//------------------------------//
// (1) The Spellcaster 
// Story: Wish Fulfillment (Legacy Version) 
// by Boopy Doopy 
//------------------------------//

BEST URGENT SPELLCASTER ADVERTISED. 100% GUARANTEED RESULTS. POWERFUL SPELLCASTER CALLED LORD ZULU TO HELP YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED IN LIFE. LOVE SPELLS OBSESSION SPELLS LOTTERY SPELLS AND MORE. CONTACT HIM NOW FOR YOUR TESTIMONIES. CONTACT HIM ON WHATSAPP NOW @(+1)200-969-7441. DO NOT WAIT. VISIT LORDZULUSHOUSEOFSPELLS.WEBSITE2.ME
“...what?” I couldn’t help but laugh to myself. This was just about the last thing I’d expected to see on a My Little Pony fanfiction website. An ad for a spellcaster in a forum about Rainbow Dash. The sheer shock of seeing the thing made me lean back laughing in my chair, almost falling out of the thing.
I had to share this with my friends. It was something we had fun doing; browsing the website to see what silly things we could find was something we liked to do in our pastime. We’d found some pretty wild things, but so far, this took the cake.
Look at this, I typed out in our group chat, sending a screenshot of the ad along with a few of the comments from the forum. I love this website so much, I typed. We get such great content as this. Ads for spellcasters.
Where in the world did you find this, Rally?, my friend, Shorey, asked. How do they just allow ads for fake services about spellcasting to be posted? Seeing this makes me sad.
Doesn’t make me sad, I replied. I love it. I think stuff like this is great. Suddenly, an idea came to me, and I typed out, I think I’m gonna call this Lord Zulu guy.
This was the kind of thing every MLP fan dreamed of, and I wanted to play with the idea of it. He said he could do any spell for what you needed in life. Having a spell caster turn you into a pony in Equestria? That was the crux of just about every other fic in the MLP fandom. This was how those things started, a concept that made me laugh harder. I was gonna call up a spellcaster and be turned into a pony. Well, probably not, but it was fun to pretend and joke around with.
I was already on the line when Shorey was telling me that I shouldn’t. You know, this could end up being something that you get charged by the minute for, they told me. You’re gonna call them and then receive a hundred dollar bill in the mail in three weeks, you know that, right?
Well, I’ll pay a ten dollar bill if I'm sent one, but not a hundred, I replied. They’re gonna have to take me to court for that.
As I said it, the line was suddenly going to voicemail without ever being answered. It was what I expected though. A random ad on a random website about spell casting whose phone number was being hosted through WhatsApp wasn’t likely to provide very much, not that I ever expected anything. Still, having this ‘Lord Zulu’ person answer the call would’ve at least been a few minutes of fun.
They didn’t even answer anyway, I finished. I just wanted to be a pony in Equestria. I’m a simple girl with simple dreams.
As I said it, my phone started to ring, and I started to laugh again. The person was calling me back! My fun would last a few more minutes at least.
“Hello?” I asked as I answered the phone. “Am I speaking to Lord Zulu?” I wore a smile the whole time, absolutely ready to have fun trolling whoever this person was.
“Yes, this is Lord Zulu,” the man on the other end answered, having an accent that was clearly Indian or Pilipino or Sri Lankan or some other country in southeast Asia. “You are calling about a love spell sir, yes?” he asked.
“Um, I’m a ma’am,” I said quickly, silently cringing at my voice. “But I was calling about a spell to turn me into a pony in Equestria.”
I went back to smiling during the minute of silence as he tried to process what I was saying. After a second, he asked, “You are calling about what kind of spell?”
“I want a spell that will turn me into a pony in Equestria,” I repeated. “Your website was advertised on a My Little Pony website, so I want a spell that will turn me into a pony in Equestria.”
“Hmmm, I see,” he said, sounding like he was deep in thought. “I do believe this I can do.”
“Well, I don’t think you can, but if you could-” I said before I was abruptly hung up on. 
Well, that was rude, I thought to myself as I pulled up the messaging client again. But that’s about what I expected. I guess I had about two minutes of fun trying to troll him.
I explained what happened to the group chat, and a few of my friends laughed along with me about the situation. 
He has a website and everything, I typed. I mean, how can you not trust a website hosted by website2.me? I absolutely would.
Well, it’s all fun and games until you get charged, Shorey told me. When you get a bill in the mail, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
If I become a pony in the next twenty four hours, then I will pay whatever bill is sent to me. It would be absolutely worth it to be the cutest mare of all time.
Well, if you suddenly go missing in the next twenty four hours, another friend, Forrester, told me, then I’m going to be the first to follow you. We’ll make it a group thing. 
You better, I told him. I can’t just go alone. We need everyone there. You know, for science.
Oh, of course. I would never abandon you. Who’d be there to save you from whatever danger you found? Or whatever drugs you took, more likely? Shorey and I, obviously.
