Not in Minnesota Anymore

by Troypony


New Land, New Friends, New Problems

(Hope everyone had a happy New Year's!)

I woke up the next day, sore as I have ever felt in my life. Even if that was the best night's sleep I've ever had, it didn't beat the worst morning soreness I've ever had. I woke up to very new surroundings, and it took me a while to put all of the pieces together. I was in the middle of a forest now, with no idea which way led home. I thought of finding the tallest tree, and possibly finding my way home from there. As soon as I tried to stand, blinding pain surged through my body, and I was forced to stop immediately. I didn't remember what caused the pain, but I remembered that quickly as well. I looked over my entire body, and saw plenty of cuts, bruises, and scratches, but I knew the real damage couldn't be seen. Figuring that both of my legs could possibly be broken, I started dragging my self along, hoping to find a vantage point of sorts. As I dragged myself along, I couldn't help but notice a strange feeling throughout my entire body. It felt like like I was being tickled, except it didn't make me laugh or anything. I tried to shrug it off, but the feeling pursued me, and wasn't going to be lost easily. I gave up trying, and continued to pull myself along, inch by inch. I was pretty surprised that no wolves or other predators had appeared, with all of the pained groans I was making. It could be a sound that the didn't recognize, and fled from it. I had much worse problems than that right now, like if I'll ever get out of here.

Then, a thought hit me like a rock. My phone! I reached for my pocket, dug inside, and found it...

...empty.

Another forgotten memory had returned. I had given my phone away, to my mysterious captors. Maybe they could find me in time, like they said, and help me out a little. I could use some help right about now. Pulling yourself will only get you so far so fast. And now, I felt as if I couldn't go any farther. I let my body flatten onto the ground, absolutely hating myself for my bad luck. I never really get myself into crazy predicaments before, why did I have to start now? I decided to just lie around, and hope my captors return before I'm eaten, or die of lack of necessities. As I took one last look around, I noticed one tree standing much higher among the rest. This could be the break I was looking for! I continued my crawling, finding new strength in hope. As I approached the tree, I started noticing that it stood at the base of a cliff, one that would surly injure me further, and possibly cause my death. Gulping, I continued forward. I eventually reached the base of the trunk, and praised Celestia that there were branches low to the ground. I grabbed the closest branch, and started pulling my self up, careful to not put any weight onto my legs. I climbed branch after branch, determined to reach the top. As I climbed, the feeling reoccurred, much stronger this time, causing me to almost lose my grip. I clutched the branch for dear life, as the sensation dissipated from my body, except for my legs. The feeling became so strong there, I couldn't feel any part of my legs, feet, or toes. It didn't matter, I couldn't use either one of them anyway. I restarted my climb and didn't stop for anything until I had reached the top. As I hung above the rest of the treeline, all of my hopes vanished. There wasn't anything visible except for trees, trees, and more trees. As I continued my scan, I discovered a plume of smoke rising above the trees, higher than I was. It was my best bet, and tried to remembered the direction it was in before I started heading down. Another wave of sensations struck, focused on my hands this time. I panicked, and quickly started to climb down.

I wasn't quite fast enough.

I lost all sensation in my hands, and was forced to let go. As I fell, I smacked into every possible branch, forcing more pain into my system. I slammed into the ground right next to the edge of the cliff. I breathed a sigh of relief, and was feeling quite happy it didn't turn out worse. Then, I started hearing cracking noises. I had forgotten to check of thin the rock was overlooking the cliff, because if I did, I would've noticed that it was very, very thin. The rock eventually broke off, and I tried to hold on and screamed for dear life. The rock broke apart, unfortunately for me, and I started tumbling headfirst down the slope. Every impact sent jolts of pain right up my spine, until I had almost passed out from it. I had finally reached the bottom, in horrible condition, with pain coursing through every vessel of me. As I started to pass out, I noticed a figure running at me, but was gone by the time it reached me.


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I eventually came back to consciousness, and I could feel my body moving without any effort at all. I scanned about, and made the assumption that I was being carried, to where, I wasn't sure. As for whatever was carrying me, I had no clue. Whatever it was, though, had the softest texture I had probably ever felt. It also expelled an awful lot of heat, just the perfect amount to relax my body and keep me comfortable. Feeling as tired as ever, I started drifting off to sleep, ushering one last groan of pain. My carrier seemed to respond, speeding up it's pace until my hair felt like it was blowing through the wind. Smiling at the feeling, I finally faded out.


