//------------------------------// // Unraveled // Story: A Dazzling World // by Spyder27 //------------------------------// Chapter XIV: Unraveled The sound of a song can always fill my heart, at least slightly. It’s something that has always been in my soul… Music is not entirely a talent. It can be a gift when refined and presented to someone else. It’s also something you have to work hard on, despite what some kids' movies will have you believe. I suppose I always believed I was a natural since the start… I did have an advantage with that gem, but honestly, I still practiced a lot. Every young siren did, but I seemed to take it more seriously. I mean, young sirens are expected to dominate when they’re older, but they were still children, assumed to be playful and carefree. I was not like that… I focused my music into a craft that was almost unbeatable. Maybe that’s why Sonata and Aria liked me…  Sonata came up to me at first to offer her stuffed animal when I was crying out of frustration for myself. Aria, on the other hand, wanted to practice her talents with me, realizing how serious I was about music. It’s ironic that as soon as our music was taken away from us, we all split away from each other. I could blame it on that, but I know that the bigger reason is because I ruined it all. I can’t help but wonder how they are doing… I guess one would say it’s weak of me to worry about them, but I know that it’s just my superiority complex that makes me believe that. Well, whatever remains of it… “Hey, are ya okay?” Apple Bloom asks me, breaking me out of my thoughts instantly. Her yellow hand waving in front of my face tries to get my attention. Looking at her, I sigh quietly to myself looking at my studio office. “Sorry, I was just thinking. The way you open your mouth to sing is still wrong,” I say quietly, subsequently opening my mouth in the correct position and pointing to it.  “I-I’m sorry. I keep trying, but I forget once I go home and all.” Apple Bloom’s face has a sheepish look to it as she glances away from me.  “It’s fine. Just study the textbook I gave you, alright?” I ask with a mildly annoyed tone, but I let it slide as I look at the clock. “Besides, our session is about done anyway. We can stop for now and pick it back up next week, if you would like?” Apple Bloom enthusiastically nods before sitting down on the chair in front of my desk, clearly waiting for me to sit as well. A curious smile comes on her face, something on her mind as I sit down across from her.  “So, did ya… you know? Did ya ask her out? For Valentine’s Day?” she asks me quizfully, her eyes locked onto me. Again, Apple Bloom is so curious to hear the new details about my life, but I’ve come to expect that from her at this point.  Taking a deep breath, I sigh to myself, knowing the answer would disappoint her. “No, I haven’t. I’ve kinda asked if she’s doing anything for Valentine’s, but she hasn’t answered just yet…” Looking away from Apple Bloom, I grab my water bottle, again drinking a third of it before taking a breath. It seems teaching kids can often make one tired, no matter how young they are. Well, my body is young… My mind? Not so much. “W-what? Are you getting cold feet on us?” Apple Bloom asks cautiously, referring to the CMC and their hard work to help me with this. “No, I’m not. I just haven’t found the right moment to ask if we can hangout then. I was planning on texting her later today,” I guiltily state, keeping my gaze away from Apple Bloom’s. Again, a part of me knows that I have been avoiding the problem. I still feel so scared that she will say something I don’t want to hear. Besides, it would be better to be friends, right? I guess I would like to say that to get out of the responsibility of confessing to her. But… Sunset deserves to know. I’ve been avoiding responsibility a lot of my life… I suppose sirens don’t have to worry about things like consequences most of the time. But now, as a human, I have to face them. I have to face my new weaknesses and my feelings for a simple girl. Well, she’s far more than simple… “Pinkie promise?” Apple Bloom asks me as she holds her pinkie out to me, looking directly into my own eyes. Apple Bloom always pushes people to be the best they can. I suppose that’s something I like about her.  Locking our pinkie fingers together, I smile as best as I can to her, nodding to her question. “I pinkie promise. I’ll even let you guys help me with my outfit, if you want.” An excited smile comes from Apple Bloom as she practically jumps over my desk to hug me, squeezing the air out of me again. I don’t know why I didn’t expect it by now, due to her incredible strength.  “Of course I would like that! You’re like another big sister to me at this point, so I love seeing you succeed at life~” Apple Bloom states with a small whisper to her voice. Our hug seems to last longer than usual as Apple Bloom hugs me tighter, her breathing slowing down and burying her face into me. Wrapping my arms around the small girl, I gently pat her back and sigh.  “Are you alright, Apple Bloom?” I ask, sensing something awry with her actions. Suddenly, I feel Apple Bloom’s body shake slightly as her tears stain my shirt, her sobs getting slightly louder. “Apple Bloom…?” I ask wearily again, not sure of what to do as she holds onto me.  “I-it’s just… You’ve been a really good friend to me… A-and I love talking with you and such. Almost as much as I love spending time with my big sis.” Apple Bloom’s shaking decreases slightly, but her embrace doesn’t slip for a moment. “I know that ya love Sunset and you’re about to confess to her. I just… hope we can still spend time together afterward. Ya know?” her breath weakly states, another sob landing on my shirt.  “Apple Bloom, do you think I would stop talking-” “It’s happened so much to me, Adagio… I help someone back up and I think we’re good friends, but… they just leave my life as easily as they came in.” A silent cry is the only thing that stirs us for a moment, Apple Bloom desperately trying to communicate her feelings. “I don’t want that to happen to you. I still want to talk with ya and be there.” For a moment, nothing but silence is shared between us as I hug the young girl. The girl who is clearly hurt from experiences of the past and worries about the future. Slowly patting her head, I hug Apple Bloom tightly, not letting go until she’s ready. “I pinkie promise, Apple Bloom. We’ll still be friends and I’ll still share my life with you. No matter what happens, okay?” I try to reassure her in a hushed voice, Apple Bloom breathing deeply for a while longer.  “Thanks for being my friend, Adagio. I really hope things go well with Sunset and all~” Apple Bloom says in a more cheery tone, as she takes her head away from my body, wiping off the tears. Her smile appears once more, locking her finger with mine and giggling to herself. “Now that ya pinkie promised, you can’t break it. So, ask Sunset out as soon as you can, alright?” she tells me with a reassuring smile. I simply nod, standing up and hugging Apple Bloom once more.  “I will~ Now, you should probably go home. I’ll text you the details, alright? Just make sure to study that textbook I gave you, alright?” Apple Bloom nods and opens her mouth to say something, before the sound of the door interrupts us both, attracting our attention. Walking into the room, a bright orange woman steps inside, adjusting her cowboy hat as she picks up Apple Bloom’s bag that’s on the floor.  “Ya ready to go, Apple Bloom? Granny told me to pick ya up so you would be in time for-” the orange woman’s voice is cut off as she looks up from the bag she picked up, staring right at us. As quickly as our hug began, Apple Bloom cuts it off and looks at her older sibling with worry in her eyes. “Adagio Dazzle…?” she asks with a confused look in her eyes, turning to anger quickly. Her fiery eyes scorch me as she drops Apple Bloom’s bag onto the floor, her stare never relenting. “You’re teaching my little sister…?” ============================================ The rooftop is cold and gray as always, a chilly wind blowing some of the leaves off the edge as I sit on the bench. Taking a slow bite of the sandwich I made earlier today, I sigh to myself quietly. The fresh scars of Applejack’s insults still linger on my mind… No matter what I do, I guess the world has to remind me that I’m never going to be good enough. For Sunset or this happy little life I have built for myself… I suppose I already know that… I don’t deserve everything I’ve gotten so far. I don’t deserve this job. Most of all, I don’t deserve… her… Shaking my head, I try to ignore the thoughts coming to my mind by bringing my phone out, quickly texting Sunset. I know that… she deserves a better friend. Someone who wouldn’t selfishly fall in love with her as soon as they can… I think Sunset enjoys being my friend, at least… Though, she could always be pretending… “Hey, Sunset? I don’t want to bother you, but… I was wondering if you were doing anything for Valentine’s Day? Maybe we could hang out?” My words come to me slowly as I sigh quietly to myself, avoiding my own thoughts as best as I can. A low whisper comes from my lips as the cold air brushes against my face. “I love you,” I slowly