//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: Level 0, but Today is a Gift // Story: Multiverse Hearts Volume 1: EG/EB World: Kung Fu Girls // by RainbowRaptorDash1 //------------------------------// "Whaddya mean ya saw Tai Lung?!" Applejack frantically asked Sunset as she shook her rapidly. "That guy's really bad news! How did you see him?!" Rainbow Dash added. "He's locked up at Chorh-Gom Prison!" Raptor told Sunset. "Something must've made your spirit go to that prison to see Tai Lung in person." Swampsuke said, catching their attention. "Whoa! That's reaaaaally strange when you think about it." Pinkie told her friends. "Well, let's hope that's the only time that happens." Soulfire said. "Yeah, no kidding." Makoto agreed. "You're okay, right?" Fluttershy asked her friend. "Yeah, I'm fine now." Sunset assured the others. "Come on then, darling. We need to get back to training." Rarity said as everyone else agreed and went back to training at where the Furious Five are. Back at the Jade Palace, the crowd continued to cheer for the Dragon Warrior as the palace pigs brought Po to the top of the palace stairs and inside the main building, then dropped him to the ground and quickly exit. "Wait a second!" Po urged when the doors closed, leaving him alone in the room. "Hello? Uh... I think there's been a slight mistake. Everybody seems to think that I'm, uh..." Po started to explain, but stopped as he realized where he was, making him moan in pure excitement. "The Sacred Hall of Warriors! No way! Look at this place!" Po then spotted a rhino-suit of armor. "Master Flying Rhino's armor. With authentic battle damage!" He turned around and saw another famous artifact — the green sword previously seen in Po's dream, running up to it. "Whoa... The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking— OW!" Po yelped as he shook his finger and sucked it. He then ran up to an apparently empty display. "The Invisible Trident of Destiny!" He then looked up at a painting and gasped. "I've only seen paintings of that painting..." Po then joyfully examined other kung fu artifacts... and then spots an urn which appears to be glowing from the inside, making him gasp. "Nooo! Ohhhh!" He awed loudly as he ran up to it. "The Legendary Urn of Whispering Warriors... said to contain the souls of the entire Tenshu Army!" He said as he hesitated before coming close to the urn and whispering into it. "Hello?" "Have you finished sight-seeing?" A male voice asked Po, making him gasp. "Sorry! I should have come to see you first!" Po apologized. "We're getting impatient." A female voice said to Po, sounding irritated. "Oh. Well, I mean, it's not like you were going anywhere." Po responded to the voices "in the urn." "Do turn around." The male voice told Po. "Sure." Po said as he turned to see Masters Shifu and Luna. "Hey, how's it going?" Po greeted them as he turned back to the urn. "Now how do you get five hund— Master Shifu and Master Luna!" Po realized, becoming startled as he accidentally knocked over the urn, and there was a ghostly wail as it shattered on the ground. Po looked up at Shifu and Luna, mortified. "Someone... broke that." Shifu and Luna just stared at the panda beastman in silence, as Po begins to attempt picking up the pieces. "But I'm going to fix it. Do you have some glue?..." Po asked as he accidentally knocked the urn's display table, making it topple on his head, with Shifu and Luna still staring at him. "Ow! Ooh. Splinter." "You really think you're the legendary dragon warrior?" Luna questioned Po. "Uh... I guess so?" Po nervously guessed. "Wrong!" Shifu answered harshly, causing Po to stand up alarmed. "You are not the Dragon Warrior. You will never be the Dragon Warrior until you have learned the secret of the Dragon Scroll." Shifu told the panda as he pointed up at the ceiling at the scroll with his staff. "Whoa... So how does this work? You have a ladder or trampoline or..." Po began to ask, but stopped as he heard Shifu chuckle coldly and Luna darkly giggle. "You really think it's gonna be easy for you? That you'll just be given the secret to unlimited power?" Luna questioned Po. "No, I-" Po tried to explain, but was cut off by Shifu approaching him. "One must first master the highest level of kung fu. And that is clearly impossible if that one is someone like you." Shifu told the panda beastman. "Someone