I awoke again to still new surroundings, except this time, I was inside. My whole body seemed to be aching, as if there were boulders resting on top of me. Any sort of movement caused much discomfort, and so I was forced to move sparingly. I felt as if there were a thousand little electrical shocks throughout my skin, and it felt really relaxing. Forcing myself to not fall back asleep, I shook my head around until I felt certain I would stay awake. My eyes were hazy, and everything seemed to be a blur around me anyways, so shaking my head around like that almost made me sick. I checked my sleeping area, looking for the source of the shocks, which I believed was to be found somewhere close to where I had slept. Shifting my aching body to get a better look, I checked everywhere I could. Under the couch, behind it, everywhere something could be hidden. I had one last place to look, and that was under my covers. As I lifted them up, I could see a massive amount of things wrong with what I was seeing, but there was only a few that were definitely not expected. Only one of those really stood out for me though.

I. Was. Naked.

I wasn't wearing a single piece of clothing. I couldn't really find out how that could be possible, since I believed I was wearing clothes when I was being brought here. If that was the case, the only way my clothes would be gone, would be my host/hostess. I blushed a little at the idea of a hostess being forced to do that, but shook the idea out of my mind and continued to play "Find the Difference" with my legs.

That is, if they could still be called legs.

What I had seen were not legs. There were no feet, no toes, no anything, really. There was, however, A LOT of hair, all over them. And not just any hair. BLUE hair. Completely covered in blue hair! I couldn't even see my own skin anymore. I couldn't believe this sudden transformation. Had I suddenly become a monster? I checked over the rest of my body, and found nothing unchanged. My face, my hands (which weren't hands anymore), my whole body was completely new. I didn't look new, since I had managed to cover it with all sorts of injuries.I could only faintly remember how I had received them, but shrugged it of as lack of sleep. My body was starting to wake up more, and my eyes could now see much more clearly as the haze was lifted. Looking around, I started to get excited. Of all the places to have been brought I was brought to a house filled with books. The whole floor I was located seemed to be just for the purpose of containing books. That's when this whole place looked so very familiar. I wracked my brain, hoping I could remember just where I had seen this place. Then, I had it.

I was in Twilight Sparkle's home, the library.

Everything about My Little Pony flooded back to me, and I almost squealed with joy from this discovery. I couldn't believe it! Could I actually be in the show? These few days have been really strange, so I shouldn't be too surprised. If this was Twilight's house however, where is every-

My question had an answer before I finished it. Above me, I heard a door slamming, along with a patter of footsteps. My heart started racing. I was going to meet Twilight Sparkle face-to-face! The footsteps grew closer and closer, reaching the stairs, then slowed down until it sounded like light steps coming down. I assumed that Twi thought I was still asleep, and wasn't trying to wake me up. As I started thinking of what I was going to say to her, a head peeked out from the stairs. It wasn't Twi, but her assistant, Spike.

"Oh good, you're awake. I was afraid that you were going to sleep all day. Cant be stealing the roles of dragons, you know."

I tried responding, but my voice just barely squeaked out from being underused. "What..."

Spike cut me off with a wave of his hand. "Dont be asking me any questions now, I don't know about anything before Twilight brought you home. Man, you were a mess. I was starting to get worried that Twi couldn't save you, but she seems to have bandaged you up like a pro. Must've been that book she was reading while she was fixing you up."

I wasn't startled at all by that last statement. It's been shown all over that Twilight is always reading up on how to do something as she is doing it. It's just a comedic addition to her love of books.

I tried speaking again, and found my voice to have improved. "Do...do you know when she'll be back?"

"Oh, not to long I believe. She was just heading out to retrieve some more medicine."

Spike pointed to a coffee table not far from where I was laying. Placed all around were multiple first aid items, all with familiar names that had been changed to fit Equestria. Most of them weren't even opened yet, which confused me.

"Why does she need more? At least half of these are not even opened yet!"

