Astral watched cautiously, but Sassi appeared to be alright. He wasn’t sure what was going through her mind, but it must have been a doozy. As she had looked into the mirror, the mare’s demeanor had completely shifted. The military posture faded, an almost serene, peaceful aura radiating from her.
She looked rather shy, a hoof reaching up to touch the woven circlet. A bit of pink shone on Sassi’s cheeks, and her eyes were partially obscured by the bangs that waved back and forth. Previously hidden freckles were visible on her upper cheeks, and the genuine, simple joy in Sassi’s eyes made Astral’s heart do a flip.
This is her.
It was a jolt to Astral’s mind as he realized the significance of it. Somehow, he was getting a full glance as to who Sassi was outside the Silos. Not just the military mare, but who she was underneath it all. The inner pony that had nearly been killed by the toxic environment of this place.
The more he thought about it, perhaps Sassi hadn’t known that part of her had existed either. In either case, Astral couldn’t help but smile as she looked his way. The shy, gentle expression and look in her eyes was such a contrast to her usually determined and driven demeanor. Yet it was a pleasant one, the mare’s eyes swimming with emotion.
“I think I get it,” he ventured to say, gesturing to her with a surprisingly tender smile. “This is you? All of you, I mean? You look different.”
Sassi’s eyes widened in shock, the tears threatening to start up again. She could only nod, hesitation and caution flickering across her face.
Astral knew he had to tread carefully, but the stallion could only go with his heart. A caring smile was on his face as Astral held out his hoof. Sassi tentatively put her own up against it.
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Sassi,” he said, a lump in his throat making it surprisingly difficult to speak as he shook her hoof. “All of you, that is.”
Sassi looked torn between laughing and crying, simply shaking her head. Taking a few steps forward, she leaned into the offered hug with a soft laugh.
“What would I do without you, Astral,” she whispered.
Her words made him stiffen, the stallion then melting into her embrace. He must have done so rather obviously because Sassi was simply beaming as she hugged him.
After separating, Sassi looked at him curiously, the stallion’s ears twitching in thought.
“Bit for your thoughts?” he asked.
Sassi couldn’t stop herself. The warmth in her chest had overflowed. Nearly dousing the black flames of doubt that still threatened to overtake her mind. But for the moment she was happy.
She almost felt free.
“You never told me what changed. I’ll share if you will,” the mare said with a smile, one that lacked the usual curt, short length. This gesture spread across her whole face and made her cheeks hurt, the slight blush still making Sassi’s face warm. She loved it.
The stallion scuffed the ground, now clearly embarrassed. Sassi trotted over to sit next to him, half-facing Astral.
“I promise I won’t laugh,” she ventured to guess, Astral letting out a soft chuckle.
“I’d hope not, because it’s a good thing.”
“Oh?”
He gestured towards her, the stallion’s face now blushing more than Sassi’s. Adults or not, it was clear that more than a few feelings were bubbling close to the surface in both of their hearts. As tumultuous as it was, Sassi reveled in every second of it.
“It’s even more applicable now. Just…I’ve been too careful.”
Head tilting in curiosity, Sassi listened as Astral continued.
“When you said to be careful with physical gestures of any kind, I think I took that too far. I know I did,” he muttered. “What I mean is, I didn’t let myself think about you in certain ways, even if it logically made sense. Sure, I already had those feelings. I just shut it all down.”
“Feelings?” she squeaked, her voice hitching. The sound made Astral smile, the stallion nodding.
“We already know we want to go on dates. This being one. But I didn’t let myself think about things. How deep things run, I guess. Seeing that you care about me just pushed it all to the front.”
His eyes met hers, and Sassi felt her heart melt into her hooves. There was no fear, no uncertainty, or ill will in Astral’s gaze.
“I just never let myself realize how much I care about you, Sassi. That’s what changed. I finally let myself care, really think about it, and feel everything. You saving my life twice just made it so I can’t ignore it all. The hugs, wanting to be the close, I can’t ignore how that makes me feel.”
“Don’t ignore it.”
Sassi spoke even before the thought had fully formed, the mare not able to match Astral’s shocked gaze.
“But I just-I can’t change that quickly, Astral.”
“Which is why I-” he began before the mare cut him off.
“But I want to.”
He stayed quiet at that, only uttering a single, questioning word.
