"Do you want to see a new generation of heroes rise and defeat new evils?" The voice said from the television.
"Yes!" The Rainbooms collectively shouted with excitement. The Rainbooms sat on a couch in the commons room of Canterlot High, eagerly watching the television to see the trailer for the upcoming Crimson Chin TV show.
"Do you want to see the Crimson Chin pass the torch to Cleft the Boy Chin Wonder?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to see new Crimson Chin adventures that contain the most popular elements of the old stories while still retaining a degree of originality?"
"Yes!"
"WELL TOO BAD!"
The Rainbooms looked at the TV with dismay. "What?" Rarity asked uneasily.
"Do you want to see Cleft become a mentor to a new young hero while struggling with his flaws, with Crimson Chin popping up from time to time to offer the now-adult Cleft advice as a gift to the fanbase?"
"Uh...yeah?" Fluttershy asked timidly.
"Sorry," the TV announcer said insincerely, "cause instead, we're gonna give you a Crimson Chin show that doesn't feature Crimson Chin?"
"Not even a small, well-received cameo that would reward fans for their dedication?" Rainbow asked.
"Not a chance," the TV mocked. "Also, Cleft will appear in only one episode..."
"You've got to be kidding me?" Rainbow said unhappily.
"Nope," The television boomed, "in fact, we are renaming him Cliff, and we're making him into an Eskimo while only letting him say a few words, pandering to racial diversity without any effort, ironically objectifying stigmatized groups while only offering the illusion of inclusivity."
"Then who is the show going to be about?" Applejack asked with a mixture of anger and confusion.
"We're making it about Cleft, I'm sorry, Cliff's cousin Zoe!" The announcer boomed.
"Will she be a well-rounded female character with flaws she must overcome to defeat her enemies?" Rarity asked with fading hope.
"Of course not!" The TV announcer said with excessive glee. "We're going to make her perfect in every single way while claiming her life is hard and miserable, cheapening female empowerment and ironically dehumanizing the women we claim to be representing by holding them to a ridiculously high standard."
"You guys can't defeat me!" The Zoe character proclaims to a group of bad guys.
"Why is that?" One of the bad guys asked.
"Because I'm a girl!" The Zoe character chirped. "That makes me better than guys. Because that's what gender equality means nowadays."
"OK," the bad guy character said with resignation. "We'll have to give up and go home."
Rainbow watched the screen. "Can this possibly get worse?"
"It can!" The TV narrator said with enthusiasm. "Because instead of a cool action show that explores societal problems, we're gonna make this into a kid com set in high school, with first-world problem stories that are barely disguised product placement!"
"Oh no!" The Zoe character said, tears running down her eyes. "I lost my Crimson Chin stockings, which retailed for 9.99 at Barnyard Bargains. Even though there are people with no food and water, it is my life is ruined forever!"
"Don't worry!" A father character said. "We'll get you a new pair! Now for only $8.95!"
"Thank you, Daddy. You're a lifesaver!" The Zoe character said. "I would've died...from a lack of bargains. But that's not a problem at Barnyard Bargains!"
"No, no...," Pinkie Pie said with horror in her voice.
"Oh yes!" The announcer. "Instead of featuring mature humor balanced with a touch of humanity and empathy, we're gonna make every character an obnoxious jerk in a failed attempt at being edgy with shoehorned political opinions that are inappropriate in a kids' show."
"Despite having tons of friends and everything I want, my life is completely terrible, and I'm stuck with losers like you!" The Zoe character whined to a male friend. "And it's all the fault of the patriarchy, which you are a member! I hate you! Your dumb!"
"No, you can't do this!" Rainbow said with a pleading expression.
"We will. Also, instead of well-rounded side characters with plots and story arcs that can provide a source of character development for the protagonist, they'll be emotionless drones who exist to do nothing but say how perfect Zoe is no matter how horribly she behaves!"
"Zoe is, like, the best and most moral character ever!" A female character who was Zoe's friend exposited.
