Cersus found herself in the care of Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor for the last several days, and hated it. The newborn foal was loud, and casted too much magic during the night which led to an exhausted nymph struggling to eat her delicious breakfast.
Another issue with this switch in care was not only wasn’t she allowed to see Topaz and Idol because of ‘reasons’, but the love the royal couple produced had dropped right after the Hatred Storm. Before they would practically gush the stuff all over the palace that the nymph didn’t even feel guilty snacking before dinner most of the time, but now that love was a trickle. She didn’t even need to feel their emotions to know something was up, but it became obvious whenever she entered a room with them, or they were around her making it clear somehow she was the problem.
Cersus marked this as stress from the wild newborn and having heard tales of her exploits must have made the Royal Couple question bringing that filly home in the first place.
Today was no different, and as she stuck her fork into the fluffy center of that wicked tasting Prench Toast, the nymph noticed how her temporary caretakers sagged at the table whenever they stopped moving. She watched them as she chewed the syrup-drenched piece of toast, noticing how they took turns trying to fall asleep with the prince slumping further into the hoof he used to support himself before jolting up. Cadence looked content as her eyes remained closed while she tried feeding herself some Prench Toast, except she would dab the syrup all over her cheek before stabbing the plate for another piece.
The nymph watched with fascination as the same piece remained on the fork, but with new syrup to replace what was lost- the cycle repeated.
“I wonder if I should tell them about the other empty rooms?” Cersus though as she cut another piece of toast with her fork, and as before applied more than enough syrup to the lone island of fluffy bread.
Dealing with the newborn during the day was bad enough when the couple left to do adult things, and she particularly dreaded when Cadence would ask if she could foalsit the newborn for ‘a few minutes’. So she waited until they fell asleep before sneaking off for another room to get some rest. It wasn’t much, but it had proven to be enough to survive the last several days, and a simple fib about waking up early had avoided any suspicion of her whereabouts.
In the end, she decided to reveal her nightly routine in the chance they forbid that as well. The nymph ate the final piece of her breakfast, and pushed the plate away, the scraping of glass on glass did nothing to wake the royal couple from their dreamlike actions as the filly left the room.
The newborn was in the care of a nurse as was the custom in the mornings until they pawned the weird foal onto her for the remainder of the day. Figuring she’ll make an effort to evade them this time, Cersus decided to explore more of the floor she called home until dinner or was found.
It became a game for the bored and angry nymph.
While the appeal of hiding in one very similar looking room did tickle Cersus’s fancy, she decided against playing hide and seek for now and trotted off looking for a certain guard mare. It had been a few days after the storm, and the nymph wouldn’t tell anypony how she truly felt about it, instead she would puff out her chest if only to convince herself it meant nothing. The Princesses were still here with some of their guards, but their continued visit seemed pointless to the nymph, and everytime she by chance encountered the white one, a certain fear arose within Cersus that forced her to flee.
The dark one wasn’t so bad. She sometimes gave her treats(even if they tasted like chalk) and tried to talk to her. Surprisingly, the dark princess even gave her blessing to seek her out if the nymph wanted to visit- neat! This was how she discovered her second favorite guard was even here and with permission from the dark princess, was allowed to visit if it didn’t interfere with her duties meaning they could chat anytime of the day.
Cersus made the necessary turns and followed the delightful smell of durians down the hall where she knew at least one of the bat ponies would be on watch.
“Ah, Lady Redshock. Welcome back.” The voice came from above, and while it didn’t belong to the mare she wanted to see, Cersus still welcomed it.
“Hello Rollie Pollie!” The nymph chirped as the bat pony gladed down from the ceiling.
“Ah, I was mistaken. It's just a katydid.” The mare chuckled before offering her hoof to the disguised nymph to which Cersus bumped with her own hoof. “What brings you around here so early? Normally you’ll wait until the afternoon when the durians are being cut.”
“I wanted to change it up, ya know? Give ponies a break from the usual and excite their life even if it's for a little bit.”
“Even if that means worrying them for most of the day, this is why we don’t have any foals. Between being in the guard, and Hidden Switch’s responsibilities back in Shady Oaks a foal like you would be too much. So congratulations Redshock, you convenience two ponies to not have a foal.”
“I do Equestria a great service!” Cersus beamed as the Thestral chuckled, fangs exposed to show how comfortable she was around the weird filly.
