//------------------------------// // 3. Clothes Shopping // Story: Pinkie Pie takes Earth // by Goldstar //------------------------------// Heather set in the front seat of the truck while her father drove her and Pinkie to a clothing store. “I don’t care about I Spy Pinkie! I’m trying to enjoy time on my Switch here!” Heather said, annoyed. “Ahh... but, you’ll never guess what green object I spotted.” “Grass.” “Wow, right again, you’re so good at this game.” “I know, too good to be playing still.” “Maybe I just need to pick something really hard!” “No, I’m done playing. Come on, we’re nearly there anyway, just have some patience.” “But I have a really good one this time!” “What is it?” “I spy something white.” “Clouds?” “You’re too good at this!” Thankfully for Heather, they arrived at the store before Pinkie could say anything else. “Alright ladies, I’ll let you two have some alone time so Heather can help Pinkie pick out some clothes. When you’re ready, gimme a call.” Logan explained. “You got it sir, crystal clear!” Pinkie replied. “Also, Pinkie,” Heather started, “We’re in public now. How you act is going to reflect on us. So please, no silly stuff or I’ll probably be embarrassed to be seen with you.” “It can’t be that bad, right? Ponies don’t mind my actions.” “This isn’t Ponyville with ponies. Human begins are probably not as opened to that kind of stuff, I’m sure not.” Once inside, Logan left to go shopping at a nearby store. Heather pulled out a shopping cart. Pinkie saw it. “Ohh! That looks like fun!” She separated Heather from the cart and then rode it. “Wheee!” “Pinkie, no! Only children do that, although you seem to be a child at heart despite being older than me.” Heather face palmed. As if this day couldn’t be any longer already. She thought. Pinkie was getting attention and she seemed to be loving it. Can I go into the mountains away from society forever? “You done yet Pinkie? We’re supposed to be picking out some clothes for you.” “I don’t know why you’re so grumpy about this, this is fun!” “But... you know what? Never mind. Just follow me over here so we can get you stuff to wear.” Pinkie settled down enough to stop riding the cart while Heather took control of it again. Over in the women’s clothes, Pinkie put in the cart, numerous skirts, shorts, and t-shirts, all brightly colored. “Pinkie! It’s the middle of winter! These are spring and summer clothes, you’ll get cold outside.” “But these look so great!” “You realize us humans don’t have fur, right? I’m trying to stop you from picking out something you’re then going to complain is impractical once the temperature really goes down. We have somewhat over a month before spring is here. Hopefully you’ll be home by then, but in the event you’re still stuck here, then we can pick out these clothes. “So, let’s get some practical clothes. Sweaters, full length pants, that kind of thing.” A few minutes later, the ladies picked out some clothes. “Ohh, I really like this sweater!” Pinkie held out. It contained a picture of Unikitty. “Of course. You know, you two would probably get along very well.” “Can I meet her?” ‘No, she’s a fictional character.” “Ahh...” “Surely you have those back home.” “Well, many of them turned out real like Daring Do.” “Unikitty is from the Lego Movie. Lego is a really popular toy line in which you have building blocks to create all sorts of things. I don’t care for them so much, I rather build stuff in video games. “Alright, looks like there’s enough clothes to try on. We need to make sure they fit you, of course.” Pinkie began to lift her shirt up before Heather stopped her. “Wait, no! We don’t do that here!” “Why not?” “Because we’re humans. You may be used to bouncing naked around Equestria, but us humans really don’t like seeing exposed skin except in certain places. Look, it’s complex, okay? Just make sure you’re always wearing clothes out in public. There is a changing room nearby you can use to change clothes in private. No one will make a fuss and we can be on our way.” “Okey dokey lokey!” Heather pulled out her cellphone while waiting. Although by the time she got it out of her pocket, Pinkie was already out of the door in a sweater and pants she picked out. “How’s this?” “How did you change clothes so fast?” “Talent.” “Okay then. Well, at least that means we can be done here that much quicker. So, the clothes do fit. Let’s make sure the others do.” A few minutes later of Pinkie trying out the clothes she picked out, Heather directed Pinkie to the pajamas section. “Us humans have multiple clothes for different reasons. We have pajamas meant to be wore at night. I don’t know why we do it. Cultural thing, I guess. But remember, it’s still winter, so pick something to mostly cover you and keep you warm.” Among the selection