type into my phone, hesitating to send the message. Eventually, I erase the message, not daring to send my confession through text. If I’m going to break our friendship, I should at least do it in person… Maybe… Maybe Sunset will find someone better than me. “Hey, Adagio~ Sorry, I can’t really hang out on Valentine’s Day… At least, not alone. I’m hanging out with my friends that day, so if you maybe want to hang out with us, we could make some room for you~” Her message hits me like a truck at first, delivering the realization of hanging out with her friends… I’m already friends with Rainbow Dash, but… the others may not be so kind. Especially Applejack, given our introduction today…  Sunset’s friends know what kind of person I am… they know I don’t deserve her and they’re right… Opening my eyes wider than before, I take a deep breath and look towards the sky above me. A few words come back to my mind, thinking about what Apple Bloom told me weeks ago. “You have to face them eventually.” Those words ring around in my mind for what seems like an hour or more, but it was probably only the span of ten minutes. Sighing to myself, I bring my hand to my face and gently cup my cheek, closing my eyes to think.  “The things I do for you, Sunset,” I whisper to myself, slowly bringing my eyes back to the phone and typing in my new message. “Yeah, if you could make room for me, that would be great! I would love to hang out with you and your friends~ It would give me a chance to make up with them, you know?” My lies have slowly gone out of control over time, spiraling further and further down. No matter what I say, I don’t look forward to meeting Sunset’s friends again, but maybe it will be good for me… Slowly, the door to the rooftop opens up, revealing a rainbow haired person stepping outside and looking around herself, spotting me almost instantly. Putting my phone away, Rainbow Dash comes and sits beside me, humming to herself. “Man, how do you always get up here so early?” she asks nonchalantly as she opens her new Daring Do lunchbox. Due to the new picture on the side of it, I would guess this is the new one she was talking about all that time ago. A small chuckle comes from her as she takes a bite of her sandwich, looking at me with a curious look. After a few moments of silence, Rainbow slightly nudges me with her elbow, her eyes not leaving me. “Hey, you alright? I wasn’t trying to be mean or nothing, I just find it funny how you always get here before I do,” Rainbow Dash states as kindly as she can, trying to get me to talk. “It’s nothing you did. It’s just life in general, I suppose,” I say slowly, taking another bite of my own sandwich. Despite our friendship, I wouldn’t say Rainbow and I usually talk about “heavy topics” as she would put them. We usually talk about things we like, how the job is going, taunting each other or we just comment about the day’s events. Ironically, I didn’t quite feel in the mood to keep the idle chatter up today, feeling more or less drained. Rainbow seems to pick up on this as she pats my back, but once again, she surprises me by grabbing my thin sandwich. “Hey, what the-” “Come on. You need a break. Thankfully, the awesome Rainbow Dash knows exactly what to do~” she states with a confident look, grabbing her lunch box quickly.  “Rainbow, I’m not in the mood to-” “Hey, if you want your sandwich, you’ll have to take it back from me~” Rainbow teases me as she waves the food in front of my face, quickly skipping to the door, giggling to herself. “Come on, Dagi. Be a little adventurous~” she states with a daring look, holding the door open. “Unless… you’re scared?” A wink comes from Rainbow Dash as our gazes lock with each other, her tempting offer standing in front of me.  “You should know I’m not scared to be adventurous…” A mildly annoyed look appears on my face, but a hint of curiosity is mixed in, leaving Rainbow with a devilish grin on her face. “Prove it then~” ======================================== The warm interior of the bowling alley once again pushes against my skin as I open the doors to the establishment, walking inside with Rainbow Dash. The rainbow haired girl has long since eaten my sandwich, prompting me to follow her longer after she promised to buy me a new meal. Today is a bit different than the last time we came here, since there are a lot more people bowling and playing arcade games than usual. The sounds of laser blasts and balls knocking down pins fills the air with a welcoming sense of life, everyone there to have a good time. I suspect that’s the reason why Rainbow brought me here in the first place… Without any hesitation, Rainbow turns to the counter to our left, looking the man in the eyes and smiling. “Hey, my friend and I would like a couple pairs of shoes, balls and a match on lane 12,” Rainbow states as kindly as she can, pulling out her bank card and handing it to the man. I have to admit, a part of me feels happy to be called a friend by Rainbow. I guess that makes three people who have called me a friend today. Unfortunately, one of them is somebody I don’t want to be friends with… Instead, my heart wants to ruin our friendship.  “What is this about, Dash?” I ask her hesitantly, looking around the bowling alley. “I didn’t come here to have a rematch with you. That and you did tell me you would buy me another lunch.” “We will have a burger afterward, don’t worry,” Rainbow says confidently, gently patting my shoulder. “Where’s your competitive nature? Just one game?” Rainbow’s eyes seem to plead me to play into her game, to follow her lead. She does this quite a lot actually. I suppose that I gave her that permission as soon as I started having lunch with her. Sighing in a defeated tone, I take the ball from her hand and one pair of shoes, locking my eyes with hers. “One game.” ================================================ Rainbow lines up her stance perfectly, her arm aims directly down the lane towards the middle of the pins. With a deep breath, she closes her eyes and throws the ball, once again hitting a strike. Normally, this enthusiastic and energetic girl would yell out about how awesome she is for getting a strike, but for some reason, this game is different. We’re five turns into the match and she still hasn’t gotten excited about her scores, simply remaining either silent or cheering me on for the shots that are admittedly less impressive than her own. It makes me slightly worried about what is going on with her, but I try to stay positive and keep the game up. Sitting down on one of the seats around the ball return, Rainbow points to me and chuckles to herself. “Your turn, Dagi. Make it count, yeah?” Rolling my eyes slightly, I smile to myself as I stand up and grab a red and yellow ball.  “I’ll try,” I state, not confident in my own approach anymore as I walk up to the lane. Slowly, I try my best to line my arm with the pins and aim where I want the ball to go. Unfortunately, as soon as my fingers release my grip on the ball, it spins down the lane right into the gutter. A heavy sigh exits my lips as I pick up another ball, aiming my arm for the eventual toss. “Hey, Dagi?” Rainbow states to get my attention, causing me to look back at her. “I know this sounds weird, but before you throw that ball, I want you to think about something very special to you. Line up your stance and not just your arm. As soon as the image of that concept comes to mind, throw the ball, okay?” The uncharacteristically wise statement from Rainbow Dash shocks me at first, making me do a double take for a moment before Rainbow nods her head, telling me to go ahead. Despite my own disbelief at her advice, I follow it as best as I can, lining my body up with the lane as well as my arm. Looking at the red and yellow ball, I can’t help but smile to myself slightly, thinking of her once more. I suppose she is the most important person in my life right now…  Closing my eyes, I exhale slowly, raising my arm behind me. I suppose this is like my life… Trying to throw my shots, Sunset taking every one of them and accepting me how I am, no matter what I do. She’s always been there for me… So, it kind of hurts to think I am willing to risk it all for a simple feeling… I could just lie and keep it a secret. Quickly throwing my arm forward and letting go of the ball, I hear the ball hit the floor, the sound of falling pins not that far behind. Opening my eyes, I look at the scoreboard to see five of the pins were knocked down. I guess that’s not horrible… It’s still a far cry from my usual hit streak of 9 pins.  Rainbow, chuckling at my score, stands up and pats me on the back as she grabs her ball. “That wasn’t that bad. You’ll get your chance to try again soon,” she states as kindly as she can, walking past me to the lane. It’s easy for her to say though. She’s always getting strikes. Sitting down on the chair nearest to the ball lane, I watch Rainbow Dash do the same steps that I just did, but this time, she keeps her eyes fully open to look at the pins. For a moment, I feel anticipation to see Rainbow’s throw, but she stays where she is for a while longer, not daring to move from her spot. “Dagi?” she asks, again trying to grab my attention.  “Yeah?” I respond carefully, wondering exactly what she wants to say. “Who was it that you thought about?” Dash asks me suddenly, throwing her ball down the lane right after her statement. The sound of crashing pins hits us both as Dash turns toward me, her normally humorous expression now replaced with an oddly serious one. “W-who?” I ask a bit hesitantly, looking away for a second. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just thought of my favorite dessert, that’s all.” Rainbow, who usually jokes around with talks like these, sighs a bit at my answer, stopping my hand as I reach for a ball.  “Don’t lie with me, Dagi. Who is it?” she asks again, a bit more forcefully than before. Her stare isn’t necessarily a mean one, but it still intimidates me slightly. “You’ve been acting weirdly for the past week at least…” “What makes you think that someone is on my mind?” I ask blankly, avoiding her gaze as I grab a ball and walk towards the lane.  An aggravated sigh comes from Rainbow before she turns around and walks up beside me, looking at me again. “Because, Dagi, I know how it feels. I recognize this constant hesitancy and the switching behaviors. Someone is on your mind and it’s tearing you up from the inside out, isn’t it?” Turning around, she walks back towards the seats and sits down slowly, seemingly thinking of what to say. “I’ve gone through the same thing. The wishy washy mannerisms, the constant nights awake, thinking of what to do. It sucks,” Rainbow sighs, looking towards me with a look that tells me she understands how I feel. Her eyes penetrate my soul much harder than I could have expected, making me feel like we can understand each other, but I’m also the one hiding everything. Rainbow Dash is my friend, I suppose… And she’s only trying to help me here… “Look, I ain’t gonna force ya to say anything, but I like our daily talks and I even consider us friends, so I want to be there for you. So, it sucks when I can’t help someone else who’s clearly gone through the same thing I did… And maybe I can help them avoid the mistakes I made…” Rainbow Dash’s eyes avert her gaze, looking towards the other bowling lanes with a sad look to her eyes. “What did you do?” I ask quietly, still standing in front of the lane. Maybe I look stupid standing here, but at this moment, I don’t quite care. Rainbow is clearly trying to help me escape something that she experienced… A part of me doesn’t necessarily want to hear what she has to say, afraid of what might come out of her lips, but another part of me wants to heed her advice and to comfort her…  “Simple… I waited too long…” For a moment, Rainbow sits idly and crosses her arms, trying to avoid looking at me. “Someone else got to them before I could… I worked myself up to actually confess my thoughts about them, but… well, yeah. Anyway, I’m just saying I can recognize those feelings. The daydreaming, absent minded… Even the constant fidgeting when it comes to the topic of friendship or close connections…” Rainbow’s eyes suddenly look towards me after she hears the pins falling down, watching me walk back to the seats.  “I’ll tell you… But you have to promise you won’t say anything to anyone else. Got it?” Rainbow Dash simply nods her head, a sigh coming from my mouth. I didn’t necessarily want to tell anyone else, but… I suppose I can trust Dash. Here goes nothing. ================================================== “Wait, AJ said that?” Rainbow’s voice asks me through the bite of a hamburger in her mouth. Clearly, what I said is surprising to Rainbow, making her do a double take on my statement. So far, our conversation has gone by rather peacefully, Rainbow fully accepting what I’ve told her about my life since early December. Of course, Rainbow Dash won our little game earlier, which led to her buying us both a burger inside the bowling alley.  With a nod, I take a bite out of my own food, waiting to fully swallow it before I speak again. “Yeah, she did. She even fired me from being Apple Bloom’s teacher without asking her and told us both to stay away from each other,” I state quietly, stirring a singular fry in the small amount of ketchup I have on my wrapper for my burger.  “Huh, that’s… odd. I thought AJ would be the most likely person to give you the benefit of a doubt. Did you say anything back to her? Or at least defend yourself?” With a slight shake of my head, Rainbow Dash’s jaw drops slightly, looking confused and shocked while she’s at it. “W-why?!” she exclaims in a more angry tone than before, clearly wanting to know why I chose not to talk to Applejack. “She didn’t really let me… Even if she did, I don’t think she would have believed anything I said, due to how angry she was.” A small silence passes as we both look away from each other and eat more of our food, Rainbow Dash finishing off her second burger quite easily.  “I-I see… Well, I can talk with AJ. She’s one of my best friends and I’m sure she’ll listen to me, you know?” “Please don’t. I want to make a good impression of myself, Dash. Not have someone else fight my battles for me,” I whisper, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. “Besides, Sunset taught me that it’s always best to be honest… So, that’s why I have to tell her.” Hearing a loud slurp of a drink, I open my eyes and look up to Rainbow, who has now kicked her feet up on the table with a chuckle to herself.  “You’re damn right. Look, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s better to be honest about your feelings. Sometimes, people say I’m too honest, but I know you would feel much better confronting this earlier on than regretting it later.” The weirdly prolific Rainbow Dash ruins her whole wise appearance by taking one of my fries and dumping it in the ketchup, proceeding to eat it whole. “Thanks for telling me, Dagi. About all this. I’m glad Sunset really means so much to you, since… well, I was scared that you were trying to use her at first.” Rainbow’s statement, despite the understandable intentions behind it, hurts me as I hear it. I can’t really blame her for thinking that at first though. I was a really awful person in the past… Hell, I still feel like I am, but Sunset keeps telling me otherwise. “The only advice I can give? Tell her as soon as you can, but make it genuine, yeah? Don’t just tell her out of the blue, you know?”  A smirk appears on my face, giggling at her statement slightly. Rainbow’s face contorts into a confused expression upon hearing my laughter, looking at me with a hint of “what’s so funny?” in her eyes. Intrigued, Rainbow slowly leans forward after taking her feet off the table, confusion fully displayed on her face. “Hey, whatcha thinking about?” she asks me quietly. Another moment passes before my laughter subsides, leaving me with just a smile written across my face. “Well, I was actually thinking of taking her stargazing after Valentine’s Day. It would be the perfect way to tell her, in my opinion.” “Stargazing, huh? Well, I’m not one for sappy stuff like that, but… knowing Sunset, I think she would love that.” A happy smile encompasses Rainbow’s face, nodding to my idea for a moment. “I think you should go for it~” =============================================== Walking past the open gate of my apartment complex, I can’t help but smile to myself, looking at the bright sky and bringing my hand to my scarf once more. Today is the day I try to meet her friends… Well, I admit, it is nerve wracking, but with everything that’s happened, I know it’s the best thing I can do right now. Even if they don’t react in the best way, I still need to try and make a good impression. Sunset even called me last night and told me that it really meant a lot to her that I was doing this, so honestly? Her happiness makes it all worth it in the end…  Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle even helped me prepare yesterday for this, but it wasn’t the same without Apple Bloom… I suppose she was probably grounded for talking with me. The thought of sweet and innocent Apple Bloom being punished just because of me made me feel sick… I don’t want to be the cause of bad things for my new friends. I just want to be there for them and let them know that I do care about them. Honestly, my life is a lot better than it once was, getting close with people, getting a new job, hanging out with Sunset. Falling in love with her… it all makes my life ten times better, even if Sunset does deserve someone better. At least I’m taking her advice head on by being honest with myself.  If I remember correctly, we’re all supposed to meet at Garden Hooves Park and play some sort of scavenger game where we have to find items around town. It shouldn’t last much past sundown, so it would be perfect if I could convince Sunset to hang out with me a bit longer… Honestly, I must have practiced the lines in my head a dozen times, but I still forget what I want to say… No matter what I do, I get tongue tied and can’t seem to communicate my feelings clearly. Scootaloo told me to try to speak as naturally I can and not care exactly what I say. As long as it comes from my heart, the message should come across. It is good advice, but I don’t quite know if I can pull it off in real life… On the other hand, Sweetie Belle told me that maybe I should bring a drink with me to avoid a dry mouth from the nerves. Then I can avoid tripping over my own words, according to her.  