“Now, that isn’t to say we won't find the time, and you 're not all that bad…”
“I’m 1 of 1. Remember that.”
“Oh no mistaking that, but what if one day you were to become a 1 of 2?” In a rare display of innocence, the Thestrals' implication was lost to Cersus as the disguised nymph laughed.
“No pony could clone me! I’m like the night, and won’t be replaced.”
The mare’s eyes went wide with surprise and mild offense at the causal use of the phrase, and only through a combination of her training and familiarity of the filly did she not snap back. The phrase was old, almost primordial among the Thestrals that was about the closest a mortal could say they too stood next to The Moon. That they were a pony of reverence, and were to be treated as one.
“Careful filly. Don’t repeat that in front of the others, else you learn something more about us than you care to know.”
“Like how you eat bugs? I already knew that months ago before I moved here.” Cersus rolled her eyes at the silly mare trying to scare her. “My bat pony friend told me.”
“That’s not exactly what I meant, but just don’t repeat that, again. It’s like insulting one's family, but it's the whole species.” Rollie caught the filly using the word bat, but ignored the almost slur simply because Redshock said it with no hate.
“Alright, alright. I won't say it again.” Redshock even raised a hoof while she said this in the familiar gesture of a filly scout, which wasn’t a part of, but thought everypony did when admitting defeat. Rollie Pollie wasn’t any wiser and accepted this at face value that would later prove to be a mistake.
“Good, and while I enjoy your company as a good time waster, something pulls at the wings…”
“I don’t see anything.” Redshock noted, and earned an exasperated sigh.
“A Thestral saying, it means something is bothering you, and don’t go denying it. You aren’t as active as you should be, but instead more quiet so spill it.”
“Am I really that noticeable?” The disguised nymph hung her head as the jig was up, and the energy to pretend left her. Rollie Pollie moved closer and gave her a hug.
“Everypony has an off day here, and there, and that’s fine, it's normal.” She gave the filly a squeeze around her withers. “But yours screams ‘I’m sad, and want somepony to talk to’ and that’s where I come in.”
Cersus looked at the mare through the green mane of her disguise, gave the offer a quick thought( no thought actually) before nodding her acceptance of the offer. Rollie might now have been the mare she sought, but her ear was just as good for the concerns festering in her mind and heart.
“I miss them, and I think it might be my fault, but nopony tells me anything, but they know! They’re just hiding it like all adults do if there’s something wrong.”
Rollie tried her best not to reveal she already knew who the filly was referring to, and instead sat there nodding like a good listener should. The mildly above weight mare nodded along until the filly finished, and by now the bat pony couldn’t keep up the charade as her own parents would often leave for some sort of business leaving her alone with her grandparents. She hated to say it, but she sometimes considered them to be her real parents by how often they took care of her, making the current relationship with her parents cordial at best.
“They were hurt during the storm.” the bat guard blurted out, and against her better training continued spilling the beans.
As Cersus listened to the guard, she found it difficult to keep her disguise up as she fell to the floor trembling, and on the verge of tears. Rollie Pollie felt terrible for causing the nice filly some pain, but in her mind it was necessary and the right thing to do than to hide the truth about one's parents. Within a heartbeat, the bat mare was laying down next to the almost crying filly as she draped a wing across her back.
Unable to leave her post, Rollie Pollie comforted the distraught filly who had been told her parents were away on a mission, and not being treated for injuries sustained by looking for said filly. With a promise to take her to see Topaz once her shift ended later that afternoon, the filly perked up just a bit, but nowhere near her early morning stride.
I found myself standing guard in the eastern side of the castle today meaning I likely wouldn’t find anypony, but fellow guards or castle staff during this patrol-that was acceptable.
Fortunately, I was paired with Mothchaser of all ponies, which was strange enough given her sleep schedule, but I was happy to have the company during this strange display over the sun and moon that occupied a single half of the sky.
“I kinda like it, makes things a little more decisive ya know? Oh I’m going to bed, and you move over to the moon side. Want to stay up? Head over to the sun side. Simple.”
“Your logic is both interesting and terrifying should anypony take advantage of a system. We already stand idle while the world around us descends into a lawless pub with this freedom to choose our preferred time of day. It’s against Order.”
