As the last bastion hides, the armies ride,
The Crimson Khan’s return shall change the tides,
The Gods of Destruction bow to their king,
And great desolation they shall bring.
The final fight draws closer still,
The heroes fight against my will,
The Scarlet King’s hordes shall bring victory,
And by my red hand, they will die. Rupee. (excuse me what?) (I ran out of rhyming words)
Strykore wandered through a nearly empty place. A couple of cobweb-covered arcade cabinets lined the walls. He saw Pac-Man, Tic-Tac Eater, Space Invader, Time Conquerors, Donkey Kong, Mule King, Pong, Ping, and several more classics and rip-offs.
He passed a bar where six cans of Beijing Corn™ sat next to three cans of Shanghai Corn. He could practically feel the tension between the cans of corn.
He could faintly hear the sound of Megalovania in the back room. He passed a tiny replica of Hiroshima after the bomb, which he swore was just a pile of dirt and a collection of sticks. It wasn’t even close to accurate. The only way he could tell what it was was because of the sign that said “A Nuked City”. Granted, it could be Nagasaki.
He continued into a small hallway. It was surprisingly similar to the layout of Eggman’s base. Through a doorway, he saw Dr. Bright absolutely failing to fight Sans. As the red heart broke, Strykore quietly chuckled.
An orange blob of goo slid across the floor to comfort Dr. Bright. The moment SCP-999 crossed Strykore’s path, he trapped it in a red and black cage. Silently. No one noticed. He picked up the goo and tried to leave, but was blocked by NightFlame.
“You think you can just leave?”
“That's exactly what I'm doing.” Strykore attempted to move past NightFlame, but the smaller and younger NightFlame effortlessly swept the leg, sending Strykore to the ground and sending the cage across the floor.
“I’m gonna need everything you’ve gathered.” NightFlame placed his foot on Strykore’s chest.
“No.” Strykore summoned red and black ropes to restrain NightFlame. He slithered out from underneath NightFlame’s foot. Strykore picked up the cage from the floor.
As he tried to leave, The six cans of Beijing Corn and three cans of Shanghai Corn flew at him. A can of Beijing Corn and a can of Shanghai Corn collided in front of his face, causing an explosion that sent him flying backwards without the cage holding SCP-999. The ropes holding NightFlame vanished. He walked past the injured Strykore and grabbed SCP-999.
“Never mess with the corn,” NightFlame said, holding a can of Beijing Corn.
“Are you copying Steven He?”
“No.”
A man in a ski mask and a suit dropped down from the ceiling. He held his hand up near Strykore. “Slap my hand. Slap it now. Trust me, this is not a trick.”
Strykore moved his hand up to slap Spy’s hand, but before their hands even touched, Spy pulled a gun on Strykore.
“This was a trick.” Spy inched the gun closer to Strykore, touching it to his chin.
“You said to trust you.” Strykore grabbed Spy’s wrist.
“I am the least trustworthy person on the planet.” Spy pulled a knife out with his other hand, holding it to Strykore’s hand. Spy and Strykore fought for the gun and the knife, ending with both in Spy’s hands, but with Strykore’s hands lit up in magic. “This building isn't big enough for the both of us.”
“Why not build it bigger next time?” Strykore asked, foot to an arcade cabinet.
“The architect said as long as I didn’t introduce fifty characters in one story it would be fine,” NightFlame explained, holding SCP-999.
Spy backed up until he was standing side-by-side with NightFlame. Strykore held his two hands up, pointing them at both of his opponents.
A yellow blur surrounded by red lightning rushed through the room, stripping Spy down to his underwear, stealing his knife and gun, and taking SCP-999’s magical cage.
“What just happened?” Spy asked, standing with nothing but a pencil, a ski mask, and a pair of heart-print boxers.
“I am more confused than a homeless man under house arrest,” NightFlame said, not expression his confusion at all.
Reverse-Flash stood in the corner, holding a stabbed gun in one hand and a magical cage in the other. The hand holding the cage started sizzling. He dropped it onto the floor.
