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// Pony Pinochle 
// Story: Half-Blooded Harmony: The Lightning Thief 
// by SonicSpeedster97 
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Twilight had no idea what was happening; she phased in and out of consciousness and what she saw made no sense; unusual forms feeding her and her friends a strange pudding that tasted like buttered popcorn, a tall man with eyes all over his face (and presumably the entire rest of his body), and when she finally woke up, she rubbed her face… and was surprised to find a small bandage wrapped around her left hand. She looked and saw the other girls waking up and examining their own bandages.
Spike was sleeping in a dog-bed next to Twilight’s deck-chair on a large porch, with Percy and the others at her sides. “Ugh. What happened?” she asked as she sat up in her cot.
“I don’t know, but I think I’m good on headaches for the next month.” Rainbow remarked.
“Never mind that, what’re these bandages for?” asked Applejack as she unwrapped hers… finding a small, shallow cut on her palm. “What’n the…?”
“What is the meaning of this?” Rarity asked seriously as she looked at her own cut.
Pinkie’s eyes locked onto something else entirely; each of them had a tall glass of what looked like iced apple juice with bendy straws and tiny cocktail umbrellas stuck through maraschino cherries. “If this is a dream, no one wake me up.” Pinkie assured.
Percy didn’t seem so sure as he woke up weakly, carefully reaching for his glass with a weak hand that almost dropped the glass. “Careful.” The girls all reacted to that voice near them, and saw Grover – now wearing pants and shoes – leaning against the porch railing, looking as if he hadn’t slept for a week. He had a shoebox under his free arm and wearing an orange t-shirt with a black Pegasus emblazoned on it and text that read “Camp Half-Blood”.
Twilight could immediately see Percy’s face brightening, as if he’d figured everything that had happened was a bad dream. And to be perfectly honest, she was hoping for the same thing to be true. Unfortunately… “You saved my life.” Grover told them. “I… Well, the least I could do… I went back to the hill. I thought you might want this.” He placed the shoe-box reverently on Percy’s lap.
He opened it and there inside it, jagged from the break on one end and splattered with dried blood on the other, was the horn of the beast Percy had just slain. “The Minotaur.” he said.
“Um, Percy, it isn’t a good idea-”
“That’s what they call him in the Greek myths, isn’t it?” Percy demanded. “The Minotaur. Half-man, half-bull.”
“That’s definitely what it was.” Rainbow agreed. “Now what’s with these cuts on our hands?”
Grover was shifting uncomfortably as he tried to find the right words. “You’ve been out cold for two days. What’s the last thing you remember?”
Two days? Had they really been asleep that long? “My mom. Is she really…” Grover lowered his head at Percy’s question.
The girls were stunned to hear this news as they stared out across the meadow; groves of trees, a winding river, acres of strawberries, surrounded by rolling hills with the highest one standing alone with a single pine tree standing sentinel. But even its beauty couldn’t compare to the heartbreak Percy felt. “I’m sorry.” Grover sniffled. “I’m a failure. I’m- I’m the worst satyr in the world.” He stomped on the ground and his shoe came off, revealing it to be full of Styrofoam with a hoof-shaped hole in the bottom. “Oh Styx.”
“Okay, this is getting weird, even by our standards.” Rainbow remarked to her friends.
Percy was still looking at Grover’s sniffling. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yes, it was. I was supposed to protect you.”
“Did my mother ask you to protect me?”
“No. But that’s my job. I’m a keeper. At least… I was.”
“But why- Agh!” Percy groaned, his vision swimming.
“Don’t strain yourself.” Grover assured as he helped Percy hold his glass. “Here; drink.”
“I was wondering when you’d get to that.” Rainbow shrugged as she and the girls grabbed their glasses, each taking long drags on their straws. They each recoiled at the taste for a moment, because it wasn’t at all what they were expecting; it tasted different for each of them. Only Applejack tasted apple juice, but Twilight tasted fresh cranberries, Pinkie tasted the Cakes’ famous Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness cake, Fluttershy tasted clear spring water with a twinge of wild sage, Rainbow tasted the Apple Family’s famed cider, Rarity tasted some sort of mix of her favorite afternoon tea and scones from Canterlot, and Percy tasted his mother’s homemade chocolate-chip cookies.
Whatever this drink was, it filled each and every one of them with warmth, and vim and vigor. Before they knew it, their glasses were empty and the ice hadn’t even melted. “Was it good?”
“I’ve never tasted anything that felt like a physical hug before.” Twilight noted.
“What did it taste like?” Grover asked, sounding almost wistful.
“Oh, I’m sorry.” Fluttershy said in guilt. “We should’ve saved some for you.”