"You are all sheep who pander to the patriarchy and don't recycle!" Zoe said before punching the friend in the face.
"And she has good aim as well!" The friend said, smiling while rubbing her black eye.
"Why would anyone want to watch this?!" Applejack asked with disbelief.
"Decades of corporate brainwashing, ensuring will bring in customers no matter how terrible our products are!" The announcer taunted. "We're also giving Zoe a kid sidekick named Roy."
"Will he be a nuanced character who gives the female protagonist a meaningful sisterly bond?" Fluttershy pondered.
"HAHAHA! Not at all!" The announcer mocked. "We're making him into an obnoxious pest who does nothing but talk in buzzwords and catchphrases no matter how nonsensical it is!"
"So Roy, what is your favorite book!" An adult character asked him.
"It's Amazeballs! Let's Go!" Roy yelled, jumping up and down like a kid on a sugar high.
Fluttershy let out a horrified squeak.
"Instead of coming up with intelligent jokes with self-referential humor, we'll tell horrible quips that will make you want to pull out your ears without a laughter track!"
"Oh no!" A mother character said. "My baby has been kidnapped!"
"Well, we better start collecting that life insurance!" The Roy character snarked with an obnoxious smile on his face. "Because that's what you say to a grieving mother whose child is missing."
"Ah, my ears!" Fluttershy said, trying to yank her ears out of her head, before a laughter track echoed, with soothed Fluttershy's rage.
"Coming this summer is the sequel to the prequel to the third reboot of the Crimson Chin TV Show..."
"Crimson Chin 2: Crimsoner Chiner: The Destruction of Canon!"
"SHUT IT OFF!" Shrieked Rarity.
Applejack immediately took out her lasso, swung it onto the TV, and yanked it out of the commons rooms through a window. "Phew!" Applejack sighed with incredible relief, no longer having to watch that abomination. But that wasn't enough for Rainbow, who collapsed into tears over the mangling of one of her childhood shows.
Fluttershy held Rainbow while she cried profusely. "Don't worry, Rainbow, Crimsoner Chiner doesn't exist. It can't hurt you."
"Why are you trying to lie like that?" Applejack whispered to Fluttershy.
"Sometimes you have to lie to children to protect them!" Fluttershy whispered back, patting her athlete friend on the head lovingly.
"The Crimson Chin," Rainbow cried, "ruined...forever! This is the...WORST...POSSIBLE...THING!"
"Oh, Rainbow! There's no reason to be so dramatic, darling!" Rarity assured her friend before making a horrible realization. "Oh no, I wore my purple scarf with an aquamarine skirt. This...this is the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!"
"Yeah, sure," Sunset said distractedly, looking down at her notebook and doodling something.
"Sunset, are you OK?" Applejack asked her magical friend. Throughout the trailer, Sunset was the only Rainboom who doesn't say a single word, a dejected expression on her face.
"Yeah, sure," Sunset repeated in the same tone.
"Sunny-Wunny," Pinkie Pie chirped, "why are you so down-," Pinkie gasped. "I know, you miss Timmy-Wimmy, don't you?"
Sunset glared at the pink-haired girl defensively. "That's-that's not true."
The Rainbooms all looked at their unicorn friend with an unimpressed expression. "Darling," Rarity uttered with amusement and pity, "it's clear you have a deep care for young Timothy."
Sunset's expression became even more cagey, "That's not-"
"Remember the nightmare you had two days ago during our sleepover about Timmy never talking to you?" Rainbow asked with a smirk on her face.
Rainbow was doing her usual late-night exercises in her weight room when she heard a loud yell.
"AAAAAAHHHHHH!"
Rainbow entered her bedroom and found a shaking, sweating, and hyperventilating Sunset. "Sunset, buddy," Rainbow asked her unicorn friend with a saddened, concerned, and horrified look. "Was that you screaming in terror?"