Spike rubbed the back of his scaly head. "Yeah, that's Twilight for ya. I think she just felt the need to be over-prepared. Most likely, she's buying everything as a way to double-check herself. There was this one time where she made me write three different-"

I knew exactly what he was talking about, and finished the sentence for him. "-checklists, right? She had also forgotten to write a letter to Princess Celestia that week."

He was taken back, mouth wide open. Once he got over the shock, his eyes accusingly squinted at me. "Yeah, that's right. How'd you know? Been following us around? I bet you have. No one could possibly know exactly what happened, especially a pony whom no one's ever seen before. I mean, there's NO WAY some random pony can be dragged into my house, gravely injured, and somehow know everything about everyone."

I gave a sly smirk and whispered, "Wanna bet?"

Spike gave a nervous expression, but gave a determined stare and exclaimed, "You're on!"

I grinned, and motioned him over. Once he got close, I whispered his deepest, darkest secret straight from his ear to his brain.

His face heated up to the point where I thought it would melt right off. He jumped back, stammering every word out of his mouth.

"B-b-but...h-how!?

I merely laughed. Seeing as I could just destroyed any hope of privacy, I stopped laughing and tried to calm him down.

"Spike! Calm down, no one else knows your secret! I just merely happen to know, that's all!"

That didn't seem to help. It worsened the situation, if anything.

"How do you know then? Who told you!? I swear when I find them I'll-"

"SPIKE!! Calm down!!"

He snapped out of his rant, and spun around to face me. I had to calm him down, because if he didn't, he might never trust me. And if Spike didn't, Twilight wouldn't either.

"Look, I may know about your darkest secret and all, but I'm not the one to start going off and telling everyone about it. Believe me when I say this, I swear to Celestia that WILL NOT tell a single person about this, EVER. I'll even Pinkie Pie Swear if you want me too!"

Spike's face eventually drained of nervousness, and he took a deep breath. Once finished, he suspiciously stared at me, as if looking into my soul. After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke.

"How do I know I can trust you with something so...fragile?"

"How about a nice Fire Ruby?"

His eyes lit up like stars at the request. "How could you possibly-"

"Trust me, I'll find a way."

Spike looked satisfied, but had one more thing to say before he was quiet about this.

"Alright, I'll trust you, but dont expect me to go jump off a bridge for you or something. That is, until I get my Fire Ruby."

I chuckled a little at this. Spike was actually a good guy, and it feels much different talking to him in person than listening to him talk on the show. I can actually get a real personality from him. Once I had stopped chuckling, I looked back at Spike. He had pulled up a chair next to the couch, and had a quizzical look on his face. Something seemed to be bothering him.

"What is it, Spike? Why are you just staring at me?"

He thought a moment, then spoke.

"The way you talk, it's much different than anypony I heard. You dont use the same words as everyone I've heard. You aren't from around here, are you?"

I tried to think of an answer to his question, but ultimately failed. I just couldn't seem to remember anything before waking up in the forest. I had no idea where I was from, what I was doing here in the first place, and even who I was. I skulked at my lack of memory, and Spike could see that.

"What? Cant remember?"

I raised my eyes to meet his.

"Honestly, no I cant. I cant remember much of anything, not even who I am. All I can remember is everything I know about here."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "You still haven't told me how you know all of this about Equestria."

"That might be something I'll share later. It could be quite life-changing for everyone."

Spike began to pout. "Oh, alright, but I'm not forgetting about it so easily. I'll find out sooner than later!"

I snickered. "I'm sure you will." But right now, I need something to drink. What do you have?"

Spike got up off his chair. "Hold up, I'll go check."

Spike walked behind the couch, and in a few moments, I could hear the rattling of bottles. After a while of this, I heard Spike call out, "Looks like we only have carrot juice. That okay?"

Carrot juice? Oh, right. Ponies are vegetarians. Seeing as there was nothing else, I couldn't see why not. "Uh, sure, that's fine"

Spike brought the whole bottle in, along with two glasses. I raised my eyebrow at him. He looked and said, "This juice is my favorite brand. You'll see soon enough. "

He unscrewed the cap, a poured us both a drink, and screwed the cap back on. We both grabbed our drinks, clinked them together, and drank. The taste of the carrot juice was astounding, and made my spine shiver as it journeyed down my throat. Once I had finished my drink, I had the shivering feeling for a while longer, but I felt it was worth it. I had to watch Spike continue drinking, since I was much larger than him and could drink more at a time. Once he had finally finished, he looked at me and immediately noticed my shivering.

