The Dunk Tank of Doom

by Mind Jack


Get Dunked On

"This is Nightmare Moon all over again."

Scootaloo stared at her crashed scooter. It was tangled in a bush, but not badly damaged. That wasn't the worst tragedy here, though.

Hoofsteps approached. Scootaloo whirled around, seeing two nightmarish figures looming over her, rictus grins across their faces. 

"Mercy!" Scootaloo yelled, back against the thick brush.

But Applebloom and Sweetie Belle had none.

"You know what this means!" Sweetie Belle said, grin only ever getting bigger.

It was Applebloom who said the words Scootaloo dreaded: "You lost the bet!"

"Noooooo!" Scootaloo dramatically flopped onto her belly. "Darnit…"

Sweetie Belle helped her up. "You doing okay? Jokes aside, that was a pretty rough crash."

"I'm fine…" Scootaloo grumbled. "Do I really have to take your place in the dunk tank?"

"The carnival needs somepony to do it," Applebloom confirmed. 

"It's for a good cause," Sweetie Belle reminded. "All the proceeds from the carnival are going to the Equestria Orphans Fund."

"I guess that's true." Scootaloo sighed. "Alright… I'll do it."

"Yay!" Sweetie and Applebloom chorused. 

Up above, there was a loud boom. Scootaloo looked up to see a rainbow blooming across the sky, as the one true Rainbow raced towards them.

Rainbow Dash skidded to a stop. "You okay, Squirt?" the prismatic pegasus asked, frowning. "I was up above. That looked like a nasty crash."

"I'm fine," Scootaloo assured. "I bet Sweetie Belle and Applebloom that with a big enough ramp, I could jump over White Tail Woods, and… well…" She gestured with her head towards the crashed scooter, wearing a sheepish grin.

"Oof. Lost a bet, huh?" Rainbow said sympathetically. "What do you have to do?"

"She's gotta take my place at the dunk tank at the charity carnival," Sweetie explained. 

Rainbow perked up. "Hey! I used to do something like that when I was a filly, up in Cloudsdale."

"Really?" Scootaloo said, starting to get more enthusiastic at the thought of following in Rainbow's hoofsteps.

"Hay yeah!" Rainbow replied. "I was the awesomest at it, and I'm sure you'll do great too, Scootaloo!"

"Yeah!" Scootaloo said, standing up confidently. "I'm gonna be just as awesome as you were, Rainbow Dash!"

"That's the spirit!" Rainbow praised. "I gotta fly for now. But I'll stop by later to check up on you! See you later!"

Rainbow Dash took off. The wind she left in her wake blew all of their manes back.

Scootaloo wasn't phased. She watched her mentor fly away,  with adoration in her eyes.

Perhaps a bit too much of her attention was focused on Rainbow Dash, because her fellow crusaders used the distraction to pounce on her, and spirit her off to the carnival.


The Dreadful Dunk Tank of Doom was quite the construct. It had a big, clear tank, with a seat inside, and a button outside that caused the seat to collapse. Those were the normal parts.

The base was surrounded by a complex, realistic model of a large sea serpent, made of metal. In the center, beneath the seat, was a pool of vile-smelling, slimy, viscous water. The color was somewhere between brown and dark green.

"The water is safe," the proprietor of this carnival said to Scootaloo in an unplaceable accent. He was a squat stallion, with a grayish-brown coat, and a neat, salt-and pepper mane. His cutie mark was some kind of silver coin, shaped like a crescent moon. "Moneybags made the mixture himself. Secret recipe."

"That's good to know," Scootaloo acknowledged. "So uh… any advice you can give me?"

"Make customers miss," Moneybags advised. "Miss means maybe they buy more throws. More money for charity!"

That was a bit dishonest, but he had a point. "How do I do that?"

"Taunt. Distract." Moneybags replied. "None of Moneybags' business."

Scootaloo nodded as he opened the door for her to walk the plank. "Wish me luck."

