That One Time Too
Chapter Twenty Three: Of Roller Derby and Rarity’s Wrath
Written by TheCrimsonDM
Rarity was suddenly very nervous about her impulsive decision. For starters, despite being a proper lady, her skills on roller skates amounted to, going forward without falling. This was not her hobby growing up, this was Cheerilee and Big Mac's. No... she was the weird kid who collected rocks. Something she had in common with Pinkie's family, or rather her in-laws now.
So standing there next to Celestia, the two of them wearing helmets and holding foam covered bats in their telekinetic auras, Rarity felt very much conflicted here. It didn't help that Celestia had used a shape shifting spell to turn into a unicorn with white fur, and a blond mane with orange stripes in it. Now she was only just a little taller than Rarity was.
"So," Rarity asked. "Sunny Days, right?"
"For now, yes." Celestia replied.
"Okay, I need to tell you, I am not good at this."
"It's just fine. I am good enough for the two of us. Granted, it's a couple’s race today. So they should be easy on us. The goal is simple. We both need to get to the end before the others."
Looking ahead of her, Rarity realized with stark horror. She couldn’t see an end. The track they stood on was at the top of a paved hill going down into a tunnel below the earth and vanishing from sight with only blue and pink neon lights to guide the way.
There were a few other couples here and she didn't like the look of them at all.
Trixie was with some pink unicorn, and they were looking ready as ever. Aloe and Lotus were here, their usually friendly eyes burning with furious excitement. Lyra and Bonbon were also here, as well as Time Turner and Ditzy Doo, not that those last two were dating but they seemed to go on adventures together quite often, finally she watched as the last team walked in and her heart sank. Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash rolled up next to them as they stood behind the starting line. Applejack looked at Rarity with an approving smile. "Howdy, fancy seein' a cutie like you here."
Rarity growled. "You full well know I wouldn't do this by choice."
"Oh no, then where'd you leave Celestia?"
Rarity nodded at Sunny Days next to her. "She's right here, in disguise."
Rainbow Dash stretched her wings and swung her bat playfully. "Well, I don't care if you’re the princess in disguise or my wife. I'm going to win and if you get in my way, you'll get knocked down."
Applejack nodded. "Ah'll try an' go easy on you, Marshmallow. Yer too soft fer this."
Rarity's eye twitched. "Too... soft... for..." She glared right at Applejack. "I'm breaking your legs."
Applejack’s eyes widened. "Um, ya can't do that on purpose."
"Oh see that I can't. I am going to win and you two will eat my unicorn dust."
Sunny Days replied. "Hoorah."
Applejack smiled. "Okay then, it's a bet. Loser needs to be the other's slave fer a day."
Rainbow Dash spoke up. "Uh, hey, don't I get a say in this?"
Both Applejack and Rarity looked at her saying, "No."
Like tartarus Rarity would lose to these ruffians. Celestia dragged her in here, so Celestia was going to see what happens when Rarity let her mane down. Nopony was going to defeat her at some physical sweaty competition of violence and skating.
A voice came over the announcer screen. Male, masculine, and playful. It sounded somehow... familiar. "Get ready, set, go!"
At the word go, green lights lit up overhead and the other teams all sped off. Rarity kicked her legs forward and tripped over her own hooves falling to the pavement below. It was only thanks to Celestia's golden aura that she didn't get hurt as the loving 'unicorn' grabbed Rarity and set her back down on her hooves.
The announcer’s voice spoke up. "Really now, I know you’re the element of Generosity but you can't give the head start to Applejack or Rainbow Dash."
She looked up at the speaker on the ceiling. "Shut up you, you, stallion you!"
Sunny Days giggled. "Come on, let's go."
Rarity wiggled her hooves scooting herself forward a few inches. Okay, she was lying to herself, she had no idea how to control these skates. Sunny Days easily rolled backward, then lowered her head. Rarity looked at her. "Don't you da-"
Sunny Days pushed forward, then using her forehead pushed Rarity from behind. Rarity went forward a few feet, over the lip of the hill and then down it. Her skates picked up a lot of speed as she screamed her way down the race track.
Sunny Days was next to her in a flash and picking up just as much speed. This hill seemed to go on forever. Rarity glared at her. "You dared!"
Sunny beamed. "Oh, I did. Here’s a tip, you can use magic to control the skates."
"I am not Twilight Sparkle, my magic is for fashion, not skating!"
Sunny rolled her eyes. "Then I'll use magic. Just sit there and look pretty."
Rarity was still holding her bat, and it seemed very, very tempting to smack Sunny in the back of the head. Of course Sunny was also holding her life in the dangerous balance of speed and racing, so that would be a rather poor choice for a final decision.
Rarity instead decided to take it out on somepony else. As the pair of them caught up with Aloe and Lotus who seemed sane enough to not go down the hill at breakneck speeds, Rarity lashed out and slapped the blue one in the face hard enough to knock her into the pink one and the pair of them went tumbling into the side wall.
The hill leveled out just after that and the pair of them continued gaining speed somehow. It was only then she realized that her skates were covered in a glowing golden aura that was pushing them to their limits. This was not safe.
Completely giving into Celestia's guiding light, Rarity just focused on what she could do. Hit things. She was really good at hitting things when angry, she was pretty sure most of her once friends, now lovers had experienced her wraith enough times. Makeup brushes, empty tubs of ice cream, all were weapons of choice when ponies brought reality into her meltdowns.
Not Fluttershy though. She could never hit Fluttershy.
They saw Time Turner and Ditzy on the horizon. Rarity cried out in a furious scream channeling her fear and anger at Celestia's antics into it. "Hey, Derpy!"