I really didn’t like this duality of sharing time as it messed with my work schedule. Mothy found my logic inadequate and prepared a counter question…
“That is a fair, and accurate observation, dear Idol, but wouldn’t most creatures prefer a choice than an ultimatum?”
Mothchaser and I froze not at the question, but from the owner of the voice.
Turning around to see the all mighty Princess Luna staring us down with a less than thrilled looking gaze, but didn't say anything else as she stood there trying to mask her displeasure. Mothchaser took a step forward ready to answer this question when the princess shot her a look, and with a simple command, dismissed the night guard.
“Oh..well, I guess I’ll see you around Idol.” Moth whispered as her body disintegrated into a fine chalk powder that was swept up by the mid morning breeze. I waved her goodbye as she left through the open window.
“You know better Idol than to fraternize with the dreamscape else you slip into a pattern you’ll never escape from. It’s one thing to be dreaming while asleep where your wandering mind is a part of the world itself, and another to assume a role within an established dream.”
“I felt a great comfort from that sense of familiarity, but you are right Luna. I knew she wasn’t real, and she knew I was real because she told me so, but we wanted to catch up on a number of things.” I admitted as I suddenly began thinking of Topaz's home in Canterlot, and wondering if I would ever see it again.
“You worry us friend Idol. We enjoy your company enough to not see you expire so soon, and will aid you.”
“I would no sooner expire from talking than eating a moon pie- it's too chalky.” I blinked and felt a desire to beg for forgiveness.
“OH my, ha! You wound us dear Idol, but a great relief to see more of this personality of yours. It has been over half a year since our last visit, but to see this big of an improvement is welcomed.”
After that, Luna raised her wings and the familiarity of the East Wing of Canterlot Castle faded into the princess’s own design, stars in the night sky surrounded us as we stood in the waters of life. Or as Luna once told me when she first brought me here...
“Has a year already passed since our first meeting?” I asked, noting how the princess splashed the strange water with her hooves, and made me want to follow her example.
“Give or take Idol, but we hadn’t been counting. Much as occupied our time in between, and our meetings became a getaway of sorts we selfishly relished in lieu of their original purpose. For that, we must apologize.”
“My princess has nothing to be apologetic about, instead I should be for causing you and everypony much distress.” I stomped my hoof into the strange water and watched as the world slowly morphed into the living space of Topaz’s home in Canterlot “If anything, I should be thanking you for the time you spent training me in your craft.”
“Think nothing of it.” Luna waved a hoof as she took a seat on the biggest couch. “We saw you had potential and acted on it. If anything, you should be thanking yourself for doing so well, very few can even grasp the idea let alone the ability to physically morph the realm to their will.”
I nodded and to demonstrate I hadn’t fully slacked in my training during these many months, willed in a tea pot and two cups onto the table in front of us. Luna smiled and lifted one of the cups to her lips.
We discuss much after that, and most of it I would have saved for another day if Luna hadn’t been persistent. What was a changeling to do when his friends and superiors knew about his family’s biggest secret?
“You could move again, but I’m afraid there’s a distinct lack of princesses and castles.” Luna suggested as a moon pie appeared in front of her.
“I find the concept of no princess waiting for me in another castle calming. Already, I’m in service to three princesses with one having just been born daunting enough, and to imagine a fifth? Order and Harmony I would find myself partying with the Pink Demon next!”
Luna to my relief nodded in agreement as she chewed on the chalky treat.
“We find no fault with thee, for the birth of Flurry Heart has shaken my beliefs already, and anymore princesses would be an unnecessary crowd. We may be sharing our night at this rate!” Luna threw her head back in a bellowing laughter at the thought.
“To no more upsets.” I suggested, and offered Luna my tea cup. After a moment she smiled and clanked her own against mine.
“To no more upsets, Field Marshal.”
I learned one can actually choke in a dream much like in real life even as Luna cried of ‘a jest’.
Cersus found herself under escort by Rollie Pollie like she had promised.
The disguised nymph was more shock to be led back to her room as the hallway had an extra hoofful of guards patrolling its length. These guards seemed confused to watch them pass, but said nothing as they continued their assigned duties- her escort seemed relieved.
Another turn put them on the correct path to her room, and filly found herself building an equal mixture of joy and fear as they neared the double set of doors she had grown to recognize as her home away from home. She looked up when the bat mare placed hoof on her shoulder.
