Fighting Games Aren't Just For Mares!

by DizzyChicks

Information Spreads

It was a gorgeous day in Ponyville. Celestia's sun shined brightly as birds chirped and gave food to their offspring. Various vendors mingled in the marketplace with their customers, selling products. Damien moved through the marketplace, dodging and weaving between ponies. After the excitement from yesterday, he said goodbye to Rainbow Dash and promised to make it up to her having to wait so long for him at Controller Hooves. He was supposed to meet Dash at the SugarCube Corner for their meeting plans.

Damien didn't mind going there, after all, he had quite a sweet tooth. However, he wasn't a fan of one of the workers there. The one and only Pinkie Pie. The pink earth pony was one of Rainbow Dash's best friends, the Element of Laughter, and the CEO of Parties. Damien didn't outright hate Pinkie Pie, far from it. In fact, she threw him a "Welcome to Ponyville Alien/Otherworldly Being!?" party for him. He was quite touched (and a little freaked out that she made a party for him in a week) but the mare had some problems. For starters, she seemed to bend reality. Not like the magic in this world, but almost Lovecraftian. Pinkie Pie somehow knew his birthday month right down to the minute and told him she would throw him a birthday party when the time came. He never told her that! She would also pull random things out of her mane, bulge her eyes out her skull like a cartoon, and somehow gave Damien a comb, HE HAD LOST IN HIS HOUSE.

Damien jogged up to a huge building with a giant cupcake on the top. There it was, Sugarcube Corner.

"Wait, SugarCube? Is that another fucking horse pu-,"

"DAMIEN!" Rainbow Dash screamed. She was standing in front of the entrance waving her hoof. "What took you so long?"

Damien glanced at the town clock. It was one minute before twelve. He rolled his eyes and walked towards Rainbow Dash with a confused expression.

"I literally came a minute early," he said.

"Exactly! Don't you know what everypony says about being ear-,"

"No," Damien interrupted. "Can we just talk"- he points at Sugarcube Corner- "away from this place?"

Rainbow Dash giggles and walks closer to the door.

"Cooooooome Ooooooon," she whines. "I already told Pinkie Pie to cool it with the Pinkie Pieness." She pushes past the double door and walks into the building.

Damien follows suit, grumbling to himself about demons.

"At least this place smells nice," Damien thought. The venue was filled with a heavenly sugary smell. He surveyed his surroundings not wanting any of Pinkie Pie's antics catching him off guard.

Rainbow Dash was already at the register talking with Pinkie Pie and laughing. Damien locked eyes with her and she smiled at him.

"Hey, Dammie!" Pinkie greeted. "I heard you had some wowie zowie excitement at Controller Hooves yesterday."

Damien walked up to the register and lead on the counter.

"Yeah! Some mare was talking trash to me there after beating her in a game," Damien explained. "Things got a bit heated after that but we put aside our differences and now I got to make it up to Dash because we stayed way longer than she wanted," he finished.

Pinkie Pie nodded her head and bounced behind the counter.

"That's certainly no way to treat such a cute stallion, like yourself!" Pinkie Pie replied. She faked punched then followed it up with a duck and giggled to herself. She then tilted her head quickly which Damien thought was quite cute. "So, why did you guys come here?" Her eyes widen as she realized what she said. "N-n-n-not that I mind anyway, Dash is one of my best friends in the whole widest biggest world, and so are you Damien even though I don't know you that well, but you seem nice and"-

Rainbow Dash shoved her hoof into Pinkie's face interrupting her rant.

"That's really fucking gross, they literally walk on those," Damien thought.

"Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash snapped. Pinkie Pie stopped talking but her curly mane suddenly started TALKING since her mouth couldn't move. Damien took several steps back.

"She sure turned down her Pinkie Pieness," Damien remarked sarcastically.

"Pinkie!" Rainbow Dash repeated loudly. Pinkie Pie's mane stopped speaking. Rainbow Dash slowly removed her hoof from Pinkie Pie's mouth. She shook her mane and wiggled her mouth and looked at Damien and Rainbow Dash sheepishly.

"Sorry, Dashie", Pinkie Pie started. "You know how I get when I'm flustered."

Rainbow Dash waved it off.

"It's fine, we just came for some sweets, isn't that right, Damien?" Rainbow Dash said as she looked at him smugly.

Damien didn't really want sweets, but he did promise to make it up to Rainbow Dash. That's probably why she picked to come to the Sugarcube Corner. Rainbow Dash ordered three cupcakes and Damien ordered some gummy bears, which he had no idea existed in Equestria. After Damien paid for the treats, the pair said goodbye to Pinkie Pie and left. They walked around town while eating their food.

"Dash, you could have told me you wanted candy."

"I thought stallions didn't like candy because it makes them fat."

"I'm not your average stallion."


They sat on a bench waiting for their food to digest.