Ditzy Doo turned around, as did Time Turner. Just as they got close, Time Turner pulled out some strange metal device with lights and a buzzing noise. For a moment her mind thought it was some kind of nose hair trimmer. "Sonic screwdrivers, not good against wood, but let’s see what they do to skates."
Sunny Days cried out. "NO!"
He pointed the thing at Rarity's skates. "Sorry Celestia, this is the end of this road together."
One of Rarity's skates stopped instantly. Her leg went under her and she almost tumbled forward before lifting the leg off the ground and finding the wheels were stuck as if held by some kind of strange magic. Oh, he didn't do that did he? Rarity glared at him, and he swallowed. "O-or it could not do much. That's an option. How about we continue on the same road together?"
Rarity screamed. She brought the bat down into the sonic screwdriver, knocking it from his mouth into the hard floor. Ditzy tried to swing at her. Rarity used her horn to physically parry the blow, and then jabbed the tip of her foam bat into Dizzy's side hard enough to knock her over and into Time Turner. The pair tumbled into the floor and rolled behind them.
Rarity looked ahead. "I'm going to destroy them all!"
Sunny Days cackled manically. "Yes! YES! We are the best."
The air rippled in front of them and both Trixie and her companion appeared out of thin air. Trixie's horn was glowing. "Oh, I don't think so. Only Trixie and Starlight can be the Best and Greatest roller derby ponies in Equestria."
Starlight's horn lit up green and both Sunny Days and Rarity were lifted up off the floor and then fell backward. For her part Sunny Days managed to put herself into the way of the floor behind Rarity and caught her. Though they rolled several times, Rarity didn't once hit the ground.
After they stopped, Rarity poked her head out from the pony pile and looked at Celestia. "You saved me?"
Celestia's left eye had been hurt and was half way closed. "I dragged you into this, I'm not going to let you get hurt."
Rarity reached out toward the wounded eye. That was going to leave a black eye later. She'd only ever seen Celestia hurt twice, and both times had scared her beyond belief, but this time it was different, she was wounded herself to see Celestia hurt. "How did you get hurt?"
Sunny Days offered a weak smile. "Though still immortal, when I take this form I’m physically weakened. I apologize if I am not up to your expectations."
Rarity shook her head. "No, it's quite alright. I'm just sorry you got hurt, I'll take care of it later. But, we have an important job to do right now."
Celestia blinked, it looked painful. "What's that?"
Rarity used her telekinesis to pull herself up onto her hooves. "We need to make those fillies pay for daring to harm your beautiful face."
Sunny Days grinned. "Agreed."
With a vengeance Sunny Days stood up, they faced the right direction and then with a burst of golden magic they went rocketing off faster than before down the track. Every twist and turn was entirely in Sonny’s hooves, which was fine, because Rarity was now dual wielding the foam bats and looking for their target. Clearly they'd use trickery to become invisible again. It was only natural for Trixie to do such a thing and that Starlight had no better taste, she'd be glad to teach them a lesson and never see them again.
Sunny Days called out. "There, ahead of us."
Rarity saw it. Yes, the air was shimmering slightly. As they pulled up Rarity wasted no time in using both of her bats to whack at the shimmering shapes as hard as she could. The invisibility dropped instantly as their own bats came up to parry hers. Blow after blow they parried, and struck back. Rarity deflected them with great ease.
Rarity cried out. "You know why you lose this?"
Starlight laughed. "I think we're still doing pretty good."
Rarity sneered. "Because you got distracted by my dual wielding technique."
Just as Starlight began to reply, both the ponies had their wheels stopped by Rarity’s' aura. The couple of Trixie and Starlight tumbled into a rolling mess of ponies and fell behind them. Rarity laughed maniacally. That’s what you get for harming a hair on Celestia's beautiful face.
Now there was only one target left.
The rest of the race was relatively quiet. Rarity and Celestia rolled through the track. Yet no sign of Rainbow Dash or Applejack in sight. She began fearing the worst, and those fears were confirmed when she saw Applejack and Rainbow Dash at the finish line and looking smug at Rarity and Sunny Days.
As the pair pulled over the finish line and came to a stop they looked over at Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Rarity let out a sigh. "Fine, you win."
Rainbow Dash snickered. "Oh yeah? So what are you gonna-" her mirth vanished instantly as she looked at Celestia's face. "-what happened? Who hurt her?"
Sunny Days raised a hoof. "I tripped. Turns out these old bones are not as used to racing as I once thought."
Rainbow Dash frowned. "I knew I should have stopped you. Why did I let you two do this? What's wrong with me?"
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Calm down, RD. They're fine. A little bruised but fine. They look like they had fun too."
Rarity nodded. "It was quite the stress reliever I must say."
Celestia shook her head slowly. "Well, I suppose we're your slaves for the rest of the day then?"
Rainbow Dash let out a defeated sigh. "I wish... but we lost. We came in second."
Rarity's eyes widened. "But who beat you? I defeated everypony on the track personally."
Applejack pointed to a podium where Time Turner and Ditzy stood with a trophy made of gold painted plastic.
Sunny Days smiled. "Ah, time travel. That little runt."
Rarity blinked. "Is time travel real?"
Sunny blinked. "Time travel? Oh no, I didn’t say that. I said Rhyme... Ravel."
Rarity blinked. "Um... what?"
"It’s uh... a secret earthy pony spell. Yeah, that’s it. Makes him super fast." Sunny looked over at Time Turner. Time Turner gave her a knowing wink.
Rarity realized that Celestia was a poor liar, and now she knew where Twilight got that from. Still, they'd had fun and could go home now. After all, it had been a great day.