Reform School

by KnightMysterio

Problem Students

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A dark place…
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“Really?” Chrysalis said when they reappeared, visibly unamused. “Discord’s lair from when he was pretending to be Grogar?”

“Actually, this IS Grogar’s lair!” Twilight said, smiling. “Discord just appropriated it for his well-meaning but ill-thought out plan to-”

“Couldn’t care less if I tried!” Chrysalis sang, doing a quick, hip-shuffling dance. Cozy and Tirek chuckled, as did Pinkie and Rainbow Dash.

“Hate to say it, Princess Egghead, but none of us are really here for a history lesson,” Rainbow Dash said.

Twilight grumbled. “Spoil my fun, why don’t you?” she muttered. “OKAY! We’re here to collect three more students. One of them was briefly a part of your group, another one you’ve only seen someone disguised as.”

Tirek shifted uneasily. “Sombra and Grogar,” he said. “The ACTUAL Grogar...”

Cozy shivered. “Oh, this is gonna go well...”

Chrysalis stared at Twilight, uneasy. “Who is the third?”

“Discord’s retrieving her,” Twilight said, turning to her friends. “I can handle Sombra’s summoning and recruitment on my own, but I need you to set up the trap for Grogar. He’ll need a restraining bolt spell on him before he’ll cooperate.”

“Do we have to?” Fluttershy said, frowning. “I’ve looked at those, Twilight, and they aren’t pleasant.”

“I wish it wasn’t,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “But Grogar merits it. We can’t trust him without it until he willingly accepts Harmony.”

“What about Discord’s?” Applejack asked. “If’n Grogar needs it...”

Twilight grimaced. “There’s nothing in the world that can restrain a draconequus other than a stone paralysis spell,” she said. “And that’s not what we want.”

“Wait, ANOTHER DRACONEQUUS?!” Chrysalis said, horrified.

“The third we’ve found,” Twilight explained. “And this one’s gonna be a LOT harder to deal with...”

“THIRD!?” Cozy Glow shrieked in fright, Tirek looking similarly dismayed.

Chrysalis’s ears drooped. “This… This is insanity! You’re bringing MORE draconequui into the world?! And you believe you’ve actually reformed it?”

“Her, actually,” Twilight clarified. “The one we’ve reformed is named Eris and-”

“I don’t CARE what gender it is! Draconequui are DANGEROUS!!” Tirek snarled. “Why do you think I chose to make Discord an ally before I stole his power!? If he had suspected ANYTHING before I was strong enough to grapple him, he could have turned my molecules inside out!”

“Wait, he can do that?!” Cozy Glow shrieked. “I knew he was powerful but I thought he was just a clown!”

“You have NO IDEA what Discord is capable of! I was a grub when he was rampaging about, and I had the misfortune of seeing him ANGRY!” Chrysalis said. “In fact, seeing him like that is what inspired my mother to make a throne of Nullthricite, and-”

“Would you kindly calm down?” Fluttershy asked, smiling.

All three felt their heart rates calming and their breath slowing. Chrysalis frowned. “You understand why we’re concerned, though,” she said.

“Trust in us,” the six mares said as one, moving to their stations. Twilight’s horn flared and she began to draw a circle in the ground, while Rarity let the remaining Bearers up to the crystal ball Discord had used when he was pretending to be Grogar.

“Anycreature else think that’s really creepy?” Cozy Glow whispered. “When they talk in unison like that, I mean.”

“Something is very wrong,” Chrysalis whispered. “Their emotions taste… off...”

“What should we do?” Cozy Glow asked. “I don’t wanna be reformed, but if what they said is true...”

“It’s possible this could all be a trick,” Tirek whispered. “While losing the Sirens is… disturbing, the ponies do have a track of corrupting the wicked into becoming their friends.” Tirek’s face briefly became sad. “Like my brother...”

Chrysalis took a quick sip of the lingering love Tirek projected, not enough for him to notice. “For now, we cooperate. We can’t do anything because we don’t know anything. We play along until we know more, and then we strike. Possibly with the help of the rest of our ‘class.’”

