“Two hundred and seventy five… two hundred and seventy six...”
Twilight Sparkle had spent the entire day inside of a makeshift prison cell with nothing but her thoughts to accompany her. In a desperate attempt to pass the time, she had resorted to counting every protrusion and crack that lined the grey stone walls that entrapped her. Taking a break from counting, she turned herself around to face the rusted bars of her cell, the once grey metal now consumed by rot and decay. She looked down at her greying, dirt-covered hooves and sighed. Her coat was collecting dust and stary pieces of hair stuck out from her mane. Her stomach also rumbled from a lack of food.
Licking her cracked lips, Twilight stood up and called out to her captor. “Hello? Diesel? Are you there? Hello! Hey!”
A few seconds later, Twilight heard footsteps, accompanied by an old metal door creaking open. Diesel came around the corner, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “What do you want, princess? Did you hurt your tiny hooves again trying to kick through my impenetrable prison?”
“No, I was going to ask for some food,” Twilight replied. “or at least a bit of water.”
“And why would I give you that?”
“It’s been hours.”
“So what? What do you take me for, a babysitter?” Diesel snickered. “You don’t get anything until I have those precious bits in my hand.”
“Jeez, I know you’re trying to be a bad guy or whatever, but you don’t have to be this mean.” Twilight looked away, knowing she wouldn’t get anywhere arguing with him.
“Uh, hello? I’m a villain. I’ll be as mean as I need to be. And you” - Diesel pointed a finger at her - “will cower in fear at my awesome might!”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Yeah right.”
“Oh, come on, admit it. I’m the scariest enemy you’ve ever faced,” Diesel bragged, putting his hands to his hips and puffing out his chest.
Twilight had to stop herself from laughing in his face. If Diesel thought he was even close to the scariest enemy she’d faced, he was sorely mistaken. Just a few months ago, she fought an evil centaur, hell-bent on world domination. Her home had been destroyed and she was nearly killed. Being kidnapped by three incompetent diamond dogs didn’t compare in the slightest.
“You’re definitely not the scariest,” she put simply.
“Really? Huh… that hurts the ego, not gonna lie,” Diesel admitted, his posture deflating. “I guess I need to up my game next time. How do you think I should be a scarier villain?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?”
“Come on, work with me, Princess! I need multiple opinions here!”
Suddenly, the door at the end of the tunnel swung open, and Spot walked through. Diesel turned to him and smiled. “Ah, Spot! You’re just in time! Our prisoner was starting to annoy me with all her whining.”
“I was not whining!”
Spot gave Diesel a stern salute. “The mission was a success, sir! Unfortunately, Rex’s stupidity led him to be captured!”
Twilight’s eyes widened. That was a very strong deviation. Rex’s arrest could mean one of two things, he could give up their location, or stay quiet. It all depended on how loyal to Diesel he truly was. Twilight knew that Luna would be the one heading the interrogation. She’d seen first hoof, how intimidating the Princess of the Night could be. A two-bit crook like Rex would squirm under her gaze and probably look for any way out of imprisonment, even if it meant betraying his employer. There was no honor among thieves, and Twilight doubted her trio of captors were the exception.
Diesel didn’t give much of a reaction to the news, his expression stayed natural. “A shame. Did you at least deliver the ransom note?”
“Yes, sir!” Spot replied.
“Excellent! Then our plan is complete!”
“What about Rex?”
“Oh, he’ll be a necessary sacrifice,” Diesel dismissed, waving a hand.
“That’s kind of cold, boss.”
“I know it is! Princess Twilight here said I’m not scary enough.” Diesel looked over to his captive and grinned madly. “Well, how’s that, Sparkle! Sacrificing one of my own is pretty terrifying, don’t you think?!”
Twilight shook her head. “That’s not scary, you’re just a bad boss.”
“Oh, shut up!” Diesel snapped, crossing his arms and looking away. “Why do I care what you think?”
“What now, boss?” Spot asked.
"We all know Rex is a coward so it won't be long before the authorities find this place. Our only option is to move the princess to a different location."
Twilight’s ears perked up. They were going to move her? If that happened then Luna would never find them! She had to think quickly to stall Diesel’s plan. “You’re really going to leave all you’re equipment behind?”
Diesel looked at her suspiciously, then grunted. “The little pony has a point. Abandoning my precious creations would be a crime. Spot, stand guard while I pack up. If she tries anything, teach her a lesson."
Spot tilted his head to the side. "A math lesson?"
"No, a villainous lesson,” Diesel corrected. “If she tries to escape, show her who's boss.”
He walked out of the room, leaving Twilight alone with Spot. The diamond dog turned to her and puffed out his chest. “Alright, listen here, pony Princess! You will do everything I say, or else I will show you my, uh… my villainous ways! Yes, I am very villainous. And very sinister. So be afraid!”
