//------------------------------// // Chapter 228 - Hard Learned Truth // Story: Dadonequus Discord (Book 2) // by CrazedLaughter //------------------------------// “...So, Yona, I never got a chance to ask, but how are you enjoying friendship school?” Fluttershy asked cheerfully as she poured some syrup for you, onto your pancakes. You were tense as all hell. Why did Yona have to come so early? Why did Fluttershy have to let her in? Now they were conversing with each other, getting closer and closer to your doom. You could barely even nibble on your pancakes despite the fact it smelled so good, so all you did was very slowly sip your juice. “Oh, Yona like it very much, Professor Fluttershy. Yona has made lots of friends and learned many new things about friendship Yona can take back home to teach other yaks. Not too much new things, but enough things, because Yaks very good at friendship already.” Yona said pridefully as she scarfed down a pancake in a single bite. “Good! If there’s one thing that makes me happy, it's to learn that a student is having a wonderful time, learning, and making a lot of friends! I’m actually very glad you’ve made friends with Anon, I always believe he can be happier by having lots of good friends by his side.” Fluttershy said optimistically as she gave your head a pat and sat down to enjoy her own stack of pancakes. “Yona agree, and Yona glad Yona make friends with Anon. It not only teach Yona not to judge others by look, but also teach Yona that anycreature can be tough, even tougher than yak sometimes.” Yona said, shooting you a wink. You just smiled awkwardly and looked back at your food, just giving it a blank stare. “Oh, I’m so glad to hear that. But it isn’t always about being tough, you also have to be very sweet too. And you two, I think, are very sweet. You both have such a big heart and… Anon?” Fluttershy suddenly became worried when she finally noticed how distant you looked. “Anon, are you alright?” She was worried that you were still affected from last night. She was only half right, as you didn’t want that damned project brought up at all. You look at Fluttershy and force a very cheerful smile. “Oh, sorry Aunt Fluttershy. I’m just not really too hungry right now, I guess it’s from waking up too early. S-sorry… I didn’t mean for you to waste these pancakes on me” “Oh, hush.” Fluttershy said with a giggle. “If you’re not hungry, then you’re not hungry. Yona, if you want extra pancakes, you can take some of Anon’s. I’ll be happy to make some fresh ones for you, Anon, right before you go to school.” Dammit, Fluttershy… She just… Dammit… “Oh, Yona gladly accept!” Yona said as she quickly took your plate and added the pancakes to her own. “Yona love Professor Fluttershy’s cooking.” You didn’t even try to stop her, you just went back to sipping your juice, trying to keep some sort of smile on your face. Fluttershy began to worry more and more, until she felt she realized the problem. “Oh, you must really be worried about that project for Rarity. I know! Why don’t you both gather your notes and let me preview what you have for your presentation so far, then you both can go work on it after breakfast. Oh, I bet everything is going to be perfect already!” Fluttershy said, ecstatic and giddy about hearing what you both had as she pushed her seat back to be able to see the both of you better. Both you and Yona tensed. For different reasons, but… Why was Yona worried? Yona looked down, feeling rather ashamed of herself. “Yona didn’t write notes. Project so exciting that Yona just kind of go back to room and, erm, fall asleep.” “What? Exciting?” Fluttershy looked over at you, concerned about how ‘exciting’ the project was. “Anon… You didn’t use your magic irresponsibly, did you?” Shit! You just looked away, shaking. This was it, if she knew what happened, if she knew about how things went south with Jimmy… “Anon did! Anon turn Ponyville into Yakville! It was almost like Yakyakistan but different! I think Anon learn lots of good things about Yaks. He even turned into yak! Right, Anon?” Yona could tell something was wrong, and she didn’t know if you were allowed to use magic or not. So she gave you a wink, hoping to turn things around without realizing why you were so scared. “I-I did…” It was all you could say, stammering, staring at the table. “Anon? Anon, it’s alright! Really. And I actually think it’s amazing you used your magic to learn more about yaks. Though…” Fluttershy let out a light hearted giggle. “I don’t really remember being a yak. I must have been so silly. Was I silly, Anon?” But you weren’t answering, and once again, Fluttershy began to become concerned. “A-Anon?” You began to shake more and more, nearly gasping for air as everything felt heavy around you. At this point, even Yona was becoming concerned. Though, after a moment, Yona realized why you were worried. She began to piece together that if Fluttershy knew exactly what happened, you’d be in trouble. “P-Professor Fluttershy! Yona think