“Do you think we can get them to cooperate? Sombra didn’t really seem like a team player last time, and… well, now that I think of it, none of us really like each other. Which is kinda sad, because I legit wanted to have you two as my evil friends...” Cozy Glow said.

Tirek rubbed the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “You wanted us as your minions at best while you reigned over all.”

“Right! Friends!” Cozy Glow said with complete sincerity.

“You disturb me,” Chrysalis muttered.

A swirl of necromantic energy caught their attention. From the rune Twilight drew on the ground, the shadows coalesced, forming into the dreaded King Sombra once more. His glowing green eyes burned with purple fire, and his curved, blood red horn glistened in the low light of the cavern. His cape billowed in the winds of his summoning, revealing his Cutie Mark, a collection black crystals. He tossed his head, looking around as he realized he was alive again. He cringed when he saw Twilight Sparkle standing there.

“You,” he growled. “My murderer. Caretaker of that damnable dragon that ruined my first attempt at a return.”

“A pleasure to see you again, your Majesty,” Twilight Sparkle said, smiling. King Sombra’s horn flared, the shadowy unicorn’s teeth grinding in anger as he readied his strongest spell. Before he could do anything, though, Twilight said, “Would you kindly calm down?”

Sombra fumed, but relaxed, his horn going dark again. “Not worth the effort of murdering you anyway...” he muttered. “Why have I been brought back to life again?”

“Well,” Twilight said. “As much as I hate to invoke a little tyranny of my own, I assure you that its for your own benefit. You’ve been selected for mandatory reformation, alongside your former associates.” She gestured to the other villains. Sombra looked them over disdainfully.

“Hmph,” he muttered. “I suppose then that Grogar’s scheme failed.”

“It wasn’t Grogar,” Chrysalis said. “It was Discord. We were all his pawns in some inane scheme to help Twilight Sparkle gain some confidence as a ruler.”

“Mmm, pretty close,” Twilight admitted. “It almost went VERY badly, and like most of what he does, wasn’t thought out very well, but it did work in the end!” She smiled brightly.

Sombra sneered. “Damnable draconequus...” he muttered. “The lot of them should have been made extinct ages ago...” He turned his glare to Twilight again. “And ‘mandatory reformation?’ I’d rather be dead, still.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, that’s unacceptable. We’re so close to Harmony now. And with you four and the others we’re summoning being the last forces of evil in the world, we’re not taking the chance of letting you come back and causing harm,” she said. “Harmony must rule in this world. So we’re bringing Harmony into your hearts.”

Sombra frowned, looking Twilight over. “...Are you all right?” he asked. “Something about you is… off...”

Chrysalis’s eyes widened. “You can see it too, then?” she asked.

Twilight smiled. “Concern for others! A good start,” she said. “But I assure you, everything is fine. Now. Would you kindly go and join your fellow students and wait for us to finish? I need to help with summoning Grogar.”

Sombra did as he was asked, but gagged. “You’re summoning the ACTUAL old goat? Good luck getting him to cooperate,” he said, chuckling.

Twilight smiled. “Why not? We got you to cooperate,” she said.

“Only because it seems like an amusing diversion,” Sombra said, joining the others and sneering at them. “Well. It seems like we’re joining forces after all.”

“So it seems,” Tirek said, folding his arms and glaring at the shadowy king.

Chrysalis came up to Sombra, looking concerned. “You sensed it too. Something was off about them. Could you tell?” she demanded.

Sombra shook his head, scowling. “No. I could not. It just felt… wrong,” he said, pushing her back. “And do not stand too close to me. You stink of insect.”

Chrysalis growled. “You miserable...”

“Would you kindly shut up?” Applejack said, eyes closed as she and the others tried to focus. “We’re summoning one of the deadliest creatures alive and we need some quiet.” Their bodies glowed as rainbow magic swirled around them, lighting up all the runes they had drawn. Sombra and Chrysalis glared at each other, but said nothing, the four villains watching the show as the portal began to ignite.