Twilight didn't know how to respond to that. Her silence made Spot rub the back of his neck awkwardly. “So uh… are you afraid?”
“You’re not very good at this,” Twilight said plainly.
“Don’t say that!” Spot glanced around the room fearfully. “Diesel got rid of Oscar for not being scary enough! Just pretend, okay?”
Twilight gave him a deadpan look. Spot smiled nervously. “Please?”
Diesel came bursting through the room. "I'm all done!"
"That was fast."
Diesel shrugged. "I pack light. Always remember that, Spot, in case your enemies try to hunt you down."
“Great advice!" Spot said. "You’re so intelligent, boss! I wish I could be more like you!”
Diesel put a hand on Spot’s shoulder. “I appreciate the kind words, my faithful stooge.”
Twilight began to pace back and forth. Come on Twilight, think! You need to find a way out of here now! She scanned the room, looking for something that could help her escape.
She needed to come up with a plan fast or else she may never see her home again! Suddenly, an idea popped into her head. It was foolish and risky, but she believed Diesel was deranged enough to fall for it.
With an audible gulp, Twilight straightened her back and spoke with as much confidence as she could muster. “This is the climax of the story!”
Diesel raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve read a lot of books in my life. In many of them, the bad guy’s evil plan falls apart and he attacks the hero in a last-ditch effort to defeat them. That is what is happening now! This is the final showdown!”
At first, Diesel narrowed his eyes, but then they slowly widened and a smile grew on his face. “That’s… that’s genius! I’ve always wanted to have a final showdown!”
Twilight couldn’t help but smile back. Her plan was working! Now for the finishing touch. “If you want a proper battle, remove the magic suppressor on my horn!”
Diesel chuckled. “Don’t presume to think your magic will save you, Princess. Spot, let her out of the cell and remove the suppressor.”
“Sure thing, boss! I hope you win!”
“Of course, I’ll win! I’m a diamond dog conqueror. She’s a little pony. Ponies prance around fields and talk about friendship all day. I sever heads from their shoulders!”
Twilight couldn’t believe his arrogance. If he didn’t realize how powerful an alicorn was then he posed no threat at all. It would be over before he knew it.
Diesel pulled out a pair of keys and threw them at Spot. He caught them with a single hand and walked over to Twilight’s cell. Twilight, however, kept her eyes on the criminal leader, who seemed to be fiddling with something else in his jacket. Right as Spot opened the door, Diesel pulled out a massive sword. Spot jumped back in surprise. “Whoa, boss, did you always have that with you?”
“Of course! I carry my execution blade wherever I go!” Diesel held his weapon in the air. The reflection from the torches shone off its silver blade, like an orange glow. It gave the appearance of a sword on fire.
Twilight smiled sheepishly. “Okaaay… could we hurry this up, please!”
Spot fiddled with the keys to find the correct one that would remove the magic suppressor. When he found it, he inserted it into the lock and turned it clockwise. The ring opened up and dropped to the floor with a metallic clang.
Twilight lit up her horn as a test, and the entire cave was illuminated in a pink-red aura. Spot shielded his eyes. "So it does come from their horns…"
"Nice magic show," Diesel said sarcastically. "Now step out and face me."
The light from Twilight’s horn died out, returning the cave to its darkened state. With a straight face, she trotted out of the cell.
With his sword pointed directly at her, Diesel proclaimed, “No turning back now, Princess. Today is the day you die. Attack!”
Twilight blinked, then fired a beam of magic from her horn. It hit him square in the chest and knocked him several feet back. And just like that, it was over. The self-proclaimed supervillain conqueror lay on his back unconscious, smoke rising from a hole in his coat.
Spot took off running as fast as he could. His terrified voice echoed through the cave as he sprinted. “Ponies are scary! Ponies are scary!”
Twilight turned around and smirked. It felt good to win, especially against three overconfident criminals.
Her moment of victory was interrupted by a sudden explosion. A massive beam of blue magic shot through the wall, incinerating everything in its path. The force of the blast knocked Twilight to the ground, while the powerful energy collided with the opposite wall. It burned through its hard surface with terrifying ease, leaving a giant smoking hole in its wake. Twilight coughed painfully as smoke flooded into the cave.
Princess Luna emerged from the dark cloud, her horn lit up as bright as a star. A group of royal guards marched over the crumbling rocks and flanked her on all sides. With her guards at the ready, Luna surveyed the cave for her targets, but they weren't there. Instead, she found Twilight on the floor coughing loudly. "Twilight Sparkle, what is… what is going on here? Are you alright?"
Twilight slowly rose to her hooves. I'm still alive."
“What happened?"
Mighty Force, who stood to Luna's left, spoke up. “It appears that she saved herself, Princess. Take a look.” He pointed further down the cave, where Diesel lay unconscious with his sword next to him.
