A Thief's Tale: The Road to Redemption

by Ringtael

Re: Chapter Thirty-Nine: To Make An Omelet

It wasn’t as hard as I’d thought to get a hold of Will and Bea. Honestly, it was kind of scary just how close they’d been to getting to the deeper side of the grass. The very fact that all I had to do was, yet again, ask Stefano to put a little effort in made the fact that he was a slacker ring home…  If there was a point in me coming back, then Cap G had made it awfully clear. The timing was too perfect. Otherwise, I couldn’t trust myself for shit. My conversation with Will told me that held the same opinion, given the limited amount of info I was willing to share at the time. 

While having the Brick Mansion under my control through Dark Magic, I got to talk to people. Not usually someone I would meet in a pub, but a few. Some, I could see having legitimate jobs in the recent past, but no one wound up there because they could see hope. The place was kind of a cesspit, and the amount of drugs flowing through the halls rivalled any rave I’d seen. Even then, it was just a fuckin’ Wednesday evening. I put a little moratorium on that with the 'Dark Whispers’. Admittedly, as much as I hate the name, it’s effective on most people. Apparently it could even kill the worst withdrawal symptoms, which added to the thought I’d been developing over the course of the night. 

The possibilities of magic had never really been all that appealing to me. I mean, power corrupts and I’ve said it a thousand times. With that in mind, it just seemed stupid to shelf it entirely without using it for good when I can. After all, why have it in the first place if there’s never an actual use for it? Why use some of the most dangerous chemicals known to mankind as medicine? If I’ve got the Jet and the Addictol, it’d make sense to pass them out at the same time. I spent hours trying to fine-tune and test my hypothesis. Luckily, I didn’t actually need to turn in some kind of report, nor did I feel the need to Twiligh-tify my testing. 

Dawn was only a few hours away when I finally settled down for bed, holding my plans to myself. Even if Stefano’s bed was decent enough to steal, I only actually got a couple hours of rest at best. I’d even changed the sheets and all before lying down, or at least I’d had someone else do that… On top of having a few more people continue getting the place cleaned up while I was in the mood for snacks. Abusing my power didn’t even cross my mind until I finally got a moment to relax away from everyone else. 

Obviously, that’s exactly what I was doing. Abusing power that I shouldn’t really have in a place I had no business showing up in. I just didn’t think about it much. Even then, what good would all that brainstorming have done me? I could’ve woken everyone in the building and just got the shite done and over with…

I chose to wait until I’d gotten a bit of shut-eye, having been left unbothered throughout the most night. The morning was a touch dreary between waking up in a drug-den sober and England’s usual weather. It kind of just made me miss Ponyville… And wonder if I’d be going back. It had been one of the first thoughts on my mind after touching down on Earth, but it… I just didn’t really have enough time to sit and think. To process, I should say.

Journal time is valuable, and I should probably take more while here on Earth…

… Should probably get started, in any case.

As little as I’d expected from junkies that had been reformed in ten hours, Slick had kept things running, if not sprinting. As far as his usual schedule went, he was keeping up appearances as per my commands. Although we didn’t chat long before I got to work myself, making calls and doing Dark Magically, my first word of the day was with him. It presented differently between folk, but there seemed to be lingering effects from the magic. For most, tt was just a difference in approach or a bit of a lighter tone when addressing me. Apparently Stefano deferred to me without needing the Dark Magic, at least when it came to small shite. Like, I’d blasted him with plenty over the hours and more directly than most… Guy acted like the most reliable mate I’ve ever known.

Nothing in mind really made me worry about Stefano’s behaviour, though it was intriguing enough to catch my attention and make me explore the rest of those affected. Dark Magic could do weird shit depending on the user and their intent, but I hadn't really meant to subjugate anyone. Thankfully, after asking around for about thirty minutes, I more or less came to a conclusion. While most people weren’t hostile toward me, it was the folk who’d been exposed to the Dark Whispers more than the others who seemed to be more ‘respectful’ toward me, so to speak.

Knowing that, I headed back to Stefano’s office and focused as best I could… There was a lot I wanted to say, and having heard the tales of the folk who’d wound up slumming or working in the Brick Mansion just… Frustrated me, because I already knew that people won’t fuckin’ help themselves. Not if it’s too hard. Sometimes you have to help folk to make them help themselves. When I sorted the message out, I nodded to myself and cracked a small grin. 

Stefano was kind enough to let me change my mind on what I was doing, so I cleared my throat before channelling the magic again. I was about to start, but glanced around. Hm… Few too many here for this one. “Oi, everyone except Slick, yeah?” All eyes were on me in moments. “Leave the room, wait wherever you prefer for the next five minutes.” Again, my orders were absolute in a land where no one actually had magic. “Alright, now Stefano…”

“Yeah, Chief?”

The slight raise of his brow and the direct eye-contact were both odd from the man. Hell, I don’t think he’d sneered all morning, and that in and of itself was strange… Yeah… I’m gonna start with you, Slick. “Stefano Sagiano; From this moment forth, you will endeavour and persevere as you strive to become a moral being, one to lead and aid the efforts we undertake. As Co-Founder of the Safe in Arms Coalition, your main goal will be to expand the organization through legal means while helping to spread our edict to any who would hear us. You, Stefano, shall lead the way for many onto the pat of a better future, free from addiction, hatred, murder, and violence.” I gave him a second, but the glassy look was still in his eyes. “Do you understand?”

“Yeah, crystal clear, Mate. I’m all for it.”

I looked around, but… He was serious. “... Can you hit up Salvatore and gather your forces in Gollum?”

“Easy shit, bruv, no problem at all.” Stefano waved it off and went towards his phone, pausing. “Wait… Uh… What do I say?”

This fucker- I’m- Magic? Is this- Oh hell… My thoughts were anywhere other than the filing drawer I tried to keep them in, but you get used to it in Equestria. “Right, tell him you’re prepping for a big move on a rival. Whichever you think would be most plausible.”

Slick scoffed. “Titty Terry and Scuff are shitbags, he’ll move on them inna heartbeat.”

It took him ten seconds to make the call after he said that, and to his credit, he sold the fuck out of my gambit. He absolutely deserved an Oscar for the vitriol he was spouting while making a request from Savage himself. Hell, even his older brother seemed impressed with the notion and agreed when he could get a word in edgewise. They spent a few minutes getting the logistics together, but I really didn’t have to wait long before Stefano hung up, spread his hands, and smiled.

“Damn,” I commented, nodding my approval. “We’re gonna have to start calling you ‘Shaker’ Sagiano, the way you get shit moving.”

“Right?” He nudged me. “The man for the job, am I right? I’ve gotcha, Kaid, no problem~”

I chuckled, shaking my head. “Man among men, mate, ya are. The meet-up’s tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yup, it’ll take time to get the gents gathered, and we gotta leave a few on site to keep peace. Never too many eggs in the basket.”

“Never too many lambs for the reverend’s flock-” I started, dripping sarcasm from every pore.

Stefano took it entirely too seriously. “Yeah, I’d call ya that.”

“What? The Revenant Reverend-” I joked.

“Reverend Revenant, if ya want.”

I blinked… Are you sober?”

Stefano shot me a look, smirking with a question behind his look. “Yeah, more so than a while.”

“... Honestly, that kind of explains the insanity, but you’re still the man for the job.”

“Thanks?” He scratched his head. I would have too, but I wasn’t trying to be rude. The name was dumb.

“Right. Yeah, so uh… Can I borrow the intercom-thing, or…?”

He snapped his fingers. “Yeah! Press the button and go for it. Anyone questions it, I’ll shank ‘em-”

“But don’t do that, though.”

“Pussy.”

Don’t snark him- “You would stab your fellow man in front of the Reverend Revenant?”

I was fuckin’ joking, but he bowed his head. “Sorry, sir.”

… It was genuinely hard to reply, so I chose not to and went on with my day, trading him spots behind the desk. One last time, I put my words in proper order and pressed the red button. “Those who would hear me, hear me well; From this moment forth, as you take each breath, with every heartbeat in your chest, you will no longer be shackled by addiction. Withdrawal will be a shadow of your past, and no burden to you. From this moment forth, your hands will not take that which you have not rightfully earned, nor strike the innocent without cause. To aid your neighbour, kith, kin, and fellow being is to find happiness in community. You, as you hear my words, shall not seek confrontation, though be not afraid of holding your ground. Be prepared and willing to defend yourself, as well as those held dear. As others would aid you, so too would you lend your aid.”

Strangely enough, as much as I’d actually been using my magic for once, I wasn’t all that hungry. Once I culled the magic and had a seat, I was a bit more knackered than I was expecting, but I’d also gone after a considerably wider audience. At least not while I was sitting down. When Stefano actually let someone into office to see me, I had to stand and realized that I was, in fact, rather fucking starving.

I also came to realize something else when the third person started thanking me for helping them see ‘the better path’. In fact, I could plainly recognize that I’d started a cult once I got down the first couple flights of steps. Just… The sheer amount of voices offering praise in some form was… Weird? Like, it was awkward one on one, but as I walked through the Brick Mansion and received people’s gratitude for mere words… 

Christ almighty, I would’ve been ill if I could think about it.

Thankfully, I was allowed to leave for Nandos and consume my sacrifice snacks en masse, filling two bags of the four I’d ordered with the remnants of my snacks. Yes, my mouth was ablaze for a while, but no. No, I regret nothing. That said, Stefano himself and one of his usual goons were chauffeuring me around for the time being. I didn’t think we’d been gone all that long, but when we got back to the Brick Mansion… It actually looked somewhat decent. 

Apparently a lot of the residents had agreed that they just didn’t have anywhere else to go, so they wanted to fix the place up a bit and use it as a bit of a half-way house. Something of the sort, at least. I fully supported the idea, even if I didn’t want any fucking credit for the shite at all. I hadn't said a damn thing about starting community centres or whatever, Stefano’s ‘Reverend Revenant’ shite was starting to get around more and more. It didn’t help that he was calling me that himself while others were following suit.

In any case, the consensus around the ‘Safe in Arms Foundry’ was that people felt… Better. Most of the time, it came as an abstract explanation or plain terms that didn’t paint much of a picture, but there were more smiles on faces around me then than I’d seen at… Any point in my life on Earth. In person, at least. It was… Hard to grasp. I don’t mean to heem-and-haw here, though it’s just genuinely difficult to find the words to describe how it felt to see people happy for no real reason. If not happy, then at least not mad.

It was jarring, but I had shite I had to do anyway and calls to make. As it just so happened, I’d had Stefano stop so we could snag me a phone of my own. I’d kind of just wanted one, but it was going to be important for me to make calls without borrowing someone else’s anyway. As long as things continued decently, at least. A couple years had done a lot for smartphones, to tell the truth. I hadn't exactly had the latest shite before I’d seen Equus and I still didn’t, but the cheap shite was better than ever.

After setting the damn thing up, I made my first call and was surprised when Will answered with, “Kaid?”

“Mate, how’s it-

“Kaid, are you okay, Bruv? What’s goin’ on?”

“Wotcher, Mate. I’m doing just fine, no worries. Also, I cleared the thing on you, so that’s cool,” I replied airily. “But yeah, stuff’s going well. Just getting the ball rolling on some bigger shite, y’know?”

Will’s excitement could have been more convincing. Or perceivable. “... The fuck?”

