Can You Keep a Secret?
BY: cleverpun
Hello. My name is Pinkie Pie. I know nopony will ever read this; By Celestia I hope nopony ever does… But I couldn’t hold it in anymore, and they say journals keep secrets as well as anything. Can you keep a secret? Of course you can, how silly of me to ask.
I’m a changeling. But it’s more than that, I’ve been a changeling for a while, and I’ve been lying to everypony about it ever since. Let me start at the beginning.
I guess it was about a year ago. It was a few months after that meanie queenie tried to take over Canterlot at the wedding. I just woke up one day, and I was a changeling. I know right? Seems so abrupt, so crazy. But it’s the truth, Pinkie Promise.
I was pretty upset you know, I guess anypony would be. My coat was all… blegh, dark and unkempt, and my hooves looked like Swiss cheese. I didn’t know what to do. I spent a long time just staring at the mirror in my bathroom, crying. What would my friends think of me? What would the town do to me when they found out? And I was staring at the mirror, wishing I looked like my old pink self, there was this flash of green fire, and before I knew it, I looked just like my old self! I guess changeling powers work from your thoughts. Twilight would probably explain it better. I guess I still don’t understand them very well. Kinda weird right? A changeling who hasn’t figured out their own powers, who can only do one disguise…
But it was perfect, the disguise I mean. Even I couldn’t tell what was underneath it. My coat was the same bright pink, my mane was nice and poofy, and my cutie mark was the same as always. And my brain still worked. That was the most important part. Everything about me was exactly the same. Except underneath my chocolate Pinkie coating, there was a chewy, changeling center.
I wasn’t sure what to do then. I mean, I couldn’t tell anypony! What if they rejected me? Fired me from my job? Exiled me from Ponyville? No, I couldn’t tell anypony. I had to live with it. Even if there was a cure nopony would look at me the same way again if they knew. It was better if I kept it to myself.
I took the day off from work. I told the cakes I was having some identity issues. I guess they thought I was joking, and I sort of was. I don’t use my personal days very much anyway. So, I went to the library and checked out a book on changelings. Twilight asked what I needed it for, and I said I was thinking of making changeling cookies for Nightmare Night. The first of many lies. So many lies…
The book was pretty helpful, though. It told me changelings feed on love. I knew that from the wedding of course, but it also said that it didn’t need to be the romantic kind of love. Platonic love would work too. That sometimes changelings didn’t even bother to replace somepony, and just integrated into a town and made themselves well-liked…
It was perfect. What better pony to be turned into a changeling than me? I could feed off the love everypony had for me, and everything could stay exactly the same. Nopony would have to know what had happened to me, I wouldn’t have to burden them with my problems, and best of all, they wouldn’t have any reason to be afraid of me.
I had to lie to them of course. It was for their good and mine. At least, that’s what I tell myself. Every day I have to wake up in that horrible body, and then I go into the bathroom and put on my costume. I’m not sure why I go in there to do it. Maybe I hope one day I’ll look into the mirror and I’ll be normal. Perhaps I like to pretend I’m like Rarity putting on her make-up. I’m still the same exact pony, right? Knowing the truth would only cause everypony problems. I’ve wanted to tell them, so many times, and there’s been a few times where they almost found out. This one time Rainbow Dash crashed into my room when I was sleeping, and I almost didn’t have enough time to disguise myself. All the dust blocked the light and fire, though.
I guess I’m ranting aren’t I? I was never a great writer I suppose, my mind always wanders when I’m writing, but really I just wanted to get it all out, before I broke down and told somepony. It’s better if they never know. It’s better to just live with the lie. Besides, it’s really not so bad being a changeling. Sometimes I even forget about it, until I wake up.
I had planned to burn this after I wrote this little confession, but this has actually been helpful… Maybe I’ll do it again? I have to go though. Today is Twilight’s birthday, and I still have to finish up the decorations. I just didn’t want to have an outburst at the party. I mean, could you imagine? It’d be one thing to tell just one pony; at least they could keep a secret, but parties can’t keep secrets!
Anyway, I have to go, but… thanks for listening.
Twilight put down the journal. That was the only entry in it anyway. She heard somepony coming up the stairs, and quickly shoved the book back into Pinkie’s nightstand.
“Hey Twilight, did you find those streamers yet?” Pinkie hopped into her room, as chipper as ever.
“Uh, no, sorry. Your room is kind of a mess Pinkie. Uh, no offense.”
Pinkie scanned her room, and shrugged. “What, you don’t sort your room by color? It’s way easier in the long run!”
“Uh, I guess…”
“It’s okay Twilight, I’ll help you find it. You’re supposed to be such an organized Ophelia, shouldn’t be that hard!”
Pinkie began rummaging through her dresser, and as Twilight watched her, nothing seemed different. It was definitely Pinkie Pie, in personality and appearance…
“Aha! Found it! See, purple streamers, right next to the purple hats and purple shoes, in the purple set of drawers. Super simple, right?”
“You definitely have a… unique logic to your room.”
“Oh Twilight, someday you’ll appreciate my particular type of genius. Now c’mon, gotta get these up before the other guests arrive!”
Pinkie bounced off down the stairs, but Twilight didn’t follow her right away. She was completely unsure how to react to what she had just read… It was true there was no known way to reverse a changeling transformation, and she distinctly remembered Pinkie borrowing that book from the library so many months ago, but, it was such an unsettling idea. She would never have suspected that Pinkie had forged such a convincing façade, or that she was so dependent on what other ponies thought of her, that she was so afraid of their reaction.
“Twilight, you coming?”
“Oh, yeah…”
Twilight followed Pinkie down the stairs, where Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were helping put up the streamers they had found. Pinkie was bouncing around, setting doilies everywhere. They had seemed a perfect decoration for Rarity’s birthday, she had explained to everypony earlier. A timer rung from the kitchen, and Pinkie went to check on whatever was cooking, still hopping instead of walking, just like she always did…
Just like she always had.
“Is something wrong Twilight?”
Twilight looked up to find the two pegasi staring at her. She was about to say something, but Pinkie burst through the door carrying a tray of cupcakes before any words came out.
“There, perfect! Like my cutie mark cupcakes? Good thing Rarity has a boring one haha! Uh… Why’s it so quiet? I was just kidding, you know, I like Rarity’s cutie mark.”
“No, it’s not that, Twilight just seemed distracted.”
“I’m fine Fluttershy, it’s nothing, really. Here, let me help you with those Pinkie, they look great…”
The two pegasi continued hanging streamers, and Twilight helped Pinkie shuffle the cupcakes onto a desert tray.
It’s not nothing… She thought quietly to herself. But I can keep a secret can’t I? At least for one party… I can keep a secret…