//------------------------------//
// Celebrities... more than a little eccentric. 
// Story: Headphones 
// by Atom Smash 
//------------------------------//

Babs Seed looked up to greet her next customer, the door chime having announced their arrival. She smiled widely when she recognized the famous pony. Styling the mane of DjP0n3 would be awesome, not to mention good for business if word got out.

“Please take a seat, and I’ll help you as soon as I’m available.” 

The famous DJ didn’t seem to react much to the greeting, though that could probably be blamed on the large pair of headphones covering the mare’s ears. DjP0n3 was never seen without them in public, they were as much of her trademark as the pink sunglasses.

Not wanting to offend the celebrity by asking her to take them off, Babs gestured for the couch and mimed; “I’ll be with you shortly.”

That seemed to do it, the unicorn nodded and took a seat on the waiting coach. Babs breathed out a sigh of relief and returned to finish the work on her current customer. He was some random nobody who’s name Babs had already forgotten, but that didn’t excuse her giving him sloppy service. As excited as she was to get to style the mane of a famous musician, she still owed him a professional job.

Once the guy was happy with the manecut however, and had paid and left she moved excitedly on to her famous new customer.

The DJ in question had spent the time sitting on the couch, listening to her headphones and occasionally nodding along to whatever beat played on them. She did look up however when Babs approached.

“Is it my turn?”

The question nearly took Babs by surprise, she wasn’t sure if she ever had heard the DJ actually speak before, that was another trademark. She banished that notion, realizing that of course the mare had to speak sometime, at least in her private life. The ‘I let my music speak for me’ act was just that, and act. As a stylist Babs knew all too well about making an impression and the dedication that went into it. Which is why she didn’t ask the unicorn to remove her headphones. They had to come off eventually if she was going to be able to cut her mane, but she wouldn’t rush the mare.

“Yes,” she replied, making sure to nod as the mare probably still couldn’t hear her.

The DJ nodded and Babs led her over to one of the styling chairs.

“What can I do for you today?” Babs asked as the mare seated herself, still not taking off her shades or her headphones.

She had to repeat the question three times before P0n3 replied, “Haircut.”

Well, that was that, Babs did her best to keep the smile on her face as she asked, “And what style?”

At first it didn’t seem like the mare would answer, but then she raised a white hoof to her ear and lifted one end of the headphones off it.

“Just make it look cool, and don’t take off my headphones.”

As happy as Babs was to finally be addressed she frowned at the request. How was she going to be able to cut the mare’s mane if she had those big headphones on?

When she asked as much the DJ just shrugged in reply.

“That’s what I’m paying you to figure out, hair lady. Rarity wrote that you were the best, so just fix it, okay.”

Babs sighed, celebrities.

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do,” she replied with forced cheerfulness.


The DJ gave her a look and grunted, “You do that.” She then let the headphones slip back over her ear and leaned back in the chair, seemingly content to ignore Babs.

Sure, the DJ might be as obnoxious as most famous ponies, but she was right, she was the customer and if Babs couldn’t provide the service she asked for, the mare would have to take her business elsewhere, and Babs salong could really do with the celebrity stylist status. It was good for business as a lot of ponies would love to get their mane cut in the same place as somepony famous. 

Having made up her mind she smiled and got to work. She sprayed the hair down with water and started to comb it out to see what she had to work with.

To Bab’s surprise the unicorn removed her glasses and not only made the stylist’s job easier, but also casually resolved one of the most speculated on topics in the celebrity press.

“Huh, so she really does have read eyes,” Babs mused, knowing full well that the celebrity in question couldn’t hear her. She looked forward to telling her friends about that.

The manecut itself progressed smoothly, if you ignored the huge obstacle of a pair of giant headphones she wasn’t allowed to remove. Babs felt she was doing a surprisingly good job under the rather odd circumstances.

Eventually though she ran into the inevitable issue, she had done a perfect cut on most of the mane, but some of it was squashed beneath the headphones and she couldn’t get to them.

There was nothing for it, she’d have to remove them anyway, otherwise the style could not be completed. The customer didn’t seem to be paying attention anyway, seemingly having zoned out.

“Please don’t be mad,” Babs prayed as she gently lifted the headphones off the white pony’s head.

A prayer that seemed to have gone unfilled, for as soon as the headphones left the mare’s ears she leapt out of the chair and spun around to give Babs the most withering glare the stylist had received in her life. Those red eyes were practically ablaze with fury.