“Chatted with Slick and we got real cool real fast. Bloke’s real agreeable when you ask nicely and all,” I answered, checking my nails. “Anyway, he’s somewhere around here. I can have him tell you himself if ya want.”

Will’s silence on the other end was golden until the light shifted. “... Kaid… The fuck did you do?”

‘Why the fuck do you sound mad? You’re not gonna die, dumbarse.’ I just considered it good news all ‘round. Why Will would be freaking out as the guy with a target freshly removed from his back… I thought he’d be happy. “... I mean, I used some M-A-G-I-C to sway an opinion or two and… Y’know, helped some folk out with a few wise words.”

He put it in plain words. “... You- Did you use… That stuff to rob free-will from people…?”

I snorted. “Yeah, because people make good choices on their own. It’s not like I’m telling folk to bow to me or-.”

“You can't be serious,” Will whispered.

‘... Uh…?’ “Dead serious, mate. I just got a hundred junkies off of hard drugs and told them to look out for each other. How could that possibly be wrong? Might be cheating, but you can't sit there and say I’m actually evil for-”

“You know damn well how- how evil that is! There’s no other damn word for it!”

“I guess that means I’m the benevolent Anti-Christ then,” I practically spat. “Fuckin’ really, bruv? You takin’ the piss with me or you just lost it all in the shitter, dumping your daily dose of fuckin’ faff? Seriously, are you telling me that a coalition of people that want nothing more than to help each other is-” Actually…? “Hold on. I just figured out how to spread the word.”

Will actually… Sounded a bit afraid. “Kaid, I swear to God-”

… Looking back, Will was speaking wisdom. I just wasn’t prepared to hear it. “Sorry, bruv, I’ve gotta go make the world a better place. Take it easy and tell Bea I said hi when you get home.” I hung up and chuckled to myself. 

It took awhile to find him in the hustle and bustle of the newly founded headquarters of the Safe in Arms Coalition, but I eventually came across Stefano while he was taking inventory of the changes being made. Apparently some of the smarter folk that had hung around were trying to research and figure out how to legitimize the operation. It was frankly astounding to see the magic at work, and… It made me eager to see what else I could accomplish with a little help.

Stefano spared me a few moments of his time with a smile. “Oi! We’re good to go with Big Bruv’s boys. Waiting in the wings, for the most part.”

I nodded. “Better news is hard to come by, though I was thinking about spreading some of that myself.” His brows shot up and he pulled a mischievous grin. “Yeah, I was just wondering how long it would take to get a decent area set up for like… a YouTube video or something.”

“Like, just to record a casual message for someone?” He asked.

I nodded. “Like an inspirational speech or a message to yourself from the past. Something like that.”

“I can get that together by the end of the day, Rev. Won’t even take long.”

“Rev?”

“Reverend Revenant,” He shrugged. “Both start with ‘Rev’.”

“Shut up, Stefano.”

“Oi.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes, sighing. “Yeah, yeah… Now to find something to fill the-” It struck me in seconds. “Well, I know what I’m doin’ next.”

There was already an idea in my mind, especially if I’d technically already saved Will from getting deep-sixed. If I’d already done the thing, was I going to head back to Equestria? It’s not like returning hadn't been on my mind for a while to start, though I really had to sit and consider it for a moment. Thankfully, I didn’t actually have to waste time by sitting still and was able to get someone to drive me around, shopping for shite in general. Still, thinking doesn’t happen as fast as one would prefer most of the time, and tends to keep going long past its welcome.

What I got isn’t important for the time being. Just some shite to work on after I get this done with… Tonight’s going to be interesting, but that doesn’t mean Earth is holding me with much of a grip, if any at all. I’ll take some of the more interesting, portable shite that Equestria just doesn’t have, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to give it some time anyway. I’ve rushed plenty thus far, though… If it was possible to know what was going on back home while I’m gone, that’d be real fuckin’ nice… 

Hm. Before I go and see Graham… If I could go back to Equestria tomorrow, the decision wouldn’t take long. Even if it means leaving that scumfuck alive for the time being… I dunno. I’ll update when I tackle that one

The night saw me in Gollum, specifically in a warehouse I’d seen from the outside exactly one singular time prior. John was with me then, but that was also the last time I saw him… Not the most pleasant memory to have attached to a place. That said, there was hardly a better place to truly plant the seed that I intended. I was there to change the legacy of Savage Sagiano with my own words. To mould it with my own two hands, so to speak, which is doubly ironic… Ah, bad times. And the reason I can tie my shoes one-handed.

In any case, Stefano was… Rarely away from me long enough to piss, let alone for any extended period of time. It hadn't been easy-going in the factory’s courtyard, granted, but I had to admit that it was… Smothersome. A lot of the people I’d directly spoken to with Dark Magic were more than eager to hear what I had, and Stefano practically swore to murder people in my name. It was a weird drive and we talked more than I wanted to about things he shouldn’t have shared. Honestly… I didn’t expect him to treat me like a confessional, but Christ… 

Kinda wanted to kill him for some of the shite he pulled and put people through, but at the same time, committing to ending the man’s life meant that his resources and connections would die along with him. It just wouldn’t do for the big ideas I was putting in motion, and… I mean, Celestia's done some terrible shite herself and I use her as best I can. Sometimes, the aliment to your ailment sucks even fuckin’ worse than the affliction itself. That said, Stefano was proving to be a pennant sinner. A man who genuinely, truly was prepared to ‘right’ his wrongdoings, which was kind of why it felt like confessions or whatnot. 

Maybe he was taking the ‘Reverend’ part a bit far.

In any case, it was hard to fault the air of devotion about the fellow, especially when it came to crossing grounds jam-fuckin’-packed to the gills with some of the scummiest fucks in the country. Honestly, the amount of people that flashed blades or straps at me was ridiculous, especially given that I was walking with Big Boss’ little brother, Slick himself. It was irritating and surprising to be sure, but he fended off the trouble and kept us kosher from pull-up to passing through.

I’d thought the yard was full, and again, the old factory itself was even worse. Between the showers that must’ve consisted of either pure cologne or arse in a stream in turns, I was glad that I’d thought to rub my nose with a bit of menthol outside. Could’ve done more to help myself, but still. It had been a busy enough day thus far and I didn’t need to add that much more to the shite on my plate. Just getting to meet Salvatore ‘Savage’ Sagiano himself was an accomplishment most people didn’t want to achieve, let alone arrange of their own free will. 

Yet, there I was. Passing through the hideout of what had to be the biggest gang in the UK, or at least some extension of an international ring… Kinda reminded me of walking through Day Court when there was actual shit going on, but with far, far more people that would kill me with their own two hands. Generally it was just Luna and Celestia with a few quieter murderers, so to a point, it was nice that the danger wasn’t hiding. 

With that in mind, Stefano was the one in the lead for the time being, and the weight of his name got us through unmolested… For the most part. Someone might’ve tried grabbing my arse, but I’m not super sure. In any case, we rode an elevator, walked some more, then I had to be bagged to meet the guy we’d come to see. A touch unnecessary, but still. Slick unbagged my beautiful countenance once we were in Savage’s office, which was surprisingly familiar. Less familiar was the man behind the impressive desk in the nice chair with the mean mug.

I’d only ever seen Savage maybe… Two? Three times in my life? He’d seemed the same whenever I’d glimpsed him, I think, but those memories are foggy. The one time I recall meeting him face to face, he’d spared my life for ratting on Slim John. Even then, he’d been somewhere between a wispy playboy and a sharp brick. That is to say, he was handsome and a touch rugged, but that’s from Sammy’s mouth and just happens to be accurate. I’d always though he was fearsome. A man to avoid crossing, but the years had treated the guy like shite, honestly. 

He should’ve been nearing fifty and all that, but Savage was looking more like an old lion by the day. His mane that had formerly made him the live-action version of Scar sans namesake was streaked with silver that threatened to overtake it all. Of course, I mean the man actually just had thick, long hair. It had thinned a bit over time as he’d taken to the ‘moustachioed mobster’ motif. Even seeing the years drag his skin toward the grave and the atrocities wrinkle into his face, those steely eyes he’d had still pierced.

It just wasn’t that threatening when I: cannot die, will come back after death, can easily and readily prevent said death, crush his skull with my bare hands as individual appendages, separate his head from his shoulder from where I stood, and it really just didn’t leave a mark considering that Luna and Celestia can and would do all the same to me. Y’know, if I was dumb enough to try their patience past my allotted sampling.

His arched brow mimicked my own, and I assumed that he was of the same opinion that I had. ‘I am the boss here, you bow to me’. Each aimed toward the other, and we had our ways of enforcing that. Mine were just more effective by miles. “Oi, how’s it going, Savvy?”

He scoffed and Stefano chuckled. “Big Bro? Remember Kaid Gadai?”

Savage levelled a look at his brother. “You kill him or I do.”

Man was dead serious about it, too. It seemed wise to speak up. “I’ll walk out of here alive and do as I please afterwards. You are loyal to me above all else, and such stands for all in this room. Am I clear?” With hindsight, it was a bit more broad than intended, but it still accomplished what I wanted.

After some murmured assent in various tones, Savage proved to be more wilful than most. “You can leave at your leisure, Mr. Gadai, but you will not command me.”

I blinked, kinda shocked. Then again, I was honestly nearing exhaustion and kind of just buzzing from fumes at this point. It made sense to stock up on some juice before I tried to finalize my orders. “Fair enough, but uh… I will request that food be brought here. Enough for a family of six or eight.”

Savage nodded. “As you wish.”

Granted, he kind of just added the order on top of my own since a pair of guys were already on the move, but I appreciated the gesture. “Thanks, Sir. Mind if we have a seat?”

Salvatore flicked his hand, reaching into his suit for a cigarette case and a lighter. “I’ve no reason to say no.” He nodded toward his brother. “Stefano, how’ve you been?”

Slick bobbed his head toward me. “I listen to this guy and things work out.” Savage stared at him. “Oi, you got it all wrong. Man’s got a way of making it all… Make sense, y’know?”

“... Sure. Of course.”

The way Savage’s eye twitched as he stared me down wasn’t the best sign, but if my magic was getting weaker, then I needed to conserve some. Then again… Savage was a powerful ally, more so than most. “An alternative perspective can show one more than they ever thought there was. You will see in time, Salvatore.”

As long as I’d known of the man, I’d had plenty to fear from him. Hell, whatever made him resistant to my magic was enough in the present, but he folded nonetheless. He swept his hand, smoke trailing from his fag as he waved it off. “In time, si, in time.”

Oddly enough, it didn’t take too much more to bend him to my will the same as Slick. Granted, I had to wait until food arrived to fully subdue him, though he was likely one of the tougher minds to crack anyway. As it stood, I devoured the majority of the food brought and continued snacking while Salvatore and Slick put out some orders to get their men ready.

Savage came back around and gestured for me to come over when he stood next to his desk. I saw the little walkie-talkie looking thing and picked it up as I assumed I was supposed to do. “Whenever you’re ready, Signore.”

I bounced my brows, took a breath, and prepared as best I could. By that, I mean I just thought about the two sentences I actually needed at this point. Channelling my magic, I pressed the button and gave my orders. “To those of you listening: Go to the Safe in Arms Coalition website and read the edict. Live by that edict.” 

