//------------------------------//
// Chapter Fifty Three: Of Pinkie Time and Broken Mind 
// Story: Trixie is Pregnant and It's Twilight's Problem 
// by TheCrimsonDM 
//------------------------------//


Chapter Fifty Three: Of Pinkie Time and Broken Mind



Written by TheCrimsonDM


Rainbow Dash lay on Pinkie's floor staring up at the ceiling. She was tired, bored, and a little down. Often times if she let her mind wonder she'd start thinking about Fluttershy, but she wasn't the only one, Pinkie was more torn up over Fluttershy than she let on. It was clear that they both loved Fluttershy, and the breakup had hurt both of them in a way Rainbow Dash couldn't even begin to understand. Yet as hurt as she was, she had to remind herself that this was actually the second time that Fluttershy and Pinkie had broken up. She wasn't sure if that made it easier, or far worse.

Pinkie Pie was over by her writing desk. The desk itself was a strange one as the edges of it were carved to look like cupcakes and trails of frosting. It was even painted to seem as such. The frosting was a fun choice but this had to have been some kind of special order, Rainbow Dash couldn't imagine that this would be a popular design.

Pinkie glanced back at Rainbow Dash who was still lying on the floor and watching her. "You okay, Dashy?"

Rainbow Dash nodded. "Yeah, I'm good. You?"

"I'm perfect! I mean, not actually perfect, nopony is perfect, but with you around I feel perfect, and that's all that matters right?"

Rainbow Dash giggled. "Whatever you say."

Pinkie Pie looked back at the paper she was writing on. "Hey, Dashy. If you need any more of my special cupcakes just let me know."

"I’m good for now. I'll let you know if I get sad enough for one again."

Pinkie nodded. "You know things are kind of weird now."

Rainbow Dash looked back up at the ceiling. "You can say that again."

"It's nice to have you hanging with me like this again though. Makes some things feel more normal."

"Yeah, I guess this is pretty normal isn't it. If I'm not busy wasting time at your place I'm... well I don't know where else I'd go."

Pinkie Pie picked up her pen in her mouth and began writing something. She finished after a few minutes and set it down. "If you’re not comfortable here, you can let me know."

Rainbow Dash rolled over onto her side feeling herself being as lazy as ever. "Nah, I'm good here. I mean, unless you want me to leave you alone or something."

Pinkie Pie shook her head. "No, I'd rather have you around."

"You’re not going to leave me are you?"

It was clear from the way Pinkie's back stiffened that she was taken aback by the question. She spun around in her chair. "Oh no, Dashy. Do you need cuddles? I won't leave you I promise. Do you need cuddles? I'm good at cuddles."

Rainbow Dash shook her head. "No, I mean, if you want to, I'm not going to stop you. But I just wanted to ask."

Pinkie Pie looked back at her paper. "Mmmm, I can't decide if I should finish this and then cuddle you, or cuddle you and then hope I remember to do this later."

"What are you even doing?"

Pinkie Pie leaned back in her chair. "I'm trying to find a new formula for a new cake. All my ideas are just so... not Pinkie. So I'm trying to find one that is very Pinkie."

"Sounds hard."

"It is. I don't just come up with crazy plans in the moment I'll have you know, well not usually. I usually have to spend days, or even weeks studying, practicing, and scheming to make my spontaneous plans work."

"That doesn't sound spontaneous."

Pinkie Pie giggled. "That's the trick. I'm sure Trixie would appreciate the thought."

"Oh what and I'm not smart enough to appreciate it?"

Pinkie jumped off her chair and trotted over to where Rainbow Dash was before laying down next to her. "I didn't say that. Did I say that? Oh no, I didn't mean to say that."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "You didn't say that."

"Then why would you think that? I just... I don't know if you understand what it's like to put a lot of work into a party before it ever comes up, that way you can look like you knew what you were doing all along."

Rainbow Dash looked up at her. "Pinkie, I literally practice doing flight maneuvers all the time. I think I can understand."

Pinkie bit her lower lip. "Then maybe it's me who doesn't understand?"

"What do you mean?"

Pinkie Pie's gentle blue eyes seemed to melt into Rainbow Dash's. "I want to understand you, to get to know you more than anypony. To know what you’re thinking and feeling. Maybe you could tell me more about what it's like to practice for flying stuff?"

Rainbow Dash beamed up at her. "Would you like that? I'm going to be talking about myself for a long time you know."

Pinkie Pie reached out and placed a hoof over Rainbow Dash's. "Of course I would. I love listening to you talk about anything. You don't even have to talk. You can just be there, and I'd love you no matter what."

Rainbow Dash's lip quivered for a moment. "Thanks." 

Those words seemed to hit somewhere deep inside of her and she felt herself being weak, but maybe it was okay to be weak in front of Pinkie. After all, Pinkie had seen sides of her that nopony else was privy to. Not once did Pinkie ever judge her for these things either. She was always just there for Rainbow Dash. There for Rainbow Dash to make her feel good, to feel better about herself. A strange thought occurred to her then. "Pinkie, you do a lot of stuff for me. Is there anything I can do for you?"

Pinkie Pie smiled. "What, like now?"

Rainbow Dash nodded. "Sure, I got nothing better to do."

Pinkie pie glanced at the bed. "Well... um… there is one thing. It's kind of weird though, is that okay?"

"Why are you asking me if it's okay? I love you because you’re weird."

