//------------------------------// // A Morning With Rainbow Dash // Story: A Date With Rainbow Dash // by AwkwardInfo //------------------------------// Ahh…now this was the life. Granted, it wasn’t exactly what you were expecting in this world of technicolor talking horses, literal gods, and no internet connection, but still; it could be worse. You sigh as you sink lower into your cloud mattress, a goofy smile etched onto your face as you pull the soft blankets closer to you. You had worked as hard as you could to turn this old worn-out cottage into a nice home, and you think you did a pretty good job, all things considered. Sure, the ceilings may be a bit too low for your liking, and the lack of insulation was always a problem during the colder months, but even so, it was enough for you to get by without dying, so you considered that a plus, at least. It had been an odd experience, suddenly being thrust into this land of ponies, but you’d adjusted quite well into their society. Granted, the whole ‘everyone is nude and you are not’ thing took a bit of getting used to, but after a bit, you learned to deal with it. It’s not like they really had anything to look at, anyway. You’d also made quite a few friends during this time as well. There was obviously Twilight, the loveable little egghead who overreacted whenever a book in her library was out of place. Applejack, the strong Southern pony who helped out on a farm and somehow also had time off to have fun with her friends (although that might have to do with you working there. Plucking them off was much better than kicking or punching them like this was a game of Minecraft.). There was also Rarity, who had found a way to reverse-engineer a machine that could create clothes for humans. Pinkie Pie was a complete nut job who just broke the laws of everything around her for the fun of doing so. Fluttershy was a cute, shy little introvert who liked animals way more than actual ponies…and she was also your doctor. Yeah, it sounds really odd at first, but when you’re the only one of your species (that you know of) in this weird other dimension or planet or whatever, you guess this would probably check out. And then there was Rainbow Dash. Dash was…interesting, to say the least. The two of you didn’t really get off on the right foot. Apparently you were just standing at the wrong place at the wrong time and then suddenly— BAM! KO’d by Mach Pony. While you were busy laying in the ground trying to breathe in that precious air that this random pegasus pony knocked out of you, she decided that that was totally the right moment to start getting really angry with you about how you were in her way and had somehow made her crash into you by just existing. And that was when you met her the first time. That didn’t count all the other times she ran into you. You’d been told by the rest of her friends (who you just so happened to be acquainted with. Go figure.) that she had a tendency to crash quite often when she was doing tricks. Heck, that was even how some of them met! But even they knew that the amount of times that she had landed on you was a bit too coincidental, even for her. But believe it or not, that wasn’t even the weirdest part. No, the weirdest part was how she acted towards you. Being friends with someone who had other friends naturally meant that you had to interact with Dash sooner or later, and the times that you happened to be in near vicinity of each other was like rolling a die since you had no idea how she would react. Sometimes she’d ignore you, which was normally the best option. Sometimes she’d sarcastically remark about your looks or how you were some weird abomination that shouldn’t exist in this world, which…yeah, you couldn’t really argue with her there. And sometimes… KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK! “Hey, you in there? I wanna hang!” She literally wouldn’t leave you alone. You sigh heavily, pulling off your blankets and leaving your literal slice of Heaven as you begrudgingly made your way out of the bedroom. Let’s just get this over with. So, with a sigh, you turn the knob and open the front door. “What do you want, Rainbow—” FWOOSH! “…Dash.” You finish, blinking furiously and shaking your head wildly to get the hair out of your eyes. Your bed head was already terrible enough to deal with on its own, but getting it all frizzed up by a pony known for going fast? Not exactly the best way to start your day. “Hey, where’s your food? I’m hungry!” You hear the cyan intruder yell from the kitchen. Figures she’d be thinking about food. With how much she sleeps and works out, she must have the biggest stomach in all of Equestria…minus Pinkie, but she doesn’t count. Pinkie is an anomaly that the universe just can’t account for. You close the front door and head into the kitchen. Wouldn’t want to let in any more hot air than there already was, after all. Good timing, too, seeing as how Dash was basically tearing up the kitchen as she tried to find any speck of food you had left laying around the house. “Yeah, I don’t have anything. Sorry.” You answer, shrugging nonchalantly. “Wh-what? Why?!” She cried, looking at you like you just used her tortoise to gain infinite lives. You give her a deadpan look. “Dash, you do realize I need money to pay for food, right?” She purses her lips into a frown, seemingly concentrating really hard. “Yeah, but I thought you got a lot because you’re end…endand…en—” “Endangered?” “Yeah, that!” She smiles proudly, feeling very smart that she used an egghead word. “Yeah, well, I do, except that there’s been someone who keeps eating my food every time they come over.” I give her a pointed glare. “Aww, c’mon! I don’t come over that often!” “You’ve literally set up your house