In my defence, it’s easier to have something that people can read on their own time, and I knew they’d do it anyway. If there’s anything that annoys me, it’s having to say the same shite over and over again, and I’d just given the spiel before we’d gotten to the hideout. No point in reiterating what was already said in the YouTube video. 

Once I’d left Stefano and Salvatore in the office to go and look out over the hundreds of men who’d just heard me, there was a welcome sight to greet me. All of their faces were illuminated by their phone’s screens, and if they weren’t looking at their own, they were sharing with someone else. I didn’t need much more to consider the operation a success, but it didn’t hurt to ask around whenever I could find someone who was already finished with their reading. A direct route down to the main floor wasn’t immediately apparent, so I returned to the office to find Salvatore and his guards finishing up for themselves.

Alright, bruv. Now or never, init? “Well, Salvatore? How are you feeling, Sir?”

He stared at me, kind of smirking before huffing out the first of a few hearty chuckles. “Abbi pieta! You, Reverend… My deepest, and I assure you, unending apologies…” 

I nodded. “For-”

“You already know, Signore. Should you like to hear my sins from my own tongue, I would speak them to you in confidence. However… I know you know.”

The fuck do I know again? Honestly, the gentle, warm smile on the face of a man who could probably match Celestia's body count if he had the time and resources… It was a little unsettling, especially with the reverence behind the soft wrinkles of his eyes and the fact that he’d had my hand broken the first time we met. “Of course, Salvatore, but you’re also right to assume that I just want to hear how you feel. In your own words, y’know?”

I was laying it on a bit thick from the start, honestly. People seemed to have some kind of fixation with me after a dose of Dark Magic, which proved to hold true as Salvatore explained, “Ah, then… I suppose I feel ‘sober’, so to speak. Like the haze of some drink has cleared in the middle of a sip.” He rolled his hand forward, gathering his words and he grimaced and shook his head. “... My apologies, but I just don’t seem to have the words. If you need a general idea… I feel better, Reverend. I thank you, for I feel… Much, much better.” 

Salvatore spread his hands and chuckled, which was a bit of a relief. As far as I knew, he’d have just killed me if my magic was failing. His guards were smiling at me too when I checked, which was a touch odd/. That said, Human faces almost feel harder to read than Ponies, but even with that caveat… Whatever danger I’d walked into was fucking ghostly. I couldn’t feel so much as an ounce of hostility, and having been a touch deafened by the amount of people in the building, the sweeping calm coming over the cacophony of heartbeats was…

It was like the sun shining through the clouds during a light drizzle. To when the light breaks through and casts a beam on one particular spot, but… The sun shining through the sprinkle, warming the dreariness with a glow that only comes during that one moment. The vibrancy of the central star breaking through the curtains hanging over the mornings… 

That sensation had always been the best part about living in England. Seeing the greys and muted tones of this fucking country come to life. To see it all in the filter of… Life. Hard to put it any other way than that. It’s something that just doesn’t happen in Equestria. The place is so colourful already, so vibrant with every breeze that passes, it doesn’t need the help anyway… Those moments when light actually shone through the overcast skies had come so randomly when I’d been a citizen of Earth, but even while I was prouder of my people than I could ever recall…

Fuck, I could hardly miss Equestria any more than I did then and there.

Earth… Maybe it was my bias, or maybe I was right from the start, but Equestria didn’t need those special moments to shine. It just did with its architecture and culture. With the Ponies themselves and the magic that coursed through the very veins of the world. Meanwhile… My own home was so pale in comparison that turning people away from evil just felt… Empty, to a point. It felt like we were playing catch up after cheating off the answer sheet, and that I’d stolen that shite in the place. Even as I saw people look up at me with that strange look in their eyes, I had an odd sense of detachment that I couldn’t shake. 

Then again, I was standing in the same room as a man that had sworn to either murder me in cold blood for crossing him. The same guy let me live because he could call on me whenever the fuck he pleased. I had good reasons for withholding my joy. Regardless of those reasons, I would’ve liked to have a bit of respite… Maybe some altruistic warmth? Whatever I’d failed to garner, it was a personal loss. That is, if I’d had the chance at snagging it at all. In any case, Savage Sagiano was grinning at me, his brows furrowing as the seconds passed. To my knowledge, I was just smiling back, though I have to admit that I was kind of lost at that point. A touch numb, if anything.

“Reverend…?”

“Just- Well, just Rev, I guess,” I chuckled. “No sense in going by an old name or a used one-”

“Which I was meaning-” He froze, raising his hands. “Oh, my apologies…” I glanced away for a moment, wondering what the fuck he was on about. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you, Rev.”

… The fu- “No problem, Sir. No offence taken at all.”

“Then I would ask that you call me Salvatore, or… Anything other than ‘Sir’. It feels like-a…” He rolled his hand forward again, then hit the pizza with so much pasta, I thought he was gonna rigatoni the ravioli into fettucini or something. Savage pinched his fingers together and continued with, “It’s like the Pope washing one’s hands; I could not be more humbled in your presence, Signore.”

I stared at him for a second because I’d just had one of the most casually racist thoughts I probably could’ve conjured when he’d done the Italian thing. It was a touch humbling for myself to see that Salvatore actually was serious. Stefano probably felt the same way; Their ways of showing deference were just vastly different. “Salvatore, then... Your question?”

“Ah… What was your name, again? Your birth name, that is. I remember your face well and true, though… It must have been years since we last saw each other.”

I rubbed my neck, cracking an awkward grin. “Well, face to face? We only ever met the one time.” I folded my arms and pursed my lips. “I broke into your house. Apparently it was your actual home. You caught me in your fridge, munching your ham.”

“You’re shitting me,” He barked. “You- No…”

“‘Klepto’ Kaid Gadai. Gecko. Slim John’s runman.”

Salvatore nodded, his eyes wide and his lips set in a tight, awkward grin. “... How the years change a man, I suppose. Especially after that man is known to be dead.”

Instantly, my annoyance piqued and almost got him sworn at. “How the- Why does everyone know I’m dead? And no one’s done shit about it?” Slick coughed from his chair, giving me a look. His lips were pursed, and his brows were raised, which was kinda rude. Just the look and the implications. “Oi, don’t look at me in that tone of voice, Stef.”

He shrugged. “Just sayin’, bruv. I kinda had you marked, and uh…” I stared at him. “Oi, wasn’t- I mean,” Stefano cleared his throat and bobbed his head a bit. “Okay, Maxwell wasn’t around and I… Was makin’ bad choices. Your name was comin’ up in certain circles anyway…”

… Wait a fuck-mothering minute… What the fuck- What…? I didn’t even know where to start, but Stefano had already admitted to marking me. “... Slick, was that an open, or was it pick-up on please?”

The actual gun-running drug dealer failed to look me in the eye. “... I’m sorry, Rev… I wanted to tell you on the ride, but… You’re here, yeah…?”

The shock didn’t really let me be angry or even all that upset. Overwhelmed was easily apt for the situation. “... You picked up the mark, Slick. I- We ran business… Fuckin’-”

“So you didn’t know, then,” Salvatore stated. “That’s obvious enough, at least. However, you speak as if you truly did die, only to rise again… Just shy of three years later, no?”

“I’m not Jesus, but thanks for not assuming that I’m a demon,” I nodded toward him, sincerely appreciative. “As for the ‘dead-man walking’ thing I’ve got going on, I need to be officially not-dead or have some kind of different identity. Like… Soon.”

Salvatore nodded. I wasn’t going to ask for anything else, so he ended up waiting to say anything until I scratched my head. “... I can take care of that in an hour, Rev. It’s simplicity itself; barely an inconvenience.”

Stefano raised his hand like he was in school or something. “I-I can get on that…?”

I pursed my lips. It was… Honestly kind of hard to think of what to say to him. On a lot of levels, I was kind of leaning toward just… Splat, y’know? Murk the guy and call it even there. That said, Salvatore would’ve had to approve the move, and I was still technically in his debt. He’d let me walk away after being caught in his own home, and that life led me to Equus in time. On the same vein, Stefano’s actions directly resulted in my transferral to the world I now called home above any other.

That asshole literally ruined my life only for me to go on, having a relatively happy and extremely prosperous life, which was doubly mind-boggling. Slick, his brother, and their guards all seemed to be awaiting my verdict, but I really couldn’t figure out if I should be irate, grateful, or dismiss it altogether as ‘the past’... Then again, it wasn’t like Stefano was smirking or trying to laugh it off. He’d already proven to be loyal to me and whatever cause I’d come to conjure in time. If I was going to help the Human Race, then I was gonna have to accept that forgiveness can't be withheld, at least not on my part. We, Humans, do pretty fuckin’ terrible if you just leave us be, but if you lead by example… 

I nodded toward Stefano, trying to vent the tempest inside through a sigh cast in tungsten. “... I’d appreciate it if you could get the new me done up with. I trust you to do right by me, yeah?”

Slick finally glanced back up at me. “... Yeah, I will. Um… Any preference on a name, or…?”

Same old, same old. “Maximus Gadai, I guess. It’ll do for the time being.”

He nodded again and inhaled, holding it for a moment before he let it go. “I… Yeah, I’ll get it done. And uh… Rev?”

… Man looks like he’s five and just got caught in the candy jar. “It’s… Well, Stefano, I can't say it’s fine. I’m not really okay with the fact that you helped hunt me down. We broke bread. We both had a marker on each other at some point, and I’m pretty sure I never cashed yours in.” He nodded, confirming it. I’d pretty much forgotten myself. Just hadn't been relevant to my life. “... Yeah. By streets, I shouldn’t let it go…”

“I know. I get it.”

My head hurt, so I pinched and massaged the bridge of my nose. “... Y’know what, mate? You owe me, and I’m gonna collect. Crossed me on a marker, yeah?” Stefano swallowed hard enough to make me look at him. Man’s own throat was trying to kill him, if I was hearing correctly. 

For all the negative things I could’ve said about Slick Sagiano two days prior, he actually surprised me when he just nodded again. “Yeah, I did. I will, Rev. I will pay you back, one-hundred percent.”

“Damn straight. Stefano Sagiano, you will do everything in your power to lead the Safe in Arms Coalition above and beyond the call of duty. You, yourself, will spearhead the expansion and maintenance of our project. We clear on that?”

The man stared at me. “... Is that it?”

“Yeah. Dedicate your life to the cause-”

“Oi, I was already gonna do that…” He bitched like a fuckin’ muppet, all too offended. “I mean… Like, what should I actually do to- Like, make up for it…? What did Judas do…?”

“Hung himself, but the Reverend would clearly avoid that conclusion, Stef,” Savage snorted. “If you haven't noticed yet, then a new day is dawning as we speak. It’s not going to be easy to take charge of what’s to come.”

Slick raised his brows in agreement, though I have to admit that I didn’t know what exactly they meant. The SIAC thing wouldn’t be that difficult for men with their connections. I mean, if it was going to be a UK-based charity, then yeah, there was plenty that would go with it, but I didn’t like the weight in Savage’s words. It wasn’t worth bringing up, though. Not in my book. If they wanted to go even further while helping people, I could live with it as long as they didn’t over-expand and collapse.

“I believe in you gentlemen. If anyone can get our mission off the ground…” I shrugged and gestured toward the brothers.

Salvatore scoffed. “You wouldn’t steer us wrong.”