“Huh, wonder why that didn’t affect me,” NightFlame wondered, while wearing a full suit of plot armor. Reverse-Flash bent down to pick up the cage, but before his hand could make contact, a rainbow blur knocked him into a wall.
“Woah, I need to rewind that and play it in slow motion.” NightFlame pulled out a device with several small buttons and one big red button. He pressed the big red one, rewinding time.
Rainbow Dash flew into the arcade room from the hallway. Reverse-Flash bent down to pick up the cage. As the pegasus neared, Reverse-Flash turned to look at the approaching Rainbow Dash. He held up his hands to block the attack. Rainbow Dash whaled on him with a series of hoof strikes, each one blocked by Reverse-Flash. The yellow speedster tried again to pick up the cage, but as he did so, Rainbow Dash headbutted him. Reverse-Flash kicked Rainbow Dash off of him, sending her flying back into the hallway. However, this had the unintended effect of sending him into a wall.
“Well, that was interesting.” NightFlame put the device away.
“I almost lost to a pastel pony,” Reverse-Flash noted.
“Have fun thinking about that every night for the rest of your life.” NightFlame pulled a banana on Reverse-Flash, mushing the thing into the speedster’s stomach. “Whoops, that was supposed to be a knife.”
“Why did you have an unpeeled banana in your pocket?” Strykore asked.
“No clue. Anyway, bring the guy back when you’re done. Put everything back as well.” NightFlame turned around and walked away. Once he was gone, Spy desperately searched for a pair of pants.
Strykore and Reverse-Flash looked at each other for a moment. Reverse-Flash shrugged, then ran away with the gun, the knife, and Spy’s clothes.
Strykore walked over to pick up the cage. He opened a portal to leave. "Not so fast!" a voice from down the hall shouted. He was hit by a rainbow blur. They both fell into the portal.
Grogar, Cain, Satanic Cultist, the Pony of Shadows, the Storm King, and Magical Douchebag tried with all their might to keep reality in that room stable enough so that they could do things. The gathered SCP objects tried their best to help out. When they closed one rift, another one opened.
A portal opened behind SCP-682. Out tumbled Strykore, holding a red and black magical cage containing SCP-999. Rainbow Dash followed behind. Rainbow Dash hit Strykore in the face with her face. Strykore pushed the cage towards the last open spot. It slid across the floor, slowing down as it reached the center. With a little push from spare magic, the cage made it all the way.
The emotionless orange blob of goo seemed frightened. Strykore shoved Rainbow Dash off of himself and into the hallway. Reverse-Flash rushed behind and caught Rainbow Dash. The pegasus struggled and kicked as the yellow speedster restrained her.
Strykore took his place as the seventh magic wielder. He poured his own magic into the ritual, causing the symbols drawn on the ground to glow red. Energy poured out from all seven children.
“Wait a second, shouldn’t we be doing this in the SCP universe?” Cain wondered aloud.
“Oh shit, good point,” Satanic Cultist replied as the hand of the Scarlet King broke through the floor. All the rifts closed. A second hand soon joined the first. Soon, the Scarlet King rose in all of his eldritch glory.
As he looked around, he noticed something wrong. “I’m in the wrong universe,” he noted.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Satanic Cultist apologized. “I couldn’t rent a hotel room to do this in the universe you were supposed to be in.”
“You were planning to do this in a hotel?” Grogar slammed his hoof on the floor, which sent a floorboard flying into the ceiling, embedding itself next to a toothbrush.
“Due to the sheer amount of times you nincompoops have portalled between this universe and the one I seek to destroy, I can easily head there myself.”
“Well, would you look at that,” Satanic Cultist said, “looks like cutting corners actually worked!”
‘We nearly died,” Grogar pointed out.
“But we didn’t,” Satanic Cultist replied. Without anyone noticing, the Scarlet King vanished from the base and entered the SCP Universe.
“So what do we do about her?” Reverse-Flash asked, pointing to Rainbow Dash with his right foot. Grogar noticed a small metallic object nestled inside her ear. A bright light emitted from the object.