"This is nice," Damien thought. He looked towards Rainbow Dash who was asleep next to him snoring. It was truly a beautiful day. When Damien learned pegasi controlled the weather, it knocked him off of his feet. He adjusted Rainbow Dash and she leaned on his lap getting comfortable. A bit of drool was coming out of her mouth as she muttered something about flying cheese. Despite her previous actions pissing him off, it was no different from something he would have done to his friends back on Earth. They probably would have laughed and made fun of him for getting a "useless degree" and he would retort back with something on the lines of "I fucked your mom".

Happy memories flooded back to him as Damien desperately tried to push them down. He hadn't given up hope of going home, but it's been almost three years. The memories were just way too hurtful and it was better to just ignore them. He hadn't had an episode quite like this in a while. Going to the arcade and playing Hoof Fighter must have triggered these buried memories. Playing games with his friends, hugging his parents, seeing his baby nephew. The pain was almost too much to bear. Damien could feel his eyes start to water as he fought with his psyche.

Why did he leave that day? Just because his family was too loud? He told them he would be back and he never returned. At this point, the local government probably ended his search investigation and declared him dead. Would he truly ever see his friends and family again?


Damien jumped somehow not waking Rainbow Dash. He looked around for the unidentified voice. To his right was a sushi-colored unicorn mare with orange eyes. She had a black fedora with white stripes on the front and brown on the back. The mare was also holding a quill and notebook in a greenish telekinesis bubble. On her flank were a picture of a quill and paper.

"Nice to meet ya, I'm Parchment Crop," The sushi-colored unicorn greeted. "I wanted to get an interview, one on one with the alien stallion that defeated a mare in Hoof Fighter!"

Damien was floored. Who the hell was this and why did she have a New York accent?

"Uh," Damien started. "Who the hell are you and why do you sound like that?"

"I already told you, I'm Parchment Crop and I'm from Manehatten, colt!"

Damien's eye twitched at the pun.

"I'm going to lose it in Ponyhell," Damien thought about finally burning Equestria down.

His plans for destruction were unfortunately ruined by Rainbow Dash waking up and falling out of the park bench.

"What, Huh, Hey?" Rainbow Dash slurred as she turned to recover her bearings. She wiped the drool off of her face and looked at the unicorn.

"Who the hay are you?" Dash rudely asked.

"Parchment Crop."

"Damien, do you know this mare?"

Damien got up from the bench and wiped Rainbow Dash's drool off his pants.

"No Dash, I don't know who this mare is." He glanced at Parchment Crop as she began scribbling things in her notebook. "Apparently, she wants to interview me after beating Sunset Petal yesterday.

Parchment Crop raised her eyebrows.

"You mean Sunset Petal, younger sister of Ivory Petal?" The mare clapped her hooves together. "The younger sister of the International Hoof Fighting Championship? Parchment Crop eyed Damien like a piece of meat. "I thought this story was already pretty good, but now it's even better," she squealed.

Damien and Rainbow Dash looked at each other with various emotions and looked back at Parchment Crop. She continued to beam at Damien. Damien didn't even know this pony and now she wants to use him to push a story? Fat chance.

"Listen, lady, I don't know who you are"-

"I already told you, Parchment Crop, and I work at the Manehatten Inquirer!"

"I don't give a shit."

Rainbow Dash got into the mare's face.

"He said he doesn't care so back off!" Rainbow Dash bellowed.

Parchment Crop adjusted her hat and looked Rainbow Dash dead in the eyes. "Are you his marefriend?" She asked.

Rainbow Dash quickly blushed and backed up. "N-n-n-n-n-no!" She stammered.

Parchment Crop quickly wrote more things into her notebook and looked at Damien.

"Look, I know you don't trust reporters", said Parchment Crop, "but I can make it worth your while."

Damien looked interested in the unicorn.

"Gotcha, colt,"She thought. "If I interview you and my story sells, you'll be known everywhere!" she said while smirking. "You can show off your skills to everyone!" The unicorn leans closer to Damien. "Between you and me, I heard some ponies think your win was a fluke, I mean a STALLION winning in a game like that?" she lies.

Damien hated that. People undermining his victories seriously pissed him off. He fell for the bait, hook, line, and sinker. Damien tapped his foot irritatingly and ran his fingers through his hair. "She's right, they are all probably thinking it." He glances at Rainbow Dash, who is still staring daggers at Parchment Crop. "Could Rainbow Dash feel the same?" he ponders. "Alright, we can do the interview," Damien replies.

Parchment Crop cheers and pumps her hoof.

"Two conditions-" He points to Rainbow Dash- "she tags along and watches the interview." Damien then points in the direction of his house. "We do the interview in my home."

Damien didn't quite trust this reporter but he did trust Rainbow Dash and knew she would put an end to any funny business.

Parchment Crop shrugged and nodded. "I'm fine with these terms."

Damien massaged his shoulders and started walking.

"Follow me."