“Thank you.” I nodded toward him before looking at the younger brother. “Stefano, you understand what I want you to do?”

He nodded. “Absolutely, just ain’t an easy task.” I didn’t even get to follow up on the look I was giving him. “I’ll spread your message, Rev. Don’t you worry a moment, mate.”

“Then I won’t, I guess…” I shrugged and pulled my phone out, glancing at Salvatore and giving the device a wiggle. “You mind?”

“... Would it matter if I said ‘yes’?”

“Yes, of course,” I answered honestly. “It’s still your building and I still owe you for the life-loan.” The man stared at me as if I was the one being unreasonable. “... Yeah, okay then.” 

If that interaction wasn’t awkward enough, the fact that our video had dropped maybe four hours prior, yet already had two thousand views was icing on the cake. It didn’t really seem viable since… It was a single video on an old, rebranded channel. Curious indeed, but I chose to ignore it and focus on dinner for the time being. Savage actually invited me over to stay with him and his family since Stefano wasn’t going to be available. In his own words, the younger Sagiano swore to uphold the ‘honour and integrity’ of something that didn’t technically exist yet, fucking off to get the ball rolling on… Whatever he was actually doing.

The finer details weren’t really interesting, nor did I wanna deal with that shit. Magic is handy as fuck, though. I mean, if I didn’t wanna deal with something I could literally just tell someone else to do it, but at the same time… Anyone would have to acknowledge that it was all essentially brainwashing and mind-control. Hell, if not just outright… That stuff. You know what I mean, book. Shut up.

Anyway, Stefano took off while Salvatore and I actually sat down for a talk. I didn’t initiate it or anything, though he kind of felt like an easy-in. When it came to gauging how people felt about me, it felt pertinent to gather as many sources as I could. The opinions of the populace, so to speak. The message I was sending in general wasn’t exactly supposed to bend the average person to my will, rather the folk that needed a little more enforcement to stay away from dark deeds. In fact, the only time I’d actually needed or wanted to demand loyalty was with the Salvatore. That said, there was a certain reverence in the tones most people tended to greet me with. Delving into the possible issue struck me as wiser than leaving it to fester.

Our conversation started in the office and covered Savage’s general feelings toward the message. I soon learned that the overall consensus was that ‘The Edict’ as most were calling it, just ‘made more sense’ as a code to live by. As far as I could see, Dark Magic would carry through my voice in digital format and allow for instructions through text if needed. There just seemed to be the odd side effect of garnering strange looks from people I talked to. It would be all well and good if they weren’t ogling me. I mean…

To a point, it’s kind of hard to describe, but the folk I got to chat with all seemed to hang off my every word… Made it feel like I was obligated to be on my best behaviour, like even swearing in front of them would come off as ‘wrong’. The amount of respect I was garnering as we made our way through the factory and the courtyard was frankly a bit jarring. Again, it was a really weird feeling and not one I held fondness for. I’d just been through the area a handful of minutes ago and had been threatened at least twice for walking too close. Now… The very same people were looking at me with some kind of Reverend-Reverence. Humans seem to be a lot less… Reserved about approaching ‘celebrities’ than Ponies. While I’d had more than my fair share of folk stop me for a chat in Equestria, it generally wasn’t to discuss stuff I’d done rather than what I was doing. To say that I appreciated Salvatore’s un-Pony-like awareness of my mood would be a monumental understatement. While I might’ve been popular at the moment, Salvatore still ran the show. 

While we continued our conversation on the way back to one of his homes, I couldn’t help but find more to hate about the man as he spoke. Savage was a fucking animal up until the hours prior, and… I kind of wanted to kill him for the sheer level of atrocities he’d committed, let alone the amount. I sat across from a well-dressed lunatic and truly had to consider my place in the world. Salvatore spoke of mutilating… Women, children… Anyone and anything that might further his criminal empire. He talked about it so casually that I would’ve missed the far-away look in his eye if I gave into my disgust. 

As little as I wanted to credit Salvatore for… anything after he let the truth start spilling, I had to admit that the man was still worthy of an ounce of respect. Granted, that was about all I’d ever be able to afford him. On the ride, I regarded Salvatore as I would Adolf, I guess. The King, not the Chancellor. In any case, Salvatore was a savage. It’s why he got the damn name in the first place, but at the same time, he still did straight work. Like with me, for example. He let me go because of the same bucket-fucked mentality that made him blind mothers in front of their children. The same scum-sucking mindset that made Savage break a couple bones and let me walk away with my life and a meal was the same one that pushed him to end hundreds of lives by proxy. 

If anything, I kind of had a moment there and it made me need to talk to Noir. To see what she would have to say as far as the verdict for the worst of Humanity. After all, she herself had done some rather Geneva Con-Carnage type things that were conventionally monstrous. Most of the talk I had with Salvatore was just hearing his crimes and conscience, but… Does it count as a conscience if I more or less forced it into his head?

That thought lingered on my mind throughout dinner with his admittedly naggy wife and spoiled brats. Savage spoke and people listened. Even his own family seemed afraid of him, though if I had to say why, it would probably have something to do with his wife being Irish as fuck. A more tactless tongue would’ve asked why none of the kids looked like her in the slightest, though I did need some assurance in another field. Salvatore apparently wasn’t going to lie to me any time soon…

Bastard openly admitted that all four kids were his by blood, it’s just that two of the mothers are a little harder to find than your average fox. Mostly since foxes don’t spend every moment underground… I didn’t know what was worse. The fact that Salvatore just didn’t really seem phased by the statement, or the fact that his current wife and kids were apparently well aware. It really did make me question whether it was… Right, to help a person even somewhat like Savage. Made me wonder if letting him live was really the right thing to do, but I just couldn’t give that impulse consideration. He was worth a million times more alive than he’d ever be dead.

I would’ve continued speaking with Salvatore if he’d accepted the offer I made to share a drink, but he had news to share with his wife after walking me to my borrowed room. As a guest in his home, it was way out of my list of options to deny him time with his family. Yeah, politeness took prudence over all, even if I was still wondering if I should spare him… My mounting migraine made the decision far simpler than it could’ve been as I bid him farewell for the night. Despite the two of us having technically dismissed each other, he did have one more inquiry for me when I shook his hand.

“Again, Salvatore, I appreciate your hospitality. If there’s anything I can do for you-”

“Ah, about that… I do have a request, Reverend.”

I took my hand back, nodding. “No time like the present, then.”

He nodded back and sighed, scratching at his chin. The fire that had always heated the steely gaze he’d held for so long was finally turning to coals. “... Would you tell me if you thought there was hope for one such as I, Reverend? Or would you allow me to struggle for a goal I’ll never achieve?”

It took me by surprise, which bore an honest answer as a mark of acknowledgement. Man basically asked what I was asking myself for half the damn night. “I don’t know if there is hope for you, Salvatore. You might not think that much of when we first met, or maybe you do. I know you let me walk from that one. Grace of God, perhaps? That said… Would you forgive yourself? If you were on the other side of the blade or barrel; Would you forgive Savage Sagiano for what he’s done to you?”

I thought it was kind of an obvious question. In fairness, ‘hope’ was a vague term, even if I knew that he meant that he intended on atoning for his sins. Whatever it meant to him, hope just isn’t something I’ve ever believed worth having, and I truly had no expectations from Salvatore. There were hypotheses and suppositions, but not results I explicitly desired. I couldn’t say that I had hope for him because the magic would either hold, or it would fade. 

He answered with a wry grin and a tired chuckle. “Two days ago, I would have killed you for saying that… Regardless of whether I asked, I would have killed you for the satisfaction… Now? Now I believe that ‘Sicilian Savage’ no longer has a place in my presence. Has no place being my presence… To my very soul… Your words have reached beyond the span of… il percorso di un proiettile, like the path of- Agh,” He grunted and swept the thought away with a gesture, “you know what I mean. How life can change in but a few simple words when the message comes clearly, no?.”

“It tends to change most when one least expects it to.” I nodded along. It’s not like it was a surprise that he’d been prepared to have me put down, though I was glad to hear how his mind had changed. “So what are you gonna do, Sal? If I could be so bold, that is.” He laughed it off with a small flick of his hand. “But if I had to say, I think your motivation seems to be more than enough to travel your path, Sal. Any particular plan for redemption?”

“Ah… I’ve got money and power, but a man’s worth is measured by the salt in his sweat, no?” I bounced my brows. He wasn’t wrong, per se. “I think I can do with… Less. Living comfortably is no issue, but… Perhaps it’s time to give back. To take less and give more.”

I shot him my usual grin. The real one, for once. “A few simple words, yeah? All a man needs sometimes.”

Salvatore held his fist over his heart and nodded a bit deeper than usual. It wasn’t until he parted that I realized he’d more or less bowed to me in his own way… Like a salute, almost. With that on my mind, I actually entered the room he’d lent me for the night. It was plenty nice and all; Rather spacious for a guest room… I just really didn’t care. Savage had multiple homes that would all at least equate to my own back in Ponyville, if not overshadow it. That said, my house happened to be near a forest with open land in a flourishing country with considerable better air quality. Also, I’d literally lived in the capital city’s castle and had seen Celestia's private chambers on a good few occasions. New-Money opulence doesn’t mean shit in the face of austerity tinged with the wealth accumulated over millennia of existence. 

Actually, now that I think about it, Fancy and Fleur’s sheer wealth is astounding… Savage is a fucking Top Dog, as far as I know. Big Man, type, y’know? Even then, I think his mansion just barely equates to Fancy and Fleur’s. It’s not something that I really care about, but it’s just odd to think about how I went from living in an abandoned church to walking the halls of palatial spaces, both on and off my home planet.

I almost started the journal shite, but I really did want to talk to Noir as soon as possible. At the same time, a touch of paranoia made me hesitate. The cause wasn’t clear at the moment, so I dived into the mindscape, trying not to worry about the thing. As far as things go, it worried me because I didn’t know what it was, though seeing Noir abated the uneasiness quickly enough. Her tight lips and folded arms, however, left me a little less enthused.

“Oi, opinions?”

“Kill Salvatore. And Stefano. There are better insects to lead your charity, let alone people.”

I spread my hands. “Then why help them?”

“Why help me?” She asked, tossing me a weird pitch if I’d ever seen one.

I took a swing at it. “Because you’re awesome, and I enjoy you for stuff other than your nice words.”

“Cease your idiocy, Maximus.” Her tone could’ve been kinder, but she was making a point. “You asked my opinion, and I fully believe that you have no business with the Sagiano Brothers. They are vile creatures, and Stefano had you killed. Maximus, the height of foolishness looks up to you for guidance.”

“You also said I have no business loving you, yet I do that all the time as well as looking up to you for guidance.”

Noir scoffed, but couldn’t keep her lips from curving ever so slightly. “... And you do as you please more often than not anyway. It would be foolish to advise you to give up on such rotten fruit. As it stands… You are a horrendous being and an anus beyond all ‘arseholes’.”

I took the reverse-compliment for what it was worth. “What can I say? I wasn’t the sweetest apple to fall into Equestria’s yard or… Something like that. Fuck if I know, actually kinda tired-”

“Well, that could hardly be any less surprising, you utter lout,” Blackberry practically barked. Understandably taken aback, I held a hand up. She pointed at me, narrowed her eyes, and continued with, “You have been spending my magic as if it were free, you absolute brick.”

