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// Chapter 40: Do It For Her, Do It For Yourself 
// Story: There's a Monster Pony Outside My Window 
// by Halira 
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Andrea sat and watched her sisters trying on their new clothes. Her parents and old Kristin hadn't gotten her any clothes. She wasn't sure she wanted them; they had weird designs. Old Kristin said that all the kids were wearing clothes like that these days. In Andrea's opinion, that meant all the kids these days must be loser weirdos. 

But the fact that her parents hadn't gotten anything for her still bothered her. She wasn't going to stay a pony forever. Didn't she need clothes too? She only had one set of clothes, and she wasn't even sure where those were. They'd given her back her Ewok toy and her blanket, but her clothes seemed to be gone. She hadn't asked about them, but now she was starting to worry. 

"Mom, where are my clothes?" Andrea asked. 

Her mom had been helping Charlotte try on this ugly red shirt that had something called Power Ponies on it, and she jerked when asked the question. 

"Mommy! My head doesn't go in that hole!" Charlotte yelled with her head half sticking out of the sleeve. Why would anyone make sleeves that big? It just made the clothes more ugly than they already were.

"I'm sorry, baby," Mom said as she sorted Charlotte out. "Andrea, I'm not sure where they went. I think they got lost."

"So why didn't you get me new clothes?" Andrea asked. "I'm going to be naked when I have to take this thing off."

"You're naked now!" Kristin called out. 

"I've got fur! It doesn't count, stupid!" Andrea yelled back. 

"Don't call your sister stupid, please," Mom said. "We'll worry about clothes for you later."

"Why do I have to keep wearing this necklace? I thought it was bad to keep it on too long."

"Because you got hurt," Charlotte answered. 

"Hurt bad," Kristin added in. "They probably threw away your clothes because they had too much blood on them."

Mom suddenly stood up. "Charlotte, Kristin, I think you two should go show your dad how nice you look in your new clothes. Andrea and I need to talk."

Her sisters looked at one another and mumbled okay before leaving the bedroom. 

Mom came and sat down beside her. "Andrea, what do you remember before you woke up as a pony?"

She sat and thought about it. "We were in that weird room, hiding from those ponies. Me and Charlotte were hiding together. Something hit Miss Newman, and Charlotte tried to run to her. Then I chased after her…I pushed her down...I don't remember after that. Why don't I remember?"

Her mom ran a hand through Andrea's mane. "I need you not to get upset."

"Mom! People saying that always means they're going to say something bad!"

"I still need you to try, please. It's very important you don't get upset," Mom said slowly. "Can you be my big girl and not get upset?"

Andrea frowned. "I'm a filly right now, but okay."

Her mom took a deep breath. "Remember how Wild Growth said you were a hero who saved your sister?"

"I remember," Andrea confirmed. "I guess I did. I remember chasing after her."

Mom smiled at her. "You did save her, and I'm very proud of you. You were very brave and very selfless. You saved your baby sister's life. She would have died if not for you."

That made her feel good, but only for a second. "But…they said I got hurt."

Her mom looked away. "You did. The thing you saved Charlotte from hit you instead. It was the same thing that hit Sunset Blessing, you know, Miss Newman…old Charlotte."

"I know who Sunset Blessing is, Mom. I told you, remember? She and Charlotte even smell the same, just like Kristin and Auntie Ami, and you and Dad and those old ponies."

"We smell the same?" Mom asked, turning back and looking confused. 

Andrea rubbed her hooves against the floor. "Not the same-same, but still the same. I can tell you're the same people, even if I didn't have someone tell me. I don't know how to explain it. You smell the same. I think that Wild Growth pony could tell who was who before she asked. I think she smelled us, but she was being nice."

"Okay…that's an odd pony thing I wasn't aware of," Mom said in a bewildered tone.

"Mom! What happened!" Andrea yelled. 

Her mom bit her lip. "You lost a lot of blood, too much blood, and a lot of stuff inside you was damaged. Putting the necklace on you is like a big bandaid. Then last night, when they used the spell to put you to sleep, they took you to the doctor; the doctor said that you were hurt too bad for the doctor to fix, and we needed to keep the necklace on you."

Andrea blinked. "So I have to stay a pony forever?"

Mom stiffly nodded. "Yes…I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you."

"Oh, well, that's okay. I don't mind being a pony," Andrea assured her mom. She wasn't even lying. Being a pony felt fine. 

Andrea was pulled onto a hug. "I'm glad you are taking this well. You're such a brave girl."

She didn't think she was being brave; she was just telling the truth. Still, she liked being called brave, so she wasn't going to tell her mom she wasn't. 

There was one issue still. "Does that mean I have to keep wearing this stupid necklace? I don't like the necklace; I'm not allowed to do anything because of it."

Her mom hesitated again. "Sunset Blessing says she is going to make a spell, so you don't have to wear it anymore. You'll just be a regular pony."

Andrea got wide eyes and backed up slightly. "Does it have to be her? Can't somepony else do it?"

"She's the only one who knows how, sweetie," Mom said in a whisper. 

"But her magic is so big! When she does things, I can feel it. I can feel her right now, practicing with Wild Growth," Andrea whimpered. 