"You've never had carrot juice, have you?"

I could only shake my head. Any sort of speech would just come out choppy.

"Man, this stuff sucks on the first try. You shouldv'e told me, I would've given you a smaller amount! With as much as you drank you might..."

I never really heard the rest, as I was stricken with huge chills all over me. Spike wasn't kidding! This stuff did horrible things to you on your first drink. I'm sure it wasn't usually this bad, since I was given a large amount. It wasn't long before the chills had stopped, and I was left breathing heavily, eyes almost popping out of my skull. Spike was leaning over me, watching me with hopeful eyes. I guessing he was hoping that he didn't just kill me. I started slowing my breathing down to normal, and my eyes started retracting. As I started calming down, Spike started blurting out an apology. He must've been nervous too, as he was speaking at a mile a minute. I just put a hand, or hoof, over his mouth, quieting him down.

"Spike, I know you didn't mean it. Sure, you could've just about killed me, but I'm not dead. So please, dont go hating yourself for something that didn't happen, as I'm not going to hate you for it either."

I swear, Spike almost shed a tear as he suddenly gave me a bear hug. After a few moments of being stunned, I returned the hug. Spike didn't make it last too long, lest it start feeling creepy. As he pulled away, I KNOW I saw a tear being flicked away as he started to speak.

"S-sorry, it's just that...I dont think I can remember the last time someone has ever spoken to me like that. I just kinda got filled with emotions, ya know?"

I smiled at him. "I understand. Mind pouring me another drink?"

He smiled back, and poured us both another drink.

I took mine and almost started to take a sip, but stopped myself and asked, "This wont almost kill me again, will it?"

He just chuckled, "No, it's the first time that gets everyone."

I eyed him, and he continued. "Trust me."

I laughed to myself, and took a sip. My tongue was flooded with the same enjoyable taste, but the were no chills afterwards. I downed this drink faster than my first, but Spike just kept a normal pace. As soon as he finished his drink, I asked him a question that I planned on asking him one last time:

"Could I have just one more glass?"


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I couldn't remember how many drinks we had. We had to have gone through a few bottles, as I've noticed Spike just disappear at points and then reappear with a new bottle in hand. As we drank, we became more and more open to each other. The conversation kept drifting around, but the topic was usually about the many adventures Spike and the Mane 6 had together. I mostly enjoyed teasing him about the time when the Diamond Dogs stole Rarity, and how he tried to act like a hero, only for Rarity to free herself. He blushed a little in embarrassment every time I brought it up, but I told him not to worry about it. I was pretty sure that no one remembered too much about that day anyway. We continued talking through the day into the night, for maybe 5-6 hours. All of the drinks I had caught up to me, and nature started calling on a phone that wouldn't stop ringing. I tried holding the feeling back as long as possible, but there was only one thing I could do now.

"Hey Spike, uh, where is the restroom?"

He gave me a confused look. "It's on the second floor, but I doubt you'll be able to make it up there, with your broken hooves and all."

I had completely forgotten about my injuries. Still even if my "hooves" were broken, I still had a way around.

"It'll be fine. I tried doing this before, and it worked last time."

Spike said nothing, but shrugged his shoulders. Trying to cause as little amount of pain possible, I tried to slide myself off of the couch and onto the floor. It was much harder than it sounded, since I had only two finger-less hooves to work with. As I continued to struggle toward the edge of the couch, Spike shook his head and sighed. He jumped off his chair, and waled over to me. Before I even knew what was going on, Spike had pulled me off the couch with a solid thud. For just a small baby dragon, Spike had a lot of strength in him. He wasn't just trying to pull me off the couch, though. He continued to drag me across the floor, towards the stairs.

"Um, Spike? You dont need to-"

He grunted out, "You're not going to get anywhere in your condition, just thought I would help you out a bit."

"But-"

"No, it's fine."

He continued to drag me until we got to the stairs. He stopped in front of them and said, "Sorry if this starts to hurt, but I cant really do much else to bring you upstairs."