Sunset trembled for a few moments. "Yeah," she said sadly after a few moments.
"Alright, just checking," Rainbow said abruptly with a smirk before leaving the room. "Night."
Sunset sighed, annoyed, before bundling herself in her sleeping bag and returning to sleep.
Sunset's expression became more uncertain, her gaze falling back to her notebook. "Well-"
"And then there's the song you sang at band practice." Pinkie Pie intoned.
"Oh Timmy, Timmy, Timmy," Sunset sang sadly while strumming her guitar "I miss you, said your best friend Shimmy." The Rainbooms watched this with no small amount of concern on their faces.
Sunset's expression became even more nervous. "I was just-"
"You're even doodling about Timmy right now!" Pinkie Pie chirped.
"What are you-" Sunset began, only to realize she had begun absent-mindedly doodling a picture of herself and Timmy hugging. Underneath the picture was a caption, "TIMMY AND SUNNY 4 EVER!"
"OK," Sunset said miserably, "I miss him...a little."
"Darling," Rarity said with sympathy, "it is obvious to us that you've grown close to young Timothy when we've known him. Your care for him is nothing to be ashamed of."
"Yeah," Rainbow snarked. "We can tell you miss your boyfriend so much!" Instead of laughing, her friends all began glaring at her. "What, what did I say?"
"Rainbow, what's wrong with you?" Pinkie Pie asked the sports lover with sheer disgust in her voice.
"What-"
"Do you want people to think I want to date a ten-year-old?!" Sunset asked with fury, her melancholy broken by her disgust with Rainbow's joke.
"How could you be so coarse?" Rarity asked, the pitch in her voice showing her horror at Rainbow's joke.
"But-"
"My granny would wash mah mouth out with soap if she heard that!" Applejack yelled, her expression making it seem like she also wanted to wash Rainbow's mouth.
"Go to your room right now, young lady!" Fluttershy ordered with an unusually severe tone.
Rainbow looked at the animal lover with annoyance and confusion. "Um, we're not in my house-" Rainbow paused and yelped as the pink-haired animal shelter employee yanked her by the ear. "OK, OK, I'm going!" Rainbow yelled as Fluttershy pulled Rainbow out of the cafeteria by her ear.
"Ignore Rainbow, darling," the purple-haired girl said with a roll of her eyes. "Your feelings for young Timothy are perfectly normal. You've grown a genuine bond with him, and it pains you that he wishes to be apart. I'm sure he'll come around eventually." Rarity held up a pink collared shirt. "And when he does, you can give him this beautiful new shirt I made," the fashionista gushed.
Sunset's expression twisted into a mixture of frustration and confusion. "I mean, I don't feel this way when I am away from you guys for a week."
"Sugarcube," Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. "We're your friends. But havin' kin of your own...well, that's a different creature. Having friends is nice, but when you look after someone as much as my Little Bloom, you'll always worry about them."
"I mean, I love all my sisters so much!" Pinkie Pie gushed. "I'd hate to be away from them for more than five seconds." Pinkie Pie looked at her watch, which now read "five seconds." "Oh no! Now I'll never see my sisters again," Pinkie whimpered before crying a river of tears, which only ended when Maud came up to the table. "Oh wait, I see her. Bad feelings are gone." Maud then walked away from the table. "And now she's gone again!" Pinkie whimpered before once again crying.
A sad expression appeared on the former unicorn's face. "Well...I've never felt that way before about, well, anyone."
The words made the Rainbooms look at their newest member with concern. "Darling," Rarity asked sadly, "you've never felt that way? What about your relatives? Surely you were close to them?"
An even more morose expression appeared on the fire-haired girl's face. "Well...the truth is-"
"RUN!"
"PANIC!"
"THE END TIMES HAVE COME!"
The Rainboom saw the students running throughout the school in panic and terror, with many screaming in fright. The sheer amount of fear ended the discussion of Sunset's private life. The Rainbooms jumped up from their table and saw Flash running toward them like he'd seen a ghost. "Is it another magic thing?" Sunset asked her ex-boyfriend with a stern expression.