And almost immediately, all four villains felt fear as dark, oily mist began to ooze out of the portal. The summoning portal was surrounded with darkness as the six mares stared impassively at the figure emerging. The horned, blue-furred form looked similar to the shape Discord took, save that he was slightly larger, and had black eyes with red pupils. Those hate-filled eyes glared at the figures surrounding him as he considered them.

“Ponies,” he said finally. “A centaur. One of the shadowfolk pretending to be a unicorn. And the deposed changeling queen.”

Chrysalis blinked. “How did you know that I was-” she growled, cutting herself off.

“The machinations of the living are not unknown to me,” Grogar growled in a voice that resonated deep within the souls of the four villains present. “I saw that fool of a draconequus pretend to be me, intending to use you lot as sacrificial pawns to favor his friend, the ridiculous purple princess standing before me.” He nodded to Twilight, the only acknowledgment he gave the alicorn. The ponies just stared back, unafraid. “I would applaud his audacity, but since his scheming was uncovered, I can only dismiss him as a fool.”

“Technically, his plan to give me the confidence to rule did succeed. Just in a very roundabout way,” Twilight said.

“Close only counts in poison gas and explosions,” Grogar said. And then he did something horrible. He smiled. The twisted, wicked cruelty in that smile made everyone that wasn’t him step back. “I know the truth about you, Twilight Sparkle. The truth about you and your friends that even you don’t know.”

“...And what truth would that be?” Twilight said, giving him a wary look. The gathered villains all traded worried looks, wondering what he could mean.

Grogar chuckled, still smiling that horrible, demonic smile. “No no, my dear,” he said. “That would give away the game too early. In fact, I think I’ll place a seal on myself that prevents me from saying the truth even under duress.” His horns glowed with shadowy energy for a moment, the energy writing a rune on his forehead and vanishing. “There… Now go ahead with your restraints, my little shinies. I shall play along with your game. And then we shall see whether or not whatever it is your planning will actually succeed.”

“You do realize we’re doing this as much for your benefit as for ours,” Applejack said, frowning.

“So you say,” Grogar said, not even turning to look at the farmer. “So you truly believe. I wonder what face you’ll make when you realize how badly you’re lying to yourself?”

Twilight and her friends traded scowls, and concentrated. A rainbow swirled around them, wrapping around Grogar’s neck and forming a collar with a bell. “There,” Twilight said. “Now any time you try to hurt someone in any way, or try to tamper with the collar, the bell will ring and send a pulse of pain through your body.”

“Delightful,” Grogar said. “One of my own spells used against me.” He smirked at Twilight. “You are a most studious young woman indeed.”

Fluttershy frowned. “Is that what we did to him?” she asked.

“I’m sorry,” Twilight said, nuzzling the pegasus. “But its the only way I could think of to hold him. Everything else he could just break through.”

Fluttershy’s ears drooped. “You know how I feel about hurting others, Twilight,” she said.

“I know,” Twilight said. “But for Harmony’s sake, we need measures this extreme to keep him in line.”

The sky turned flannel-colored, Rarity making an irritated face at it. “Oh dear. It seems Discord found her…”

“What’s going on?” Sombra asked.

“The last student in our class is being recruited,” Tirek said warily, Cozy cowering behind one of his hooves as the clouds turned lavender and started singing showtunes, before turning on one another and shooting lightning, at each other, blood raining down while they still sang their merry tunes.

The sky burst open, and Discord burst through, dueling with a laughing madwoman of a draconequus. She had a manticore’s poison-tipped tail, a long, reddish purple-furred body with hooved back legs, and blue clawed hands. Her muzzle was fang-filled but vaguely pony-like, and she possessed a pair of horns on her cat-eyed head, a greenish cobra’s hood on her back, ending in a scaled mass which her batlike wings were also attached to. The two seemed to be fencing with popsicles, although the female’s was on fire for some reason.

“Really, Cosmos, setting it on fire?” Discord chided, grunting with exertion. “That defeats the purpose of it being a sweet treat!”