of pajamas, Pinkie picked out onesies that featured licensed character designs. “I would say onesies are normally for kids, but, you’re you and these are big enough to fit you. Okay, back to the dressing room.” As before, Pinkie was very quick in changing her outfits for Heather to see. “Alright, we’re almost done here. We need to get you undergarments like socks and... let’s just get this over with, please, I’m embarrassed enough as it is already.” The last remaining shopping only lasted another few minutes. The ladies went to check out and Heather used the money that her dad loaned her for Pinkie’s shopping. “I’m going to give dad a call.” “LOGAN!” Pinkie shouted out loud. This drew the attention of everyone nearby, causing Heather to look really embarrassed and annoyed. Nearly everyone nearby looked at Pinkie. “We don’t use our outdoor voices inside.” Heather told Pinkie, “Hey, err... guys, nothing to see here, let’s just move it along. She’s... from out of town, different mannerisms.” “But you needed to call dad, right?” “Yeah, but not like that.” Heather pulled out her cellphone. “I use this to call him.” “What’s that?” “It’s a cellphone. Right, you probably don’t have something like this back home do you?” “Nopes.” “Come to think of it, what is your level of technology? Medieval? Oh yeah, you might not have a frame of reference for that. Tell me, what is your law enforcement like?” “We have Royal Guards.” “And what are they armed with?” “Spears and metal armor.” “So, I guess it is Medieval level then, although you mentioned trains that are not pony pulled earlier. What else do you have for technology?” “Dams, hazmat suits, arcade machines, chainsaws, x-rays, helicopters, bass cannons, and telescopes, just to name a few.“ “Okay. So, TVs or computers?” “Nay.” “And yet arcade machines. Wow, sounds like the technology in Equestria is just all over the place compared to Earth. No clear human era to fit it into. Anyway, phones are used to call people form long distances. You don’t have to be in the same room as them. You dial them up on a phone and you can talk to them from even halfway across the world.” “Oh, that sounds so cool! So, you don’t have to shout really loud to hear each other?” “Nope. Anyway, I’m about to call my dad and let him know to come pick us up.” Heather managed to do that simply enough. Then the ladies headed to the store entrance and met Logan there. They all got in the truck and Logan began driving back. “So, how was the shopping experience Heather?” “Annoying. Pinkie rode on the cart, tried to change clothes in the middle of the store, and shouted your name out trying to call you.” “Give it some time, she really needs to adjust to human society.” “I’m not sure if I have the patience for that.” “You’ll like me, yes you will!” Pinkie stated. “Just shoot me!” “Why? That would really hurt.” “A figure of speech. I’m annoyed. Oh look, it’s too dark to play I Spy. I’m just going to pass the time playing on my Switch, okay?” “Oh, that thing that makes noises and has moving pictures?” “Well, if you have arcade machines back home, then you’re probably not completely unfamiliar with this.” “But none that are portable.” “It’s a video game system from Nintendo. They made several in the past, but this is their latest one. It’s unique in that you can not only play it like a handheld out on the road, but also hook it up to a TV to play like a console game.” “I’m not sure what all that means, but that sure sounds fancy.” “It really is. I guess I would have to show you some games on it sometime.” “Yay!” “But I just want some peace on the way home. Talk to dad if you must.” Pinkie seemed distracted by the lights around the city during the drive back, being mostly quiet during the ride. Once back home, Logan turned toward the ladies. “I’ll get the guest room ready for Pinkie to sleep in. Heather, after you’re done showering, help Pinkie get ready for the night.” “Alright dad. Well, come on Pinkie, let’s get this over with. I have school tomorrow since tonight is just Tuesday. I assume you have some kind of education system like us humans do in which pony children go to school for much of their childhood.” “Yeah. In Ponyville, there’s the elementary school that the foals go to. I only ever saw a single classroom with a single teacher, Miss Cheerilee.” “That sounds even more like a cartoon thing. Okay, I’m going into the bathroom. Please try not to touch anything you don’t understand.” “Sure thing Heather!” After Heather was out of the shower and into her pajamas, she found Pinkie waiting. “Please tell me you know how to use a bath or shower? I don’t know how much you ponies lived like humans back in Equestria.” “Of course. I wouldn’t want to be Stinkie Pie.” “Thank goodness for small stuff. Do all your clothes