“I can get into trouble for doing this, so make this quick. I’ll stand watch outside to keep up appearances.” Rollie Pollie warned as they slowed to a stop in front of the ominous looking doors. “Whatever you do, keep it brief.”
Her friend turned around after that to assume the familiar guard stance Cersus was used to seeing in Canterlot, and even with Rollie next to her, Cersus felt alone.
There was that brief moment she almost backtracked and bolted down the hallway to avoid having to open the door, but before she could even take a single step back a feeling kept her pinned in place. It was a feeling that had been growing stronger since leaving the train all those months ago, and a few certain words in particular Idol had told her.
‘I shouldn’t encourage your radical behavior, but your affection for Topaz is as blatant as hers for you. She dotes on you enough to validate certain claims to parenthood, and if you should express interest in confirming those claims then I won’t stop you.’
‘You mean like a guardian, but better?’
‘A guardian with more responsibilities, young Cersus. I have no options, but you do and should explore them as you desire. If you decide to stay or leave for the hive, I will not stop you, but you are always welcomed with Topaz and myself.’
"Do you want me to stay?"
"My decision should have no bearing on your own. But... I would be aggrieved to see you leave."
That had always stuck with her when out wandering the city watching the few foals interacting with their parents in different scenarios as part of her training. Intelligence gathering has always been important and just because her life is very relaxed at the moment doesn’t mean she’d abandoned her instilled training. Plus after the last two years Cersus finally admitted to herself how she envied her friends ability to return to these parents, while she returned to Topaz and Idol who are already fun on occasion, but that never really felt the same.
But recently that dynamic has shifted.
Cersus knew this by the third month after their arrival, and was ok with that as it meant she might one day be one of those foals running around with their…
“Parents.’
The word was foreign and at times bad to say or think because of the implications it meant imposing on not only herself but Topaz and Idol. Now she wasn’t as resolved to follow the rules Idol had insisted she obey in order for her to return to the hive, because now she didn’t really want to go back.
She readied herself and with some assistance from Rollie Pollie, entered her room for the first time in four days.
At first glance the room appeared to be normal with all of their belongings still where they left them, that embarrassing picture of her hanging on the wall, the writing desk, that small table, two beds with one occupied…
Cersus froze when the door closed behind her and the bed started to stir, but once the movement stopped did she renew her trek further into the bedroom. It was strange sensation she was feeling as she moved closer to the bed, yet the closer she got the more her worry morphed into fear at what she would find underneath the bed’s covers. Would she find a battered and broken changeling or pony wrapped like one of those Abyssinian mummies her friends would dress like during Nightmare Night?
She felt her limbs growing heavy as she reached the bed’s edge, and if she were to look down at her own hooves might even say she saw them weighted down by those fears. Cersus wasn’t a scaredy filly, but she was worried for two of the most important creatures in her life, and hearing about them and seeing them were two different things.
The worried filly decided to save herself the stress and just call out to them.
“Topaz? Idol?” The names came out meekly as if she was hoping to not be heard, but the stirring blankets meant she had been heard. She braced herself for what she might see in these next moments wishing to the princesses it wouldn’t be bad.
“Uh? Cersus..” The voice was soft, and filled with love as Cersus found herself nibbling on the offered treat, and immediately found her body more relaxed as she now fought the need to buzz her wings.
“Topaz!” she rushed onto the bed with an excitement she hadn’t felt since before the angry storm.
This renewed innocence was shattered as collided with the mass and heard a mumbled grunt of nothing…
‘There’s no emotion.’ Cersus didn’t know what to think or do even as the hit finally registered and the love she’d come to cherish made its way to her.
“Cersus.. hey sweetie. I’m glad to see you.” Topaz’s slow response and rough speech indicated she had just woken up, and to give the sluggish mare some space the filly wisely jumped back onto the floor.
“Yea it's me.” She said this time with less enthusiasm as she processed the brief lapse in emotion. She watched with trepidation, but grew excited to see the mare that had been raising her and by all accounts was really good…
Cersus’s smile faltered and wings would not buzz as Topaz withdrew the covers to reveal her smiling face, unable to hide the love she had for the filly. She should be thrilled to see the pegasus, but the bandage wrappings around her wings ruined everything for the filly.
“I thought they were going to wait…” Topaz trailed off as she had to fight to stay awake as the medicine coursed through her body. “...come here so I can hug you.”