like me?" Po asked. "Yes. Look at you! This fat butt. Flabby arms!" Shifu started listing as he struck those aforementioned parts with his staff, making Po cry out in pain. "Ouch! Those are sensitive in the flabby parts." Po whimpered, rubbing his arm. "And this ridiculous belly!" Shifu continued as he jabbed Po's belly with his staff. "Hey..." Po said softly, starting to not like that tone. "And utter disregard for personal hygiene." Shifu finished. "Now wait a minute. That's a little uncalled for—" Po complained but Shifu interrupted him. "Don't stand so close, I can smell your breath." "Listen, Oogway said that I was the—" Po started talking with his finger pointing at Shifu as the red panda beastman suddenly grabbed Po's outstretched finger and lifted his pinky, making Po gasp in horror. "The Wuxi Finger Hold! Not the Wuxi Finger Hold!" "Ohhh, you know this hold?" Shifu asked slyly. "Developed by Master Wuxi in the third dynasty. Yes!" Po answered quickly with a nod of his head. "Oh, then you must know what happens when I flex my pinky..." Shifu assumed as he wiggled his pinky finger, making the panda beastman gasp in fright. "No no no!" Po pleaded. "You know the hardest part of this? The hardest part... is cleaning up afterwards." Shifu said with a chuckle. "Okay! Okay, take it easy!" Po begged as Luna walked toward him and Shifu. "Now listen closely, panda. Oogway may have picked you, but when I'm through with you, I promise you: You're going to wish he hadn't! Are we clear?" Shifu asked Po. "Yeah. We're clear! We're clear! We are so clear." Po fearfully agreed. "Good." Luna said with a dark giggle. "I can't wait to get started." "Me neither." Shifu agreed with a chuckle. While the three of them were on their way to the training hall, Sunset and her friends caught up with them. "Master Shifu, I need to talk to you and the other masters about something." Sunset said, trying to tell Shifu and Luna about what happened earlier. "Now's not the time, Sunset. The training for the panda must begin." Shifu told the Canterlot High student. "But-" Sunset tried to explain. "You can tell us about it another time." Luna answered Sunset, as Po introduced himself to the Canterlot High students. Then everyone got to the training hall, where the Canterlot High students and Po were struck speechless as they saw the Furious Five combating the various deadly stages of the course; Crane was deflecting arrows while balancing on half of a jade-colored turtle shell. Then Tigress leapt onto the shell and briefly sparred with him. Meanwhile, Mantis weaved his way through an army of wooden crocodile warriors. Viper evaded fire spurts on the Field of Fiery Death. Monkey swung across the Seven-Talon Rings. Tigress dodged the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion on spinning serpent logs, then smashed one with her bare fists, causing a piece of the club to hit Po on the head. "Let's begin." Shifu declared as Luna agreed, much to the CH students and Po's confusion, but Swampsuke understood what was going on. "Wait wait wait! What?" Po asked, confused as he and the students saw the fearsome course in front of them. "Now?" "Yes, now. Unless you think that the great Oogway was wrong, and you are not the Dragon Warrior?..." Shifu said, using reverse psychology. "Hoo-wee! That looks like it'll be some serious workout." AJ said as she saw the clubs and logs. "Now THIS will be tough training!" RD said as Raptor agreed with a nod, both of them looking at the army of wooden crocodile warriors. "That looks so... scary." Fluttershy said, becoming scared by seeing the flame pillars erupting from the Field of Fiery Death. "Oh dear... Balance can be the most difficult task to maintain. And balance is certainly tricky with surfaces constantly shifting." Rarity said, knowing what the jade-colored turtle shell was for. "Those rings there look sharp and high... It's like jungle vines!" Pinkie said happily as she eyed the seven-talon rings. "So this is were the real training begins?" Sunset asked. "Yes, Sunset Shimmer." Luna answered. "Oh, okay. Well... I don't know if I can do all of those moves..." Po said, being unsure of himself. "Well, if we don't try, we'll never know, will we?" Shifu rhetorically asked as he began walking along the side of the course, making Po and the others follow him. "Uh, yeah. It's just— maybe we can find something