“No! That’s not what I meant.” Grover’s eyes went wide at this suggestion. “I just… wondered.” The group shared their answers and Grover sighed. “And how do you feel?”
“Like I could throw Nancy Bobofit a hundred yards.” Percy smirked.
“That’s good. That’s very good.” Grover nodded. “I don’t think you could risk drinking any more of that stuff.”
“Wait, what do you mean by that?” Rainbow asked as Grover took each of their glasses and gingerly set them back down like dynamite.
“Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting.” he told the group, leading them around the farmhouse’s wrap-around porch.
“Who?” asked Twilight, weak on her legs as they walked. Grover had offered to carry Percy’s Minotaur horn, but he wasn’t about to let his souvenir go after what he went through to get it. And when they reached the front of the house, the group froze; the view was absolutely breathtaking as the valley extended all the way to a waterfront, with the landscape dotted with buildings resembling ancient Greek architecture – an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena – except they all looked brand new, sparkling white columns with kids and satyrs all wearing the same shirt as Grover running around and playing, shooting bows and arrows and riding… Pegasi?
At the end of the porch, two men sat across from each other at a card table with the blonde girl from earlier leaning on the railing next to them. The guy facing them was small but porky with a red nose, big watery eyes, and hair so dark black, it almost reflected purple in the light. He was wearing a tiger-pattern Hawaiian shirt and almost looked like he would’ve fit in perfectly at one of Gabe’s poker parties… and could’ve easily swindled Gabe out of all his money and gotten off scot-free. “That’s Mr. D.” Grover whispered to the group. “He’s the camp director, so be polite. The girl there is Annabeth Chase; just another camper, but she’s been here probably longer than any of the rest of us. And you already know Chiron.”
“We do?” Rainbow asked as she looked at the other guy, only to find that indeed they did know him; first they saw the familiar wheelchair, then the old tweed jacket, thinning brown hair and beard. “Whoa. Mr. Brunner?”
And sure enough, it was the Latin teacher from Yancy, with the old mischievous glint in his eyes he always got when he made the answer to every question on a multiple-choice quiz B.
“Ah, good, Percy. Girls, wonderful to see you as well.” he smiled. “Now we have enough for a good few games of pinochle.” He offered Percy a chair to Mr. D’s right, who looked at him and the girls with bloodshot eyes and offered a weary sigh.
“Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. There. Now, don’t expect me to be glad to see you.” he remarked.
“No offense, but you don’t look like you’d be glad to see your grandma.” Rainbow remarked, disregarding the angry glare the camp director was giving her.
“As tactful as ever, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity remarked.
“Annabeth?” Mr. Brunner called the young blonde girl over to Percy’s side. “This young lady helped nurse you all back to health, kids. Annabeth, my dear, why don’t you go check on their bunks? We’ll be putting them in Cabin 11 for now.”
“Sure, Chiron.” she replied and looked down at Percy in his seat. She looked about his age, maybe a little bit taller and a little more athletic-seeming than Rainbow Dash. Her deep tan and curly blonde hair didn’t make her stand out too much – no, that was the job of her dark gray eyes; they almost looked like storm clouds, pretty but intimidating, like she was analyzing the best ways to take them all down.
She glanced down at the Minotaur horn in his hands and then back up to his face. “You drool when you sleep.” That was all she said before she vaulted over the railing and sprinted across the lawn, her hair flapping behind her.
“O… kay…?” Rainbow remarked in confusion.
“So…” Percy seemed about as eager to change the topic as the others. “You, uh, work here, Mr. Brunner?”
“Not Mr. Brunner.” he countered, confusing the new arrivals. “I’m afraid that was a pseudonym. You may call me Chiron.”
“Okay.” Rainbow remarked, and glanced at Mr. D. “How about you? Does that D stand for anything?”
Mr. D stopped shuffling the cards and glared at her like she just let out a violent belch. “Names are powerful things, young lady. You don’t just go around usin’ them for no reason.”
“Is that why Grover didn’t want us using the name for the… you-know-what?” Twilight asked as she pointed at the Minotaur horn in Percy’s lap.
“Bingo.” Mr. D nodded.
“I must say Percy, I’m glad to see you alive.” Chiron-Brunner broke in. “It’s been a long time since I’ve made a house call to a potential camper, and ended up finding six others in the process. I’d hate to think I’ve wasted my time.”
“Wait, house-call? You mean your time at Yancy?” asked Twilight.
“We have satyrs in most schools, of course, keeping a lookout.” he replied. “But Grover alerted me as soon as he met Percy. He sensed he was something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the other Latin teacher to… ah, take a leave of absence.”