It was too much: the request, seeing Topaz hurt, her own emotions, and the knowing it was her fault.
“I’M SORRY!” Cersus cried as she rushed to the bedside. Here the filly bawled without remorse and cried harder when she felt one of Topaz’s wings being draped over her.
“Hey..don’t cry…” Her words fell flat as the filly continued to let the many months of pent up emotions pour from her eyes. “... you’re fine aren’t you?”
“It’s..it..my FAULT!” Cersus wailed further into the sheets as the love continued to tie the two together, and this unfiltered, and pure love for her made her even more heartbroken to have caused her two favorite ponies any amount of pain.
“I would do it again. You.. you were out there, and I needed to find you.” The medicine was losing its grip over the injured pegasus, and with increasing clarity moved closer to the bedside to better comfort her filly.
“Why?” Cersus sobbed out as the wing tried to grip her tighter.
“Why wouldn’t I?” The question was so pure it held no other possible implication than to display the mare’s love for the crying filly, and was glad she was unharmed.
The crying had steadily relaxed the next few minutes as previous thoughts of her friends, and the random foals in the parks creeped back into her forethought, Cersus finally understood what she had been jealous of was for nothing. All of that pretending, and implied ‘required duty’ stuff Idol often recited wasn’t an act anymore than her own need to disguise herself when in public- it was just a habit, and nothing more.
With this understanding, Cersus felt herself inching closer to something she had been wanting to say, and feared she might not have the conviction to go through with it later.
“Ca..can..can I ask..” she struggled getting the words out while fighting the last crying fit. The wing gave way to two waiting hooves to take its place in comforting the filly, and with this encouragement Cersus finally asked a question that had been infesting her.
“Ask me what Cersus?” Topaz was becoming more alert as the last bit of medicine left her system. The crying filly had managed to regain control of her emotions just enough to look the mare in the eyes…
“Can I call you…”
The Dreamscape is a weird and terrifying place for a novice, let alone an inexperienced pony to traverse if you don’t fully understand the reality of bending magic to create a pony version of the hive mind. I hadn’t told Luna any of this, but gleaned she discovered the similarities during my interrogation, and while this still bothered me to some extent I found her ability to create a pseudo hive mind fascinating.
It was this reality I found myself in as the Night Princess demonstrated her newly found abilities claiming we could be linked like the changeling hive mind, but recommend against it on the moral ground of privacy. I second this notion to preserve the balance we already had, and to prevent rouge changelings tangling themselves into our reality, but this didn’t mean Luna planned on abandoning this work to the sands of time.
Order and Harmony she made it clear this would become a side activity in her spare time.
“The Stone work is impressive, and rivals the work of Canterlot Castle. I could almost see the magical residue of the stone pony that cut the very stone.”
“That’s because Celestia was the one that cut the stone. I drew up the base plans while she fitted the stones in the pattern you see before you.” Luna announced as she waved a hoof and half of the ruined wall shifted into the immaculate white marble of Canterlot Castle. “Compare the two.”
I did as instructed even before I could examine the two stone samples, their similarities were already lining up- literally. The ruined stones of the Everfree Castle and Canterlot Castle were nearly identical with the natural erosion and decay the only factor for any imperfections.
“Is this a trick Luna? They’re one and the same.” Surely the princess was pulling a jest at my expense, but turning to see her staring expectantly at me dispelled that belief.
“As we said, Celestia cut every stone used to build both castles, but she did employ help in the construction of course. We may be alicorns, but we do have our limits.”
With that conformation, I tried my hardest not to consider the all mighty alicorns as nothing more than overpowered ponies. To avoid thinking of this heresy, I turned to ask Princess Luna a question in the hopes of distracting myself.
“Why would Princess Celestia cut the stones herself instead of using stone masons or another specialized class of pony?”
“There’s no elaborate reasoning besides the need to quickly erect a suitable fortification against the wild lands of a pre settled Equestria.” The alicorn raised a wing from the bedding she had constructed from giant flowers and with a gust of wind blew away the two castles to reveal a world not unlike the Everfree forest.
“This looks like the Everfree Forest.”
“That’s because it is the same forest you know. When ponies began migrating from the lands of our forebears who escaped the wendigos, they found a wild land untamed, but full of potential. It took nearly three centuries to carve enough of a hoofhold for the very first town to be founded.”
