The Dazzlings Are Insane

by Justice3442


The Hairpocolypse or How I Learned to Shut Up and Love the Self-Insert

Smiling wickedly, Sunset spoke the epitaph for a world once mostly full of nitrogen, and other assorted molecules. “And thus the world ended! Endless amounts of hair, the color of spun gold set on fire cascaded forth. Hair that cared not for guilt or innocence, but only for the continual growing. Growing so fast that all it caught in it's glorious wavyness knew that they would die sweaty and struggling for breath. Those trapped in cars, houses, uh… apartment buildings, condos, stores, and even skyscrapers would no longer see the light! The hair would consume all and the planet would increase in mass enough to form a new star! The Dazzling Star! And Adagio Dazzle's ego was FINALLY satisfied.” Sunset shielded her bowl of cereal with a hand from wavy locks of citrine orange hair as she scoped a colorful mix of fruit shaped morsels into her mouth. This was followed by her collecting joyous laughter from her audience and fending off swats from the dreaded keeper of the hair that never quit. "At least until she noticed the second sun and prepared for a celestial battle of the screaming stars!"

Adagio sighed heavily and picked at her white panty strap, her chest causing her white nighty to raise and fall. “Which one of you was supposed to satisfy Sunset last night?”

Aria, dressed comfortably in maroon sweats shrugged, palms in the air as her own bowl remained filled with a combination of hex-shaped  cereal, multigrain shapes, and colorful marshmallows. “Don't look at me, I was spooning someone else last night, Dag.”

“Someone else, here,” Sonata said cheerfully. Her cerulean skin mostly exposed as a frilly pink bra and panties were all she wore to the table as she dumped fruity Trix into a bowl. “I distinctly remember saying ‘goodnight’ to Sunset while she struggled to hold you around your hairdo and a blue hand gave me a thumbs up from next to a snorkel.”

“Hello! One of two people responsible for satisfying aforementioned Sunset,” a male with azure skin and midnight blue hair and beard reported, his black T-Shirt sporting, from top to bottom, the Roman numeral XIII, a shining sun, a moth with a skull design on it’s back, a large sunflower, and the word ‘Death'. This was accompanied by navy blue shorts. “I was the one with the snorkel. I distinctly remember having to clear it several times. You're welcome, she thanked me several times, and clearly being satisfied does nothing to change mood.”

“Au contraire mon frère,” Sunset replied. “If I was in a bad mood, I might have wanted to attack the local constabulary for being inefficient at stopping crazy, magic based shenanigans.”

“MMMFffff! Mmmmmfff!” A field green-skinned woman with forest grean hair, wearing a lavender bra, matching panties, ropes hogtying, and a black ball gag, seemingly protested from a dark purple eminence colored couch.

“OH, and sexy stalkers, too,” Sunset added

“To be fair,” sir’s name is hinted at in the chapters title said. “We never called the cops.”

“I uh…” Sonata squinted at the woman. “I don’t remember tying her up!”

“I do,” Aria said as she scrolled through a screen full of a hot-female hellhound pictures on her phone. “Signs point to her liking it.” She thought for a moment. “Yo, I know she's right here and all, but do you think that Wallflower, is like… a weird stand in for Anonymous?”

There was a beat of silence.

“Huh…” Sunset and Justice uttered.

“I once stabbed a moose with a sharpened toothbrush,” Sonata chirped. She took a bite of cereal, dribbling some onto to her exposed cleavage. “Aih vas carfving mife ithnitals into it!”

The group collectively broke into laughter as a bleeding moose and angry black goat battled an assortment of befuddled police outside the house.