“Its jalapeno-flavored!” the female draconequus countered, laughing wildly. “Extra spicy!” She drew back and slashed with her popsicle, a strike that surely would have been a beheading blow if it had connected. As it stood, Discord teleported out of the way, reappearing behind her with an atempt to stab her with his grape popsicle. Cosmos parried, reality warping as everyone turned human briefly, the ground around them turning into a miniature city that for some reason the gathered former ponies and villains knew was called Tilted Towers. Another parry, and they were all clad in various colorful costumes, standing in the cockpit of an oddly colorful flying mecha. Another parry, and they were all sapient vegetables upon a pirate ship. Another parry, and everypony was changed back to normal.

“I’m ending this,” Grogar growled after confirming he was fully a goat again. His horns glowed with bloody red energy, lashing his head and launching blades of that energy at the two draconequui before Twilight and her friends could stop him. Discord saw it coming, grabbing Cosmos and holding her in front of onrushing attack. The blades hit her head on, Cosmos flailing in agony as she went limp in Discord’s grasp, her weapon disappearing. Discord grunted, throwing her over his shoulder, nearly crashing himself as he landed, the damage to reality undoing itself as he dropped her down and collapsed.

“BE CAREFUL!” Fluttershy shouted, getting in Grogar’s face before rushing to the dazed Discord’s side. Twilight gave the old goat a similar look of frustration.

“If someone didn’t stop them, their battle would have shattered reality,” Grogar snarled. “And that’s something you don’t want, now is it, little thing?”

“No…” Twilight admitted, shaking her head and turning towards Discord and Fluttershy. He and Cosmos were both coming to their senses, Discord clutching his head in pain.

“It’ll be okay,” Fluttershy said, hugging her longtime friend.

“Head… hurts…” Discord said, grimacing. “Everything… feels wrong…”

“I know, I know,” Fluttershy said, producing a bottle out of seemingly nowhere. “Using so much magic at once, it makes your condition flare up… You need to take your medicine…”

Grogar growled at the sight of the bottle. Sombra, Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek felt a great unease come over them at the sight of it. “Wait…” Cozy Glow said.

“Would you kindly relax?” Twilight said, locking eyes with all five villains. “It’s nothing more than something to help Discord focus.”

Grogar scowled, but sat down, looking away, while the other four visibly relaxed, watching as Fluttershy tried to coax Discord into taking the potion. The other five ponies there watched Fluttershy and Discord intently.

“N-No…” Discord said fearfully. “D-don’t want…”

“It’ll be all right…” Fluttershy said gently. “It’s medicine. You trust me, don’t you?”

“I…” Discord looked confused, pain visible in his expression. “I do…”

“Then please… For me…” Fluttershy said, offering the bottle once more. “Take your medicine. It will help you…”

“I…” Discord stammered. “A-All right…” He took the bottle, drinking the glowing liquid within it, and coughed, his breathing slowing, his body shivering briefly, as if cold. After a long moment of silence, he smiled. “Ah. Much better! Forgive me my dear, I don’t know WHAT came over me.”

“You’re better again. That’s what counts,” Fluttershy said, giving him a hug and going to join her pony friends again.

“Rubber baby buggy bumper cars…” Cosmos rambled, shaking her head to clear it. “Ow, that smarts…”

Discord chuckled. “Hello, Cozzy.”

Cosmos looked up at the sound of the voice, scowling. “Oh. Now I remember. You came to me with some nonsense idea about joining a school that is contrary to the very purpose of my existence.”

“Now now,” Discord said. “Don’t be like that. I am the spirit of Chaos! And yet I’ve found purpose in this world.”

Cosmos huffed. “Your forgot part of your title, stud,” she said. “You’re also the spirit of Disharmony.”

“I’ve abandoned that,” Discord said, waving dismissively.

“I’m the spirit of Malice and Madness,” Cosmos growled. “Your little ‘reform school’ would require me to give up on everything that makes me me if I were to graduate from it.”

“That’s not true,” Twilight said, stepping forward. “An analysis of Discord and his sister Eris has shown that-”

Cosmos blinked. “Wait. You got Eris to cooperate with this nonsense? I thought your sister was running that casino for badguys in the Multiverse.”