Percy seemed to be straining himself to remember whichever Latin teacher there was at Yancy before Mr. Brunner appeared. “You came to Yancy just to teach me?”
“Honestly I wasn’t sure about you at first.” Chiron shrugged. “We contacted your mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for Camp Half-Blood. But you still had so much to learn. Nevertheless, you made it here alive, and that’s always the first test.” He glanced back at the girls. “As for you lot… well, you were enigmas. Frankly we weren’t sure you were right for this place until we ran the physical checks.”
“Physical checks?” Fluttershy and Rarity blushed bright red, as if their personal space had been violated. Which in a way it had been, but they wouldn’t get to that until later.
“Grover, you playin’ or not?” Mr. D asked impatiently.
“Yes sir.” Grover trembled as he sat across from Percy. None of the group knew why Grover would be afraid of him; he just looked like any other pudgy little man in a Hawaiian shirt.
“You do know how to play pinochle?” Mr. D asked Percy.
“I’m afraid not.” Percy shrugged.
“I’m afraid not, sir.” he returned.
“Sir.” Percy repeated, starting to like this guy less and less.
“Well,” he said. “it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young people in this day and age to know the rules.”
“I’m sure the boy can learn.” Chiron assured.
“I’m sorry; can we get back to what we were talking about?” Rainbow said seriously as she stepped in. “Mr. Brunner, Chiron, whatever you wanna be called; what is this place? Why are we here? Why did you come to Yancy just to teach Percy? And what happened to our hands?!”
“Believe me; I asked the same question when we heard about this kid.” Mr. D snorted, tipping his head at Percy.
“I’m not talking to you, pal.” Rainbow scowled as the director dealt the cards.
Chiron smiled at Percy in sympathy. “Percy, did your mother tell you nothing?”
“She said…” Percy said, remembering her sad eyes. “She told me she was afraid to send me here, even though my father had wanted her to. She said that once I was here, I probably couldn’t leave. She wanted to keep me close to her.”
“Typical.” Mr. D remarked. “That’s how they usually get killed. Young man, are you bidding or not?”
“What?” Percy asked, resulting in Mr. D explaining impatiently how to bid in pinochle, so he did.
“I’m afraid there’s too much to tell.” Chiron explained. “Our usual orientation film won’t be sufficient.”
“You guys have an orientation video?” asked Rainbow.
“Yes, but it won’t be enough.” Chiron remarked. “No. Well, Percy. You know your friend Grover is a satyr. You know that you have killed the Minotaur with your bare hands. No small feat either, lad. What you may not know is that great powers are at work in your life. Gods – the forces you call the Greek gods – are very much alive.”
Percy was stunned, as if waiting for someone to tell him it was a prank, but all he got was “Oh, a royal marriage. Trick! Trick!” He cackled as he tallied his points.
“Mr. D, if you’re not going to eat it, could I have your Diet Coke can?” Grover asked timidly.
“Eh? Oh, alright.” Mr. D remarked as he slid Grover the empty can, which he bit a huge shard of aluminum out of and chewed it mournfully, much to the shock of the others.
“Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait, lemme get this straight; you’re telling us there’s such a thing as God?” asked Rainbow.
“Well now, God – capital G, God. That’s a different matter entirely.” Chiron assured. “We shan’t deal in the metaphysical.”
“No offense, but that’s fairly rich coming from someone talking about-” Twilight remarked.
“Ah, gods, plural, as in, great beings that control the forces of nature and human endeavors: the immortal gods of Olympus. That’s a smaller matter.” Chiron interrupted.
“Smaller?” asked Percy.
“Yes, quite. The gods we discussed in Latin class.”
“Zeus. Hera. Apollo. You mean them.” Percy remarked… as thunder clapped in the distance of the cloudless sky.
“Young man, I would really be less casual about throwing those names around, if I were you.” Mr. D remarked.
“But they’re just stories.” Percy remarked. “They’re… myths, to explain lightning and the seasons and stuff. That’s what people believed before there was science.”
“Science!” Mr. D scoffed. “And tell me, Perseus Jackson-” Percy flinched as the girls looked at him in confusion; his full first name was Perseus? “-what will people think of your ‘science’ two thousand years from now? Hmm? They will call it primitive mumbo-jumbo, that’s what. Oh, I love you mortals – you have absolutely no sense of perspective. You think you’ve come soooo far. And have they, Chiron? Look at these kids and tell me.”
“Mortals? Then who’re you supposed to be?” asked Applejack. Mr. D didn’t dignify her with an answer as a lump formed in her throat.