above mine, and added your own cloud staircase to get to my attic.” “That’s just for convenience!” “Yeah, sure, and I can fly.” “You can?!” “No!” You groan loudly, rubbing your temples. Sometimes talking to her gives you a headache. “Oh…” Dash looked down at the floor, disappointment in her voice. “Listen, I get that you wanna hang out with me, and honestly, I wanna hang out with you too.” She seemed to perk up slightly at your comment. “But the more you keep coming over, the more ponies will get the wrong idea.” “Wh-what?!” She turned away from you to hide her now blushing cheeks. “I-I mean…pffft! Me? Like you? Th-that’s so stupid!” “Okay, first off, ouch, my pride. And second off…really? I may be a boy…or a man or stallion or whatever you wanna call me—” “Monkey.” “—but even I can tell that you’re playing hard to get cause you like me.” “I DON’T LIKE YOU!” Dash cried out much louder than necessary. Her eyes went wide as she realized what she said. “N-not like that, I mean! I mean, sure, you’re a pretty cool guy, at least, for a stallion. N-not that stallions can’t be good at all, that is! You’re just better than the ones that I’ve met! And you’re also kinda hot, too…but it’s not like you’re that hot! You’ve just got a nice butt, that looks way better than other stallions…but I still don’t like you! Not like that, anyway! I mean, even if I did, I’d probably just try to pin you down and force you to like me. That way it’d be easier for me to f—” “Dash?” She looks up to you, her entire face burning as red as her mane. “Y-yeah?” You put a hand on her muzzle to close her mouth, fingers wrapped around it like a…well, a muzzle. “Shut.” She gives you an unenthused glare, the heat going straight from her cheeks into the glare from her eyes. Totally worth it, though. Still, despite how hard she kept trying to hide it, even she couldn’t pull the wool over you that easily. You knew that she had a cute little crush on you, and as much as you’d love to argue with her all day, you knew she wasn’t going to give up her secret no matter how hard you tried. This was Rainbow Dash, after all. The only thing that could make her admit her feelings towards you would be… Bingo. “You know what? Fine.” You pull your hand away from her mouth as Dash raises an eyebrow at your sudden change in attitude. “You totally don’t have a crush on me. I give up. You’ve won, Dashie. I have been thoroughly beaten by the likes of the most awesome pony in Equestria yet again.” You fall onto your chair dramatically, doing your best Rarity impression, swooning with a hand over your forehead. “What’re you doing?” Dash asks, completely bewildered. “I’m admitting my defeat, Rainbow Dash! Can’t you see?” You fall to your knees in front of her, practically pleading to the prismatic pony. “I’m telling you how wrong I was, and I’m wanting to apologize for my actions. Is that so wrong?” You flop over on the ground, making her step back a little. “Will you forgive me?” Her face was getting redder and redder again by the second, making her gulp audibly as you see her throat muscles tense as she swallows, eyes darting around the room and not onto your nicely toned backside that you were very obviously not wiggling ever so slightly to entice her. “I-I…uhh…y-yeah, okay, I forgive ya, alright?!” She looks away, squeezing her eyes shut to forget the image of you shaking your butt in something more…appealing. “Just stop doing that, alright?!” “Oh, thank you, Dashie!” You jump up and wrap her in your arms before she could fly away. You could feel the heat from her face spread rapidly across the rest of her body as she squirmed under your grasp. “G-GET OFFA ME!” She squealed, using her wings to break your grip and escape. You give a small chuckle at how desperate she looks to leave, but you weren’t done teasing her just yet. Time for the killing blow. “Actually…” You smirk as you see her ears perk up, bringing her attention back to you. “Since you’re so confident that you could never crush on such a hunk of a man, like me,” You kiss your nonexistent muscles on your arm. “How about we go out tonight…on a date?” The color in her once burning red face seems to drain immediately at the mere suggestion of the ‘D word’, her pupils now pinpricks as she realizes what she had inadvertently started by coming into your house to steal some food. “A d-d-date?” She gulps, her legs shaking slightly. “Yeah! I mean, you obviously don’t have any romantic feelings for me whatsoever, right?” You wink at her very inconspicuously. “So there’s no reason to be nervous about it! It’s just the two of us…alone…on a Friday night…as friends. Nothing wrong with that, right? Unless…” You gasp, slapping a hand to your cheek in mock surprise. “You’re chicken?” Her eye twitches as you see her go through a million and one different emotions all in the span of about 5 seconds. Ladies and gentlemen; we’ve got her. “FINE!” She finally roars at you, jumping up into the air and flapping her wings furiously. “You wanna go on a date so bad? I’ll give you a date! In fact, I’m gonna date you so hard that you won’t even be able to think about seeing any other mare without thinking about how awesome I was at dating you! Mark my words!” It takes you all the effort you can to not burst out into the biggest grin, instead giving her a cute little smirk. “I’ll take your word for it, then.” She gives a low growl through clenched teeth at your reaction. She may have been losing her cool, but this was a competition, now. And Rainbow Dash would never back out of a competition. “6:00. Sugarcube Corner. I’m paying.” And with that, she rocketed out of the room and into the sky, already concocting plans of what she was going to do to blow you away. And you wouldn’t miss it for the world.