"Oh boy!" Rainbow said excitedly, pumping her fist into the air, excited for more action. Her friends gave her an annoyed side-eye. "I mean...oh boy."
"No!" Flash yelled in a terrified panic.
"Mad dog?" Fluttershy offered.
"No!"
"Girls scouts?" Rainbow asked.
"No! NO! It is a thousand billion times worse than those things combined!"
Applejack immediately looked concerned. "What could be worse-" Rainbow tapped on her shoulder and pointed toward the door. What she saw made the farmer girl's blood turn cold.
It was Limestone Pie. Doing something she had never done before.
She was smiling. No, it was much worse. She was laughing. Not just any other laughter. It was rib-bruising laughter. The sight filled Flash with so much terror he sprinted out of the room so fast he left his jacket behind. "MOMMY!" He shrieked.
The Rainbooms stayed but could barely maintain their composure as Lime strode toward them, looking happy as a clam."Did you eat puppies, Limey?" Pinkie asked with fear and suspicion, her friends joining her in a protective hug at the sheer madness of the sight.
"Hey, Limey!" Gilda greeted casually as she strode up to the rock farmer, giving a quick kiss on the cheek. "What's so funny?" Lime pulled out her phone, snickering, and handed it over to the Gilda. The white-haired girl began cracking up, much to the growing suspicion of the Rainbooms. "You dweebs have got to see this!" The martial artist gushed. Sunset took the phone, more out of suspicion than any laughter. It was usually a sign of terror and pain when Gilda and Lime laughed.
Sunset saw it was a live news report from Dimmsdale covered by Chet Ubetcha.
"Hello, I'm Chet Ubectha," the diminutive reporter said while hanging from the edge of a news chopper. "On the Channel 7 Live App. Prolonging network news' inevitable demise for a few short, miserable years." The man said sadly before his trademark smile reappeared on his face. "Earlier this morning, at the top of Dimmsdale Spire, a young man fell victim to the world's highest wedgie." The chopper reached the summit, where they found a kid hanging from the pointy tip of the 500-foot structure.
Sunset's eyes narrowed when she saw who it was. "That's Francis!"
The grey-skinned child was hanging from the spire by his underwear, screaming his head off and begging to be let down.
"I'm being lowered in for ann interview with the unfortunate young man." Chet hung from the lowered helicopter until he was close enough to wave a microphone in Francis' face. "So, Mr. Francis, do you have any thoughts?"
"Oh, I don't know!" The grey-skinned bully said, rolling his eyes and his voice replete with angry sarcasm, "How about...GET ME DOWN?!" The 12-year-old shrieked at the reporter.
The short broadcaster let out an amused chuckle before returning to the camera, unconcerned with Francis' plight. "Tune in for the daring rescue mission at noon." Francis let out a sigh of relief. "Next Wednesday." Francis started panicking again. "Here's a word from our sponsor: Dimmadome Brand Blubber Nuggets. Mmm, they're chewy!"
"Wait! No!" Francis screamed before the camera was cut off.
"Wait, you know that loser?" Gilda asked Sunset as her laughter died down.
"Yeah, he's Timmy's bully," Sunset said with no small amount of disdain.
"Wait, Timmy has another jerk in his life!" Rainbow said with some exasperation.
"I'm not surprised!" Applejack said with a tired expression. "That boy attracts trouble the way a light attracts a moth."
"Well, it appears Beaver Boy is fighting against the creeps in his life." Limestone said with no small amount of appreciation in her voice. "He's being his fancy rock to good use." Sunset and the other Rainbooms' eyes widened in concern when they heard that. The first bell rang, and Pinkie's oldest sister started to leave.
"He's finally learning how to deal with the dweebs in his life," Gilda said admiringly, "Maybe he's ready to get back in the gym where he belongs, and he'll stop his pouting already." The military girl said, eager to start training with her young protege again.