“... Brick.”

“Yes, you brick-brained barnacle.”

I didn’t have a reply to that. “... Sorry.”

“Are you?”

“... I think so?” Am I…? Is she actually mad at me? Sorting that shite out was kind of hard. Noir seemed annoyed, that much was clear. However, she could either be prepared to show just how irritated she actually was or just be faking.

The flick I couldn’t see coming helped elaborate before she said a single word. “You should be. It does not ache, though I would at least consider asking the source of your abilities whether you can exhaust the supply, no?”

“Oh, then yeah…” I rubbed my forehead, squinting at the giant twat through one eye. “I’d apologize, but fuck…”

Noir snorted. “... If you were to apologize again, I would reject your words. You hold no remorse for that which you should truly be ashamed of.”

Sniffing, I thumbed my nose and braced for bad news. “What did I do?”

Her answer was about as direct as trying to tie down a cloud. “... As I said, if you held remorse for your actions, you would know. I have long since learned that it is easier to allow you time to learn, rather than giving you a simple answer… You would say that sometimes love has to be… ‘Hands-off’, and it is an ideal I share.”

“... Well, fuck me, then. I kinda need to know before I shit the bed, Noir, maybe literally.”

Blackberry grimaced. “... Do you truly see nothing about your time on Earth that you would change…?”

It took an entire sentence for me to get it. No, not second. We were on the same page.  “... Okay, yeah, I get it now, but-”

Noir’s shoulders slumped a bit as her face fell. “Maximus… My beloved pupil…”

“Humans have had thousands of years to change, Noir. Fuck those guys-” Her brows nearly collided with the speed the came together. “I mean- Yeah I- Well- I-” I groaned. “Noir… I didn’t even like people to begin with, and I know I’m Human-”

“And yet you would abandon your race, only to wrest their will and essentially their freedom from them.” She waited for a response that I didn’t have. “A rose by any other name, Maximus. Whether the seed grows slowly as it does in Celestia's garden, or blooms out of control as I fear it will…”

“... So it’s too late to fix what I fucked up, basically.”

“Did you even fuck up?” She shrugged, dropping her hands. “... Believe me when I say that I… I understand your decision and the reasoning. I believe I do, at least. However… I only speak as I do so that this does not rain on your psyche in time. You have committed something you yourself would call a grave sin, yet your intentions could hardly have less to do with bettering your own standing… What you have done is surely a sin, Max, though to call it folly is inaccurate.”

“... Maybe Celestia was right, then.”

“Does that mean you were wrong?”

I scoffed, nearly smirking before I about lost my face. My hand flew to my mouth and I took a calming breath, laughing it off. The blow was a hard one;  “... We both know I agreed with her, Noir. That’s… I know I’m not a bad candidate. Not the worst choice, but… You didn’t have to… I…”

My Mentor laid her hand on my shoulder, though meeting her gaze was more difficult than anything I’d experienced on my return-trip thus far. “Max…” She waited until I could finally hold eye-contact to kiss my forehead. “The hardest decisions are not made by the weak. The toughest choices often result in the best outcome. Your efforts have laid a path. How it twists and turns is up to you, is it not?”

“It is… But you’re a cunt for comparing me to Celestia.”

“You compare me to her frequently.”

I scoffed, snatching the aside like fruit from the market while on an empty stomach. “It’s not my fault that you’re both tall and-” She squinted at me. “Regal?”

“Yes. Regal. We both carry an aura of authority, no?”

“You more so than her, but yeah.”

Noir closed her eyes for a moment to fight the enemy with her full focus. Over the span of a second, Blackberry prepared for a war that had been coming since the beginning of our conversation; A battle destined to bring glory to the mindscape and her name. However, her preparations and strategies all turned out to be for naught. A moot point. Her lips curved against the battlements she’d erected and she facepalmed while the forces of Smiles shattered her defences. Her eyes opened, destroying her focus. Noir’s breathing came in spurts as she lost the war. I’d known she would from the start.

She grinned and burst into giggles before rolling her eyes. “You absolute suck-up. If you had more brown on your nose, I would ask you to dig up truffles on my behalf.”

I threw a puffball mushroom at her because I’d never actually had truffles. “How’s that?”

Noir went to answer, held her hand up, then proceeded to pinch her nose and sigh. “... I shall not hit you. However, I must ask about your feelings towards the global response of your actions. So far, it would seem that the ‘Safe in Arms Coalition’ has members that see no reason to follow any other than yourself.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’ll die down if I keep my face out of the way, I think. Maybe they start googly-eyeing Stefano instead or something. Either way, as long as I can get around without being bothered too much…” While I enjoyed talking to Noir and had gotten exactly what I’d needed from her, the desire to sit and relax for a moment was stronger than I could bear. 

The pond was my first choice, as per the usual. I’d intended to sit alone, though Noir’s extra-big chair looked rather inviting. She was also looking at me, so I teleported over and received the snuggles I’m owed as her pupil. “Good boy.”

I snorted. “You say that like I’m not just using you for warmth or something.”

Noir gave me a squeeze, sighing. “And I would need little more to confirm my suspicions. What weighs on your heart, Dearest One? What would worry you so deeply that you would hide it from even myself?”

Her breasts pressed against my back as I laid my lips on her forearm. As little as I wanted to broach the topic, I’d wanted Noir’s opinion in the first place, even if I’d apparently hidden it from her. “… Just… I guess I’ve been wondering if what I said in the first place was even the right move, y’know? I mean, yeah… If the magic holds true and my intent is the driving force, then reasonably people shouldn’t steal or slap folk anymore. Rape, theft, murder should all be off the board. At least, not until the magic fades or something like that, I guess. I…”

Blackberry hummed as she squeezed me. “And you would have my input on this?”

“... Yeah.”

I was talking to Noir, so it was a given that she already knew that I was wavering over being reckless. That said, she was also the one person I trusted above all others to turn off her own feelings to give me an accurate analysis of how I’d fucked up. Her chuckle was… Unexpected. “Well… In truth, my issue lies with the magic used to enact your plans rather than that which you have set in motion in and of itself. I lived many years as a mostly mortal mare, and I truly despised the average person for much more than station. My value of life was painted by my experiences, and I murdered thousands upon thousands to get my way. Genuinely, regardless of your opinions, I would not offer myself the amnesty you offer unto others. You used your words to get your way.  Still evil, but your punishment is to be a better person rather than death. You are a consistent man, at the very least.”

I rolled over. “The fuck.”

Noir had the nerve to raise a brow at me. “What?”

“Consistent!?”

“Yes, fool. Consistent.”

“How!?”

She scoffed. “I lay directly before you. There is no need to raise your voice.” I shot her a dirty look, but she returned it with a raised brow. “Maximus, if you actually force me to state this glaring, flamboyant piece of information, I may very well hit you.”

“Well, don’t hit me, ‘cause we both know I can't really force you to do fuck all.” Blackberry pursed her lips and blinked lazily, driving home just how oblivious she assumed I was. “Oi, if it was that obvious-”

Noir cut me off. “Gryphonia, first mission. Why did you fight by Crimson’s side?”

Well, that’s actually obvious. “Because I thought he was gonna get himself killed if I didn’t-”

“So you protected the fool after he made his own choice because you felt it was the right thing to do.”

“... I mean, it was.”

“And when you returned to Ponyville with the intent to kill Applejack?”

“... I let her go because she was already guilty, Noir… You know that. Not much I coulda done to make things worse for her-”

“Not within your morals, no. Nashoba would have killed all of them if you asked her to do so, even if time had passed.”

“Wouldn’t do that anyway. Shit was more or less my business.”

“And yet, despite your hatred and disdain for Applejack’s well-being, you saw that she was suffering and refused to contribute to her misery. You saw that her pain was destroying her; That her crimes were consuming her.”

“Okay, so I could be less nice, I guess.”

Blackberry rolled her eyes. “In any case, it is rather ‘on-brand’ for you. Even if it means giving up your own gain, safety, or standing, you seem to care more for the betterment of others than your own satisfaction.”

“... Shut up and stop that.”

“Stop what-”

“What you’re doing. Stop what you’re doing.”

“I would if I knew what I was doing.”

I snorted and buried my face in her chest. “... Whatever…”

“‘I don’t like to feel good! I like to feel evil!’,” Noir mocked, chuckling as she stroked my hair. “... A more difficult being is a struggle to find. Luckily, I do not believe I will lose you terribly soon.”

“You’d better not…”

… Honestly, there was more on my mind and I probably should have asked for her thoughts, but my energy evaporated as if it were an unlucky raindrop hitting a camper’s pan. Kind of just out of nowhere. Beyond feeling tired, I just couldn’t muster up the strength to deal with Earth at the moment. At least in the mindscape, I wouldn’t have to worry about the passage of time or the consequences of every minor step. Didn’t have to consider the oxygen consumed with every breath I was going to take before the next three came.

The tension I’d been dealing with unwound with silent support, regardless of whether I’d even been aware of it in the first place. Every breath blended into the soft rustling of grass and the leaves. It took a bit for me to accept that Noir wanted to go home just as badly as I did. Even if Equestria was essentially the same for her as Earth, it seemed likely that she was feeling the disconnection from the vibe of Equus. I mean… Earth is kinda gross compared to Equestria with all the crap in the air. Hell, if you can even see grass, it still smells like smog and exhaust. 

As little as I wanted to part from Noir, I still had to keep some kind of schedule. That, and I wanted to write this out in the first place… As it stands, I do need to call Will and Bea, see what they’re up to. Hopefully the Earth-thing comes to an end soon, because honestly…? I’m getting more and more tired just being here. I… Fuck it. I miss Equestria. My home. Twilight… It didn’t take a full week of this fucking planet for me to get absolutely fucking sick of it.

… S’all for now. 

Just getting this out. Talked to Noir about it. I dunno. Just not… Not what I expected… 

… Best intentions and all that. I guess it’s not a bad thing that Will hates me… Makes it a little easier to go back to Equestria. He’s safe. All I really cared about, I think… 

Fuck

I didn’t mean for

I just wanted to help

It… I had the best of intentions. Just wanted the world to be safe for the people I can call my own, but… Yeah. I made my choice. No point in dwelling on the regrets. Gotta make the best of it.

Two weeks and about three days at this point. It’s been getting so hard to move around without getting stopped or recognized, I knew I was gonna have to wrap up that nasty little bit of business before it got worse. Graham still needed a visit and I wanted to issue a little gratitude to someone who’d meant a lot to me throughout the years. Since both people were back in Swindon, I was going to have to actually get there. I’d spent most of the week prepping for talk-shows and then… Doing them, so the free time I had was precious as it stood, as well as growing more so by the second. 

The YouTube video’s popularity had exploded within the first five days of it being posted, and my foresight in handing off the reins to Stefano seemed worthwhile. I probably spent more time in his home than he had since we crossed the million-view milestone, though that was mostly just to avoid being found by paparazzi and fans. With my options for getting away from the house being as limited as they were, I had to call in a favour from the Coalition… And honestly, it was kind of terrifying to see that an armoured Bentley was what they chose. No one said shit about needing an armoured car, nor had I fuckin’ asked for something so… Conspicuous. While I actually have been off-world for a while, I still thought it’d be easy as shit to nab a boring Dacia or a Honda. Fuckin’ somethin’, yeah? Not a literal armoured car.