Anon not be in trouble! Ahrm, if Yona can speak about what Yona learned, Yona learn Anon’s life is very different from anycreature. It stressful, full of responsibility, and chaos. I think anycreature would go crazy if do what Anon does, but Yona learn that it also make Anon brave and strong, like when Anon saved Silverstream without thinking! Yona even learn that there are real things to be scared of, things scarier than… erm… spiders.” You felt your mind crack at that, your heart nearly stopped. “Wow, Yona!” Fluttershy began to clap her hooves together “That sounds so… Wait, ‘real things to be afraid of’? What does that mean? Yona, what happened in the project?” Fluttershy asked, with wary curiosity. Yona’s eyes widened as she realized her mistake. She began to sweat as she tried to think of something to defuse the situation. “Erm, uhm, er… Not much? Yona just get to see changeling that, erm, lived in Anon’s house? He not so tough, just crazy.” “Huh? Oh, wait, is that the reason you and Discord have the house back? Anon, you didn’t make a dangerous gamble with that mean ole changeling, did you? I’m glad it worked out, but you should never ever gamble. I-I don’t want to imagine what would have happened if you lost. That’s how your father lost the house in the first place. Anon, I want you to promise me not to gamble like your father, alright? There is always a better and safer way to resolve things.” Fluttershy said. Knowing you were probably still feeling bad from yesterday, she sounded as non-hostile as possible when she said her words, yet she hoped you’d take what she asked of you seriously. You promise? Promise? Will you? Promise what exactly? You didn’t just gamble some petty shit, you gambled with yours and Yona’s life, and you fucking lost! You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Yona. All this, all this because you were fucking lazy. No wonder the yaks of Yaksville had a problem with you, you were probably a little shit that, like with your horn, you used your strong head to try to solve your problems.  Every yak was familial and worked together, protected one another, and wanted each other to succeed. You? You were a little shit!  A little shit… You could hear Jimmy laughing at you. Even when he was gone, his cruel laughter was loud in your head. That spirit… Dammit, DAMMIT! There’s no way around it. You fucked up, and if you lie, or hide what you did… DAMMMMMITTTT! “I CAN’T!” You slammed your hooves onto the table, your tears breaking out heavily, as you began to realize the gravity of your entire set of actions.  Fluttershy recoiled backwards in surprise, as did Yona. Neither of them were expecting this. “A-Anon? W-what’s wrong? W-whatever it is, whatever happened. I forgive you, I just want you to understand that gambling is wrong.” Fluttershy said with a gulp, unsure on how to approach you. She’s never seen you like this, you suddenly looked like a wreck, your eyes crazed. It was worse than last night, for sure. “Forgive me? Why? Why do you forgive me?” You whispered. “I did it again, I put Yona and myself in danger for no reason, because I cheaped out on the project by using my magic to make up some scenarios to ‘learn’ about each other, and instead my magic just screwed us over and put us in danger. In real, close to death, danger. I did that, me! The princesses would never forgive me, my friends won’t. Why should they? Aunt Fluttershy, I did the same thing I always did, we nearly got torn apart. All because of me. I didn’t learn anything…” Never before had you felt so pathetic. You weren’t even looking for forgiveness, or affection, none of it.  You, in some sense, wanted what you deserved. You couldn’t get it out of your head, everything was your fault. So why? How could Yona just shrug it off like it’s nothing? You look at her, gulping. “Yona, you don’t even look like… Why don’t you hate me?” Fluttershy and Yona was stunned. Fluttershy was even scared, you looked so awful, so unhinged, she didn’t know what to do. But Yona looked at you, she stared. You were a friend to her, at least in her eyes. She knew you were kind of a jackass, but she felt, deep inside, you’d give your life to protect anyone you cared about. “Because, Anon, We take on mean changeling together. Yona know Anon not best pony ever, but Anon good where it counts…” Yona points to her heart. “Here. You only one Yona know who goes to fight scariest villains in land to save friends without thinking. Even if you use magic for shortcut, Yona know you learned not to do things like that in Yaksville. And evil changeling thing was accident, Anon not know that would happen.” “NO!” You angrily hop off your chair and approach Yona, yelling and pointing at her. “That’s not it! If I learned anything, then it won’t matter to me the next day! Why should it?! I'm invincible, I'm above everything! Why does anypony even like me?! I only made friends because I had no choice! The only friends I made on my own was Chrysalis! A villain! A monster! I almost let