Her mom got a worried look. "You can? Right now?"

Andrea pointed a leg towards a spot outside. "She's right over there. I can feel her. I can feel some of the others sometimes, when I'm close to them, and they're doing something. I only feel her when she's doing something with her magic, but I can feel her from far away, and it always feels big."

"Does it hurt?" Mom asked, sounding worried. "What does it feel like?"

She shook her head. "It doesn't hurt. I don't know how to explain it. It's just big. It's like when you're walking by a road, and a big truck goes past, you feel it; only hers is a huge truck that knocks you over without touching you. Or like I'm falling, only instead of falling a little bit I keep falling and falling and going faster and faster, and I don't see where I'm falling I just feel the fall."

"Does it feel like an ocean that goes on forever? That's what Andri said," Mom asked. 

"Maybe, I don't know. I don't know how to explain this good," Andrea said, shaking her head. "I just know her magic's big, and it's scary."

Her mom took a deep breath. "She's the only one who can do the spell. You just keep being brave."

"Alright, at least it means I'll get to take this dumb necklace off. I feel it, too, like when one of the other ponies does something, and it is always there. It's annoying."

"Try not to think about it. Just remember that it is making you better, like my cast is helping me get my arm better," Mom looked at her injured armed. "Speaking of which. Do you want to come with me to find Shu-whats-his-name? He was supposed to help me get this cast off."

Andrea giggled. "His name is Shǔguāng, Mom. He says that it means dawn's light in Mandarin Chinese. He made sure I said his name right and that I say Mandarin Chinese and not just Chinese. Mister Líng's name means river spirit, and Mister Mèng's means nice dream. They said their mom— their original mom's name is Yinyu Wu Yan, and they'd tell me what that means when I'm older."

"Wish they had easier names to say," Mom muttered. "Why were they telling you their original mom's name? You weren't asking about that, were you? You shouldn't ask adopted people about their birth parents; their adopted parents are real parents."

"I didn't; they told me without me asking. They said she might visit me and not be scared of her just because she's dead."

Her mom stared at her. "They told you that their dead mom was going to come visit you?"

Andrea shook her head. "They said she might come visit me. She's one of those warden people. They aren't dead-dead when they die. I asked about the Marshmallow thingie, and they told me about their sorta-dead mom. They said the wardens could come in your dreams, and their old mom can see and hear what the Marshmallow thingie sees and hears. They said their mom, the one they have now, has a dead wife that is the same way. They said they don't know if that one will visit. They say she likes to only come when called."

"Are you sure they weren't just playing a joke on you?" her mom asked, sounding suspicious. 

Andrea shrugged. "We had an invisible dragon thing that came into our house that we never knew about, we time traveled with a unicorn that is Charlotte as an old lady, and I'm wearing a necklace that turns me into a pony with sparkly fur. Why can't there be dead ponies that come in our dreams?"

Her mom blinked. "When you put it that way, I honestly can't say what's impossible. How about you promise me not to talk to dead ponies until I find out more about them, okay?"

"Okay, if you want," Andrea replied. She didn't see what the big deal was. The other ponies seemed to think the dead ponies were friendly. She didn't know if the Marshmallow thing was dead; the ponies didn't mention that one being dead, but it seemed kinda funny and nice, even if it was weird. 

Her mom led her out into the hallway, briefly sticking their heads in the next room to tell everybody where they were going. Charlotte and Kristin we're playing with their new toys. Andrea had new toys too, but she wanted to move around right now, not sit in one spot to play. Maybe it was a pony thing to want to keep moving, but since she'd become one, she didn't want to sit still for too long. 

They headed down the staircase, and she felt the feeling again where Miss Newman was doing something. The old unicorn was still outside somewhere, and Andrea wondered how her mom couldn't feel that whenever it happened. It made her shiver. There was too much of whatever it was. The thought of all that stuff touching her made her want to hide. 

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, she felt a minor pull, like someone spraying a hose where Miss Newman was a waterfall. 

"He's in the rec room. I feel him doing something," Andrea announced when her mom was turning towards the kitchen. 

Her mom turned and looked at her. "You can feel him too?"

"Only if we're close, and only if he's doing something with his horn," Andrea answered. "Upstairs is too far away. I can tell it's him. He feels stiff all the time when he does stuff."

"You can already tell him apart from the other unicorns?" Mom asked. "It's only been a day."

Andrea shrugged. "He just feels a certain way. He's stiffer than them. Sorry, I don't know a better word."

Her mom let off a long exhale. "I need this crystal pony stuff explained to me better. Rec room it is. Come on."

They walked into the rec room and found it had just Shǔguāng and the old version of Andrea there. Andri (she remembered to call her that) was lying on a couch with her forehooves over her head. Shǔguāng was in a corner, horn lit, and had a pen and notebook floating in front of him. He looked like he was writing. 

Andri looked up as they entered. "Don't mind me. Sunset's boom boom boom is giving me a splitting headache. It feels like the worst hangover I've ever had. I just took some Advil, and I'm hoping that works. Mini-me is lucky; she can't feel it as strongly as I can."