Conspicuous was hardly the word, or at least it normally would’ve been. Props to Stefano and the frankly insane team he’d put together in just a few short days. Swindon just so happened to be hosting some kind of car-show for the day, so the amount of luxury vehicles on the streets would’ve terrified any thief. After all, where there’s money with wheels, there are going to be people who are all too aware of any looking to make moves. Just as I’d suspected, hordes of security were either openly about or in the mix. Officers weren’t exactly in short supply on our route. We didn’t need an escort; There were already so many itchy fingers and furtive glances that we didn’t even stand out.

The cop shop looked the same as it always had, though it wasn’t news. I already scoped the building and had Stefano do some digging with his resources. As little faith as I’d initially had in him, Slick was cleaning up his act with more power than Pinesol. Guy had a grip of the workings of the SIAC, though I really do have to sit down and ask about the ‘WMM’ stuff he mentioned. In any case, four rozzers came out just to escort me in and I wondered how many strings the Sagianos actually had to their pull. That said, both Sal and Stef were well aware of my grudge against Graham, and unsurprisingly supported settling the score without me even mentioning it. Oddly enough, though, he didn’t seem to want Graham to  chance at redemption. That had nothing to do with my input whatsoever, but I respected the opinion all the same.

I recognized one of the guys that brought me and Geoff in- Ah, shit, I’m… Actually getting terrible at this shite. Geoff and Rod were the guys assigned to ‘guard me’ at all times, though they more or less just told people to go away after ten minutes of conversation. Rod usually stays with whatever we’re riding in for the day, so…

Christ. Max, get your shit together. It wasn’t that good.

… Okay, I lied. Restarting when I stop giggling.

Okay, had some tea and a few glasses to keep from giggling too hard. Anyway, Geoff and the coppers escorted me inside, let me skip the usual checks, and were happy to give me the necessary details. I didn’t know if my instructions had been followed until I started chatting up one of the officers. Savage may have retired in the past week or two, but his name still carried more weight than the original word for ‘titin’ if every letter was a kilo. As it stood, I was free to stroll and see the sights as I pleased once we were through the checks and whatnot. Apparently I’d been doing pretty damn well for myself over the past year and change on Equus since no one seemed to recognize me.

Well, save for a certain copper that had bailed me out of hot water a time or several. Lucille Wright made eye-contact with me, and for the first time since ‘The Rev’s Opinion’ crossed one-point-five-million views, I actually felt like smiling. It was a nice surprise to see her, though when I started toward her, Wright seemed a touch confused. She nodded toward a break room and I shrugged, heading in the same direction. No one really seemed to care that some guy and his bodyguard were strolling around freely, despite the fact that I was rapidly growing to be a household name. It wasn’t a bad thing, though the mutterings of ‘Good luck’ as I passed a couple coppers coming from the break room were a touch foreboding.

I asked Geoff to give me a mo’ and he complied, as I expected. After all, we were literally in a cop-shop, so to most people, it would be difficult to find a safer place. I, however, had come back because the shithole wasn’t safe for me. That said, I didn’t hold a grudge against Lucille in the slightest for what happened. Honestly, the woman tried. She really did, and she didn’t have to lift a damn finger in the first place. With that in mind, I closed the door to the break room behind me and offered the staggered officer a meagre grin.

“Officer Wright. Good to see you, I’d say.”

She nodded back, leaning against a window on the opposite wall. “Weird, I’d say.”

“That too, yeah.”

To describe the silence that fell as ‘awkward’ would’ve been as adequate as calling an avalanche a flurry.

“So…”

Lucille nodded. “... Yeah. How’ve ya been, kid?”

I shrugged. “Uh…” A quick check showed that the door was still closed, and I reasoned that the room wasn’t too echoey. “Well… You might be one of maybe three people on this planet I’d tell the full story to… If ya got the time, I guess.”

She nodded again, her lips having never moved from the hard-set line she kept them pressed in while not talking. “To be honest, I don’t. Don’t even know how we’re having this talk, kid. This makes no sense.”

“It makes sense to me, but that’s because I don’t really care about the logistics at this point. My life is weird.”

“I believe you… But… What exactly happened with Graham? What did he want from you?”

“My life and organs, which he took without an ounce of my permission. That is why I’m here right now. A touch upset about that, I am.”

“... The fuck have you got-” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “Makes no fuckin’ sense…”

If she was talking about me being alive, then I understood the feeling quite well. If she was wondering why I was still trying to hold a conversation with her, then… I didn’t know that one myself. Don’t get me wrong, I know I have history with the woman and all. Lucille looked out for me for years, even if she didn’t owe me a damn thing. I’d be bloody daft to not see that in the present time, but… After talking to Will and essentially being disowned, I couldn’t grasp why I was even bothering with her. The only family I gave a shit about on Earth turned his back on me, so… I just didn’t get why having a moment with Officer Wright felt like an obligation.

Without any real topic to cover and the burden of discomfort actually hitting me for once, I figured it wouldn’t be a bad idea to skedaddle. “Yeah, um… Sorry, I guess. Thanks for…” I pursed my lips as she furrowed her brows. “... Sorry.”

“What for?”

“Don't know.”

“... Kaid.” She actually said my name instead of striking the ‘a’ like usual. 

Serious time was afoot, though realistically, I didn’t have an actual reason to be anxious. “Yeah?” 

Lucille stared at me for about a minute before she closed her eyes and sighed, shaking her head. “... You don’t owe me shit, kid… Whatever you gotta do here, I’ll cover it up… Besides, Graham’s had it coming for a long time. I just couldn’t get him myself.”

“Feels like you’re biting your tongue,” I commented, rubbing my neck.

“I am.”

“... Lucille Wright? Afraid to say something?”

The stiffness of her lips finally eased, though her grin was just as fucking smug, sarcastic, and shite-eating as any I’d seen. “Afraid? No. Some things just don’t need said.”

“Then do I really gotta say that I’m a grown man, or-”

She snorted. “I-” Wright stopped herself and grimaced, shooting me a squinty-look. “... I’ve known you for a long time, kid. Thought you were gone…” She nodded a few times and took a deep breath, sighing heavily. “... Point-blank, I coulda done more to help. I’ve known since the third time you showed up here that you were on your own. Kept asking about Babs and Kinkaid knowin’ damn well they’re both dead and been that way ten years now. I could have- Should have done more. Keeping you out of trouble didn’t do shite for ya, other than lead you to… Whatever happened two years ago. Now, it’s a little late for apologies. Not gonna bother. I will admit, though… I was wrong to leave ya on your own. You seem to be making the most of your cards, though.”

… I don’t have much to say to that… Little came to mind, but I knew that I wanted to deck her all the same. It just didn’t really strike me to do it, though. Not like anyone actually owed me a damn thing, so I couldn’t justify the anger building up. I shrugged and nodded. “I do what I can. Take care, Lucille.”

She nodded back, standing around until I left with Geoff. As we walked away, I looked over my shoulder and wondered if following my gut on that one was supposed to be some kinda call. It rustled my jimmies a bit, though dwelling on the irritation just served to sour my mood. Geoff nudged me as we walked, but I’d already slipped the usual mask back on. It was just easier to keep the persona up than it was to deal with my stalkers and fanatics on the level. Even with the Coalition making people generally less shitty, they usually flocked toward me when it was inconvenient.

Mercifully, my magic still works every bit as well as it had from day one back in England. Geoff got a pass, but the ‘Dark Aura’ wasn’t going to let anyone else get too close any time soon. I’d thought I might need to be a bit wary since rozzers tend to be geared a little differently than your average Pony, though trouble failed to test my patience. While I’d expected the result to a point, I’d almost started limiting my own scope on Noir’s magic. There just hadn't been a real need to branch out again. With our way clear, I already knew exactly where we were going and had Geoff stand guard outside. He likely wouldn’t be questioned by anyone who’d like to live, so that was pretty neat.

I entered Graham’s office so casually that he glanced and grunted before looking back at his papers. “Anyone teach you how to knock?”

It was pretty amusing. I closed the door behind me and chuckled softly, smiling at him until he met my eyes again. His brows furrowed, but I was waiting for him to get it. To see who exactly had stopped by. The second his eyes widened, so did my grin. “Silence. Speak when spoken to, and when you do, mind your volume. You will not shout for help. You will not call for assistance. You will not defy me.” He nodded and I chuckled. “Hullo, Graham~ It’s been awhile, ain’t it?”

The Chief stared at me, struggling to move for a few moments. However, shooting me would definitely count as defiance, and that just wasn’t really in his wheelhouse anymore. “... Kaid Gadai… What the fuck is going on here?”

“You killed me. I didn’t stay dead. Honestly, you kinda got me started on that funky little habit, so thanks. Surprisingly enough, I’m great at dying, just not staying dead. I’d say ‘you know how it is’, or something like that, but you probably don't. Just being realistic here.”

“... So magic is real…” Alexander Graham murmured.

I beamed at him. “Magic? Totally. Completely real. So is Hell, oddly enough, but it’s gonna be awhile before you and Satan get acquainted, yeah?”

“Please-”

“No, but I appreciate that you think I’d spare you. Even the slightest shred of hope for that is still flattering. I mean, you’d probably beg wolves not to eat you too, but…” I giggled, setting my hands on my hips. “Ah… So what happened to that Doctor-Guy? The one whose face I violated?”

“... I killed him because I thought his experiments had failed… Please, I have-”

“That’s a shame, I was kinda hoping to finish him off. Looks like you’re pretty merciful after all.” Graham’s eyes shed a few tears, though he didn’t weep. Soundlessly, he stared without pleading or breaking down, and I had to appreciate the resolve. “Ah, it’d be hard to kill you here. That what you’re thinking? That I’m gonna die as soon as I walk out with blood on my hands?”

“... Yes.”

“Well, you’re wrong in assuming that I came here to kill you anyway, so it’s pretty hard to be right about anything else from there.” His eyes widened and my smile deepened. “Oh, Graham… This ain’t one-a them kinds of movies, bruv. You don’t get a bullet to the face and call it there.”

“What are you-” His face fell.

“Mhm. Fates worse than death… Kinda bullshit when you consider Hell, but I can give a nice, slow send-off~” Graham didn’t seem to have much to say to that, so I inhaled, gathering my thoughts and struggling to quell the smile on my face. “Alexander Graham: From the time I finish this edict, you shall witness a decade of agony unparalleled. No drug nor treatment will ever abate the misery of your pain, and the very bones of your form will feel as if they’ve been shattered, ground, and melted back together. The molten, burning ache of your sins will permeate your cells as they wither and die, born anew as they regrow. Your slumber will be wrought with visions and knowledge of that which you have done. As you would cry out in pain, you will find yourself mute to the world. Your voice will ask mercy of no creature, no God, and no Devil.”