The hackles of the Rainbooms rose at Gilda's dismissive tone. "Pouting?" Rainbow asked with disgust. Gilda's insensitivity was one of the reasons why Rainbow tended to keep Gilda at arm's length. "Did you remember what the D-those three psychopaths put him through?!"
"The poor dear's also afraid we'll take advantage of him." Rarity chimed in with a sad expression.
Gilda snorted. "Oh please, I would never use the kid for wishes-" Just as Gilda said, a rolled-up piece of paper fell out of her backpack.
"What's that?" Rainbow asked sternly.
Gilda immediately got defensive and nervous. "Nothing?" Rainbow's suspicion grew, and she immediately lunged for the paper. "I said it was nothing!" Gilda said, diving for the paper, but Rainbow got to it first. While Gilda was stronger than Rainbow, Rainbow was faster.
"Let's see." Rainbow opened up the paper and began reading it aloud. "Gym equipment. Hiking boots. A new punching bag."
"It's not a list of things I want Beaver Boy to wish for me," Gilda said defensively.
"Then why does it say "List of Things I Want Beaver Boy to Wish for Me?" Rainbow asked with disdain. The other Rainbooms, especially Sunset, glared at the white-haired nuisance.
"Uh," The martial arts specialist stammered. "It's a Christmas wish list...of things I want him to buy me...legally from... the Internet."
Sunset crossed her arms, not buying Gilda's excuse. "Christmas is seven months away."
"You know me, I love getting an early start on my work."
"Gilda Silverwing Griffin! Your homework is overdue!" Gilda turned around and let out a horrified gasp. I saw a short but menacing old lady coming toward her.
"Oh no! My kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Stevenson!" Gilda stammered, cold sweat running down her forehead. "Hey, Mrs.-"
"Your fingerprint assignment hasn't been submitted! It's been twelve years!" Mrs. Stevenson.
"I'll have it in tomorrow-"
"That excuse may have worked the 9,563rd time, but not the 9,564th time." The old lady narrowed her eyes. "You leave me no choice," she said ominously.
"No," Gilda begged in terror.
"I will...send a note home to you!" Mrs. Stevenson said, holding up the menacing piece of paper. "You will become a productive citizen who contributes to society."
"NEVER!" Gilda proclaimed defiantly before leaping out of a window.
"They always run," Mrs. Stevenson mocked before tearing off her professional attire, revealing a ninja uniform underneath. Holding a pair of nunchucks, she dived out of a window.
With the white-haired menace gone, the Rainbooms returned to the subject at hand.
"This is terrible," Rarity remarked.
"I know!" Rainbow exclaimed. "These monsters have ruined the Crimson-"
"Rainbow, I'm talking about what Timothy did to the rapscallion." Rarity admonished with a severe expression. "Shouldn't we be worried? Timmy seems to be acting out again."
Rainbow rolled her eyes in annoyance. "If that jerk is messing with Timmy, he had it coming." The athlete scoffed at Rarity's concern. "I hate to say it, but Gilda's right: not every creep is some loser who needs a friend. Some are just idiots who need a punch in the face." The harsh tone in Rainbow's voice showed the Dazzlings, and their horrible treatment of the boy hardened her quite a bit.
"But dangling someone by their undergarments from such a high altitude...seems harsh," Rarity intoned. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie didn't say a word, but their expressions made it clear that they felt Timmy's retaliation against Francis was too far.
"He's alive, ain't he?" Applejack said, unsympathetic toward the plight of the grey-skinned thug.
"Weren't you afraid of Timmy using his magic?" Fluttershy asked her farmer friend.
"I was concerned about him causin' mayhem," the blonde girl replied. "If he's defending himself from some varmint, I don't have no problem with that."
The Rainbooms all looked to Sunset, wondering what she thought of this. As someone from a magical dimension, her human friends decided she had the final say on everything regarding magic, even though the magic in question was not Equestrian but fairy.
