//------------------------------//
// 11 - Too Low Res 
// Story: Return to Equestria 
// by David Silver 
//------------------------------//

Before they could get comfortable, or even try to ask for directions, a pegasus landed in front of them, a big smile on his face and a sharp suit worn. He had a name tag, but he was moving too quickly to get a good look at it. "Welcome! There you are." His eyes were on David. "Pony of the hour. This way this way." He was moving to nudge David along away from the others.

Which David was not having. "I'm not alone."

"Then they can come with us!" And off he went, assuming they would follow by the way he strode.

“Team Mongoose!” The doll flailed like a muppet.  “Can we call it team mongoose?  “If there's a vote, I vote we call it Team Mongoose!”

Joypad glanced aside at their small plush companion. "I don't… We're a team? Um." She hurried to keep up with David and the pegasus. "I didn't catch your name."

"I didn't throw it. Zing!" He seemed quite confident in his own humor. "Jet Stream, president of media and advertisement." He pointed to his name badge, but he wasn't facing them, so that wasn't especially useful.

“So you’re Zing?” Ragdoll happily wagged his head at the stallion, “I’m Charlie, here to purchase three arcade machines for the Bridlewood Tea House.  We are super curious about the source of your human lore… what with humans being a thing…”

“This wasn’t the plan,” Gloomy hissed at her passenger.  “I’m the one who does the talking!”

Zing, er, Jet Stream quirked an ear at the voices behind him. "I'm not in sales. I get ponies to want to buy our things. Actually selling them? Whole other department." He nodded, confident in his place in the grand machine of the building. "Now, you're named David, right? David the human. That lacks a certain punch… How about Howard the Human?"

"Pretty happy with the name I have, thanks." David kept up with the power-walking pegasus. "So you want me as a mascot?"

“You are in the department of washing toilettes if this deal goes south.” The doll made his most disparaging boneless arm waves.  “Name him something else one more time, I dare you.”

“Charlie, stop.”  Gloomy shut her one visible eye.

“One more time, call my friend a name he didn’t choose.”  The doll glared defiantly.

"Mascot's the wrong word." Jet Stream looked over at David as they came to an elevator. "You're could be, will be, I hope, the face of the brand!" He slapped the call button with a wing. "Evermarsh isn't the biggest series we have, but it's close. With an actual human here, it would become it in no time at all." His excitement made him more than a little resistant to the noises of others.

Joypad scooted between David and Jet. "So, at what point do you even ask how a human just… appeared out of nowhere?"

“They already knew.” Ragdoll wagged his face.  “This is where human technology comes from.  Pretty sure they know where we come from.”

If button eyes could narrow they would.

"Why he's here doesn't--" Jet looked David over again. "You are a human stallion, right?"

"Guydude," confirmed David. He didn't leave much to the imagination there, with a big beard and low voice, but what was obvious to a human was not a set of pony markers… "Actually that's a good question, where did all this technology come from?"

With a soft chime, the elevator arrived. "They were invented?" Jet proceeded into the elevator as other pegasi scurried to get out of it to other things. "Not my specialty. Our programmers work really hard to advance things, but, again, outside my wheelhouse. No, today, it's all about that face." He held up his hooves at David as if imagining it on a screen. "And how you can make us all a bit happier."

“Nope, nopity, nope nope,” the impassive smile and button eyes bore down on the poor stallion.  “Everything you said goes on the nope train.”

The doll tapped a foreboding drum beat one his unicorn's hat.

“We all want to do business, but answers are required,” A smile tugged at the mare’s mouth as she chanted, “It would be a shame, if Briddlewood’s interests were rewired…”

Jet Stream finally looked at Gloomy and her doll. "Did you need directions to sales? Good ponies, really." The elevator began to move under them, carrying them into the air. "Probably better equipped to answer your questions." The ones he wasn't paying a lot of attention to.

“You insulted our friend,”  The doll waggled his head sternly.  “You told him to call himself not his name… The words we were waiting for are ‘I am so very sorry’.  You just lost the Briddlewood account.  Sorry, Gloomy, we gotta go to Maretime to play Evermarsh… assuming he don’t screw that up, too…”

“They have fish there, right?” Gloomy asked casually.

Jet inclined his head with a blink. "Pardon?" He looked back to David. "Did I bother you?"

"So long as we're clear on my name." David shrugged softly. "So this is an advertising blitz then?"

Joypad nudged against David. "You're taking this really calmly."

A fresh ding, the elevator opened and Jet was already heading out, the offer to follow unspoken.

Charlie hopped off of Gloomy’s head… and face planted bonelessly on the elevator floor.

“I’m okay, I ragdolled!” The doll declared, jumping to his velvetine hooves.  Scrambling between the party and the corporate pegasi.  “One minute, Zing, we gotta have a Team Mongoose Meeting real quick.”

"Jet Stream," he calmly corrected before suddenly realizing that the doll itself was addressing him. "Hm."

“Oh, I know,” Ragdoll Waggled his head in quick nods, “I’m being derisive because I don’t like you.  25% of Team Mongoose actively dislikes you personally.  So you just wait there while we decide whether or not the most important deal of your life goes flank-side up.”