I would’ve considered it fine there for most people… But I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop myself from adding to my vindication. I couldn’t hold back from taking more than Graham could afford because he’d taken even fucking more from me. The bastard had never deserved mercy in the first place, and… Hell, there was no telling how many people he’d actually hurt. How many souls he’d defiled like my own. How many innocent folk had been turned inside out by the motherfucker in front of me…

My lip curled as I spoke. I could feel a slight vibrating in my chest with every syllable. “... Your penance will be considered complete after a full decade and ten days. Until your penance is complete, your only reprieve the anguish of your existence will be the full and unabridged list of all that you have done in the name of sin. That which would be similar in action or motive to the trespasses you’ve committed against me shall be listed in full. Upon speaking your sins to completion, two seconds of relief will be granted to you. To pay for your rest, the torment will surge tenfold as it returns. As it returns, the pain shall never lessen in severity, only compound and multiply. Six hours of sleep will fall upon you beginning at midnight. This slumber cannot be broken save for six hours passing. You consume that which would help you stay alive, and accept all aid to further your life. All sustenance that passes through your lips will be indecipherable from piss in your mouth, and burn as though it were lumpy, molten metal coursing down your throat and through your form. Suicide is impossible for you. You cannot ask another for aid to end your life. When another being touches your flesh, your agony will increase twentyfold. Then, when your penance is complete, you must live another decade to remember the atonement you have experienced.” 

I waited a moment, but Graham was already following orders.

I couldn’t help myself. It would’ve been weirder if I didn’t laugh while he stilled, his heart hammering in his chest while his jaw clenched. A weak, raspy whistle escaped his nose, and my acute senses told me that someone had messed his nappy. “Oh, and before I forget; I really have been to Hell, Alexander… Weird I went there before you, but-”

My giggles came through again, and even after slipping the Reverend’s mask back on, I couldn’t help but smile and wave. It’s not like the rozzers could or would do anything, at least not at the moment. Even Officer Wright and that whole thing wasn’t gonna put a damper on my day, thus I kept the momentum rolling while joking with Geoff and Rod on the way back to Stefano’s house. I knew they were trying to keep it light for whatever reason, though I just didn’t really care.

As luck would have it, Geoff and Rod were mostly just softening the blow waiting at home-base. Stefano had called ahead and scheduled me for so many interviews, I frankly doubted if sleeping on planes was going to become normal. Seriously, we got there and I had a list of shite to do before I even got out of the foyer. Still, it wasn’t bad news, nor was the rapidly increasing view-count on the video something to scoff at. Since Graham was serving a sentence I could be satisfied with, I could hardly find any fault with the path as it was playing out. Hell, my mood’s hardly been better, even on Equestria! 

I did take some time to catch up the Earth-Journal and y’know… It’s not gloating, at least it won’t be until I visit Noir. Wondering how much she’s gonna be fuckin thrilled to hear about it. Hopefully she’s got some good ideas for a celebration, because I’m getting hammered~!

… I woke up in the mindscape, but I wasn’t in the cabin, at the pond, or really anywhere I recognized. Instead, Noir seemed to have brought me to a cave, which was confusing. Mostly because it was like, an actual fantasy-looking cave that I didn’t think really existed. Apparently they do. Water dripped from further in the cave, flickering lights from a campfire giving us plenty of light to see by. I sat up on the bedroll underneath me. It kinda sucked, but I’d slept on worse. Noir was across from me, breaking sticks and small branches before tossing them into the fire. I wanted to laugh and joke about how it felt cliché to sit around in a cave or something of the sort, but… It felt wrong. My cheer collapsed in on itself.

I examined my Mentor to get a feel for the conversation at hand. She met my gaze. Rarely have I ever seen someone so conflicted. Her lips twitched downward, slight bags under her eyes. It wasn’t exhaustion sagging her shoulders… Blackberry sighed. “... Well? You were smiling for hours. Do not allow me to steal it from you.”

“... I know what I did-”

“Evil, my dearest pupil. An act so evil, that I can not condone it.”

I blinked. “Ah…” A few seconds passed, but I shrugged. “Sorry, Noir. This time, I just can't give a shite, y’know? Fuck that guy. If you disagree, I understand why. If you find my actions despicable, I understand that. As it stands, though?” I chuckled, smiling again as I shook my head. “I got him back~ Life’s good, Noir, and… Ah… Just happy, y’know? I thought something was actually wrong-”

“Besides my student inflicting what may very well be the cruellest fate I could have imagined onto someone-”

“Who passed along the deepest trauma of your pupil’s existence through experimentation on them, but continue.”

Blackberry met my gaze for a while. Her eyes closed and she sighed, but when I had those turquoise orbs of wisdom pondering me yet again, she was grinning a bit. “... It would seem that you have found solace in action that time was unable to bring you. For that, I applaud you. However… Reserve such… Well, with frankness-”

“Basically, don’t do that to people who don’t absolutely deserve it. I get it, Noir, don’t get uppity with me. Fuckin’ skyscraper-giraffe. Lookin’ down on me.”

Noir rolled her eyes and chuckled, though I hoped to hear more of her thoughts on the matter. “Yes, yes, I suppose I have been a touch foolish for worrying about your levels of empathy… I still maintain that it would be wise to moderate your movements. You are growing in notoriety by the day. It was good that you struck while you could, though you will need to be incredibly careful from this point forward.”

“Well, choosing my words is a speciality, and talk-shows are scripted down to the burp for the most part. Whatever comes, I’ll handle it. Just not like Graham.”

“That is all I could truly ask, I suppose… And while I would like to spar and train for a while, there is little need to do so. At the moment, your strength is likely greater than any other on this planet. You are essentially free to do as you please…”

I went to do a funny, but I choked. The words almost came, but they died in my throat. “... Oh.”

“Hm?”

“... I… I can literally just do anything, can't I? Like, in the realm of possibility, I can just… Ask. Fast cars, drugs, houses, land…” I rubbed my brow with my hand. “Shit… It’s all at my beck and call.”

Blackberry snorted. “And what would you have first?”

Nausea hit me like a stray ball from a cricket pitch. “... Well, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to use the leverage I’m building to keep helping people. That’s… That’s more or less what I want more than anything. I can worry about the other stuff if there’s time later.”

I was scratching the back of my head, knowing damn well that I was being lame as shit. The least I could do would be driving an Aston or visiting Hawaii or something, but… It just wasn’t important. If I was gonna be on Earth for… Hell, maybe years, then it was a lot better for me and everyone else to start getting the shit-show back on track. It actually kinda sounded fun, playing little socio-political games from behind the scenes. Especially if I could just walk up to someone and give ‘em a little corrective pep-talk. A bit too easy, perhaps, but I could turn Earth into a place I didn’t wanna immediately get away from.

“Yeah, sounds good. I think-”

Noir burst into throaty bellows that were somewhere between deafening and insulting. Oh, no, a bit of both, actually. When I was sure that she was laughing at me, I thumbed my nose, waiting for her to stop. It took a while, I’ll say that much. “Ah, yes! It just makes sense, does it not, hm? Oh, what a fool a man could be to acquire riches or land! No, no, I-” She started giggling again and waved my objections aside before I could voice them. “Oh, cease, Maximus. If ever there was a test for your intentions, I would say you have passed.”

“Shut fuck.”

“No,” She answered bluntly. “If there is a fool among the two of us, then for the time being it is I, myself. I would maintain that you are an idiot, but today, I have proven more foolish than I thought. Your actions with Graham are clearly an exception-”

“Oi…”

“You sentenced a man to ten years of damnation. You deserved it.”

Uh…. “Yeah, okay. That’s actually kinda fair, regardless of whether I like it or you’re a big fatty meanie-butthead.”

For all of a second and a half, I thought I’d slipped it by her. I was proven incorrect when Noir dumped me in the damn pond. After fighting my way back to the surface because dammit, I spit out some water and cleared my eyes. The culprit of my misfortune was standing at the water’s edge, smirking down at me and my soaked form as if I’d offended her mother. Then again, I don’t know shit about Noir’s parents and now’s not the time to wonder.

I fished myself out the same way she’d tossed me in, drying off with mindscape logic. “Oh, hello, Max. Welcome back. How was your swim?”

“It was cold, much like your titties, witch.”

Blackberry snorted until her dress filled with snow. Her smug chuckles turned into panicked curses in a heartbeat. Oddly enough, my own sourness sweetened up before Noir remembered to just think the snow away. She shook her shivers off as I grinned at her. “Cease your tomfoolery.”

“You started it.”

Noir huffed, pinching the front of her go-to, old-fashioned dress and shaking it a bit. Maybe trying to cure that chest cold. “Be that as it may, I would remind you that your actions on Earth thus far have left you with little room to call any other being ‘evil’.”

… Okay? Ouch? “Little uncalled-for there, Blackberry. And out of nowhere too.”

“You did it to Celestia.”

“Yeah, but I’m cute and I’m still playing catch-up to you.”

Noir rolled her eyes. “We would not like each other if that were true. Should you wish to make my own mistakes for yourself, I would not associate with you.”

“... Well… You’re cuter than I am, so eat that.” It wasn’t my best work, but I wasn’t sure if she was insulting me or just laying out facts.

Blackberry shot me a dark look. “I am not cute, and I will break your legs for making such an inaccurate assertion.”

“Scary.”

“Why, thank you,” She nodded slowly, “I believe you will see that I am also menacing and imposing.”

“You mean intimidating and fearsome, yeah?”

Noir waved it off and I assumed that she was just being coy, but her cheeks actually did warm up just a touch. “Oh, cease your flattery. We have training to accomplish if you intend to dawdle here again.”

“Would I be able to tempt you into doing literally anything other than making me fight stuff?”

“Easily, as long as-”

I cut her off with, “You count as stuff too, Noir.”

“Damn,” She clicked her tongue, seeming to think for a minute afterward. “... Hm, no, you cannot. We will begin soon.”

“That’s terrifying, and I do not give my consent.”

Noir chuckled. “Oh, Maximus, I am quite certain that I can sign that permission slip myself.”

… Long story short? She did. Training isn’t all that interesting so I usually leave it out anyway. At least it’s not if it doesn’t suck terribly. Either way… I’m gonna have a fuckin’ drink. See how that goes for me.

Things have been lining up oddly over the last few days. Thankfully, I’ve been able to relax with all the interviews as of late. Only took a month for the buzz to die down and all that. Even then, I’ve been spending most of my time avoiding the public and the Coalition. I’ve been ready to go since I got here and all that. Not really too concerned with anything beyond answering the questions Stefano sends from time to time. Don’t really know what’s going on with the Coalition, though I’m sure that shelter has been set up by now. Might even be running, given how many backers and investors there were. It’s not like it was a for-profit enterprise or anything. Still, people who saw ‘the video’ were generally pretty gung-ho about helping the less fortunate. If not eager, then most were still willing to lend some time.

Been talking to Noir to get our ideas together, but I think the faith she’s had in me was crucial in getting me this far. At least, her wisdom and tolerance for my shite lent itself to keeping me from ‘accidental messiah’ status before February was over. March came in like a lion with plenty of causes to be prideful and all that, but I… At this point, I think Noir’s getting tired of my attempts. The mask never did work with her anyway. I’m not hiding my true feelings at all; She knows if she asks, I’ll say. Just not much of a point when we both know what the issue is and why I’m toeing the line on bad habits.

Still. There’ve been local ads online about some theatre troupe coming through the county. ‘Thespian Equestrians’. Remembered the name to the letter because it reminds me of home. Then there’s the fact that last night had a sunset that was vividly violet, the butterfly landing in my fuckin’ Lurpak, and the gifted bottle of apple-jack from Savage, sent from the States as a token of gratitude. He’d included a note, elaborating upon the life he was living after I’d turned him from the road he was going down. It never gets any less weird to see and hear about the people I’ve known for decades trying to go straight.