I laughed at the idea of that. Forrester, Shorey, and I, and the rest of our group chat friends ending up in Equestria. If I did go, I wouldn’t be surprised to see a line of people right behind me. I couldn’t imagine anyone would pass up on something like this.
I laughed to myself at that idea before putting it out of my head. I focused my attention on other things, like cleaning my apartment and getting ready for work tomorrow. I almost forgot about it completely until I got a text a couple of hours later from the number I called.
Hello, I’m here to get back to you on the spell you requested, Lord Zulu wrote to me. You said it is not a love spell, correct?
Nope, not a love spell, I wrote back. I just want to be a pony in Equestria. Can you do that for me?
If you have anyone going through relationship problems, you can refer them to me, he typed back.
I chuckled at that message and sent, If you turn me into a pony in Equestria, I will refer my whole friend list to you. I already told everyone to get in my friends group to call you if you did.
I can, he said, but it’s going to cost you money for the materials to cast the spell that will turn you into a pony and put you in Equestria, that’s a three hundred dollar fee.
Before I could respond to him, he sent a list of information I needed to provide to him. It contained things like my first and last name, my county and state, my age, my phone number, and more. It was more than I was willing to give out for a joke to troll someone, that was for sure. And even if I did want to give fake information and continue trolling, I certainly wasn’t about to send three hundred bucks to what everyone in the world knew was a scam.
I don’t have that kind of money, unfortunately, I said. Think you could spot me for ninety nine cents? Also, since you’re a spellcaster, can you just read my mind and put that information in for me?
I got a response back from him a minute later. Do you believe this to be a joke? Dear ma’am, I am serious when I require three hundred dollars. Materials for transportation spells are quite expensive.
Exactly! Which is why I’m offering you ninety nine cents! You can buy a cheeseburger from McDonald’s with that kind of money, or three cookies! Think of it!
I smiled to myself at my message, enjoying the moment. I didn’t do things like this all the time, but when I did, I tried to go all out and have as much fun as I could with it. The sillier it was, the better it was in my opinion.
Or, since you’re a wizard, you can time travel and put it into Bitcoin and become a millionaire! Just think of the possibilities!
It was a longer time before he sent a response, probably close to thirty minutes. When he did, he only asked, Do you believe I’m trying to trick you? Is this a joke on your part?
I laughed at that and sent back, Absolutely not! I would never ever joke about spellcasting! These things are a serious matter, which, as a wizard, you should know. It’s offensive that you would ever even insinuate such a thing of me. I’m insulted! Just for that, I might take my business elsewhere!
I see, he replied, almost impossibly fast, a matter of seconds after I sent my text out. You are trying to play games with me. For this, I will teach you a lesson, one that will only be learned by granting you what you ask for. There’s no need for you to send your information. Your phone number should be sufficient enough to acquire it. The only requirement is that you tell other people of what I’m about to do. Since you and whoever you associate with are unbelieving, you will be used as an example of what I can do. When your friends know that you got your wish fulfilled, the rest will be required to pay for their spells. In less than twenty eight hours, your wish will be granted.
That made me laugh. Not twenty four hours, twenty eight. Fancy. Clearly, this was a spellcaster of a caliber the world had never seen. 
Oh, I absolutely will, I responded. I’ll give them your Whatsapp phone number and everything. You’re gonna be so rich! But, you know, it would be better to just settle for my pocket change and go back in time and invest in Bitcoin. Also, you gotta make sure I’m an alicorn. I’m gonna be disappointed and won’t recommend your services if I’m not.
I waited for a response, but none came. I guessed that meant he was done dealing with my joking. With that, I sent the screenshots of our conversation to Shorey, Forrester, and the rest of our group chat. They got just as much of a laugh out of it as I did, and commented their thoughts on the situation.
I’m telling you, I’ll absolutely be the very first person to pay three hundred dollars to go to Equestria, Forrester said. Lucky you, getting to go for free.
And in twenty eight hours, too! I replied. It’s very considerate of him to give me that exact timeframe.
Just make sure to change your Paypal and Discord passwords and stuff, Shorey instructed. You know people can log into those things with just your phone number. I don’t want to see you get hacked and scammed, Rally.
Eh, I’ll do that if I get an email about a login attempt. I just can’t wait until I turn into a pony and get to meet Princess Celestia. It’s gonna be the best. Anyway, what have you guys been up to?
The conversation moved on from there, and any thought I had of Lord Zulu left my mind. I didn’t even give the conversation he and I had a passing thought the rest of the night, or the next day as well, not even noticing that twenty eight hours had passed with nothing happening to me. Around that time though, I did yawn and flop onto my bed, deciding that I could go for the rare nap after a long day of work. I set my alarm for two hours, thinking to myself that after that I’d get back up and proceed with the rest of my day. 
The rest of my day did not proceed in quite the way I expected.