more suited to my level..." Po suggested. "Tch..." Swampsuke scoffed. "And what level is that?" Shifu asked the panda beastman. "Well, ya know... I'm not a master, but uh, let's just start at zero. Level Zero." Po answered, making Shifu and Luna laugh. "You're serious?" Luna asked as she wiped a tear. "I don't think that's how it works, big guy." Makoto said to Po. "Yeah, the beginning is called, Level One." Soulfire agreed. "They are right. There is no such thing as Level Zero." Shifu told Po. "Well, here Ah go." Applejack said as she went onto the spinning serpent logs, beginning to dodge the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion. "Let's go, Rainbow!" Raptor declared as he entered the warrior-filled gauntlet. "Yeah, this'll be easy!" Rainbow Dash agreed as she followed him, the two of them starting to attack and counterattack the Gauntlet of Wooden Warriors. "Balance will be essential for this training." Rarity reminded herself as she went onto the Jade Tortoise of Wisdom, adjusting to the ever-changing balance. "Alright, let's-a-go!" Pinkie cheered as she jumped onto the Seven-Talon Rings, swinging from ring-to-ring and going through the holes. "Ooh... Just avoid the fire... Just avoid the fire..." Fluttershy said, trying to calm herself as she went onto the Field of Fiery Death, suddenly facing an erupting fire pillar, frightening her. "EEP!!!" She yelped as she began dodging those fire geysers swiftly and smoothly, yet fearfully. "Hmm, they're now training as if it was natural." Luna noted. "Hmph, guess their basic training payed off." Swampsuke simply said. "Oh boy..." Po dreaded as he saw the six students doing great at their training, when he noticed something. "Hey! Maybe I can start with that!" He said as he ran over to a friendly-looking bandit dummy. "That? We use that for training children. And for propping the door open when it's hot. But if you insist..." Shifu said, allowing Po to start with the dummy, when at that moment, the Five gathered around Po. "Whoa. The Furious Five. You're so much bigger than your action figures — except for you, Mantis. You're about the same." Po said as he saw Mantis's antennae twitch as he glared at him, making Po feel uncomfortable. "Go ahead, panda. Show us what you can do." Shifu said to the panda beastman, who hesitated, seeing the Furious Five watching him. "Um, are they going to watch. Or should I just wait until they get back to work or something?..." Po asked nervously. "Hit it." Swampsuke simply told Po. "Okay. I mean I just ate, so I'm still digesting. So my kung fu might not be as good as later on..." Po said, stalling. "Just hit it!" Luna requested Po. "Alright..." Po agreed after a pause as he turned to the dummy. "Whatcha got? You got nothin' 'cause I got it right here. You picking on my friends?" Po asked the dummy as he began dancing on the spot. "Get ready to feel the thunder. I'm comin' at him with the crazy feet. Whatcha gonna do about my crazy feet? I'm a blur. I'm a blur. You never seen bear style, you only seen praying Mantis! OR... I could come at you Monkey style. Ooh-ooh aah-aah!" Po grunted, making monkey sounds, which made Monkey raise his eyebrows in slight offense. "OR... I'm comin' at ya snikity-snake..." Po continued, making Sunset, Soulfire, Makoto, Swampsuke, Shifu, Luna and the Furious Five stare at him, as Po faced the dummy. This silliness made Shifu, Luna and Swampsuke lose their patience. "Would you hit it!?" The three of them asked, irritated, making Po stop dancing. "Alright... Alright." Po answered as he hesitantly hit the dummy very lightly with his fist. The dummy only rocked back into place. "Why don't you try again? A little harder." Shifu suggested as Po knocked the dummy all the way backwards this time. But Sunset noticed the dummy coming back. "Po! Watch-" "How's tha—" WHACK! "Ow!" Po yelped as the Adversary righted itself and whacked him, sending Po flying backwards and knocked out a tooth. "...out..." Sunset finished too late as Po found himself in the training course with some of the others. The Five instinctively stepped forward to help him, but Shifu held up his paw to stop them. Sunset tried to go out their along with Soulfire and Makoto, but Luna stopped them as well. "It will be alright, even if they get hurt, they'll be fine and heal." Luna told the three of them, who hoped she was right. "Po?! What're