“There’s probably gonna be some sort of rescue operation. She doesn’t know where we are anyway.” Cain moved to inspect the metal object in her ear. “Probably should destroy this though.” He carefully fished it out while the pegasus tried to kick him. He held it in his hand, inspecting it. He then crushed it, sending metal scraps and circuits everywhere.
“Someone needs to clean that up,” said the Pony of Shadows. A small pure black slug inched its way into the room. It seemed to eat the metal scraps and circuits. “Oh, Death Slug’s on it.”
As they all contemplated what to do next, an explosion rocked the base. “I thought this was underground!” the Storm King screamed as he was tossed around.
“This is the United Nations Global Occult Coalition! Surrender now or face the consequences!” Grogar teleported everyone outside to the top of the base.
“Did Eggman seriously build a giant tower and expect no one to investigate?” Cain said.
They looked down to see a few thousand armed soldiers and a guy with a megaphone standing on top of a jeep.
“This is exactly what we have an army for,” Grogar said. Magic surrounded his horns as an army of wraiths and other apparitions rushed from the base out towards the Global Occult Coalition. However, the Coalition came prepared and slaughtered the undead.
“You were saying?” Cain mocked. After the apparitions came an army of robots marching out single file. A well placed rocket blew up the entire legion of robots, but they kept on coming.
“Hey, I know what we can do!” Satanic Cultist exclaimed. “Grogar, there’s an alternate version of you that utilized these bipedal pig creatures called ‘Troggles’. Do you think you can summon some?”
“I used to have troggles,” Grogar replied. “This will be a piece of cake.” Grogar used magic once more to create a portal on the ground. Ten bipedal pig creatures with large ears rose out of the portal.
“Meet my minions, John, Fred, Jeremy, Styx, Phillip, Billy, Karl, Joey, Bob, and Yamcha Jr.” Grogar gestured to each one as he said their names. John had a gun, Fred wore a trench coat and sported a pipe, Jeremy held an axe, Styx wielded an iron blade, Phillip had a knife, Billy had a club, Karl wielded a pair of scissors, Joey held a boomerang, Bob had a bazooka, and Yamcha Jr. had no equipment. “I actually revived several troggle foot soldiers a while back. I think Eggman was turning them into cyborgs.”
“When did you have time to do that?” Cain asked. “I’m pretty sure you were busy doing stuff.”
“Between chapters,” Grogar answered, as if he actually had time do do things between chapters.
As the last of the robots were blown up by the Global Occult Coalition, semi-robotic troggles rushed out to meet them. Bullets bounced off their skin. They all wielded a variety of weapons, some of which matched the weapons wielded by Grogar’s minions. The GOC soldiers shot at the Cyber-Troggles. The Cyber-Troggles easily defeated the GOC soldiers and smashed the jeep.
“So, now what?” the Pony of Shadows wondered. The GOC held their ground, still losing soldiers by the hundreds.
“I say we go straight for wherever the Spear thingy is,” Reverse-Flash suggested. “We bring a strike team of myself as leader, Grogar as magical support, Cain as other support, and Metal Sonic in case things go south.” The last group of GOC soldiers shot a rocket at some approaching Cyber-Troggles, but some sort of force field deflected it back on the soldiers, decimating what remained.
“We have no idea where it is,” Cain pointed out.
“The egg doctor guy can build us something to track it,” Reverse-Flash said. In a flash of red lightning, those who were chosen to retrieve the Spear of Destiny were whisked away. The Pony of Shadows teleported away to grab popcorn.
“Ahh, relaxation,” the Storm King said as explosions covered the battlefield. Bombers flew overhead, dropping all kinds of bombs. “This brings me back to the days I invaded Canterlot.”
The Pony of Shadows returned with several popcorn buckets. He gave each viewer a popcorn bucket. “You know the rules and so do I, sit back, relax, and say goodbye.”
NightFlame entered the back room as Dr. Bright continued his battle against Sans. It seemed during the chaos outside, he finally managed to get Sans to the point where he was tired. Soon, Sans had been defeated.
“Hey, bad news,” NightFlame said, interrupting Flowey killing Asgore. “They got away and they’re headed straight for your home dimension.”