I really can’t thank those two enough. Or Rainbow Dash… Rainbow talked with me every day, even after our long discussion and helped me try to practice my confession for Sunset. Given, every attempt went horribly with Rainbow Dash rolling on the floor laughing, but it still helped slightly. Honestly, the only thing that could have made this better is if Apple Bloom was here to pep talk me a little bit. Despite her age and childish dreams and ambitions, she still has quite a few wise words to share. Still, she would want me to go through with this. Honestly, I feel scared as all hell that Sunset will reject me, but with everything said between the two of us, I feel… a little hopeful that things won’t go that way. At least, I hope… Walking past Halo Bakery, I quicken my pace, trying to make sure I get there on time. It’s better to be present early than late, especially when making a good impression. That sort of lesson is something I learned when trying to apply for different jobs. I’ve saved up enough money recently as well, so maybe I could take Sunset to Halo Bakery before our stargazing. I am not sure if she would like it, but I would hope so, knowing how much of a sweet tooth she can have. Regardless, I still need to focus my efforts on her friends first and make sure they get to know the better me before I tell Sunset what’s been on my mind for the better part of a couple weeks at this point.  Honestly, a small part of me wishes Sonata and Aria were here… It would be really nice to share my life with them once again and show them how much I’ve improved. Maybe they wouldn’t accept the new me, but at least I would get to see them one more time… It would be nice to just hug them and tell them how sorry I am for ruining our friendship. To tell them how sorry I am for being so hard on them… To apologize for my constant belittlement and maybe hear how their lives are going. Regardless, I did ruin everything with them, so maybe it’s better for them to be far away from here. They don’t need that same old scar reopened by seeing me again. They deserve a peaceful and happy life. So, I guess it begs the question if I deserve the same or not… Silently passing into a particular alleyway, I feel my nerves fire up throughout my body, nervous emotions racing inside as I close my eyes. The park itself isn’t that far away, so it shouldn’t be a problem to get there on time. Despite the constant preparation, I still feel nervous about this meeting. No matter what I try to think, my body knows the big risk that I’m taking today… I suppose I could reject my own feelings for a bit longer, but… I’m tired of being careful…  Closing my eyes, I shake my head quietly. No, I have to remain hopeful… No matter what, I can’t slip back to that mindset. I need to have a little hope that… everything will be alright. I’ve spent so much time proving to myself that life can be better. Sunset helped me realize that. She helped me find happiness in life without power. She helped me find friendship and these wonderful feelings. I suppose that’s why I love her… I need to hope, right? Walking towards the gate of the park, I nod silently, reassuring myself that this is it. This is the right thing to do. Before I even open the gate, I take a peak over the wall surrounding the park. In the center of Garden Hooves Park, I can quickly see all seven of them, talking amongst each other with Sunset seemingly explaining something to all of them. The last time I saw most of them was more than a year ago, back at the Battle of the Bands… Honestly, those memories don’t make me smile, but seeing these girls again brings them back nonetheless. Hopefully, they will find it in their hearts to forgive me. Closing my eyes, I turn away from the wall and gently grab onto the gate’s latch, turning it slightly.  “Sunset! Why did you do that?! I don’t trust her. She’s up to something and I don’t want ya hurt, sugarcube!” My hand stops in its place as I overhear Applejack yell at Sunset, looking over the wall slightly again. Applejack, clearly agitated, takes a couple steps away from everyone else before turning back around. “Am I just crazy or shouldn’t we be careful around them?” she asks the others before turning her gaze back to Sunset. “You’ve got it all wrong. She’s not in contact with the other sirens anymore and she’s been as good of a friend to me as she can be. We have had multiple sleepovers and all she wants is the best for me,” Sunset states in a calm and collected voice towards Applejack.  “Well, to be honest, darling, it would be completely rational to think that maybe they aren’t together anymore due to… Adagio’s personality,” Rarity slowly says, raising her hand to her eyes. “I mean, don’t you think that maybe she’s playing you? Adagio Dazzle is quite clever, as much as I hate to admit it.” She’s… right… I did push them away… It was always my fault that they left…  “Um… she did kind of… try to kill us all,” Fluttershy’s meak voice speaks up, looking away from Sunset as her body slightly shivers. “I… I know that people can change and all, but… I’m still having nightmares… and they were really manipulative… I don’t want to go through that again…” I’m… so sorry… for causing this much pain for you. “Fluttershy, I promise she’s not the same person as before,” Sunset says as kindly as she can, petting her shoulder like she’s done to me a thousand times before.  “But can you really be certain of that…?” Pinkie Pie slowly states, her hair straighter than usual. “I just… don’t feel in the mood to throw a big party about seeing her again. If you really want me to, then I will, but… yeah…” Pinkie shouldn’t have to see me again if she doesn’t want to… Why did I hurt them so much back then…? Why, Adagio? “See? Even Pinkie Pie, who is the most outgoing of us all, thinks this is a bad idea!” Applejack exclaims, looking at Sunset with anger in her eyes.  “Hey! I’ll have you know that Adagio is a damn good coworker and friend!” Rainbow yells back at Applejack, stepping in front of Sunset. “We talk everyday and she told me how mean you were to her! Why would you act like this, AJ? Don’t you believe in second chances?” “Oh, so you’re working with her now?” Applejack states with surprise, averting her gaze to Rainbow. “Is she manipulating you too now? I thought you would have been smarter than that, Dashie,” the cowgirl complains, both girls taking a step towards each other. Rainbow Dash shouldn’t be defending someone like me… “Oh yeah? I’m not smart, huh?” Rainbow says in anger, about to get closer to the cowgirl before Rarity steps between them.  “Darlings, don’t you dare fight here and now. As much as she may… seem changed to you, I believe Applejack is right here,” the fashionista says as she holds her hands out to the both of them.  “Oh, come on, Rarity! You’re only saying that because your girlfriend is saying it.” Rainbow throws out her words while rolling her eyes, quickly being slapped by Rarity afterward. Rainbow steps back in pain and groans as she holds her cheek. “What the hell?” Rainbow shouldn’t be hurt because of me… None of this shit should be happening… They all deserve to be happy together, instead of chaos being sewn between them. Slowly, Twilight Sparkle steps up to them and tries to keep everyone from fighting anymore than possible. “Look, I know I wasn’t there instead of my other version when the sirens attacked, but I know more than my fair share of how hard it is to redeem yourself. Especially after the Friendship Games…” Twilight’s head turns away from the others for a moment, thinking of what to say. “Don’t you think she deserves to be heard out at least? Especially after everything Sunset and Rainbow told us?” she states quickly as her gaze switches between everyone involved. “We could take it from both sides? We could meet Adagio, but in smaller groups so that we’re not as stressed about it?” “And risk ya getting mind controlled? No thanks!” Applejack quickly interjects, shaking her head at Twilight’s answer. “I’m sorry, sugarcubes, but there’s more of us that are clearly afraid of accepting her back with open arms. It’s not safe and I don’t think she has your best interests at heart.” The cowgirl slowly steps away from the group, readjusting her hat. She’s right… I’m not safe for her. I would just ruin her life, intentionally or not… “She’s just a monster and that’s probably all she’ll ever be.”  Slowly, my hand releases the gate’s latch, my eyes leaving the girls. Everything they said is true… Every fear Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy have is justified and every single skeptical thought is true. I fucking pushed my only friends away… I manipulated Sunset into being my friend and god… I am even trying to make her love me too… I was always evil. I only ever thought of myself. Why should now be different, right? Sunset deserves someone who would be accepted. She deserves someone who would make her life better… She deserves someone far better than I. I’m just a monster… Feeling the tears well up in my eyes, my legs begin to shake as I try to hold back the urge to cry, finally taking my first steps away from that damned gate.