"Cosmo and Wanda care about Timmy a lot," Sunset said. "Sure they did...turn me into a worm, but only because they thought I was a threat to him. While they have to grant Timmy's wishes, they can rein Timmy in when he goes too far because they do want what's best. So if they wanted to do this to Francis, then I don't have a problem." Sunset said, her eyes cold with contempt for that oversized idiot. "As long as they don't cause trouble for anyone else, then there's no problem."
"There is a problem: a giant sea monster menaced the Dimmsdale Yacht Club!" Chet Ubetcha said, showing footage of a giant purple squid attacking the club, sending its wealthy patrons running and screaming for the Hills.
"Cool!" Rainbow said, watching the broadcast like it was some excellent monster movie. "I mean, not cool!" Rainbow replied after Fluttershy gave her a side-eye of disappointment.
"We have a live interview with Commander Spitfire from the Dimmsdale Emergency Sea Monster Response Team."
A fire-haired commander stood behind a press podium, her uniform replete with medals and her pose stern and authoritative. "I want it to be known to the world...that we are not a waste of money," she said before leaving the podium and strolling into a nearby solid gold helicopter encrusted with jewels.
"During the massive giant squid attack, however, only one yacht was destroyed." Sunset's hackles were raised when she saw who the owners of the yacht were.
"First, the yacht was, like, there," Chad described in an interview with a spacey expression.
"And then it, like, wasn't," Tad finished. They were too astonished by their yacht's destruction to feel outrage or disgust.
Sunset's face scrunched up in horror, but Rainbow offered her explanation. "Look, this could be just a coincidence. Those two goons transferred out of Timmy's school. I can't think of a reason he would attack them now."
"The destruction of Tad and Chad's yacht was followed, entirely by coincidence, by the publication of the best-selling novel Timmy's Diary."
The Rainbooms' suspicion rose before it became replaced by fear. "Diary?" Sunset asked with concern.
"Revealing such strong revelations about Timmy Turner," Chet said, opening the diary. "Such as his orange allergy, fear of clowns, and that he has two fair-"
"Oh no!" Rainbow said, cold sweat running down her face and the faces of her friends.
"Fairly nice goldfish," Chet Ubetcha exclaimed. The Rainbooms let out a sigh of relief before a thought came to Sunset. "Wait, didn't Tad and Chad transfer schools? How did they get their hands on Timmy's diary."
Remy Buxaplenty watched the interview from television in his family's limo, his face contorted in rage, and Juandissmo sitting in his lap in the form of a ferret. "What's this? Why weren't Turner's godparents exposed!" Remy exclaimed angrily. His plan was relatively simple. Wish for Turner's diary, have those two idiots publish it in their name so he could have deniability, and get that reporter to reveal to the world Turner's godparents.
Juandissimo took on his fairy form, looked at his godchild form sternly, and poofed a copy of Da Rules. "According to Las Reglas, if a godchild tries to expose another godchild's fairies, he forfeits his fairies?" Juandissimo's eyes narrowed even more. "Would you be willing to hurt Timmy just to lose me...again?"
A thoughtful expression appeared on Remy's typically smug face. "No," Remy said with unusual empathy toward his godfather. "No, Juandissimo. It isn't worth losing you again."
A relieved smile appeared on the Hispanic fairie's face. "Gracias, Remy I am glad-"
"I'll have to get Turner a different way!" Remy said, a nasty smirk appearing on his face.
"Hijo, why do you hate Senor Timmy so much?" Juandissmo asked empathetically. "He's just a nice boy who wants to be your friend."
"Nonsense!" The blond-haired kid barked. "It is unfair for Turner to have people who love him more than me!" A crafty smirk appeared on the rich kid's face. "Besides, if Wanda wasn't his godmother, you could start dating again."