y'all doin' here?!" AJ asked Po, surprised that he got onto the serpent logs all of a sudden. Po struggled to balance on the serpent logs, and eventually ended up doing a painful split on two of them. "Hey, ya alrigh'?" The apple farmer asked the panda beastman in concern. "Ow! Oh, that hurts!" Po groaned, before he and Applejack looked up to a spiked club. "Whoa-!" Applejack started to gasp as the club hit the two of them, sending them flying right into Pinkie, who was swinging on the rings. *Cue Low-Voice Slow Motion* "-Nelly!" AJ said, finishing her gasp. "Oofta!" Pinkie groaned, as they flew into the jade turtle exercise, making it rattle them around and Rarity starting to lose her balance. "Girls! How did?! What are you-?! Wha!!!" Rarity screamed as she lost her balance started rattling around the jade turtle exercise with Po, AJ and Pinkie. Seeing this made Sunset, Soulfire, Makoto, Luna and the Five wince while Shifu looked on with a smile. "This'll be easier than I thought." Shifu said to the Furious Five and Luna. "What?" Sunset wondered what Shifu meant by that. "Whoo! So dizzy!" Pinkie cheered. "Not doin' too good." Applejack groaned. "I didn't expect this to happen..." Rarity moaned with a gag, and her facing looking a bit green. "Feeling a little nauseous..." Po said as the turtle spilled them out, followed by he, AJ, Pinkie and Rarity tumbling into the wooden warrior army. "What the?! What're you guys doing here?!" Rainbow asked the four as the wooden warriors started to spin faster. "Whoa! They're getting faster!" Raptor warned the girls and Po as the wooden warrior gauntlet proceeded to whack every part of their bodies. "Watch it!" RD yelled before getting whacked on the thighs. "Gah!" Raptor cried in pain from getting whacked on his left leg. "Yow!" AJ groaned, feeling pain from those whacks on her arms. "Owie-zowie!" Pinkie moaned as she got whacked in the head. "No! My hair!" Rarity whined from her hair getting hit before getting whacked on her chest. "Ow, those are hard! Ooh! I think I—" The last wooden dummy then whacked Po right below the belt, making him keel over in agony as all of the wooden warriors stopped with everything becoming still. "Oooohoohoo... my tenders." Po squeaked. Seeing what just happened to Po made everyone in the building flinch and wince, even Swampsuke and Shifu. "Hey, big guy. You alright?" Raptor asked Po. "You'll wanna take it easy for now, Po." Rainbow Dash suggested as Po let out a short groan. Po struggled to get on his feet, takes one step and reaches out to a dummy arm, making AJ, Pinkie, Rarity, RD and Raptor's eyes to widen in panic. "Wait, don't-!" They tried to warn Po, but everyone in the gauntlet immediately started getting pummeled all over again. They then come out of the other side, battered and bruised, as Fluttershy ran towards them. "Are you guys okay?" Fluttershy asked them in concern, but then they heard a high-pitched sound getting louder. "No! Not now!" Fluttershy panicked, catching Po, Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Raptor's attention, who looked down, finding themselves standing on the Field of Fiery Death. "Uh oh." The seven of them dreaded as Sunset, Swampsuke, Soulfire, Makoto, Luna, Shifu and the Furious Five saw them getting singed. The unfortunate trainees yelled out in pain as a red light brightened and faded twice. "Ouch." Sunset, Soulfire and Makoto uttered. Po crawled back to the sidelines, followed by the six Canterlot High students slowly walking back, all dazed and charred, with a little tuft on his head on fire. "Okay... That wasn't fun." Pinkie sadly said with her hair slightly less poofy. "From now on, applebucking's a cake walk." Applejack said as she put out an ember on her stetson hat. "Ugh... It will take hours to restore my hair. And I will definitely need a shower." Rarity noted as she looked at herself. "I'll admit... THAT hurt." Rainbow Dash said honestly. "Yeah, I think we had enough training for one day." Raptor agreed, as Fluttershy only let out a terrified whimper. "How did I do?" Po asked, gasping for breath. "There is now a Level Zero." Shifu answered as he extinguished the little fire with his fingers, followed by Po allowing his face to rest on the floor. Later, at night, the Five were walking to the bunkhouse, which sat high on a hill, led by a palace goose with a lantern. "There's