I nodded, and braced myself for any pain that was to be brought from the stairs. It was a pretty bumpy ride, and my rump was pretty sore as we reached the top stair. It wasn't as sore as it could've been; Spike had to take a few breaks on the way up. Once the top stair had been overcome, Spike fell onto his back and started panting heavily. Like I had said before, Spike had a lot of strength in him, and I was amazed he did what he did with so few breaks in between.

In between his gasps for air, Spike said,"I...cant carry...you anymore. I...think you can...get there by...yourself now."

I nodded, and began to make my way to the bathroom. I inched closer and closer, hoping to Celestia I would make it in time. After one final effort I reached the bathroom, and shut the door as I entered.


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After I had finished up in the bathroom, I dragged myself back through the doorway. The bathroom had felt...different in some way. I couldn't quite explain it, but it was as if it was a new experience. I had no idea where that feeling could've come from. I'll have to see if I can possibly remember my past, as I cant remember a single thing about it. Just as I was nearing the stairs, I heard a conversation going on. Based on the tone of voice's I was hearing, it sounded like a heated argument. I could hear Spike somewhere in there, but there was another voice too. It wasn't one I've heard before, but I had the same feeling as when I was in the bathroom. Somehow, I already knew that voice, but I didn't. I decided to not worry about it now, and tried to eavesdrop on the conversation. The first voice I heard was Spike's.

"Look, I told you once and I'll say it again. I HAVE NOT seen a human around here. There hasn't been a human in Equestria in thousands of years, so why would there be one now?"

"I'm not trying to cause trouble, but using this item, I have tracked the human here. If you are hiding him, I would suggest that you can bring him out please."

Human? That sounded familiar. Where have I heard that before...

Suddenly, I had remembered something. I...I think I was a human. Yes, that's right. A human! Aren't they looking for a human? Who were they even? What would they want with a human? Even if they did know I was once a human, would I even be useful as a pony? Better to not find out, wait to see what their motives were for said human. They continued their conversation as I thought about this, so I missed most of it.

"Well, if you do see a human out anywhere, please just let me know. I do believe his name's Camoran. So if you do find him, use that name. He should respond."

"Well, what would I do then?"

"Just bring him to me. I'll be staying with a friend in a cottage at the edge of town, I'm sure you've heard of Fluttershy, right?"

"Of course I have. Who hasn't?"

I heard a light giggle before the mysterious pony continued. "Well, that should make it easier to find me then. Just come and find me if you hear about something." Pause. "Oh, and by the way, my name's Eclipse. Nice to meet you!"

"And I'm Spike."

"Oh, I know that. You are the only dragon here, remember?"

Slight laugh. "Oh, right. Forgot for a moment."

"Well, I have to get going. Hope to hear from you!"

I heard the door close shut. As soon as I heard that. I peeked around the corner. Spike was sitting on the couch, head in his hands. Seeing that the pony was for sure gone, I slid from behind the corner and started down the stairs. Spike looked up, and walked over to help, but I just waved for him to stay. Watching as I slowly slid my way down, Spike asked, "Did you hear any of that conversation?"

Trying to do two things at once, I replied, "Mostly towards the end, I think. Name's Eclipse, right?"

Spike nodded. "Yeah, weirdest mare I ever saw. Seems to be good acquaintances with Fluttershy though. Still dont know what a human would be doing here. We haven't seen one in over a thousand years! What would one be doing here anyway?"

"Not so sure myself, should we ask Twi?"

"Probably. Where is she anyway? She told me she would be back hours ago! I hope she didn't get herself into trouble."

"I dont think Twi would do that, she's smarter than that."

"I wouldn't be so sure. She's gotten herself into some nasty trouble sometimes."

"Yeah, I hope she's ok..."

I lost my footing, and slid down a few steps before crashing onto my back in a heap.

Wanting to get something off my chest, I asked, "Hey Spike?"

He snapped out of deep thought. "Yeah?"

"What if I told you...that I was-"

Suddenly, a shriek tore through the night, filling the air with an eerie sensation.

"What in the hay was that?"

"Come on, we gotta check it out!"

Spike looked appalled. "Wha...what?! You dont plan on going out there, do you?"

He gave me a frightened look; he must've seen the immense determination in my eyes.

"That's exactly what I was planning."