Juandissimo had to admit the boy chose his bait well. "Mi corazon burns for mi Amor, Wanda!" Juandissmo poofed up a picture of Wanda and hugged it to his sexy chest. "But my brain tells me not to involve the godchild in the romantic dispute of the godparents," Juandissmo said frankly, thinking his crush didn't give him a right to ruin Timmy's life.
"Very well," Remy said. "We'll find other ways to get at Turner." Juandissimo facepalmed in annoyance. While he loved his godchild, he was sick and tired of being Remy's minion.
The Rainbooms watched the news report with no small amount of trepidation. Subjecting his bullies to torment was one thing, but destroying property, even in retaliation, was a bit of a step too far. "Well," Rainbow said uneasily," at least no one died."
"There were several casualties of this disaster," Chet Ubetcha reported solemnly. The Rainbooms all gasped. "Many beloved were lost in the attack." The Rainbooms began hyperventilating. "Six prized vases, seven antique chairs, and dozens of porcelain dishes." The Rainbooms let out a sigh of relief. "But you can replace that without sacrificing your wallet at Barnyard Bargains: The Store of the Common Man!"
"Dude, are you so desperate for cash you need to shill in the middle of the news?!" Tad asked, annoyed that the broadcaster used the destruction of his family's yacht for product placement. Chad himself glared disapprovingly at the short journalist.
"I wasn't advertising!" Chet denied with a nervous smile, then looked nervously to the left toward a limo, where the Barnyard Bargain CEO, Mr. Rich, was standing outside glaring at him ominously. "I was giving an objective report on Barnyard Bargains," he said, beginning to sweat nervously, and his voice became more frantic and high-pitched, "his sponsorship of the studio and ownership of my likeness has not all influenced the objectivity of myself or Channel 7 News!"
With the broadcast over, the Rainbooms looked to themselves in concern. "C'mon guys," Rainbow said somewhat reluctantly, "Timmy was defending himself. Besides, those idiots had it coming for breaking his ankle. Besides, what's the worst Timmy could wish up?"
"THIS JUST IN!" Chet Ubetcha yelled into the microphone. "GIANT PLASTIC DINOSAUR TOY ATTACKING DOWNTOWN TOY STORE AND STEALING TOYS!" The massive monster started tearing apart the toy store and stealing all the toys, with children and parents running away, screaming for their lives.
"The origins of this mysterious monster is yet unknown," Chet Ubetcha began, a mysterious band-aid on his forehead before his expression became more dark and foreboding, "but it is in the opinion of this reporter that such an incident could've only been the creation of an evil, destructive, and monstrous child who deserves a bit time out."
The Rainbooms looked shell-shocked, but before Rainbow could even argue that this was a coincidence, Chet Ubetcha began an interview with a certain "witness." "So, young man?" Chet Ubetcha asked, holding up a microphone to Timmy's face. "What do you think happened?" Sunset noticed Timmy wasn't wearing his pink hat and had a pair of sunglasses on his face. But Sunset could see Timmy's face was full of guilt and nervousness.
"Well, someone couldn't have possibly wished it up," Timmy insincerely argued into the microphone, his posture and demeanor becoming even more nervous and defensive. "After all, magic is definitely not real and certainly didn't cause this disaster!" His defense wasn't helped by the fact that there were two nervous squirrels, one pink and one green, behind him, who were also sweating bullets.
The Rainbooms looked dejected while Sunset facepalmed. "Timmy," Sunset said through gritted teeth, "you are such a horrible liar." After a few moments of hesitation, the Rainbooms decided to make a game plan.
"OK, we'll go talk to him and see what's up," Applejack muttered with a sigh.
"I got Mr. Turner in my contacts and let him know we're coming over," Ranbow said as she pulled out her phone, only for Sunset to yank the phone. "Sunset, what are you-"
"Don't call Mr. Turner," Sunset hissed to Rainbow.
"Why not?" Rainbow asked in confusion as she pulled back her arm.