“Percy, girls, you may choose to believe or not, but the fact of the matter is that immortal means immortal. Can you imagine that for a moment, never dying? Never fading? Existing, just as you are, for all time?”
Rainbow let out a sharp breath as if it was remarkably heavy. “That’s a lot to process all at once on a Monday.” she said. “You mean, whether people believe in you or not?”
“Exactly.” Chiron nodded. “If you were a god, how would you like being called a myth, an old story to explain lightning?” He looked back at Percy. “What if I told you, Perseus Jackson, that someday people would call you a myth, just created to explain how little boys can get over losing their mothers?”
The girls could practically hear Percy’s heart pounding. It was almost like Chiron was trying to get him angry. “I wouldn’t like it. But I don’t believe in gods.”
“Oh, you’d better.” Mr. D murmured. “Before one of them incinerates you.”
“P-Please sir, he’s just lost his mother. He’s in shock.” Grover said in fear.
“A lucky thing, too.” Mr. D grumbled as he played a card. “Bad enough I’m confined to this miserable job, workin’ with kids who don’t even believe!” He waved his hand and a goblet suddenly appeared on the table, like it had been shaped out of the sunlight before it automatically filled with red wine right before their eyes.
“What the-?” Twilight started to say.
“Mr. D, your restrictions.” Chiron reminded, not even looking up.
“Dear me.” Mr. D noted, feigning surprise as he looked up at the sky. “Old habits! Sorry!” More thunder rumbled as Mr. D waved his hand again, turning the glass into a fresh can of Diet Coke, which he unhappily opened as he went back to his game.
Chiron winked at Percy and the girls. “Mr. D offended his father a while back; took a fancy to a wood-nymph who had been declared off-limits.”
“A wood-nymph.” Percy repeated, still looking at the can like it was from space.
“Yes, Father loves to punish me.” Mr. D remarked. “The first time, prohibition. Ghastly; absolutely horrid ten years! The second time… well, she really was pretty, and I couldn’t stay away. The second time, he sent me here. Half-Blood Hill. Summer camp for brats like you. ‘Be a better influence’, he told me. ‘Work with youths rather than tearing them down’. Ha! Absolutely unfair.”
“And… your father is…?” Percy stammered.
“Di immortales, Chiron; I thought you taught this boy the basics.” Mr. D scowled. “My father is Zeus, of course.”
The girls were surprised; this guy was one of Zeus’ kids? They ran through all the Ds they knew from Greek mythology. “Wait a minute; wine, tiger-skin, the satyrs…” Twilight muttered until she realized it and snapped her fingers. “You’re Dionysus; the god of wine.”
Mr. D rolled his eyes over to Grover. “What do they say these days, Grover? Is it ‘well, duh’?”
“Y-Yes sir.”
“Then well, duh, Twilight Sparkle! Who’d you think I was; Aphrodite, perhaps?” he asked.
“With a face like that? No way.” Rainbow muttered.
Percy was still in shock at this revelation. “You’re a god.”
“Yes, child.”
“A god. You.”
He sounded to be in about as much disbelief as Rainbow, as the god looked at the group straight on, a strange purple fire burning in his eyes like he was showing them a glimpse of his true power. And what they saw was horrifying; grape vines choking nonbelievers to death, drunken warriors mad with battle lust, sailors screaming as they turned into dolphins. “Would you like to test me, children?”
“No-no-no-no; we’re good, we’re good!” Rainbow yelled as the visions faded and the fire in his eyes died. “Whew. Remind me never to make you angry.”
“I just did.” he returned simply as he laid out his cards. “And I believe I win.”
“Not quite, Mr. D.” Chiron noted as he laid out a straight and tallied the points. “The game goes to me.”
Twilight was terrified Mr. D would vaporize him right out of his wheelchair, but the god just gave a weary sigh through his nose, like he was used to losing to the Latin teacher as he got up with Grover. “I’m tired.” he noted. “I believe I’ll take a nap before the sing-along tonight. But first, Grover, we need to talk, again, about your less-than-perfect performance on this assignment.”
Grover’s face beaded with sweat. “Y-yes sir.”
Mr. D turned back to the group, who recoiled in fear under his gaze now. “Cabin 11, kiddies. And mind your manners.” He swept into the farmhouse as Grover followed him miserably.
“Will Grover be okay?” Percy asked Chiron.
The teacher nodded, though he did look a bit troubled. “Old Dionysus isn’t really mad. He just hates his job here. He’s been… ah, grounded, I guess you could say. And he can’t stand waiting another century before he’s allowed to go back to Olympus.”
“Mount Olympus? Wait, are you telling us there’s actually a palace there?” asked Twilight.