changing in the bathroom. Bring a towel in too.” After barely blinking, Heather saw Pinkie rush into the bathroom. The shower started to run and Pinkie was singing. How can I possibly live with this girl? Although she’s supposedly an adult, does she even live on her own in Equestria? I’ll ask her. In fact, I have a bunch of questions. Why couldn’t this all be a very lucid dream? Is she singing about friendship in there? Is it too late to get mom to let me move in with her? Minutes later, Pinkie was out of the bathroom. “Hi Heather, what do you have for nighttime snacks?” “Chips, ice cream, cookies, and some other stuff. Do tell me you can eat that stuff.” “Of course, that’s most of my diet.” “The human body needs actual food to survive. Maybe your pony body can survive just on junk food. But since this is just snack time, it’s fine. But I really don’t want to have to act as a caretaker, okay? Let’s pick something out from the kitchen.” Heather decided to get crackers with a big marshmallow in the middle. Pinkie reached into the cookie jar and ate a few within a couple of seconds. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to your rapid eating speed. I think it’s pretty clear that even if the stuff about Equestria was made up, you’re no normal human. There’s some time left before my bedtime, let’s go to my TV.” “Before you know it, you’ll warm up to me, and Luna, and other people. I can’t bear to see you miserable.” “I don’t need saviors in my life. Anyway, let’s watch TV.” Pinkie’s jaw dropped when she saw the TV. She even tried reaching inside. “They’re not literally in the box, just like the arcade machines you have back home. There’s a whole bunch we can watch on there. Sitcoms, sports, news, politics, please have no interest in that, cartoons, movies, and a lot more. We don’t have time for a full movie, I have about half an hour before bed. “I have so many questions I want to ask you, but I’m a bit tired to really process those. Although I’ll be surprised if you can sit in one place long enough.” “Humans can sit in front of a screen for a long time?” “Yeah. In fact, there’s plenty of people who can basically sit in front of a screen all day long, like being on the computer.” “That’s impressive. But I have too much energy to stay in one place for too long.” “Of course. Here’s a rare sight, the original Teen Titans cartoon. I don’t have too much more to say, so just watch.” A few minutes into the cartoon, Pinkie really noticed one of the main characters’ voices. “That Raven sounds really similar to Twilight.” “Really?” “But Twilight sounds more upbeat, but I could totally imagine Twilight sounding like her.” “I guess there’s only so many voices out there, even among magical talking animals. Looking up this show’s voice actors, Raven is voiced by Tara Strong. She voiced a lot of characters. Your other friends probably sound like Earth celebrities, but I don’t think we can tell who till you hear them. In fact, I bet if your other five best friends were voiced for a cartoon based on their lives, there might be a voice actress or two who voices two of the main characters.” “I could easily pull off a Fluttershy impression.” Pinkie’s hair suddenly shaped into Fluttershy’s mane. “Hi, I’m Fluttershy and I’m the Element of Kindness.” Pinkie said in a more upbeat Fluttershy voice. Then her hair bounced back to its normal shape. “Okay...” “And I think Rainbow Dash and Applejack could totally sound close to each other if they tried too.” “What about Twilight and Rarity?” “Nah, they sound different enough that both would have trouble sounding like the other without a magical voice change.” “Come to think of it, I guess this doesn’t really prove much at all aside from your vocal cords being like humans. There’s probably a celebrity I sound very close to as well, but that doesn’t mean I’m a cartoon character. “Anyway, look at the time. I’m about to get some shut eye. Dad will get you into your guest room bed. Goodnight Pinkie.” “Goodnight Heather, sweet dreams full of pudding and cupcakes!” Pinkie cartwheeled out of the room. Logan directed Pinkie to her bed in the guest room and minutes later, Pinkie fell asleep. Heather was taking awhile to sleep and meanwhile, she heard Pinkie snoring. How could anyone befriend such an annoying pony, I mean person, I mean... someone? As much as I don’t like school, at least it’ll be an escape from her. No one will know about her there and I have no reason to bring it up. If her story about a teleporter going haywire is true, then surely those at her home are working on getting her back? Hurry up, I already have a big enough annoyance in my life with Luna. At least the dog is completely believable unlike how my life is suddenly becoming a fantasy. But Pinkie has been really nice to me.