? Well you’re wrong!
“Apple Peel, with her burnt pies and inconveniently-timed moment of wisdom, represents The Incompetent Fool!
“F**kershy, who did something so disgusting I’ll never remember it as long as I live, represents the spirit of Crude Humor!
“Pukie Pie, with her strange food obsession and questionable music tastes, represents the spirit of Randomness!
“Rhapsidy, who was unusually prepared for the mess on the bridge, represents Prop Humor!
“And Brainbow Bash, with her intelligence and level-headed no-nonsense attitude, represents The Straight Mare!”
“But you still don’t have the sixth element! The spark didn’t work!” Dominatrix Moon protested.
Twilight Novel countered, “But it did. You see, the elements require a different kind of spark… one that apparently has something to do with reptilian digestive fluids. I’m talking about the element of… Parody!”
As if on cue, Mike puked up one more piece of jewelry. The six ponies put on their Elements and started to glow. A voice could be heard yelling “IMMA FIRIN’ MAH LAZOR!!!” and the elements released a huge beam of light, striking Dominatrix Moon and tearing away her evil persona.
“Everyone all right?” Brainbow asked even as she herself could barely stand.
Everyone confirmed that they were unharmed, then began to notice that the gems on the jewelry bore a strong resemblance to their butt tattoos, with the exception of F**kershy and Twilight. The yellow pegasus’s gem, like her butt tattoo, was covered by a piece of black tape, while the unicorn’s didn’t have a jewel.
“I guess we really do represent the Elements of Comedy,” Apple Peel noted.
“About time you figured it out,” a new voice commented.
“Princess Trollestia!” the ponies gasped.
“You actually did it,” the monarch said to her pupil. “I just told you to go out and get some fresh air, and here you are saving the country. A much more productive use of your time than usual… Who are you and what have you done with Twilight Novel?”
Before Twilight could answer, the princess turned to where Dominatrix Moon had previously stood. In her place sat a smaller pony. Her appearance wasn’t that much different from her previous form, though her colors were lighter.
“Princess Molestia!” Trollestia addressed her. “It’s been a thousand years since I saw you like this. Let’s let bygones be bygones. Would you like to return to your throne, little sister?”
“Wait, she’s your sister?” Twilight asked.
“Of course she is!” Apple Peel replied.
“Didn’t you pick up on that?” F**kershy asked.
“The author got that the first time he saw the episode,” Brainbow Bash added. “In fact, it didn’t even occur to him that your canon counterpart hadn’t made that connection until he started writing this parody. He was quite confused by your surprise.”
“Author? Episode? Canon? What are you all talking about?!” Pukie Pie asked.
Returning to the princesses, Molestia wasn’t sure she wanted to return to the throne after everything that had happened. “I’m not sure I want to return to the throne after everything that has happened,” she told her sister.
Trollestia leaned in close and whispered in her ear, “Ponies’ standards are a lot lower these days.”
“I’m so sorry! I missed you big sister!” she cried, with a little more drama than was necessary.
“Hey, you know what this calls for?!” Pukie exclaimed.
“No patties!” everyone interjected.
“Aww…”
Back in Pokeyville, a celebration was being held to welcome the ponies’ new co-ruler. These ponies, in turn, noticed strange feelings on their backsides, as if their new leader was using her magic to cop a feel.
“Is something wrong, Twilight?” Trollestia asked her student.
“Nope, I’m ready to get out of this rat hole and back to my room in Cantaloupe!”
“Rat hole you say? Well in that case, I’m ordering you to stay here and study the magic of comedy. At the end of every episode, you have to write a moral that the episode teaches,” the princess decreed.
“NOOOOOOO!!!”