"Because if Timmy knows we're coming, he might wish we won't," Sunset warned.
The Rainbooms eyes widened, remembering how much power Timmy had at his disposal. "So you want us to spy on him again?" Fluttershy asked with a stern expression. The Rainbooms also looked at Sunset with disappointment, remembering how that revelation damaged his trust in them.
Sunset's expression briefly descended into guilt over having spied on Timmy and violated his trust. But after looking at the ruins of the toy store, her guilty expression became one of stern resolve. "Princess Twilight said that Timmy has a right to be said, but he doesn't have a right to cause destruction." Sunset gave her friends a serious glare. "If he acts out, then he loses the right to privacy. And if Cosmo and Wanda can't rein him in, then it's up to us."
The reluctance of the Rainbooms was replaced with the same resolve, remembering their responsibility as the Elements of Harmony was paramount to their relationship with Timmy. With that, the Rainbooms walked to the music room, their de facto headquarters, and began making plans.
"You just want Timothy to try on the shirt, do you?" Rarity asked in a teasing tone.
"Yes!" Sunset squealed girlishly, holding up the shirt with an excited smile. "Wouldn't it look so adorable on him!"
"Wait," Applejack said before looking at Rainbow with suspicion, "how do y'all have Mr. Turner's contact?"
Rainbow looked nervous and guilty. "Uh, I'm helping Mr. Turner with some...projects."
At the Dimmsdale Annual Cook Out, Mr. Turner and Dinkleberg had reached the finals. "Mr. Dinkleberg has presented us with a gourmet quiche," the judge said approvingly. He then sneered at Mr. Turner's abomination that he called cooking. "While Mr. Turner has presented his sweaty-sock casserole."
The putrid thing made a bird that flew bird collapse to the ground while the audience let out a disgusted grimace.
"We all know who the winner is-," the judge began. He took a deep breath as he prepared to make the announcement.
"Mr. Dinkleberg," a woman on the intercom announced, "your car is being towed away."
"Not my car!" Mr. Dinkleberg sweated, "I just made my monthly payment."
"Well, with Mr. Dinkleberg technically absent," the judge said with annoyance. "Mr. Turner is the winner by default."
"Default!" Mr. Turner cheered. "The two sweetest words in the English language."
Dinkleberg strode to the parking lot and saw two men in jumpsuits preparing to tow his car. If not for the fact that they had brown mustaches, he would've mistaken them for two girls, one with rainbow hair and another with purple hair.
"Sorry, Dinkleberg!" The taller man said with a stern expression. "But...you can't park within two inches of the white line."
"But I'm five-" Dinkleberg protested, only for the tower to cut him off.
"Are you questioning the tow truck man?" The rainbow-haired tower asked menacingly.
"That's punishable by an entire time out!" The smaller man with purple hair chirped.
"A time-out?" Dinkleberg replied fearfully. "That's worse than death." Resigned, the upper-middle-class man pulled out his checkbook. "How much do I owe you."
"Uh.." the taller tower drawled, "a lot of money?" Dinkleberg wrote a lot of money on the check and handed it to the older tower.
"Thanks, but we'll still have to take your car to the lot!" The rainbow-haired man said.
"Understood," Dinkleberg muttered, but a nagging thought came to him before he could walk away. "What's the name of your company."
"Uh," the purple-haired man stammered. "Local...out of town...towing company." He meekly handed over a card written in crayon on an old newspaper.
"Local Out Of Town
"Alright, everything appears to be in order!" Dinkleberg said with an obvious smile before walking away. When he was gone, both men cheered.
"Yeah!" Rainbow said, "We got him!"
"Take that Dinkleberg!" Scootaloo cheered. Another thought came to the young girl. "I thought you hated cheating, Rainbow?!
"Scoots," Rainbow said to her surrogate sister, "you know what they say: it's not cheating if you don't get caught!"
"Makes sense to me!" Scootaloo said, accepting the logic.