no words." Mantis said. "No denying that." Crane agreed. "I don't understand what Master Oogway was thinking. The poor guy's just going to get himself killed!" Viper said, concerned for both Po and Oogway's decision. "He is so mighty! The Dragon Warrior... fell out of the sky on a ball of fire!" Crane mocked as he flapped his wings on that last part. "When he walks, the very ground shakes!" Mantis added, making his friends laugh, except Tigress. "One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu." Tigress said as she started walking ahead. "Yeah, or could at least touch his toes." Crane added. "Or even see his toes." Monkey finished as he took a step forward with his fists, taking a glance at his feet. As the others walk off, laughing, Po and the Canterlot High students emerged from behind rocks, who unbeknownst to the Five, has been walking behind them this whole time heard everything. Sunset, Rainbow Dash, Raptor, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie weren't glad about how the kung fu warriors felt about Po. The panda beastman attempted to look at his toes, only to see his gut. He lifted up his stomach, leaning forward, but fell over, as he got up and watched the Five go inside, letting out a sigh. Later, after the candles in each of the Five's rooms were blown out, Po and the Canterlot High students peeked around a corner. "Try to get past them stealthily." Swampsuke coldly whispered to Po. "Okay." Po answered, as he tip-toed into the hall, *SQUEAK.* making the floorboards strain beneath him. *SQUEAK.* "Gah..." Swampsuke quietly groaned with a facepalm. "Great." Po whispered sarcastically, as he took a gentle step. *Cre-e-e-a-a—CHUNK!* Po's foot goes through the floor. "Oh!" Po softly gasped as he tried to recover. *SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK! THUNK!* Po rolled his ankle, making him stumble through a bedroom door. "Oh no! Po!" Rarity whispered in a panicked tone as she went through the same door Po stumbled through. "Are you alright, darling?" "Yeah, I'm fine." Po answered as both of them turned to find Crane staring back at them. "Oh hey... hi. You're up." "Am now." Crane said. "I'm terribly sorry about that. We didn't want to wake anyone up." Rarity apologized. "It's no problem, not surprised the big guy stumbled in here because of those old floors." Crane explained. "I was just, uh... Some day, huh? That kung fu stuff is hard work, right? Your biceps sore?" Po asked the crane beastman, the awkwardness making Rarity facepalm herself, as Crane looked at his wing. "Um... I've had a long and rather disappointing day, so uh...yeah, I should probably get to sleep now." Crane answered. "Yeah yeah yeah, of course." Po said as he turned to leave. "Okay, thanks." Crane responded in relief. "It's just... I'm such a big fan." Po told Crane as he turned back, alarming the winged beastman. "Oop." Crane slipped out. "Um, Po?" Rarity spoke, trying to get the panda beastman's attention. "You guys were totally amazing at the Battle of Weeping River. Outnumbered a thousand to one, but you didn't stop, and then you just... WA-YA-HA-HA HI-YAH!" Po fanboyed as he did a spastic series of kung fu moves and *RIP!* kicked his foot through the paper wall. "Oh dear." Rarity gasped. "Ooh, sorry about that." Po apologized as he looked through the hole to see Monkey glaring at him. "It was an accident." Pinkie explained to Monkey in his room, as she went back out. "Look, you don't belong here." Crane told Po, making Po look stung, hearing this from one of his heroes, and Rarity gasp with her hands on her mouth as well as making the other Canterlot High students, except Swampsuke, feel shocked as well. "I know. I know. You're right. I just— my whole life, I've dreamed of—" Po tried to explain, but Crane stopped him before he embarrassed himself even more. "No no no... I meant you don't belong here. I mean, in this room. This is my room. Property of Crane." The bird beastman clarified, while Po was still mortified, but covered. "Oh, okay. Right right. Yeah, you want to get to sleep." Po said as he began backing out of the room. "Good idea, darling." Rarity agreed as she started to leave too. "Yeah." Crane said in agreement as well. "I'm keepin' you up. We got big things tomorrow." Po said as began to close the door after Rarity left the room. "Alright. You're awesome. Last thing I'm gonna say. Okay. Bye bye." Po finished as he shut the door, his silhouette being seen standing outside, not moving. "Whoa." Crane sighed, causing Po to open the door and poke his head in with an eager smile. "What was that?" Po asked. "I didn't say anything." Crane answered. "Okay. Alright. Goodnight. Sleep well." Po said as he backed out of the room again and closed the door, with Crane putting a foot on his head in embarrassment. "Seemed a little bit awkward..." Po said to himself and his friends. "You think?" Rainbow Dash, Raptor, Soulfire and Makoto asked him sarcastically, as Po began to walk down the hall to find a vacant room. *CREAK-CREAK...