She walked to the end of the narrow piece of wood on wobbly legs, and sat down in a chair on the very tip. The raised position gave her a good view of the rest of the carnival.

It seemed everypony in Ponyville, and maybe even some surrounding towns, had been taken by the charitable spirit. The crowd was so huge that she was able to recognize almost everypony she knew either running the games and rides, or acting as customers.

Even so, took a while for anypony to take up the challenge of the dunk tank. Moneybags slowly flagged down a line of ponies. Some of them got in line to throw, while others got together as a makeshift audience, just to watch. 

To the surprise of absolutely no one, Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were the ones who approached the throwing table.

Scootaloo started to sweat a little as she saw the smiles on their faces. Alright. Think, Scoots. How can you distract them?

Applebloom put a bit on the table, and was given a ball. She tossed it up and caught it a couple of times. 

As she drew back her hoof to throw, Scootaloo thought quickly, and blurted out: "Peaches are better than apples!"

Applebloom faltered, and missed the target by a country mile. "Ow!" exclaimed a stallion from somewhere behind the dunk tank.

"Let me have a throw!" Sweetie said eagerly, putting a bit down, and immediately preparing to throw.

"Ooh! Look at that dress!"

"What? Where?" Sweetie said excitedly. She somehow missed even worse than Applebloom, tossing the ball straight up, where it came back down.

"Hey! There's nopony in dresses here!" Sweetie noticed.

Scootaloo gave a sheepish smile. "Sorry."

The other two crusaders only looked irritated for a second, before they smiled too. "It's okay," Applebloom assured. 

"Let's see how long you can keep that up!" Sweetie challenged. 

"You're on!" Scootaloo agreed. "Who's next!?"

"That'd be me."

Her next opponent was a familiar pink earth pony, with a purple-and-white mane, and a little tiara on her head and both her flanks.

Diamond Tiara politely accepted a ball from Moneybags. "I heard you were doing this, so I thought I'd come and help out."

Dangit, DT! Now is not the time for generosity! She needed to think fast, or she was as good as dunked.

Then it hit her. Not the slime, nor the ball, but the perfect way to distract Diamond Tiara. 

"You know," Scootaloo said in as smooth a voice as she could. "You've really changed from your old bully days, Diamond."

Diamond Tiara paused, blushing. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, the old you wouldn't have been caught dead here, unless you were guilt tripped or something."

Diamond Tiara still threw, but she was just distracted enough that she barely missed.

Inwardly, Scootaloo celebrated. She was getting good at this! Outwardly, she showed only a small smile.

Diamond Tiara pouted. "Shoot. Oh well. I guess I'd better let the next pony in line have their turn." Her pout was betrayed as false by a mischievous glint in her eye.

Confused, Scootaloo looked at the pony behind Diamond, and her mouth went dry. All that confidence she'd just gained dried up.

"What's wrong, Scootaloo?" Princess Celestia asked innocently. 

The alabaster alicorn's smile was unreadable, but Scootaloo could see the cunning behind it. "N-nothing, Princess! Uh… you're not still holding a grudge over what happened last Saturday, are you?"

"Oh, you mean when you drew that rather unflattering image of me you drew on the moon?" Celestia asked, examining the ball as she put a bit down on the counter. "Now why would I still be mad about that?"

"Look! Uh… can we talk about this?" Scootaloo begged. "I swear, I'm really sorry! I've learned my lesson!"

Celestia lit up her horn, casting a targeting spell. "What should we talk about?"

Panicked, Scootaloo realized a massive stroke of luck. "My birthday party is next week!"

Celestia paused mid-throw. "I'm listening."

"Pinkie is making me a cake," Scootaloo explained quickly. 

"What kind?" Celestia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Five layers, with each a different kind of chocolate!" Scootaloo replied.

Celestia pursed her lips, thinking. "I get half."

"What!?" Scootaloo glared at her. "That's totally unfair! A quarter!"

Celestia raised the ball in her golden magic.