Luna dimmed her horn slightly and her posture relaxed. “Well… okay then. Good… work everypony?”
There was an awkward silence that followed, as all the guards glanced at each other in confusion. Even Twilight stayed quiet, unsure of what to say exactly.
Finally, Luna laughed softly to herself. "Well, Celestia is going to be upset she missed out on this one.”
***
Later that night, Twilight found herself staring up at the night sky and the blanket of stars that surrounded Ponyville. Her friends, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack all sat with her on a grassy hill overlooking the small town. A meteor shower was predicted to fly overhead, and Twilight wasn’t going to let a kidnapping get in the way of her plans to see it.
The six ponies sat around a red and white checkered blanket, enjoying an array of sandwiches, fruits, and drinks. Twilight and Fluttershy sat together on one side, while Pinkie and Applejack sat on the other. Rainbow Dash leaned against a tree, casually biting into a red apple, and Rarity sat on her own hoof-sewn blanket, preferring the feel of its soft fabric.
Besides Twilight, who seemed to be the only one with a true appreciation for the stars above, all eyes were transfixed on Pinkie, who firmly grasped onto a flashlight. She made sure to keep it under her chin, forming extra shadows that danced across her face.
“And then he took his mask off to reveal…Horseshoe, the janitor!” she exclaimed, throwing her hooves into the air.
“Who?” Rainbow asked.
“The Janitor!” Pinkie repeated. “You know, the creepy guy they bumped into at the beginning of the story! Good twist, right!”
Rainbow shrugged. “Eh.”
“Fine, you tell a better story!” Pinkie huffed, putting the flashlight down.
Rolling her eyes, Rainbow looked at Twilight. “Hey Twi, when’s the meteor shower gonna start?”
“Should be pretty soon,” Twilight answered, her eyes still glued to the sky. “Maybe five or so minutes from now.”
“You said five minutes, five minutes ago!” Rainbow complained. “Come on guys, we gotta pass the time! So far, Twilight has been the only one to tell a good story tonight.”
“That’s because her story was real,” Applejack retorted.
“I still can’t believe you spent the whole day inside that dark cave,” Fluttershy shuddered. “That must have been really scary.”
Pinkie jumped to her hooves. “Not as scary as Horseshoe the janitor!”
“Yeah right, I bet it wasn’t scary at all!” Rainbow laughed, ignoring Pinkie. “You beat that Diesel guy in two seconds!”
“Yeah well, I’m just happy to be alive,” Twilight said.
“I certainly hope those ruffians don't come back.” Rarity added.
Twilight looked at her and grinned. "Oh, we don't need to worry about them. They've been taken care of."
***
Deep below the city of Canterlot, a lone diamond dog sat in a dark cell, left alone to vent his frustrations in silence. When he grew tired of pacing angrily, he took a seat on the floor and leaned against the wall. With a sigh, he called out into the empty chamber. “Can you guys at least give me a book or something? I’m getting bored here.”
As usual, he received no response. The only sounds he ever heard were a slight breeze coming from an unknown direction and water dripping in a cell further down. Suddenly, the entrance doors opened. Rex stood up as two royal guards dragged a struggling figure through the darkness. Diesel thrashed and squirmed under their grip. "Get your filthy hooves off me, you insufferable cretins!"
When Rex realized which cell they were taking him to, he spoke up. "No guys, don't put him in the cell in front of me, I don't -” The guards shoved Diesel in. “... Great.”
The ponies slammed the cell door shut and locked it. Rex glared at them, but they trotted away without giving him a single glance. Diesel jumped up and grabbed the metal bars. "When I enslave this nation, you two will be the first casualties, do you hear me!"
Diesel then noticed his former henchman in the opposite cell. “Rex…” He took a step back and spoke in a more calm tone. "So it's true. You were arrested."
"Yeah, no thanks to that moron, Spot," Rex replied.
Diesel kept his expression neutral. "I imagine you tried to betray me before being sent down here."
“Of course, I tried to betray you!" Rex shot back. "Your plan was terrible. I should never have helped you with it in the first place."
Diesel’s mouth twitched at the insult, but he kept a straight face. "My plan was perfect and you know it."
"Oh really? That glove you built didn't even work. Your plan failed in literally every way, I hope you're happy."
Diesel took a long, deep breath. "Let's not fight, Rex. I've always thought of you as a son."
"Oh, up yours!"
"What did you say to me?" Diesel stormed back up the bars. "I otta go into that cell and slap some sense into you, young man!"
"We're the same age, you idiot."
"Alright then. How about I go in there and throttle you to death!"
"I'd like to see you try."
"Maybe I will try!"
While the shouting match escalated, the guards marched out of the dungeon. They entered the long corridor and shut the doors behind them, leaving the two criminals to argue long into the night.
End