Pinkie Pie stood up, walked to the bed and jumped onto it. She looked over at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow began to sit up expecting Pinkie to ask her to come join her. Pinkie spoke. "Stay there. Well, I mean, if you need a better view you can get closer."

"A better view of what?"

Pinkie Pie scooted herself toward the edge of the bed, and spread her legs open. "I just... want you to watch me for a while. You can make yourself feel good too if you want, but... would you watch me? I have a bit of a voyeurism kink."

Rainbow Dash's eyes widened as she realized what Pinkie was about to do. She swallowed. "Okay, just watching, I can do that."

Pinkie was right, this was weird, but it was the kind of weird that Rainbow Dash could get behind.


***


Trixie and Twilight were on the balcony of the Golden Oaks library, though she enjoyed her lover's presence at all times, Trixie was feeling apprehensive at the moment about Twilight. Trixie had just gotten done gathering her courage and explaining the memory that had returned to her while at the Apple Family Farm. The look of wide-eyed, pinpricked pupil horrified expression that Twilight had on her face was enough to convince Trixie that Twilight in fact had no idea that event had happened, or of all that had transpired.

Twilight blinked. "I... T-Trixie. Are you sure that was a memory? C-could it just be like a waking nightmare? Or something bad but not you know, real?"

Trixie bit her lower lip and looked away. She couldn't look into those eyes and speak. It hurt her to think that Twilight too had suffered from the same problems, the same curse that Celestia had inflicted upon her. "I'm almost positive. I've had these flashes of memories returning to me ever since I wore the Alicorn Amulet. I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that while wearing the amulet I had sex with Fluttershy or something."

Twilight pulled away. "Please don't make jokes like that.”

Trixie laughed bitterly. "Sorry, I guess I'm just preparing myself for whatever horrible thing I remember next."

Twilight lowered her gaze a little. "Trixie, I would never do something like that to you now. You know that right?"

"I do."

"Then... then why should it matter if maybe I did something so evil, so long ago. Something I can't even really remember very well."

Trixie looked back to Twilight. Twilight was shaking, her ears pressed back against her scalp and her eyes staring at the wooden floor beneath them in silent horror. Trixie wasn't the only one suffering here. Though she would rather that she was the only one to suffer. Twilight didn't need this, but Trixie knew that keeping this memory a secret, would have destroyed them as surely as Fluttershy keeping her secrets destroyed her and Rainbow Dash.

Trixie spoke as carefully as she could. "Twilight, Trixie loves you. No matter what happened in the past. Perhaps your right, perhaps this doesn't matter to who we are now, to what we are now, but Trixie feels that it's important to find out why we have these memory gaps."

Twilight glanced back up at her. "You know, I d-don't like to talk about it much. But... there are some things I can't remember from when I was in school. Things that just... they're just like a blur to me. Like, I know I had a group of friends in school, but I can't remember any of them, who they were, their names, or even their faces. It's like, I try to recall them and there's this giant wall. A big, flaming wall of heat and pain, and I can't get past it."

Trixie shivered herself at the description. She really hoped that Celestia didn't have some dark history that they were both a part of, but at this point she was all but certain that Celestia had screwed with their minds. Only Trixie was overcoming those barriers, and that was only because of the Alicorn Amulet seemed to have broken something in her head.

Twilight bit her lower lip. "Like, you know I lived in a giant tower after school was over right?"

Trixie nodded. "Trixie had asked about it once, Spike explained that you lived there, and that you might have left the crushed remains of some Moon Dancer's gift on the floor."

Twilight blinked. "What's a moon dancer?"

"Trixie figured it was some kind of strange unicorn ritual in Canterlot. Much like the rain dancers."

Twilight shrugged. "Point is, I don't remember hardly anything about the tower. I lived there with Spike. I wrote letters, I researched, I watched the moon at night and the stars, but I did nothing else that I can remember. I don’t remember even having my parents or my brother over for dinner. I can't even remember what my bedroom looked like there. Well... vaguely."

Trixie looked out over the balcony. "Maybe you and Trixie should go there sometime. See what mysterious are left behind."

Twilight swallowed. "I'm scared."

"You're scared of your old home?"

Twilight nodded. "What if, what if there's a reason I so easily abandoned it. Some reason I can't remember much about it. Some dark mystery that I should never unravel. Trixie, I don't want to go there alone."

Trixie reached out and covered Twilight's hooves with her own. She squeezed them gently and waited until Twilight looked up and met her eyes. "Trixie will not let you go alone. She will be right there beside you, every step of the way."

Twilight's lip curled up in a small smile. "Y-you will?"

Trixie leaned forward and gently kissed Twilight's lips. Once she pulled back she made sure to nuzzle Twilight's nose once or twice before speaking again. "Trixie will be there for you. Always."

Twilight moved her head forward, her face going into Trixie's neck and hiding there. "Thank you."

"You’re welcome, love."

"Don't tell anypony about this please. I don't want them to know I'm more broken than they thought."

"Trixie will keep your secret safe."

For a long moment after that, the two of them held each other. Holding hooves and nuzzling one another as the sun in the sky began to slowly sink down over the horizon. Somehow, despite the fact the sun was going to bed for the night, Trixie had this uneasy feeling that Celestia herself was wide awake. It was an uneasy feeling and one that Trixie had no recourse for how to deal with. So she just stayed with Twilight, hoping, praying that the two of them would get through any dark mystery, any horrible secret, or traumatic past together.