“So…?”
Sassi found burning, angry tears flare-up in her eyes. The doubt, the fear, and the pain threatened to tear away the precious feelings that were beginning to blossom.
It was so close, saying what she wanted. Seeing Astral’s gaze radiate concern and the stallion lift a hoof tentatively to comfort her, and then set it down made anger burn out the fear. In the end, she had to take the step.
One more step towards what I want.
And I want this.
“I want to know how you feel about me, Astral,” she finally said, “and I guess you don’t really know how I feel about you.”
He managed an awkward but adorable grin at that.
“Well, I have a general idea about your end. Hence why we’re having this discussion.”
Letting out a snort, Sassi turned to face Astral. Time slowed for a moment, the mare watching as his gaze darted to the tilted circlet on her forehead, and then to her eyes.
She nearly lost it again as Astral’s eyes visibly brightened. No glances to her flanks, nothing outside of looking at her and smiling. It was such a simple thing that had been missing from her life. Sassi just never realized how comforting such a gesture could be.
“If you could show me how you feel, what would you do?” she asked, a bit of caution in her gaze as she glanced at him. Astral promptly snorted, waving a hoof at her.
“I’m not about to sully our first kiss in a place like this if that’s what you’re wondering. Not that I’m opposed to such a thing in the slightest,” he added with a cheeky grin.
Stars above, Astral. This blush is going to never leave my face.
“Well, our previous idea of ‘see how things go’ seems to have taken a turn,” Sassi admitted. “So, I do want to know how you feel. If not now, then in the future.” The fear nearly choked her voice.
It’s been so long since I did something that I wanted. Even as simple as asking this.
“If it looks like I need a hug, or if you do, just give me one. Just as long as I see you first,” she said, shoulders and wings slumping. “Surprises are still not a good idea I think.”
Astral’s eyes widened, the stallion blinking in shock.
“Um…
Astral stared at Sassi, blinking dumbly for a few moments.
“Sorry. Did…just processing that,” he admitted. “That’s a big thing, right? Not asking before? A huge thing. You don’t have to do that Sassi, I get it.”
Nodding, Sassi couldn’t look at Astral, the blush on her cheeks flaring up.
“I want to try. That’s how much I care,” she nearly squeaked out the last sentence, a weight fleeing from her heart as she did so.
I’m just setting myself up for a bigger fall, one that I may not recover from.
I can’t keep letting myself feel-
“Alright,” Astral said softly, Sassi’s eyes leaving the grass and looking up to him. The stallion gently raised a hoof, resting it against her cheek.
She knew there was an initial twitch at his touch, her body simply reacting. Sassi saw the flicker of concern in Astral’s eyes, and it only made her feelings burn brighter. No judgment, only a caring look. He wasn’t concerned about what he wanted, only her.
His touch on her cheek made the mare almost start bawling. Nobody had ever done something like this. A simple, affectionate touch as she pressed against his forelimb, her own reaching up to pull it closer. No ulterior motives, no worries if there was a double meaning. The only experience she could draw on was when she was a filly and her dad gave her hugs, or read bedtime stories to her.
Astral’s forehead then gently bumped into her own, the stallion resting against the mare as he gently spread a wing over her shoulders.
“This is what I’d do,” he said softly.
No words were said for a time, Sassi simply enjoying the blissful warmth of Astral’s comforting touch. There wasn’t anything else except for him. No fear, no training, no orders.
Just Astral.
She didn’t want to say anything, simply enjoy this brief moment for as long as possible. A stray thought refused to be silent, and Sassi couldn’t help a soft chuckle.
“How did I not do this sooner,” she sighed.
“Well, your pool of prospects wasn’t the best,” Astral mused, Sassi then bursting out into laughter.
“I wasn’t talking about before I met you.”
The fact Sassi heard Astral audibly gulp nearly made her laugh again, the mare feeling the stallion heat up ever so slightly.
“We should do this more often,” she said firmly. The Thestral was a bit miffed as Astral pulled away, but the affection in his gaze made her pause. A shy blush flared up on Sassi’s cheeks even before he spoke. When he did so, the mare tried to hide behind what few bangs she had, the flutters in her chest making Sassi’s lips tremble. Astral said only three words, but they were enough. The meaning was rather similar after all.
“As you wish.”