Scootaloo put her hooves up like somepony was holding her hostage. "Okay, okay! A third! I've got other guests coming, and half wouldn't leave enough for them."

The princess pondered it. "A third, and I get to blow out your candles."

"Wait, what? Why?" Scootaloo asked, confused. 

"I might still be holding a bit of a grudge," Celestia admitted with a smile. 

"Ugh…" Scootaloo glared at her. "Fine. Deal."

Celestia tossed her ball in an absurdly high arc, not even coming close. "Oops."

There was a loud thunk from behind the dunk tank. "Ow!" complained the same stallion who had been struck by Applebloom's ball.

Celestia winced. "I had… better go."

"Wait!" Scootaloo shouted.

Celestia paused. "Yes?"

"Look… I'm sorry for the whole 'stealing all your cake' thing, and for the moon message," Scootaloo admitted. 

Celestia smiled. "Yes. And I suppose sending you to the moon for it was a bit of an overreaction. I'm sorry too."

"So… are we good?" Scootaloo asked hesitantly. 

Celestia nodded. "I still get my share of your cake though."

Scootaloo sagged. "Can I at least blow out my candles?"

"I suppoooose," Celestia said in faux reluctance, smirking.

Scootaloo sighed in relief. "Thank you, Princess."

"You're welcome," Celestia replied. "If you'll all excuse me, I need to get back to Canterlot. I left Luna in charge, and she always tries sending Prince Blueblood to the Shadow Realm if left alone for too long."

Celestia vanished in a flash of golden light.

This was great! Scootaloo's shift would be over in just a few minutes! She was on a roll!

"That was real mature, Squirt," 

Scootaloo looked up. Rainbow Dash was perched casually on top of the tank. How had she gotten there without Scootaloo hearing or seeing her approach? Scootaloo didn't know, and that was so cool! "Rainbow! Are you here to watch?"

"Hm?" Rainbow Dash said with a coy smile, examining her wingtips. "Oh. No. I'm not here to watch."

"Huh? Then what are you here fo—" Her pupils shrank to pinpricks. "Oh. Oh no."

Wordlessly, Rainbow backflipped off the edge of the tank, gliding to the throwing table, and dropping a bit on it. 

Scootaloo looked around desperately. There had to be some way to distract Rainbow!

The attendant dropped a ball onto the table.

"Uh… aren't you nervous, doing this here with everypony watching you?" Scootaloo suggested. "Doesn't that give you stage fright?"

Rainbow stretched her wings and legs, preparing like she hadn't even heard Scootaloo.

"W-wait! Look! A talent scout for the Wonderbolts!"

Rainbow Dash tested the weight of the ball. 

"Um… Friendship problem?"

Rainbow smirked at her. "You done?"

Scootaloo sagged. "Yeah. I'm done."

"Good." Rainbow wound up her throw so fast that her throwing leg looked like a solid disk. When she threw, the ball made a sonic boom as it flew.

The ball struck the target.

Dingdingdingding! A bell rang furiously to alert the crowd of a bullseye.

The serpent wrapped around the tank let out a roar.

Time slowed down. The plank dropped out from under Scootaloo. "Noooooooo!" she cried, her voice dramatically deepened as she fell. Or, at least, it was in her head.

Scootaloo splashed down. The water was warm, thick, and gross.

Thankfully, she wasn't in there long. She felt hooves grabbing onto her, and Rainbow Dash flew her up and out of the tank like a rescue balloon. "You okay?" Rainbow asked in concern. 

Scootaloo spat out some of the disgusting mixture, coughing. "Blegh. Yeah. I'm fine." She paused, and grumbled. "A little mad I didn't have a perfect shift…"

Rainbow Dash laughed, helping Scootaloo to her hooves. "Come on," she urged. "Since your shift is up, let's go enjoy the rest of the carnival." She sniffed, realizing that the tank mixture smelled as bad as it looked. "Although… maybe we should get you cleaned up first."