As it stands though, weird or not, I think I’ve gotta take the signs for what they are and where they lie. Tomorrow, I’ll swing through Swindon again and put boots in the Old Church one more time. Leave a note for whoever cares to read it. I’ll see what Noir says here in a bit, but I don’t think she’ll have much more than usual. If I’m lucky, she’ll just segue into training after I mention it. If not, then I’ll just be loading hope into the chamber to get blasted in the face when it backfires… Kinda gotta wonder if hope is a bad habit or something because I keep getting more of it, and…

I dunno. Feel confused. Tired. Come back to this later.

I landed in the mindscape, having gone back to the cabin so I could snag some tarts. If I was gonna be stuck on Earth, then I might as well have a few creature-comforts from home. Noir was either watching or re-watching Limitless, scoffing at something or other as I fished my snacks out of the icebox. “Maximus! Would you flirt with a woman while on a drug that changes you into someone that is unrecognizable from yourself?”

Her timing was actually decent since I wasn’t snacking quite yet. “Probably not, unless that drug makes my balls huge.”

She scoffed from the living room/den area, but it’s all par for the course at this point. If anything, it was weird that she only had the one question for me. Not like I minded as I came to join her, having brought another box of popcorn, as per her consistent desires for the buttery, salty shite. Granted, giving Ponies salt is usually a bad idea, but apparently whatever we have in England is incredibly weak or something. Even then, apparently Alicorns can eat amounts of salt that would kill someone Macintosh’s size without really getting a buzz from it.

Noir made room for me to snuggle as Brian Finch continued using drugs to be a useful member of society, looking up as she laid her head on my lap. “Hm? What troubles you so this day, Beloved Pupil?”

I almost tried to slip the mask on, but it hasn’t been for Noir’s benefit in a while. As it stood, there was no point. “Salvatore sent that bottle, yeah?”

“The apple jack?”

“Yeah.”

“From the Laird people, yes?”

“The ones that have a guy named Clementine or something, yeah.”

“Hm.”

Blackberry stole my hand as I was messing with her facial fur, placing it over the top of her sternum. “... I don’t really wanna hope for it, Noir.”

“You and your idiosyncrasies. Hope as you please, my Dearest. The outcome is disappointment or relief. Why fear that which you have no say in? Why dwell in misery when you can continue forward?” She didn’t even let me ask. “Yes, this is what it is like to ask you for advice, on occasion.”

“Abstract asshole.”

“Yes,” She admitted with a pointed look, “though a direct answer would make no sense. What signs have you seen that would warrant you to hold something so antithetical to your touch?”

I mean… I sighed, worried about what she’d say. Maybe she’d actually be interested, for once? “... A butterfly landed in my butter.”

Her brows arched. “Did you eat it?”

“The butter, yes. The bug? No, it was just in the wrong place. No need to kill it or anything. Not worth the effort anyway.”

“Still, I do find that a touch interesting.”

… She’s still waiting for something to comment on. Maybe this one? “... Sunset was low on oranges and reds. Same for tonight too.”

“Sunset?” Noir inquired.

“Yeah. Twilight.”

“... Hmm… Interesting.”

“I thought so, at least.”

Blackberry didn’t have much to say to that at first. “Well… Whatever your path holds-”

“Our paths,” I corrected.

She scoffed. “I join you for your journeys, Maximus… I have little to do with them. As little as that matters in and of itself, I do hope that you find your solace where it rests. Whatever these omens may mean… I am with you always.”

“And water is wet, yeah,” I chuckled. “... Still, though I just…”

“Hoping and believing may feel foolish, but hope is what keeps people alive, Max. It keeps people sane long enough for the sun to break the clouds of winter. Brings a person to their next meal after starving for days.” Her voice softened as she reached up and tweaked my nose. “And if I may add my own experience, then hope is that which brought me a new life and outlook. For someone who despises the concept so fervently, you instil much hope in others.”

I puffed a chuckle or two through my nose, grateful for the gentle wake-up call. “Funny how it seems to work.”

“What? Possessing that which you despise?”

“Pretty much.”

“If only you despised intellect.”

“Does that mean you hate ugliness?”

“I could hardly look you in the eye if I did.”

Shit. She got me. “You’re lucky I’m tired.”

“Hello, Tired. Apparently my name is Lucky.”

“Yeah, yeah, so ya say…”

“Max,” Noir huffed, pulling at my lower lip softly, “do not fret. That which will come to pass is inevitable. The march of time is forever forward, Dearest. To worry over that which you cannot change… One might call such an endeavour the height of folly.”

“Yeah, well, you know all about height, dontcha?”

“I do, yes.”

I tried to shoot her a dirty look, but my lips wouldn’t cooperate. My tongue betrayed me too when it told my lungs to laugh instead of doing words. Such is life. “Then you’d know what you’re talking about.”

“True. I need no miracle drug to be wise. That came with time, somewhere in the last few thousand years.”

“It’s still weird that you can say that and mean it with every ounce of sincerity.”

She shrugged, though the conversation ended there for the most part. Surprisingly, Noir didn’t bother with training for the visit. Instead, we watched movies, played a few games, and avoided talking about stuff in general. It was nice and all, but our time together is always limited. Never really feel like I see Noir enough, but it is what it is… As for now… I think it might be time to start prepping for a weird journey back to where I came from. After going there. From here.

Piss-poor wording there, but I know what I mean.

I left a note and some details for Stefano as I carried out some final checks. Packing hadn't been hard since I didn’t need extra clothes, though I was kind of wondering if anything would work when I brought it back to Equestria. Hell, I didn’t even know if there was a point in taking electronics in general, but I wanted some decent fucking Earth music when I went back, and by golly did I have it. Nearly fifteen-gigs of nothing but music copied over two MP3 players, two MP4’s, and a handful of SD cards. I also made sure to ‘acquire’ movies and games that would help with the long nights and some light reading for… Y’know, if Equus decides to fuck me over or something and I need to get the hell out of dodge. 

My pens might’ve been a touch overkill, but even if I’d helped bring fountain pens to Equestria, I missed ballpoints and fine tips. There were a couple other useful bits and bobs that I figured wouldn’t be easily available on Equus, though they weren’t really all that important in the grand scheme. However, I did make sure to grab a solar charger or two so I could keep my shit juiced up, even if it’d probably take a while to charge anything. 

As I stepped into the garage, I almost gave a shit about the house I’d been using as a home-base for weeks. Almost. It was a nice house, yeah, but a ‘home’ is where you hang your hat, and Twilight’s adorable in hats. I was more than ready to be done with the rapidly-improving hellhole that is my homeworld, even if it’s not as bad as it’s been. Going home might not even happen. I didn’t hope that I could, nor did I expect anything other than a simple visit to an old church.

Thinking too much wouldn’t do me any good any time soon, especially if I had an hour to ride back to Swindon. Falling off my motorbike would ruin the day, and if I wanted to avoid accident number six, I needed my mind on the task at hand. Then again, I still have quite the hard time staying dead, so it really wouldn’t have mattered unless it got media coverage. In any case, I rolled through the door, closed it behind me, and looked back at the plain, drab domicile. If I rolled my eyes much harder, I might’ve caught that sixth accident.

All in all, the ride back to Swindon was nice. I knew from the point of buying the damn thing that bikes were impractical for cross-country, though it just wasn’t much of a factor in why I got it. Hell, I could’ve just gotten a car and probably been just as fine since I was leaving it anyway, but I’d just wanted the bike. Passing through town would’ve been safer in a car most of the time, but at this point, why not? As long as I minded the speed limit, then I really didn’t have shite to worry about.

… The ride back to the Old Church was uneventful. Even if I like boring, I kinda just thought there’d be some kind of fanfare. With over fifty-million views on the thing last time I checked, I figured I’d be a little more recognizable. Who knows. It was pretty nice to just ride, but I didn’t know if I should cover my bike or just leave it outside. I opted to walk it in and tuck it back in the office I used to sleep in. Thankfully, that gave me a few more solar cells to grab since I’d used them in the past. Those and some battery banks, but who gives a shit?

It was hard to care myself, even after I tucked the note for Will in the old hidey hole. If he came back for any reason, then I hoped he’d have the sense to check the drop-spot. And avoid the traps that were left. If I could manage with an entire fucking motor-bike, then he should at least let a couple pass him by. Not that I was expecting much from his last performance or anything… To be honest, I didn’t expect him to stop by at all unless it was a lot further down the road. 

I chose a seat in the pulpit. Why not? Stone and wood don’t seem to different in the greyscale that had seemed to coat my day-to-day existence. Maybe some sub-conscious part of me wanted to feel closer to Godly Coleman so he’d take the damn hint and send me back, though the thought got an earnest chuckle. The times in my life when those real laughs were rare have been plentiful. It’s possible that makes me appreciate them more. Probable, I’d say. It’s easy to spend your days languishing in misery. Even when I think back to Mum and that conversation outside Golden Oaks… I can run to Noir, but time literally passes me by without anything getting better when I do.

I sat and thought about Will for a while, though it was the same old hat for the most part. The man hated me for using magic to control people. I can't fault him for that. Beatrix sure as fuck had no qualms with making her own message clear. That made me chuckle a bit, though the sound didn’t stop when I did. My brows furrowed, but even after practically being deafened for almost two months on Earth, I’d still been able to at least keep track of people’s footsteps. However, I couldn’t even pin down a source. Focusing didn’t help as the laughter sounded like it was emanating from every piece of particulate. Echoing off of everything, yet coming from nowhere.

‘Thanks. Guess it was about time anyway.’ I thought as the laughter got a little louder. There were a few distinct tones, or rather, impressions that fit a general theme. Not necessarily voices, but recognizable all the same. MY irritation got laughed at, but I hoped to be home when I opened my eyes. Due to the laws of Murphy, nice things don’t last. I was kind of expecting to wake up at the bottom of an ocean, or like… A burning building. Mostly because some form of Hell seemed more likely than actually going back home.

Lo’ and behold, I wasn’t home. I wasn’t in Equestria by a long shot, but I did have at least one blessing to count. As I inhaled the scents of decay and earth, my hay fever proved to be a long-gone ailment. My arse was comfortably planted atop a pile of the dry crap and I was already itching, irritable, and anxious to get the fuck out of there. My bag had made the trip with me, which was another plus… Although, I now had to find a way back home without a bit on my person. 

The barn wasn’t my favourite place, but nature tends to be pretty decent for me. I hedged my bets, but realized that I’m a fucking muppet around the time I saw the light spilling through the door. Focusing on my house for some fucking reason, I chose a shadow to dive through and fucked up anyway. In fact, I fucked up so bad, I somehow wound up in the Everfree. I knew the place well enough, yeah, but… How!?

A touch of laughter graced the morning breeze, but worrying about it was pointless. If I was actually back on Equus, then it truly did not matter. I looked up to the canopy of the Everfree and inhaled through my nose, taking in the dank, warm, clean air. The damp, dirty-dirt. Fresh foliage that didn’t smell fake as fuck…

My mouth watered as I drank in the aromas and reeks of the Everfree. The slight hints home in the air. To the trees, bugs, and the bird off to my left… I folded my arms and smiled. “... I’m home.”