“She unfortunately had it evacuated before we brought her in,” Discord said, shrugging casually. “We’ll find where her clients went, though. We just have to spread Harmony to this world first.”

“Yes. This world. A world you specifically told me not to come to, because I lost that fight with you to have control over this world’s fate,” Cosmos said.

“...Wait,” Cozy Glow asked. “If you’re so strong, why not just ignore him and come here?”

Cosmos snorted. “Draconequui cannot break their word once they’ve Vowed to fulfill it. The terms of my end of the bet were that if I lost our fight, I would not interfere in Discord’s schemes and machinations for this planet,” she said, sneering as she turned to Discord and added, “And then you got turned into stone for over a thousand years.”

Discord chuckled. “Well, admittedly, there was some weapons grade underestimating going on,” he said. “And don’t gripe about your loss again after so long. It was tiresome then, its tiresome now.”

Cosmos growled, her cobra hood unfolding.

“Oh don’t you hiss at me young lady!” Discord huffed. “Just because you have all the creativity of a drunken bimbo.”

“You’d be surprised at how creative my tortures can be,” Cosmos said.

“And that’s just it – You always go for torture and pain first. I am an arTEEST,” Discord proclaimed. “My madness reshapes worlds! You just break things.”

“I like the sounds living things make as I choke the life out of them,” Cosmos said, smirking at the look of irritation that crossed Discord’s face.

Sombra brightened, stepping forward. “Did you ever try crushing somepony’s neck with your hooves? The little bones make the most delightful crackling sound as you press down.”

Cosmos grinned. “You. I like you,” she said.

“Enough of that,” Twilight said, she and her friends walking up to Cosmos, who flinched. “We brought you here for a reason, Cosmos.” They looked her directly in the eye. “So would you kindly join your fellow students, please?”

Cosmos blinked, and winced, a sudden, intense pain going through her head. The draconequus snarled, clutching her head in sudden pain, starting to curl up on herself. Twilight traded worried looks with her friends, as Cosmos began to actually cry in pain.

“...Cosmos?” Discord asked. “What’s wrong?”

“Head… feels like nails being driven through it…” Cosmos barely managed to say. “Am I crying? Oh this is pathetic…”

Discord looked thoughtful. “...Maybe my medicine will help her too?”

Fluttershy gave Discord a happy look, Pinkie Pie pulling another bottle of it out of her mane and giving it to the draconequus. “I’m proud of you, Discord,” Twilight said, smiling.

“Yes, well, I care about Fluttershy’s opinion, not yours,” Discord said, the other gathered villains snickering as Discord gently coaxed Cosmos into drinking the medicine. She gagged, but managed to swallow it.

“Bleh. Disgusting,” she muttered. But the agonizing headache was thankfully fading, Cosmos uncurling as she glared at Discord. “I’m assuming the rule still stands?”

“You wagered your fate in fair combat. By the Unbreakable Rule, that means I get to decide what happens to you,” Discord said.

“Please say oblivion,” Cosmos almost pleaded. “This entire world reeks of virtue and sanity.”

“Sorry,” Discord said with a smirk. “You’re joining Twilight Sparkle’s little ‘reform school.’ In fact, there are your classmates now.”

Cosmos turned, sauntering over to them. She looked them over. Grogar glared right back at her, unflinching, a scowl on his face. “I like you,” Cosmos decided. She moved on to Sombra, who flipped his hair back and gave her his most imperious look. “...Douchebag,” she decided, moving on.

Sombra sputtered indignantly while Rainbow Dash had to hide her laughter.

The mad draconequus turned her attention to Tirek. The withered centaur folded his arms and tried to look intimidating, fully aware of how he looked and attempting to intimidate her despite that. Cosmos snickered. “Power leech?”

Tirek blinked. “How did you know?” he asked.

Cosmos lazily scratched at the fluff on her neck. “I’ve seen a few creatures in the Chaos Realm that were like that. Because they neglect their own power, once they’re drained of the stolen power they’re left withered like that.”

Tirek stared down at himself. “...Is THAT why I’m like this?” he said softly.

