//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: The Great and Powerful Trixie // Story: Trixie's Hearth's Warming Carol // by You Shall Not Pass //------------------------------// Chapter Three: The Great and Powerful Trixie “Trixie! Trixie! Wake up, it’s Hearth’s Warming Day today!” two young colts hollered from outside her door. Trixie stirred, wanting to stay asleep and relive a particularly vivid dream, but ultimately her two assistants won out. She groggily got out of bed and met the two colts in the living room. They were rooting hopefully through the stockings they had hung over the fireplace, and predictably, they found nothing. “Aw, looks like Celestia was too busy to give us presents this year, eh?” Snails said. “Don’t be too unhappy,” Trixie assured, levitating the stockings to her with her horn. “If you look very carefully, there are some things in those stockings from Trixie.” She sat on her haunches and rummaged through the floating stockings with her forehooves. “In fact, they’re things Trixie made for you.” “Those are the best kind of presents! What are they, Trixie?” Snips asked excitedly. Trixie withdrew her hooves from the stockings and proudly presented them to her assistants. “They’re hooves. They’re for hitting ponies with.” She bopped Snips and Snails on the nose. “And the best thing about them, is that you can use them again–” She hit them a second time, harder. “–and again, and again.” She delivered two more hits. “Now, what do you say?” “Ow?” Snails rubbed his nose. “I mean, thank you?” “Think nothing of it. After all, Trixie thinks nothing of you.” The two colts looked at each other in confusion. Then their ears perked up at a rapping sound on the window. “Is that Berry Punch?” asked Snips. Trixie walked over to the window, and behind was indeed the perpetually inebriated mare. Trixie swung the window inwards and the plum pony leaned her head through to speak, only for Trixie to slam the window in her face. “No, Snips. You’re simply imagining things.” Faint knocks from the storefront door entered the living room. Snips and Snails made a move towards the front, but Trixie stopped them. “Don’t let anyone inside until Trixie opens the shop herself, after her shower. So about forty minutes.” An hour later (Trixie decided she should brush her mane), she left the comfort of her room for her shop. “Let her in,” she ordered to her assistants. Snips flipped the CLOSED sign to OPEN, and Snails unlocked the door. Berry Punch stumbled inside, all covered in snow. She had been waiting outside the whole time. “Hello *hic* Trixie!” she burped, smelling of sherry. “You have to help me! I’m all out of money *hic* and I don’t have anything to eat! Surely a pony as kind and generous as you could *hic* spare something for me and my little one?” “But of course! Trixie knows of just the thing.” Her horn glowed as she levitated the bucket of ingredients Snails had collected the previous day. “You want something to eat? Take this.” She overturned the bucket of little shelled mollusks with her magic and forced it over Berry Punch’s head. “That’s a bit for each snail, so you owe Trixie seventeen bits by tomorrow. And don’t try to squirm your way out of this. Trixie knows where you live.” She magically seized hold of the drunken mare and booted her outside into the snow. Hardly a moment later, there were knocks on the door. Trixie swore under her breath. “Get that, and whoever it is, slam the door in their faces,” she ordered to her assistants as she left for the kitchen in the back. “Trixie is going to make herself some tea, and she doesn’t want anyone wasting her time.” Snails quickly rescued the stray Helix pomatia oozing on the floor to make the shop look more presentable, and Snips answered the door. In stepped the two massive unicorn mares that had visited the previous day, and they were wearing a familiar pair of scarves to go with their top hats and monocles. “Good morning, my little ponies,” the white unicorn greeted. “Is your employer, the great philanthropist known as ‘the Kind and Generous’ Trixie here?” “Uhh, she doesn’t want to be disturbed right now,” Snails answered slowly, eyeing the strangers’ scarves. “OUR VISIT WILL BE WORTH HER TIME,” insisted the dark mare. “YOU SEE, WE ARE PRINCESS LUNA.” “Both of you?” asked Snails. The white unicorn chuckled. “No, but I am Princess Celestia.” Snips and Snails immediately prostrated themselves, and when they rose, the immortal alicorn of the sun explained, “Yesterday, your employer Trixie passed our little test with her selfless generosity. We have come to reward her virtue with fifty thousand bits and the title of Baroness Trixie.” “HERE ARE OUR ROYAL SEALS,” said Princess Luna, and each alicorn levitated to the unicorn colts their respective crescent moon and sun medallions. “And I believe these are yours,” Celestia said as she removed the scarf from her neck. They returned Snips and Snail’s presents, and even the discount Hearth’s Warming twig. Trixie stormed into the store from the back. “What’s with all this shouting? Trixie said she is not accepting any guests!” She slammed the door in the faces of the royal alicorn sisters, leaving them outside in the snow. Trixie returned to the back to enjoy her tea, but her sense of victory was short lived. Her assistants not only let the tall mares back in the store, but into the dining room. “WE FLATTER OURSELVES, BUT WE ARE TRULY GUESTS OF GREAT IMPORTANCE.” Trixie set down her teacup and stood up from her cushion. “Why, Trixie must apologize. It’s not often one receives a Hearth’s Warming visit from such distinguished visitors.” “SO THOU KNOWEST OUR IDENTITIES, AT LAST?” “Well, if Trixie is not much mistaken, you are the first place winner of the Equestrian Starving Deaf Actresses’ Guild’s Most Annoying Caps Lock Abuser Competition.” She turned to the radiant white mare. “And it is quite overwhelming for her to be accompanied by the poster filly for Micolt Jackson’s Nose Job and Coat Bleach Corporation.” Both tall mares opened their mouths to protest, but Trixie cut them off. “Shut it, fatsos! You’re no doubt trying to impress Trixie into giving you something, but Trixie sees through your tricks. Gone are the days when those Parasprites called the residents of Ponyville could just leech off Trixie’s hard work. Oh no. Trixie is a new mare now. The Great and Powerful Trixie owes nothing at all to those layabouts, and nopony is going to stop her from attaining the glory she rightfully deserves. Now stop wasting the Great and Powerful Trixie’s time and get out!” The visitors stared sternly at Trixie, who gladly returned the favor. Then, without a word, they left. The azure unicorn smiled and returned to her tea. Her mind raced with great thoughts and plans. She would sell the magic shop – she didn’t want anything tying her down – and leave the wretched town of Ponyville. She would use her considerable magical talent for other uses… Her pleasant musings were predictably interrupted by her assistants. “Um, Trixie? You know those unicorns were actually Princess Celestia and Luna, right?” Trixie rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous, Snips. What would the royal Sisters be doing here?” “They came to reward you for being the kindest and most generous pony in Equestria by giving you fifty thousand bits and a fancy title. Uhh… Baroness!” “Snails, they couldn’t have been the Princesses. If they really were Princess Celestia and Luna, they would have given Trixie their royal seals.” “Ooh! Like these ones?” Snips and Snails levitated the sun and moon medallions onto the table. The Great and Powerful Trixie gave them a careless glance as she sipped her tea. “Yes, just like tho–” THE END