“Sorr-.”

Babs' apology was cut off as the mare took a swing at her!

She barely dodged it and backed away, now truly scared of the mare. She tried stammering out more apologies but the other mare didn’t seem to listen. The irate customer made another grab for Babs but she managed to narrowly avoid that as well.


“GIVE ME BACK MY HEADPHONES!”

The unicorn’s demand was a shriek, her formerly boyish tones now a high pitched wail of fury and desperation.


“I will,” Babs promised. “As soon as you calm down!”

The request seemed to have the opposite fact as DjP0n3 rushed her head on.

This time Babs was unable to dodge, and she was tackled to the floor. Before she could collect herself DjP0n3 was on top of her, kicking and punching away, clawing at her hooves to get a grip on the pair of headphones the panicked mare was now clutching to her chest.

Babs was begging now, shielding her face from the furious onslaught. The stylist had already let go of the headphones, but her attacker didn’t seem to have noticed. The DJ was going at her like a mare possessed, frothing at the mouth as she pummeled away at the pony beneath her.

Truly fearing for her life now, Babs started fighting back, and found to her surprise that she was much stronger than her attacker. The unicorn’s punches were feeble and once she grabbed the white hooves she had no trouble keeping them in her grip. She kicked up and nearly succeeded in dislodging the fully grown mare.

This disparity didn’t make sense, but Bab’s sure as tartarus wasn’t going to argue when it could very well be what saved her life. She punched up, stunning the unicorn and with another kick and toss she sent the white pony sprawling to the side where she lay still.

Safe for the moment, and feeling the rush of the adrenaline Babs took a few breaths to collect herself. She could feel the taste of blood in her mouth and her body was sore where it had been hit, she would be okay though, there was no serious injury, just bruises. Once more she thanked her lucky star the crazy mare had been so feeble in her attempts to hurt her. The overreaction too was insane! Babs had only been trying to do her job.

“You bitch, why did you do that?!”, Babs spat. Literally, she had to spit a mouthful of blood to say it, cut lips she assumed. 

There was no response from the prone mare.

“You absolute ass,” Babs repeated, showering more curses at her attacker as she painfully pulled herself to her hooves and took in the scene.

She herself was hurt but standing, the salon didn’t seem to have suffered much, a few overturned chairs, a couple strewn beauty products and some blood on the floor. Those were the only traces of the struggle.

The attacker herself though? Babs noticed the DJ was starting to twitch where she laid.

She didn’t feel sympathy for the mare who had assaulted her, but maybe this wasn’t all out of malice, maybe it was some kind of psychotic breakdown? It happened to celebrities sometimes, or so the magazines proclaimed.

Babs didn’t particularly want to ever get close to DjPon3 again, but she felt it was her duty to at least check on the mare who now appeared to be shaking even more vigorously.

“If you try to hurt me again I’ll kill you,” Babs warned, inching closer to the stricken DJ, a pair of very sharp scissors in one hoof, just in case.


But before she got close the twitching stopped.

With a horrible realization Babs rushed forward. She rolled the stiff body over on its back and realized that she had been right, it was too late. The mare was dead.

The DJ’s red eyes stared up at the ceiling, unmoving.

“You bastard!” Babs aimed a kick for the body, knowing that she couldn’t make it any worse than it already was and needing some form of outlet for the emotions that were threatening to overwhelm her.

What would happen to her now? She’d killed a pony, a famous pony at that. It had clearly been self defence so she might not end up in jail, but that was a meager comfort. There was no way her reputation would survive an incident like this. Her salon, her livlihood, probably her whole career was over, and all for a stupid pair of overpriced headphones!

Her eyes fell on the offending piece of headgear and she felt the fury rise inside her. She wanted to smash them, but knew the police would want to see them as evidence of… whatever breakdown the famous DJ had suffered. A drug overdose probably. No sensible pony tried to kill someone over something so silly, right?

With a feeling of dread Babs picked up the phones and looked at them. They looked like a normal pair of headphones, pretty pricey, but nothing she herself wouldn't be able to afford if she really wanted them.

Feeling this was a really stupid idea but doing it anyway, Babs tried the headphones on for herself.

When she heard what was in them she couldn’t help but laugh out loud despite the macabre situation. Surely this had to be a joke? Nopony could be so dumb as to need that, no really it was beyond riddiculous.

In her ears a calm voice kept repeating the words: “Breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… breathe out… breathe in,” over and over.