* Then Tigress opened the door next to Po, startling him. "Master Tigress! Didn't mean to wake you. I was just, uh—" Po tried to explain. "You don't belong here." Tigress told the panda beastman. "Uh, yeah, of course. This is your room—" Po was cut off by the tiger beastman's approach as she glared at him. "I mean... you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to kung fu, and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning." Applejack had just about enough of the disrespect. "Now listen here, ya'-" AJ was about to talk to Tigress, but the door was closed on her and Po, as the panda beastman stared, feeling stunned and saddened. "Big fan..." Po simply said. Later, Po was standing under a peach tree on a hill, feeling dejected, as the Canterlot High Students tried to comfort him, while Swampsuke just leaned on the peach tree. Then Oogway approached them with a glowing lantern. "I see you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom." He said, causing Po and the students to turn around and Swampsuke to open his eyes. Po's arms was full of peaches, with his mouth equally stuffed, as he dropped the peaches in shock. "I knew you would come here." Swampsuke said to Oogway. "Is that what this is? I am so sorry. I thought it was just a regular peach tree." Po apologized with his mouth full as a peach popped out of his mouth before that last word. "Please, don't be mad at us." Fluttershy begged, timidly. "I understand. You eat when you are upset." Oogway said to Po, as the panda beastman spat out the remaining peaches. "Upset? I'm not upset. What makes you think I'm upset?" Po asked quickly. "So why are you upset?" Oogway countered with his own question, making Po pause. "He got ya' ther', sugarcube." Applejack said to Po as he sighed, knowing there's no use trying to lie to Oogway. "I probably sucked more today than anyone in the history of kung fu, in the history of the country, in the history of sucking." Po explained. "Probably." Oogway responded, much to the CH students shock, except Swampsuke. "And the Five... man, you should have seen them, they totally hate me." Po continued. "Totally." Oogway responded once more. "How's Shifu ever gonna turn me into the Dragon Warrior?" Po asked as he lifted his belly and dropped it, causing it to bounce until he stopped with his his paw as he sighed. "I mean, I'm not like the Five. I've got no claws, no wings, no venom. Even Mantis has those... (imitating a mantis's raptorial forelegs) ...thingies. Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles." Po said as he sat down with his back turned to Oogway. "C'mon, Po! You can't quit!" Sunset tried to tell the beastman as her friends agreed, Swampsuke only letting out a scoff, and Oogway looking at all of them for a moment. "Quit, don't quit. Noodles, don't noodles." Oogway started, making Po and the others look back at the tortoise beastman in confusion. "You are too concerned with what was and what will be. There's a saying: Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." Oogway advised them as he tapped the tree with his staff, causing a peach to fall into Po's open paw, followed by other peaches falling to a single open palm of Sunset and her friends each. They smiled, even Swampsuke, as they watched the tortoise leave. "Ya know, I always thought the present was like what Master Oogway said." Pinkie told her friends. "Heh, guess that old turtle has a lot of faith in you panda." Swampsuke scoffed with a smile. "Tomorrow's another day." Soulfire told Po. "Yep, you can always keep trying." Raptor agreed as he took a bite out of the peach he was holding. Po looked up in the sky as he and the others agreed and went back to get some sleep. To be continued...