"I see potential," he sang out, clapping his hooves together. "What a special treat you are. Besides being human, you brought another interesting thing with you." He leaned in towards Charlie, suddenly focused on him. "Look at you! And you're not animated by the unicorn right there? Unicorn magic has novelty points, but those will wear off too quickly."

"I’m older than the oldest whorse you call a grandparent, colt.”  The doll rose to his full diminutive size.  “There are two humans here and they both know more of your history than you can even guess at, and little enough that it should scare you to soil the floor if you knew the half of it.  Or did you not even realize you’d called two of us?”

"And he talks funny," is what Jet took out of that. "Hil… wait, you're not a human." He raised a brow at the little doll. "No no, shaped all wrong. We can't use you for that…" He turned away, hoof at his chin with a frown. "That'd just confuse the brand! You have to be careful about that. Now, this way! There are some ponies desperate to meet you."

David casually prodded the top of the little doll. "You haven't changed, but seriously, stop attacking the pony. He's just doing his job, and offering us cash, neither of which are crimes where I'm from."

“You right.” the doll nodded at the man, then turned to the company pony.  “Just one word of truth before we walk in.  Is this some ‘happy accident’?”


"Which part?" Jet Stream looked over his shoulder at his guests who were not following properly. "We heard about him." He pointed at David. "And invited him. That you came was, I thought, his idea? They are yours?"

David raised his hands placatingly. "They're my friends."

"Good enough." Order restored in his world, Jet took another step, looking to see if he'd be followed properly.

“They were looking for you,”  Rag doll did his muppet grin at David.  “Not random humans.  Scooped me up on human rumors.  I’ma give odd’s either Sam’s running this show, or it’s all down to Trixie.  The Evermarsh thing is pretty obvious… Let’s see this…”

Joypad sidled up with Gloomy as they started forward. "Is he always so… prickly?" That she was referring to the doll was left unsaid.

"Now, I brought you to where some of our designers are working," continued Jet as if nothing odd had happened. "They make the magic!" His wings spread out wide with the statement. "And dream those dreams before they're made a reality for the playing, and paying, public!"

“Prickly?” the doll snorted, focusing his impassive eyes on the earth pony mare.  “I resent the obvious reference to Snoopy’s cousin.  Let's say hello to these nice ponies that called Team Mongoose together.”

“Nopony but you agreed to that,” Gloomy rolled her eyes.WEl

"Gonna assume that's a 'yes'." Joypad nodded, accelerating a little to beside Jet. "Hey, so I run a computer shop, where people play this game, and get together."

"Wonderful." Jet looked over at her as if trying to place her, but it did click. "The same place David lives at?"

David waved at his equine caretaker, or his boss, either way. "That's the place."

“And I just happen to be a former human transformed into a cursed jinx doll.” The doll nodded at Joypad, who seemed to be picking up what he was laying down.  “And the next words out of your mouth will define your career….”


Gloomy beat a tempo on the floor with her hooves, as she looked jet in the eye. “Which voice will lose will depend one which you chose, or maybe which voice you ignore.”  Her words echoing in the moment like a prophecy set loose on the breeze.
 
"It's him!" came a breathless female voice. Other pegasi were coming, each dressed as if they worked at a lab, though their mane styles were varied wildly as if showing their personalities through them. The one that spoke first was in front of David, grinning at him. "Wow! It's… Just like the model!"

"I knew they didn't have tails," noted a male pegasi, staring at bit intently at a human butt. "Take that!"

"Ha Ha," Another female. "I let it drop, didn't I? Now it's your turn."

The first began to clop her hooves wildly. "Can we see your walk cycle, please?"

"Well played, Zing.” Charlie twisted his set sewn smile into a grin.

David was content to show off his 'walk cycle' by taking a few pointed steps one way, then the other, though he staggered on the way back. "Oops."

Joypad was quick to offer a hoof. "Take it easy there, greymane."

"Oh!" The second female inclined her head. "Are you an older human?"

The male nodded, hoof at his chin. "Interesting!"

"Just a clumsy moment," assured David, waving off the concern. "All good."

“You old.  Own it.”  Ragdoll flogged bonelessly behind him.

The second female looked down at the doll, one ear quirked. "Did you say you were a human?"

"On a scale of one to ten." The male spread his hooves apart. "How much would you say your flat face impedes your breathing?"

"Zero?" David did not sound very sure on that. "Never had a not-flat face to compare against, but I can breathe just fine." He took a nice deep breath just to show off that fact.

“You didn't know?  I was 90% sure you knew?” Charlie asked the nice mare.  “But you do know we exist…”

“Make sure to get payment up front before they accidently turn you into a pony…” The doll whispered to David.


A loud stage whisper, to reach David's high-ears. Why were humans so tall?! "I don't think these nice ponies want to do that. If they don't have a human to show off, that ruins it."

"Completely," agreed the first female.

"Utterly," agreed the male.

"That would be a waste," signed the second female, still in front of Charlie the doll. "Like you. We can't use you as a human, because you aren't anymore… That's unfortunate."

“Then you are in agreement that the shape of a thing defines it.” Gloomy stated with all the passion of a pony who just saw that the salad bar was out of spinach.

The first female inclined her head. "When you're talking about an advertisement…  yes?" The others all nodded with her, Jet included.