“What, do you expect me to make some sort of final stand there?”
“If you don’t want to, I’ll bring a bunch of guys there right now.” NightFlame held up a picture. “This is a picture of their base, taken by Rainbow Dash.”
“So you want Iris to do something with that?”
“Everyone needs to do something.” NightFlame tossed the picture over his shoulder, where it landed on a small yellow rabbit plush. NightFlame turned around to leave, spotted the plush, and screamed. “Who the fuck let that thing exist?!”
“What are you- HOLY FUCK WHY IS THAT- HOW DID IT GET THERE?!”
“You will suffer the pain of a thousand deaths by my sword,” the rabbit telepathically spoke. NightFlame drew a knife on the wall with a sharpie. Dr. Bright picked up the controller and prepared to throw it. SCP-729-J rose above the ground, eyes glowing red. The walls cracked. NightFlame tore the drawn knife from the wall and threw it. Dr. Bright tossed the controller. Neither of their attacks did anything.
“You dare attack the most powerful being in existence?” SCP-729-J emitted a powerful blast that sent them flying backwards. The explosion blew up the back room and drew the attention of everyone in the base.
Dr. Kondraki charged SCP-729-J with a katana. The rabbit plush easily tossed him aside, then impaled him with a magical spike. Random objects around the room glowed red and flew towards the gathered fighters.
Spy sliced through the pineapple tossed at him with ease. He slipped outside, dodging the cans of Beijing Corn. He ran into the streets, jumping over cars.
The British man who guarded the door last chapter narrowly avoided having his head taken off by a flying teacup. The teacup had a foul odor, like someone took a shit in it. The teacup filled with several types of tea. “Must... have...” British crawled towards the teacup on the ground. Another British man, but gay, also crawled towards the cup. The two Brits converged on the cup, grabbing it simultaneously. The poop and tea within the cup rose out and formed water tentacles, wrapping around their necks.
A stereotypical Russian caught the bottle of vodka thrown at him. He stood back to back with Australian Drug Dealer.
SCP-729-J noticed a quiet man in the corner. ASMR quietly held up his middle finger. A flying knife took off ASMR’s entire hand surprisingly bloodlessly. ASMR grabbed the knife and threw it at SCP-729-J. The knife stopped right before slicing through the rabbit plush, turned around, and flew back at ASMR. The normal human grabbed the handle of the knife and tried to push it away from himself. The knife was far more powerful, and stabbed him. ASMR’s body faded into mist.
The last remaining wall of the back room was torn through by a seven foot tall humanoid creature with long arms. Its hands had countless fingers carelessly attached. Its hand grasped SCP-729-J. The rabbit plush exploded, forcing the creature to retreat.
“Мой Бог, что мы наделали?” the Russian quietly whispered. He chugged the vodka in his hand, ignoring everything. Australian Drug Dealer handed him some cocaine, but the now Drunk Russian chucked it at the creature.
SCP-729-J reformed from the stuffing and fabric scattered around. “You have chosen death.” It would have been absolutely terrifying if it wasn’t coming out of the non-existent mouth of a small yellow rabbit plush. SCP-729-J formed a sword with its adorable terrifying power. The sword sliced through the floor. Everyone ran for their lives.
The wall-busting finger-hoarding creature screeched. They rushed at each other, the building collapsing around them. NightFlame and Loomis slipped away while everyone else ran into the street.
NightFlame stopped in front of a door leaking clear sticky fluid. He placed his hand on the door where it said “Phil Swift Clone #17”. The door glowed blue for a moment, then slid open. Inside, a perfect clone of Phil Swift was huddled in the corner, sniffing what appeared to be a tube of Flex Glue Clear.
“Swift,” NightFlame said, interrupting Phil Swift #17’s drug Flex Glue Clear session, “we need you.
“I sNoRt fLeX gLuE eVeRy dAy AwW yEaH! CaN’t StOp mE nOw!” Phil Swift #17 got up, slowly unstuck his feet from the Flex Glue Clear covering the floor, and made his way out. He looked around, noticed all the destruction, and said, “Now that’s a lotta damage!”