Grogar began cackling, as Sombra gave him an incredulous look. “Wait. You didn’t know that?!” the shadow king asked.

“No! All I knew is that it was a quick way to power!” Tirek said.

Grogar snickered. “No wonder you failed so easily!” he taunted.

“To be fair, we literally had to pull a miracle out of our butts to stop him,” Twilight said. “I… don’t like thinking about that day.”

“Yeah!” Tirek said. “You just capitulated without a fight! I forced them to invent a new power!”

Cozy Glow frowned. “I wonder why they haven’t used it since…” she said, everyone ignoring her.

“And yet, here I am, great and strong,” Grogar teased. “And there you are, looking like my grandfather.”

“That’s a rude thing to say about him,” Sombra snarked. “I’m sure your grandfather was much more handsome.” Both villains cackled viciously, while Tirek fumed.

Cosmos stared at Chrysalis. The deposed Changeling Queen just barely managed to hide her unease, looking right into Cosmos’s golden, predatory eyes. The madness she saw there was disturbing. “...You’re going to be annoying,” Cosmos declared. “You stink of protagonist.”

Chrysalis blinked. “Wait, what?”

“Interesting take on things…” Twilight said, looking curious. “What makes you say that?”

Cosmos shrugged. “She just has the feel of someone who’ll do something dramatic,” she said. “And not in a way that will be fun for me.”

Discord gave Twilight a scathing look. “Don’t I know the feeling…” he muttered.

“Nevertheless, Cosmos,” Twilight said, “Chrysalis will be your fellow student. And as students of the reform school, you’ll have to-”

Cosmos snapped her fingers. Twilight’s friends jumped back at her in alarm, while Discord had to hide a smirk. Twilight just sighed. “Cosmos, was setting me on fire necessary?” she said, snuffing out the flames on her mane.

“Yes. Because I found it highly entertaining,” Cosmos said. She then turned away from Chrysalis, who was left baffled by the idea that she was a ‘protagonist,’ and looked a terrified Cozy Glow. “Hey, someone left their chewing gum here. You mind if I have it?”

“Wait, WHAT?!” Cozy Glow shouted, Cosmos reaching down and picking the little filly up, tossing her into her mouth and chewing on her.

Grogar and Discord both watched with amusement, Chrysalis and Tirek with alarm, and Sombra with disinterest as Cosmos gnawed on the filly. The Element Bearers all glared at Cosmos.

“Would you kindly spit her out?” Twilight asked. “It’s impolite to chew on someone.”

Cosmos shrugged, and did as they asked, roughly spitting a drool and toothmark-covered Cozy Glow out on the ground. The filly, growling viciously, picked herself back up and looked right into Cosmos’s eyes.

“I have known you for FIVE MINUTES, and already I have decided that my life’s work will be to END YOU,” Cozy Glow declared.

Cosmos smiled. “Try,” she said simply.

Twilight rubbed her forehead irritably. “Well, at least we got them all here and cooperating, right?” Pinkie Pie said. “So… yay?”

“Five bits say they try to burn something down by the end of the week,” Rainbow Dash said, smirking.

“I’ll take that bet,” Applejack said, amused.

“Can I get in on that?” Sombra asked, sneering at the still outraged Cozy Glow.

“NO,” the Elements shouted. Twilight sighed, shaking her head. “C’mon, everyone. Let’s go back and get you settled in at the school. We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

Reluctantly, trading glares and uneasy glances, the villains began to follow the Elements and Discord back to Ponyville. Cosmos was the only one who seemed to be at ease, snapping her fingers and putting herself in a stereotypical animane schoolfilly outfit, complete with a piece of toast in her mouth.

“It’ll be great going to class with you all, senpais!” Cosmos declared, Grogar chuckling at the antics of the draconequus. “I hope we get to meet some cute boys!”

Chrysalis just shook her head. For some reason, as she looked at the Elements all walking in near unison together, she just couldn’t escape the feeling that she and her fellow villains were in tremendous danger.

But she couldn’t understand why. After all, there was nothing to worry about.

Twilight had told her so.