“Well now, there’s Mount Olympus in Greece. And then there’s the home of the gods, the convergence point of their powers, which indeed used to be on Mount Olympus. It’s still called Mount Olympus out of respect to the old ways, but the palace moves, children, just as the gods do.”
“You mean it’s not just Grumpy Gus in there?” Pinkie asked in happy interest. “All the gods are here?”
“Well, certainly. The gods move with the heart of the West.”
“The what-now?” asked Applejack.
“Come now, Applejack. What mortals call Western civilization.” Chiron explained. “Did you think it’s just an abstract concept? No, it’s a living force. A collective consciousness that has burned bright for thousands of years. The gods are part of it; you might even say that they are the source of it, or at the very least, that they are tied so tightly to it that they couldn’t possibly fade, not unless all of Western civilization were obliterated. The fire started in Greece. Then as you all well know – or at least I hope you know since you all passed my course – the heart of the fire moved to Rome, and so did the gods. Oh, different names, perhaps – Jupiter for Zeus, Venus for Aphrodite, and so on – but the same forces, the same gods.”
“And then… what, they died?” asked Rainbow.
“Died? No. Did the West die?” Chiron countered. “The gods simply moved, to Germany, to France, to Spain, for a while. Wherever the flame was brightest, the gods were there. They spent several centuries in England; all you have to do is look at the architecture. People do not forget the gods. Every place they’ve ruled, for the last three thousand years, you can see them in paintings, in statues, on the most important buildings. And yes, children, of course they are now in your United States. Look at your national symbol; the eagle of Zeus. Look at the statue of Prometheus in Rockefeller Center, the Greek facades of your government buildings in Washington. I defy you to find any American city where the Olympians are not prominently displayed in multiple places. Like it or not – and believe me, plenty of people weren’t very fond of Rome, either – America is now the heart of the flame. It is the great power of the west. And so Olympus is here. And we are here.”
“Whew. This is a lot to take in.” Rainbow noted as she ran her hands over her hair and walked down the porch stairs before she turned and walked back up them. “Especially since we’re not even from this world!”
“Wait, what?!” Percy asked seriously.
Twilight rolled her eyes; she was wondering who would blow their cover in this world. Frankly, she was surprised they had lasted this long, so she explained about the book and the portal that brought them here. She left out a few details, but when she was finished, Percy was in awe as Chiron stroked his beard thoughtfully. “Curious. One of the gods must’ve sent that book to your world to enlist your help in something.”
“Do you know what?” Twilight asked hopefully.
“I do. But I think that’s enough minds blown for one day.” Chiron shrugged.
“Not quite yet.” Percy finally spoke, turning to Chiron. “Who are you, Chiron? Who… who am I?”
Chiron just chuckled and shifted his weight in his chair as if he was about to stand up. “Well, isn’t that the million-drachma question? But unfortunately, I don’t have the answer at the moment. For now, I suggest we get you bunks in Cabin 11. There will be new friends to meet. And plenty of time for lessons tomorrow. Besides, there will be s’mores at the campfire tonight, and I simply adore chocolate.”
“Ohmygosh, so do I!” Pinkie smiled as she shot to his side and hugged him… hard, forcing him to stand up to catch her. But that was where things got weird; his blanket fell away from his legs, but the legs themselves didn’t move. His waist kept getting longer, rising above his belt. At first, Percy and the others thought he was wearing very long, very white velvet underwear, but as he kept rising out of the chair, taller than any human, they saw that wasn’t the case; it was the front of a horse with coarse white fur. And the wheelchair wasn’t actually a chair. It was some kind of container, like an enormous box on wheels and it had to have been magic because there was no way it could’ve held all of him.
One of his legs came out, long and knobby-kneed with a huge, polished hoof. Then another foreleg came out and hindquarters, leaving the box empty as nothing but a metal shell with fake human legs attached to it. And where the neck of the horse should’ve been, was a perfectly grafted human waist, which the wide-eyed Pinkie Pie was still clutching as she hugged the teacher. “Our Latin teacher is a centaur.” Twilight said simply.
“I noticed.” Percy whispered breathlessly.
“Whoo, what a relief.” Chiron remarked as he stretched out his legs. “I’d been cooped up in there for so long, my fetlocks had fallen asleep.” Pinkie dropped from Chiron’s front and stared up at him in awe. “Now, come, children. Let’s meet the other campers. And uh… if at all possible, try to keep the Equestria thing quiet. As much as we may get along, I don’t think many of the others would believe you.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you got it.” Twilight nodded, still stunned by this. If this was just their first day at Camp Half-Blood, she wasn’t sure she or the others could last the whole summer.