everypony die because I was being stubborn! I don’t even know what I was trying to prove!” You begin to slow down, crying profusely, as you drop to the floor. “I don’t know how he does it. I don’t know how Discord can do this. I can’t-MN?” You suddenly feel yourself being lifted, as you feel the warmth of Fluttershy’s embrace. “Anon, shhhh. Please stop! Please! Shhh… You’re not yourself, what you’re saying… It isn’t true.” She said, crying, as she held you as tight as she could. You couldn’t stop sobbing, you whimpered weakly, whispering. “Why?... Why? It is true… I’m a monster… You can’t forgive me. Why?” “Because… I know what you’re saying isn’t true. And even if some of it is, it’s only the parts that don’t matter anymore. You have made friends on your own. Did you forget about Starlight? Tempest? Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle? Applebloom? You even managed to have a marefriend all on your own, who I know you cherish dearly. And Chrysalis? Sure, it didn’t always work out, and it even got scary, but in the end you helped an entire kingdom, Anon. And you helped her. How could you be so hard on yourself?” Fluttershy said, as she began to cry harder, holding you and rubbing your back in an attempt to calm you down. “Y-you don’t get it… Didn’t you hear me? I nearly got Yona and me killed. If it wasn’t for Yona…” You couldn’t finish your sentence, you nearly choked up on the thought of how badly you fucked up. “Yona not upset, Anon. Really, we made good team.” Yona said, frightened of the situation, yet trying to do her best to help calm the situation. She too had never seen you like this, and it was soul crushing to her. She couldn’t recall seeing anycreature so broken up before. “NO! STOP!” You shouted. “None of you should be forgiving me! Do you think Twilight would?! Celestia?! What I did wasn’t okay! Why don’t you understand that?!” Fluttershy suddenly froze. In her mind, she was sure Twilight would understand in the end. But something like this? Celestia? Luna? She knew their trust in you had thinned with every major mistake you made. She began to lose faith, until she thought of her own situation with Philomena. No, way beyond that, from Discord being forgiven for his team up with Tirek to Starlight being forgiven for enslaving an entire town and kidnapping you initially. By association, the princesses had forgiven them as well, just as they also forgiven Chrysalis, despite everything she had done. If they can forgive her, who nearly ended Twilight, then surely they could forgive you, especially now that it seemed you fully understood the weight of your actions. “I think they would. If you show them that you understand, and that you’ll never ever do it again, then I’m sure everything will be fine. Just like with your father, with Starlight, and with Chrysalis. Why, I’d even forgive Tirek if he wasn’t willing to be a meanie anymore. And I bet the princesses would too. Think about Princess Luna, Anon. She was feared as Nightmare Moon, and yet, despite all the terrible things she did, she was forgiven and became a better pony. Anon, I’m not mad at you, you don’t need to be scared. I promise nothing bad is going to happen to you. I mean it when I say I forgive you, and I promise the reasons you should be forgiven are good enough.” How could she be upset when you were so hurt? She knew she should be upset, maybe even mad. But she just couldn’t be, not when you were like this, not when it was clear that you understood well enough that you told the truth on your own.  …They really do, don’t they? They fucking forgive everyone. no matter what, it seems they’re always willing to forgive if the one they’re forgiving is willing to change their ways. Yet, knowing that, you felt miserable. It was too easy. You lied to Fluttershy so much before, that she should be skeptical of you, she should distrust you.  Yet she held you just the same, and you began to hug back, hiding in her comfort as you always had. Why did she try so hard? How could she care so much? You knew why, but to feel why, it was indescribable. But, all in all, it really was too easy. And you knew you didn’t deserve it. You wanted proper judgment. It terrified you. What you were about to do, where you were going to go. You’ve been on the business end of Luna’s wrath before. And Celestia? You wondered if she’d let you live it down. Whatever fate they might hold for you, it’d be deserved.  You sneak your horn onto your head, and gently pull back to give Fluttershy a tear filled smile. “Thank you, Aunt Fluttershy. I… I have to go now. If I don’t come back, I’m sorry. Tell Dad I’m sorry too.” You told her as your horn began to glow. “Anon?! No, Anon! What are y-ANON!” Fluttershy shouted as you suddenly blinked away. “Anon! No! Where did you go?!” Fluttershy cried out as she began to look around, hoping you had just warped somewhere nearby. Yona just stood there, stunned.  And you? You had to know, you had to just tell them, and finally take what you truly deserved.