“Yeah, and you’re gonna fix it,” Loomis commanded. “If we need you in the fight, we’ll tell you.” Phil Swift #17 moved at inhuman speeds, removing rubble, gluing things together, and fixing everything.
Soon, everyone regrouped at Site-██. The Scarlet King arrived not too long after. The first line of defense was easily broken by the hordes of demons brought by his terrible hand.
After the first battle, allies came from the most unexpected of places. The Global Occult Coalition fought side-by-side with the Chaos Insurgency. The Mekhanites and the Sarkites set aside their differences. The Serpent’s Hand poured out all across the world. The Shark Punching Center took a break from punching sharks to combat the new threat. Then, everything fell when the Scarlet King reached and unleashed the Devourer of Worlds.
Once the Devourer was unleashed and SCP-2000 destroyed, the evacuation began. Of the eight billion people and ten thousand SCP objects, two billion people were saved, and four thousand SCP objects. Two thousand SCP objects escaped on their own.
The Gate Guardian held its ground for three hours before it was overrun by the Scarlet King's forces. The Lunatic dueled a single soldier to a standstill before the Foundation forcefully evacuated it. MTF Pi-7 the Honor-Bound Knights led the evacuation. The Serpent's Hand led millions into the Wanderer's Library.
The Welt in the Crucible broke free from its blocky prison. The pattern screamers held out as long as they could, but their non-existence was cancelled out regardless. The Malfunctioning Destroyer was fired upon Earth to end the threat. The full force of the Three Moons Initiative came crashing down on the King. Sol and Sauelsuesor merged their power to fight the Scarlet King. None could do anything as the solar system fell.
It only took one month for the rest of the universe to die.
"Well, boys, we lost the battle." NightFlame plopped down in a beanbag chair in Loomis's office. Gathered in the office were himself, Loomis, Dr. Bright, Gay British, and the Seventeenth Phil Swift Clone. Loomis scribbled something into his notebook. British sipped some tea. Somehow, Phil Swift #17 managed to fix everything. There were still a few dead bodies scattered around, but that wouldn't matter for much longer.
"It's not over until it's over. We have a direct way into their base. We are in possession of the object they seek. We still hold all the cards." Loomis placed his pencil on the desk next to the cactus. "We know where they're headed, all we need to do is wait until they go for it. Then we raid their base, take what we can, and end this fight once and for all."
"Hmm. Quite the pickle we find ourselves in." Gay British sipped his tea again. "The Scarlet King chap was a diversion. Imagine how powerful the true threat must be if these blokes can use someone like that as a diversion." He looked into his teacup. "Something doesn't taste right about this. Someone get me another spot of tea!"
"I fear an old foe we put away long ago is preparing to rise." NightFlame held out his hand, as if he was expecting someone to hand him something. Loomis gave NightFlame his notebook and pencil. NightFlame scribbled battle plans. "Woodrow Wilson and some less extreme members of the CCP are willing to help us in the attack. The Commie Crushing Peoples, not the Chinese Communist Party. Important distinction."
"Wait, I just realised what's wrong with this tea!" Gay British exclaimed. "There's a load of dung in here! JARED!"
"Jared passed three years ago. You need to let go." NightFlame didn't even look up from what he was drawing in the notebook.
"My god it's poisoned!" Gay British clutched his chest. He fell over, cracking his skull.
"Well, we're gonna have to clean that up." Loomis glanced at Phil Swift #17. "That's your job. At least get rid of that."
"You may have seen a bucket, but you've never seen me fuck-"
"That's enough. Clean that up." Loomis glared at Phil Swift #17. Phil Swift #17 nodded, and swiftly whisked the body away to who knows where.
"We have some new recruits we could use to replenish those of us who died," NightFlame brought up. "I say we go and check that out." He handed the notebook back to Loomis. The notebook was filled with battle plans, strategies, and future events that could be used to their advantage.
Seven Seals,
Seven Rings,
Seven Thrones
For the Scarlet King
Water for the Old Gods,
Blood for the New King