"Is she getting any better?" Mom asked eagerly. 

Andri groaned. "You're talking about Sunset, right? Well, she isn't leaving craters anymore when she's told to pick Wild Growth up and set her down gently. That's an improvement."

"Craters...you're exaggerating, right?" Mom asked, now sounding nervous. 

Andri shook her head. "Nope! I was out there for that. She was asked to lift Wild Growth with her magic gently, and she practically hurls the pony into the stratosphere. She's told to set her down gently, and she literally puts Wild Growth six feet under. You didn't feel those shakes?"

Andrea gasped. "Is the green pony okay?"

"Wild Growth? Yeah, it's Wild Growth. She takes a beating and keeps on ticking. I bet she's pissed off; I know I'd be if Sunset hurled me to the ground so hard I left a hole— well, no, I'd probably be dead, but she's still out there, letting Sunset do who knows what abuse to her. It seems to be working, so that's good news."

Andrea trembled. They wanted that pony to use magic on her? They were crazy! She'd rather wear the necklace forever.

Her mom bent down and touched her ears, rubbing them. "It'll be alright. She's getting better. In a few days, she'll be ready to do it without hurting you."

Andrea wasn't so sure as she felt another surge from outside. Andri must have felt it too, because she looked off in that direction with a grimace. It seemed weird that her mom, dad, and sisters couldn't feel that. She wasn't sure the other ponies felt it either, just her and Andri.

Shǔguāng looked at them. "Are you ready for me to fix your arm?"

Mom stood back up. "Yeah, if you're still ready."

The unicorn stallion nodded and set his pen and notebook down, lifting his leg with his watch on it. "Jones, can you come in here? I need you to help me with that task I mentioned earlier."

Andrea walked off to sit beside the older version of herself as her mom waited for the unicorn to show up. Andri peaked out from under her legs.

"You're feeling that outside, right?" Andri asked. Immediately after she asked, there was another surge, and they both cringed. Andri frowned after it ended. "Never mind, I saw you flinch too. Being a crystal pony isn't usually this annoying, I promise. It’s only when exceptionally strong magic is being used that it’s so noticeable, and most people can't do stuff like that. Once Sunset gets herself under control, you’ll see, it'll be better. And believe me, it feels worse for me than it does for you. You can feel more as you get older."

"It scares me," Andrea whimpered. "She could hurt me."

Andri sat up and hung her head. "Ya gotta be brave, kid. Doing what needs to be done can be terrifying. Sometimes, you just have to take action without thinking about what can happen. You know how to do that because you've done it already. You saved your baby sister. She would be dead without you. I wish I could say I'd have been just as brave as you at your age, but to be honest, I don't know if I could have done the same thing."

"Sure you would. You're me," Andrea insisted. She then crouched down as another surge of power happened outside. 

"Damn, those things hit hard," Andri whispered, shaking her head. "Our lives have diverged, kid, and you have a chance to be an even braver, more courageous version of me. I'm no coward. I've fought my fights, but it took me a lot of growing up to get to the point where I could. You're getting an earlier start on that than me. I'm telling you, as someone who knows what it's like to be you, you can be brave again and face what my sister throws at you. Not to put any pressure on you, but it could be the most important thing you ever do."

"Really? More important than saving Charlotte?" Andrea asked. 

"Maybe on par with that," Andri conceded. "But think of it this way. Sunset is Charlotte too, a different Charlotte, but if I'm you, then she's your sister too. My Charlotte likes to talk about how brilliant she is, and she is, but she's also a coward. She's probably more afraid than you are. I need you to do me a favor, do yourself a favor, and save my sister from her cowardice. Tell her it's going to be alright, that you trust her, and that you know she can do this. She needs to hear it, and she needs to hear it from you. Help your old baby sister. You saved her once, save her again."

"I don't understand," Andrea replied. 

"I'm not great at explaining things, kid," Andri said in exasperation. "Never have been and never will be. Sunset was great before she got all that power. She knows in her head that she is capable. She doesn't know that in her heart. The world needs Charlotte, it needs Sunset Blessing, but she needs to feel some goddamned confidence in herself and not just pretend she does. She needs to believe she isn't a screwup that hurts more than she helps. Believe in her, and make her believe in herself. Right now, she has all that power, and she's scared she's going to screw up again. She needs her big-little sister to save her. Make it right for you and her. Be a hero by being brave and trusting her."

Andrea tried to smile. "I'll be brave."

Andri rolled off the couch and flinched as another burst of magic happened, then they both flinched as they heard Andrea's mom scream out in pain. 

Andrea turned and saw both Shǔguāng and another unicorn releasing their magic. She hadn't felt them in the middle of all those booms outside. Her mom seemed to be okay and was catching her breath. Shǔguāng was saying something to her about getting the cast off her in a second.

"I'm not the world's best pep talker either. I don't do good at explaining things. I feel like I'm talking in circles, but I hope I helped," Andri said as she walked by. "I'm going to go rest. I'm old and tired, and Sunset is giving me a headache."

Andrea watched the old version of her walk out of the room. She could be brave. She wouldn't let herself down.