The world fell apart and suddenly we were standing amongst a town like Ponyville if it were surrounded by forest on all sides. Ponies here looked remarkably dressed and civilized for supposedly ancient pony history…
“These ponies are well dressed.”
“We lost much during Discord's reign to a point we nearly started over with Dream Valley or Crystal Empire as it is commonly known today, being the bastion of advancement. It’s the sole reason why the Empire is still impressive today.”
That was new to my ears given I lived in the Empire for almost a full year, and never heard of such a history. Topaz has never mentioned anything close to this history, and even my own standing within the castle hasn’t left me privy to this secret which equally worried me and fascinated me.
“I never heard of this until this very moment, and that worries me princess.”
“Fear not Idol, for Discord and Sombra’s reign did much to erase that past unintentionally, with the citizens doing much of the rewriting themselves. Why else would you change your name unless to hide, and start anew?”
I pondered this for a moment and even tried to shift the dream in order to see the Empire before it had reached its current disposition, but gave up after three attempts. Luna strolled over, and after a brief explanation as she graciously batted a wing and the Empire faded into a single stone tower with a village surrounding the base.
“I’d assume this was the Empire before it became an empire?” I asked, and Luna nodded.
“Indeed. It wouldn’t achieve its height for another five centuries or so, and that was long enough to act as the cradle for ponykind. When we speak of Hearts Warming, and the land our ancestors discovered...” She gestured to the image before us. “...this was that very land.”
“Then why do they refer to it as Equestria in the play?” I asked, wondering if there was any reasoning for changing the location.
“That’s because they did discover Equestria, or the first one at least. See? Dream Valley was the first settlement in Equestria, but as the settlement grew and the crystal caverns were discovered the name slowly changed into the Crystal Empire. The settlement you saw in the Old Everfree Forest- that was our expedition south into New Equestria.”
“Hence why a single city is referred to as ‘an empire.”
“Correct. Most of the northernmost cities were actual provinces of Dream Valley, but after Sombra’s takeover and banishing of the Crystal Empire…”
Luna grew quiet and with another gesture from her wings morphed the dream into a large map of Equestria from the latest update nearly three years ago. With this new information, I located the blank space that would become the Crystal Empire, and the more I studied it, the more I began to understand the implications of this reveal.
“You became a hive without a queen, and thus became your own queen.” That was the best way I could understand this new history being divulged to myself. Luna placed a hoof to her chin and nodded after a moment of thought.
“In a way, we did. Sister and I weren’t even princesses at the time, but prominent generals in the Crystal Legions. After our failure to save the Crystal City, there was a brief power struggle for the remainder of ponykind, but with our combined forces we secured our rule and established Equestria. Claiming ourselves as the continuation of Equestria helped the populace at the time cope better than for us to establish a new empire- it stuck.”
Glancing back to the map left me with more questions than answers with the biggest one wondering ‘why me’? Was Luna’s reasoning for telling me all of this meant to serve a grand purpose I can’t see yet, or to simply share a secret with a pony she could trust?
“Why did you share this with me Luna?” I asked, and the princess didn’t appear surprised but pleased with the question…why is she smirking?
“There are many things we wish to share with you Idol, but first you must do something for us first that is of the most importance.”
“Anything, your highness.”
“Idol Hooves, you must wake.”
No sooner did she make her command known, Luna vanished from the dreamscape leaving me standing in front of a map of Equestria. I stood there for an unknown amount of time wondering what she meant by 'wake up’? Had I missed my alarm or was there a situation on hoof that needed my immediate attention?
Luna’s command was strange and yet oddly concerning as I decided to try and wake up, but found the act wasn’t as simple as opening one’s eyes. I didn’t feel sufficiently rested to be stirred into motion, or exhausted to remain in the dreamscape, and not wanting to completely ignore her command began the process of trying to wake myself up.
Opening my eyes revealed the same map as before, and waving a hoof in front of me shifted the world to Topaz’s home in Canterlot. For a reason beyond my comprehension, I was drawn to this realm, and until Luna’s return would have to remain here for any attempt by a novice to traverse the dreamscape would end in mishap. The princess had warned me of ‘fools that believed they were more skilled than they were’ and lost their very essence in the process.
I summoned my desk from the Crystal Empire into the living room, and began the process of trying to wake myself up.